Dark Flowers
by Niphrehdil
Summary: When Charles is captured by a secret organization and used as a weapon for searching and destroying other mutants, Erik has to go after and save him. Erik keeps telling himself he does it only for the mutant kind. At least until he finds Charles.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys!**

It's been a while, but now I finally have time and energy to write something longer, this time for the X Men.

This fanfic is set after the events of First Class and Days of Future Past. This has been also posted to A03.

**Warning:** Dark themes, minor character death, torture, imprisonment, violence.

* * *

**Charles is dead.**

Or that's how he feels like, at least. He can't be sure.

Nothing makes sense here.

He might be deaf too. And blind.

Or then he can see too much - too much bright lights, white jackets. Scalpels. Wires. Screaming. Endless screaming.

It's either too loud or too quiet.

Deadly quiet.

_My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant. I am a telepath._

He repeats the three sentences like a prayer. Like a mantra.

These are the three things he can still remember, and the part of him being a telepath is slowly fading already.

Maybe he isn't a telepath at all. Maybe he is just insane.

He fears he will soon forget that. Who he is. What he is. Why. Piece by piece. Everything else is gone already.

_Charles is not dead,_ Charles tells himself. _Charles is dying_.

There is a difference.

Or at least there used to be.

_Charles is dying. Please someone, anyone, help me._


	2. Chapter 2

All Erik hears at first is whispers. Whispers from the streets, from their missions. They are vague, and full of uncertainty.

Erik refuses to believe it, refuses to be moved by it. He is the leader of the Brotherhood. He is Magneto; the metalbender that both humans and mutants fear nowadays. But while humans hate him and try to chase him, some mutants admire him and want to join him despite their fear.

They go on missions. Erik trains the children and the youngsters, anyone who has been abandoned by humans or just wants to belong somewhere. Erik offers them food, shelter and training. In return, he expects them to fight for him. Everyone does.

Few die.

Erik doesn't care, he sees them as collateral damage.

But every time they bury someone at the backyard, Charles' silent disapproval points a blaming finger on him in Erik's mind. Erik is certain that it's his own conscience just disguising himself as Charles.

Either way, it doesn't matter.

Erik doesn't want to think about Charles.

Not after everything that has happened.

Erik refuses to be haunted by someone who is still alive.

* * *

But when the whispers and rumors get louder, Erik feels a pang of worry in his chest. What if it's true? A secret, weaponized human organization called Chimera, named after the Greek mythological creature, was chasing down mutants. And somehow Chimera knew exactly where the mutants were, and what their powers were. They were ruthless, quick and deadly. Nobody stood a chance to them; it was as if the Chimera knew what was coming. They took mutants down one by one. And they only got more powerful all the time. They were spreading their webs everywhere, taking down mutants that even the Brotherhood had never heard of. Even little children.

In the end, Erik couldn't stop ignoring Chimera.

Or, well - he_ could_. But the rumors were starting to keep him awake at night.

_Chimera has captured the world's most powerful telepath. They are using him as a weapon. They have corrupted him. They will come after us all._

Erik stared at the ceiling, hating how his stomach dropped for the thought.

_World's most powerful telepath._ Humans might be stupid, but they made no mistake when it came to the extent of Charles' powers.

It had to be Charles. It just _had_ to. It couldn't be anyone else.

Erik felt the sudden deep, dark satisfaction that Charles had to suffer torture and captivity like he had. First in his childhood, and then with the Pentagon prison. That Charles would understand his pain and agony, the ones that had driven him after Shaw and motivated him for so much in his life.

But those thoughts were quickly thrown aside. Sweet, naive Charles. Paralyzed, idealistic Charles. _His_ Charles. Captured.

It sparked a rage so feral in Erik that it almost frightened himself. Almost, but not quite.

Erik had avoided Charles and his band of mutants all this time. They rarely crossed paths. But his freshly formed Brotherhood hadn't heard anything from the school in six months. The silence seemed ominous, now that Erik thought back to it.

And the fear in his chest started to grow worse.

What if they truly had taken Charles? What if the Chimera had really tortured him and forced Charles to use his powers to track down mutants? Like he had with Cerebro?

The thought scared Erik much more than he wanted to admit.

Idealistic, pacifist Charles was no threat to him. Had never been.

But Charles used as a weapon?

Charles, who could read minds, whose telepathic range was larger than anyone else's, who could control people and their desires, create illusions, physically manipulate them?

Even Erik knew that if it the rumors were really true, each and every mutant on the face of the Earth was in danger.

* * *

He did research day and night. He manipulated, lied, pulled strings and even killed to get more information. He used as much violence as he needed.

Chimera was good - the whole organization barely left any tracks.

But even the most cunning enemies always had flaws._ There is always a flaw in the system._ Always.

And the mutants had their abilities in their disposal, after all.

So, after three weeks, they managed to track down Chimera's headquarters.

It was a short time considering how well hidden the organization was, but Erik oddly felt the weight of each passing day like he was the one being tortured. He dropped everything else to go after Chimera.

_We are doing this for the sake of mutant kind. We are doing this for the greater good._

Erik refused to admit that all he could think about was Charles, and getting him out of that sick place.

_What an adorable lab rat you make, Charles_, Erik had once told him jokingly.

Now the thought of it made Erik sick.

It would be an understatement of the year to say that his feelings about Charles were mixed, but right now Erik could only feel determination. He would strike down Chimera with the Brotherhood. He would leave no living human soul behind. Cold and quick. Erik pushed Erik away, and became Magneto.

Magneto was ruthless. Magneto was calm. Magneto could rip stadiums of the ground if it pleased him.  
Magneto did not care about one mutant, he cared about the safety and future of the mutants overall.  
Magneto would free the captured mutants. _But you, Erik, have only one priority, _his mind answered.

Erik crushed the small voice angrily.

Erik forced an icy calmness set over him, as the Brotherhood got closer to the Chimera headquarters in their private jet.

_Charles isn't that important. He is someone you need to find in order to complete this mission. Stop thinking about him. Stop worrying. As if the naive idiot wouldn't have put up a fight. He's fine, he just needs to be taken away from here. Just like everybody else._

_Focus._

Erik pulled the helmet deeper to his head when he barked orders to left and right. His mutants obeyed without questions, like they should.

When the Chimera headquarters finally got into view, a sly, sadistic smile slipped to Erik's lips. _You pathetic humans. _

Soon, the whole headquarters were filled with the howling sound of alarms going off.


	3. Chapter 3

Chaos is where Erik feels most like home.

He has never had any trouble with gunfire, explosions and screams surrounding him. It has always reminded him of his own mind more than anything else. It was familiar. Cozy, even.

Erik has never really feared dying, or death in general. Why would he? He has seen the worst suffering the Earth can provide back at the camps. Death would be easy. Death is very simple. Permanent. And yet, it was the most powerful motivation and leverage Erik could use with humans. So in a way, he had made his peace with death.

Alarms rang in the Chimera headquarters like a broken record. Humans were screaming, gathering guns and running around the corridors. They were trying to contact the outside world and call back-up, but Erik just easily flicked his fingers and disturbed all of their radio signals with metallic static or simply blew their transmitters and comms apart. Same with computers. Security cameras. Locks. Safety switches.

The metal hummed everywhere around him. It was like a playground to Erik. He turned bullets mid-air and turned them against the humans that had fired them towards him.

Zip. Zap. They went down to the floor like puppets.

Erik's team members had split out, taking down each wing of the headquarters systematically and freeing the captured mutants.

Erik rip doors from their hinges to reveal several mutants and their cells. They cowered before him, looked at him - haunted, cornered - like beaten dogs. They were ready to attack Erik, until he showed them that he was one of them, and told them to either run or follow. Most of them just ran, and Erik couldn't blame them. Captivity made people like wild rats. You could become obsessed with freedom if you spent enough time without it. He could tell from experience.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Time went by, even if was meaningless.

In a war, it always both most the precious and useless thing there was.

Erik tore down labs, letting out shrieks and growls of rage as he smashed, pulled, threw and crushed. He wanted to turn the horrible place into dust.

He showed no mercy. He didn't care how or when the people working here had got involved in this - if they were there and were not mutants, Erik took them down. They had their part in this torture, this massacre and xenophobia, and Erik had no sympathy left for them. He even felt satisfaction in taking their lives. Erik crushed their skulls inside their safety helmets, he drew their iron-filled blood out through their skin, choked them with necklaces, stabbed them with chair legs - it was brutally imaginative work and Erik felt like an artist. He painted the corridors with red and pieces of glass, smiling cruelly on his way, humming an old rock song tune.

Soon his reputation caught up with him inside the building, and the humans didn't even try to stop him. They just ran, and most of them were met with a quickly flying metal in their backs.

_Sad ants. _

Taking over Chimera was easy, almost too easy. Erik let out a incredulous chuckle when he saw their attempts to stop his team members from the still remaining security cameras. Flame throwers? Guns?_ Bows and arrows?_

If his mutant team members had a taste of sarcasm, they would probably laugh at their faces too.

Erik felt brutal satisfaction for witnessing it.

After Trask, most of the humans had calmed down, and the fate of the mutants had been uncertain. The whole stunt with Trask had stopped an open war between humans and mutants, yes. But there would always be some that would hate the ones that were different from the rest, who would seek to harm them, even if it wasn't the government. Erik knew that. He had known it all along. Peace was never an option. Charles had always been too naive to see that.

_Charles._

Suddenly Erik's satisfaction dulled, as he remembered why he was here in the first place. He had told the others that he would free Charles. It was obvious that Chimera would guard their most powerful mutant prisoner with the most care, and Erik couldn't wait to tear those people apart. He wanted to have the pleasure of killing those sick bastards. _And it has nothing to do with Charles,_ Erik told himself._ It's just necessary to take the most inner circle of this organization down._

Erik's senses sharpened as he got deeper and deeper into the heart of the building. It was obvious that he was heading to the right place - there were more doors, security locks, alarms and guards here. He destroyed everything in his way. It was almost hysterically wonderful that the whole place seemed to have been carved out of metal. It was like it was made personally to amuse Erik's whims and the flickers of his fingers.

Bang bang. The falling bodies almost made a rhytmic beat.

Had there been more time, Erik would have turned this into a dark dance. _Danse makabre._

Debris flew around him like snow. It made everything look like it was happening in slow-motion.

But as Erik got through more doors, a disturbing, gnawing feeling started to crawl into his chest. Where was Charles? Shouldn't he be trying to escape like every other freed mutant?

Or had they taken away his wheelchair, so he just simply couldn't get away?

An anger flashed at the thought, and a small part of it was coming from Erik's never-ending guilt about what had happened in Cuba. Erik would probably remember the way Charles had fallen to the sand until the day he died.

He violently forced those thoughts away._ Focus._

But Erik's pace started to slow down. He clearly had reached the most heavily guarded part of the Chimera headquarters, but hadn't seen any mutants in a long while.

He looked around the mess that the corridors had turned into. He let his eyes wander at the long halls, so clearly reminding of a prison, but as Erik let his power flow to the doors, he found to his surprise that none of the doors were locked. As if the humans didn't care if someone tried to escape.

_Or if they just __**couldn't**__ escape._

Erik gritted his teeth. Were they so stupid? Charles might not be able to walk, but it wouldn't take him long to take over someone's mind to carry him away or find another way to get out.

It was only then when the horrible thought occurred to Erik.

Maybe this wasn't because of stupidity. Or arrogance. Maybe it was because of _confidence_. Confidence that Charles would _not_ be able to get away, doors locked or not.

Erik tasted bile in his throat, because of the implications of that trail of thought. Charles might be a lot of things, but he was never violent unless it was absolutely necessary. He was always civil, calm, and could be negotiated with. But the humans convincing him to stay on his own accord? Either the humans had had to corrupt Charles really badly, or then there was something else holding him back. Erik felt his inner rage getting more and more stronger.

He felt uncertainty and worry eat his insides.

_Worry._

Such a peculiar feeling.

Erik hated it, because it implied that he cared.

He had already decided a few years back that he did not, in fact, care about Charles anymore. That was what he had told himself.

Erik hated to be wrong.

_Focus. Focus. He has to be here somewhere._

Suddenly Erik heard running footsteps. Before he actually saw the man coming at him, he flicked his hand and drew him around the corner of the corridor he was standing in, and pinned the man to the wall with the aid of a metal belt, and several other objects on his clothing.

Erik growled as he saw the man - an overweight, bald man with a white lab coat and sweaty forehead. He had a panicked look on his eyes - like a deer in the headlights. Erik instantly hated the man even more, because he reminded Erik of all the people that had poked and experimented on him back at Pentagon.

_You bastards. You are all the same._

The scientist looked absolutely terrified of Erik, and he turned ghostly white as Erik pinned him harder to the wall.

-Well, well, well..." Erik cooed. -What have we here?" he teased in a pleasant voice, but there was a dangerous steely tone in it, and the rubble framing him only magnified the effect.

The scientist only looked more frightened. -Please don't kill me. Please!" he whined, terrified.

-I will not kill you." Erik said, fake warmth slowly disappearing from his face andd voice. -Not yet. First, I want to know where you are keeping Charles Xavier."

The man looked authentically confused for a while. Then his face light up in realization. -Oh, you mean Reach?"

Erik couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow. The man took a nervous breath and started to sweat even harder. -Th-that's what we call the subject. I o-only know his original name because I saw the file a few months back. I'm s-sorry, please don't..."

-Subject?" Erik said in a dangerously quiet voice.

The man stared back at him.

-Charles Xavier is _not_ a 'subject'. None of us are, and ever should be." Erik said, his inner rage getting even worse. -We are not rats for you to be experiment on," Erik spat venomously.

-Y-yes, of course, sir. I'm sorry, that's just the language we used...I only work here, and do as I am told."

Erik's features hardened. -I don't like people who blindly follow orders."

The scientist's eyes only widened, since even he realized he had said something wrong. A sob escaped his mouth.

-Please, my name is Tom, and I have a family. And I've...I've never mistreated Reach, though, I've never participated in any of it!"

Erik stared at the scientist. He took a good look of his clothes, body and hair. The colour of his eyes.

-Tom," Erik repeated hollowly. -If you tell me where you are keeping_ Charles, _you might live a few minutes longer. I don't care about you or your family. You've made the choice to rob lives from others, so why should I be a better man and spare yours? Imprisoning someone is worse than killing them. Why should I care whether you were the one who closes the doors or holds the key, or empties the syringes, uses the whip, gives the orders or just obeys? How is your role in this chain making your sins any less horrible? You participate in it, so you accept it. Revolution and change both needs someone who refuses to do as everyone tells them to."

The scientist looked at him with wide eyes and panted heavily. He clearly was at loss what to say.

Erik sighed. His anger and bitterness only seemed to feed on this conversation. -Tell me where Charles is, so I can get him out and leave, and this will be all over," he said, almost feeling tired.

-G-get him out?" Tom stuttered in horror.

Erik's stomach dropped at the way he said it.

-You can't...N-nobody can get him out. Reach stays here."

Erik took a step closer, and the sudden movement startled Tom so much he yelped. Erik's eyes burned as he looked Tom in the eyes. -What. Do. You. Mean?" Erik said, pronouncing every word too clearly.

Tom started to shake like a leaf. -Reach is..."

-STOP CALLING HIM THAT!" Erik roared and threw the man to the wall another time for emphasis. Tom was left choking for air, and his limbs flailed in the air helplessly.

-A-a-alright. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." the man started to shed quiet tears of fear. -The-the chamber is that way," he said, pointing to his right. Erik glanced at the direction, then back at the man.

He calculated the situation for a while, anger making it almost impossible to focus on everything. Erik took a deep breath. -You said I can't get him out. Why?"

And then Erik watched, like in slow motion, as the horror spread to Tom's face. There was some odd finality in it, like Tom had just realized that the last hope of him getting out of this alive had just been destroyed. That whatever he was about to say, would tip Erik over the edge. Erik felt ice starting to spread to his heart.

-B-because...he'll die if you do."


	4. Chapter 4

Silence.

There is only silence.

Not the kind of calming sense you can have on a Sunday afternoon while drinking tea.

The kind of silence where there is no sound, no light. Even if you scream, there is no air to carry your voice. You can't even hear yourself screaming. Or breathing. Or your bones creaking under movement, your muscles snapping lightly. It's like you don't even exist.

It's _deadly_ quiet.

Silent.

As silent there can ever be.

Charles is alone.

He can't see anything.

_My names is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant._

That is all Charles can produce in his mind. And even then, he can't hear his own voice. He doesn't remember what it sounds like.

Charles is starting to forget what 'a mutant' is.

Nonetheless, he keeps the mantra going.

_My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant.  
My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant.  
My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant.  
My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant..._

Charles is pretty sure there used to be something else, too, but he can't remember what. It doesn't probably matter. He has to be insane. Or dead.

He can't feel his body. He can't feel anything. He can't feel any pain.

_Pain._

Charles craves for pain, because that would be the only real thing now.

He doesn't even remember what his own face looks like. Or body. Or if he even has a body.

There is something right at the edge of his awareness, but he can't quite catch it.

Then it's already gone.

_My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant... _

Charles is starting to hope it will be over. Whatever that means.

_My name is Charles Xavier. I am a..._

_I am a..._

A what?

What is it? Charles feels like it's slipping from his reach like a soap, even if he doesn't know what a soap is anymore.

Then it's gone, like everything else before it.

_"YOUR NAME IS REACH." _a loud memory suddenly yells at him.

Charles looks at the memory, confused.

No.

No_. _It's not right.

_My name is Charles Xavier. I am..._

But Charles doesn't know what he is.

Only that that other, _other_ name isn't his. He even refuses to repeat it.

Instead, Charles holds on the one thing he has left.

_My name is Charles Xavier. _

_My name is Charles Xavier. _

_My name is Charles Xavier._

_My name is Charles Xav... _

_Xa... _

Charles fights and fights back, but there is nothing he can do.

_My name is Charles_.

_My name is Charles_.

_My name is Charles_...


	5. Chapter 5

For a moment, Erik was completely frozen.

He stared at the scientist at his mercy, who had just told him that if he tried to take Charles away from here, he'd die.

Erik's mind refused to comprehend what he has just been told.

_Charles can not die._

Not yet.

Not in _years_ to come.

Logan had said that he and Charles would both live to be old and grey, fighting each other about views and ideologies for decades. Erik would have been, in an odd way, alright with that. Almost had looked forward to it, playing cat and mouse with Charles. If they couldn't live side by side, they could at least live at the same time. Logan's promise about the future had been one of the reasons why Erik had never really spared any thought to Charles after the whole Trask thing. He had _known_ Charles would live his own life with his own views somewhere further away, in his school maybe. And Erik would have let him.

Naturally Erik now saw how ridiculous his assumption had been. The whole future had been changed when Mystique hadn't killed Trask. There was no guarantee about anything now. Absolutely none.

Erik realized how childish he had been. There was a very good chance that Charles could die. That Charles could be already dead.

_No. Stop. Focus._

Slowly, Erik came back to himself, and started to sense things around him. He realized he had been staring at Tom's moving mouth for a long time without hearing anything the scientist had said. Pure shock had made Erik freeze, but now his anger was rushing back to him. And it even stronger than before.

Tom was chanting pleas all the time. Begging for his life, even if he already seemed to know that there wasn't a scenario where he walked out of this. Erik's long trail of bodies was a proof of that.

Erik's grip on the man suddenly tightened, and his features hardened. -Take me to him," he growled at Tom. The scientist looked helpless, and Erik let him drop to the ground. The man was shaking like a leaf, and looked up to Erik with tear-stained cheeks.

Erik felt no pity towards him. He kicked the man to his side. -Move! Get me to him!"

Tom still stared.

He looked as if he was more scared to show the way than to stay unmoving. Erik felt increasingly sick as he imagined which state Charles was in. Chained? Locked away? Beaten? Who would raise their hand against a crippled paficist?

-I SAID MOVE!" Erik yelled, suddenly realizing all of the metal objects from the corridor were floating in the air threateningly. Erik was breathing heavily, realizing his anger had reached a point where he couldn't even control his powers fully. Anger, so much anger.

Tom finally hurried to his unstable feet, and started to stumble towards a corridor. Erik followed him with heavy steps that made the corridor echo. Sparks of electricity flew from the destroyed plumbing and walls. Tom kept looking around him like anything could explode any second. And it just might.

Erik wanted nothing more to take his anger out on the scientist, but he also knew that he'd find Charles a lot faster this way.

Tom lead him through several doors that Erik simply tore to the ground, even if most of them were open.

As they got deeper into the heart of the most heavily guarded prison, Erik saw tons of highly expensive looking machines and computers, clearly high-tech. There were rooms full of them, row after row. Then there were the labs. Dozens of labs with samples and books on their tables. Erik recognized some of the skin or hair examples in the jars - they were from the mutants he had freed earlier. Erik felt bile rising to his throat again, making him feel ill. And his anger deepened even more.

_We are only animals in your eyes. Freaks._

Erik's hands tightened into fists.

Finally, Tom started to slow down. They passed a room which had its door open, but the horrible stench from it made Erik gag. He almost passed it by quickly but then he saw a hint of blue. Erik froze where he stood, and let his power open the metal door a bit further. The horrible smell increased, but the sight was a lot worse. It almost made Erik retch.

The floor was filled with dried blood, waste and body parts. There were several scalpels and blades scattered around the room, and more sticking out of its one prisoner. There was a figure hanging from the ceiling, his arms chained up, his head hanging limply against his chest. Erik would have recognized Hank's blue mutant form anywhere, but he almost couldn't tell now - the poor man's blue body was so torn apart, slashed and slit that he almost could mistake it for someone else. _Something_ else. The figure didn't even look whole anymore.

Hank had been torn apart. Literally.

And killed.

He was very much dead.

Erik stared at the dead mutant and felt a sting of grief for him. He had never been close to the boy, but he had been decent soldier and accountable in a fight. And more importantly, Hank had taken care of Charles all those years.

Erik gagged dryly at the horrible sight. He could only stand there frozen, as much as he wanted to walk away. He let all the poignant anger and helplessness wash over him. Then Erik reached with his power and made the the chains free Hank from the ceiling, and his blue body dropped heavily to the ground. He looked at least a little more dignified there.

Erik stared numbly. This was all he could do for Hank. They had never been exactly one the same side, but that didn't mean Erik had anything against him.

And he was a mutant. Visibly different, which seemed to make humans hate them more.

Erik turned darkly back at Tom. Tom stared at the sight before him like he had never seen it before. His face turned green, and he doubled over to throw up.

_You sick bastards. You sick, hideous bastards._

_You are the monsters, not us. Not us. We never were._

_I swear, if you have done anything as horrible to Charles, I swear, I will hunt you all down like dogs and tear you apart._

_I will make you regret you were ever born. Each and everyone of you._

Erik felt horrible for ever being grateful that Charles had been captured. Erik had seen and experienced a lot of horrors in his life, but not much could compare to this. His fear for Charles grew every second, and now Erik didn't even try to suffocate it. He was absolutely terrified of what state Charles could be in.

Even when Tom assured him he hadn't had any knowledge of this, Erik just kicked him again to get him moving.

He couldn't stay in this place a second longer than necessary. He was shaking with rage.

The next few doors went by in a haze.

When Tom finally opened the last, extra thick door, Erik almost hoped he had never come here. His skin crawled with horror as he saw the room with lab equipment and thousands of wires, all leading to the big metal table in the middle of it. Without even looking, Erik knew he had finally found Charles.

Erik took slow steps towards the table, his breath catching in his throat.

Charles was lying on the big metal table, which almost resembled a coffin. The edges were high, and there were hundreds of small wires going in and out of Charles.

Erik suddenly realized many disturbing things at the same time. One - that Charles had been very likely been held at this same place for all the time he had been captured. They had kept him alive and functioning through the tubes - Erik could see they'd been feeding him through the tubes that led straight into his veins - like a coma patient. Two - Charles' eyes were open, but he clearly couldn't see anything. Three - most of the metal was surrounding his head, which looked like a vague replica of Cerebro.

But the most horrifying sight didn't even sink in at first.

_No. No._

His mind just kept telling him 'no' repeatedly.

Erik's skin seemed to crawl and itch, and his mind burned.

Erik could only be sure of what he saw when he could feel the metal quietly hum at him.

Charles' body was pierced by dozens of needles. Everywhere. There were needles going to his legs, to his knees, hips, sides, arms...Even neck and temples. There must have been over 50 of them, symmetrically at each side. There was no blood, indicating that the holes had been there quite a time. The needles were extremely thin but sharp, and Erik searched for their length with his power. Some of the needles went in deep into Charles' body.

Erik had to turn his head away for a moment, and gasp for a breath.

_Dear Lord._

Tom had crawled into the corner of the room, staring Erik.

As much as Erik wanted not to, he turned back to Charles. He spotted an old scar on Charles' arm, clearly left by a scalpel. But besides that, there were no other visible injuries. Just the needles and the oddly looking helmet.

-Charles?" Erik whispered, and his voice got stuck to his throat. He sounded broken, and couldn't help it.

He got no reaction in return. As Erik stepped closer, he immediately sensed an odd presence in the air - like a static field. It felt familiar, and it took a moment from Erik to realize it was exactly like the one coming from his own helmet.

Only that it was from around Charles' head.

The true implications took a moment to sink in.

They had blocked Charles' telepathy by blocking all sound and voices around him.

It was sensory deprivation, and it was a form of torture. People could go lose their minds because of it.

Erik was too shocked to speak.

His imagination did the rest of the conclusions - they had used Charles' mind for their own version of Cerebro. They had forced Charles to track down mutants and read their minds, powers and abilities, and then the Chimera had gone after them. It was systematical murder.

And when they had wanted to silence Charles or had no use for him, they had blocked all of his telepathy and forced him into a complete stillness and silence. Both physical and mental. As if he was dead.

Suddenly Erik feared that Charles _was_ already dead.

-Charles?" Erik once again called, and stumbled next to him. Charles stayed completely unmoving, his eyes open but dull and unfixated.

Erik's heart hammered agaist his ribs, but fortunately he could see Charles breathing. _Gott sei Dank. Gott sei Dank. _

-You can't move him," Tom said. -If you do, the needles will puncture his vital organs and he will bleed out within minutes," he mumbled quietly.

Erik breathed through his teeth. There was _no_ _way_ he was leaving Charles here.

Erik shot a dark glance to Tom. For a moment, he was too horrified to speak, but then the rage took over. -How long has he been here?" Erik didn't even recognize his own voice.

-F-four months."

Erik stared, and felt the weight of the time sink in.

-What did you do to him?" Erik asked, even if he partly knew the answer.

Tom licked his lips nervously. -We tried to ask him to find mutants for us with his powers, but he refused. We tried to convince him to do it willingly, but...He kept saying no. No matter what we did to him, how much, uh, _persuasion_ we used...his decision didn't change. It was then when they started taking it out on the blue man. They somehow connected their minds, and...I think Reach was forced to feel how the blue man felt, for weeks. The blue guy could heal very easily, so...they could keep going hours and even days to end." the scientist looked pale as a sheet.

Erik squeezed his eyes shut, and breathed through his nose. _You forced Charles into Hanks' head while you tortured him?_ _How could you? How could..._

He knew without saying that was a lot worse fate to Charles than anything they could do to him. And these bastards had figured it out.

_Mein Gott._

Charles had probably felt Hank die.

_You monsters. You..._

But Erik couldn't even figure out a word for this brutality.

Tom swallowed. -Reach started to go all kinds of crazy. Tried to take over our minds, but we put him repeatedly into catatonic state or put the tracker device on."

Erik almost gagged dryly again. They had forced Charles' mind to reach out to the world of minds like Cerebro, only to snap him back into complete blackness and sensory deprivation? The contrast must have been borderline painful. It was like throwing an ice cold person to an inferno; the contrast only meant to make it worse. They had used him like a toy.

Erik feared that at some point, Charles couldn't have made his mind different from the others anymore. Erik feared just how much damage these people could have done. Charles' body had already been broken, but if they had broken his brilliant mind...

Suddenly Erik lashed out and threw Tom at the wall again.

-Do you even realize how far you have gone? _Do you_?" Erik spat, hands shaking from rage. Now it was finally boiling over, and Erik felt his world go red. The whole room shook a little, metal walls sighing under his crushing force. Erik squeezed his fingers so tightly against his own hands that he felt his fingernails draw blood. -If he doesn't get out of this building alive, I swear I will..."

But Erik couldn't even figure out what to say. He was left panting, speechless.

He was devastated that this kind of torture and abuse could even exist anymore.

Of all the ways Erik had fantasized about killing Tom, or how much time he could have taken to do it, he simply let a big metal pipe do the job. He just didn't have any energy to spare. He didn't even get any pleasure from watching the scientist fall to his knees and die, or the puddle under him spreading. It didn't bring him any satisfaction. This kind of wrong couldn't be cut with only one little vengance.

Erik hurried back to Charles.

-Charles, old friend...I will get you out of here." he whispered, tracking down the tubes and wires with his eyes. He let his power flood over them, finding their mechanisms and places they were bolted together.

Erik knew that if anyone else had tried out pulling the needles out of Charles, they would surely kill him. Pulling the needles with hands would have been fatal. Grimly, Erik realized the Chimera had never intended Charles to leave this building again. They had wanted to use him as a weapon, and then ditch him like a broken toy when he became useless.

First, Erik ripped the high metal sides from the coffin-like table and let it clatter to the ground. It gave him room from him to pull the needles out.

-Charles, this might hurt. I'm sorry," Erik mumbled, as he forced his full concentration on the needles. He started with the ones on Charles' legs, since Charles wouldn't be able to even feel the pain from there anyway. Slowly, very slowly, he started to pull the needles out with his power, instinctively watching out for puncturing any big arteries or veins, his hands hovering in the air. He didn't stop to think what he was doing; if he did, his horror might take over.

He was literally holding Charles' life in his hands, and there was no room for mistakes.

One by one, the needles dropped to the ground. Erik got more and more careful as he got to the ones inside Charles' hips. Fortunately none of the needles were through bone, just muscle.

The work was slow, and Erik had to push his terror and anger aside to focus fully on the task. No matter how careful he tried to be, a few of the places the needles came out from started to bleed and spread a red pool on Charles' shirt or trousers.

Erik ignored them. As long as he didn't injure anything vital, they were safe.

And it was like the universe had a bad sense of humor, because right then Erik felt the metal of one needle bend under something heavier, and when Erik pulled it out, a heavy flow started to pool out from Charles' elbow. Erik cursed under his breath, but he had no time to spare.

He pulled the rest of the needles out, but once he got to the ones thrusted to Charles' temples, Erik got extra careful. He went closer, covering his mouth momentarily for the fear and disgust. Erik tried not to gag for the plain sight of it - the needles weren't deep, but they were under the skin, and they were clearly keeping Charles in place and also controlling his mind somehow. The way the needles had broken the skin made Erik want to kill something. When he was this close, Erik could also feel the faint air breeze from Charles' lips. It kept Erik going.

Not once did Charles show any signs of pain or discomfort. And it scared Erik more than any screaming or thrashing.

Charles was completely still and unmoving.

Even when the last needles dropped to the ground, wires snapped in two and Erik wrecked the hideous helmet-machine, Charles didn't move an inch. Erik hurried to tie something around Charles' elbow to slow down the bleeding, but only managed to make a remotely tight makeshift bandage. The bleeding continued, and it had to be dealt with soon, but right now there was no time.

-Alright, Charles, listen...I will get you out of this nightmare of a place. You'll be as good as new," Erik said, his voice soft and a fragile smile plastered on his lips.

Unsurprisingly, Charles didn't respond in any way. Erik felt like he was the one who needed the gentle chatter and quiet reassurings more than Charles. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so shaken about anything. The great Magneto had crumbled to the ground. Here it was only worried-sick Erik and broken Charles.

Everything they had ever disagreed about faded into nothingness. Their fights seemed so petty right now. _Everything_ seemed petty right now.

Erik's hands were the most careful as they curled around Charles' too thin body, under his neck and knees. Erik lifted Charles into his arms, and he weighed too little, felt too bony, even if he was completely limp in Erik's grip. Erik made sure Charles' head was supported and leaning on his shoulder. His eyes were still open and unmoving as ever.

The sight was unnerving, but Erik decided to ignore his own, viciously growing panic.

It was like carrying a corpse, but Erik refused to let those thoughts in.

_He is still alive. He is still here. Breathing. You just need to get him out._

Erik tightened his grip on Charles, and stepped away from the wreck of the metal table prison. Erik crushed the devices once and for all, just to let his anger out somehow. These horrible machines would never work again, Erik made sure of that.

_Alright. We are leaving this place now, _he thought to himself, only to remember that even if things were normal and Charles would be himself, he wouldn't be able to hear Erik's thoughts through the helmet.

-We are leaving now, Charles." he said aloud, because it somehow made the promise sound more solid.

Erik turned around, moving carefully, afraid of the damage the needles could have done. He clutched Charles close to his chest, as he stepped out of the prison lab. Erik didn't spare a glance to the room that had turned into Hank's graveyard, even if he could feel the rotting scent of decay reach him while he passed it.

-They will pay for this," Erik whispered to Charles, as he walked further. He stepped over rubble, debris and bodies. If Erik had ever had even the faintest sense of sympathy for these people, it was now gone forever. -They will never lay a finger on you again," he muttered darkly.

As Erik turned to walk towards the outside of the building and to his team's meeting place, he let the corridors cave in to themselves behind him, like they were thin air balloons collapsing due the lack of air. Erik went on like a hurricane, but made absolutely sure no harm came to the unmoving telepath in his arms. Instinctively, he only wrapped Charles closer to his chest.

Chimera had lost this battle.


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

I know Emma Frost was supposed to die between the events of First Class and Days of Future Past, but we are kind of ignoring that now. Okay, good? Thanks.

Let's get into the story then.

* * *

As Erik got closer to the last door, he become more and more painfully aware of something warm and sticky staining his chest. Charles' elbow was bleeding fast - it had bled through the hasty bandage and clothing and was now getting dark red.

Erik glanced nervously at the wound. Had one of the needles fractured an artery? It seemed probable, as much as he hated to admit it. _Damn it._

Erik cursed under his breath.

After everything, he wouldn't let Charles jut bleed out. Erik shifted the telepath a little in his arms, squeezing him tighter against himself, hoping the extra pressure would slow down the bleeding at least a little.

Charles' eyes stayed unnaturally unseeing, staring blankly at nothing. His skin was starting to drain slowly from colour, as blood loss was doing its cruel work. Erik cursed, and cursed a little more. Charles looked absolutely horrible. He had never looked so bad, so fragile, so..._dying_.

Even in Cuba, he had been awake. In pain and distressed, but...so very alive. _And he will be alright again. Focus_.  
Erik had to drag his eyes from Charles and hurry his steps as much as he dared.

The rest of the corridors behind him collapsed in a loud crunching sound.

As Erik finally reached the last door, he threw it open with his power and stepped to the cloudy daylight. Almost all of his team members were already standing there, clearly waiting for him.

-Magneto!" a tall, blonde woman called Fireball called. Her eyes fell on Charles. -Is that the telepath we were looking for?"

Erik froze for a moment before he just nodded. The sudden shift of becoming Magneto and the team's leader was confusing. It was like getting motion sickness. Erik struggled to adjust, like it was hard finding his own place. It seemed that the short trip inside the building had changed him, like just seeing Charles had blurred Magneto. It suddenly felt like a role he had to play. The feeling was disturbing, but Erik didn't have time to ponder on it.

-Magneto! Our jet was already taken away by Hydro and Lock. We have cleared out all of the other wings and freed all of the mutants we could find. Bee and Witch got both killed."

Erik blinked, trying to calm his breathing and keep his barely controlled panic surfacing. He could only stare at his team members, like he was trying to remember their names and purpose. Vaguely Erik understood that everyone expected him to ask questions, since his Brotherhood members were taught to only speak when necessary. But Erik could only stare, and feel Charles' blood pooling on his chest, and realize in numb horror that seconds were ticking by,_ tick tock, tick tock_, they were losing time.

All Erik could think about how unmoving Charles was in his arms, how quickly he was weakening, and that they needed to _get out now_.

There was an uncertain, heavy silence. The Brotherhood members stared expectantly at Erik, and Erik stared back.

Emma Frost was the one who stepped closer and cocked her chin up. -Well, what are your orders, _sir_?" she asked. She had never really liked Erik, but worked in the new Brotherhood because it served her own unknown purposes for the time being. She glanced at Charles. Suddenly her confident features flickered. -Wow, they really did a number on him," she mumbled, and stepped back, as if just being close to Charles meant that the Chimera could harm her too. Her smile died and she looked more serious.

She let her eyes lock on Charles' face, and she tilted her head, as if listening.

Suddenly Erik's brain started to function again, once he remembered that Frost might be able to help. Erik swallowed and ignored his heart hammering inside his chest, and the way his stomach was tied in knots. He glanced hastily around. It took effort to remember what had just been told to him. What was it? _Something about the plane? And casualties?_ Yes, two mutants had died. Erik didn't really care. He didn't even remember which ones they had been. All that mattered right now was getting Charles out of here. -The jet. Right." he said, his voice hoarse.

Erik thought back fast. Their plan had been that his team would take their private jet away, right after they had arrived, but they were never supposed to escape with it anyway. Their own, recently recruited teleporter Leap was supposed to take them out of here.

Erik cleared his voice. -I...I need you to get out of here. All of you. But I want Leap to take me first..."

-No." Frost suddenly said, and something in the tone of her voice made everyone stop and turn to look at her instead. Her whole body tensed and her eyes suddenly widened.

-No, we can't...It's no use." She started to breathe out loudly, staring Charles, lifting a hand to her own forehead like it was hurting her. She looked wary, and the unmistakable look of fear and disbelief filled her face. -I can see it from Xavier's head. This...this has all been a trap. The Chimera's inner circle knew we were coming. The elite circle left a few minutes earlier before we arrived. They got away. They left their people here to die and get slaughtered by us, because they thought it would trick us into believing we had won them."

Everyone stared her.

Frost blinked and shook her head. Her face twisted into anger. -For God's sakes! They know all of our names and faces, our abilities, histories. I can see them in Xavier's memories. They forced Xavier to find us with his powers, and they have us all mapped out and put to their killing list. Magneto is the only one who is blurred, probably because of that helmet. They knew our plan, they found out when Magneto told us the attack plan a few hours before we got here. It's all a set-up. And they also know what we planned to do after this attack. They have seen our hide-out in our heads. We can't go back! We can never go back there! We have to split up or they will just assasinate us all."

That set the whole Brotherhood in nervous chatter and nervous shifting. Erik had a hard time trying to follow Frost's ranting.

-Wait, so...If we follow our original plan, we die?" Fireball whispered.

-Yes! Yes, that's exactly what will happen," Frost said, throwing her arms to the air helplessly, -They let us free all of those mutants just because they didn't have time to remove them, and also to let us think that they were weak. And that we had destroyed them, even if the most important leaders of this organization are still out there," Frost explained.

Erik cursed. He knew the mutants needed fast orders or the situation would spiral into chaos. Erik took a shuddering breath. -Leap! Drop everyone to the most random places you can think of, and then come back here. This team will gather back together later, I will send a word out to you all. Until then, keep a low profile, hide if you need to. Now go!" Erik snarled with a tight voice, and fortunately it put everyone in action.

Leap gathered all of the closest mutants into a group. Erik wanted the teleporter to get him and Charles out first, but his mutants were in the brink of panic already, and Erik's plan to get Leap's attention was interrupted by the sudden odd, ominous feeling that made Erik forget everything else. He glanced down at Charles, and was shocked by the way how ashen and pale Charles looked. He was quickly fading.

-Charles..." he muttered, as his heart skipped a beat and his mind started to fall into a panic. Slowly, Erik started to lower himself to the ground, placing Charles partly on it too, so he could get his other hand free and put it against Charles' quickly bleeding wound and put as much pressure as he dared. The position echoed the one all those years back in Cuba; Erik holding Charles in his arms, the telepath's head against his shoulder, unfeeling legs sprawled on the ground. But this time Charles' bright blue eyes weren't looking up at him with their hopeful, sharp look. They didn't look at anything at all.

Once again, Erik couldn't stop himself thinking that this was like holding a corpse. So fragile, so pale...So much blood. But he couldn't even consider the idea that Charles would die. It wasn't a scenario Erik was willing to accept. _He needs help. A hospital. Anything._

Erik realized he was breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating. -Charles. _Charles._ You need to wake up, alright? Or just...show me you're still with me?"

Distantly, Erik knew that he was being illogical, and that his panic had taken a hold of him, but he couldn't concentrate on anything properly. He didn't even fear for his mutants or his own life. His attention had shrunk to Charles and Charles only. It was like he instinctively knew that Charles didn't have too much time left.

Erik glanced up, desperation radiating from him. He didn't even care how weak and vulnerable he probably looked, all he could think about was getting Charles out of here. To his aghast, Leap had already disappeared with everyone except Frost. It would take more seconds, even minutes before Leap would get back. Why had Erik even let him go? Why hadn't he stopped the teleporter in time? _If Charles dies because of this delay..._

_Stop. Stop! _

_He is NOT going to die. Figure out something. Plan ahead. Focus._

Frost was standing a few metres away, staring at Charles with a shocked expression in her usually controlled face. Erik looked at her with pleading eyes. -Wake him up. Help him."

It sounded awfully like Erik was begging, and Erik had once sworn he would never beg for anything. But frankly, he didn't care. Erik's mouth was dry, his breathing came out in too short gasps, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He hadn't felt his helpless in years.

Frost shook her head. -I...I can't. He's too far gone, Magneto. They have abused his mind for months. They have tortured him, in ways that I can't even...I don't think Xavier could even acknowledge he was a telepath recently. His mind is blurred, bleeding...mixed with others. It makes no sense. It's chaos. I can't...can't really find any logic left there. They have tried erasing his memories, but he really held on to those. Don't know what happened to them, in the end, if they're still there or not. It's like a library after a hurricane - a complete mess."

Frost looked disgusted. For a moment, only a cold wind was blowing in the now empty yard.

-I wouldn't do this for my worst enemy. I have never liked Xavier and his stupid school, but even he didn't deserve this." She shook her head sadly. -But Xavier gave the Chimera a really good fight, I give him that. He has tried shielding, but the Chimera has had another telepath undoing his work. In Xavier's condition, it's a wonder he even lasted this long. He shouldn't be even alive, strictly speaking."

Erik let out a quick breath. The knots in his stomach tightened, and as a last attempt, he trusted on his rage.

-You have to do something!" Erik said, raising his voice, narrowing his eyes. He tried to appear intimidating; it had worked well with him before, even if there was a hysteric shade in it now. Erik's anger would have had more power if he wasn't a shaking, pale mess kneeling on the , who was usually so carefully cocky and unreachable, looked almost pitiful. She sighed.

-I hate to tell you this, _Erik_, but Charles has given up too. His last self-protection instinct has kicked in - his own mind is shutting his body down. His power has turned inwards, reaching for his most deepest neurological systems. He will soon force his own breathing reflex to stop. Xavier doesn't know where he is or probably even who he is, because he doesn't recognize his own mental pathways and will to survive. I don't know how to explain it better. It's like a built-in destruction instinct we telepaths have, even if I have never seen anyone use it before. His heartbeat is already slowing down. It'll be only a matter of time before he stops breathing and will be gone, Erik."

_NO._

-No! Make it stop!" Erik shrieked, eyes wide and suddenly blurring from something hot prickling in his eyes.

_Tears?_ Was he really crying? A grim amusement sparked at the edge of Erik's thoughts. He hadn't cried in a very long time.

_Dry your eyes, Erik. _That's what Charles had told him back in the plane during the whole Trask situation. Right now, Erik would have given anything to have Charles back like that - fierce and accusing. He'd rather take a good fight with Charles any day than this. Anything. He could fight all week if it came to it. _Just Gods, let him live._

Erik didn't even know what he would do in a world without Charles. He had never even considered it being a possibility. _And you're not going to do that now. Stop it._

Erik brushed his cheek hastily, finding it wet already. -You...You have to do something, Emma. Please. There must be something you can try. Stop him. We will get him to a hospital, and..."

-And then what?" Frost said, cocking an eyebrow. -If he doesn't bleed out, he'll end up a vegetable. He doesn't know _who he is_, Erik. He doesn't remember he is a telepath. Even if he ever woke up again, he would consider himself insane. He doesn't recognize his own body, or voice, or face...Chimera has taken all of that from him. He would think all the voices he hears are inside his own head, and wouldn't be able to filter them. He is as good as braindead, Erik."

Now tears flowed freely to Erik's eyes. Losing Charles would feel like a personal failure. Poignant desperation made Erik feel like he couldn't breathe as Emma's words sank in. Erik gasped, and it turned to a miserable sob. He tried to swallow, to harden his features, to stay unaffected towards the cruelty he had just witnessed inside, but his self-control had gotten badly out of hand.

Erik clenched his teeth together. -No. Charles wouldn't give up like that. There must be something...something they couldn't have robbed of him. You said he might have memories they haven't touched," Erik said with an unsteady voice. He clinged to anything he could, every last bit if hope he could muster.

Frost had that pitying look in her face, like a doctor's who had just come in to tell someone they're loved one would die soon.

Erik swallowed and looked down at Charles. The bleeding had started to slow down, Erik could feel it. Charles' pulse was getting weaker and irregular. _His heart is starting to stop._

Erik took in Charles' clammy face, his long and messy hair. _Don't you dare to destroy yourself, you naive idiot._

Erik mind was slurring, faltering. He tried to think fast. Emma's words played themselves on replay in his head. Suddenly it clicked, like the loudest pieces of a puzzle in Erik's head, and he shot his head up to Emma, eyes gleaming. Wheels turned in his head fast.

-You...You said he couldn't recognize his own mind, right? Because of what they've done to him? But could he recognize someone else's mind?" Erik whispered.

Frost looked uncertain. -Well, in theory, maybe. But it could only be a mind he would know already, one that he has already visited. He tried to get to my head once, but couldn't, so it wouldn't have left any proper memory trace. There's no use for me to even try. Erik, you have to accept that he's not going to..."

-What about mine?" Erik hissed, desperate hope sparking in his chest. -What about my mind? He has been in there, many times. He even reached for the deepest parts once, where my memories are. He should recognize it!"

Frost looked suddenly tired. -I don't think that would work, Erik. Even if it did, he could very well kill you from inside of your own head. He might cling to your mind like a lifeline, only to drown you too. " she said, crossing her arms. She paused, until she added carefully: -We got him out of Chimera's hands, Erik. Xavier's no threat to us anymore. You should be glad, this was a successful mission."

Erik just stared at her, blinking incredulously.

_A succesful mission?_

_A succesf..._

For Magneto, maybe, it would have been. But Erik couldn't find the strength and indifference of his alter ego anywhere. It was lost, unreachable. Erik turned to look at Charles, agony starting to eat its way in his hollow chest. Erik stared at the unseeing eyes, breathing hard. He couldn't let this happen. In quick silence, Erik made his decision. If someone had told him years before this that there would come a day when he would do this willingly, he would have laughed.

But not now.

Erik's hand shook feverishly as he reached to his own head and grabbed the edge of his helmet. His fingers were slicky from Charles' blood, but he took a firm, angry grip from the helmet and as it came off, Erik shoved it so hard to the ground that its surface was fractured. He almost felt odd without the familiar weight and metal around his head, somehow vulnerable. But right now, Erik didn't even worry about Emma hearing his thoughts, he didn't care at all. Instead, Erik reached for Charles' limp hand, lifted it up and pushed it desperately against his own temple. It was a bad mimic of Charles' trademark gesture, but Erik remembered that Charles had once said it helped him to concentrate.

Charles' hand felt too cold already, but Erik held it on place against his own skin.

-Charles, I'm here," Erik whispered with a slightly too cheery voice. -You can find me. You can find your way back from wherever you are. It's me, Erik."

Silence.

Nothing happened.

Wind blew quietly in the yard, making Frost's hair dance slowly.

But Charles stayed unmoving.

Erik couldn't feel anything coming from Charles' mind. No emotions, no projected thoughts. Not even any white noise. There was only silence.

-Charles?" Erik tried again, softer.

Nothing.

He felt like he was holding a rag doll, trying to wish it alive.

Erik took a calming breath. -Charles. I know you're still in there, come on. There is still time. You are a telepath. We've done this before, remember? You used to visit my mind all the time. During our long road trips. Remember Logan? Or that one time you made me see everyone as chickens in that one bar?"

In any other situation, Erik would have felt ridiculous, but now he even searched his own memories of the situations he was describing, and tried to throw them towards Charles. Even the stupid chicken memory. He hadn't thought of that in years. Erik knew he was untrained at this and no telepath, but it didnt' stop him from trying to project their mutual memories towards Charles. Anything that he can do to help. Anything Charles might recognize.

Erik closed his eyes, swallowing down something that reminded a sob. It felt like there was something stuck in his throat. _Charles._ _Wake up._ _Don't do this._

Erik squeezed Charles' hand tightly in his own, as if sheer force could force Charles to reach into his mind.

Is this how it was going to end? Charles would die outside the wrecked headquarters of Chimera. Charles Xavier would die to Erik's arms, right here and now. Erik felt his own heart already hardening from the thought. If this world took Charles from him, Erik would let it burn. He would turn everything into a living hell. He was tired of losing people, of witnessing his kind tormented, hunted and tortured. Erik was tired of all the abuse, the imprisonment, the hatred. He had not grown attached to anyone in a very, very long time, because he wouldn't take another heartbreak. It was easier being untouchable, cold. Like Magneto. He wanted to be indifferent, cold. Even with Raven, he had been able to be that.

Erik had a sudden flash of Shaw laughing at him. Of his own mother falling to the ground, dead. It seemed they were all laughing at him, pointing their bony fingers at him.

Erik tried to shield himself from the thoughts, and reached for the darkest emotions that were always swimming right under his awareness: anger. Bitterness. Taste for vengeance. Magneto's playing cards.

_A succesful mission._ Erik tried to make this into a succesful Brotherhood mission in his head, but how could anything be considered as a victory when Charles was dying? Erik tried to make Charles feel like a normal casualty, another victim of this endless war, but his head didn't accept the thought.

Charles had been his only good friend. Charles had believed in him, had seen something good in him. And Erik had craved that acceptance, that warmth, that had rarely been directed at him in his doomed life.

_Charles, please, I'm begging you._ _You were never supposed to die today. You are supposed to live to be old and grey. _

Erik didn't dare to open his eyes. He was afraid to. He concentrated on his own fingers squeezing Charles' wrist. A faint pulse was still throbbing against his fingers, but fading already.

_Charles. Find me. You might not remember who you are, but I do. You are Charles Xavier. A telepath. And you need to wake up. _

Suddenly, Erik felt a very small tug in his head. It was so vague that he almost thought he imagined it.

Erik's eyes snapped open and he stared at Charles.

_Charles? Charles! Hey. Yes, find me._ Erik's mind raced. Adrenaline kicked in. Had that been Charles? Had it been because of something he had said? Erik instantly started to repeat his earlier words, trying to find the trigger for Charles' response.. _I remember who you are._ _You are Charles Xavier. You are telepath. You need to wake up._

Erik felt the same tug inside his own head again. Erik almost shrieked for pure relief. He stared expectantly at Charles.

-Charles, it's Erik. I'm here," he whispered.

_I remember who you are, Charles. Your name is Charles Xavier. You are telepath, and you need to wake up._

Now, Erik felt a stronger tug. He welcomed it, embraced it. He tried to grab a hold of it, like mentally trying to grab Charles' hand. If it was truly Charles' mind, he wouldn't let it go.

Suddenly, Erik felt a weak rush in his head, like an answer to his repeated mental messages. The most vague voice, mostly unrecognizable, suddenly said:

_My name is Charles._

Erik's heart skipped a beat, and he froze completely. He stared at Charles, whose physical form stayed completely unchanged. Slowly, agony started to lose its hold, as Erik felt hope starting to catch a flame.

-Yes. Yes! Yes, that is your name. Your name is Charles," Erik instantly repeated aloud in a husky, hoarse voice.

_My name is Charles,_ the quiet voice said in Erik's head again.

Erik squeezed his eyes shut, and a tear of relief dropped to Charles' unmoving, pale cheek.

_Your name is Charles, _Erik stated.

A short pause. Erik waited, holding his breath.

_My name is Charles._

Erik felt like he could go on with this simple conversation forever. The voice wasn't exactly Charles', since this voice was odd and distant, but it was definitely coming_ from_ Charles.

_Your name is Charles,_ Erik repeated.

_My name is Charles._

Erik took a better, gentler grip from Charles.

_Hello, Charles. My name is Erik._

This time, it took time, but the reply came.

_My name is Charles._

Erik swallowed in relief, and kept nodding in endless agreement. _Yes, yes. Your name is Charles. You need to hold on._ _Stay in my mind, alright? Stay. _

A few seconds passed, until the same voice spoke again, but this time it was getting quieter.

_My name is Charles._

Erik's worry washed over him like a wave when he realized that Charles was slipping away again. Erik hastily tried to imagine long mental ropes and ties curling around the extremely faint presence inside his mind. He tried to remember all of the mind tricks Charles had once told him about, all those long years ago, but couldn't remember anything solid. Instead, Erik had to put his trust on his imagination. Fortunately, the mental ties tightened when Erik tried pulling them, and as a last resort, Erik imagined them to be made of metal. As abstract as the mental - now made of steel -bonds were, Erik reached for them with his power and started holding them place as hard as he could. _I won't let you go. Stay with me, Charles. _

Erik blinked hard, knowing that there was no time to spare anymore. He looked up, the spell broken, to meet Frost's surprised, almost impressed, face. -We need to get him to a hospital, NOW!" Erik shouted.

Fortunately it was the exact moment when Leap materialized next to Frost. -I think it's time to go," Leap said, cheery as ever, like there wasn't a worry in the world.

Erik felt the sudden rash need to break his face. But it passed, as Erik very carefully gathered Charles back to his arms and got to his feet. Before he had another chance to look up or even draw another breath, Leap had grabbed his shoulder and then they were already gone.

The yard was empty now.

Erik's fractured helmet was left lying on the ground, a long fracture on its side.


	7. Chapter 7

There are voices.

There are lights.

Charles doesn't know what they are or why. He feels like a _tabula rasa_ - an empty painting. Not because he's pure, but because the surface of the painting has been stuffed with so many colours that the contents start to fall out, the frames to give in. The painting has almost collapsed.

He doesn't know how to feel about that. He doesn't really know what 'feeling something' is.

There used to be something. Something important.

Just a moment ago, Charles remembered that. Now it's just right at the edge of his memory, of his awareness, but he can't figure it out.

There is no pain.

For a moment, Charles thinks that he can sense a gentle touch, but that can't be true. Nobody has touched him gently in what seems like a forever. There has been only scalpels and syringes. Needles.

Even if he can't remember what those objects are anymore. It's like knowing alphabets for a language he can not speak anymore.

Charles wants to remember what has been in his mind all this time. It was something important, he's sure of it.

Suddenly, after endless blackness, Charles' awareness is nudged with odd warmth. Like warm water, mixing into his blackness.

But somehow, it brings Charles comfort. It brings an echo from the other side, of the other world, if there still is something like that out there.

_Charles._

Someone is pulling him - the sensation is the most uncomfortable. Charles doesn't want to go. He just wants to succumb deeper into this velvet-like quietness.

_Charles._

It feels like Charles' eyelids are drooping shut, even if he doesn't have a body - or at least he doesn't think he does. But someone keeps poking him, and Charles can not go quietly.

_Charles._

Suddenly, there is a painful crack. And just like that, Charles sees a blinding light in his dark nothingness, and remembers what he had been trying to remember so long.

_My name is Charles._

That's what he had tried to remember. He has a name. And it's Charles.

There is nothing else left, and Charles clings onto that.

_Your name is Charles,_ and odd presence says.

_My name is Charles, _Charles repeats. If he could feel happiness, or relief, he would feel it.

Someone is holding his head above the water, keeping the light shining. Giving him a purpose.

_My name is Charles._

It's easier to keep it going, this way.

_My name is Charles. _

But for some reason, the darkness seems to wrap Charles tighter into its grip. Charles tries to keep on staring at the light, but it goes dimmer.

Stubbornly, something from the other side tries to keep the light shining. Despite the mutual goal, the light is flickering dangerously.

For some reason, Charles can smell iron.

Odd. He doesn't know what it is. It reminds him of something, of _someone_, but Charles can't put his finger on it.

_My name is Charles._

Then there is a voice that Charles hears, and it isn't his own. There is no particular reason why it isn't, but Charles just knows it belongs to someone else. It whispers:

_Stay. _

Charles wants to. He keeps staring at the light, waiting, floating.

He thinks his whole existence is flickering like a candle that is being blown towards, but Charles struggles to endure.

The darkness can wait a moment longer.

Because someone has told him to stay.


	8. Chapter 8

Later, when Erik thought back, he didn't have any solid memories from the first hours from the hospital.

In a blink, their surroundings changed from Chimera's yard to a rushed hospital. Leap had risked a lot, just appearing in the middle of the ER, but even the young teleporter seemed to have understood that time was a luxury they didn't have. Erik gasped as his blurred vision sharpened back, and looked at Frost. Frost stared back.

-Good luck." Frost said, surprisingly sincere, and turned back to Leap. Two seconds later, Leap disappeared with her.

Erik was left in the ER, with Charles still in his arms. Fortunately a nurse saw them, and started shouting to other people. Erik couldn't hear anything, his ears were just ringing so loudly, and he had a hard time breathing. He was covered in Charles' blood, and pieces of debris and metal rubble.

Someone ran to him, asked something from him, but Erik could only stare.

Before he knew it, they were taking Charles away, and Erik wanted to follow, but someone stopped him, and he didn't have any energy to fight.

_Charles_, Erik said inside his own head, hanging on the shaky mental bonds between their minds like a lifeline._ Fight._

He'd know if Charles let go.

He would know.

Erik knew he could feel it if the faint presence at the back of his own head would disappear. Not that Erik was going to let that happen.

And because of that, Erik agreed to be lead to a room by a nurse. They tended to some shallow cuts, asked questions, tried to treat his psychological shock.

Erik didn't say a word during any of it.

He turned all of his attention inwards, at the vague presence just at the edge his mind, made sure it stayed there. Erik even targeted all of his powers there to strengthen the existing bonds. He didn't even bother looking up as some of the metallic hospital instruments kept dropping to the ground or floating distractedly in the room he was in.

* * *

Hours went by.

Erik stared into a white wall.

For one horrible moment, Erik felt Charles' weak grip slip, but Erik reacher deeper, and pulled him almost violently back._ Posessive._ That's something Raven had said. _"You're posessive about the things you care about, Erik,"_ Raven had told him, half blaming, half teasing.

Back then, Erik had laughed and shook his head in disbelief.

* * *

Time lost its meaning.

Nurses had stopped trying to get any answers from Erik.

When a doctor finally came in, Erik woke from his trance.

-Your friend almost bled out on our table, but fortunately we made a blood transfer in time. He's a real fighter, that one. Now, I can't promise anything, but right now he's stable."

Erik nodded, his face an emotionless mask.

Inside, the relief was almost crushing him.

The doctor looked suddenly awkward, and shifted his weight nervously. -Sir, there is also...something we noticed about his spine."

Erik raised an eyebrow.

-Yes. He can't has nothing to do with what happened today," Erik said aloud - the first thing he had said in hours. His voice was hoarse from the lack of use. -It's because of an old accident."

The doctor looked relieved. -Oh, good to know. We thought that the scar tissue looked old, but we wanted to make sure."

Erik didn't answer.

He stared at the dirty clock on the wall.

-How long?"

The doctor was puzzled for a moment. -What do you mean? The recovery process? That's...that's hard to say. His body has gone through a lot of abuse - malnutrition, dehydration, some violence. It could take even two months until his physically recovered. In psychological sense..."

Erik's eyes snapped to the doctor's now, and the doctor shifted his weight again under the scrutinizing look. The doctor pushed his glasses deeper into his head.

-Well, only time shows. The situation seems to suggest that there is some substance abuse involved, we found some narcotic drugs in his bloodstream. And there are naturally the puncture wounds..."

-He's not a bloody addict," Erik hissed angrily. -Those puncture wounds were forced on him. So were the drugs."

The doctor looked shaken for the sudden shift in Erik's behaviour. -Sir, is this a situation where the police is needed? I can call.."

-No! No police!", Erik growled. The metal table at the side of the room shifted a little, and Erik forced a fake politeness to his face to cover it up. The doctor looked startled. -I mean, not yet at least. Not until...he's better," Erik mumbled, and it sounded plausible.

-Right, of course," the doctor said and nodded. -If you need a place to sleep..."

-I'm not going anywhere," Erik stated simply.

The doctor nodded, even if he seemed to disagree. -Fine, then. But I suggest you get some proper rest, sooner or later. You've been through some shock, and it's important to..."

-Yes, thank you. I know," Erik said, voice tight. He wanted the man to get the hell out. He should be with Charles, not him.

The doctor finally turned to leave. But right before he turned the door knob, he turned his head towards Erik again. -I can tell you care a great deal about him, sir. But don't take it out on yourself. There's nothing you could have done to stop this. Sometimes bad things happen to good people."

Erik shot him a dark look. -I'm not 'good people'. And these things shouln't be accepted. We can't just throw our arms into the air, pretending to be powerless. That's just our way to not to feel bad when other people suffer because of our ignorance."

The doctor looked at him, surprised. Then his face softened.

-I can tell you have seen some tragedy in your life, young man. I've treated a lot of people like you. I'm sad if it makes you think you are a cruel person - or that the world is cruel, but what I saw from you today was not cruelty. Far from it. Hold on to that. Or hold on to him. It's much easier than holding on the anger." The doctor gave a reassuring smile.

Erik blinked, and opened his mouth, but found he had nothing to say.

The doctor flashed a small smile. -Goodnight."

* * *

Days passed.

Charles was stable.

On the third day, the nurses told Erik he would survive. Barely. But nonetheless.

They finally let Erik into the room.

* * *

Erik wandered in the hospital, sleeping short times in the uncomfortable chair next to Charles' bed. He was afraid to sleep properly, because he feared his weak grip on Charles' wrecked mind would slip. Erik had constant nightmares of waking up and finding that Charles had died during his sleep.

Fortunately, they turned out to be only nightmares.

The nurses got used to him, mostly. They learnt not to ask questions.

More days passed.

Charles was unconscious, but at least he had received some colour back to his face and skin. The needle marks started to heal, too, even if Erik was certain he would never forget they had been there. Charles' elbow was tightly bandaged. Dehydration was also dealt with; there were so much tubes to take care of it. Erik hated to see Charles attached to so many wires again, and he had to constantly remind himself that these humans were trying to help. They didn't know who Charles or Erik was. Erik had gave them fake names. But Erik was paranoid about the Chimera - he kept glancing over his shoulder all the time, being overly wary about every person approaching Charles.

Erik knew they would find Charles and him sooner or later. But right now, Erik didn't dare to think about leaving - Charles was too weak.

So days turned into weeks.

Charles' body recovered, even if slowly, and Erik breathed a little easier. He was on the brink of exhaustion himself, but he didn't care. He only slept to keep going, so he could watch over Charles' lingering, even if dull, presence inside his own head. And to make sure no harm came to them.

Erik didn't spare a thought to his Brotherhood or what they would do now.

He knew that the Chimera would only use this time of silence to gather their troops and resources and strike soon again. But Erik couldn't bring himself to care.

He was fighting a war he felt like he couldn't win. Even if Charles' body had been saved, there was no guarantee about his mind. Erik was scared to know how much damage there truly was in there, and if it could ever be repaired. Charles was the most powerful known telepath, but there was only so much a person could recover from. And Frost had said that Charles was as good as braindead.

Erik refused to believe it.

Charles had a brilliant mind, even Erik could admit that, despite how different their world views were.

Erik refused to give up on him. And Erik was perfectly aware that he could just walk away from his hospital, gather the Brotherhood back together again, and plan a revenge. He could leave Charles here, and never look back.

The idea seemed wrong.

And oddly, Erik found no motivation or hurry to leave.

If he was Charles' only anchor, he would stay. He had asked Charles to stay, so he felt like the least he could was to return the favour. Even if Erik felt like he didn't own Charles anything.

* * *

Sometimes Erik tried to reach Charles again by talking to him through their telepathic link, but got no answer.

He assured himself it was all about the drugs they kept Charles under with.

* * *

Five weeks had passed.

Charles's arm was almost completely healed now. The needle holes had disappeared. The constant care of the nurses made sure that Charles looked almost fine again. His long hair was clean again, his face full of colour. The old scar of the scalpel faded a few shades, but it would clearly leave a mark anyway. Physically, Charles was almost recovered. But even so, he showed no signs of waking up after they lessened the drugs.

Erik could only watch. And wait.

Sometimes, he gently tugged at the link at the back of his mind, but Charles didn't respond.

Erik's fears started to get worse. What if Frost had been right, and Charles would stay as good as braindead? What if this had all been in vain? What if Erik had been too late?

But after four days of Charles being completely clean of any drugs, the nurses started to look at Charles oddly. Erik watched them carefully.

It was then when Erik saw it too. Images. Flashes.

Charles was projecting quick, small flashes here and there, to the people physically closest to him.

Most of them went to everyone else than Erik, but Erik caught some of them too. The flashes made no sense, though, they were just white noise or distant sounds. Erik's best guess was that they were from Charles' dreams.

Fortunately the nurses didn't seem to realize what was going on.

They just sometimes froze mid-sentence, or raised an eyebrow, when they caught the telepath's restless projections inside their heads.

Erik could deal with that. He was happy for any progress, even if it might not have been any process at all.

Nonetheless, if this continued, Erik knew that they would soon run out of time. Chimera was too effective to wait too long.

* * *

Erik sent a word to Leap. Someone from the police had started to ask after Charles and the 'attack' that had put him into his current state. Erik tried to hold them off.

Erik also sent a word to Frost. He asked her to find a hide-out that could answer all kinds of needs. He had no idea whether she would help or not, but Erik sent a word anyway.

Charles kept projecting.

But he didn't answer Erik.

* * *

After six weeks, Erik started to feel jumpy. His paranoia increased, and he had a bad feeling that things couldn't go this smoothly any longer.

Charles kept projecting, and sometimes he opened his eyes, but he wasn't really awake. He didn't see anything, or fix his eyes to anyone, no matter how much Erik tried.

Fortunately, Charles' presence grew a little stronger in Erik's mind. Erik tried to talk to Charles through their bond, but to no avail. It didn't stop him from trying, though.

Charles was fully healed physically. He had gotten stronger, and was not in life-danger anymore.

_Charles? _Erik tried, automatically, during one long afternoon. He expected silence, just like every time before this - but instead, he felt a weak rush.

Erik stared at Charles' unmoving form in the hospital bed, and concentrated on their link._ Charles?_ he asked again.

There were no words, but Erik felt an unmistakable twinge of confusion coming in.

_Charles. Your name is Charles. It's alright. You're safe._

The silence set back in again.

Erik tried, but Charles didn't answer anymore.

* * *

Days seemed to slow down. Erik waited impatiently to receive word from Frost or Leap.

_Charles?_ Erik tried, what was like the hundreth time of that day.

He expected no answer. Erik was so used to this one-sided conversation that he almost did it automatically now. He filled his long days with it.

But then there was a flicker of something like confusion again, coming from outside Erik's head. _Charles?, _Erik called.

A pause.

_Charles,_ a voice suddenly answered to Erik.

Erik almost jumped in his chair for the sudden change, and his eyes widened. He got up and hurried to Charles' side.

_Charles? Can you hear me?_

There was a short silence. Then, again: _Charles._

Erik now realized that the voice he was hearing was his own mental voice. It was like he was talking with himself inside his own head, but he could feel the other voice coming from outside. It definitely was Charles. _He doesn't remember his own voice. He doesn't remember what it sounds like. So he uses mine._

The thought was simultaneously horrifying and relieving. It was a good sign Charles was comforming, at least.

_Charles. You're name is Charles Xavier_, Erik said slowly.

Silence. Then; _Charles._

_...my name is Charles._

The voice was neutral, emotionless.

Erik closed his eyes in relief, because it was still progress. _Yes, your name is Charles._

Then Erik suddenly caught faint emotion - confusion.

_My name...is Charles?_

Erik's heart skipped a little - surely Charles wasn't losing this one bit now? After all, this had been the only thing Charles had held onto, even back in Chimera's headquarters. But then another thought occurred to Erik - what if Charles had thought that he and Erik were the same person - that they were both Charles?

_Yes. Your name is Charles. My name is Erik._

Silence. Confusion.

_My name is Charles._

Erik wasn't a very patient person, but he was surprisingly calm now. He tried to project calmness.

_Yes, your name is Charles. That is your name. Mine is Erik. There are two of us here._

Silence.

The silence continued.

Erik feared how much the lines and rules of the physical world had blurred in Charles' head.

_Your name is Charles. You are a telepath. You can hear my thoughts. You are Charles, and I'm Erik._

A rush of confusion.

_Charles. My name is Charles._

Erik tried to keep his quiet desperation in bay. Just when he was about to give up, the monotone voice spoke again:

_Erik._

The sound of his own name made Erik gasp aloud, and he stared at Charles' unmoving form in the bed. There was no recognition in the way he had said Erik's name. Charles had only repeated what he had heard, he didn't really know who Erik was.

_My name is Erik,_ Erik said slowly.

_My name is Erik_, Charles repeated in the same voice.

_No, no!_ Erik said hastily, almost too harshly. He forced himself to calm not to confuse or scare Charles any further.

_Your name is Charles. My name is Erik_, Erik explained.

Silence.

Erik sighed, frustrated of how helpless this seemed to be. He watched Charles, and struggled to come up with something that he could make Charles to realize that they were two persons, not one. Suddenly, a ridiculous idea came to his mind, but it was much better than trying to project images to Charles. Charles hadn't paid any attention to Erik's continous attempts to send him mental portrait pictures of himself or Charles. Charles didn't recognize his own face. And Erik wasn't good at this, he only knew some very basic telepath stuff Charles had taught him a very long time ago.

So, Erik went to the very basic level. He gave Charles a wary glance, before reaching to his hand lying on the top of the white hospital sheets. _Your name is Charles, _Erik said, and squeezed Charles' wrist lightly. Then Erik let go. _My name is Erik. _

Confusion.

Silence.

Erik took a gentle grip on Charles' wrist again, wrapping his fingers carefully around it. _You are Charles._

Erik let go. _I'm Erik._

There was a slight tug at the back of Erik's mind. Another.

_Erik_, the voice said from Charles' end. It was a statement again. Erik nodded slowly, replying:_ Yes. You are Charles. I am Erik. There are two of us. You and me._

Confusion. Then, _CharlesErik._

Erik raised an eyebrow. The touch seemed to have worked the best, so he decided to go with that. He once again took Charles' wrist. _You are Charles._

But this time he didn't let go, but instead lifted Charles' hand and wrapped the limp fingers around his own wrist and squeezed them carefully around it. _This is me. Erik._

Confusion. But now, Erik could sense it was from the lack of identical touch. He felt a wave of relief - his idea seemed to work. Maybe Charles hadn't woken up yet, because he had no idea he could control a body of his own. It seemed to make sense.

As Erik watched Charles carefully, he became more and more certain that Charles could feel his touch, and the lack of it too. It gave him hope that Charles could start to pull himself together. It terrified Erik of how basic level this was now, and how basic it could be for a very long time, but at least there was progress. Erik felt satisfaction for proving Frost wrong.

Charles tugged Erik's mind again. This time, it was a bit stronger. It was more like a yank, and Erik winced from the sheer change of force. But not for one second did Erik fear Charles could harm him - Frost had gotten that wrong. No matter how lost, Charles had never been violent. Erik knew him too well.

_Erik. Charles, _Charles said slowly, and now his voice wasn't so monotonous, even if it was still Erik's.

_Yes. Yes, exactly_.

Confusion, confusion.

_Charles. Erik_, Charles kept repeating.

_Yes. You are Charles, I'm Erik, _Erik kept saying.

There was a long silence. Then, Erik could feel heavy struggling. Suddenly, Charles' voice was openly confused: _Why?_

Erik was so blown away for the sudden change in Charles' vocabulary that it took a moment to think of something to say.

_You were hurt. You have trouble remembering things, Charles._

A pause.

_There's Erik, _Charles said_, _now a bit more monotone.

Erik nodded enthusiastically. _Yes, I am Erik, not you. I'm your friend. _

Charles' next question caught Erik off-guard: _Why?_

Erik just stared for a moment. He knew Charles wasn't asking very coherent questions, but he still had to think about a good answer. He bit his lip. _Because...because I care about you, _Erik said slowly.

_Why?_

Erik clenched his teeth. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this conversation. He gave a vague answer to avoid it. _Because that's what friends do._

Silence.

Erik wondered if they had been doing this for too long, and Charles had gotten tired. They had gotten so much more progress in such a short time. But he couldn't sense any exhaustion from Charles' end. Charles tugged his mind again.

_Erik_, Charles said again.

_Yes, Charles?_, Erik replied, to make sure Charles finally understood that they were different persons.

_Is Charles...Erik's friend?_

Erik blinked. That was another question he hadn't anticipated. He swallowed. _Yes...I think so._

Confusion. This needed to be simpler. Erik quickly added:_ Yes. Charles, you are my friend too. _

He almost wanted to say something about the fact that_ hey, we actually might not agree on this because there are such so many things unresolved, _but right now that wouldn't really help. Erik wished Charles would just wake up already and they could both joked about this whole Me Tarzan, You Jane - conversation. But that seemed so far away. Small steps, Erik reminded himself. Small steps...

Then, Charles finally said:_ Why is Erik not Charles?_

Erik wanted to cry out in relief. Charles was getting there, slowly but surely. _Because we are two different persons. You are Charles, and you have a body of your own. I am Erik, and I'm standing next to you. _

Once again, there was the familiar confusion from Charles' end. Erik wondered if it was because of the fact that Charles couldn't actually see him, since his eyes were closed. It was so frustrating trying to make Charles understand that he did have a body of his own, and he could get back to it now and open his damn eyes.

Erik forced himself to calm down. Charles was quiet for a long time.

Erik threw a wary glance on his unmoving form again. Then, slowly, Erik took a grip of Charles' wrist again. _Your body is right here, Charles. You just need to take control of it._

_Why?_

_Because...I'd like you to. Because you need to wake up._

There was a silence again. Erik realized that Charles wouldn't be able to do this without very basic help. He sighed, and ignored how ridiculous or odd he felt. He reached to Charles' face, and brushed the skin under his closed eyes._ Those are your eyes. You should try to open them._

Charles was quiet.

Erik repeated his words and gesture, and Charles radiated confusion. _Charles is not Erik?_

_No. We are Erik AND Charles._

Erik once again repeated his light touch. _These are Charles' eyes - your own eyes. You just need to open them._

There was a long pause. It was like Charles had turned a little inwards, and for a moment Erik panicked that he was losing their link. But then, Charles' eyelids twitched.

_Yes. Yes! That's right, Charles._

Charles did it again, and his eyelids fluttered a little. Erik held his breath, his heart suddenly taking pace. Blue slits flashed under the lids, and Erik wished nothing more than to finally witness those blue eyes seeing something again.

_Charles is not Erik._ _Charles is not Erik, _Charles repeated to himself.

_That's right, Charles. Now open your eyes._

Suddenly, Charles' eyes opened and Erik felt the air knock out of him. Charles' blue eyes stared at the ceiling, and Erik didn't even dare to flinch. Charles' eyes stayed unmoving, but there was definitely some awareness in them. Suddenly, an odd vision swam into Erik's head. It was a dizzying double sight. He could see the vision both from his own eyes and Charles'. He was simultaneously staring both at the ceiling and to Charles. It almost startled Erik how easily Charles had blended into his mind, using it like it was his own.

Charles' end of the link radiated confusion again, and Erik feared Charles might panic. Erik tried to project calmness towards him.

-Charles." Erik said aloud.

Charles blinked, and his mind send a wave of confusion. Their shared visions swam oddly together.

-Charles. Look at me," Erik said aloud.

He could sense Charles struggling to understand, to keep up, but couldn't. Erik felt odd doing it, but he reached to Charles' face with his hand, and very gently turned it towards himself. It made his skin burn when Charles' too blue eyes suddenly were looking towards him, though not _at_ him.

-Charles. Your eyes are open. I'm Erik, the one that's standing next to you. Look at me." Erik said carefully.

_Charles is not Erik. Charles is not Erik._

There was a short pause.

-Charles," Erik repeated, and leant a bit closer. -Look at me. I'm right here."

Painfully slow seconds passed. Then suddenly Charles' eyes moved slightly, and started to wander around. Erik could see himself blurrily from his confusing double vision while Charles had trouble fixing his eyes at him. He was struggling so hard, but couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

As a last resort, Erik squeezed his own eyes shut.

He could feel Charles tug at his mind in scared surprise, but it faded very quickly. Charles' version of their shared vision vanished, all of a sudden. Erik felt huge disappointment. They had gotten so close...and now Charles had just closed his eyes again?

Erik sighed, and opened his eyes lazily, full of frustration.

But when he got them open, his whole world froze for a moment.

Charles was staring right at him, his blue eyes sharp and fixed.

_Charles is _**not** _Erik, _came the triumphant reply to Erik's mind.


	9. Chapter 9

It didn't take long until the doctors and nurses were all over Charles', taking tests and trying to figure out his mental state.

Erik wanted to just the lock the door and keep them out, but he knew he'd raise more suspicions if he did. So he let the doctors poke and prod, and waited patiently until they left.

Time passed.

Charles got tired easily, and Erik was almost afraid to let him sleep. What if he didn't wake up again? What if he had to start their whole work from the beginning?

But fortunately, that didn't seem to be the case.

* * *

Charles woke up again without difficulties, opened his eyes, and watched the people moving in his room. He stayed quiet, like he was observing a whole new world where _Charles was not Erik, _and no matter what anyone did or tried, he didn't talk aloud.

Erik spent hours just staring at him, transfixed. Seeing Charles' eyes sharp and bright after such a long time felt like an odd gift. He had absolutely hated the blink, hollow look they had worn back in the Chimera headquarters.

Charles didn't talk, but Erik could catch some of his emotions through their link. There was confusion, surprise. Neutrality. Silence.

Erik hadn't tried to talk to Charles after the conversation that had finally brought Charles back to himself, because he wanted to give Charles time. And Charles took his time, watching the room and the doctors. He didn't try to take any contact to them, and didn't answer their never-ending attempts to get him to talk. He never moved anything besides his eyes, though, and Erik didn't like that. But once again, he pushed his worries away and forced himself to be patient.

After some time, Charles lost most of his interest in the nurses and doctors. Instead, he started to stare at Erik.

Confusion pushed through their link. It was obvious that Charles knew that _Charles is not Erik_, but couldn't figure out what that exactly meant. Charles eyed Erik carefully, his eyes observing every inch of Erik's face, hair and eyes. Erik felt ridiculously self-aware under the observing gaze, and had to shift in his chair several times. Having Charles staring at this intently was odd. Not necessarily completely uncomfortable, but...strange.

Erik waited for a long time, before he very carefully called: _Charles?_

Charled both looked confused and radiated it through their link.

Erik tried again, this time aloud. -Charles. I'm Erik." he said slowly.

Charles looked at him, his blue eyes suddenly restless. But he didn't answer.

Erik tilted his head. -Charles, my name is Erik. Can you move your arms?"

Confusion. Silence.

Now that Erik could actually look Charles into the eyes, he felt extremely hesitant to touch him. But he knew that this would be a lot faster that way. So Erik got up and got next to Charles. Charles' eyes followed him.

-Charles, you should learn to use your body again. We are not the same person, you already understood that. Now, can you move your arm?"

Charles just stared blankly at him. Erik sighed, and held back the urge to roll his eyes. -Like this?" he added, and lifted his own hands into the air, waving them a little, and then lowered them back.

There was a slight tug through their link again. Erik waited for a few quiet seconds. Then his heart leaped in surprise as his own hands once again lifted into the air, but not from his own command. Erik could only stare at them lifting up in the air in slight horror, feeling the movement but not controlling it. Then he glanced at Charles, wide-eyed, realizing what had happened. Erik tried to get himself back to control. _Don't freak out. Don't scare him._

But it was hard not to, when Erik got a good reminder that Charles could literally control people if he wanted. Erik swallowed as his own hands lingered in mid-air eerily, and Erik stared down at them like they were alien limbs.

-Charles, uh...You moved _my_ arms. But they are not yours. You have your own." Erik said, trying to sound relaxed. The sudden loss of his hands was more than a little horrible experience. Erik didn't dare to try and move them. He bet that he couldn't even do it. Charles was instinctively so much stronger.

Erik swallowed. -Charles...Your arms are next to you. Can you...can you please let go of mine?"

Charles radiated confusion.

-Charles is_ not_ Erik, remember?" Erik added, hoping the familiar statement helped. -This...this is my body, not yours."

Suddenly, Erik's hands dropped limply back down. Erik let out a short sigh of relief. Charles eyed him intently. _Charles is not Erik,_ Charles assured.

-Yes, that's right." Erik said, satisfied from hearing Charles talk once again, and carefully tried to move his right hand again. For his utter relief, he could do it now. He reached for Charles' arm resting on the hospital bed. He touched it very lightly. -_This_ is your arm. I know you can feel this. Just try to move it, okay?"

Charles seemed to understand. But again, Erik's own hands shot up to the air, and Erik felt a rush of frustration coming from Charles.

_Not Charles'_, Charles said, as if he knew what Erik meant, but couldn't succeed.

_Exactly,_ Erik said, once again trying not to freak out about his own hands moving on their own. It was rather terrifying that Charles could use him like a puppet, how perfectly and seamlessly their minds had blended together. Erik had known of course that giving Charles entrance to his mind was a risk, but still, he hadn't hesitated in doing it. But somehow, Erik had almost forgot how absolutely terrifyingly powerful Charles actually was. His telepathy and mind control came so easily, so strongly, that Erik had to remind himself that Charles would never hurt him. For once in his life, Erik was utterly glad that Charles had chosen to use his power only when it was absolutely necessary. He could probably bring countries to their knees in one afternoon if he wanted to.

But Erik shook the thoughts off as his own hands dropped again, and he regained their command. Charles looked at him again, and gave a flash of concentration through their link.

Erik lifted his hand to the bed again. He let his fingers brush Charles' arm. -You can do it. Just move your arm," he said quietly.

Charles clearly tried to obey his request, but couldn't. Erik waited for a long time. At least Charles wasn't randomly taking control of his arms for the time being. Erik had an idea, but felt extremely reluctant to try it. But as more seconds passed, and Charles started to radiate more and more frustration all the time, Erik forced all of his hidden awkwardness away, and just reached for Charles' hand instead. Biting his lip hard, Erik tried to take both a neutral and careful grip.

-Squeeze my hand," Erik said. -Like this," he added and squeezed Charles' hand.

Charles' eyes slided towards their hands. He could obviously feel the touch. It seemed to be simpler command than moving his whole arm.

_Erik...Erik's hand, _Charles said slowly_._

_Yes, Charles, that's my hand you can feel squeezing yours. Now squeeze back._

Charles' eyes flickered to Erik's, and then back to their joined hands. _Erik first, _Charles suddenly said.

Erik looked at him in surprise, and almost laughed how commanding Charles sounded. But then he did what Charles asked. Charles watched very closely how Erik's fingers moved and then relaxed. Erik could feel Charles' presence at the back of his mind, obversing, watching how his brain and body processed the movement.

_Again_, said Charles.

Erik felt a twinge of amusement. He did what he was told. He could sense deepening concentration from Charles' end, like Charles was tracking the way the gesture was produced, and tried to mimic it.

_Again,_ Charles asked. Erik had to stop and stare at him - they had made so much progress. Erik couldn't be sure, but it seemed like Charles' personality was showing slight hints of its existence. This kind stubborness, that's what Erik knew very well.

Erik didn't realize he had gotten lost to his thoughts, until Charles tugged him through the link, getting his attention. _Erik. Again._

Erik couldn't help but to let out a wry smile for that. He squeezed Charles' hand obediently.

Then, Charles' fingers twitched.

Erik held his breath. He gave another experimental squeeze, and waited. Charles' fingers moved again. Seconds passed, and then, Charles' fingers wrapped around Erik's.

Erik had to bite down not to shout out in relief. Charles' hold didn't falter. _That's right, Charles. That's your hand, and your body, _Erik said.

Charles looked up at him, and there was joy sparkling deep in his blue eyes. _Charles' hand. Not Erik's._

-Exactly," Erik said and nodded, and couldn't help but to smile a little. Erik shifted his weight a little and took a deep breath. -Now, try to let go."

Charles did.

-And now squeeze again."

Charles did.

Erik could only nod in satisfaction and encouragement. He was just about to tell Charles that this was exactly what he had meant, and repeat the gesture to make sure Charles got it. But for Erik's surprise, Charles seemed to catch on a lot faster now. Erik jumped in his place when Charles lifted his hand slowly off the bed and reached it towards Erik.

Erik stared at the hand like it was the biggest miracle he had ever seen, wide-eyed and probably looking like an idiot, as the hand hovered in the air.

Then Charles reached to grab Erik's sleeve, right under his shoulder._ Erik, _Charles said, and his usually so monotone mental voice sounded a little triumphant.

Erik could only nod. -Yes...Yes." he managed to mutter. He hadn't even recovered from the sudden control Charles had regained over his body when Charles' another hand lifted up from the bed and reached towards him too. Before Erik knew it, Charles took a grip on his shirt and let his fingers wrap around the material, faintly yanking him closer. Erik could only follow, completely stunned. Charles inspected the material closely, stretching his fingers for a while. Then he let go, but didn't put both of his arms back to the bed. Instead, he let go of Erik's shirt and grabbed Erik's hand instead, and pulled it towards himself. Then he held it in front of his face. Erik let him, surprised at how strong but gentle Charles' grip was at the same time. Charles eyed his hand between his own with the most care, tracing down the small lines and shapes.

_Erik. Erik's hand,_ Charles voice mumbled, like he was making sure he would remember it later.

Erik could only stare. Getting so much independent movement and talk from Charles was...encouraging. Erik felt a flash of annoyance at how authentically glad such small things made him. Erik could barely recognize himself as the same man he had just been in a few weeks back, and the thought was ugly and disturbing, so Erik pushed it away quickly. He didn't have time to ponder over his own emotions and actions. Because somehow, it was so easy to forget the anger and bitterness - usually so characteristic for him - when he watched Charles getting better all the time right in front of his eyes. This hospital room had suddenly become Erik's whole life for the time being, and he didn't bother to concentrate on anything outside of it. He felt...fine.

And Erik never felt fine. Not really.

But his restless thoughts were interrupted when Charles carefully poked at his hand, and started to bend his fingers. Erik felt ridiculous and childish when it started to tickle. He refused to give into that, and just waited patiently as Charles turned his hand around in the air, flexing the muscles and observing how everything worked.

Finally, Charles seemed to be satisfied. He let go, and turned to look expectantly at Erik. His eyes were full of joy and excitement; it was almost boy-ish. Erik bit down a smile again, and tilted his head. Charles looked a little puzzled, and then tilted his own head too.

Erik could only stare again. Charles had mimicked his movement flawlessly, clearly learning fast. Erik tilted his head to the other side experimentally, only to have Charles repeating the gesture. Now Erik couldn't help but to flash a smile, and for his surprise, Charles' face twitched. Not once before had he moved anything in his face beside his eyes, and Erik had to almost look away. Very slowly, Charles drew his lips into a faint, crooked smile. It wasn't really Charles' smile, a one Erik could recognize as his - since it was clearly an attempt to mimic - but it made Charles look so much more like himself that Erik couldn't help but to grin. Charles' smile grew also wider.

They stayed like that for a moment, just smiling like two reflections and looking at each other. But then, Charles broke the eye contact, and glanced towards his legs. Then he looked at Erik's legs, and finally turned expectantly back to Erik. Joy shone from his eyes, and suddenly Erik realized what Charles wanted him to do. He had learnt to use his whole body again - everything except the legs.

Erik felt a grim, dirty guilt stab at him in his chest, and his smile died on his lips. A shadow washed over him and Erik had to turn away for a moment. It was like cold water had been splashed at his face, making him shiver. It was truly remarkable how painful this felt like, how there was suddenly a lump in his throst. He didn't want to kill that joy from Charles' eyes. Erik cursed in his mind, cursed endlessly, because he could remember Cuba too well.

_Erik. Erik first, _Charles said.

Erik turned to Charles again, face grim. _Charles...I'm sorry, but...You can't walk. _

Charles radiated confusion. Even his face twisted slightly, now that he could control it again. _Erik. Erik can._

And as an example, Erik suddenly felt his own leg move and then he had stepped a little forward - without moving a muscle himself. It was completely Charles' work, trying to make him understand. And Erik _did_ understand.

-Yes, Charles,_ I_ can walk, but you can't. There was..an accident long ago," he explained quietly, trying to ignore the sharp guilt just under his skin.

Charles' smile faded. He processed the information. There was a sudden wave of sadness from Charles' end, as he looked at his own, unmoving legs under the white hospital blanket.

_No...no walk?_

Erik shook his head, almost too sharply. _No...no walking for you._

Charles looked at him, a bit urgent. The crushed hope in his face made Erik want to escape from the room._ Why? Why Erik walks and Charles doesn't?_

Erik's head was filled with memories from all those years ago, when Banshee and Angel and everyone else had still been innocent and alive...And Charles with his never-ending enthusiasm, his patience...And the moment it all had went to hell in Cuba. The way Erik had pulled the bullet out of his spine. Erik shoved the memories away, almost violently, like he had always done. He had never really made peace with what had happened, had never really found out what he really felt about everything. It had been so much easier to be angry and hurt, to drown himself in work and find meaning in revenge, all those years afterwards. It had been easier to be angry at Charles, to blame him for being so frustratingly naive. It had been simper for Erik to see himself as the victim, the martyr, and paint everything in black and white.

Charles tugged their link. _Erik? Why Erik walks and Charles doesn't?_ , he repeated, growing more and more mournful.

The lump in Erik's throat grew bigger. -Because...because you lost your ability to walk long ago. It was an accident. A regrettable accident."

Charles slumped a little in the bed._ Erik can make Charles walk? _he tried, hopefully.

Erik felt desperate anger rising in him, but it was directed at himself. -No, I can't make you walk ever again. I'm...I'm sorry."

_Can...can Erik move Charles?_

That was something Erik hadn't expected. He raised an eyebrow and some of his guilt eased. _Well..yes? I can carry you if I need to._ _Or then you can move yourself in a chair that has wheels._

Charles' brows wrinkled. Erik cursed, and realized that he was being too abstract - the idea of a wheelchair seemed a bit too complicated. _Yes, I can move you if I need to._

Instantly, Charles smiled again. _Erik moves Charles,_ he stated, like it was the answer to everything. Erik just blankly nodded as an agreement. He wanted so badly to elaborate this conversation, but just knew that it wasn't the time for that now. Erik startled when he saw a sudden flash of an image of...himself moving himself? _Erik moves Charles_, Charles repeated, and then the image faded. Erik stared at him, puzzled. Charles had clearly tried to give him a visualized example through the image, but the persons it in looked wrong - they both looked like Erik. Then it clicked - Erik remembered Charles still couldn't remember what his own face looked like, or what his voice sounded like.

Erik turned determinedly around, and searched the walls. He walked further and fetched a small mirror from the furthest wall, and brought in front of Charles.

-No, Charles, you don't look like me. You look like this," Erik said, and offered the mirror to Charles. Charles took it warily, and turned it towards himself. When his reflection came to view, Charles gasped. _Charles is not Erik_, he whispered, and this time the statement sounded final - like he had fully understood its meaning.

Erik could feel a faint rush of recognizition from Charles' end of the link. Charles stared at his own face for a long time. But just in a few seconds, something changed. Erik could feel something darkening, waking, and suddenly there was a tearing pain in his head. Erik screamed out as he could suddenly see a flash of scalpel in the middle of the air, held by a lab-coated faceless person. There was enormous pain everywhere in his body - needles, needles, endless stream of needles and blood and his brain burning.

The mirror crashed to the ground and into millions of pieces. Erik couldn't help but to scream, and lifted his hands against his head. These weren't his memories, but Charles'. Erik could recognize that horrible room anywhere.

_Charles! Charles! Stop, it's just a memory. Stop. You're safe!_

But the searing pain continued, and Erik saw more flashes, of syringes being emptied to veins, of unknown people staring down at him. Then he saw a flash of Hank roaring as a hot blade was drawn across his blue chest, and the way Charles had felt every tear and slash like the pain had been inflicted on him.

-Charles! Stop it!" Erik shouted, and could barely see anything. -CHARLES! Stop it! Make it stop! They're just memories!"

The pain just intensified. Erik felt his knees starting to shake, and like his head was about to crack in two. Erik squeezed his eyes shut. -CHARLES! Listen to me! You're safe now! Those people will never harm you again!"

Erik had to scream aloud, the pain was so unbearable. Charles was lost in the horrible replay of chaotic memories, and Erik could feel each and every one of them like it was happening just now. Erik tried to think fast - talking didn't help. Desperately, he remembered Charles sending him an image just a moment ago, and quickly tried to form some of his own.

He tried to throw Charles a memory of the scene just before - of them both in the hospital room, smiling - to calm Charles down. But the memory wasn't strong enough, it got devoured by Charles' pain.

Erik breathed hard, and tried to find the strongest memories that he had. He saw images of his own mother, of Shaw, of Pentagon...Raven. But he refused to use them, because they weren't happy memories. He needed something stronger. Erik digged deeper, pulled harder, and opened a locked box inside his own head - a corner filled with memories of Charles. Charles smiling. Charles laughing. Charles running in his stupid grey hoodie. Charles kissing Raven's forehead. Charles smiling drunkedly at Erik at a bar in one of their roadtrips. Charles leaning close to Erik, his breath smelling like tea and menthol. Charles holding a gun against Erik's head. Charles moving a chess piece. Charles laughing. Charles' forehead wrinkling. Charles stumbling on a rocky path, and taking support from Erik's shoulder. Charles smiling, smiling, always smiling.

Then finally, Erik found the strongest memory, the most brightest - Charles' gentle face, his lips saying: _"There's so much more to you than you know, not just pain and anger. There's good in you too, and you can harness all that."_

Erik clung onto the memory, and tried throwing it at Charles through their link as hard as he could. The pain continued, but dulled for a moment. Erik imagined throwing the memory at Charles again, and again, and Erik repeated it so many times that he was certain his brain would snap any time now. Erik tried to ignore the terrifying images Charles was seeing, and focused on his own. He cherished the brightest memory, made it stronger by replaying it over and over again.

And then, like a lightning from the clear sky, the pain stopped as abruptly as it had started.

Erik gasped for air and fell to his knees, as his vision cleared, and suddenly he was back at the hospital room, breathing hard. Second passed. It took a long moment before he managed to stumble back up, taking support from Charles' bed. Worried, Erik searched Charles' face. The horrors were still plastered on Charles' face, they echoed their cruel content in his eyes. But there was also something else.

Erik felt like they were standing on a wire of the circus. A very unstable wire. Any careless nudge could send them falling back into the Chimera memories, and Erik was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to dig them out this time. Charles was shaking - it was clear that he was barely holding on. They were at a crossroads - if Erik lost Charles now, he would probably lose Charles forever and Charles would drag him down with him. Erik would drown, just like Frost had said he would. They would both end up like vegetables.

Erik took a careful, calming breath.

-Charles," he whispered warily. Charles' blue eyes were full of agony, of barely contained hurt and torture. -Charles, it's alright. You're safe. I'm here, and...Those people will never lay a finger on you again. You're safe with me, I promise. No harm will come to you."

Charles just stared back. Erik could sense him faltering.

-Look, Charles..." Erik said, trying to hide his increasing panic, -you saw that memory, right? My memory? The one where there is this big green field, and blue sky, and a big building close by? That's you and me, that's Erik and Charles. Hold on to that. Just hold on."

Charles looked pained, and he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking badly. Erik tried throwing the memory at Charles one more time. As a panicked gesture, he took a grip of Charles' wrist and squeezed.

-Just focus on the memory," Erik said, almost pleading. Charles slumped back to the bed, eyes still closed. Erik leant closer, reaching for Charles' cheek and turning his face towards himself. -Don't lose it now, Charles. Stay with me."

Something in those words made Charles open his eyes again, and turn them to Erik. _Stay, _he repeated slowly.

_Yes, stay, Charles. Stay._

Finally, Erik could feel the danger getting further and further away. Charles' end of the link concentrated on Erik's memory, and turned it around, like a precious artifact. Slowly, the Chimera memories became blurried, distant, and Erik could feel Charles' presence getting stronger once again. _Thank God. Thank God._

Charles calmed down, bit by bit. Erik let out a breath of relief, brushing sweat from his forehead. He noticed his nose had started bleeding, and Erik had to take some paper and hold it in front of his nose for a while. Some nurses also came to check them, since they had heard some of the noise. Erik explained something that didn't sound very believable, but finally, after a long talk, the dissatisfied and grumpy nurses left again.

Long time had passed. Erik's nose stopped bleeding. Charles was still observing the memory, completely careless about the nurses. He had been quiet for a long time.

-Charles?" Erik called.

_Erik,_ Charles replied, in Erik's voice as always. Then Erik sensed hesitation from Charles - but it was fortunately just soft, harmless. Then Charles started to talk again: _Charles...Charles doesn't..._

Erik raised an eyebrow. Charles did too. _Charles doesn't...I doesn't...I don't sound like that, _he said, uncertain, and his mental voice sounded less monotone and somehow...slightly less like Erik's.

Erik had already gotten so used to Charles using his voice that it felt odd that Charles noticed anything strange in it at all. Also, Erik felt utterly relieved that the danger had passed and something so trivial had caught Charles' attention. And most of all...Charles had referred properly to himself for the first time.

_No, Charles, you don't sound like me. You have your own voice_, Erik answered.

Silence. Charles eyed him curiously. _Charles and Erik don't sound the same, _he said, watching for Erik's reaction. _W...we don't sound the same._

Erik flashed a victorious smile and nodded. -You're right," he said aloud.

Charles went back to Erik's memory, listening to his own voice in it. Over and over again. He listened for the nyances, the pitch of it. Erik was most fascinated by this. He waited, and could feel himself relaxing more every minute. He watched Charles' work, how detailed it was.

_I sound different,_ Charles finally said, and now his telepathic voice sounded so eerily close to his own that Erik startled. Erik had to clutch the edge of the bed harder. Charles' new, own voice wasn't perfect, not even nearly, and it was still too monotonic, not to mention the similarities with Erik's own voice - but it still was unmistakably Charles' now.

_You sound better like that. More like you,_ Erik said, trying to ignore the warmth he could feel in his chest.

Charles smiled, and Erik's joy deepened just by seeing it. _Charles is not Erik. I remember, _Charles said. Then he sent a flash of amusement towards Erik through their link, and Erik was left stunned once again. Had that...had that been an attempt of a private joke?

When Charles' smile deepened, Erik got his answer.


	10. Chapter 10

The doctors and nurses were astonished by the quick process Charles had suddenly made. The fact that he clealy was awake and aware, and that he could move himself normally - despite his reflexes being a little slow - looked like a medical miracle to their eyes.

No matter how glad Erik was about Charles' improved state, his fears started to nag at the back of his head again.

It had been too quiet and safe for too long. Erik knew that the Chimera would hunt them down - and he feared that they were on their trail. They probably thought that Charles had too much important information stored in his brain, and that Erik had to be eliminated simply because of how dangerous he was. He had, after all, squashed their headquarters like it was made of paper.

Erik was under no illusion about the situation.

But still, he hesitated - Charles was getting better all the time, but he was still far from alright. He got tired easily, and while his sentences and conversations with Erik got more complex and longer, there wasn't any new content in them. And Charles had never said a word aloud. He just talked to Erik through their link with his now more personalized voice, and kept accidentally projecting images and flashes to the nurses. But usually Charles didn't talk unless Erik talked to him, and Erik couldn't help but to worry.

He still hadn't gotten any word from Frost or Leap. Erik feared that they hadn't received the messages at all - or that the mutants were too afraid to stick their necks out.

Erik's paranoia got worse - he only trusted the people in the hospital that he had seen countless times before. His badly slept nights and exhaustion didn't help either.

Erik got more protective of Charles - even frighteningly so. Erik hadn't had any time to ponder on this new progress. He didn't know what he felt or why - only that he saw red only when he even thought of Chimera or anyone else getting their hands on Charles. Hank was dead, and Erik didn't know who else too. But it seemed that Charles was mostly alone now - his school had been empty, and Hank had been the only one taking care of him as far as Erik knew. Who would make sure Charles would be safe if Erik didn't? Charles needed time to heal, to make sense of his own tortured head. Erik couldn't even consider leaving Charles alone now - Charles was vulnerable. And, as much as Erik hated to admit it - still dangerous, if the Chimera had any say in it. Both Erik and Chimera had gotten a very strong reminder of just how destructive Charles' powers could be, if used the wrong way.

So no - there just wasn't a scenario where Erik could leave Charles anytime soon. And more disturbingly, he found that he had no desire to do so. Erik knew it wasn't right, that the whole situation was bizarre at its best - but that's what it was for now. Erik told himself that he would have stepped up and protected any mutant like this, not just Charles - Erik assured himself that it could have been anyone he had found back in Chimera's labs._ Liar_, Erik's own mind responded to him.

Erik waved that thought away. He had promised that the Chimera would never lay a hand on Charles again - and he would keep that promise._ Over my dead body, you bastards._

* * *

Days seemed too long - Erik kept constantly watching over his shoulder. His paranoia never left him alone. Erik itched to leave, but the doctors had told him that Charles should be here at least for another month.

Erik felt more and more restless.

There were more inquiries about "Charles' accident".

Erik lied, manipulated and played dumb to keep the situation stable.

But finally, even Charles noticed something was wrong. Erik could tell just how much by the way Charles started a conversation on his own. _Erik?_

_Yes?_

Erik turned away from the window and looked at Charles. Charles tilted his head. _You...you are not feeling right. _

Charles was getting more and more perceptive every day - and could make a difference between their emotions and bodies increasingly better, too. Erik sighed. _No, I'm not. _There was no use of lying while having a telepath inside your head, no matter how broken one. Charles sent a nudge of worry._ Why?_

Erik bit his teeth, glancing at the door out of a habit._ Because I think we should leave soon._

Charles stiffened._ To leave? Where?_

Erik shrugged, and planned his reply carefully, so he wouldn't trigger anything._ To a nicer place. _

Charles didn't answer, but searched his face with his too blue eyes. Erik stepped towards the door. _Actually, we need something before we go. They should have that in here. It's the chair I once mentioned about. _

_The one with wheels?_

_Yes, that one, _Erik agreed and reached for the door knob. -I will come back soon. You can talk to me while I'm gone if you like," Erik said. And Charles could do that; Erik knew for sure. Charles could reach him from any part of the hospital. This was something Erik had noticed during his short times spent in the cafeteria or somewhere else. Charles had no problems to communicate with him through their link. It was somehow comforting, and...impressive.

-I'll be right back," Erik said and opened the door. He stepped into the rushed corridor, wondering where he could snatch a wheelchair from. He started walking towards the storage rooms situated near the cafeteria, since they were his best guess. But suddenly, Erik startled - he recognized a figure in the corridor. He froze in the middle of his step, as Leap turned towards him. It took three short seconds from Erik to see from Leap's face that something was very, very wrong. Leap looked panicked, and he started to run towards Erik.

-Magneto! Magneto!," the teleporter shouted, and Erik didn't almost recognize his other name anymore. And he had no time to react, because his heart jumped into his throat and he turned on his heels, panic and adrenaline kicking in. _Charles!_ Just when Erik got his feet moving, he could sense fear from Charles' end. Fear and confusion. But then the fear increased, and Erik's head was quickly filled with white noise, so blinding and painful that he almost keeled over, but kept moving, because_ no no, for God's sakes._ _Charles!_

Erik ran as fast as he could, shoving people violently from his way, Leap running after him.

When Erik reached the familiar door, he could already see five more men walking towards him from the other end of the corridor, all radiating danger and hiding weapons. Erik would have recognized that uniform anywhere - he had seen it on the people he had killed back in Chimara's headquarters. Erik's stomach dropped as he all but tore the door open, and crashed inside.

There were two dark figures in the room, one right next to Charles and grabbing him harshly, one loading his gun.

-No! NO!," Erik roared, and all of the metal objects in the room were flown to the ceiling as panicked response, so quick that some of them went through. But to his horror, Erik saw that the two attackers barely even flinched. _Plastic. They've used plastic,_ Erik thought in panic. He let out an angry yell and senselessly ran towards the figures, so angry that he could have torn their heads off with his bare hands. The other one of them pulled Charles violently by his arm, and Charles fell to the floor, his unmoving legs falling uselessly after him. The intravenous needle got torn away too, drawing instantly blood and breaking the skin.

Erik could feel Charles panicking through their link, as the old memories were once again dangerously close to resurface. Then Erik reached the man dragging Charles, and he all but grabbed the man's face, pushed his fingernails into the man's skin and pierced one eye, and threw the screaming man to the wall as hard as he could. Erik reached for anything made of metal that he could aim at the man, but was interrupted by the other man coming at him. Erik threw a punch, that only partly hit its target, and was instantly drawn to a kicking, punching mess of a fight with the other man. Erik gathered instinctively the small metal pieces he could with his power from the room - but unfortunately there were only things like spoons, paper clips and pens, but it didn't stop Erik- he let them fly hard towards his opponent and pierce the man's back and neck. The spoon came partly through the man's neck, and he growled in pain. Erik felt only pleasure as he watched the man fall backwards and starting to choke on his own blood, eyes wide and letting out awful quacking. Erik was just about to turn around when something hit him hard at the back of his head. Erik fell, yelping in surprise and pain, and for a moment, his vision blurred into blackness.

Time seemed to slow down.

His ears rang. Everything sounded far away, mumbled, like he wasn't really there.

Erik fought back, tried to regain control of his limbs and body, but could only stare as the dark, foggy figure before him grabbed him from his shirt, lifted a gun and aimed it at Erik's head.

Erik knew that he had only milliseconds to live. That was all he had time to realize - that he would die now.

But the bullet, whatever it was made from, never came.

Instead, Erik blinked back to see the man's hands starting to shake, his expression changing to a terrified one - blood still spilling from his injured, probably blind eye - and then slowly, he turned the gun towards his own head.

Erik didn't understand, he just stared for a moment, but then his brain cleared. _Charles._

Erik's eyes searched him. Charles was looking at the gunman with a shocking amount of clarity and anger from the floor. Erik could sense Charles' fear, confusion and rage through their link. _DonthurtErikDonthurtStopStopStopIsaidSTOP_

Erik stumbled unsteadily to his feet, and hurried towards Charles. He dropped to his knees beside him, but Charles didn't take his eyes off the gunman. He radiated fear and confusion._ He wants to hurt you._

Erik took shuddering breaths. _Yes, Charles, he wants me dead._

Charles turned to look at Erik. The moment seemed to slow down. Charles seemed to consider what had just been told to him. _Hurt you? No._ _He can't. _

Without even blinking or ever breaking their eye contact, Charles kept his eyes on Erik's as a gunshot filled the room. Erik yelped in surprise, and horror-mixed awe filled him.

_He can not hurt you,_ Charles stated, with finality.

Erik nodded, eyes wide, staring at Charles who hadn't even flinched while killing a man. _No, not anymore._ _T-thank you, Charles. _

Charles didn't seem to understand what he had just done. Erik searched for any malice from his face, but found none.

But then Erik got sucked back to the situation as he heard running footsteps from the corridor. Panic took over again, and Erik glanced hurriedly at the door.

-Leap! Leap!" Erik shouted. The damn teleporter had been right there after him - where was he now? _Fuck._  
Erik pulled the door shut with his power - it would slow down the Chimera men for a few seconds at least to get through it. But there was no other way out. They were trapped - the room was too high in the hospital, so the window was no use. They had no weapons, and the metal objects in the room were too small and dull to make any difference. Erik was no match to their plastic guns or whatever they were made of, and the helplessness made his rage lit up in flames. There were too many of them. Even if he stole the guns from the two dead men lying on the floor, he couldn't fight over five men all by himself while protecting Charles. Not to mention Charles wouldn't be able to hide or run, or move anywhere without Erik. And Erik couldn't trust in Charles' shaky powers right now. Erik tried to think fast, but couldn't figure out anything that could work.

-Leap!" he yelled once again, this time desperately.

The first bang landed on the door. Erik winced and turned towards Charles. -We need to get out. We need to get out now." Erik said with a tight voice.

Charles just looked back at him, uncertain. There was a small wound on his temple, a trickle of blood pouring down to Charles' cheek. But Erik ignored it, there was no time. He could feel Charles' mind swaying towards the Chimera memories again, the haunted voices and images curling their black fingers just at the edge of their melded minds. The attack had triggered all of them again, pulling them closer with alarming speed.

_Charles, no. Focus on me. _

Erik could feel Charles' defences thinning, and his eyelids drooped. Erik shook him. -No, Charles! Fight back!

_Don't fall into it. Stay with me._

Erik could feel Charles starting to slip away, to drown. Erik could feel the first stab of feverish pain in his head. It would be a matter of seconds before they'd both fall into the abyss. Erik took Charles' face into his hands. -Charles. Look at me. Open your eyes." he said frantically. Charles took a squeaky breath. Erik shook him desperately. -_Look at me!_"

Charles' eyes snapped open, partly from the surprise of hearing Erik shouting at him for the first time. But Erik instantly locked his eyes with Charles, demanding his attention. Their faces were barely inches apart. -Look at me. They're just memories. Don't let them control you. I'm right here. This is real, not those horrible things," Erik hissed.

Charles looked pained, lost.

Erik's heart thundered in his own ears. His grip got tighter. -I'm right here. I'm right here Charles, with you. I'm real, not the memories."

_You are real_, Charles repeated, weakly.

-Yes, yes! Hold on to me. Don't give in. We need to leave," Erik said, painfully aware of their time running out. He bit his lip so hard it hurt. -Put your arm around my neck," he said hastily. Charles obeyed.

Erik wrapped his arm around Charles' knees and middle, and hoisted him up. They needed to get into cover. Anything would do. Erik's frantic eyes scanned the room. He was just about to turn around, when Leap suddenly popped right next to him. -Time to go," the young teleporter said with a pale face as he threw his arms forward and grabbed Erik's shoulder and Charles' side.

Then, in a blink, they were gone - just before the gunshots started to rain through the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Erik gasped as disorientation hit him like a wave, and it took a moment before he managed to remember who and where he was.

Except that he didn't know _where_ he was. The world came back to him in a dizzying blurr.

He blinked and took in his surroundings, searching any sign of danger, still panting heavily, and found only unmoving furniture. _Nothing. There is nothing here, _he thought gratefully. Once the immediate feeling of danger was removed, Erik had time to breathe and relax his stiff posture, even if the adrenaline was still making him edgy. He stood up a little straighter, adjusting Charles in his arms a little. Leap grinned and stepped further into the room they had just arrived in.

-Tadaa, here it is, Magneto." he said proudly. It took moment from Erik to realize Leap was talking to him. _Magneto._ It sounded odd. Unfamiliar.

Leap made a swirl on his heels - he was so young, so full of energy. Erik took another, better look on the room. It looked like a small, cozy house that had a warm fireplace in the corner and lots of blankets thrown over sofas and chairs. There was a large bed on the side of the big room, and Erik spotted doors that probably lead outside, into the bathroom and in another bedroom.

-What is this place?" Erik said, suspiciously. He was still too wary to put Charles down - in case someone had somehow been able to follow them, or there was an intruder in the house.

Leap shrugged. Colour was starting to come back to his face. -I don't know. Something Emma arranged. It's a small cabin, there's a fireplace and stuff. And lots of food, you could probably stay here for three years and feed an army with it."

Erik still wasn't satisfied. -Yes, but _where_ are we?" he asked, this time a bit less patient. Leap chuckled. -I don't know, that's the best part! Emma sent me here, and erased the name and place from my mind. She said that if I ever got caught, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone where we are right now, even if I can teleport here as easily I just did," he explained.

_Clever_, Erik gave Frost that. Erik hated that he had had to ask for help from Frost and Leap, but there really hadn't been any other option. He was very well aware that without the teleporter, both him and Charles would be as good as dead.

-Did she say anything else?" Erik said, eyeing Leap and his careless pacing around the room. The young teleporter snatched an apple from the table and took a bite.

-Yeah, yeah she did. Wait a minute", Leap said and chewed, mouth full of apple. Erik raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. What was the kid? Sixteen? -Rather tricky situation you had back there," Leap said in conversational tone. He clearly tried to hide how frightened he had been back at the hospital, and even if Erik saw right through it, he didn't say anything.  
Leap teleported to the sofa in a puff, still eating his apple. Something about him reminded Erik of Pietro - or Quicksilver, or whatever he wanted to be called. They both had the boyish enthusiasm in them.

Erik watched Leap eating his apple for a while, until his patience ran out. -Leap! Do you...do you have any idea how dangerous the situation just was? I'm really asking. Do you?"

The teleporter rolled his eyes. -Well, yeah, the gun guys came after us. But they didn't hurt any of us," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Erik just stared him for a while, breathing through his nose. He tilted his head. -Are you really that...stupid? Those Chimera people - they were following _you_. Or do you think it was a coincidence they just happened to come into the building the same time as you?"

Leap froze. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again.

Erik shook his head furiously. -Did you _walk_ into the building, you imbecile?"

Leap spread his arms. -_Of course_ I did, Magneto. I couldn't just appear from thin air. I've done that a bit too much lately, and while it's fun scaring people, you said it yourself that we shouldn't test our luck with getting caught and drawing too much attention. So yeah, I did walk into the hospital."

Erik waited for Leap's brain caught up with the situation. There was a long silence. Erik let out a frustrated groan. -They followed you in there, idiot! They had been searching for me and Charles for weeks, and had caught our trail. But you were the one who lead them in there. You should have just teleported in and out!"

Leap crossed his arms. He looked like a kicked puppy. -Well, _excuse me_, Magneto. I just saved our lives, doesn't that count for anything? And I risked my own life for you and him - whoever he is - and got you both out," Leap said, defensively, but still looked hurt and uncertain.

Erik was just about to snap at him again, when he was interrupted by Charles tugging their link and sending a wave of calmness towards him. Erik glanced down at him. How characteristic of Charles to be kind and patient towards young mutants - even if Leap's mistake could have cost lives? Charles looked up to him, but didn't say anything. Erik breathed out and calmed himself. He tried to get his anger into control. He knew it was no use shouting at Leap - and the kid was right - he _had_ saved them, despite walking into a hospital like a total fool. The Chimera hitmen had probably been ordered to wait for something like this, so they could eliminate more of the mutants in one go. Cold and systematic, like everything the organization did.

Erik tried to concentrate. -Alright..." he mumbled and took another calming breath. -Now. You said Frost arranged all of this. What did she say?"

Leap continued chewing his apple.

-Leap. What the hell did Frost say?" Erik said.

The young teleporter rolled his eyes. -Dude, chill. I was getting into that," he said, swallowing several times. He glanced at Charles. -Why are you carrying him around like a girl?" he asked from Erik, looking confused.

Erik felt a flash of anger, triggered by his own guilt, recent life-threatening situation and lack of patience. -Because he's crippled, you idiot!" Erik hissed, and this time Leap's face changed. He made a face and looked apologetic. -Sorry about that, I didn't know," he said to Charles, but Charles - unsurprisingly - didn't reply. Leap's brows furrowed. -Is he mute too?"

Once again, Erik really started to get angrier every second, just when he had been about to calm down. -For the time being, yes!," Erik roared and Leap startled and teleported to the back of the room, lifting his hand to the air as a peace offering. -Not that it's any of your business," Erik added. He realized that he was being too edgy, but couldn't help it. -Now, _can you please_ shut the hell up and tell me what Frost said?"

Leap nodded overdramatically and lowered his hands. -Alright, Magneto. Just...get it together, man. But yeah, Emma...She, she uh...She told me that she had bought this cabin with some professor's money."

Erik thought about that. _Professor's?_ Erik chuckled bitterly. Of course - Frost had just mindcontrolled some of the Xavier money to herself from a bank or something and bought a cabin with it. He should have guessed. Not that it really mattered - Charles probably had so much money that he could buy Canada if he liked. And even so, Charles had never really cared about wealth.

-I think she said something about wiping some memories and things like that. So nobody should be able to trace this down to Emma or the Brotherhood, or anyone of us," Leap explained. Erik nodded approvingly. At least Frost seemed to know what she was doing.

Leap threw his leg up and let it swing in the empty air. -There was some stuff she had gathered from some mansion or school or some big ass building, and sent it here. It's in the other room. And then she said that she had arranged some...nurses or stuff like that to come by. She said she had done some of her telepathy stuff on them, and that they wouldn't be able to remember any of the visits. They won't talk, either. Like literally - they won't talk at all. So I think they and your crippled friend will get along just fine," Leap said, chuckling at his own joke but when Erik's eyes flashed dangerously, he quickly got serious again.  
-Right...uh...One more thing. Emma said that she wants to drop by after some time, and that I can bring her here," Leap explained, his dreamy smile explaining the reason why he seemed to be looking forward to do that. Erik rolled his eyes.

-Why does she want to come here?" Erik asked.

Leap shrugged. -I don't know. Beats me. But she said that it won't be anytime soon, because it'd be too dangerous. And it seemed really important to her that this whole place is like in the middle of nowhere, there aren't any people nearby. It takes hours to drive here from the nearest city."

Erik tilted his head in suspicion. -Why would it be too dangerous for her to come here?" he asked. Leap looked suddenly awkward, and he glanced at Charles quickly. -I...uh...not sure..."

-Leap," Erik said demandingly. There was a heavy silence in the room, as Leap shifted around nervously.

-Well, Emma...Emma hinted that he might be dangerous," Leap said and pointed at Charles. The young teleporter looked suddenly a bit shaken. -Emma is a bit scared of him, from all I know. Not that I'm judging you Magneto, for hooking up with him or anything, but..."

-Shut up," Erik said in a clipped tone. He was thinking fast. Dangerous? Frost was _scared_ of how dangerous Charles was? That cocky telepath wasn't eager to admit anything like this easily, so it must had been very clear if even Leap had noticed it from her. Erik could only guess the reason. Of course Charles was still recovering, and his Chimera memories could literally kill if they got out of hand, but...Frost wasn't someone to scare easily. Why the isolation? Why the scared absence? And distance?

Erik felt a hint of restlessness._ No. This is Charles we're talking about. He can control himself, and his powers are obviously weak right now. Otherwise he would have caused a lot more trouble at the hospital already. He's not a danger to anyone but himself. _

_...and maybe to me, _a small voice reminded Erik, but he refused to believe it. Charles wouldn't hurt him knowingly. Erik was certain of it. Charles had just saved his life by making a man commit suicide, after all.

Erik nodded. -Alright," he said quietly. Leap stared at him, expectantly, uncertain what would happen next. Erik struggled, because he know a thank you was in order, but Erik found it incredibly hard to thank anyone. It had always been like this, same with apologizing. He hated to be wrong, and he hated to owe favours or gratitude to anyone.

-You, uh...You did a good job here," Erik managed, and tried to smile, but it came out fake and probably slightly predatory. Leap looked uncomfortable. -Yeah, yeah, whatever. My pleasure and all, Magneto. You're the man. I'm just...uh...gonna bail now, okay?"

Erik nodded, relieved. -Yes, you're free to le..." _Puff._ Then Leap was gone.

* * *

Erik was only glad to be left alone. He didn't spare another thought for Leap. Instead, Erik glanced at the large bed on the corner of the room, and walked towards it.

-Alright, Charles, we're going to stay here for a while now. It will be safe. Just you and me, okay?" he said aloud as he reached the bed. -I'm going to put you down now," Erik explained and leant forward to place Charles on top of the blankets. Erik quickly propped him up with pillows, so he was almost in a sitting position. Erik moved Charles' unmoving legs to a better position, even if it felt intruding to touch them. The thought was naturally ridiculous - Charles wouldn't be able to feel his legs anyway, and it wasn't like Erik hadn't touched him all the time during their stay in the hospital.

Erik shook the thoughts off.

Charles had been quiet a long time. Erik eyed him, instantly spotting the small trickle of blood on Charles' face. Erik had to bite his lip for the anger that woke in him. One of these days, he was going to burn the Chimera to the ground. They had had it coming; Erik would have gone after them sooner or later. But now, it had also gotten personal. _Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..._

-Is that hurting?," Erik asked quietly, and leant a bit closer to observe Charles' wound. It wasn't deep, but it had bled for awhile. One of the assasins had probably hit Charles with the back of a gun. Erik's barely contained rage bubbled right under his skin for the thought.

Charles didn't answer. For a moment, Erik feared that the attack had done more damage than he had thought - what if Charles had lost his ability to talk again, even if telepathically?

_Charles, please answer me._

Charles blinked. He lifted his eyes to Erik's. He looked tired and pale. There was a silence, and then Erik felt his own hand suddenly moving on its own accord. It lifted up next to Charles' wound, and hovered right above it. Erik could only watch like an outsider as once again Charles was moving his limbs without batting an eyelid or struggling at all. _Hurts here. A little, _came Charles' voice, finally.

Then Erik felt his own hand lower a little, and it was left hovering above the blood stain on Charles' cheek. _But not here. _

Then Charles let go, and Erik's hand almost hit the bed covers limply, until he caught the control back in mid-air and drew it back. _Alright. We'll fix it,_ Erik replied.

He should have been more freaked of Charles randomly taking the control of his body, but Erik didn't even spare a thought to it. Charles had simply answered his question by showing him, and that's that. Erik got up and started to search for any medical supplies in the house. He opened drawers and closets, but everything was just filled with either food or blankets. Then Erik remembered Leap saying something about the things Frost had gathered from the Xavier mansion. Erik walked to the other room, and almost stumbled to three big bags lying on the ground. He knelt to open them.

There was lots of Charles' clothes, journals, books and papers full of Charles' thin and delicate handwriting. Erik rummaged through to find a small box with a red cross on it, but his eyes caught a vision of small black box. Curiosity got the best of him, and Erik lifted it to his hand and opened it. It revealed four syringes full of some unknown liquid, and also something that looked a bit like a belt. Erik stared at for a moment, unable to understand what he was holding. Why would Charles have something like this? They had be to some kind of drugs, or medicine...Or then they could be Hank's experiments.

Then it clicked. Suddenly Erik could see in his memories Charles turning towards him, angry and soaking wet, and throwing a punch back in the Pentagon. Then Erik could remember seeing needle marks on Charles' skin back at their private plane, and their tensed conversation.

Erik had asked: _"How did you lose them?"_  
There had been a dangerous flash in Charles' eyes._ "The treatment for my spine effects my DNA. "_  
Erik could remember his own scorning face and voice. _"You sacrificed your powers so you can walk? "_  
Charles had been so bitter and defensive. _"I sacrificed my powers so I can sleep! What do you know of it?"_

Erik stopped himself from remembering it too well, suddenly bothered by the ugly tension and unresolved hatred in his memory. That hadn't been so long ago. So much had already changed. Erik hated remembering Charles like that - so bitter, so betrayed. Erik didn't want him to look and sound like that ever again. Erik loathed the possibility that they would lose this, whatever he had with Charles right now, because it would mean he'd lose his best friend for the second time.

The thought surprised him. Best friend?

Since when he had thought of Charles as his best friend?

Erik squeezed his eyes shut. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he suddenly so protective of Charles and completely wrapped around him? Why couldn't Erik remember what being Magneto meant, why hadn't it felt the same to order Leap around? Couldn't he remember how far Charles' views were from his own, how childish his strategies were? Couldn't he remember the fact that Charles had turned his back on Erik, and to all of the mutants, for over ten years? Erik wass suddenly shaken that he couldn't bring himself care more about the Brotherhood's fate.

Erik pushed his clenched fist against his temple for a moment. He hadn't asked any of this. It had been easier being Magneto, hell bent on revenge and fueled only by anger. Indifferent and cold. Effective. He had no idea why he was suddenly feeling so many mixed things, or how he could get rid of them. Nothing was simple anymore. It barely made any sense.

_Pull yourself together._ _This is stupid._

Erik forced himself to obey his own command. Slowly, he managed to push his emotions and disturbing thoughts away. That's what he always did with them, after all - ignorance and suffocation.

Then he concentrated on the issue at hand. The syringes in his hand had to be what Hank had created to make Charles walk again. And to turn off his powers.

Erik felt both disgusted and curious. They shouldn't have to use these, not any of the mutants. Their powers were a gift.

But Erik could very well remember Charles' sad face back in the hospital. _No walk? - No, no walking for you._

Yet Erik couldn't accept it. This rejection of powers, this...hiding...had always been the core of his distance with Charles. Charles wanted to be like humans, to conform and integrate. To leave peacefully side by side. And Erik just didn't see that happening. He could only judge Charles for ever wanting this.

Tired, Erik closed the black box and let it drop back to the bag. Instead, he took the medical supplies and left the room.

* * *

Erik cleaned the wound on Charles' forehead and the torn skin on his arm, left by the intravenous needle. Then Erik checked himself for any bigger injuries. There were some bruises, and a big bump at the back of his head, but nothing that wouldn't heal soon. Erik made them food, while Charles was obviously tired and was quiet most of the time.

The exhaustion from their fight earlier clearly took its toll from the both of them. But all and all, Erik believed that they were remotely safe. His sleep deprivation that had lasted way too long started to throw reminders of its existence. After a few hours, Erik felt like he was dead on his feet. Charles had already fallen asleep, a blanket pulled over him, and his long hair messily sprawled over a pillow.

Erik dragged his feet to the extra room he had found the luggage in, but opened it only to find that it didn't have any bed. Erik could only stare sluggishly, with dull surprise. He turned slowly around on his heels. The sofa looked way too narrow and small for him, and Erik knew he would wake up with all kinds of aches if he slept there.

Erik's eyes slided back to Charles, and the ridiculously large bed. Charles even managed to look small while curled on it.

At first, Erik rejected the idea as stupid and awkward. But the more he stared at the bed, the more comfortable and fitting it looked. _Oh, to the hell with this._ It wasn't like he hadn't crossed all kinds of boundaries with Charles already.

So Erik just simply walked to the bed and fell onto it. Charles didn't react in any way. Erik could easily lie down next to him without even touching him. Erik gave the room one last glance, but everything looked peaceful and safe. Charles' end of their telepathic link was quiet, and he only sent some occasional projections of voices and smells and images from his dreams to Erik, but they were vague and nothing Erik couldn't tune out.

For a moment, Erik stopped to wonder. Charles had always said how horrible having telepathy was, how maddening and painful. But this? If this really was what if felt like, then it was barely worth of a headache.

Maybe there was something he was missing here. And the thought nagged constantly at the back of his mind.

Erik knew there was something he didn't see, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

He had a bad feeling that something bad was going to happen soon, even if he didn't know why.

No matter what he did, he couldn't shake the feeling off.

It lurked in the shadows, ready to attack.

But right now, Erik was too tired to worry.

He checked that Charles' blanket was thick enough - and it was - but Erik pulled another blanket to the bed in case Charles got cold during the night. Then he finally sighed in relief - the bed felt like heaven after the endless stream of uncomfortable hospital chairs. Erik pushed a blanket over himself, already half asleep. He thanked the heavens that the big lamp on the side of the room had a metallic string as its power mechanism. Erik yanked it with his power, and comfortable darkness took over the room.

Erik was asleep before he could register it.


	12. Chapter 12

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  
_Content warning:_ Mentions of holocaust, rape, and violence.

* * *

The nurses came in the morning. They almost got knives flown to their faces for waking Erik up and startling him.

There were two of them - one woman and one man. Like Leap had promised, the nurses didn't say anything, but somehow they instantly knew what to do. Erik was hesitant to let them near Charles, but they didn't seem to ask permission. Somehow they seemed to recognize him - Frost had probably planted an image of Charles' face to their heads - and just got into work.

Erik eyed them like a wolf, but the longer he watched, the more relaxed he became. The nurses were just taking some tests and checking Charles' reflexes - still too slow - and checking the still healing wound on Charles' elbow that had almost killed him only a short time ago. They started to take the older bandages away, and pulled antiseptic and other equipment to view. Then they wordlessly took Charles to the bathroom, and Erik watched for a brief time as they cleaned the wound properly there with water. Then Erik trusted them enough to leave them alone.

Frost had known what she was doing. When Erik had sent a word that they needed a hide-out to answer all kinds of needs, Frost had clearly gotten the hint - having Charles around meant that he wouldn't probably be in top condition anytime soon. Erik felt grateful towards her- she might have been too full of herself, but she was efficient and clever. The nurses took care of Charles - first time they were there, they left Charles' remaining wounds freshly bandaged - and for example, his hair wet and washed.

Erik could strongly sense that the minds of the nurses had been bended and controlled, and Erik trusted Frost enough that she hadn't left any dangerous ideas to their heads. Otherwise, Erik couldn't bring himself to care who the nurses were, what their names were, were they worked or how long it took to come to the cabin. Or that they were manipulated, like brainless marionettes on a string.

He knew Charles would definitely have a problem with this, had he been in his right mind. He had always been so reluctant to take free will from people, even if he could have solved a lot of problems by just adding some certain persuasion or ideas into a head or two.

Erik was too tired to even think about any problematic morals there might have been at work here. If Frost didn't care, Erik didn't either.

* * *

The more time went by, however, the more restless Erik became.

Days passed.

The nurses came at least two times everyday.

The cabin was silent otherwise.

At nights, Erik slept beside Charles, staring into the opposite wall, listening him to breathe and watching his restless projections appearing to his own mind that made no sense.

More than once, Erik caught himself just lying in the dim light, watching Charles breathing and curling his fingers around the edge of the blanket while sleeping. Erik listened their link, tried it to see just what was happening with it. Or what went through Charles' head. But Erik was hopelessly bad with this - he was no telepath. He couldn't make any sense of just how their link was formed. He couldn't push or prod - he could only linger.

Sometimes, when Charles dreamed, he briefly took over Erik's hands, and Erik sometimes woke up to the eery feeling that his fingers were twitching on their own, or moving towards something he couldn't see, reaching to empty air in the darkness. Those times, he could only stare, and wait for it to pass. Charles never moved his legs though - fortunately for Erik because he really didn't fancy a night walk over the hills without being able to stop himself - and at the same time it was rather sad, since it seemed that Charles had gotten almost too used to his own immobility.

Time dragged on.

Erik worried - Charles clearly knew they were two different persons, and he had regained most of the control in his body, but otherwise, Charles had been too quiet. Frighteningly so.

If he hadn't been in such a bad condition before, Erik could have almost described him as lethargic.

He only answered when Erik asked him something, and even then, he was distant.

And he still had never said a word aloud.

* * *

How fast could somebody heal from having his head broken and turned into a mess?

Erik could only make guesses.

If also made him wonder just how aware Charles was of his surroundings, or his powers. He had not shown any signs of remembering anything from his past than his name. He couldn't even remember Erik in any other way - his only memories of Erik were from the hospital. He knew Erik, but he didn't _know_ Erik - truly recognize him. It was confusing, and frustrating, but Erik didn't dare to push it too much.

Erik even tried to pull his old memories to his active thinking level, or subtly reference to something in their shared past moments, but Charles never reacted to them.

It was the worry that finally motivated Erik to go ahead and try to really get proper contact to Charles.

So on one afternoon, after the mute nurses had left, Erik sat on the bed next to Charles, and eyed him carefully. Charles looked a bit tired, but otherwise fine. He looked back at Erik, some faint curiosity reaching Erik through their link.

-How are you feeling?" Erik asked aloud, because the cabin seemed a bit too quiet at times to only talk telepathically.

Silence.

Charles tilted his head a little. _Charles?,_ Erik called.

_Erik,_ Charles replied.

His telepathic voice wasn't still completely his own, even if it was rather close. And the constant neutral expressions on Charles' face were unfamiliar. It sometimes reminded Erik of a doll - neutral, impersonal, and generally pleasing. But Erik couldn't help but to miss Charles' real voice, and his real expressions. Having this distant, lukewarm version of him was starting to bother Erik.

He hesitated. Could he just ask what Charles remembered? Or make him try to remember something, anything at all, from their past? Or should he just tell Charles things he needed to know? It was so hard to decide. Erik took a long breath.

-Can you remember your name?" Erik asked simply, even if the question seemed stupid even to him.

Charles flashed a quick smile. _Yes. It's Charles, _he said with some amusement. Erik's lips twitched a little, and he nodded. -Yes. Charles - Charles Xavier. That's your whole name. Charles Francis Xavier."

Silence.

Erik shifted his weight on the bed a little and searched Charles' face. -And my name is Erik Lehnsherr."

Charles didn't answer. Nor did he show any sign of recognition. Erik swallowed his slight frustration. He was at loss - what could he do? Or say?  
After the silence continued, Charles' eyes started to wander on Erik. He observed Erik, from head to toe, until he spotted something and stopped. Erik felt a rush of curiosity coming from Charles' end of the link. Then Charles reached his hand and took a grip on Erik's arm, pulling it closer to himself and brushing Erik's sleeve away to reveal a tattoo. Erik stiffened and an old disgust rose somewhere deep inside of him - that tattoo carried too many memories.

_Why? Why this?_ , Charles asked, and touched the skin above the ink.

Erik wanted to turn away. But he got goosebumps from Charles' touch - his fingers were warm. And Erik couldn't drag his gaze away from his own arm. -I've had it a very long time. Some very bad people gave me that," he said, and his voice sounded strange even to his own ears.

Instantly, Erik could smell the camps, could feel the sticky mud in his boots. The screaming. He had to focus on Charles' face to keep himself together.

Charles' eyes flickered to Erik's, the blue gaze intense. There was a silence. _Why did they do that?_

Erik could feel his eyes suddenly burning. -Because...because they couldn't accept us. People like my family. They put a tattoo like this to everyone there."

_You don't like it._

Erik let out a bitter gasp. -No, I hate it. But it's...a part of me that reminds me everyday that there will always be people that hate everyone who is different." He glared at the tattoo. -But it's still ugly," he hissed, voice unsteady.

And as Erik watched, the numbers and the tattoo suddenly disappeared from sight. He blinked several times in confusion, and then looked up at Charles.

Charles wore a weak smile. _You said you didn't like it. Then...don't see it._

Erik stared at him, then back at his arm. It looked unnatural without the tattoo. Of course he knew that it was still there, and Charles had just created a flawless illusion - without breaking a sweat, once again - but Erik couldn't take his eyes off the now unmarked skin. Erik had to bite down and blink furiously to keep his emotions at bay.

-Thank you," he whispered, because the gesture had been so sincere, so innocent, and so..._Charles_. Erik turned to look at him again, and his bright smile. Charles sent a rush of warmth and comfort through their link, his eyes never leaving Erik's. And Erik could only stare back, and take in every Charles' feature, and inhale the shade of his eyes - and he almost got lost in the deep blue. Erik didn't know why, but he felt a sudden urge of protectiveness so strong that it even startled himself. Charles was too kind for this world. He had such a good heart, now that it was laid so bare.

He was too good to ever care about Erik, or to believe in him. Erik suddenly felt so small and dirty, so stained and unimportant. How could he ever match Charles? How could someone like Charles ever see goodness or hope in Erik? Erik was too broken, too corrupted...and bad. He destroyed everything he touched, he caused the death of every single person he ever cared about. He had killed, lied, manipulated...without caring about the collateral damage. He had never regretted being ruthless, but now Erik suddenly couldn't find any pride in it, like he usually did. He usually basked in his own brutality, because it felt so good to match the suffering that had been inflicted on him.

Being close to Charles made him want to crawl and hide, to remember everything he had done.

Erik had always treated Charles with a hint of disdain and arrogance. He just couldn't help it. Erik had felt so much more mature and wiser than him. Because Charles had never seen proper suffering, not like Erik had. What did Charles know of pain or the evil deeds of humans? Had he truly seen humanity showing its ugly side? Erik had always thought that Charles' naive ideals were directly caused by his priviledged, unbelievably rich and wealthy background. Charles had always lived safely. He had never been forced to fight for the right to survive, to live, eat and breathe. Erik had always felt superior because of his past. He had worn his tragedies and pain like a crown, and judged other people who couldn't match his brokenness.

But now, Erik felt humble in front of Charles' sincere kindness, his overflowing warmth. Erik felt like he was staring at the sun, getting blinded by the light, when he was supposed to crawl and live in the darkness of the night.

But then Erik forced himself to remember that Charles could be arrogant and pompous too, but in a subtle way. He always seemed to know better, to do better. There had been always a sense of pitying wisdom in everything he said. Erik sighed, and pulled his pride closer to himself. It made him feel more like himself. Not this confused mess. But still, it was hard to feel any anger towards Charles when he was so lost, so fragile, like he was now.

_Erik? _Charles called, after a long silence.

_Yes?_

Charles' brows furrowed, and Erik sensed confusion. _Who...who is this?_ he asked, and flashed him an image of Shaw. It caught Erik off guard, and almost knocked the air out of him, seeing that sick face.

Erik wanted to burn the image with the hottest fire - he had hated that face more than anyone else's. Erik didn't even notice he was shaking.

_Erik, _Charles called, and pulled their link gently._ Who is he? We see him a lot. _

Erik raised an eyebrow. -W-we?," he managed weakly. Charles tilted his head. _We see him at nights. Doing bad things to you. And to others. But he's not really here._

Oh. Erik hadn't realized Charles could see his dreams, too, even if made perfectly sense. Erik was so used to his constant nightmares about Shaw that he paid no attention to them nowadays. -I dream about him sometimes. But he's dead. You helped me to..." But Erik stopped himself, shaken that he had almost slipped too much. -He's been dead for years now. He can't hurt anyone anymore."

_He still hurts you, _Charles said gently, worriedly.

Erik had to squeeze his eyes shut. There was a sudden lump in his throat. _Y-yes. That might be true._

Charles seemed to process the information for a while. Then he tilted his head._ I can take him away. If you don't want to see him anymore._

Erik's eyes snapped open. For a moment, he was so tempted to take the offer. To just...let Charles erase Shaw. What would it be like to live without his horrible past? What would it be like to be free of all the unresolved guilt, hatred and haunted memories? Charles could just make him forget. It wouldn't even strain him. Erik was perfectly aware that Charles would never do anything like this normally. He'd hate the idea of changing someone so radically. The offer would be given to Erik only once, and he knew it. But finally, Erik sighed.

-No, Charles. You don't have to do that. I don't want you to. I'm supposed to remember him, it's part of who I am. And you...you shouldn't be responsible for changing me so much." Erik said.

Click.

Only then Erik realized what he had just done. He had...he had just done a decision for Charles' sake. And more importantly - a decision _Charles would have made_ - to leave people unmanipulated, no matter how broken or corrupted. Only then Erik truly listened of what he had just said, and almost couldn't recognize himself.

It was shocking, that he seemed to echo Charles in so many ways now. Now that there were no past barriers between them. Had Charles really changed him so much? Had Charles wrapped him around his finger so tightly that Erik acted instinctively as he wanted? Trying to be...the better man?

The thought bothered Erik.

He didn't want to let go of the pain, because it was so essential to his being. But he also couldn't bear Charles' guilt and anger if he ever recovered enough to see this situation in a better light. There were enough of those piled up between them anyway. Erik was no stranger to selfish decisions - he had made them all his life. But being selfless in the same time...that was new. Then Erik shoved the thoughts away - he did this _only_ for himself. He had said no only for his own sake. Charles had nothing to do with this, he assured himself.

Erik shook his head again.

Charles gave faint smile._ Alright. He can stay. But don't let him hurt you anymore_, he said.

Erik could only stare, and then nod.

Briefly he wondered what their relationship would be like if Cuba had never happened.

He hadn't seen Charles so open and warm in years.

But then he stopped making any scenarios. The past was in the past.

_There are other bad people, too,_ Charles said.

_Lots of them. An endless list_, Erik said darkly.

Charled looked distantly confused. Slowly, he said: _It...it makes no sense. They are apart._

_What are?_

Charles narrowed his eyes in concentration._ The people. Places. Voices._ _We don't have them in order._

Erik was still baffled by the way Charles said 'we' all the time.

When Erik didn't say anything for a moment, he was surprised to find his own body moving on its own again - he shifted his legs and went closer to Charles. The minute he had settled back down, Charles let go and Erik could command his body again. Erik didn't even get upset - it was easier for him to come closer than the other way around. But he still had no idea why.

Charles eyed him closely. _Erik. Show me._

Erik didn't understand._ Show you what?_

A short silence._ Everything, _Charles said.

Erik felt an old memory waking_. "What do you know about me? - Everything._ " That had been years ago. Back when they still had been younger...and closer.

Erik shifted nervously. -I'm not sure if that's..."

But Charles lifted his hands instinctively and took Erik's face between his hands. Erik's argument died on his lips. Their faces were close, Erik could feel Charles' breathing on his skin. Charles looked so gentle, so trusting. It was like the years they had spent apart and the bitter man that Erik had met back in Pentagon had been washed away. This Charles was so much like he had used to. Hopeful. So hopeful, and full of light.

Charles waited. He had just stopped and lingered there, clearly waiting for something.

Erik hesitated. He knew he could refuse, to shut Charles out. He could pull away and make sure Charles wouldn't know him any better than this, just someone who had stayed in the hospital with him. Erik knew he probably should say no, that his life would be easier this way. Shutting Charles out. Keeping him as a stranger. Comfortable distance. Erik felt like he had a chance to unknow Charles - to let him stay as a harmless patient, a broken telepath that had no proper memories. Charles couldn't remember who he even was, not really - he had relearnt his name and face, but nothing besides them. And now, Erik could deny Charles of ever knowing anything solid about him. Erik was so afraid to let anyone near, and he had so often regretted for ever getting so close to Charles in the first place. Knowing him had only brought him pain, guilt and worry - or that's what Erik had kept telling himself all those lonely years back at Pentagon. But even so, he knew that it wasn't really true.

Deeper, Erik craved for Charles' rediscovering his memories, his thoughts, his everything. He wanted Charles to see, to feel, to really_ understand_ his actions and motivations. Erik had never admitted it, but he had always feared Charles' rejection more than anyone else's. He both needed and feared Charles' closeness, because it was addicting and yet it made Erik so vulnerable, so open and bare. Charles had been the only person in Erik's whole life who had shown him true loyalty, warmth and kindness. Raven had only followed Erik because she needed to find her own place in the world. And the rest - they just used him as a tool, prisoner or poor excuse of a leader.

Despite how much confused hatred he still harboured towards Charles somewhere deep inside, Erik couldn't stand the idea that the countless memories, the mixed feelings and sleepless nights that Charles had caused to him would always stay as private, unknown. To Erik only. If Charles would stay like this for the rest of his life, incomplete and shattered, remembering Erik just as someone he used to know. As the man from the hospital.

Erik wanted more than that.

He was probably a masochist for wanting it, but suddenly he wanted Charles back as he had been. Erik would even take back the fights, the hurt feelings, the tension. Anything. Anything, if Charles only knew him well enough to care. As much as Charles had irritated him at times, and driven Erik to the walls with his ideologies, Erik had to admit that he had missed Charles, so badly, so profoundly - so much, during all the years they had been apart.

That's why Erik was probably here in the first place - because he couldn't let Charles go.

And it wasn't like Erik could say no to Charles, not when he asked this way.

So finally, Erik made his decision. Slowly, warily he nodded. _Alright. _He took a shuddering breath. He tried to open his mind, to lower any automatic shielding there might have been. Then, Erik concentrated on his memories from the camps - of the very starting point of his own life. And then, somehow his whole life started to flow in his mind like a movie of memories - probably caused by Charles - and Erik was sucked into the old places and feelings. The room disappeared from him, as the images magnified.

* * *

Shaw. Shaw laughing. Shaw hitting him. His mother dying. Camps. People dying. Famine.

His mother hitting the floor.

The tattoo carved to his arm.

Pain. Fear. Screaming.

War. Metal. So much metal, destruction, Erik feeling the power almost killing him because he uses it too quickly, too fast, too untrained.

Revenge. Years and years of craving a revenge, of hatred and bitterness driving him like a killing machine. Shaw is the only think Erik can think about, about seeing him die.

All those thoughts of being different, feeling like he didn't belong anywhere.

The coin.

Then, the submarine. There is water everywhere, and Erik is drowning, but he won't let go. He will rather go down with Shaw than let him go.

Then there's suddenly someone else, someone inside his head. And Erik remembers the first time he met Charles, the water pounding everywhere, his lungs screaming for air.

_"I thought I was alone."  
"You're not alone. Erik, you're not alone._ "

Air. Hope. Charles has given him hope, and purpose, and somewhere to belong to.

Erik sees himself learning, healing. Growing closer to Charles, to the kids in the mansion, seeing the mutants and their empowerment. Erik sees himself standing in awe, watching Charles and Cerebro, of a painful sting in his heart - a fear that Charles will hurt himself while using the machine. Then adoration. The endless roadtrips. Erik remembers himself laughing, and getting familiar with the sound of it - it has been so rare before. Erik finds himself smiling at Charles, staring him. Drinking in bars with him after a successful trip. Charles laughing. Charles using his powers to amuse Erik, to create stupid illusions and make people say the most inappropriate things in the worst time. Hank, Raven. Long breakfasts. Private telepathic conversations and jokes between him and Charles, that make them both smile at the same time in a crowded room. And Erik laughs, and his eyes sparkle, and the smile on his face feels right. And Charles takes support from him as his feet falter from the alcohol, tiredness or something else, and Erik doesn't mind.

More memories. So many of them about Charles.

Charles sleeping in the car. Charles getting ridiculously excited for science and small things. Charles drinking this tea, and Erik learning his favorite flavours.

Chess. Frustration. Charles smiling, Charles laughing. Raven undressing. Hank's serum backfiring. Tea. Food. Erik's confused thoughts, his partly-mended mind.

Gun held on his forehead, Charles' hands shaking. Charles teaching him to channel his power. Charles always thought it was about the place between rage and serenity, but it isn't. Never has been.

Charles sharing his memory of his mother. Charles brushing an escaped tear from his cheek.

Erik watching, learning, listening. Erik finding himself awake at three in the morning, because he has never had so much to think about before in his life.

He has never questioned his own values like this.

Erik's memories take more speed, and they get stronger.

Raven, Hank. Angel. Azazel. All learning.

Erik reaching for Charles in the mansion from few rooms away, and Charles replying to him telepathically with a rush of amusement or joy.

Then Cuba. The torpedoes.

And Erik knows somewhere at the back of his mind that he shouldn't let Charles see this, that it's too much knowledge, but Erik can't stop. Erik panics and tries to stop the memories rushing forward, to blur them, to block them -_ anything_. His memories have drawn him into a maelstrom and he can't get out. It's like a speeding train - Erik can't do anything but to watch as his memories flash and go forward, how all the buried emotions and thoughts relive in his head again. Erik's panic grows enormous, but can't stop it from happening.

He sees Shaw with the helmet on. He can hear Charles trying to get him to listen, talking to him inside his head, but Erik is too lost in his need to revenge. He just wants to wipe that sick smile out of Shaw's face forever.

_"Don't do this, Erik!"_

Then there's the helmet. And silence. Torpedoes. And Charles running towards him, and Erik hitting him. Charles is smaller, lighter, and Erik can hurt him easily, even if he doesn't want to.

Then Moira starts firing, and then that one shot escapes the gun. It fires, and the sound rips through Erik's head as loud and clear as that day. Erik watched as in his memory, he flips the bullets angrily away, and then hears the horrible gasp of pain. Erik watches in horror as Charles falls to the sand, and Erik's ears are ringing and he is so afraid, so afraid, and he pulls the bullet out of Charles' body because he can't bear the thought of it in there, damaging, hurting. Erik holds Charles in his arms, too gently, too posessively, because Charles belongs by his side. Charles' eyes are filled with pain, but he still doesn't stop people from choosing what they want. Raven comes, and leaves. And Erik leaves, too.

They are both heart-broken, because they are too different, they can never fight side by side again.

Then suddenly, Erik's memories seem to get jammed, and he sees Charles getting shot again, and falling again. And again, again, and again. Erik panics more and more, but he can't make it stop.

The memory starts to repeat itself on a loop, and it grows stronger, more violent, and the gunshot rings through Erik's head, and he feels like it locks his ears because it's so loud.

* * *

_CLICK._

_CRACK._

* * *

Just like that, all of a sudden, the memories just stopped. Somehow they went black like a wire pulled from its power source, like it was switched off. And Erik blinked, horrified, to find few tears on his face and his throat hoarse from screaming, the room re-appearing to him. But he barely noticed his own state, because Charles' hands fell limply away from his face, and he stared, wide-eyed at Erik and looked like he had been just hit.

Charles took a shuddering breath, and Erik could feel that something had changed.

He had gone deathly pale. Suddenly, their link was utterly silent - unnaturally so. There was no sound from Charles, nothing, absolutely nothing.

Charles stared at Erik, something like horror on his face. Then for the first time, Erik saw a flicker of recognizition in Charles' eyes. Charles blinked, and gasped, but he couldn't breathe, and he still stared at Erik like he was about to drown.

-Ch-charles?" Erik whispered, his voice cracking and full of barely contained panic.

And suddenly Charles' neutral, mimicked and learnt face was gone - the one he had learnt to form with Erik's aid in the hospital. Suddenly, his features twisted into something familiar, and Erik's heart skipped a beat as he saw something sharp flash in Charles' eyes. He suddenly looked at Erik with shock - and Erik knew that face, recognized it. Charles Xavier - the one he had always known - was suddenly staring right at him, and the broken harmless hospital patient was gone.

Erik was too afraid to even breathe.

Horrified seconds passed.

World seemed to have stopped.

Notorious dread took over Erik.

He tried to stay calm, but he knew something was falling apart. Erik could feel there was something different in the air now, like electricity, like a tsunami arriving in the distance. Erik tried to realize what it was, or what he could do about it, as he could feel it rising. Suddenly he felt Charles sucking an unsteady breath, and his eyes suddenly filled with agony, and they locked blearily into Erik. The look in them made Erik freeze. He _knew_ those eyes, this time, he really knew. Charles struggled to breathe, like he couldn't get enough air, and at the same time Erik could feel the first tide rising, a hurricane about to unleash itself.

_Erik, _Charles said in realization, in shock, and now his telepathic voice was completely his own, and Erik startled for the sudden change, and felt his stomach dropping when he realized Charles _knew_ who he was. Really knew. The way he had said Erik's name was so completely different from before, like a startled whisper.

For a three short seconds, the balance stayed. Then everything snapped in two.

Something burst into splinters in their link, and Erik yelped in pain as it felt like his brain was pierced by something. It felt like a dam breaking and the huge masses of water roared free, smashing everything in their way. Charles swayed dangerously and his face twisted in pain.

Then, suddenly Erik could hear faint whispers, very distantly.

Charles tried to breathe in, but his breath caught in his throat, and his skin had turned clammy. Erik abruptly could feel Charles withdrawing from his mind through their link, like backing away inch by inch, but the movement felt violent, like Charles was trying to hold on but he was ripped away by invisible hands.

Then the whispers started to grow louder, and Charles' frantic eyes filled with panic. He shook his head furiously._ NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNO_, his mind repeated frightfully.

He looked at Erik, helpless, pained, like searching for a lifeline. But Erik couldn't do anything except to feel Charles' presence slowly slipping further from his head, beyond the black wall in their link that Erik couldn't get through from.

The whispers started to morph into voices, and Erik cringed as their volume and intesity increased.

Then, the realization hit him: Charles' powers - his telepathy - this was it. Something had changed and broken in Charles, and now his powers were suddenly surging forward.

Charles started to shake as he lifted his hands uselessly against his ears, as if the noise was coming from the room around them. Erik could feel Charles' presence disengange itself from his own head, and suddenly Erik _understood_.

Charles had been literally inside Erik's head, in his mind, like it had been a home, a hide-out. Just like Frost had said. Erik hadn't just realized that she had meant it literally - that Charles had escaped the horrors to Erik's head and mind, staying there all this time. That's why Charles hadn't realized that _Charles isn't Erik_, or that they were two different persons, because Charles had been mentally vacating Erik's head. He hadn't been inside his own all this time after Chimera.

Erik sucked in a horrified breath as he realized that those thimes Charles had almost killed them both by remembering his imprisonment in Chimera's headquarters, had been him almost slipping back to his own head.

Suddenly white noise was everywhere, and Erik couldn't help but to yelp in pain as the voices still got louder. And louder. And_ louder_. There were hundreds of them, all playing aloud in a maddening cacophony. Erik could hear them all - men, women, children. Screaming, crying, talking, sighing. He could catch thousands of glimpses of their emotions, feelings, even physical senses. Erik felt like his skin started to crawl and the increasing, searing pain was beyond everything he could have imagined.

Charles looked like he couldn't breathe, and Erik felt every ragged breath he tried to draw in. Charles was holding his head, trying to shut the voices out, to mute them, but they only got louder. Erik could sense Charles falling deeper and deeper back into his own head, and his telepathy strengthening every second.

Erik felt a trickle of blood starting to flow from his own nose, and he tried to put his hands against his own ears too instinctively, because he felt like his brain was about melt out of them. He broke out to scream, because nothing else helped, and there was so much white noise and voice and sensations. His vision got dangerously blurry, and it felt like millions of needles were piercing his brain synapses, popping them and stabbing them.

_Charles! Charles, stop!, _Erik begged.

But he could sense helplessness radiating from Charles through their link.

_CHARLES_, Erik roared, unable to channel his sickening pain in any other way. He realized that Charles probably couldn't do anything, because no living person would take this kind of anguish willingly.

Erik wanted out. OUT. He wanted to crawl to the walls, under the bed, to drown - anything to silence these hellish voices. He felt like the noise was crushing him, stealing his head, the hundreds and hundreds of different emotions overwhelming him and washing him over. He couldn't feel his body, because he could feel twenty, and they were all different. Hearts were pumping in different rhythms, thoughts swirling and Erik feared he would simply go mad any second. He would lost himself and become somebody else, somebody whose name he didn't even know but could feel every irk, touch, thought and feeling from. Or he would become a heap of a blended mix that made no sense, of fifty people he could sense and hear.

He could feel people running, walking, hitting each other, orgasming, crying, having heart attacks, eating, kissing, shaking. Getting raped, murdered, hurt, beaten. Loved, caressed, whispered to. Erik could feel it all, every inch of it, everywhere.

Erik screamed, and screamed, and he could distantly feel everything metallic answering his distress by collapsing on itself, suffering with him in the room.

This needed to _stop_. Erik tried to look at Charles, and got his eyes sharpened enough just in time to saw Charles starting to fall bonelessly towards the bed, and Erik panicked. He barely caught Charles with his badly shaking arms, and placed him carefully on top of the bed. Charles looked ashen, his lips blue. His whole body was as tense as a string of violin, knotted in endless pain. His blue eyes were narrowed from it too, and he was still struggling to breathe.

Erik suddenly realized that Charles might not make it through. That getting all of his telepathy back so quickly might actually kill him. Erik could barely even concentrate on anything - his nose bled, his mind screamed, his hands shook - the noise was so deafening, but his panic was stronger. Shaking, Erik took Charles' face into his hands.

-Ch-charles. Look at me," Erik called.

But he couldn't even hear himself say it, because the hundreds or thousands of voices inside his head drowned everything under it.

_Charles_, Erik called through their link, and by some miracle it went through. It was probably magnified by Erik's panic.

Charles' eyes, dulled and shadowed by agony, flickered weakly, too slowly to Erik's.

_Kill me,_ he whispered.

Erik could only stare. Shocked. Astonished. He couldn't have heard right.

_What?!_

Charles' presence was getting blurry at the edges in their link. Erik realized Charles hadn't been able to breathe in a while, and the lack of oxygen had turned his lips blue-ish.

_Kill me, Erik. M-make it stop_, Charles begged, and now his eyes suddenly filled with tears.

Erik shook his head angrily._ No, no no! I won't. Stop it! _

Charles tried once again to draw a breath, but couldn't._ Erik, _Charles pleaded, and this time Erik recognized the way he said the name. Charles definitely knew him.

Charles' body gave a weak convulsion.

Erik tried to think fast, no matter how hard it was to even form proper sentences in his own head. What if he knocked Charles out? Would it block the telepathy? No, he realized fearfully - Erik would very likely to be able to feel the telepathy through their link anyway, even if Charles was unconscious, and the power would still do its damage inside their heads - without even the remains of Charles' mind controlling it. Erik's untrained and weak mind would probably be crushed under it like an ant.

Charles was getting his power back too quickly, all at once, after his head had been wrecked by the Chimera. It seemed impossible, but Charles' mind was still expanding; his reach getting further, more and more voices joining the noise. If not stopped, Erik realized, this would be fatal.

Charles was dangerously powerful; his reach was the largest than anyone else's.

Was there anything to stop it?

Suddenly Erik froze - the syringes. He instantly remembered the black box in the other room, and the serums in it. Wild hope sprung to his chest, and Erik looked down at Charles triumphantly, only to find that Charles had gone almost completely still. Erik could feel his presence fading as the voices grew even louder. Erik felt like his own brain was a melted porridge, but he struggled up - only to fall flat on his face. Erik's knees gave in and he crashed to the floor, and he realized he wouldn't be able to get to the other room. He wouldn't make it there.

As a reflex, Erik shoved his hand forward, searching the small metal parts of the syringes with his power, and drew them towards himself. He only partly saw in his dim vision how all of the luggage bags came literally through the door, splinters raining down on the floor, but Erik didn't care because the bag dragged itself closer to him.

Erik concentrated everything he got on getting the bag open with his shaking and blood-slick hands, without seeing properly, and after a few seconds just tore the zipper apart and pulled the small black box into sight. Erik searched feverishly for one syringe, and when he found one, he took it to a deathly grip. Then, he stumbled back to the bed. He could distantly feel his own nose and ears bleeding heavily, and he had a very strong urge to throw up, but he forced himself to concentrate.

Erik all but threw himself next to Charles, because he feared his own strength could give in any moment now, and pulled the needle into view. Then he jammed it to Charles' neck, too hard, causing pain - but Erik couldn't think straight - and pushed the liquid down. When he was done, Erik threw the empty syringe away and almost doubled over in the pain he was struggling to keep back.

Erik prayed it would work. Seconds seemed to tick away too slowly, and every moment was torment. Erik clutched his own head, feeling like he wanted to claw his brains out through his own eyes, and only concentrated on breathing in and out. He was curled up in a ball, kneeling on top of the bed, warm sticky blood flowing from his ears and nose. Some may have been even coming through his eyes.

Erik started screaming again, because he had to let the agony out somehow. His screams were muffled by the blanket under him, and Erik pushed himself harder towards it, being sixty people at the same time, having nine bodies and three thousand voices, and feeling like he was about to lose it.

Horrifying seconds passed.

Erik almost prayed to higher power it would stop.

He also almost, almost wished that the voices would indeed kill him right now, because he wanted nothing more than it to stop. Just. _STOP._

He kept screaming.

Then, very slowly, the voices lost their sharpest edge. First, it didn't make any big difference, but then Erik could feel Charles' reach shrinking, dying down. The voices and alien emotions, bodies and presences started to dull, and got quieter. In a few more minutes, the voices dropped back down to whispers, and Erik thanked every power he knew, welcomed the silence with open arms, breathing heavily. It took him another minute before he could open his eyes again, and more time before he could actually see anything. His ears had stopped bleeding, and Erik tried to stop himself from shaking. He looked down at Charles.

Exhausted, Erik took unstable breaths. Charles' eyes were closed, and he had gone very still.

Erik was almost too afraid to check.

But he crouched next towards him anyway, searching for a pulse. It was weak and erratic, but it was there. But somehow, Erik sensed that something was wrong, because Charles was still too blue and pale, and Erik put his hand above Charles' mouth. He couldn't feel even a faintest breeze.

_Mein Gott._

-Charles? Charles!" Erik called. He shook him, not too gently. Erik waited, but nothing changed. He gave Charles a few slaps, but he didn't react at all. _Jesus Christ_, Erik muttered in horror, and stared at him. Erik thought back shakily to any medical treatment he knew. He hastily brushed most of the blood from his face, and bent down to breathe for Charles. He didn't have time to register how it felt to do it, he could only repeat the gesture, blowing as much air in to the unmoving telepath's body as he could. He was about to do it for the fourth time when he could feel Charles' lungs finally responding, and starting to take air by themselves.

Erik staggered back, watching carefully and making sure Charles kept on breathing. Fortunately, he did. Erik watched as his face regained some colour, albeit slowly.

Erik leant his face into his hand, breathing hard.

He was completely drained.

His face was still full of blood that had poured from his nose, and some of it was on Charle's lips, now too. Not to mention that Erik's ears were ringing and full of sticky, drying blood, that made everything sound even more muffled than it already was.

Long second passed.

Erik stared at Charles' unmoving, unconscious form. He stared, minutes and minutes, his tormented brain swirling with his own thoughts now.

Some things started to occur to him.

As the shock from the experience started to die down, they become more and more clear.

And for the first time, Erik_ understood._

Charles' constant headaches back in the days, the never-ending migraines he used to get. The shadowy frown on his face sometimes, in the middle of a sentence.

Erik glanced numbly at the empty syringe on the floor, remembering how harshly he had judged for Charles ever wanting to shut his powers off.

He remembered the way he had blamed Charles_, _arrogantly. "_You sacrificed your powers so you can walk? "_  
_"I sacrificed my powers so I can sleep! What do you know of it?"_

And Erik now _understood_.

He really did.

Most importantly, he realized he had _never_ understood. Anything.

He didn't know any of it. He never had. He had always imagined that Charles' powers were all about reading thoughts and playing with people's heads, creating illusions and finding mutants. Easy. Natural, like controlling metal was to Erik.

But the short glimpse he had gotten to Charles' telepathy just minutes ago - the massive sea of voices, of emotions - even physical pain. People fighting, screaming, hitting. Erik couldn't even differentiate everything, but he had recognized some of the people whose heads he had been in. Some of them were sitting on a train, some read, some fought, some slept, some were kissing, some were having sex, some dying. Erik had felt everyone from a young mother giving birth to a child to an old man fetching his mail. Everything from bad or good - to the gentlest touch to the violent hit - from the rapist's thrusts to the wedding altar kiss.

Erik felt sick, and he felt bile rising to his throat.

Who had he been to judge Charles?

If Erik was given a choice, he wouldn't want a power like this. And suddenly it made sense what Raven had said to him once, years ago - _"Your power is such a useful, insivible one. But what about us that look like freaks, who people fear just by looking at us? What about the ones that suffer from their power, who can't live a normal life because of our heritage? Think about that, Magneto, before you blame me from hiding or wanting to be normal. For some of us, it isn't that easy. We have no choice of turning it off and on like a switch."_

And Erik had claimed that he knew what Raven meant, but he hadn't.

Not really.

Not _at all._

And for the first time in his life, Erik looked down at Charles and pitied him. Pitied him for having to bear so much, for having a power like this - and yet never, ever complaining about it openly. He had never shown the discomfort to Erik, not even once. He had never even tried to explain what it was like. He had always acted so cheery and negligent even when he had had those migraines.

_What do you know of it?,_ Charles had asked from him, angry.

For once, Erik knew he was right when he admitted it - nothing.

And slowly, Erik started to realize that his arrogance and slight despise towards Charles might have been misplaced.

He felt like a hypocrite.

He _was_ a hypocrite.

And Erik felt _ashamed_.

He suddenly felt very small, and childish. He wanted to bury his head into the pillows, to hide for a while.

And since Erik had nowhere to go, he let himself collapse on top of the bed, no matter how much of a mess it was or how much drying blood there was. He didn't even dare to look around the cabin behind him and check what condition it was in. Everything metal from several mile radius had probably twisted and flown, screeching and breaking, as Erik had reached for any salvation from the voices.

He was exhausted, and he was ashamed. Guilt was gnawing him.

Erik felt a burning sensation behind his eyes, as he inhaled the scent of the blanket. He blinked hard as he laid next to Charles, staring at the small hole the serum needle had left behind to Charles' neck. Erik squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to wash away the memories from the voices - he wanted to scrub them away with a bleach - but couldn't. He could still feel the remains of the emotions from people he had never met. And the disorientation from living in several bodies, of almost forgetting who he was. He had almost drowned under it all.

Biting his lip, Erik let his bloodied and tired hand flop next to him on the bed. Somehow, it seemed to search Charles' shoulder, and curl around it. Like it could stop him from slipping away, and like Erik could erase all of the nasty accusations and arrogant words he had ever spoken to Charles about his powers. Undermined him, underestimated him. Treated him with disdain, told him how to use a power Erik had never understood.

Erik pulled himself weakly closer, so he could hear Charles breathing. Just to make sure.

Heavy silence filled the room. It felt even quieter than before. Almost suffocating.

And as Erik's eyes kept burning, he buried his face into Charles' hair.

He stole the moment for himself, for his shame, and the anxiety of seeing things in a new light. He allowed this moment of weakness, of breaking down, of seeking physical closeness, because he couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He could claim that it was because of the stress, the pain, the adrenaline, the exhaustion. Living several months under life-threatening danger. Anything. He could try to lie and ignore, like he always did, but somehow this time, right now when he was completely alone, he had no strength to believe himself.

Charles' hair scented like apples, and it made Erik's eyes burn more, and he squeezed them tightly shut.

For a moment, he couldn't even remember who he was. Magneto seemed like a bad joke, a caricature, and Erik Lehnsherr wasn't quite the same anymore.

And it wasn't because of the thousands of voices he had held inside his head a moment ago - it was because of his own, small voice at the back of his now quiet head. Somehow, it was horrible in a very different way than the ones before.

It said_: You were wrong. You were wrong all along._

And Erik let out a pained, frustrated gasp angrily - because for once in his life, he couldn't disagree.


	13. Chapter 13

It was 4 in the morning when Erik finally got up and dragged himself to the bathroom. Then he washed the blood away from his face and ears, and changed his sticky clothes to new ones.

He didn't look at himself in the mirror.

He didn't make any sound than those that were the most necessary. Erik had never before appreciated so much the silence.

* * *

The cabin was a mess.

It was like it had been hit by a hurricane, and Erik quietly let his power flow and fix most of the twisted furniture, and hide all the objects that had spread to the floor and flown to the walls. Numbly, he cleaned and cleaned. Normally he didn't care about dust, mess, or untidiness, but now Erik felt like he wanted to scrub everything with care. He did his work quietly, effectively - almost mechnically.

It was relieving to have something to do.

The quiet dread set over him only when he had nothing else to clean, and he found himself standing in the middle of the cabin, desperately trying to find something to fix.

There wasn't anything.

The cabin still looked like a wreck, but it was in one piece at least.

Erik tried to look anywhere but the bed where Charles was still lying, unnervingly still.

Erik had no other choice but to stand uselessly, so he started pacing. He wondered how long the serum would have an effect. Erik hated himself for it, but he wished for nothing more than it wouldn't wear off anytime soon. He wasn't ready for another set of torment like that. Experiencing telepathy first hand had been somewhat traumatic - to put it lightly. It had been ten times more intense he could have ever imagined in his wildest dreams.

But there were still had three other syringes left, and Erik lifted them up on a table like a treasured salvation. Three days ago, he would have been ready to crush them and bend the needles into useless heaps, throwing them away with disdain.

But now, Erik made sure that none of the syringes were broken, and he closed the black box carefully, almost caressing it.

He felt a sting of self loathing.

Erik turned away from them and sat on the couch. His eyes wandered to Charles.

Thoughts were swirling in his head like angry bees, and Erik knew there was no hope of getting sleep anytime soon. Besides, he didn't want to leave Charles alone for one minute. He hadn't stopped breathing or anything so drastic after the serum had kicked in, but Erik wasn't about to take any risks.

He wished more than anything that Charles would wake up already. But he also feared the moment he would.

Erik tried to think of anything he could say, or do...Or what condition Charles could be in. Had Charles gotten his memory back for good, or had the earlier just been a moment of sudden awareness? Erik didn't know what he would do if Charles reverted back to his simple patient mode.

But he had no other option but to wait.

* * *

Hours passed.

Finally, when the morning light started to strengthen, Charles started to shift and move at times, and Erik felt his own heartbeat picking speed.

Erik didn't know what to do with his hands or feet, he kept shifting them nervously and squirming on the sofa. In the end, he couldn't just keep sitting there so he got up and went to stand a bit closer to the bed.

Finally, Charles showed signs of waking up. He breathed out and his face twisted, and soon his eyelids started to flicker. Erik swallowed and lifted his chin in anticipation. He had no idea what to expect.

When Charles finally opened his eyes, Erik didn't dare even breathe. Charles blinked blearily, and it took a moment from him to adjust his gaze. He stared at the ceiling, and his brows furrowed in tired confusion. Erik waited, tense, as Charles glanced at the bed, clearly not knowing where he was. Erik observed his every move and expression from further distance.

Charles slowly pushed himself to sit, wincing as his still healing elbow reminded of itself. Then he glanced at the cabin, and only then he noticed Erik. He startled and stared at Erik, and Erik felt his heart jumping nervously when their eyes met. It was as if those blue eyes could make Erik's face burn.

For two seconds, time seemed to go by extremely slowly.

Erik held his breath, waiting, worrying, fearing.

Then Charles' face changed, and his eyes widened a little. He let out a strangled breath, not looking away for a moment, recognition written all over his face. Charles knew who Erik was - truly knew. Erik was simultaneously grateful and disturbed by it, and suddenly he felt self-aware. Charles' gaze was breath-takingly intense and sharp. But Erik refused to even flinch - he stood stiffly on his place like a rock, swallowing hard.

Charles' brows furrowed, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, only to open them again - like Erik could have disappeared meanwhile. Charles' eyes slided restlessly to a far wall, then back to Erik, then back to the wall again. He panted, several expressions flashing in his face. Erik recognized each and everyone of them, and seeing them after such a long time felt relieving.

Then Charles frowned and put a hand over his face, rubbing his forehead like it was in pain. It made worry flicker in Erik's chest. But then again, his worst fears of hadn't come true - Charles' telepathy hadn't suddenly kicked back into action, Charles hadn't freaked out completely nor had he remained unconscious. Thank God for small miracles, Erik thought bittersweetly.

Long seconds dragged on.

Erik hesitated - should he say something or stay quiet? He opened his mouth only to close it again. Charles looked distantly pained, clearly thoughts running wild in his head. But Erik had no idea what they were. Surprisingly, he could feel the link between them - the serum hadn't blocked or broken it in any way - but the link was now silent, and Erik couldn't get any leaks through it of what Charles was feeling.

Erik could only wait.

Charles' hand slided distractedly to his neck where Erik had jammed the needle into, and Charles rubbed the spot before his hand fell away. More time passed. The silence in the room was thick.

Charles clearly avoided looking at Erik - instead, he glanced at the cabin around them with baffled look on his face. But it soon faded and Charles turned his eyes down, just breathing in and out.

Erik gave him time, because he had no idea what else to do.

Suddenly Charles started to stare at his own legs, and he gasped as he let his hand drop on his own thigh. His fingers were shaking a little as he was frozen for a moment. Then he let his hand slide to his knee warily. He gave the knee a light squeeze, and his leg jerked faintly as a response. Charles squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip in such a relieved way that Erik felt the ugly, old guilt stabbing him once again.

But it soon faded and turned into disbelief when Erik saw what Charles did next.

He shifted towards the edge of the bed, and Erik couldn't help but to take an automatic step forward, disliking the idea of Charles getting up - but he stopped himself midway and froze again. Charles' froze too, when he noticed Erik's movement, and stared at the floor next to Erik's feet like it was a warning - still refusing to meet his eyes. When Erik stayed on his place, Charles started to move again, and let his feet land on the floor.

Erik's hand twitched - he wanted nothing more to tell Charles to stop, or open his mouth and say something, but just couldn't. Slowly, Charles took support from the bed post and started to push himself up. Erik watched closely, opening his mouth but no word coming out. Charles winced and fell back to sit, and Erik took another step forward. But before he could say anything or move at all, Charles' hand shot up to the air in a demanding way and Erik obeyed, staying back and remaining silent.

Charles waited a moment before he tried again, and pushed himself almost violently up. His legs staggered and almost gave in, but Charles kept himself upright with his upper body strength. Wincing, lips in a tight line, Charles lingered on the same spot before he stretched his legs carefully, sluggishly. Long seconds passed, and almost turned into minutes when Charles just stood on his place.

It looked odd seeing him like that after such a long time, and Erik drank in the sight.

Finally, Charles took an experimental step. His legs carried him, even if weakly, and Charles took support from anything he could - and started to head towards the door. Erik reached his hands towards Charles, then dropped them again, at loss what he should do. He let out a frustrated sigh, but Charles kept going, albeit slowly. He got in to doorway, and almost stumbled, but forced his way out by sheer willpower. Erik took hesitant steps after him - he had no idea what Charles was about to do.

The air was cooler outside.

Charles breathed it in as he laid eyes on the dim morning light, and pushed the door more open. Erik rushed his steps and went after him. It seemed like this whole thing was some kind of an escape instinct that Charles needed to fulfill. Erik came out the door just in time to see Charles getting down on the small wooden porch - more falling than sitting - and looking already pale and exhausted. Erik took few careful steps towards him, but didn't dare to go too close.

It was odd how quickly things had changed - before, Erik had had no problem touching or being physically close with Charles - but suddenly the load of old memories, tension, fights and current events hanging in the air, he had no idea how to just be around Charles. Erik felt so aware of his every movement and gesture.

Sun was starting to rise on the far horizon, behind the clouds.

Erik decided to give Charles time, because admitting that Erik couldn't come up with anything to say was harder.

Charles rubbed his temples, and long minutes passed in silence.

* * *

The world around them started to grow more brighter, but the atmosphere somehow seemed grim.

Finally, Erik started to lose his patience, since his nervousness was bubbling inside of him uncomfortably. He cleared his voice - but it still was unsteady for some reason. -Charles?" Erik said warily.

Charles took a sharp breath. Then he glanced at Erik, and his eyes were so full of emotions and uncertainty that it seemed overwhelming after all the time Erik had been around with a very simple version of him. Erik spotted a small spot of dried blood on Charles' lips from the previous night, and Erik had to swallow for remembering how he had breathed for Charles, even it had only been for a moment.

Erik crossed his arms and shifted his weight, fidgeting nervously. -How...how are you feeling?" he asked, because it was the only thing he could come up with.

Charles looked at him, unreadable, then just shook his head and turned to look away again. Despite his calm facade, Erik could sense that he had a war of emotions going inside of him.

Erik sighed in frustration. -Charles, I..." he started, but his voice faded and all words escaped him. He stared at the ground. -I...I got you out." Erik finally said with a tight voice.

Charles flickered his eyes at him, but this time, his gaze didn't turn away again. Erik saw the attention as an encouragment to continue, so he tilted his head carefully. -From...from your captors. I got you out of there with the help of my new Brotherhood members. That was a few months ago. We've been...You were in the hospital for quite some time. We've been in this cabin for a few days now."

Charles didn't answer. He just looked at Erik, and Erik squirmed under the intense gaze. It had been so long when Charles had really looked at him with his own eyes and awareness, and Erik had forgotten how deep and transfixing it was. He changed the place of his arms a little.

-Look, Charles. I had to give some of the serum to you last night. The one that blocks your powers. I had no other choice since..." Something odd flashed in Charles' face, and Erik got quiet, careful.

Heavy silence followed. Erik wasn't sure if mentioning Chimera or anything else could be dangerous. Erik tried to think of something to say, or where to start. But instead, he decided to be practical and simple by asking questions. And he _had_ important questions.

Erik coughed to clear his voice again. -How long does the serum last?"

Charles stayed silent.

Erik continued stubbornly. -It's been effective about 14 hours for now. So, what is it normally like - a day? Two? Or even three - before it starts to fade?"

Erik concluded that all the time Charles had spent without it had probably raised his tolerance for it.

Erik waited, but Charles showed no signs of answering. Erik started to fear that his mind had somehow reverted or damaged itself somehow - even if the look on Charles' eyes was definitely sharp. -Charles, I really hope you could answer me. I'm starting to wonder if you even understand what I'm..."

_There is still time_, Charles said quietly, sounding exhausted even when talking telepathically.

Erik raised an eyebrow in surprise - Charles' powers were blocked, but he could still talk to Erik straight like this? It took a moment from Erik to recover from his surprise until he hurried himself to reply, now that he finally had some connection with Charles.

-Time," Erik said slowly. -Uh, alright. Could you be more specific? Give me some kind of guess how long?"

There was a silence so long that Erik was already certain Charles wouldn't reply, but then the another weak answer came.

_Not long. Until nightfall, maybe._

Erik nodded, satisfied that he had something solid to go on. -Right. Good. That's...that's good to know." he said. Then he was at loss with words again. Why was this so damn hard?

-Does it...does the telepathy kick back in one go or does it come more slowly?" he asked.

Charles sighed.

_Slow._

Erik nodded again. Charles' answers were all so short, so tired, that he didn't know what to think of it. Erik started to get frustrated because he was also getting tired of worrying, guessing, being afraid for Charles' sake. He stood up straighter.

-Fine, that's good. Because...because your telepathy became active last night and you almost...You almost died, Charles. I'm not sure exactly how it went down, but it came back on suddenly and...it was quite something."

It was the understatement of the year. But Erik disliked the idea of getting into details, or telling how much his views had been challenged and changed after that. Or how shocked and astonished Erik had been after the experience, and how it was haunting his mind even now. How humbled he had been after a true display of Charles' powers. But Erik decided that the conversation - if it ever came - would be later. So he just continued quietly: -I think your telepathy returned too quickly, so...you stopped breathing. I...I managed to...Well, it took some time, but...fortunately, you started breathing again."

_Thank you_, came the emotionless, automatic reply.

Erik was getting both worried and irritated of how distant Charles was. -Yes, well...you're welcome. I...It was..." Erik had to stop - he loathed his nervous stuttering. He took a moment before he gathered his thoughts. -It was a bit too much of a close-call in my opinion. But I hope that it was a one time thing, since you got all of your power back too quickly. So more likely, last night was just a shock reaction or sensory overload. Or something like that. But since you said that your telepathy returns slowly after the serum, I think we should be pretty safe in that sense."

Charles didn't answer, just kept staring at the distant horizon.

Once again, heavy silence set in again. Erik hated it, and how bad he was at this, worry gnawing his chest.

It felt like they were miles away from each other.

Erik tried to figure out how he could get Charles talking. Erik eyed him carefully for a long time. Just when he was about to open his mouth, a gasp escaped Charles and he winced, hand flowing to his forehead and before Erik had time to react, his own mind was filled with an image of small boy - who looked somehow familiar, even if Erik had never seen him before - walking into a kitchen.

Then the image was gone, and Erik was left standing, dumbfounded. He stared at Charles.

-Was...was that you?" he asked, confused, because the image had clearly not come from his own head - but it seemed impossible that it had come from Charles since his telepathy shouldn't be working.

Charles just nodded distantly, concentrating on himself.

-Was that some kind of projection? Or is the serum wearing off already somehow?" Erik asked warily.

Charled glanced at him in surprise, brows furrowed, confused.

_You shouldn't be able to see this._

Erik blinked. -Oh. Well...I am. Maybe it's because of the link that's between us. A telepathic one." Charles stared at him for a while, and Erik felt the faintest tug at the link - Charles was clearly reaching for it, inspecting it - and it spoke volumes that he could do it without his telepathy. Erik raised an eyebrow - Charled looked surprised to find the link.

Erik tilted his head. -Shouldn't our link be broken now that your telepathy is blocked? Or how is this possible that I'm still receiving things from you? And hearing you talk to me?"

Charled seemed to only then notice that he hadn't actually said a word aloud, just talked telepathically to Erik. He was silent for a long time, and Erik felt him observing their link - it felt like brushes of feather at the back of his head. Erik was silently impressed of Charles' mind being able to do it, despite how wrecked, tortured and unpowered it currently was.

Erik's thoughts were interrupted by an odd look that took over Charles' face. _It's not broken.  
_His confusion deepened. _Or weakened._

Erik raised his eyebrows. -Okay..." he said, surprised. -How? I mean..." But he decided that it wasn't so important right now. -Well, no matter how it's still intact and strong as before, I don't really care, but what was that thing I just saw?"

Like an answer to his question, another image filled Erik's head.

The same small boy, walking to a kitchen. Then a small read-headed and blue-skinned girl came into view, and Erik would have recognized her anywhere. It took a second before he realized that the boy was Charles - of course, he shouldn't have seen it - it was Charles and Raven as children.

_"You're not... scared of me?"_

_"I always knew I couldn't be the only one in the world. The only one who was different. And here you are."_

_Charles telling her his name. Raven's smiling face, their hesitant handshake._

_"You're hungry and alone. Take whatever you want. We've got lots of food. You don't have to steal. In fact, you never have to steal again."_

Erik watched the memory, deeply fascinated by it. Both Charles and Raven had only mentioned how they had met, but seeing it as Charles' memory made it so much more solid and vivid.

Then the image faded, and Erik was standing outside the cabin again. Charles clutched to his forehead. Erik threw him a worried look and stepped instinctively closer.

-Charles?"

Silence.

-Those are your memories, right?"

_Yes._

-Then why am I seeing them?" Erik asked, and tried to remember what Frost said. Oh yes - that even in Chimera's labs, Charles had held onto his memories the hardest - but clearly they had been somewhere deep inside if they were resurfacing now, this strongly.

_I'm afraid you will have to watch them, Erik, for some time now on._

Erik nodded, trying to sound calm. -That's alright. I'm...I won't mind seeing them. Actually, it might be nice, for a change, to have a glimpse in your head," he said half-jokingly. But there was old bitterness in his words, and Erik couldn't completely hide it.

Charles shook his head slowly.

_You are not going to like what you see._

A tired pause. Charles took a breath.

_But I can't block them from you without my powers._

Erik shrugged. -Like I said, I don't mind."

Charles looked distant. _You will._

Erik raised an eyebrow, but didn't want to argue. He shifted his weight - he felt a little better about the situation - Charles wasn't clearly in any life-threatening danger, and the serum was working, and he could communicate with Erik flawlessly. And he wasn't freaking out about who he was and where. It was a lot more than Erik had dared to expect. So he took what he could get.

-Are you goint to stay there or come inside? Do you, uh, need any help?" Erik asked.

Charles only shook his head.

Erik nodded. Then he lingered for a moment, but he felt like Charles wanted to be alone, so he took slow steps towards the cabin.

-I will...I'll be right here if you need anything." he mumbled. It felt odd saying it. Everything felt so strained, and Erik hated to notice it.

Charles didn't respond.

Erik looked at him for a long moment, until he turned around and went inside.

He was not nearly satisfied with the situation, but he knew he had to give Charles time. Meanwhile, Erik was secretly satisfied that he would get to see at least some of Charles' memories. Charles had only told about his past when he was directly asked about it, and even then he had been vague. Now that Erik gave it a thought, he realized he didn't know that much of Charles' earlier life.

He didn't really know Charles that well at all.

And the thought bothered Erik much more than he dared to admit.

Then again, Erik didn't expect to see anything more interesting in Charles' memories than drinking tea and living rich, spoiled and well-educated countryside life.

If he had known how wrong he was, Erik might have felt anxious about the long hours ahead of him.

* * *

It started with Raven.

Erik got to see parts of Raven and Charles growing up - flashes here and there. Charles' memories were resurfacing from somewhere deep within. And now that he couldn't block or arrange them with his powers, they started appearing spontaneously. But Erik could sense they were all coming back, now that Charles was really back at his own mind and head.

But as time passed, the memories got more clearer and darker. Erik stayed inside the house, when Charles spent long hours outside.

Suddenly Erik started to see flashes of Charles' father, whose name Erik didn't even know. He could only feel how much Charles had loved him. Then, in the next memory, he saw young Charles watching as they buried him, his mother crying under a black umbrella. Charles had felt her agony on top of his own, his telepathy magnifying the pain.

_"He's in a better place now,"_ Charles' mother had told his son, even if Charles had sensed that she didn't even believe it herself.

Then Erik saw bits of Charles' mother becoming distant, glassy-eyed, and opening whiskey bottles. She had another man sometime after, that she called Kurt in Charles' memories. Along with Kurt, came a mean young boy, presumably Charles' step-brother, and Erik could see him endlessly abusing Charles - hitting, calling him names, making him look bad in front of everyone. Erik watched, shocked, as the memories progressed - and felt increasingly angry at the unknown step-brother, and at some point he was ready to smack the kid to the face, but then Erik saw as the boy's own father - Charles' step-dad Kurt - beat him and kicked him several times, and Charles screamed and writhed two floors up in his own room when he could feel every ounce of pain like it was inflicted on him.

_Good God._

Erik's cheer about learning more about Charles' past started to fade. He sat inside the cabin, staring at a wall with a slightly shocked look on his face, suddenly happy that he didn't have to face Charles. He felt like an intruder. This wasn't something he was supposed to see, just like Charles had told him, but it wasn't like he could stop doing it. Erik almost wanted to run out of house and shut his brain off.

Because the memories didn't turn any happier. Quite the contrary.

* * *

Erik saw memories of Charles' mother drinking herself to oblivion, alcohol flowing endlessly week after week, month after month. And Charles could feel every sip and her misty thoughts. And then Erik was watching how they buried her too.

_"Goodbye, mother"_ Charles whispered to her mother's grave.

The last bit of Erik's satisfaction faded with that.

He started to cringe his teeth, and he tried not to see and watch, but he had no other choice, because the memories took over his head one by one. He couldn't block them - Erik simply didn't have the skill or ability to do so. It didn't matter that Charles was outside, because the memories kept surfacing to him and the link carried them to Erik. Some of them were blurry and noisy, but most of them were strong and Erik caught some of Charles' old emotions through them.

Erik witnessed helplessly as the step-dad, Kurt, kept beating his own child, and Charles suffered alongside his step-brother. Then there was suddenly a fire, and flames and heat, and the mansion was burning in all of its glory, and Charles was screaming and his step-brother was crying, but Kurt came and saved them.

Erik watched in horror as the mansion burned in the memory. He could even smell the smoke. Charles and his step-brother got out, but Kurt was stuck inside. Erik's hands clutched to fists as he witnessed the memory and the massive, hot flames. And then he saw as Charles collapsed on the damp grass outside of the burning mansion and screamed on top of his lungs as he could feel Kurt's flesh melting and his dying agony when the flames ate him and the smoke suffocated him. And Erik tasted bile on his tongue when a young Charles screamed and screamed, until Kurt died and Charles felt like he died too.

If Erik still had some of his old arrogance over telepathy left, it was gone for good now.

* * *

Time became soon meaningless. At one point, Charles came inside - his walking had strongly improved but he was still leaning heavily on anything he could - but Erik didn't even dare to look at him. His ignorant and stereotypic view of Charles was shattering bit by bit as the day progressed, and Erik wasn't sure if he could take a shock so strong after last night.

Erik felt his whole view of his oldest friend dissolving and becoming a muddy mess.

He almost wished that he could have just chosen to ignore it. But naturally, he didn't get to make that choice.

Minutes ticked by, and more memories flowed forward. Several from Charles' teenage years, when he accidentally stopped every single person in their tracks in one small town, causing several car accidents and crashes - and the way Charles had been able to hear a murderers' thoughts when he was about to bring the axe down - and Charles' guilt as he wiped the man's head clean of everything as a shock reaction. He prevented a murder, but felt responsible for the man's fate years afterwards.

Erik felt uncomfortable. His thoughts were swirling - he had never paid any thought to how strong Charles' power was, and how much he had to concentrate on blocking his power instead of just using it when he liked.

Erik also watched as Charles observed information from the heads of police officers, university lecturers, professors and normal people. And Erik saw so many memories of Raven, filled with warmth and love, and Raven smiling innocently despite her insecurities. Charles' love for her radiated from the memories so strongly, but it was also laced with pain.

Years and years, snippets from here and there. But no matter how ugly minds he had met, Charles only felt empathy for everyone.

Erik could only huff in half-affectionate frustration - it was so Charles to feel that way - even about bad and rotten humans.

* * *

They didn't talk. Or even look at each other.

The hours of the day passed, and Erik sent the nurses away as they came to check on Charles.

Soon, Erik was seeing memories from Charles as a soldier in Vietnam. And that was the part of the day when Erik felt edgy and had to pace around the room as Charles got himself almost killed, and felt people die right and left, and their horror and home-sickness almost drowned him. Charles almost became a drooling mess for the overload.

Erik had _never_ known.

And the memories continued, and there were many memories of Raven, and Hank, and then of himself. It was odd for Erik to see himself through Charles' eyes, but he felt only affection and warmth in Charles' old memories of them meeting, and Erik learning to control his power.

But the more Erik saw, the more humbled he felt. He wanted to wave the memories off, but he watched them like he was enchanted. And every memory brought a new thing about Charles, and Erik saw so much pain, and tragedy, and struggle of just keeping his powers in check. Erik realized it took_ effort_ from Charles to stay out of people's heads, not the other way around. And Erik was surprised, as much as he hated himself for it, because he felt also pity, empathy and...he bit by bit, he understood more. Charles had been in thousands of minds, seen so many different people and learnt their most private thoughts, and yet it hadn't made him bitter and cynical. Instead, Charles absorbed all of the information and knowledge, and it just increased his hope and light and understanding. And he always sought the brightest things in people.

And Erik felt almost angry because Charles was too kind, too optimistic, and Erik didn't know if he envied Charles or admired him for being in a telepathic death race every single day of his life and holding his head high nevertheless.

* * *

As the afternoon continued, Erik had fallen into a maelstorm of confused thoughts and shattered views on his old friend, and he didn't know what to think anymore.

His respect for Charles grew, and he learnt of just how much pain Charles had hid behind his bright smile, and Erik couldn't comprehend how someone could take all the bad things and just turn them into power sources. Charles had taken everything in, and never really complained. Instead, he had joked with Raven, and let people think his mutation was something nice to play around with, not an agonizing and continous migraine and cacophony of voices.

Erik felt like an idiot for falling the same trick as everyone else.

He was supposed to be the one that knew Charles best. Yet the more memories Erik saw, the more convinced he became that he didn't really know Charles Xavier at all.

* * *

When the evening surrounded the cabin, Charles' memories got closer and closer to the times he had known Erik, and Erik couldn't deny his increasing curiosity. But at the same time, Charles' memories became blurrier since the serum started to lose its best hold, and Charles started blocking them as well as he could. Erik almost felt upset by this.

Because now, he caught some of the bits of Azazel, Angel, Banshee and everyone else. And Erik. So many memories of Erik, and Erik felt odd how bright and cherished the memories seemed to be, and he almost felt his cheeks burning for such attention in Charles' head, despite the memories were years old.

Then there was Cuba, and Erik could catch a glimpse of the horrible pain in Charles' back, and losing his legs. And then months and months spent in hospitals and surgeries, dazed by pain and drugs, and being alone since Erik and Raven had left him behind. And Erik felt a stab of guilt as Charles went through a lot of physiotherapy, but nothing gave him the ability to walk.

And Erik saw Charles watching the news about the president's murder, and feel his betrayal and shock and pity - and anger towards Erik.

And then Erik had to witness as the mutants started to die and Charles took every death as a personal failure, and Charles' memories turned darker as his idealized view of the government and humans had been destroyed in Cuba. Even then, Charles fought to keep his optimism. But the mansion became empty, and people died, and Charles started drinking, and Hank came up with the serum. And Raven stayed gone, and Erik stayed gone, and everyone except Hank left Charles behind. And Erik could feel Charles' old anger of getting rejected and abandoned, and used like a tool.

Worst were the memories from the mansion, despite how distant they were. Erik watched in disapproval as Charles drank whiskey to numb the voices, to numb the pain, and took the serum so Hank wouldn't have to stay by his bed and hold him as he screamed during the nights - confused, because he didn't know was he Charles Xavier or six other people, or all of them.

Days and years passed in drunk haze, and Erik felt disgust and pity for having to see Charles' self-destructive way of living, and the hope dimming from his eyes, and optimism fading. And suddenly Charles' radical change into an angrier and bitter version of himself made a lot more sense, and Erik felt almost scared because once he had begun to _understand_, to truly understand who Charles Xavier really was, it was harder to hold on the hatred.

But when Charles' memories started to turn at the point where Logan appeared, Erik stopped seeing them properly. Soon, they stopped altogether. Instead, he started to hear the first whispers, and Erik loathed and feared the realization that the telepathy was coming back and the serum was starting to wear off.

The whole day had gone over in a haze, and Erik only then got up and looked around. Charles had been inside for several hours, but he had gone outside again.

Erik stopped to calm himself - he felt drained for all the emotion he had experienced throughout the day.

But then Erik went outside, and found Charles from the porch again. Charles looked at him, tired, skin pale in the darkening light.

Erik tried to find something to say. He was silent for a long time, biting his lip. -I'm...sorry about your parents. I never knew," he managed to mumble.

Charles looked away, and shrugged distantly.

Like it was nothing, like Erik's whole view of him hadn't changed drastically in a day.

Erik bit back his frustration. -I can't see the memories anymore, but are they still unwinding?"

_Yes._

Erik bit by a retort when Charles' answers were so short. Erik couldn't help but to get more and more irritated all the time. It seemed that a fight was inevitable, and making its way to the surface. But Erik still tried to understand Charles - reliving his memories couldn't be easy. Only yesterday Erik had had to do it himself, and it had tired him and woken old memories he had hoped to forget.

Erik walked closer to Charles. -The telepathy is coming back, isn't it?" he asked quietly, like he didn't already know the answer. He just wanted some proper reaction from Charles.

Charles just nodded.

Erik hated how tired and flegmatic Charles was, but couldn't afford getting angry at him. This was no time to argue, not when Charles was still recovering.

-What...what would you like to do? To get another dose?" Erik suggested, but there were absolutely no arrogance or mockery in his tone. It clearly surprised Charles, Erik could feel it through the link. Something dark flashed in Charles' face, like bitterness.

Erik could feel anger rising - he knew Charles probably thought of him as a hypocrite - now that he had to live through one short moment with telepathy, he seemed to be alright with Charles dosing himself even if he had been so strongly against it before. And Erik understood Charles' anger now, and it made everything feel even more complex. Erik was angry at Charles, and at himself, and it took effort to concentrate.

-Look, let's..Let's just ignore all of this for now," Erik said tightly. -We can talk about this when you're a bit better. But just answer me - do you want me to give you another dose or not?"

_Please say yes_, Erik thought for his own shame. _Gods, let him say yes_, he kept thinking, and tried to simultaneously ease his guilt.

Charles nodded. Erik let out a relieved hiss.

-Alright. Let's get inside, then." he said with as much neutrality as he could muster.

Charles pushed himself up, and his legs shook dangerously as he got up, and Erik hovered next to him. He didn't want to be too pushy, but he feared Charles would fall.

Charles took support from the wall and winced as his feet answered his commands very slowly, and Erik could only stand next to him and try to act normal. Erik almost told him that if he needed help, he only needed to ask, but he kept quiet. Charles was careful not to even glance at Erik - instead, he kept staring at his feet. The atmosphere was filled with a lot of unspoken tension.

Charles' walking was painfully slow and unsteady, and he huffed in frustration at times.

But when they were almost at the door, Charles' right leg gave in and he would have ended up on the ground if Erik hadn't caught him by the arm and pulled him back up. Charles let out a heavy breath, and his grip on Erik's wrist was tight. Suddenly, they were face to face, and so close that Erik's breathing made Charles' hair move lightly in the air.

Erik looked at Charles carefully. He was so close that Erik could make out every detail. Charles looked pale from the strain, but his eyes were as blue as ever, and as stubborn and fierce as always. Erik swallowed, uncertain what to do next. In the end, he forced a neutral look on his face and stiffened.

-We're not in a hurry," he mumbled.

Charles' fingers tightened around his wrist as he turned himself back towards the door. He took another step, and started walking again. He tried to let go of Erik, but lost his balance instantly, so he just gripped Erik's arm again and used him as a support to get inside.

It took a while, but Charles did walk all the way to the bed. Erik pretended not to see his sigh of relief when he finally sat down. Instead, he fetched one of the syringes. Erik's skin had started to itch because of the increasing whispers and voices at the back of his head. The nearest town and city were both far away, like Frost had promised, but it didn't seem to be any problem for Charles. His reach was almost frighteningly wide.

Charles was quiet as Erik took a hold of his healthy arm and pushed his sleeve away carefully. Erik avoided Charles' eyes when he pushed the needle under the skin and emptied the syringe. He also ignored the faint breath of relief Charles let when the liquid disappeared under his skin and as the whispers started to lose their loudest edge.

For once, Erik didn't feel any disapproval towards him. He felt secretly relieved that he didn't have to experience the horrors of last night again.

Erik was once again bothered by his earlier behaviour, and the shame that lurked at the edge of his mind again.

Somehow it was probably for the best that Charles wouldn't be able to hear his thoughts.

* * *

The cabin seemed too quiet again.

Erik felt like that there was a huge distance between him and Charles - so much to talk about and resolve. It couldn't last long this way, Erik knew it, but right now he needed to give Charles time. But it didn't mean that Erik couldn't feel the tension rising and bubbling just under the surface. It would erupt at some point, there was no way stopping it.

Charles laid down on the bed. As minutes passed, the whispers disappeared but Charles' memories got stronger again. He could no longer block them. When Erik caught on, he saw memories of Charles' life after the whole Trask thing. In sudden shock, Erik realized that Charles was getting closer and closer to the Chimera memories, that Charles' brain was catching up to everything that had happened until this day.

Erik sat down on the bed warily.

-Charles. I can see your memories again. And...you're catching up. But...I need to know this - do you remember anything from the past six months?"

Charles looked at him, and frowned.

_I got caught._

Erik nodded, and felt a lump in his throat. -Yes, that's right, but...Do you remember anything about the people that caught you or the place you were in?"

Charles stared at him. _Not really._

Erik was almost happy for that, but at the same time he realized that it only meant that Charles would probably remember too soon. Then the thought hit him. _Dear God. He doesn't remember Hank is dead._

Erik's eyes widened, and he held his breath.

Charles looked at him, questioningly. Suddenly it made sense to Erik why Charles had been so calm and flegmatic all this time. He had been recovering, but he had also no idea what had been done to him back at Chimera.

And as if the universe had a bad sense of humor, it was then when Erik saw strenghtening images of Charles getting caught, and Charles gasped, eyes fluttering shut.

The memories were laced with so much pain and fear that Erik was left breathless too. He had no time to warn Charles.

Suddenly Erik was sucked into the memories, too.

* * *

Beating. Violence. Hank getting tied up in chains.

Charles put into the horrible coffin-like lab table, and lab-coated people sticking the needles and wires into him. Torture. Torment.

The images are blurry, and Erik panics a little, because he remembers too well how Charles had almost killed them both back at the hospital by remembering this.

Then suddenly Hank is being tortured, and they take tests, and they force Charles to search for mutants, give their names and addresses. And sometimes, they force him to make the mutants commit suicide, or make their loved ones to finish the job, and Charles suffers, but the telepath working for the Chimera can't be beaten when Charles is mindcontrolled and tamed by the horrible machines.

The machine forces him to push his reach further.

They make him forget his face, and his name, and tell him he's called Reach.

Days blurring together.

Charles blacking out, never getting proper sleep, pumped full of drugs.

Charles screaming, Charles sent into blackness.

And Hank tortured, and Charles feeling everything in his own skin.

Charles suffering.

Charles wishing someone would help him. Or kill him.

Charles drifting into insanity and back.

* * *

The memories were so strong and horrible that Charles was soon screaming behind their link, and Erik could only sit next to him as the blurry memories went on. But as Charles' telepathy had been now blocked by the serum, the memories weren't nearly as painful as they had been back at the hospital, and Erik was grateful for small miracles. This wouldn't at least physically kill them.

Erik felt helpless as he witnessed the horrors of the Chimera inside of his head, and felt Charles' pain and fear and desperation. And the utter shock of remembering everything he had gone through in those labs.

But Erik could only wait with dread as soon Charles reached the end times of his imprisonment.

And suddenly Erik could pinpoint the moment he and his Brotherhood had set their plan in motion, and Charles had seen it from their heads, and the inner circle of Chimera had escaped from the headquarters. And before they had left, Erik realized in his absolute horror that they had killed Hank only hours before he and his team had arrived - that Hank's death had been caused by the Brotherhood's attack on the headquarters.

And suddenly Erik couldn't breathe, and he wanted to run - because he never had really been close to Hank, but Hank had been really important to Charles, and now it was _Erik's fault_ that Hank was dead. And Erik was almost crushed by the knowledge that there was another more thing added to the rift between him and Charles, and Erik shouted out loud in frustration and anger.

And Charles screamed in his head for the horrible memories, but Erik could only hold on.

Agonizing moments passed, and they felt like hours. But fortunately Charles couldn't really remember anything proper or solid from the labs, and soon the memories themselves were over. When they faded, Erik could only swallow as he felt some of Charles' sorrow bleeding through their link.

And when Erik could fix his eyes again, he blinked and looked down at Charles, who was lying on the bed, eyes squeezed shut. And his pain and grief was so speechless, strong and horrible that it radiated from him and through their link, and Erik felt endless guilt and anger as he could only sit by and watch.

-Charles?," Erik whispered with a broken voice.

Charles was completely still and stiff.

-Charles?" Erik called again and pushed himself forward on the bed.

Then, slowly, Charles started to gasp, and his whole face was scrunched with pain. He gasped like he couldn't breathe, and Erik looked down at him with a pity so strong that he couldn't almost bear it. Then Erik saw tears escaping under Charles' lids, and Erik had to look away for the moment.

Awful seconds passed, the air so thick with shock and disbelief that Erik almost wanted to escape the room.

But Charles was barely hanging on, so Erik just sat next to him, quiet.

_Hank,_ came the heartbreaking and broken thought finally from Charles.

And his tears started to flow harder, and Erik swallowed several times.

He felt vulnerable witnessing Charles' unmasked agony, and he hated the Chimera and he hated himself, and Erik felt so uncomfortable in his own skin and own past deeds that it made him want to smash something to pieces.

Charles let out a sob and opened his eyes. The look in them made Erik's insides turn into knots, and he could feel his eyes burn too.

Charles let out a pained sob, tears flowing heavily, as he looked at Erik._ Is it true?, _he asked, still some desperate, fake hope in his voice.

Erik wanted to say no, but there was no denying the truth. He nodded darkly.

And it broke the dam, and Charles lifted hands to his face and weeped. And Erik reached his hand towards Charles instinctively, but stopped himself and drew it back.

He hated to see Charles like this - he had never witnessed him breaking down like this completely.

Erik felt out of place. He had no idea what he should do, and found only consolation in anger. He wanted to burn the Chimera down to the ground more than ever before, and he swore vengeance at the grim silence of his own mind.

_I'm so sorry,_ Erik said to Charles through their link, because he didn't trust his voice. _I truly am._

Charles only radiated grief and sorrow.

Erik took a shuddering breath. _It was partly our fault_. _They killed Hank because we came to rescue you. They knew we - me and the Brotherhood - were coming because they could see our plan with your telepathy._

Charles didn't answer.

Erik had to brush his eyes angrily._ I'm really sorry, Charles._

He didn't know what else to say.

He wanted to tell Charles that it was the humans that had killed Hank, that this is exactly there could never be peace. That humans couldn't be trusted. But Erik had the decency of staying quiet - he didn't add any more grief to Charles right now. So Erik just sat there, feeling like he wanted to comfort Charles, but couldn't find a way how. Only by promising revenge. He twitched his hands anxiously.

Charles' sobs hadn't quieted at all when his mind replayed the horrible images and memories of Hank getting tortured._ It was my fault, Erik. Mine. I didn't let them use my power so they took it out on Hank._

Erik stared at him and shook his head furiously. _No. NO. This was not your fault, Charles, not in million years. Don't you dare to blame yourself for this. Blame me, or the Chimera. But you couldn't have done anything. I know because I saw what they had done to you. There was no way you could have stopped them._

Charles cried miserably. _You should have left me there. I've caused the deaths of so many. I've done horrible things._

Erik gasped, incredulously. _There was no way in hell I would have left you there. You hear me?_ _And this is NOT your fault, Charles. You were abused, and used like a tool._

Charles shook his head. _I could have fought back harder. I could have done something, anything..._

Erik reached a hand to Charles' wrist, shaking him._ Stop. Just stop it! _

Charles let his hands drop tiredly and he looked at Erik, tears flowing like an endless stream. _I murdered more people than I have even met. Our kind. Mutants. Some of them were still children. Children, Erik! How could I? How could I become such a monster in their hands? I made the mutants kill themselves, or made their parents, or friends or lovers, do it to them. Or then the assasins found them later on. I deserved the torture. All of it._

Erik looked at him in shock, outrageous. -No, Charles," he said aloud._ -_Don't say that. It was never you, it was always them._ They_ used your mind to do it. It was never your choice. Never!"

Charles blinked blearily, and swallowed._ How can I live with myself, Erik? I remember some of their names, faces...And the way they felt when they died._

Erik leant closer and put his hands on Charles' shoulders. He locked his eyes with Charles'. -You will have to try and forget, Charles. This was_ not_ your fault. You would have never done any of it without those fucking bastards. And they will pay for this, I swear it."

Charles panted and closed his eyes again, turning his head to the side. Erik leant closer. Charles curled his fingers on his wrist, so hard it almost hurt.

_Did he...was it quick for Hank?_

Erik swallowed. He tried to forget the rotting and slashed body he had seen, hanging from the heavy chains in the small room. _In the end, I think so._

Charles tried to quiet down his sobs, but they only grew louder. Finally Erik couldn't just sit there and watch, so he decided not to care about any boundaries. He simply lowered himself down next to Charles. Charles curcled instinctively against him, burying his face into Erik's shoulder.

So they lied there together, and Erik knew this was something that would never happen again, that this moment of comfort and its intimacy were a result of Charles' complete breakdown. But for one moment, Erik felt good for being important.

Erik stared at the opposite wall, Charles warm and shaking, almost in an embrace. Grief pulsed through their link.

_Hank tried to get us a deal. But they treated him like an animal._

Erik sighed. He felt Charles' hot breathing through his shirt, erratic and shallow. He felt sick for ever being satisfied that Charles would have to witness imprisonment. He would have given a lot if Charles could have avoided this pain and loss. Now that Erik also knew better than to think that Charles was a stranger to tragedy.

_I'm truly sorry for everything that happened to you, Charles,_ Erik said, and realized he wasn't only talking about the Chimera. He could still see an image of Charles' step-dad dying in the fire, and Charles losing countless soldier friends in the war. And so on. And so on. _You didn't deserve this. None of it._

Once again, Erik felt a huge wave of protectiveness over Charles again. He felt like he had reached some important conclusion in his newly challenged view of Charles.

_I can't do this anymore, Erik._

Erik kept his eyes on the far wall. _Yes you can. You are one of the strongest persons I know,_ he replied and his answer surprised himself, too.

_I'm alone. I will always be alone. Hank was my only friend. He looked after me all those years ago...the mansion was our home. And I trusted him with my life._

Erik was oddly calm when he replied. There was sad nostalgia in his words: _You are not alone, Charles._

Charles' grip on him tightened.

_You are not alone._


	14. Chapter 14

At some point, Erik had fallen asleep.

He was unused to doing it so trustingly. Usually Erik couldn't get any sleep if he knew that there were others in the room, but now he could feel he had gotten several hours of sleep. He opened his eyes blearily and pushed himself up. Erik realized it had been some odd noises that had woken him. Erik narrowed his eyes in confusion as he saw Charles opening drawers and closets further away in the kitchen. There was almost a hysteric shade in his frantic movements.

-What are you doing?" Erik asked tiredly.

Charles barely shot him a glance before he continued. Erik stood up, and immediately sensed that something in the atmosphere had changed.

Charles kept looking around for something, not being too gentle towards any of the furniture. Erik raised an eyebrow. -Is there something you're particularly searching for?"

Charles turned so quickly around that it startled Erik. He threw a look so sharp and irritated at Erik that it caught Erik off-guard. Charles' eyes were blood-shot, and his face had very fraint traces of teartracks in them, but otherwise all of his earlier sorrow and vulnerability were gone. The change was so sudden, that Charles' face almost looked like a mask. Someone who didn't know him might have been tricked to think Charles was calm. But Erik sensed that there was something manic in this seeming calmness. Also, he could feel Charles radiating miserable, strong grief through their link.

_How did we get here?, _Charled asked, without turning his eyes from Erik.

Erik blinked. -We...we teleported."

Charles stared at him, like trying to remember. He threw a glance to the cabin around them. _What is this place?_

Even with his telepathic voice, his tone sounded clipped and angry. Erik was baffled by this sudden change - yesterday Charles had been lethargic and distant, then he had broken down completely when he had learnt of Hank's fate and...now this. Barely controlled irritation? Rage? Erik was confused.

Charles almost glared daggers through the empty space between them, and Erik felt his own features harden. -This is a cabin that Emma Frost got for us. Completely safe and hidden from our enemies." Erik huffed, and couldn't help but to add: -You're welcome."

Charles lifted an eyebrow, and his lips twitched._ Get the teleporter back in here._

Erik's mouth dropped open. -Why?"

Charles swallowed, like trying to keep himself from exploding._ Because, Erik, I want to get the hell out of here._

That stroke a chord somewhere in Erik's chest, and he felt both anger and insecure uncertainty flood to him at the same time. He couldn't help his own tone tightening. -And where, exactly, are you planning to go?" he asked, crossing his arms.

Charles took a deep breath, but didn't answer.

Erik huffed in disbelief. -Firstly, I don't think you're in any condition to go anywhere right now - just two days ago, you almost died on that bed. And just a little time before that, you were still at the hospital. Secondly, the Chimera will still be after us both. Thirdly, we agreed with Leap that he wouldn't come here in a while, not until Frost wants to pay as a visit."

Charles looked unimpressed._ Erik, I know you have a way of getting him here. Do it._

Erik tilted his head. -Or what? You're going to run off into the woods?" he asked, hint of mockery in his voice. Only then he realized what he had implied and reminded of Charles' legs, and the hurt look on Charles' eyes made Erik want to kick himself.

Erik sighed. -Look, Charles...You've...It's a damn miracle you're even alive right now. You're still recovering, and getting both your memory and powers back in such a short time..."

_Save it, Erik_, Charles said. _You can stop with the theatrics._

That caught Erik off-guard, and he looked up, surprised with the sudden hostility. Erik would have never admitted feeling the hurt in his chest, but he did feel it anyway. He bit his lip. He had no idea how the atmosphere in the cabin had turned so quickly around. -What are you on about, Chares?" Erik asked, trying to hold back his irritation.

Charles raised an eyebrow that looked mocking. _You can stop playing dumb. You want to get out of here as much as I do. You've been stuck with me all this time, I bet you're itching to get back to your own plans and getting Brotherhood together - for a killing spree, most likely._

Erik could only stare him in disbelief. He had to blink several times before he could reply. -Charles, that's..." he started but was too stunned to come up with a good reply. And Charles interrupted him.

_Oh please, Erik. There are only two syringes of the serum left, and after that, there's nothing that can block my telepathy. I can't break the link that's between our minds, at least not yet, for some unknown reason, but one things is for sure - if we don't leave, then we might be here for weeks, waiting for to get out. And you, Erik, will be sharing my telepathy in your head soon - after two days when the serum runs out_ - _and something tells me you're not looking forward to do that._

It took a moment from Erik to let it all sink in. But he slowly realized that Charles had a point, but Erik hadn't had time to think it all through.

Charles stared at him for a while, and then let out a tired sigh. He rubbed his temples absent-mindedly. _You want to go our separate ways as soon as possible anyway, so we might as well do it before my powers come back._

Erik looked at him, disbelief and another sting of hurt churning in his chest. Charles seemed automatically think of the worst from him, and Erik felt the old bitterness growing in his heart.

-I'm touched by your concerns for the Brotherhood, Charles, but I hadn't intended to gather them for a while. In fact, I had no plans for them at all. I was too busy keeping you alive," he said.

Charles eyed him darkly. _Well, thank you, Erik. I'm alive, it seems. But Hank is not. Including hundreds of other mutants. _

Erik let out an incredulous gasp. -Are you really doing this? Blaming me for what happened?"

Charles stayed quiet, his grip on the edge of the counter tightening.

Heavy seconds ticked by.

Erik shook his head, anger starting to spark in him. -Well, this is really impressive, even from you, Charles. Really? It's my fault that you got captured? Maybe if you hadn't been dosing yourself with that serum or drinking yourself into oblivion with expensive whiskey, you could have seen them coming for you and Hank in the first place!"

The air electrified frighteningly fast after that. Erik felt his own breathing become ragged, and he knew it was extremely bad idea to do this now, but he couldn't help the anger taking hold.

Charles' eyes narrowed. Erik felt anger and hurt radiating through their link, but now it was mutual. _You surely took your time getting there, Erik. I was there for months._

Erik couldn't help but to let out a bitter, joyless laugh. -Months? Are you kidding me? I was in a padded prison for TEN YEARS, waiting for you to come for me, Charles. I was blamed for a crime I didn't do, forbidden from all human contact and even goddamn sunlight. Do you really have the nerve to blame me for not saving you earlier? I could have not come at all!"

Charles'e eyes flashed dangerously. _Oh, but that would have not suited you, now would it? I was too much of a risk in the organization's hands, because I could kill mutants without batting an eyelid. You couldn't have that, just like you couldn't allow Raven to kill Trask. Tell me, Erik, what was it that made you to get me out of there alive? What stopped you from simply putting a bullet into my head like you had planned for Raven? I'm curious. I bet you would have basked in your self-pity for years to come, feeling wronged that you had to kill me. You would have turned my murder into one of your personal tragedies, and found justification to kill more humans because of it. But maybe I'm too precious to lose, now that you have seen the true extent what I can do._

Erik could only stare at him mouth open, astonished. He closed his mouth, then opened it again, searching for words, but he was too outraged by what Charles had said - even dared to _imply_. It insulted Erik so heavily that Charles was even capable of seeing Erik so cold and ruthless, so...monstrous.

Erik could feel his hands starting to shake from anger. -How can you...how can you even think that?" he hissed through clenched teeth. -That I...that I what? See you merely as a weapon? And asset? That I don't give a shit about you living or dying?"

Something uncertain and sad flickered on Charles' face. _That was the case with Raven, no matter how long you had known her._

Erik felt a distant stab of guilt, but it was easily overcome by his rage. He shook his head, still utterly astonished that they had already gotten back into this...All this hurt, blame, and tension. Erik hated it. He had expected something different, after everything he had...After how much Erik's views had changed. After how much he had protected Charles from harm.

Erik had to turn his back on Charles, breathing hard, trying to gather his self-control. He couldn't look at Charles in the face right now. Erik hated how his voice shook when he spoke for the next time: -I saved your life, Charles. What happened with Raven has nothing to do with this. If you truly think that I would have simply shot you back at the Chimera's headquarters instead of getting you out, then I don't even know what to say."

Charles was quiet.

Erik hated how his throat tightened. He stared at the far wall, seeing nothing. He was utterly glad Charles couldn't read his mind - how little, dirty and hurt he felt. Kicked. Erik had never shown so much warmth and vulnerability towards anyone else, and he felt like Charles just kept throwing it to his face, time after time.

Long, heavy seconds passed.

Their link was straining under hurt and sorrow from both sides.

Erik couldn't stand the suffocating silence, and his anger was turning into red, hot fire. He tried to calm himself, but Charles' words had been like gasoline that had lit all of Erik's insecurities into flames. He needed to get out. Erik was just about to move when he caught the faintest tug of fear from Charles' end.

_Erik,_ Charles suddenly called through their link, with a shaky tone.

When Erik swirled around, face twisted with anger, he snapped: -What?" but his anger dropped as he saw that the kitchen had suddenly turned into a dangerous metal jungle. Every piece of metal from the drawers - kitchen knives, spoons, pots - had lifted themselves up in the air and they were floating all around Charles, stopping him from moving, blades and sharp edges dangerously close to his skin.

Erik stared at the image before him, startled by his own powers getting out of hand because of strong emotions, and feeling a stab of fear.

For a moment, Erik held his breath, and the metal hummed as an answer to his anger, ready to slash and rip and tear, but Erik shot his power out almost with a panicked gesture. Instantly, every object drew away from Charles before they all fell to the floor with clanging sound.

Charles looked down at the spot they had fallen, looking pale.

Despite his earlier anger, Erik stepped instantly further and forgot everything else for a moment. He scanned Charles with his eyes. -Are you alright?" he breathed out, slight knot in his stomach.

Charles just stared at the kitchen knives, frozen.

Erik's heart jumped for the silence, and he stepped forward, trying to find any injuries. -Charles, answer me. Are you hurt?"

Slowly, Charles turned to look at Erik, and his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. He clutched at his left hand, and Erik spotted something red on the palm. Erik cursed in German. -_Verdammt._ I'm...I'm sorry," Erik mumbled, and stepped closer, banging his foot on some spoons.

Charles shook his head, looking numb, almost turning away. _It's alright._

Erik bit his lip. -No, it's not. It's not okay," he said, and somehow he realized he wasn't really even talking about the metal.

Erik sighed, and tried to push the rest of his restless thoughts to the side. -Let me at least take a look." he said.

Charles lifted his hand obediently, and Erik took it between his own and observed the wound. Just a scratch from a knife or other sharp object, but it was bleeding a little.

-Fortunately we have so much bandages in here that we can start to sell them," Erik said lamely, trying to ease the tension.

But somehow Charles was radiating more and more dark sorrow, and physical contact just made Erik feel it more strongly.

Now that Erik was so close, he realized Charles was barely keeping it together. His jaw was tight, like he was holding back tears.

Erik felt even more awful about everything as before. -Come on. Let's get this cleaned." he said quietly.

_It's nothing._

Erik sighed. -It isn't 'nothing'. The last thing we want is you to get an infection or something," Erik argued, even if the wound was barely a scratch, and he didnt' feel the passion that his worlds held.

The atmosphere turned more and more sour, and the silence felt thick.

Charles swallowed hard, still looking stubbornly away, like he couldn't meet Erik's eyes._ I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened, Erik. I'm the only one to blame._

Erik shifted his weight. -Charles..."

_No, you're right. I should have seen them coming, before they caught Hank and me. If I just..._

-Stop," Erik snapped. He instantly cursed himself for saying anything so harsh to Charles - he was still a wreck from learning about Hank's death and remembering everything that had happened. -It's no use to speculate what might or could have happened. It won't change anything."

Charles drew a breath that almost sounded like a sob. Wave of grief from Charles' end of their link hit Erik. _You should have left me there, Erik. _

Erik tightened his grip on Charles' wrist angrily. -Shut up. I didn't force you to survive just so you could live in self-pity. I don't want to hear another word about this, Charles. You're alive, and that's what matters." he muttered.

_You don't understand,_ Charles answered, and suddenly he was radiating loneliness, so deep and empty that Erik would have caught it without their skin-to-skin contact. In addition, Erik caught the faintest image in Charles' imagination of the deadly silent and empty mansion through their link.

And Erik finally realized Charles was already thinking what losing Hank meant. Complete isolation. Loneliness. Solitude. All of it, spent in horrible guilt and agony in the enormous, hollow mansion.

Erik nudged Charles' wrist lightly. -Come on. Let's get this cleaned."

And slowly, Charles followed Erik's lead. As soon as they had stepped far enough, Erik let all the objects flow at least decently to the table, even if he couldn't return them all of them to their original places.

He pushed Charles to sit on the couch, and disappeared to the other room to get the medical supplies. Erik was a lot more comfortable at having something to do - it made him feel like he could actually be helpful. He had never enjoyed staying still and doing nothing at all.

Charles sat on the couch, but Erik felt like he was thousand miles away. He looked so tired, and not nearly all of it seemed to be physical. It was like Charles was years older than he actually was, and Erik didn't like to witness it. After the easy and warm smiles Charles had shown him during his time as an amnesiac, everything now looked grim or forced.

Erik did his work in silence, cleaning the small cut with antiseptic.

-How are you feeling?" he finally asked, quiet. The unspoken things hung in the air. The Chimera. Hank. All of it.

Charles sighed and sank deeper into the couch. But he didn't answer. Erik decided to try another way.

-Is there a particular reason why you're not talking aloud at all?" Erik asked, glancing at him.

Charles lifted an eyebrow.

Erik huffed. -In case you haven't noticed, you still haven't said anything aloud. You've been talking straight into my head."

_Does it bother you?_

Erik's lips twitched. -That's not what I meant."

_So it doesn't bother you._

Erik rolled his eyes. -You're avoiding my question, Charles. So once again - is there a particular reason why you're talking to me telepathically?"

Charles managed to flash the weakest of smiles. _Does it particularly bother you that I do?_

Erik froze for a moment, staring at Charles. There was almost something like amusement on Charles' face. Now Erik couldn't help but to flash a wry smile. -No. It doesn't. I'm...I'm used to it by now."

Charles tilted his head, an unspoken question on his face.

-You used to talk to me all the time back at the hospital," Erik explained. -So it doesn't bother me, not anymore. As long as you don't take control over my limbs at the most random times, it's all fine."

Charles' eyes widened just a little._ I did that?_

Erik smiled a little. -Yeah. Several times," he said lightly and continued his work, until he felt shame coming from Charles' end of the link. He looked up. Charles looked somewhat scandalized.

Erik's brows furrowed. -I didn't say it like it's a bad thing. I mean, not that it's a good thing either, but..." he realized he was rambling.

Charles casted his eyes down. _I'm sorry. I haven't done that in years. It's very intrusive._

Erik almost chuckled out loud. Charles was being ridiculously serious about this. Always so polite. Always so careful not to manipulate anyone. -It's fine. If you don't make me run a marathon during the night hours, or make me think I'm a squirrel, it's all good. I know you didn't do it on purpose."

Charles still looked guilty.

Erik wanted nothing more to ease the atmosphere. -Come on, the squirrel thing was almost hilarious. Even if I don't want you getting any ideas."

Charles flickered his eyes to Erik's, searching his face, tired curiosity in his face. It was like he hadn't remembered this side of Erik, like all the anger and bitterness had washed it away during the years they had been apart. And when Erik was honest to himself, he had also forgotten it himself. He had almost forgotten he had an actual sense of humor, as lame as it sounded. And the fact that he was using it to cheer Charles up was rather...thought-provoking.

Erik almost felt flushed under Charles' gaze, so he turned to look down again. The bandage was almost ready - and it might have been a bit of an over-reaction to take care of the cut so well, but at least Erik had something to do. And he did feel bad for lashing out - he might have been angry, but it didn't mean he had intended to hurt Charles.

A silence fell, but this time it wasn't an uncomfortable one.

* * *

After Erik finished his work, and put all of the supplies neatly back into their boxes.

Then he walked around to place them on a further table. Erik hesitated whether he should go back or stay where he was. In the end, he just walked back and sat next to Charles, and Charles didn't even pay any attention to his hesitation. Charles seemed to stare into nothingness, and Erik could sense that he was slipping into melancholy again.

Erik wanted to say something, anything, to keep Charles talking, but there were so many things he couldn't mention without it leading to another fight.

-So, your thesis. I saw you writing it in your memories. What was it about?" Erik asked, aiming for a conversational tone.

The question came so out of the blue that even Charles turned to look at him, confused._ What?_

-Your thesis, back at the university. It was something about mutations, right? Did you ever finish it?"

Charles just stared at him like he had just grown two extra heads.

Erik sighed. -I'm just...interested. What you found out. Or what kind of feedback you got."

He knew he was being a bit desperate, and that his attempt was shaky at its best.

Charles kept staring at him. Then something akin to a sad smile crossed his features. _Thank you, Erik, but...You don't need to do this._

Erik was about to argue, but realized that he couldn't convince Charles that he had suddenly become interested in his thesis for real. So he just sighed. -I would have listened," he said, lifting his hands defensively to the air.

Charles looked at him almost fondly, before even the smallest joy faded from his face and eyes and turned sour again. His eyes dropped.

Erik felt infuriatingly helpless. It was easier to yell and be angry, but he was hopeless with this. But Erik didn't want another fight, yet he couldn't come up with anything else to say. Charles was projecting grief again, so strong that the link carried it through.

-I'm going to make us some food," Erik finally said and got up.

* * *

As long as Erik had something to do, it was all bearable again.

He made food, and set a plate in front of Charles. He almost had to threaten to use his powers and make a spoon spoon-fed Charles if he didn't do it himself, so Charles did eat at least something.

Erik busied himself with cleaning up, going outside for a small while, and then coming back to make coffee.

When he finally came back with two steaming mugs, he turned to see Charles had fallen asleep on the couch. Erik stopped on his tracks and quietly turned around.

The other cup and its contents turned cold soon, but Erik didn't mind. He drank his own in silence.

* * *

The nurses came again, but Erik turned them away. He also dared to go out for a while and stretch his legs, enjoying the fresh air.

Erik hadn't realized that he could actually miss the sound of birds or seeing the sky and trees, but spending so many years in the overly lighted, padded prison had made him grateful for small things.

Soon, Erik came back. Charles was still asleep on the couch, even if he had slumped deeper into the cushions.

Erik took time to clean all the remaining metal parts in the kitchen, bothered by how his powers could still get out of control like this when he was emotionally compromised.

Night started to get closer, but Erik didn't want to wake up Charles any sooner than he had to. Charles clearly hadn't slept much last night, so he could use the rest.

As hours passed, Erik started to receive projections from Charles. Images and flashes from the Chimera labs. And so many of Hank, filled with warmth and mourning.

Soon, the whispers started to kick in too. Erik felt anxious, and like his skin was already crawling with insects, and he once again hated himself for dreading the telepathy so much. But despite their fight earlier, Charles had been right - Erik really hadn't given the future much thought. They only would have one syringe left after today, and then they would run out. And Charles' telepathy would return with full force, and Erik feared that he would end up a screaming mess on the cabin's floor, because while Charles might have been used to this, Erik certainly wasn't, and no amount of blocking and shielding Charles might be able to do would stop it completely reaching Erik.

Erik hated to loathe Charles' power, but couldn't help it.

But he also knew that whatever they would decide to do, it would very likely spark another fight. Not to mention all the other things that still hung unresolved between them.

And Erik was tired of fighting, he really was. Charles could drive him to the walls so easily, and it was infuriating how complicated Erik's emotions and feelings could be towards him.

* * *

Whispers grew louder. More of them joined in.

Charles started to shift in his dreams, too, but didn't wake up yet. Instead, his projections became clearer, and Erik saw glimpses of himself from Charles' point of view. Erik saw himself smiling his wry smile through Charles' eyes, and it was confusing to witness.

But soon, Charles dreamt of Hank again, and even Raven.

And Erik didn't want to open that can of worms right now, so he tried his best to ignore it all for now.

As time passed, Charles' telepathic reach expanded and the whispers started slowly turning into voices and sensations. Erik guessed that these people were most likely from the nearest city - and it had to be far away like Leap had said. Erik briefly wondered just how wide Charles' reach was, if pushed to the limit. Far greater than anyone else's, at least.

But Erik started to feel edgy and jumpy, and the voices made him want to constantly scratch his brain from the inside out. Like Charles had said, the telepathy's progress was much slower and neutral than the sudden shift that had happened earlier, but it was still far from pleasant. It was like coming down with a bad cold.

Finally, Erik walked reluctantly to the couch and shook Charles' shoulder lightly.

-Charles. Wake up," he called.

Nothing.

-Charles."

More projections of Hank. Erik could feel exhaustion coming from Charles through their link, too - he got tired so easily, even after all this time, and no matter how long he had already slept.

-Charles, come on," Erik said, louder. Then Charles frowned, half-asleep.

_Stop,_ he mumbled drowsily to Erik's head, but to Erik's horror, his whole body froze, _stopped_, just like Charles had commanded.

Erik couldn't move an inch. He was like a bad statue, only capable of breathing in and out.

Erik felt endlessly grateful for their link right now, and refused to freak out, as much as his natural instinct was tempting him to. _Charles, wake up!_

_No,_ came the reply.

Erik might have found amusement from Charles acting like a five-year-old in some other situation, but right now he was starting to get more and more anxious.

_Charles! Wake up right now!_, Erik sent forward as hard and loud he could.

_I said STOP,_ Charles replied with irritation. Erik felt a strong hum going through their link and Charles' telepathy, like a power blast, but Erik paid a little attention to it.

_You have stopped me already. Now get up._

Erik stared at Charles, body starting to ache already from the immobility.

_Charles Xavier, wake up this instant!, _Erik roared through their link.

That finally roused Charles, and he blinked tiredly his eyes. It took a moment from him to adjust, and Charles looked up to Erik. He raised an eyebrow, confused of Erik's unmoving face.

_Erik?_

_Well good morning, Charles. Can you please let me move?_, Erik said as neutrally as he managed.

It took a moment from Charles to sink in. Then he gasped. _Oh no, I did it again, didn't I?_

Erik felt the urge to roll his eyes, but naturally couldn't. _Obviously. Now, movement, please?_

_Right,_ Charles said, and clearly tried to find a right command. He scanned Erik and then tried: _Move?_

But it came out like a question, and didn't change anything. Erik was really getting irritated. _Not working_, he said like it wasn't obvious._ Maybe really try this time?_, Erik asked dryly.

Charles shot him a look, before he concentrated. He reached to grab Erik's wrist. _Freed, _he said.

Then Erik almost fell forward as control came back to his body. He swayed on his spot before he regained his balance.

-Thanks," Erik said, some sarcasm flowing from his voice.

But the way Charles looked pained made Erik's anger fade. _I'm sorry, _Charles said.

Erik sighed. _I know._

Charles swallowed and his brows furrowed, and he looked like he was listening for a moment. _Can you hear them too?_ , he finally asked.

Erik nodded grimly. It was hard not to - they were getting so loud. Charles let his head drop back to the couch again. _I've been asleep too long. Why didn't you wake me up earlier?_

-Maybe I enjoyed playing a rag doll for a while," Erik mumbled, but it didn't light up the atmosphere. The voices were strong, and it made it hard to concentrate. Erik already felt like he wanted to crawl somewhere deep into the earth so he wouldn't have to listen, but he tried to ignore the urge.

Charles closed his eyes for a moment. He hesitated. _I think I've lost my legs already,_ he told Erik quietly, sounding somehow insecure.

Erik forced himself to act normal. -Alright. Do you...do you want to stay here or will you let me take you to the bed?"

Charles probably would have liked to say that he didn't want to be moved, but Erik guessed that the narrow sofa couldn't be so comfortable in the longer run.

Charles' jaw tightened and he opened his eyes again. _I'd prefer the bed._

Erik just nodded. Charles pushed himself up to sit, wincing as his other shoulder still reminded him of itself. Erik refused to let the never-ending guilt into his mind, because he knew that Charles' telepathy was getting stronger all the time and that his thoughts weren't that private any more. Now it was not the time to think of Cuba.

So Erik just crouched down and lifted Charles up. He wasn't even heavy to carry. But some of Charles' own insecurity reached Erik - feeling self-aware of getting carried like this.

_You could have gotten me a chair here,_ Charles said reluctantly.

_I intended to, but I got interrupted,_ Erik replied.

Charles didn't answer.

Erik set him down on the bed carefully, but didn't linger there a second longer than necessary. He tried to be casual about it, wanting to avoid any old guilt or hatred stirring in either of them. Then he fetched one syringe. Erik got back to the bed, and searched Charles' face for a moment. Charles just nodded, so Erik pushed the syringe down, still disbelieving that this day would come when he would willingly block someone's powers. But soon the voices were diminished to whispers, and Erik felt horrible for rejoicing.

The silence was once again like a gift.

Even if held so many unsaid things, too.

* * *

Erik was under no illusion - there would be another fight. The one they had had in the morning was just a tired quirrel compared to the pent emotions that had been building up for years. They would detonate at some point, it was inevitable.

But right now, the silence between them was almost comfortable again, and Erik absorbed the feeling.

When Charles soon fell asleep again, Erik spend some time just watching him. It was odd how they were like fire and gunpowder together - neutral and natural when they were at peace, but destructive when they collided.

But somehow, Erik got the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Charles still cared about him enough to fight with him. To try and resolve things. To...maybe get some sort of truce.

Oddly, Erik found a lot of things bubbling right under his skin, ready to unlock his rage and all of the unsaid things, but somehow his rage had grown a little dull. Erik couldn't really pinpoint the moment it had happened, but...Seeing Charles' memories...Witnessing his powers...Spending time with him without any crisis around them...

It seemed it was true what they said then, Erik thought to himself. It was hard to completely hate someone when you started to understand them.

Long after Charles had fallen asleep again, Erik stayed up in the comfortable darkness, thinking. Listening to Charles breathing. Guarding.

It was strange, but for the longest time in his life, Erik didn't feel out of place.


	15. Chapter 15

Erik woke to Charles' screaming.

Erik startled from his dreams, hurried to sit, powers ready to draw any metal he could for an attacker. Erik blinked, and scanned the room frantically, while litting up the night lamp. The light seemed too bright and Erik had to narrow his eyes for the sudden change. But Erik couldn't see anyone in the cabin, and he turned hastily to Charles.

It was only then when he realized Charles wasn't even awake.

He was lying on the bed, face almost buried to the blankets, panting and grunting like he was in pain. Erik stared at him, then back to the room, but soon his alarmed state started to dull. Erik realized Charles was screaming inside his own head, through their link, while dreaming.

Erik slumped back to the bed, tired. He turned to Charles, shaking him a little, thankful that Charles couldn't freeze him or anything else right now.

-Charles," Erik mumbled with a hoarse voice. -It's just a nightmare."

He shook Charles a little more, and slowly, Charles fluttered his eyes open just a little. The screaming faded from Erik's mind, even if it left dull echo behind. Charles blinked and glanced at Erik, then closed his eyes again, hurrying to avoid Erik's eyes.

It took several minutes before his breathing got back to normal.

Erik waited.

There were no words said.

Soon, Erik let himself fall back to the bed. Sometime after, he turned the lamp off with a simple yank by its metal switch.

He stared into the dark ceiling for a long time.

* * *

Before the morning came, Charles woke up Erik two other times, screaming and bleeding grief through their link.

Erik woke him both times, wordlessly.

* * *

It was almost a relief to wake up - for a change - to the sounds of Charles moving in the cabin.

Erik got up, and as he searched for a bottle of water, something in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Charles was moving around further away in the room, and it disturbed Erik to see that Charles was slower and unsteadier than before, as if his legs weren't working as well as they should.

_You're awake_, Charles said without turning around.

Erik raised an eyebrow - it hadn't seemed like Charles had actually seen him waking up. -I am." he said.

Something in Charles radiated anxiety and worry, and it drew Erik's brain to a more alerted state. Charles kept tapping his fingers on several surfaces as he moved further away in the room, not really looking like he was searching anything, just pacing around. Erik watched him for a moment in silence, and felt the lightests tugs in their link.

-What are you doing?" he asked.

_Trying to make sense of the link between our minds_, Charles replied.

Erik stretched his arms and chose not to say anything more. But at the same time, Charles almost stumbled on his own feet, but stopped himself from falling by grabbing a hold of a counter.

Erik's eyes shot towards him, and he was about to ask, but Charles interrupted him.

_I'm fine._

Erik's face twisted. He hated to say it out loud, but felt like he didn't have any other choice: -Your walking doesn't look fine."

Only then Charles turned around and shot him a dark look.

Erik felt tension starting to crawl into the room. -I_ mean_...Considering it's just the morning." Erik mumbled reluctantly.

_My tolerance for the serum is growing all the time. The time it stays effective is getting shorter._

Erik felt a nasty wave of rejection for the thought. -So your telepathy is getting already stronger?"

_Yes,_ Charles replied.

Erik swallowed. -How long?"

_There'll be some hours. Maybe until afternoon._

There was another tensed silence. Erik chose his words carefully: _We have only one syringe left after that._

Charles stopped dead on his tracks. Slowly, he turned on his heels and faced Erik. There was something dangerous in the way his eyes flashed. He looked exhausted from the lack of sleep and nightmares, all the sorrow, grief and pain shining from his face darkly. He looked like a mess, and there was something haunted in his eyes.

_Yes, that's right, Erik. Only one syringe left. Then I will get my powers back, _Charles said. Erik would have had to be blind and deaf to ignore the barely contained frustration in Charles' fone. _For good. Tell me, how do you feel about that?_

Erik refused to look away. He kept his face unmoving. -It doesn't matter what I think. It will happen anyway," he said.

Charles huffed through his nose._ Let's not play this game, Erik. There's no way you are going to just sit in this cabin with me for days or weeks to come, whining in pain and holding your ears day and night._

Erik's face hardened. -What makes you so sure that I'm not able to handle it?" he shot back angrily, too proudly, even if he was painfully aware how right Charles was.

Charles shook his head with pity. _Because you caught a glimpse of what being a telepath is like, Erik, and you didn't like what you saw. I might have had that serum running in my veins most of the time, but your disgust towards my powers is rather hard to miss._

Erik gritted his teeth. He knew this was his opportunity to admit that he had been wrong about Charles and his powers before, all those years, but somehow his anger and pride had lifted their ugly heads and had taken a hold of him. He couldn't stand Charles' condescending tone, it just fueled his irritation.

Erik was quiet, because he couldn't figure out what to say. He tried not to give in the urge to fight, no matter how it was lurking right beneath the surface.

Charles huffed bittersweetly._ Lovely, this. You always had the nerve to judge and_ _act arrogant, but now look at you. It must be hard facing the reality of certain things, Erik, _he said, like talking to a naive child.

-Are you just looking for a fight now?" Erik asked, voice getting tighter.

_Are you just trying to come up with an excuse of not telling me what you're planning to do to me?_

Erik raised both of his eyebrows. -To do to y-...Why would...What the hell makes you think that this is some sick prisoner situation?" Erik asked, now pushing himself to stand.

Charles' silence was even worse than any nasty reply.

Rage started to bubble under Erik's skin. -I _saved_ your life, Charles. You were a bloody mess when I dragged you out of there. You couldn't even remember who you were. The only reason you're still standing there is the fact that I let you inside my head, to hold onto it like a damn lifeline. "

Charles glared at him. _Yes, well, I'm currently trying to find out how the link is formed, since I can't remember the actual moment it was made. But as soon as I do figure it out, I'll make sure to break it. Then you can free of me again, Erik, and run off after your Brotherhood._

Erik narrowed his eyes, all of his hidden hurt only building his anger up. After all, he _had_ went after Charles to save him, had taken off his helmet and let Charles use his head as a hiding place, watched and guarded him, taught him his name and face, taken care of him...Seen and learnt so much. And all he got in return was rejection, accusations and coldness? Erik knew Charles was hurting from all the pain and loss that Chimera had caused, but he had no right to take it out on Erik.  
Especially so cruelly. Erik wasn't good at being understanding and patient in the longer run. And right now, his grip on his shaky calmness was slipping, and his rage had a bad habit of getting out of control when once unleashed.

The air in the cabin seemed to have suddenly turned as cold as ice.

-It seems no matter what I do, it's never good enough for you, Charles," Erik spat out. -You act like you're some kind of a saint, or a savior, but you've never lifted even a finger to help our cause. You've stood by, drinking whiskey, while we have been fighting a war."

Charles let out a mocking breath._ YOUR cause, Erik. Not ours. And YOUR war, not the mutant kind's._

Erik stepped closer, open hostility in his face now. -Who are you to tell me that? Who are you to determine what is right and what is wrong? You only got involved in things when you had absolutely no other choice, when Logan forced you to intervene with the way the future is being shaped."

Charles stared at him, several emotions written on his face.

Erik swallowed several times, trying to tone down his anger. Few seconds passed. Then Erik looked at Charles, in almost helpless, pleading eyes. -Your power...you could do so much with it. You could put an end to all of our sufferings just by altering people's views about us, by making them see the truth. You could just snap your fingers and this war would be over. You could do it without violence or blood-shed - like you've always wanted - because Charles, your telepathic reach is incredible. You could just touch all of their minds..."

The way Charles' face filled with utter shock and disgust made Erik stop talking. _You'd want me to play god? Is that it? You'd want me to become a dictator, a fucking tyrant?! What makes you any better than the Chimera, Erik, for wanting to use me like a tool to get what you want? Do you really think that slavery is an answer?_

Erik started to see red, he was so insulted and outraged. -Don't you dare to compare me to those monsters, Charles! You are just a coward who refuses to see the bigger picture. I thought that spending some time in those labs would have opened your eyes, but apparently I was wrong. Peace will _never_ be an option. There will always be people that hate us, who want to destroy us. There will always be more Chimeras or governments that will hunt us like animals. You could change it all, Charles, if you only abandoned your damn halo and stopped acting like a saint!"

Charles shook his head furiously. _That is never going to happen, Erik! Manipulating and controlling humans like that would only breed more fear and hatred towards us. They would turn against us sooner or later, and want to destroy us, if we started controlling them like a herd of kettle. We are not any different from them; we are not more precious or better. You'd want humans to fear and worship us, like you want everyone to do to you, instead of making the humans see the truth and accept us as we are - exactly like them, with a slight mutation in our genes. _

Erik threw his hands to the air, shaking from the endless frustration and anger. -You are so damn stupid, Charles! How can...How can you still hold onto that childish belief? Didn't they torture you enough? Didn't they stick needles into you, or slashed Hank's skin deep enough to make you see? You are defending your own captors, for God's sakes! You have a continous and severe Stockholm syndrome with the human race, Charles, and you just can't let it go. They are NOT equals with us. They are right to fear us, because we _are_ better. More evolved. More powerful. Better, in every way. We are the future. It's just evolution - the best ruling out the weak."

Charles' mouth dropped open, and he gasped for air in shock. _Don't you realize who you sound like? You, out of all people. You, Erik, should be able to remember and understand what you're suggesting. You, who has seen the true extent of what 'evolution' can be made into._

Erik almost lost his complete self-control. -Don't you fucking dare to go there, Charles!" he said, and stepped so close to Charles that he could feel his own breathing bouncing back to him. He was now towering over Charles, but Charles didn't flinch backwards. He only momentarily glanced to Erik's side, then back at him.

Charles lifted an eyebrow. _And now what, you are going to punch me? Is that it? Your solution to everything?_

Erik realized he had lifted his fist and arm into the air instinctively, and he quickly dropped them. In any other situation, he might have felt bad for becoming violent, but right now he was too lost in his rage to feel guilty. Erik took a breath, some long and heavy passing.

He felt a flicker of disappointment, of years old ache and yearning in his chest. He looked at Charles, almost sad. -We could be unbeatable together, Charles. We could put a stop to all of this."

Charles blinked, and the same sorrow flashed in his face. _No, Erik. That might have been the case once, but you refused to take it. You took everything I held dear, and turned it bad._

-YOU were the one that turned your back on _me_!", Erik shouted, hating how a stab of hurt only added the painful sting in his chest, how it almost made his eyes burn.

Charles glared at him, narrowing his eyes. _You left me lying on a beach, Erik, paralyzed and bleeding. You took my sister away from me, and you made her into one of your tools, and tried to kill her the moment she wasn't useful to you anymore. Just because you said you were sorry while aiming a bullet to her head doesn't make it okay. And you killed all of those people and called it justice. You never visited me, when I was lying in the hospital for months, going through several surgeries, and couldn't even sit up without help. It was you, Erik. You, not me._

Erik fought back his urge to throw a punch, because as much as he tried to be angry, Erik _did_ feel guilty for every thing Charles had said. After all, he had seen glimpses of Charles' pain and anger from his memories from the times he had just referred to. Erik held his breath for a while, feeling like his blood would boil soon.

Charles looked at him, sad and pitying. _So, please tell me why should I believe you only came to get me from the labs for my own sake? Why would I be any different than Raven in your life - meaningless, disposable, but useful? Even now, you only see me as a tool, Erik. A tool to make yourself a god. As soon as I stop being useful to you or refuse to help you, what then? Why do you think that anything between us has changed?_

-I SAVED your life!" Erik roared, voice cracking.

Charles lifted an eyebrow. _Why?_

Erik stared at him, incredulous. -Why? Why - are you really asking me _why_?" he hissed. All of the warmth and protectiveness he had shown Charles seemed to be all in vain, and Erik could only shake from the anger.

_Yes, Erik, I'm really asking you why? Or isn't it true that you only came after me because you knew I was too dangerous in the Chimera's hands? That you couldn't let them have me?_

Hot tears tried to make their way into Erik's eyes, but he forced them away by sheer willpower. He wanted to scream out, to make Charles see, _understand_, but he couldn't form even a word from his mouth, that's how angry Erik was.

Charles shook his head sadly._ I know why, Erik. Because you didn't save my life for my sake. You saved me for YOU._

Erik was speechless. There wasn't even a way he could have put his disappointment and hurt into words - to express how deeply it cut to hear such poisonous words from Charles, to realize how monstrous and cold Charles considered him to be. Ruthless, selfish monster. That Charles really thought that Erik only saw him as an object...That Erik didn't hold any sentiment towards him, that it was all just schemes and manipulation.

Erik gasped air in, having no choice but to look away in absolute disbelief. He was certain that some of his emotions had to radiate through their link, but Erik didn't care.

-Maybe I should have left you in there, then," Erik said venomously, as he stepped backwards. He turned to devour the flicker of surprise in Charles' face. Erik absorbed it, because it felt good to hurt him at least partly as much as Charles' words hurt him.

-Maybe I only came for you because I wanted to have such a powerful weapon to myself," Erik spat, feeling how the air between them turned colder and the distance longer. -Maybe I thought that you could bring the world to its knees while sipping your afternoon tea. Maybe I did desire that. You would like that, wouldn't you Charles? You want me to be the power-thirsty killer that you've considered me to be, because then it means you get to stay in the shadows and bask in your holy glory. You get to be the martyr, the damn messiah, without ever doing a thing for our cause."

Heavy silence followed.

Erik felt a lump in his throat. Metal in the cabin hummed back to him, answered his emotional storm, but Erik refused to listen. He stared at Charles while taking slow steps backwards. Erik felt distantly afraid of his anger overflowing, because he could really hurt Charles if it did, and no matter how angry Erik was, he didn't want that. Not really. And that was the very fact that made everything even harder than it already was.

Charles didn't say anything, and his face was unreadable.

Erik toyed with the idea of playing his part - of becoming the villain Charles made him to. But in the end, Erik had seen and experienced too much, had learnt so much about Charles through his memories and their time spent together, that something in him stopped him from proving Charles right. Erik almost wanted to be Magneto in the worst kind of way, but somehow, something childish and needy in Erik still reached for Charles' acceptance. Something he had never had. So, almost reluctantly, Erik swallowed heavily and spoke once more. This time his voice was quiet.

-You are _not_ Raven, Charles. You never where, and you never will be. I always considered you more important to me. Closer, dearer than anyone else. It never even crossed my mind to kill you, not even back at the Chimera labs, where I could have easily just stood by and let you bleed out or watch your mind turning it onself. Or I could have just left you in the hospital as an amnesiac for the rest of your life. I realize what a fool I have been, for ever thinking that we could work together. For thinking that you wouldn't hate me forever for what happened in Cuba. For considering me _worse_ than the humans. It was my own stupid, naive hope that saw something great in you, instead of the scared coward you really are."

And with those words, Erik turned around to storm out of the cabin. But then,

_puff._

Suddenly Erik was stopped by Leap suddenly appearing out of nowhere right in front of him.

-Woah!" Leap said, clearly surprised too. -Man, sorry Magneto, I almost teleported into your face." he said, and chuckled. -I've sometimes wondered if I could just teleport accidentally inside somebody's body you know, mistaking the place. I wonder what would happen. Would we turn into jelly, or become like an octopus or what? Not that I'd want that to happen, but anyway..." Leap blabbed good-heartedly.

Only then he noticed Charles.

-Hey man, you're walking! I thought you said he was a cripple?" he said and turned to Erik. When Erik only radiated barely contained anger, Leap seemed to realize the atmosphere in the cabin was far from welcoming.

-Umm...sorry if I interrupted something," he said awkwardly, and shifted his weight.

Erik squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. -What do you want?" he asked, not too kindly, barely containing all of his emotional whirldwind.

Even Leap jumped a little for his tone. -Well, uh..." he started slowly, then glanced at Charles.

-He can understand what I'm saying, right?" Leap asked from Erik, looking suspicious.

-YES, he can understand you. Now talk," Erik snapped.

Leap lifted his hands into the air. -Okay, just making sure. Sorry," he said over-dramatically. Then he seemed to search for the right words. He turned somber. -Actually, Emma sent me here. Apparently, yesterday evening everyone in the city closeby just FROZE for a few minutes. I'm not kidding! They like...totally stopped everything they were doing, like those things they do on movies."

Erik had to take a moment to process of what was being said, until it started to slowly dawn on him.

Leap just shook his head, astonished. -Yeah, yeah, exactly. Man there were like hundred car crashes and people getting run over and stuff like that. Some of them even died!" the teleporter exlaimed, excitedly, like it was the best gossip he had heard for a while.

But then it clicked in Erik's head. He could Charles' sleepy voice: "_I said STOP!"_

He could only remember vividly of how Charles had been asleep on the couch, and how he had accidentally sent powerful blast of the command, of simple 'STOP' through his powers. Erik had barely paid any attention to it then, but he still had a very good idea how easily Charles could freeze people. But freezing a whole city miles away while half-asleep just wasn't something Erik had ever imagined Charles could even do. Seemed that he had been wrong.

Leap nodded excitedly. -They only stayed like that for a while, but man it must have looked cool. Well despite the dying part."

Erik almost didn't want to look at Charles, but he stole a glance.

Charles was squeezing a counter so hard and had gone so pale that Erik actually wondered briefly if he was going to pass out there and then.

Charles just breathed in an out, staring at Leap, like waiting this to be some kind of a sick joke.

The young teleporter didn't seem to realize what was going on. Instead, he only got encouraged by the silence. -Yeah, dude, _I know_! I mean, how cool is that? I mean it sucks that people died and all that, but man if I could just freeze people like that. I would totally use that on people, just freezing them like statues..."

-Stop," Erik said simply. -Shut up, Leap." Erik said.

The way Charles' end of the link had suddenly turned into white blaring noise warned Erik that this was the last thing they needed - Charles actually stopping a whole city and causing the deaths of numerous people. On top all tragedy and loss, adding this guilt to the pile of Charles' emotional trauma couldn't do any good.

Charles took too many breaths, he sounded like he was going to hyperventilate soon.

A flicker of worry crossed Leap's face too.

-Is he okay?" he asked suspiciously from Erik. Erik didn't want to lie, so he didn't answer. But Leap just continued: -Because Emma sent me here to tell you that this location, this cabin - wherever it is - has been compromised. Emma said that the Chimera guys after us could figure out that we would be somewhere close to the city and could be already on our track. So she suggested..."

But before Leap had the chance to finish, Charles started moving forward with an impressive speed, even if his steps were shaky. He crossed the room to Leap with sharp movements, and then lifted his hands to the sides of the teleporter's head. The sudden touch made Leap's words die on his lips and he stared at Charles, confused.

-Charles," Erik barked in a warning tone. -Whatever you're thinking about to do..."

_Take me to this place right now,_ Charles commanded Leap, and Erik only caught the exchange because Charles' tone was so heavy and loud on the other side of the link. Erik was about to huff and tell Charles that his telepathy couldn't working that well already - that he couldn't possibly control any minds - but then Leap's face changed into a schooled, obedient one, and he nodded.

Erik thanked all greater power that he stood close enough to dive forward and reach his hand towards Charles' shirt and grabbed a handful of it in time. He yelped, ready to shout, but before he had the chance, they were already gone.

The cabin was empty.

* * *

_Whirl._

A room formed around them, and Erik blinked for a moment to get rid of the disorientation.

After a few seconds, he let out an angry hiss when he saw where they were. The Xavier mansion spread out everywhere around him. Charles just let go of Leap and the young teleporter looked like he had no idea what had just happened. Charles started walking away.

-Charles!" Erik hissed and stormed past Leap.

The mansion was dim and solemn as always, but Erik barely noticed.

-Charles!" Erik shouted again. But Charles didn't even slow down. Erik hurried to scan the corridor before them with his eyes. All of his instincts were on alert.

-Are you completely OUT OF YOUR MIND?" Erik roared now, anxious and angry at the same time. -Charles! This place could be swarming with enemies!" Erik said as he tried to sense any metal from guns or bigger weapons anywhere near.

But Charles didn't even glance backwards; he just kept walking forward. Erik fought the urge to just scream out of frustration.

-Charles Xavier! Stop right now!" he yelled out instead, not even bothering to keep his voice down. -You hear me? It's a wonder if you don't hear me, considering I'm alerting every goddamn living creature of our presence here!" Erik spat with cold sarcasm, still following him with hurried steps.

Erik refused to run after Charles. He just _refused._

Soon Charles reached the stairs, and started climbing up like Erik didn't even exist. Erik could only stare at him in awe.

-Where are you even going?" he said and spread his arms to the air, even if Charles couldn't see him.

Erik gritted his teeth. -Charles! Out of all places, this, really? Your own home? Being in here is damn near suicidal. The Chimera knows all of our hideouts and they are probably keeping a track of them all. They could be here right now. Or they could be setting us a trap, or arrive any second now. They are searching for us, for _you_, everywhere and we can't afford any mistakes. Even the Brotherhood hasn't..."

Charles acted like he was deaf. Erik followed, shaking from anger, stomping his feet unnecessarily angrily on the wooden stairs, only briefly glancing at the mansion itself - he hadn't been in here for years. But he was too distracted to focus on nostalgia. Erik hurried his steps and soon he was just a few stairs after Charles.

-Charles, stop right now! Stop or..."

_Or you'll what?_ Charles snapped a reply so suddenly as he swirled around that Erik had to take a grip from the railing.

The look on Charles' face was so alien that it made Erik hesitate.

_If I don't stop, Erik, then what? What are you going to do?! You said this wasn't a prisoner situation. So I can go wherever I like. _

Erik stared up at him. Dust danced on the air between them, framing Charles' face almost like it was a painting.

Erik hesitated.

-I know you're upset, but this...this is just pure insanity. We can't stay here. It's too dangerous," he explained slowly with emphasis.

Charles lifted an eyebrow. His face looked cold. _Who said anything about 'we'?_

Charles took one step down, standing right above Erik's face. _There is no 'we', Erik._ _There has never been. Our paths crossed for a short while in the past. That's all. I'm grateful for you saving my life, but your job is done. I'm alive, but I'm not going to side with you. I'm not going to become your tool. I don't need to be part of your schemes, Erik. I don't need saving. I don't need your guiding. I don't need your help. And I certainly don't need you._

The words felt like a dagger in Erik's chest, stabbing to all of the sore sposts. He could only stare, a lump forming to his throat. If Charles had been screaming at him, it would have been easier. But this cold indifference...it was the worst Erik could imagine.

Erik's features hardened, even if his chest felt like something was bleeding somewhere deep.

Charles just eyed him, tiredly. _You can go back to your own war now, Erik. Do all the things you want with the people that will follow you._

Erik tried to take another breath, and open his mouth to reply, but couldn't. He was too shocked; like he had been hit.

Charles started to turn away. _When my powers become stronger, I'll break the link. You don't need to worry about that. It'll be quiet soon, in your head._

Erik shot his hand forward and grabbed Charles' wrist, stopping him. Charles stilled, and turned to look at Erik, sighing.  
_Don't. Just don't._

Erik hissed. -We can't stay here!" he managed to mutter angrily, repeating the words like a broken record.

_No, Erik. __**You**__ don't have to stay, _Charles said as he slowly pulled his arm free.

-I'm not going to leave you here, you idiot!" Erik said through his teeth. -I won't allow you to stay here and get yourself killed."

_Walking away from me hasn't been a problem before. Why should it be now?_ Charles said, something sharp flashing under his emotionless tone.

Erik leant closer, and their faces were barely inches apart. -No." he said stubbornly.

Charles looked at him like he was a petulant child. _Just go, Erik._

Erik was about to argue, when Charles took him off-guard by opening his mouth and actually talking aloud for the first time after his imprisonment: -Leave." he told Erik with a raspy voice. Hearing Charles actually talk aloud made Erik startle, and it felt like an actual _insult_. Their minds had been tied together for months now, and Charles had talked to him so naturally, so instinctively. It had been intimate in its own way, so using real words when they were not necessary felt like a sudden barrier between them. Like the link would have already been broken, and Erik was already million miles away.

Charles turned away and walked the rest of the stairs. Erik froze on his spot, watching Charles getting further and further away. His legs didn't move, no matter how badly Erik wanted to follow.

Erik felt like his chest was collapsing on itself, and he_ hated_ the feeling.

He wanted nothing but to shout and tell Charles that he would do as Charles wanted and just leave, that Charles could go and feed himself to the wolves if he wanted to, but no word came out of his mouth. Erik wanted to end this all here and now, and he was so tempted to burn this bridge forever, but his body just didn't respond to his rage.

So instead, Erik turned on his heels, hands still shaking from the anger and pent-up emotions, and walked back towards downstairs. His steps echoed loudly in the enormous but empty mansion. Leap was standing on the edge of the stairs, eyes wide.

-What are you going to do?" he asked in bewilderment. -Should I take you somewhere, Magneto?"

Erik just shook his head so hard it almost hurt. -I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here,_ right_ here on this stupid mansion, for as long as it takes and for that idiot to see reason." he hissed almost manicly.

Leap was too afraid to question him.

-But what about..."

Erik just rose a hand to the air warningly. Leap quieted for a moment.

-You could always just make him come with us. Like...force him. I'm fast." Leap suggested.

Erik sighed. -No. That's no use," he mumbled. Even if they got Charles out of here, he could just repeat his mind control trick with Leap. Not to mention it would only make Charles even more angry, for taking his precious free will away from him - no matter how blind he was to see the true extent of the situation.

Leap tried to ease the tension. -I really don't know what that was all about, but it really looks like you two should have either a proper fistfight or then get married. You are just like my old man and his..." Leap said, chuckling, until Erik's murderous glance shut him up.

-Try to focus on the task at hand, Leap. This is a serious situation. Find Frost and tell her that the cabin has been exposed. Charles' powers are not fully under control right now, so he very likely caused that city to freeze. It won't take long from the Chimera to figure it out that he's still alive and very powerful. Then they'll send their hounds after us. We have no time to waste. Tell Frost that I'm here with Charles, and that the Chimera might be closing down on us. And also that the Chimera _can't_ have Charles, no matter the cost. We have to gather the Brotherhood soon back together again," Erik said. Giving orders dulled his inner aching. It felt good to at least appear calm and reasonable.

Leap let out a slow whistle. -Wow. Okay. You make it sound like it's bad."

Erik flashed an intense look on the teleporter. -It might be a _war_ soon, Leap. We better destroy them before they destroy us."

Leap lifed his eyebrows and turned to stare at the ground. -Huh." He tapped his foot on the floor. -All for him?" he asked, and made a vague gesture towards upstairs.

Erik stepped closer. -No," he growled. -Not for him. For _all_ of us."

Leap just nodded, faintly intimidated by Erik, stepping away. It felt good after such a long time - Erik drank in the sensation of being feared. Charles had never been afraid of him - not even a bit. So remembering what being Magneto like was almost intoxicating. Erik let out a wry, dark smile.

-Go on then."

Leap nodded. -Yeah. I'll...I'll tell Emma. I'll be back later." Then he disappeared with a gust of wind.

When Erik was finally alone, he stood alone in the big room.

For a moment, he felt good about making proper plans, for getting to be the leader. Being the one who gave orders.

But then, his face and mood turned sour again.

He was stuck in this mansion. He wanted nothing more than to walk out of here, to leave and gather Brotherhood. To fight. To get blood on his hands, to revenge.

But there wasn't a scenario where Erik could actually leave Charles behind. He just couldn't. If something was to happen to Charles because of him leaving, he wouldn't know what to do.

So he had no other option but to stay.

In that moment, Erik hated himself for being such a pathethic, needy and protective wimp. Everything and everyone in his life should have made him stronger than this. He should be able to walk away, to not to feel anything, because getting attached was destructive and it only got you killed. This was insane.

But no matter how hard Erik tried, he wasn't able to even consider leaving.

He kicked a chair so hard it hit a wall and shattered into bits.

Darkly satisfied, he watched the ruin.

The echo of the crashing reflected in the long and empty halls of the mansion.


	16. Chapter 16

**Warnings:** Suicidal themes, angst, dark themes.

* * *

During that day, Erik wandered to the furthest corners of the mansion, making his way through forgotten rooms and dusty corridors.

He went around, opening locked metal locks with his power, making sure nobody had visited the place or there weren't any enemies lurking anywhere.

Or that's what Erik told himself.

He was certain that the mansion was safe for now. And it was so quiet. But Erik desperately needed to have something to do, since he couldn't actually leave the building - and he definitely didn't want to face Charles either. Erik guessed Charles could sense he hadn't left - their link was still there, even if Erik only caught vague emotions from Charles' end.

Erik found satisfaction in the fact that Charles was probably annoyed by him refusing to leave. Charles would literally have to kick him out if he wanted Erik gone. Erik might not have been the most patient person, but he was stubborn as hell.

Erik listened to his own steps echoing in the halls.

As hours and old rooms passed by, Erik refused to let all of his forgotten memories flood over him. He had had a lot of good moments in this place. They were among the happiest Erik had - he remembered feeling safe, belonging somewhere...the constant ache and anger inside him dulled, and young and hopeful people surrounding him. Charles surrounding him. Erik had orbited him like a planet back then, even if he had never admitted it aloud.

Oh, how young they had been. Young and bright...and naive.

_Stupid,_ Erik corrected himself bitterly.

Erik tried to push all of his thoughts away, because the last thing he needed was making his already complex emotions about Charles and the whole situation even messier.

* * *

Hours went by.

Evening started to get closer and closer, and Erik started to grow nervous and edgy. He knew that soon the voices would return, and this time there wasn't to block it.

Or maybe there were still some syringes left in the house, but Erik had no idea where they could be. And the mansion was so enormous that it was no use trying to search them. Charles might have known where they were, but Erik was still too angry to go and ask him.

Besides, it would mean Erik would have to admit his distaste and fear for Charles' powers.

And Erik was too prideful for that. At least for the first few hours.

* * *

Nightfall started to close in, and Erik's nervousness started to become too sharp to ignore.

The voices were getting stronger slowly, but they weren't loud enough yet to incapacitate him. But Erik started to pace around, because he knew that Charles would lose his legs soon, and that his telepathy would kick in with full force. It was only a matter of time.

Erik hated to admit he was worried. Charles had gone upstairs, and Erik hadn't followed him, or seen him ever since their fight.

But now it was getting dark quickly, and the voices got stronger, and Erik got more and more anxious. He took one step towards the stairs, only to withdraw several times.

But as minutes ticked by, Erik felt the worry gnawing him from the inside, so he couldn't just ignore it anymore.

So finally, Erik climbed the stairs. At first, slowly, then more quickly. At least he could seem like he knew what he was doing, so he tried to look determined.

Erik had to navigate for a while to find the room Charles would most likely had gone into, only to find it empty. Erik's nervousness dulled for a moment, because it replaced by surprise. He went around, opening doors, but found nothing.

Erik raised his eyebrows, until he ran out of places to look.

-Charles?" he called, and his voice sounded odd in the empty halls.

He got no answer.

Erik forgot his earlier frustration when he was completely confused where Charles could have gone. He couldn't have gotten out, surely? No, that would have made no sense. Erik tried to think of any place Charles could have gone, but Erik would have either seen him going there or couldn't picture Charles going to the most weirdest cellar rooms in the mansion.

Erik knew it was pretty desperate, but he tried to listen the link. He was clumsy and untrained, but he tried to focus on the faint presence on the back of his mind.

Seconds turned into minutes.

Erik felt ridiculous for standing there, completely still, and was just about to give up when he caught a dizzying sensation from the other side of the link.

It was weak and disappeared within seconds, but Erik definitely felt it. He opened his eyes, staring into a wall, trying to remember how that particular feeling felt familiar. Erik had felt something similar in his own life...

Then it clicked.

It was the odd disorientation you got from heights, like looking down from a high hill or building.

Then Erik felt a stab of fear - there was only one place that could produce such a feeling in the mansion.

Erik looked up, a slight lump forming to his throat.

Then he broke out to run.

* * *

He headed towards the roof. He had absolutely no idea why Charles would be there, but there was no other explanation.

Erik pushed through doors and ran up several stairs.

When he finally reached the last door that lead to the roof, he almost punched it open.

The door flew open so hard it partly bounced back, but Erik barely noticed. He was too taken aback by the sight in front of him. The long and dark mansion roof opened in front of him, and it went on for a long time. But even in the dim light, Erik saw a figure right at the edge of the roof.

Erik's heart jumped painfully for the sudden horror of what he was seeing - of just the _implication_ of it.

Charles was right at the edge of the roof, dark evening air surrounding him.

Erik froze for a moment, unable to even breathe, fearing that every movement could make everything spiral into a catastrophy.

It was cold - the wind was chilly and harsh. Erik got goosebumps, but he didn't even register it.

Erik was too shocked to say anything out loud. He took a very slow step forward. _Charles?_ he called carefully through their link, hoping not to startle him.

Nothing.

As Erik got slowly closer, he instinctively lifted his hands to the air, like approaching a wounded animal. Charles was sitting right on the edge of the roof, leaning to a metallic fire ladder. His feet were hanging over the edge, even if they were unmoving. In fact, Charles wasn't moving at all. Only his breaths turning into smoke and then quickly disappearing were the only sign of movement.

Charles was staring somewhere far, far down, with unseeing eyes.

All of Erik's earlier anger was forgotten. It was replaced with awful feeling in the pit of his stomach, of his chest churning.

-Charles?" Erik called, not daring to go too close.

Charles didn't react.

-Charles...What...what are you doing?" Erik asked in a wary and tight voice.

The wind blew loudly on the roof, and for a moment Erik feared it just might throw Charles over the edge. His senses were on high alert now, adrenaline rushing in his veins. Erik tried to find anything metallic, but there was only the fire ladder. It would be no use.

Erik took one careful step forwards, not wanting to startle Charles.

-Y-you...You shouldn't be up here." Erik tried.

_You shouldn't be here anymore,_ Charles replied almost sleepily, with a tone so emotionless that Erik barely recognized it. It was almost zombie-like, coming through their link.

Charles didnt' seem to be properly awake and aware of everything, he seemed transfixed.

Erik took another careful step. He was getting closer all the time, but couldn't risk just rushing forward.

-But I am still here, Charles," Erik said slowly. He had to swallow before he could continue. -I never intended to leave."

_You should have,_ Charles replied, once again eerily distant.

Erik shook his head. -No. I'm...I'm not going to."

Erik was starting to see the ground from here, and he tasted bile in his throat. They were so high, so high on the roof. The ground seemed so far away, like the distance was even longer than it actually was. The drop was sickening.

But Erik forced himself to stay calm. The wind blew so coldly it burnt Erik's eyes. -I'm not going to leave you alone, Charles. Even when I yelled at you, I wasn't about to..."

And old memory suddenly kicked in: "_You abandoned me! _" Charles shouting that at Erik during their mission with Trask.

Erik chose his words carefully. -I wasn't about to leave you behind, Charles. I...I wasn't able to." Erik was surprised to find him saying something like that, but he blamed it on the alarming situation at hand.

_The grass has grown too long while I've been away,_ Charles said.

Erik blinked. -What?"

_Hank used to take care of it._

Erik grimaced for hearing Hank's name. He was trying so hard not to give in the bubbling panic lurking right at the edge of his mind. Erik thought fast what to do and say.

-The grass can be taken care of later," Erik said, sounding stupid even to his own ears. He took another wary step forward. He was almost there, so close, but not yet.

And it was then when Charles' hands let go of the ladder, and Erik's heart stopped for a while.

Charles didn't move anything else, he just dropped his hands into his lap. Like he was casually sitting on a chair in a cozy living room, and not in a fatal height right at the edge of a roof, only staying put by his balance.

Erik didn't even dare to breathe.

His eyes were burning from the panic that was so close to take over, and his heart was hammering his ribcage. Erik had never wanted so badly to drag someone into his arms and hold them still as hard as he could. It could take one wrong move, one millisecond, or one small lean, and Charles would be gone.

The thought frightened Erik so much that he had to block it from his head.

-Charles, please," Erik stuttered out. -There isn't anything that couldn't be taken care of or fixed. Nothing is irreversibly gone."

Charles' eyes never left the ground. _But it is, Erik._

Erik shook his head fiercely. -No, no, no! It isn't!" he hissed, too desperate, but he didn't care. He tried to think of anything he could say, anything at all, to make Charles stay for a while longer. Stay still. Wait.

Erik was too afraid of taking another step, because he feared more than anything that Charles would just simply use his powers and freeze Erik on his spot or make him feel fake peacefulness or some other form of mind controlling. And if Charles did that, Erik would have no chance to intervene, or do anything. So he stood still, stiff as a violin string.

The wind made his eyes water - or that's what Erik told himself. He had to blink hard for clearing his vision. -I was never planning to use you as a weapon, Charles. I never wanted that," he explained franrically. -All I wanted was to save you, to see you alive and breathing. If you properly looked into my mind you could see that. But you've stayed away, haven't you? You've been polite and struggled to keep out of my head. I know you have. I understand it better now, how your powers work."

Charles' hair moved on the strong wind. Erik wanted to cover his own mouth for the sheer fear he was feeling. His voice was shaking. -I could let you do that, Charles. I would willingly let you inside my head. How does that sound, huh? Even after all those years I carried that helmet, I would offer you to take a look."

Erik didn't even know what he was doing anymore - he was just bargaining for more time, throwing everything he had on the table. He shook a little from the cold.

Erik tried to push his foot closer, inch by inch.

-I...I know we're not...It's been hard. We've had our differences, Charles. And...you've been through a lot. But it's no reason to...You have to..." Erik's voice broke and he had to swallow. Just two more steps, and he would be close enough to grab Charles' arm.

_Hank is not coming back. Nor are the children. This place will never be a school for mutants. Logan was wrong._

Erik tried to find something to say, but there wasn't anything. He glanced nervously to the ground, then at Charles.

_I will be hunted by the Chimera for the rest of my life, now that they have seen what I can do. I refuse to become the prey for them._

Erik hissed. -I will kill them all if that's what it takes. I will...me and my Brotherhood will protect you. We won't let them have you."

_I'm truly sorry, Erik, but excuse me for not believing in your promises._

Erik felt a stab of anger and hurt, but he had no time for that now. He pushed his foot closer again. Soon, he'd be able to reach for Charles. Erik chose a softer, warmer tone: -You didn't let me drown, all those years ago, because of the pain I felt. Remember?" Erik's hands shook as he got closer once again. -I would have died with Shaw if it wasn't for you. I never thanked you for that. So maybe it's now my turn to the return the favour."

Erik could see the whole ground in front of him now. The fall would be fatal, there would be no doubt about that. Charles was so close now, and Erik reached his hand slowly towards him.

_Why? Why you?, _Charles asked.

-Because I'm right here, aren't I?" Erik whispered. Then he held his breath. Seconds seemed to slow down as he jumped forwards, taking a steely grip from Charles arm and almost violently yanked him backwards. Charles breathed out in surprise, and Erik let out a muffled yelp, but Erik leant backwards with his own weight and pulled them both off the edge. Erik lost his balance when Charles' legs didn't react to the movement in any way, and Erik stumbled on them. In the end, Erik fell partly on top of Charles, on the cold stone roof.

For a moment, Erik could only breathe in and out, and realize they were now both safe.

Then Erik turned towards Charles, outraged. -What the hell were you THINKING?!" he yelled out of sheer relief and anger. Now that they were both on this side of the roof, it felt like all of the emotions had burst into life and Erik finally felt all of them sharply. They were almost overwhelming.

Erik struggled to push himself up with his arms, Charles still partly under him. -Are you INSANE?" he shouted, but his emotions rushed so quickly forward that his throat seemed to be so full of something that he couldn't continue. Instead, Erik could only helplessly realize that the tears suddenly broke free from his eyes.

-You could have died, you idiot!" Erik shouted after a moment with a hoarse voice. He punched the hard concrete. He looked at Charles, shaking from the fright and relief and anger.

-Do you have any idea how high the roof is? Or how risky it was to climb to the edge? Do you?" Erik breathed out without pauses, brushing hot tears from his face angrily, like they were annoying bugs.

Charles didn't look at him. He was lying still as Erik pushed himself to his knees and looked down at him.

-I couldn't have stopped you from falling! The drop would have..." Erik had to bang his fist on the roof again. He hadn't been this angry in a long while. -For fuck's sake, Charles! Just get over yourself! This is no solution. It never will be. Why the fuck would you ever think that you, out of all people, should do this to yourself? How dare you even consider it, after everything you've survived from? How could you? HOW COULD YOU?"

-Erik," Charles said weakly aloud. It caught Erik once again so off-guard that Charles had spoken aloud that he stopped to listen. Charles blinked several times, like only then it dawned on him what was really happening. Slight shock and awe took over his face._ I didn't...I didn't...I didn't know what I was doing_._ I just came up here, and...It felt good to be alone. Somehow I just sat on the edge and then I started to lose the sensation from my legs and then I don't even know...I lost the track of time..._

Erik shook his head furiously, still trying to stop the tears flowing. -How could you even risk it?! If I had left for real, or hadn't come up here...what then? What then, Charles?"

Charles squeezed his eyes shut. _You weren't supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to see this._

Erik swallowed and brushed his cheeks again. He didn't even know what to say.

_We used to come and sit here with Hank. At first that's why I came up here._

-Don't try to tell me you weren't..."

_I wasn't...Not really, Erik. I can't explain it. I would have never pushed myself over the edge._

-But what if the fucking wind would have done it? Or tiredness? Anything? The fact that you were playing around with something like this..." Erik growled.

Charles blinked blearily at him, and looked vaguely surprised to see how strong reaction he had woken in Erik.

In any other situation, Erik would have never commented on it, but right now his emotions were all over the place. -What? You really think I still don't care about you living or dying? What do I need to do, for God's sakes, to make you realize? How many times do I need to save your life, or fucking drag you from the edge of a roof before you see it? You're not an object, or a weapon to me. If you were, I would have used you already. Or left you behind."

Charles eyed him, and let out an unsteady breath.

It was only then when Erik noticed that his lips were disturbingly blue. Erik raised an eyebrow. -How...how long have you been up here?"

Charles shrugged weakly. _Not sure. _

Erik bit his lip. Charles could have been here for over an hour, or even two, and it was so cold.

_I couldn't get up_, Charles said, and Erik caught a flash of faint embarrassment from his face. _My legs gave in sooner than I thought._

Erik sighed and glanced at Charles' unmoving legs. Then he brushed Charles' palm, and his skin was way too cold. Erik wasn't too pleased to notice. -How indifferent can you be about your own body? How can you be so careless? You're freezing."

Charles sighed, and the air turned to blue smoke. _Then maybe help me inside?_

Erik stared at him for a while. -Fine. But this is not over yet. You hear me?"

Charles just nodded. So Erik sighed, trying to calm himself down, and curled his arms around Charles, but this time the gesture came naturally, since he had done it so many times. Erik got them both up and turned around towards the door that lead back inside. Charles' head fell against Erik's shoulder way too tiredly for Erik's liking.

_I have a chair somewhere inside,_ Charles mumbled through their link. _I'm sorry I haven't broken the link yet. _

-It's fine." Erik answered tightly, as the warm air from the inside washed over him. Charles out a breath. _It's warm._

-Yeah, unlike you," Erik bit back, as he got down the stairs. Even through the fabrics, Erik could feel the cold radiating through. If the fall hadn't killed him, the hypothermia would have. Erik hated the thought. Charles was so much better than this. So much better.

But Erik knew that right now wasn't the time for that.

The mansion echoed with Erik's steps.

Charles was quiet for some time. _Maybe not the chair...Maybe just bed._

-Well this got dirty really fast," Erik said without the humor his words held. His joke fell flat, and Charles' tired mind sent a twinge of confusion.

_SleepingBedErik_, came the sudden reply, and it reminded Erik so much of their time in the hospital that it woke a quick sense of nostalgia. Charles was quickly falling asleep after getting into the warm mansion. It was almost ridiculous that Charles could act like a five-year-old when he was sleepy. Normally, Erik might have been amused.

_ErikHereHereWithMe,_ Charles mumbled blurrily, his end of the link getting foggy.

Erik raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Finally he reached the right door. Erik put Charles down to the bed. The sheets were slightly dusty, but Erik didn't care. He took several blankets and just threw them over Charles, feeling ridiculously like a mother hen and babysitter. But he didn't want Charles to freeze to death.

Charles was long asleep before Erik stood up and glanced at him.

He had never seen Charles in such a low point than in these past few days. Erik had never even imagined that such pain and darkness could be under that calm and polite facade. That Charles Xavier, the proud and know-it-all telepath, could be driven to this state, so lost and careless.

It haunted Erik that he finally understood Charles so much better, that even if he was still mad for Charles getting to the roof, he couldn't really blame him. Charles was so alone. Hank was dead, Raven gone. Azazel, Banshee, Angel...all dead. And Charles' every second was filled with thousands unknown voices inside his head, sensations taking over his body. Pain, from his own memories and life, but other people's pain too. How could someone even contain all that?

Erik felt ashamed for cherishing his own past and tragedies, of painting them to the walls and using them as his shields against the world. What was his past compared to the fate Charles had to go through every day? At least most of his pain was in the past - it still hurt, but it wasn't raw and fresh.

Suddenly Erik felt lonely, and he got the oddest longings to heal everything that was hurting in Charles. To fill the cracks, mend the wounds, dull the grief. And at the same time, Erik also feared for wanting it. He had never intended to become so wrapped around Charles. He had just planned to save Charles from the Chimera. So why was he so desperate to make Charles better, to stay with him, wanting to see him smile again, like he used to do so easily when they had been younger?

Erik had almost forgotten the sound of Charles' laughter, the way he truly smiled.

And he hated it.

Maybe Erik, for the first time, saw himself in Charles now. And like Charles had seen something good in him - not just pain and anger - Erik saw Charles like a pulsating light, vibrant and strong and so full of good things, despite their differences. Erik wished so badly that they could erase the past.

Erik was tired of fighting.

If only he could fix them both by just willpower.

* * *

Erik put out the lights, and closed the door quietly. He walked downstairs, and poured himself a drink.

He stared at the dark liquid.

The voices coming through Charles' telepathy had gotten so much stronger, but Erik didn't want to wake up Charles now. He just had to held on for the time being.

Erik felt bittersweet for smelling the strong alcohol.

He had had the guts to call Charles out for drinking, for drowning his sorrows and powers to the bottom of a bottle. For hiding in this mansion for years, for hating his own gifts. Right now, Erik found he couldn't blame Charles for one bit.

Oh how the tables had turned, he thought as he downed the expensive whiskey in one go. Only to pour another glass right after he was finished.

As the room got darker, Erik's throat burned.

So did something else, deep inside of him.

But as the voices behind the link in Erik's head got stonger, the alcohol in his veins dulled everything to a comfortable distance.


	17. Chapter 17

Erik got almost through the whole night with the aid of alcohol. But when the night started to turn towards the morning, Erik was constantly wincing and grimacing for the voices and sensations bleeding through the link. He had to hold his head between his hands, and he couldn't down a drop of anything anymore.

Charles' telepathy had gotten so strong that Erik felt it could drive him to the walls at anytime now.

The alcohol seemed to disappear soon from his system, and when the sunlight started to fill the room, Erik felt sober. Tired and edgy, but sober. He had a blaring headache and he had to close the curtains because his eyes seemed to be sensitive for the brightness.

Erik couldn't get comfortable anywhere. He wanted to scratch his brains from the inside, or just knock himself out. It wasn't even half as bad as it had been at that time in the cabin, but it still made it hard to even think straight.

Erik kept changing his place and position in the big living room, but couldn't stay put for long. Having telepathy was like having a loud noisy room full of people inside of your own head all the time.

But after some time, the voices started to miraculously lose their sharpest edge. Erik was too relieved to believe it to be true, but slowly the voices became bearable, and the sensations vague. There was no mistaking that.

And like an answer to the unasked question, a voice came through the link. _Erik?_

Erik looked instinctively up towards the second floor. He felt a gentle tug in their link._ Are you awake?_

Erik nodded, and then realized Charles couldn't actually see him. With effort, he sent a reply to the link: _Yes._

A short silence.

Then: _Please come upstairs?_

Erik got up, and briefly wondered how worn out he looked and then realized he didn't care. _Sure._

_Thank you_, came Charles' quiet answer.

Erik rolled his eyes - Charles, always so polite. Then he made his way to the stairs. He might have been sober, but his head didnt' like the sudden movement. Erik sighed and tried to ignore it.

He got up the stairs and wandered to the room he had left Charles in. He knocked the door before he opened it.

Erik found Charles sitting on the bed, looking a bit tired but otherwise fully alert. His eery distance from last night had fortunately disappeared. Instead, he looked like he was concentrating on something.

Charles just gestured him to come closer, and Erik walked next to the bed. Then Charles flickered his eyes distractedly to Erik. _Sit down._

It was a request, not a command. Still, Erik hesitated for a moment, until he sat opposite to Charles. Erik spent time arraging himself on top of the blanket. It was odd being near to Charles after last night, since Charles had given him such a bad fright. But mostly, Charles seemed to be almost back to himself now. Erik waited in silence, waiting for Charles to pay proper attention to him.

Seconds passed.

Finally, Charles took a deep breath.

Erik tilted his head. -What are you..."

_I'm building shields. I have been doing that all morning. Shielding and blocking._

-Oh?" Erik said, raising an eyebrow. His own voice sounded oddly loud in the small room, since Charles only spoke telepathically. Erik had to wave his distraction off. -What does it mean?"

_That I'm shielding my own mind from the outside world, and pushing the outsiders further. It's hard, but once I get them in place, it's easier to maintain them._

It made sense - blocking the telepathic leaks. Erik realized that this must have been the reason the voices in their link had gotten quieter just a moment ago. Clearly, Charles was making some kind of progress. -Well, that's good to hear."

_Yes. The Chimera broke all of my shields and mental barriers back in the 's why they could rearrange all of my sense of self and time, and force me to do things I would have never done otherwise. And the loss of my shields was the reason why my telepathy almost killed us both when it returned for the first time - it came back too quickly, and there was nothing to block it or guide it inside my head._

Erik could remember very well the horrible moment when Charles had stopped breathing and Erik himself had been a screaming and bleeding mess in the cabin. How Erik had seemed to boil inside his own skin. How his ears and nose had bled. The whole nightmare, in awful details. The memory still caused a shiver in him. It had been like a form of torture.

Erik played with the edge of the blanket. -So you can...You can manage it better, is that it? It doesn't cause you as much pain as it did before?" he asked.

Charles shrugged._ I guess you could say so, yes._ _But building basic shields like the ones I now have is somewhat quick. Strenghtening and layering them will take weeks, or even months. You see, Erik, the ones I had before had been there for years. The Chimera took all of them away from me._

Erik felt a flash of anger. Taking shields from a telepath sounded like an equivalent of skinning someone alive. Disgusting and downright cruel - and the Chimera had had another telepath doing it to Charles, who had known what they were doing. _Those bastards,_ Erik couldn't help but to mutter inside his own head. But then he took a calming breath, and let himself think for a while. Wheeles turned inside his head.

-So that's also the reason you couldn't control your powers before?" Erik asked warily. -Because your shields were down? I mean with all of the sudden mind controlling and...and accidentally freezing people?"

Charles' face darkened for a moment. _Partially, yes. I still have problems with that. But probably not as severely as before._

Erik nodded. -I see. Because it takes effort to stay out of people's heads and not mindcontrolling them, and not the other way around." he mumbled.

Charles blinked in surprise. He suddenly lost his concentrated look, and he studied Erik carefully, like he only now really saw Erik for the first time._Yes,_ he said in surprise._ Exactly._

There was a sudden silence and Erik realized he had all of Charles' attention now. Charles looked at him, really _looked_, and Erik felt satisfaction to notice it. Erik looked back at him, and then said: -I paid attention, you know. Once I got the chance to understand your powers better."

Charles still looked puzzled and...almost impressed.

Erik huffed. -Sadly you never even tried explaining this to me. I would have listened."

Charles tilted his head slowly. Erik felt faint warmth coming from Charles' end of the link, even if his face was unreadable. Then finally, Charles said quietly: _I'm glad._

Erik flashed the weakest smile in response and nodded. He suddenly felt slightly awkward for the sudden intimacy, and he fidgeted his hands and cleared his throat.

-So, uh..." he said. -Was there a particular reason you called me up here?"

Charles took a breath and got more serious too. _Yes. I promised to break the link._

Erik hated to admit that he felt a sting of disappointment somewhere deep inside of him. But it was ridiculous, so he ignored it, and just nodded. -Alright. Yeah."

Charles observed him for a while. Erik hesitated what to say or do. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Charles sat up straighter. _The thing is, I already tried to break the link. Now that my powers are almost fully working. But I couldn't. Everytime I try, the link pushes me away. _

Erik stared at him, puzzled. -How can you not break it? It's not like you aren't powerful enough."

Charles sighed. _That's the problem. I don't know why._

Erik waited him to continue, but Charles didn't. Instead, he looked suddenly flustered and awkward, like he didn't know how to express himself. _And that's why I called you here, Erik. I need to ask you for something._

Erik felt a little alerted. -And what's that?"

Charles looked bothered. _I need to enter the link from your end. I...I would need to get inside your head._

Erik stiffened instinctively, and he could detect a flash of hurt from Charles' end of the link for the mistrust. But then Erik remembered that he had actually offered this to Charles the night before and felt like a hypocrite. And it wasn't like they hadn't been linked for months now. It was pretentious of him to be uncomfortable. -Al...Alright. How will you do that?"

Charles' face was unreadable. _Well, I would need a physical touch, because it makes it a lot easier._

Erik felt a twinge of both nervousness and something almost like wary excitement as he pushed himself up a little and went closer to Charles. Suddenly there was only a few little space between them, and Erik felt oddly self-aware.

Charles nodded. _Alright, good. Are you still sure about this?_

Erik just nodded sternly.

Charles lifted his hands to the air slowly. Erik stared at them and Charles searched his eyes, like asking for one more final permission. Erik nodded again, and Charles placed his hands to the sides of Erik's face. Erik's skin felt suddenly warm under the touch - Charles' hands were soft and just a little cold, and Erik could sense something like electricity prickling under the spot were their skins came into contact. Charles' touch was gentle, though, so gentle - Erik had not been touched so gently and carefully in a very long time. It was like Charles was extremely polite and careful even with a touch that he already had received a consent for. Erik fought the urge to flutter his eyes shut for the sudden intimacy.

For so many years, his body had only known violence and neglect. Hands had dealt punches on him, aiming to kill or hurt.

But Erik tried to gather himself. He was, strangely enough, not afraid of Charles in any way. He was wary, yes, but Erik trusted Charles not to harm him.

_Alright. I'm going to meld into your mind now, Erik,_ Charles said and Erik could hear his voice disturbingly clear and bright inside his own head, just enchanced by the physical touch.

In the end, Erik had no time prepape when Charles entered his mind. Erik gasped for the sudden new presence in his head - it was like warm rain brushing his awareness. The oddest thing was that Erik recognized it as Charles - his mind was like a beacon inside Erik's head - and Erik had gotten use to the faint feeling of Charles through their link during all of their months together. He couldn't explain it, or really put his finger on it, but Erik just _knew_ Charles. His presence didn't feel like a stranger trespassing, and Erik knew somewhere deep inside himself that it couldn't be a good thing. He had worn that helmet for so many years to keep everyone out of his head, and here he was now, sitting on a bed and trusting his sanity and life into Charles' hands.

Erik thought it was better to leave this can of worms unopened.

He could feel Charles carefully getting deeper into his head, and Erik had to close his eyes for the dizzying sensation. Even now, Erik could tell Charles was being careful and tried not to touch anything he shouldn't - Erik could feel Charles blocking thoughts and memories that didn't belong to him, that weren't his to see or explore.

Seconds passed by.

It was quiet. Calm. Almost...peaceful.

Erik realized he wasn't disturbed by any of this, not really. He had already gotten so used to the link that the thought of it didn't bother him. There was nothing strange in the small stream of shared emotions and vague thoughts coming through their link anymore. It was like having a sixth sense of the other. Now when Erik imagined it being gone, he felt an ugly stab of loneliness. He had always been alone. For so many years. Alone, always keeping a good distance with everyone. He had been alone, but he had never admitted to anyone he was_ lonely,_ too. Erik suddenly realized that having Charles linked to him had become so normal that breaking the link might feel like getting rid of a limb.

Suddenly Erik felt a flash of regret. Maybe...maybe he didn't want the link to be gone. He could have never in million years believed that he was thinking about it, but...He felt weirdly protective over it. It made him feel less alone. But then Erik tried to quickly quiet down his thoughts because he didn't necessarily want Charles to see and hear all of it.

It was then when he felt a poke in the deeper parts of his mind, and it drew all of Erik's attention. The poke felt sick somehow, like something impaling him. Erik winced as he felt it repeating itself. He knew Charles was doing something, but clearly it didn't got that well. Erik even caught a rush of Charles' confusion.

_Erik? _Charles called, which was unnecessary since Erik could hear him better than ever before.

_Yes?_, Erik answered inside his own head.

_I see it now. I can't break the link._

_What?_ Erik asked in amazement. He was genuinely surprised, even if there might have been just a hint of forbidden delight mixed to it.

_I can't break the link, because it isn't about me. YOU are holding it back, Erik, not me. _

_But...I don't even know how I'm doing it_, Erik sent back.

_I can't explain it, but the ties you have are stronger than you should be able to make without any telepathical training. They're...impressive. They are complex and strong. And...they feel like steel._

Erik couldn't help but to smirk.

Charles gave a mental huff. _I'm serious, Erik. I think you're holding the link back with your power. And as long as you're doing that, I can't untie the bond and break the link._

Erik gave it a thought for a while. But just when he was about to reply, he got distracted by an odd sensation - and odd drumming sound. _Thump thump thump, _it went on. It drowned out all of the previous logical thinking, and Erik stopped to sharpen his hearing. After a moment he suddenly realized that it was Charles' heartbeat. It felt extremely strange to hear it through their current connection. But now that Erik concentrated on the sound, he could get some other sensations from Charles too. Small bits Charles was feeling - there was the softness of the pillow behind him...the way Charles couldn't really feel his legs...the way Erik's own skin felt on Charles' fingertips...the rhythm of Charles' breathing.

Erik observed all of the new information he was getting; it was like he had drawn a hidden curtain open.

_Erik,_ Charles called carefully. Erik could feel him breathing out in a nervous manner - how the air flowed in Charles' lungs. Erik got lost to the odd way of feeling Charles - he forgot to think about the link and instead, he felt Charles' body leaning forward - all of the muscles working and straining.

Erik knew this was probably something he shouldn't be doing, but he didn't feel like stopping. He didn't exactly know what it was, but he got lost in the exploring.

Erik could sense the stiffness in Charles' recently healed elbow. The way his eyelids felt when he blinked.

_Erik,_ Charles said, now more demandingly.

But Erik was too enchanted, and he kept on. It was like he could find his way easily towards Charles' mind, like there was a magnet Erik could pull himself towards into. It felt natural, easy, like using his powers. Magnetism had always been the core of his mutation, after all - but in all his life, Erik had only been able to control metal with it. Of course he knew that each and every object on Earth had a small magnetic field that drew other objects closer - it was a scientfic fact - but Erik hadn't ever thought that he himself could find anything else responding to his commands beside metal. Even the idea of having non-metallic objects, especially actual_ persons_, responding to magnetism was so surreal that Erik couldn't believe his instincts could be right. Surely one couldn't apply magnetism to two people? Humans always talked about chemistry between people, but Erik had always discarded that as romantic nonsense that was used for books and movies. Charles was _not_ made of metal. He was skin and blood and warmth and life, so why could Erik reach out to him like this? As if he was a magnet Erik could use?

Erik listened as Charles' heart took pace, he could hear it so well through their vivid link. Erik sensed so sharply how Charles got slight goosebumps, how his breathing quickened and eyelids blinked more frequently. It was like Erik was melded to Charles, and it felt intoxicating. He had never experienced anything quite the same, with anything or anyone. Even having sex wasn't as intense as this. It was like being inside of other person, and being yourself at the same time, drinking in all of the small physical sensations and the lines between them blurring.

_Erik_, Charles repeated, and now some of his nervousness and wariness bled through.

Erik was too stubborn to listen. Instead, he lifted a hand and took a grip from Charles' wrist. It made sparks fly inside his brain - he felt the touch through own his fingers and through the delicate skin on Charles' wrist too. It was like having double vision like back in the hospital: seeing through two pair of eyes, but so much sharper and richer now. Erik felt everything vividly - the warmth, the textures, their touch, the air in their lungs. Dust. Both of their hearts beating.

It was like watching a living painting. Heaving, moving, beating, alive painting. Erik wasn't sure where he ended and Charles started.

The more Erik felt, the hungrier he got. He wanted to reach deeper, to feel more. He felt so powerful, getting so much from Charles, seeing and feeling. For being so tangled with someone, deeply. Erik had met so many people in his life that he had just passed by - used, hated, liked, laid with, talked to, killed or abandoned. He had never really cared about any of them, not really, nor he had found anything solid with them. It was like Erik's whole life had been lukewarm and dull, and the only things that had felt real and sharp was his pain and anger, so he had fed on them. He had always rejected other kinds of emotions, because the pain had been the only thing that made him feel alive.

But now Erik could barely breathe, because there was just so much and Charles was everywhere and Erik was lost but didn't feel lost.

Erik dived even deeper into the feeling.

_Erik!_ Charles now shouted through their link, sharp warning in his voice.

But Erik forced his way forward, and collided to Charles' confusion and other current strongest emotions, and he devoured them, watched and observed them like objects.

But it was then when Erik felt a sudden hard push through their link, and he was forced backwards, shoved back to his own mind. Charles pulled his hands away from Erik's face and the connection snapped almost completely shut. It was like a door banging close after being thrown out to the cold outside air, and the shift was so sudden that Erik fell physically forward for the sudden lack of support from Charles' hands.

He hit his forehead to Charles' shoulder before he got his body back in control and he gasped, vision returning to him. Erik realized he was shaking, and tried to lean an arm to the bed to regain some balance. His skin seemed to be on fire. He lifted his head and almost hit Charles' cheek; their faces were so close to each other. Erik felt Charles' breaths on his forehead, and almost the touch of his face on his. He could make out every shade of blue in Charles' eyes, could spot every one of his eyelashes, see every millimetre of his skin. For a moment, Erik stayed there, just staring, breathing, exploring the closeness. Something fluttered inside of him for being so physically close, and Erik hastily pushed himself back to sit, suddenly realizing what had even happened. He blinked, eyes slightly widened, trying to regain a neutral look on his face. Charles was trying to catch his breath too, staring him back with a dazed look.

-I'm...I...I wasn't supposed to..." Erik stammered.

_You were pushing your awareness through our link,_ Charles mumbled, horror-mixed amazement in his telepathic voice. _Our link shouldn't be so strong. And you...you shouldn't be able to do that._

Erik opened his mouth, then closed it again. He already missed the warmth and sensation of the previous connection, but now that it was gone, he was able to feel ashamed too. Erik felt a sudden rush of embarassment.

He wasn't like this. He was _not_ needy, or attached.

A few seconds passed in heavy silence.

Charles looked away. The whole world seemed dull and grey in Erik's eyes now that he had had a taste of true connection. He craved for another moment of the previous intimacy - it had felt like a drug you could get addicted to. Erik felt so unlike himself for missing it that he wanted nothing more to regain the sense of himself, but couldn't. He felt like he needed to slap himself to get back to himself, but he felt almost drowsy. He could still feel the echo of Charles inside his own head, in his own body.

_I should have cut our meld sooner, _Charles finally said._ I'm sorry I let you slip towards my end of the link. _He seemed edgy; he kept tapping his fingers on the blanket.

Erik couldn't figure out anything to say.

_I can't explain how you managed to do that, _Charles muttered.

Erik didn't trust his voice so he replied through their link:_ I think I used my powers._

Charles' eyes flickered to his. _But there's no metal. The bonds you had made are not made of actual real steel, Erik._

Erik felt uncomfortable realizing he might have guessed right before. _Controlling metal is not what my powers are about, Charles. Don't underestimate me._

He felt incredibly nervous for leading Charles into the conclusion, but at the same time he wanted to see his reaction. Charles' eyebrows shot up. _I'm not. But what are you saying, Erik? That you...you could somehow still use the steal-looking bonds as magnets and push yourself forward? But it doesn't explain how you managed to push __**through**_ _the link, passing by the bonds, towards my mind. _

Now it was Erik's time to stare.

Sometimes he hated to be right. But Erik quickly covered his inner maelstorm and put a controlled look on his face. He wished to change the topic as soon as possible.

_I just don't understand,_ Charles said.

_Maybe your telepathy forms a static of some kind,_ Erik quickly said._ I can work with those too, you know._

Charles seemed to be somewhat convinced, while Erik wished he could believe his own words. His argument did sound half-decent. But a small, irritating voice inside him told him that it was and always would be magnetism that he was using. What could Erik even tell Charles? That he was actually thinking something much more profound? How could Erik even put something like that into words? Congratulate Charles on being a magnet of some kind?

No.

Erik decided not to ponder on this, because it opened so much trains of thought that Erik didn't want to explore.

He decided to go with the static explanation.

Dust danced in the air between them, painted by the morning light from the window.

Charles finally turned back and lifted his hands back into the air again._ Alright. I'm going to reach the link now, and all you need to do is wait. Don't push yourself towards my mind like that again. And when the time comes, you can draw your power away from it. Then I can break it._

Then Charles started to reach his hands towards Erik's face again, but Erik caught his wrist from mid-air and gripped them tightly. -No!," he breathed out.

Erik felt instantly ridiculous, so he tried to appear calmer and straightened a little. He cleared his voice. -I mean," he said slower and calmer. -That...I don't really know how to do that." he quickly lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie - Erik did _not_ know how to do it, but it wasn't like he couldn't make a good guess. Drawing his power from the mental bonds shouldn't be too hard.

Charles looked at him, lifting an eyebrow. _I can help you. I can guide your powers._

Erik bit the inner side of his cheek. He hesitated. Then something in Charles' face changed. It was like a realization slowly dawning on him, and suddenly Charles looked softer. He looked at Erik with gentle eyes._ Erik...Do you want to leave the link unbroken?_

-No," Erik instantly breathed, as a rushed reflex. -I just...I'm just thinking that...it can stay. For now. Until...until you're better."

Charles studied him in silence, like trying to make sense of Erik's mood and thoughts without actually reading his mind. His blue eyes were intense, and Erik felt like they could burn his skin through the air.

_Erik...I just...Want to make sure. Are you serious?_

Erik huffed. -I'm always serious." he said sharply.

_But do you really understand what having a bond like this means? It won't break until it's broken, or one of us dies. For the time being, you'd be able to hear some of my thoughts, and emotions, and sensations. And my telepathy. Distance would weaken it yes, but even then you would be able to feel my presence at the back your mind. And vice versa, physical touch would almost meld our minds into one._

Erik felt slight goosebumps on his arms. He just nodded.

-I'll manage," Erik said dryly.

Charles eyes wandered away, like he was thinking it through. _Well...if you're sure, the link may remain there for a while more. _

Erik nodded, and felt shocked to feel relief washing over him. -Yes...Let's do that." he muttered, distracted by his own weird behaviour.

Charles glanced up, and for a moment, they just locked eyes.

Erik felt suddenly like there was not enough air and space in the room, like he couldn't breathe properly even if there was nothing wrong with his lungs drawing the air in and out. He couldn't explain it, it was like having an afterwave of the earlier connection.

Suddenly, Charles' lips turned into the faintest smiles. Erik had almost forgotten how Charles looked like when he was smiling, and he drank in the sight. Even if the smile was vague, it was still genuine and it seemed to light up the room. Charles' eyes softened and he looked at Erik so differently than he normally used to, and Erik felt like he forgot all of their earlier fights and just stared, transfixed. The moment seemed charmed - the dust dancing in slow circles in the air, the warm morning light framing Charles' hair, their link buzzing quietly between them.

Erik forgot the whole world for a short minute. For a moment, there was no anger, or hatred, or bitterness. There were just the two of them, in the enormous mansion, but now it was only made of this one tiny room, of the air circling between them, of their breaths mixing together, the soft and ridiculously large bed under them.

Erik hadn't felt so alive for a long time, and he had never felt so unlike himself. He felt like he was wrapped in dazed state where he couldn't even remember all the reasons he had been angry before for.

The room felt too small, and too large at the same time, and Erik was so at loss what he was doing.

The sheets were too soft, Charles' eyes were too blue, and Erik wanted simultaneously to run out of the room and never leave and face the real world again.

It was the most peculiar feeling.

Erik almost expected the moment to be broken harshly. But for his surprise, Charles suddenly chuckled barely audibly, now amusement radiating through the link.

_Erik,_ Charles said very quietly through their link, like he didn't want to disturb their fragile peace.

Erik only stared back, devouring the way his own name sounded through their link.

Charles' smile just deepened, and he raised an eyebrow in an almost playful way. _Erik, you can let go any time you want now._

It was only then when Erik realized he was still holding Charles' wrists in his hands, and the enchantment broke when he glanced down. Erik let go instantly, dumbfounded to lose his sense of touch and space so easily - it never happened to him normally. Erik even felt his cheek burn. He could barely recognize himself. He wasn't supposed to act like this, he was supposed to stern and determined and calm. He was_ Magneto_, after all. Hundreds of his enemies cowered just hearing his name. And now look at him.

Charles was the only one in the whole world who could get under Erik's skin like this, to bring out sides Erik didn't even know he still had.

It both terrified and fascinated Erik.

But then Charles chuckled once again, and Erik forgot to be irritated at himself. It wasn't really a laugh, but it still sounded like music to Erik's ears. He briefly even considered regaining his grip from the wrists just to make Charles smile again. Erik could remember too well how Charles had looked like on the edge of the roof just the evening before, and he never wanted to witness anything like that again. The idea of losing Charles like that made him sick.

But Erik still abandoned the idea and drew his hands away. He wondered how well Charles had felt or heard his thoughts and emotions. It made his cheeks flush even more, and made him feel even more ridiculous. He really hoped Charles hadn't caught his moment of disorientation. But knowing Charles, Erik was pretty sure that Charles tried to stay out of his mind as much as he could.

Still, Erik cleared his voice and sat up straighter. Charles still looked amused, and his faint smile looked almost smug in Erik's eyes.

_You smell horrible_, Charles suddenly said, and it caught Erik so off-guard that he just glanced up, brows furrowing.

-What?"

Charles licked his lips and his vague smile turned deeper. _Did Jack Daniels or some of his friends keep you company?_

Erik was surprised for a moment before he frowned. -Hilarious." he mumbled, wondering if he really smelled of whiskey or if Charles had just noticed traces or memories of it in his mind. Erik lifted his hands to the air. -Remember I couldn't have a drink in ten years," he said in a light tone, but only then realized he could have very easily just killed the mood.

Erik hated to see that Charles' smile fell, and Erik mentally kicked himself. The last thing he wanted was another fight. Erik hurried to continue: -I think Jack Daniels would be too cheap for you. The stuff you had in there must have cost you more than buying the Milky Way."

It was bad, but it seemed to work. The shadow easened from Charles' face a little. _Almost as much, I'm afraid, _he joked back a little lamely, but Erik didn't mind.

-I think you'll manage," Erik said with an exaggerated seriousness. -You can always sell some of your private jets or army of cars if it comes to that," he said, even if for a moment he was worried that he might have gone too far.

Charles didn't take any offense, fortunately. _Tragic, indeed,_ he replied.

Their light conversation had a hint of desperation in it, as if they both wanted to pretend that things were better than they actually were. But Erik was taking everything he could get, even it was bad jokes.

They were quiet for a long while. Erik felt like he needed to bring up the whole roof incident, even if he didn't want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. But he knew that they needed to talk about it.

-Charles..." he started, getting serious. -How are...How are you holding up?" he asked, even if took effort to ask it aloud.

Charles' smile disappeared and he looked away.

Erik bit his lip. -Yesterday was..."

_Erik_, Charles interrupted._ Please. If you want to help...then, give me time. That's all I ask. But I would prefer not to...talk about it. Any of it._

Erik nodded, and he was almost relieved to be able to avoid all the serious talk because he was so bad at it. And he understood. He had never wanted to talk about any of his own inner thoughts and problems, either. Erik chose his next words carefully. -Alright. But...you have to give me your word you will never, ever, do anything like that again."

Charles turned to look at him so quickly that it almost startled Erik. He looked surprised to find such passion in Erik's voice. He scanned every inch of Erik's face. -Promise me," Erik breathed out through his teeth. Because even if Erik couldn't heal Charles' sorrow, he could at least make sure that he would never have to even think about Charles doing something to himself.

A pause.

Erik became more demanding.

-Charles..."

-I promise," Charles said aloud, and hearing Charles actually talking non-telepathically made Erik freeze for a moment. But it also convinced him that Charles was serious. He sounded somewhat reluctant, but solemn.

-Good," Erik muttered. -That's good." he said. He looked down and didn't quite know what to do with his hands. The memories from the roof would haunt him for a long time to come. -You gave me one hell of a scare."

_I know. For that, I'm sorry._

Erik wanted to forget the whole thing as soon as possible. It felt like this was the end of the discussion, and was unsure what would happen next. Fortunately, Charles interrupted his thoughts.

_Actually, if you really want to help, Erik, then you could fetch me my chair. I'd like to get moving._

Erik got up from the bed, almost with too much enthusiasm to leave the room. -Where is it?"

_I have several. But the nearest one is the third room on the left,_ Charles explained. _This one_, he added, and sent Erik a mental image of the right door.

Erik nodded and turned towards the door. -I'll get it." he said.

Then he disappeared into the corridor.

The air there seemed somehow much colder than in the small, bright room; even if Erik knew it really wasn't.

After a moment of walking further, Erik's steps slowed down until he came to a halt. He just had to stop for a short while, and turn back to look at the room Charles was in.

There, in the quiet and dim light of the mansion, in the privacy of the moment, Erik allowed himself to breathe in and out.

In and out.

The air flowed, easily.

This moment was meant just for him, and he had finally time to think. Even just for a few heartbeats.

Erik realized many things during those moments he stood in place. Like that he wouldn't have had any idea what to do with himself if Charles had gone off the edge of the roof yesterday. If he had truly lost Charles forever. Erik couldn't imagine a world without Charles in it. It seemed like a surreal alternate reality that he didn't want to even picture.

Come to think of it, Erik couldn't even remember how he had functioned before he had saved Charles from the labs. It was ridiculous. And haunting. Charles had become his priority, the center of his days. And, frighteningely enough, Erik couldn't name much of things he wouldn't do for Charles' sake. He could murder and manipulate and attack if it came to it. It made no sense, because they still had so much things unresolved between them. Nonetheless, Erik felt violently protective over Charles. The Chimera couldn't have him.

It was almost posessive, how strongly Erik reacted even just to the idea of someone trying to hurt Charles.

How could he become so attached to one person? If anyone ever asked for Erik's affection or attention, they wouldn't get it. But that was the problem. Charles didn't ask anything from him. Never had.

That kept drawing Erik back, time after time.

He couldn't even understand why.

But the more Erik spent time with Charles, the less angrier he felt.

And the more Erik spent time with Charles, the less he missed being Magneto.

Quite frankly, Erik wasn't even so sure _who_ Magneto was anymore.

Magneto was made of guilt and anger and pain. And Charles was like an antidote to every single one of those.

It was like Erik's heart and head had been cold and dead deserts for a very long time, and now after all these years, there were dark flowers suddenly blooming out of them. Even if Erik had been sure nothing could ever grow there - that he had slowly become as careless and chilly as the metal he could bend.

Now he was starting to realize that wasn't quite true.

Sunlight threw pillars of light onto the wooden floors, and Erik stared in silence at the dust dancing on the air.

When he finally turned around to continue his way, his steps were lighter than they had been in years.


	18. Chapter 18

Sharing some of Charles' telepathy was now bearable, when Charles was shielding and blocking most of the incoming noise.

Erik even got used to it after some while. It was like having a radio on in the same room, but now the volume wasn't hurting his ears. It was irritating, yes, but nothing Erik couldn't live with. And Erik just knew that Charles was very likely sparing him a little too, and taking most of the toll on himself. It was stupid that Charles wasted his still shaky energy on that, but at the same time Erik really appreciated it. And it was so Charles - to go into his own shell and deal with things inside, hidden from the outside world.

Erik understood Charles now so much better than all those years before.

They were much more alike than Erik had ever realized.

But when Erik took his rage on the outside world, Charles took it out on himself.

That was the main difference between them.

Erik could still feel the heavy traces of mourning and sorrow bleeding through the link from Charles' end. Erik knew Charles was blaming himself for Hanks' death, no matter how stupid it was to do so. But Charles had asked Erik to give him time and space, so that's exactly what Erik was trying to do.

They kept their distance for a while. But this time, it was comfortable, and not strained.

Erik went downstairs, and finally allowed himself to sleep properly.

Charles was now wheeling around in the mansion, visiting rooms Erik didn't even know of. Erik only let him go further away after Charles convinced him that he could sense if there were people coming anywhere near, since his telepathy was now fully restored. And after all, Erik was only a thought away.

Even so, Erik felt the urge to sleep one eye open, just in case. But his exhaustion finally took its toll, and he slept for a long while.

During the day, Erik tried not to listen any slips coming through Charles' end. He was curious, but he also wanted to return the favour of the privacy Charles was trying to give to him. But Erik could still feel a ghost ache in his own chest where Charles was hurting, where the bleeding and gaping wound of Hank was still sore and fresh and raw. Erik guessed the feeling was so strong that Charles couldn't completely block it from transferring.

Once upon a time Erik might have called Charles weak for that, but now the thought didn't even cross his mind.

* * *

Hours passed by, and Erik felt like a whole new person after proper sleep and cleaning up.

He wondered where Leap or Frost had gone to, since Leap was supposed to contact all of the members of the Brotherhood. He hadn't heard anything from Leap. But it was too early to get nervous over the silence. Erik tried to dull down his bad feeling.

There was nothing else to do but wait.

* * *

In the end, it was surprisingly easy, this.

Living in the mansion, just the two of them.

When the nightfall started to close in, Erik wandered off to find Charles. He found him in one of the small rooms near the main stairways, back turned and sitting still.

Erik approached him quietly, but made sure Charles heard he was coming. Even so, Charles didnt' react to him.

Erik walked slowly besides Charles, and only then saw what Charles was holding. There was a large black suitcase on his lap open, and it was full of syringes. Erik didn't have to guess twice what they contained, and felt suddenly at loss what to say.

There was suddenly tension crawling into the room, unsaid things thickening the air.

-Charles?" Erik called.

His voice sounded loud.

Charles didn't answer, and Erik glanced around. He realized this was one of Charles' many work rooms, piled with books and papers and everything else. Erik couldn't see Charles' face from this angle - he would have needed to kneel down next to him or go further away from the chair, and Erik didn't feel like doing either.

-Sixteen." Charles finally said, after such a long pause that Erik was sure Charles had just been ignoring him.

-There's sixteen syringes in here," Charles explained, surprisingly talking aloud, but his voice sounded distant. -Hank always made some of these if we ever needed to leave quickly to somewhere."

Erik felt like he needed to be tip-toeing around the subject. -Is that all of them?"

Charles huffed without any joy. -No. There's loads more."

Erik wasnt' sure what to think. Did this mean Charles wanted to go back on the serum? Or was he just...trying to make sense of things? It wasn't like Erik could blame him for wanting the serum back. Even with all of the shielding, Charles still had so many voices and emotions coming at him all the time. And of course, his legs were gone for good at the moment.

In the end, Erik stayed quiet. He found it a little alarming that Charles was talking so much aloud, and not telepathically.

The dark room seemed suddenly an unwelcoming place.

-I used to faint a lot after Hank injected these, you know." Charles muttered.

Erik raised an eyebrow. He didn't like the idea.

Charles was dragging his fingers across one of the syringes, the liquid in them shifting with the faint movement. -But then my tolerance grew, and Hank made a lot of alterations."

Charles' voice had almost reached the dangerously hollow tone like back in the roof, but this time Erik sensed that it wasn't spiraling into anything critical.

Charles tilted his head. -Hank was so careful with these. He loved his work. But he also wanted to make sure that no one else couldn't get their hands into the recipe of the serum, in case the worst happened and humans would start injecting these to the mutants like our powers were a disease or a plague. Using it as a vaccine of a sort. In the end, he remembered the amounts and required chemicals by heart, and destroyed all of his notes and papers. How clever of him."

Erik could only nod. -Indeed."

There was a short pause.

Charles breathed heavily in.

-If I was strong enough, I would destroy these," he breathed out, suddenly vulnerable, and his voice broke a little. -There's too much of a risk for them getting into the wrong hands. They could be developed into a weapon. But I find myself unable to do it."

Erik held his breath. He simultaneously felt glad that Charles had finally realized the danger humans caused, but somehow he felt sad too. Optimism and faith in the goodness in people had always been a core part of Charles, and no matter how much fights they had had about this earlier, witnessing a moment like this made Erik feel guilty. Guilty for making Charles see danger and pessimism, no matter how much Charles needed it for his own safety.

Erik shifted awkwardly, confused what to do.

Heavy seconds passed.

Suddenly Charles looked up, and even in the dim light, Erik could see his eyes glistening. -Would you do it for me, Erik, if I asked you to?"

And Erik felt a very quick slash of agony from Charles' end, and he suddenly realized that the reason Charles was talking aloud and not telepathically must have been because of Charles' inner emotional pain. Charles was in so much emotional distress that he had to talk aloud, otherwise the sorrow would have leaked through. Erik felt empathy twisting his own features.

-I would," he said softly. -But I think that they aren't mine to destroy."

Charles swallowed. -I thought you enjoyed destroying things," he said half-jokingly, but there was sharpenss in those words too. Erik's chest ached to hear the truth in them.

-Not when it comes to you," Erik said quietly, honesty thick in his voice. Charles blinked in surprise.

Erik felt suddenly like he couldn't keep it in anymore. -I...I always blamed myself for what happened to you in Cuba," he choked out, and he felt like the weight of over ten years of guilt and self-loathing over this rushed forward with the confession.

Charles just stared back.

Erik bit his lip so hard he almost drew blood. -I didn't think I would ever say it aloud. But there you go." he said with an unstable voice.

Erik had to look away because he couldn't stand facing Charles for the moment. -I always blamed you too," Charles whispered. Erik squeezed his eyes shut, poignant guilt making knots to his throat.

Erik shook his head angrily. -If there was anything...anything I could do to change the way the bullets were flying...Or even stopped them instead of redirecting them..." Erik mumbled.

Charles let out a sigh. -Erik..."

-I _would_ do that. Without a second thought. I never wanted to hurt you. Not really." Erik added hastily. He knew he was rambling now, but couldn't stop it. -I had so much time to think back on this while I was being held as a prisoner. I thought of million ways it could have done differently. I blamed Moira, but she wasn't the problem. She never wanted to shoot you, and at some point, I couldn't keep telling myself that. I knew it was my hand that put the bullet into your spine, not Moira's or anyone else's."

-Erik..." Charles called again, this time more softer.

-But I can't change anything. I can't make miracles happen," Erik muttered, and he hated how shaky his voice was because of all the pent-up and denied guilt was suddenly taking over with a full force. -I did this to you," he finally whispered, and his eyes burned.

-Erik, please," Charles repeated, but Erik couldn't still even look at him. Charles reached for his arm and softly touched it. -Erik, please, look at me."

Erik did, even if it took effort. He knew bare guilt was probably written over his face, but he couldn't do anything to mask it. Charles' emotions were clearly painted on his face, too.

-I always blamed you," Charles said, but his voice was soft and his fingers were curling around Erik's arm in case Erik tried to turn away again. -I was so angry at you for so many years. There was so much hate. I felt so helpless, so useless." he whispered, and Erik wanted to escape from the room, but Charles' hand kept him on place. Every word hurt.

-But..." Charles said, shaking his head. -It won't change anything. Not the hate, nor the guilt. I have made my peace with this. I want to walk so badly, to run, to climb up stairs and move as easily as everyone else. But at what cost? Denying who I am, losing my faith, pushing everyone out, injecting drugs into my own body. No. As much as I want to I want to preserve these syringes, I want to destroy them too. I can't even tell you how much I would like to have one of them right now, to quiet down the voices and the pain that don't belong to me. But I won't. I know I shouldn't escape who I am. And...I don't want to feel your guilt anymore, Erik, because I have been able to feel it all this time. It's so strong that it would be impossible not to. You're radiating it. It drains you, and feeds your anger, and you have so much of it already. And I still think that there is more to you than just pain and anger. Even after everything."

Erik swallowed. His knees felt wobbly. -Is...is this forgiveness?" he whispered, almost unable to believe his ears.

Charles looked both sad and hopeful.

There was a short pause before Charles spoke again. -No, not yet. But...I'm willing to try. Not because you saved my life, not because so much time had passed, or not because I'm tired of sensing your guilt. Not even because you finally admitted you did a mistake. I'm willing to try because of_ you._..I'm giving you another chance, Erik, if that means anything to you."

Erik's ears almost rang for the sudden load of feelings he was having: shock, relief, guilt. He could only nodd. _It does_, Erik sent to Charles, because his throat felt too thick to talk.

Charles' lips drew into a small smile, even if his eyes were still glistening. -Maybe we can call it a truce, then."

Erik bit his lip and shifted his weight, trying to deal with the relief. _Truce. Yes. Truce it is._

Charles let go of his arm, and turned back to the syringes. Erik spent some seconds catching his breath, feeling almost weightless since most of his sharpest old guilt was gone and starting to unravel. He hadn't even realized how much it had been weighing him down, all those years. It might never be gone, but for the first time, Erik thought it could get easier. Charles had given him permission not to punish himself over what had happened. It felt like absolution of a kind. Like balm to his old, infected wonds.

Maybe their past wouldn't ruin everything for the rest of their lives, after all.

Maybe there was still hope.

And Erik hung on to it like a life-line.

* * *

After some long silence, Charles finally closed the lid of the case and covered the syringes again. He caressed the surface of the black material. Then he patted it.

_Not yet, _he said to Erik. _Not quite yet,_ he added to himself. Then he wheeled himself just a few inches nearer to a table and set the syringes down there. He grabbed some books and set them on top of the suitcase, decently hiding them for plain sight.

Erik watched him to do it. Erik knew he could get rid of the syringes behind Charles' back if he wanted to, but Erik just knew that this was something that he could choose to do. He didn't even want to. He could respect Charles' choice and decision, and not blame him for it. Disturbingly enough, that would have never been the case before, Erik quietly realized. If this had happened right after the Trask mission, Erik would have probably yelled at Charles, throwing him accusations and contempt for using the serums or having them in the first place.

It seemed surreal.

Erik was somewhat disturbed to find his own behavior so critically changed.

When Charles finally turned towards him, Erik took a step towards the door. He suddenly had an idea, and he threw a calculating look on Charles and hesitated.

Charles lifted an eyebrow.

For a moment, they were both quiet.

Charles clearly waited Erik to say something.

Erik cleared his throat. -Chess?" he suggested.

It felt more like an actual peace offering than anything else. Chess had always been their way of spending time with each other, of matching wits and having something solid to do. And just like with chess, Erik felt like he was making the first move for asking something like this. Also, the simple question wasn't as simple as it sounded, like it held more meaning to it. Erik feared rejection so badly that he almost spoke again and drew his suggestion back, but then Charles flashed a weak smile.

-Alright," he agreed easily, and moved towards the door.

_I'll go easy on you_," Charles added, now telepathically, when he passed Erik. His words were exactly the same as the ones Erik had spoken during their Trask mission in the airplane. Erik was surprised to see something almost smug cross Charles' face briefly before he pushed the door open.

Erik couldn't help but to let out a wry smile for the private joke. It was also a good sign that Charles had gone back to using his telepathic voice.

-You better not cheat," Erik replied threateningly before he followed Charles through the door. -No peeking into my head."

_Agreed_, came the distantly amused reply.

As Erik let Charles lead the way, he felt like a weight had fallen off his chest.

* * *

They had several matches of chess.

They spent a lot of time in silence, just calculating their moves. Sometimes, their eyes would meet across the empty space. Sometimes they talked for a while, but even the long quiet pauses didn't feel awkward.

It was...comfortable.

Easy. As breathing or blinking.

Erik stole a glance or two to observe Charles when he was thinking about his next move. The chess gave a welcomed distraction to everything else.

But even so, Erik couldn't help but to notice that something had changed between them. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what, or how, but there was definitely something.

It was like their earlier contempt and bitterness had started to dissolve, and was replaced by something else. Like cracks were starting to heal. Slowly, maybe, but healing anyway.

Erik lit up the fireplace, and soon shadows were dancing all over the room and on Charles' face. Erik watched them slowly turning and changing on Charles' skin and face, reflecting from his eyes as they scanned the chess board.

He felt a distant ache for their earlier strong telepathic connection that he had gotten a taste of. Of melting into one.

Erik wondered what would happen if Charles would give in too; if it wasn't just Erik trying to reach for him. Erik toyed with the idea of their link being open, enhanced by physical touch, and they both were reaching forward.

Erik poured himself another drink, enjoying the way it vaguely burned him in the dim room.

Charles' eyes flickered to him across on his own glass. _Your turn._

Erik didn't take his eyes off Charles when he moved one of the pieces on the board with a faint flick of his power.

Charles didn't turn to look at the board either.

They kept looking at each other, while the fire rattled quietly and made lights waltz slowly on every surface.

Second passed, and Charles downed a mouthful of the expensive brandy they were sharing. Erik had too much time to observe how the muscles on Charles' neck worked, and how his breathing caused small steam for the shortest of seconds to the glass.

Charles swallowed, and placed the glass on the table with a soft clanging sound.

Erik tried to draw his eyes away, but the game seemed less interesting than the odd feeling sparking beneath the empty space between them. He tried to observe it, but there was nothing solid. It wasn't the angry tension they had had before. It had morphed into something else entirely, something almost comfortable, something soft but as strong as before.

Their eye contact broke when Charles turned to look at Erik's newest move.

Erik swung the liquid around inside his own glass that he was holding, so he had something to do with his hands.

There was a constant burn somewhere deep inside him, and Erik blamed the brandy.

Time went on, until the fire turned to embers.

* * *

When the nightfall came, they stopped playing for the day.

Instead, they headed back and Erik put out the lights from the rooms as he walked a few steps behind Charles' chair, not even bothering to use anything else but his powers.

Erik glanced at the big living room that had sort of become his new room, even if it wasn't an actual room at all. Erik had slept there, even if the open space made him feel a bit restless. He had spent such a long time in a padded small cell that having so much space around him and on top of him seemed unnatural. Erik had gotten also used to sleeping next to Charles in the cabin, and being so close to him had made Erik sleep better because he knew he was right next to Charles if something were to happen. But of course, having an enormous mansion for just the two of them meant that there was no reason to cram themselves into one small room. Even if, surprisingly enough, Charles was now using one of the siderooms on the ground floor for himself, and not the biggest ones the house had.

Erik was sure that this place could hold in an army if needed; he still hadn't even visited every room there was. Charles was probably the only one who knew the whole mansion inside and out.

Charles moved quietly forward, and Erik followed him until the living room came into view and Erik spotted the blankets and messy pillows from the earlier night he had slept in. He stopped to stand there, and it took a moment before Charles noticed he had stopped following. He turned himself around and gave Erik a questioning look.

-It's time to sleep, isn't it?" Erik said.

Charles glanced at the make-shift bed, then Erik.

_You know, you can pick any room you want. Something that you like, and you can have it._

Erik huffed. It still sometimes struck him how much space and money Charles actually had. The Xavier wealth was endless, and Erik almost forget it at times.

Charles sighed. _Erik, I can sense you don't like this place. So don't stay in it._

Erik crossed his arms and leant to a sofa. He almost made a comment about Charles reading into his moods, but then again he knew Charles wasn't probably doing it on purpose.

-I'm not tired just yet," Erik replied.

Charles gave him a puzzled look. Then his lips turned into a faint smile. -Well, I am, but you can accompany me for a while if you like."

Erik just gave a quick nod, before he began walking again. Charles turned towards his own bedroom, and Erik followed in silence.

They entered the room, and Charles moved himself from the chair to the bed with surprising ease. Erik could only watch - Charles had clearly had practise. But the automatic stab of old guilt over Charles' legs wasn't as bad as it had been before. Erik was ready to offer his help, but Charles didn't seem to need it. It made Erik glad.

Charles lifted his legs to the bed and covered them with a blanket. Erik stood by, not really sure what he was supposed to do.

Charles gestured him to come closer, and Erik sat slowly on the edge of the bed like the day before.

_It's raining outside,_ Charles commented.

Now that he mentioned it, Erik glanced towards the wall and saw long drops of water dripping down the window. The soft sound of the rain hitting the roof could be heard in the empty mansion, but Erik had always found the overall sound relaxing. Safe.

Something in the corner of Erik's eye caught his attention, and he turned to look at Charles reaching for a nightstand self and pulling something out of it. It was a small box. Erik stared at it quizzically.

-What's that?"

_Something that belongs to you,_ Charles said and offered the box to him. Erik looked at the box, then Charles warily. Charles just flashed a weak smile._ Just take it._

Erik reached for the small box and adjusted his position a little on the bed. He glanced at Charles, uncertainly. Charles tilted his head. _Open it._

Erik raised an eyebrow, and carefully opened the lid. It revealed several pieces of misformed heaps of metal, and two almost-round metal balls. Erik's mouth dropped open as nostalgia and recognition hit him at the same time. He was stuck by an old memory, from so many years ago, when Charles had taught him to control his powers, and to channel them.

He had to stare for a while before he could speak.

-Why did you keep these?" Erik whispered.

Charles huffed, as if Erik didn't know the answer. _Because they were the first multiple objects you mastered to control, Erik._

Erik lifed his hand and picked one of the metal pieces up in the air. The metal felt good and heavy in his arms, the uneven lines rough and satisfying. Erik caressed them with his fingertips, feeling the metal humming to him, waiting his call.

He could remember now. Everything, in great detail. He had been trying to master his powers, all those years ago, and Charles had given him these to practise with. Erik had almost destroyed so many of them, and got so frustrated over his own incompetency. But then he had managed to force the metal, to re-shape it, even if it took months and months to practise. But Charles had insisted he kept on doing it, and Erik had had the habit of levitating few of the metal chunks just above his hand where ever he went. He made them go in circles, to spin, drop, hit the ceiling. Erik played with them until he knew the exact angle and size and weight of the pieces, so controlling them came naturally.

It had become one of his instinctive habits. He could tear stadiums off their hinges, and move submarines and tanks, but mastering tiny chuncks or balls of metal was delicate and somehow as terrifying to many people as moving huge objects was. Even after he and Charles had gone their different ways, Erik had often absentmindedly kept his powers trained with small pieces like this. Just like Charles had taught him to do.

Erik had used this particular trick to break glass, crush skulls, and scare people so many times.

But now, he only felt affection towards the metal. If felt like holding your childhood's favorite toys after a long while. Erik looked up to Charles. His voice was rough. -Thank you."

Charles let out a faint smile. _Don't thank me, they belong to you. They were a gift, after all._

Erik squeezed the box a little tighter. Charles had given them to him so many years ago, it felt like a small forever. Erik dropped his gaze back to the pieces, and examined them carefully.

_Show me_, Charles asked.

-What?"

_Show me what you can do with them, _Charles said. Erik thought of rejecting the idea, but he _had_ missed practising and the feeling of power surging through him.

So after a moment, Erik let the metal pieces float out of the box and into the air. They hung there, obediently, waiting for his commands. Erik watched them with warmth. He made them move in a slow circle, and it came from his subconcious as easily as riding a bike after years of pause.

Charles watched, and Erik glanced at him. His gaze was intense, and observing, and Erik felt a rush of pride to see that. Carefully, Erik pushed the metal pieces closer and let them drop a little lower, so that they were moving right in front of Charles.

Charles lifted his hand carefully towards one of them, and Erik concentrated on floating it down and stopping it, so Charles could grab it. Charles tilted his head and took a careful grip on the piece, turning it around in the air. Erik watched his every move; it barely even strained him to keep the other objects moving further away on the air between them.

After a moment, Charles let the one piece go, and Erik lifted it up among the others. Then, he split most of the pieces in two, and shaped them to more regular sizes and forms. One he made into a pyramid, one cube, and he made one of the almost-round balls rounder. It was like art; trying to find the right amount of pressure and movement.

He felt so appreciated, in this moment, of getting such an attention from Charles. For receiving acceptance, even awe, for what he was and what he could do. Erik had forgotten how that felt like. He had stopped appreciating his power long ago. It was just a tool and weapon among other things. It had been drowned under hatred and revenge.

But now, he could feel his own joy over controlling the metal, of bending it and feeling it. Getting to the most basic level, of doing somethign that was only his.

And Charles watched everything so carefully, and Erik had a feeling he knew what he had been trying to do when he had asked this of Erik. But Erik didn't really mind. Feeling good about himself was so worth it.

Slowly, he started to lower he pieces towards the box, until they were all safely tucked in there. It was like acrobacy, setting them down one by one. Then Erik closed the lid.

_Thank you, Erik. That was...wonderful._

Erik bit his lip. Nobody had ever asked him to use his powers like this beside Charles.

Nobody made him beam with pride like this.

It made no sense.

Erik caressed the surface of the box before he set it down on the bed, and looked up to Charles. -I'm surprised you kept them." he said quietly.

Charles looked away awkwardly. _Yes, well...There are a lot of things here that haven't been moved or thrown away. Things that belong to people that...are gone. Or dead. People that won't be coming back._

Erik took a quick breath._ Not all of them, it seems, _he replied.

Charles' eyes flickered to his. Erik gave a weak, wry smile.

Suddenly something like sorrow twisted Charles' face, and he took in a shuddering breath. He studied Erik's face, and desperation flashed in his eyes. He clearly had to gather himself, and he took a moment before he hung his head, avoiding Erik's eyes. _I'm...I'm glad you're here, Erik._

Erik raised an eyebrow for the sudden confession, but couldn't help smile tugging in his lips.

But grief bled through the link from Charles, and Erik's smile faded.

_I really am. There's...there's no one else._

Erik sighed, helplessly remembering how desperate Charles had sounded on the roof. -You're not alone, Charles."

Charles' face shot up. Suddenly something like a dam broke in him, and some of his desperation lashed through. _But I am, aren't I? What happens when you leave? When do I clean this place of things that belong to people that have either left me behind, died or got killed? Where do I put my mother's clothes? Or Hanks' books? Raven's things? Banshee's suit? Your old belongings?_

Erik opened his mouth, but Charles interrupted him, this time quietly and sadly. _There's just so much._

-Well I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, so you can stop wondering about that" Erik said, with a hint of irritation. Then he calmed himself and took a deep breath. Erik rearranged his face to a softer one, and tilted his head so he could search Charles' gaze.

Charles looked at him, so tiredly and sadly.

-I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon." Erik said, truthfully. Charles sighed and nodded, biting his lip, looking guilty.

_I'm sorry. I shouldn't...I shouldn't have bothered you with this_,_ Erik. _

Erik raised an eyebrow. -No. Being alone and suffering in silence is what you should_ not_ do. I'm so sick of it. You don't have to stand the whole world's pain, Charles. You don't have to play the martyr. You_ shouldn't_ be the martyr. "

Charles looked surprised.

For a moment, the distant tapping of the rain was the only sound in the room.

Erik felt a rush of empathy and irritation at the same time. -Just...don't shut everyone out. I never knew anything about you or your powers, before you got caught. Not really. You never tried explaining to me what being a telepath is like. You never told me about your past. You never asked for help, or support, even if you could have really used it. Because Charles, I would have _listened_."

Charles dropped his gaze on his hands._ Don't I deserve your help without you learning all about me? Don't I deserve any of your attention without the tragedy I've experienced? You shouldn't congratulate me on experiencing so much pain, Erik. Your respect for me shouldn't be conditional, and depending on the fact that you know I understand stuffering._

Erik gaped at him. -I'm...It's not. I'm just...I'm just saying that you never even tried to make me understand. Charles, I let_ you_ see my memories, I let you in. I did that because I trusted you enough. But...you never accepted me. You never let me close. You kept everyone out, always."

Charles didn't answer.

Erik let out a long sigh and rolled his eyes, throwing his hands to the air. -And now you're doing it again. Are you afraid of letting people close? Is that it? Because it sure as hell looks like th-..."

-Yes!" Charles hissed with such passion that it startled Erik. Charles had turned to look at him, and now his eyes were so filled with agony that it seemed to radiate through the air.

Charles' eyes glistened. -Don't you see? Everyone I ever love, or care about, either abandon me or die. And it hurts, Erik, it _hurts_ so much. I always end up alone, in this mansion, with a roomfuls of things to remind me of the people I've lost. Why should I let anyone in? Why should I get attached to anyone, when it only brings me pain? Call me a coward, then, but the answer is yes. I'm scared of caring about people. I don't want anyone to understand, or see. I don't want anyone learning everything about me. Look at you, for example. You were my best friend, and so dear to me. And you leaving me behind hurt more than anything, even more than Raven. Should I feel better for thinking that you wouldn't have abandoned me if you had known all the things you know now? Because I don't think so, Erik. Our pain are a part of us, but it shouldn't define who we are. It shouldn't be a condition for you caring about me."

-I never STOPPED caring about you, you idiot!" Erik hissed, now getting quickly angry. For a moment, he just breathed hard in and out, and looked desperately at Charles. -You really don't see it, don't you? You never have. No matter how many times I tell you this - you are _not_ a tool. You are _not_ a weapon. You were my best friend, and my time with you made me happier than I've ever been. I wouldn't have spent years and years feeling guilty and missing you, or being angry at you, if I didn't give a shit about you. How hard is that to understand, Charles? What do I still need to do for you to understand that? I cared about you all this time, but now that I understand the things that used to make me angry a bit better than before, I care you about even _more_."

Charles blinked in awe, like he had never even considered the things Erik was saying. Erik felt vulnerable for spilling his heart out so openly, and felt his voice cracking a little. He hated it, but couldn't do anything about it. -What use is isolation when it only drives you to loneliness, or bitterness or alcohol? How can you think that shutting everyone out is a good thing, when it drove you to the edge of a fucking roof?"

On top of everything, Erik felt his eyes burning threateningly with angry tears. -It _insults_ me that you rather went up there and almost killed yourself rather than let me in."

Charles stared at him, eyes wide. _That wasn't...it wasn't about you..._

-Yes it was! And don't even try to tell me it wasn't. I was the only one here. I've been with you all this time. Everyone else is gone. It's just me and you, and you don't want to let me in. You said that you were glad I'm here, Charles, and let me tell you something - it doesn't feel like that. You feel like you're million miles away. You push me away, all the time. You pushed me away before. You didn't even let me have a glimpse into your mind, even if I let you get inside of mine."

Charles shook his head, swallowing. For a moment it seemed like he was about to argue, but then all energy seemed to drain out of him. He looked pained as he searched Erik's eyes. _What do you want, Erik?_

Erik took a calming breath. He looked at Charles with pleading eyes. -To return my trust. To...stop shutting me out."

Charles looked like he was torn, and Erik could almost feeling him getting distant again. Like Charles was already slipping behind the careful walls he always kept up. And Erik already felt a wave of sorrow and rejection, and dark insecurity taking a hold of him.

But then suddenly, something on Charles' face changed. He looked suddenly uncertain, and more open like Erik had never quite seen before. Like he was throwing all of his cards to the table as a desperate, tired act. His shoulders sagged. _Alright, _he whispered.

-W-what?" Erik asked, dumbfounded.

Charles swallowed. _I said alright, Erik. I can show you, if you want me to. I can...I can let you into my head, if that's truly what you wish. _

Erik was so astonished that he could barely make sense of what he was hearing.

Something akin to hurt flashed in Charles' face. _Or are you regretting of ever asking me that already?_

-No!" Erik breathed out. -No, I'm not." he quickly added. -I'm _not_."

Charles threw him one more intense look, like calculating his decision one more time. Erik feared that he might drew his offer back if he thought it too long, so Erik just propped himself up better to bed, expressing that he was ready.

_You don't even know what you're asking, Erik,_ Charles suddenly said quietly, and he looked suddenly much older than he actually was._ I wouldn't...I'm not sure if..._

-Just do it," Erik muttered. -And stop worrying. For once, just _stop_."

Charles looked like something in Erik's words had struck a chord, and suddenly he looked so tempted to take Erik's advice. Shadow of loneliness flashed in his face, before he finally nodded.

_Alright. But I have to warn you, this can be...intense. You have to be sure you..._

-Yes, I'm sure," Erik said.

Charles quieted, like getting ready. Then he slowly lifted his hands into the air, and Erik realized this was really going to happen. Beforeo that very second, he hadn't actually believed Charles would do it. Erik felt a sudden rush of nervousness, fear and excitement at the same time, even if he tried to appear calm. This was really happening, and Erik felt priviledged. Important. Exceptional.

And yet, he was slightly terrified too.

Charles placed his hands on the sides of Erik's face, and their link sparked into life.

Charles' touch were once again light and gentle. Charles searched his eyes. _Ready?_ he asked, and his voice was now very clear and bright in Erik's head. Erik nodded.

And then Charles entered his mind - Erik could recognize it happening. It was like warmth spreading inside his head, a familiar presence, and...just _Charles_. His movements were careful and slow, as if to make sure Erik could keep up and follow. Erik could feel Charles lowering the shields around their link, and the more he did, the more emotions and flashes from Charles' side started to flow towards Erik.

The walls between were getting thinner.

Erik caught concentration from Charles. Sorrow. Uncertainty.

And slowly, Erik could feel his own senses increasing and the previous physical connection returning - he started hearing Charles' heartbeat. At first quietly, and then it got stronger. Then Erik could sense Charles' eyelids blinking, the way the room felt a little cold to him, and how oxygen was going in and out to his lungs. The way his muscles worked as he swallowed. Charles' unmoving legs, the way his arms felt when he held them up in the air.

Erik devoured all of the new sensations as they became stronger and broader. Deeper. Warmer.

But then Erik felt something completely new, that he hadn't ever experienced before: he could feel Charles pulling him forward, towards the link. Towards Charles' own mind.

Erik let himself be lead, and Charles guided him safely. Erik felt nervous for getting so far from his own head and thoughts, but never once did he feel afraid of losing himself. He knew Charles would never let that happen, in any circumstances, and it was the trust that made Erik follow him so easily.

And then, the sensations got sharper, and Erik felt he was slipping right to the edge of the link. It was like approaching a bonfire - everything got lighter and warmer, and every surface more clearer. Suddenly his head was filled with physical sensations coming from Charles - his heartbeat was loud and clear in Erik's mind. And the sharp sorrow and grief that Charles was feeling transferred to Erik, the grief for Hank, and for everyone else ever lost, and it kicked the air out of Erik.

It seemed to take ages, but then again also like a blink of an eye.

Then Charles set Erik down, right at the edge of their link, and let Erik watch and listen, like he was standing in front of a theatre's red curtains and getting a peek.

Erik felt like he was receiving so much from Charles, and it was as intense as day before, but even then it didn't feel enough. It was like getting tastes of foods but never properly eating. And Erik was hungry, he wanted to know more, feel more, see more. Erik watched as the edge of Charles' mind brushed his, so different from his own but as brilliant as Erik had always imagined it to be.

Erik's sense of time and space was disappearing, because he got lost in witnessing everything from Charles. He could have done it for hours, just learning how Charles' thoughts and emotions flashed and morphed, how his body's sensations leaked through the link.

But Erik wanted to go deeper, so he searched for the odd static-like magnetism he had found in there earlier. To his surprise and relief, he spotted it with ease. Now that Erik was right at the edge of their link, it pulsed louder. Erik tried to reach for it experimentally, and it answered his call immediately. Erik's power surged inside his head, and he could feel himself slipping closer towards Charles' mind.

Charles' strong surprise and awe hit Erik. Erik instantly knew that Charles wasn't expecting Erik moving on his own, without much effort. But Erik just pushed himself a little more, until he could feel their link's hold getting more distant, and the buzz and movement of Charles' mind and every one of his body's sensations getting stronger. Erik could feel the lines between them blurring, weakening, and everything else getting more vivid.

Erik stopped there, because he felt a sting of fear from Charles. Withdrawal, even.

And even if Erik wanted to go further, to have more, he didn't want to force his way in. He knew Charles could push him away and cut their connection, and that Charles could easily stop him if he wanted to. He was the telepath after all, and he link was his creation - Erik could only use it as a pathway. It was all in Charles' hands now. Erik almost expected him to freak out and withdraw altogether, but to his surprise, Erik remained in place. Charles was radiating confusion and uncertainty, like he was in two minds what to do.

_Charles_, Erik sent, and he could feel the persuading tone vibrating in his own brain too. The name came out as a request, but now that Erik was saying it telepathically, it was also wrapped in warmth and reassurance and trust.

Charles heard him, and his mind swirled frantically as a response. They were so deeply linked now that Charles of course sensed and read what Erik wanted to do - to go deeper, but Charles was hesitating. He felt so unsure of trusting Erik in. But now, Charles couldn't hide his quickly changing emotions from Erik. Erik caught all of them - fear, rejection, insecurity. But there was also a strong sense of ache, yearning, and they were followed by an overwhelming wave of crushing loneliness and need that Erik was shocked to feel, because it was almost too much. There was just so much of it, more than Erik could have ever imagined.

Suddenly it clicked.

Erik could see it now - Charles _wanted_ to let Erik in, but suppressed the need. Charles wanted, even for a short while, to feel unlonely and accepted, and not to care about the world around them.

Erik read all of his emotions through the link effortlessly, even if he couldn't explain it or even name them, because the feelings weren't spoken aloud; Erik could feel them as if they were his own, because the link was sharing everything between them.

Charles hadn't clearly had anyone so close before, Erik could feel his anxiety and self-awareness.

_Charles_, Erik sent again, and this time he was more insistent, the name coming out almost as a prayer.

As an answer, there was a longing so profound and poignant from Charles that Erik couldn't mistake it. Charles wanted to let him in, but just refused to because his logic was loudly protesting against it. Erik could feel how badly Charles wanted to say yes, how his bleeding mental wounds needed just a moment of oblivion and distraction. It was the most basic human feeling of needing someone close, of not wanting to be so alone. Erik listened as Charles' heart took pace, as his breaths came out as gasps, and how hard Charles was fighting not to give in.

So, in the end, Erik shoved himself further just an inch, but it was all took to make Charles' resistance come crumbling down. The shields and blocks he was still holding around Erik just fell away, and Erik could feel Charles giving in like someone who had just lost a long and exhausting fight that they didn't really even want to win.

And suddenly Erik just slipped into Charles' mind, and it felt like galaxies exploded inside his head and his every cell was suddenly on fire. The lines between their bodies just disappeared, and Erik lost even the faintest idea of where he ended and Charles started. He slipped into Charles' lungs, veins, his bloodstream, his heartbeat, and into his mind. And Charles' mind was a breath-taking, brilliant and bright supernova, where everything was fast and swirling and enormous yet still logical. Hot and burning, and but clear as crystal.

Erik was speechless and he lost the last grip on the physical world. Very vaguely he felt like falling, and pulling Charles with him - almost as if they had fallen to the bed, but Erik couldn't be sure and he couldn't remember or care.

It felt like jigsaw puzzle pieces falling into place, like two fabrics getting seamlessly together; as if they had never been two separate pieces at all. Like drinking starlight, and turning into a nebula.

Erik felt like he could die any second, because he almost couldn't bear the wonderful and dizzying feeling. Charles was everywhere around him, and Erik was wrapped around him, tangled in him, melded into him.

And Erik could feel every inch of Charles' skin and body as well as his own, and every shade of Charles' thousand emotions. Erik could only watch, mesmerized, as Charles' tired and mourning mind just let go and let itself reach for Erik, to succumb into him. And Erik could feel Charles' pain and loneliness dulling, numbing down and becoming silent. Healed, for now. They were both a little broken, but not in here. Here, nothing bad could touch them or reach them. Nothing could harm them.

Charles gripped him, almost desperately, needily, wanting to have someone to hold onto. Erik felt Charles' horrible hidden loneliness and isolation like a gaping black holes that were draining Charles' hope and dreams - like the light of the supernova that was his mind was about to fade.

As an instinct, Erik reached protectively even forward, and then he was completely lost.

He didn't even feel like a human being anymore, he felt like a star and blood and bones and skin. And he took a steely grip on Charles, and their minds crashed together, as if it was a rough kiss, because the collision was desperate and needy. Even so, Erik had never felt as satisfied in his whole life.

He felt whole. There was no pain, no anger. He didn't feel out of place.

Erik felt safe, and loved, and safe. He felt like he had come home.

The real world didn't feel real anymore. There was only this, only Charles, and him, and right now they didn't even exist as separate beings.

Erik had never in his life felt anything as intense, intoxicating and addicting as this. Comparing it to anything else felt lame - even having sex or orgasming had nothing on this, it was far more intimate. Deeper. Trusting. Complete. Words could never give justice to it.

And Erik let himself fall into it.

He wouldn't have even cared if he died right now. The world could end, and he wouldn't even notice.

There was only this.

If there truly was a place like heaven, or paradise, it would surely feel like this.

It was enough; it was _everything_.

Somewhere far away, Erik might have been able to feel the rain tapping the window, or seen the dim nightstand lamp sheding light in the small room. Or he could have felt the touch of sheets under him, or seen how he and Charles had both fallen on the bed, faces close, foreheads brushing, Charles' hair almost on Erik's face - how they were breathing on the same rhythm, heartbeats in synch, how one of Charles' hands had slided to Erik's neck and the other was peacefully lying on top of the bed; how he didn't need the physical contact anymore to keep them connected.

But Erik was far away, and everywhere, and he felt perfect.

And he never, ever wanted to leave this place again.


	19. Chapter 19

When Erik finally started to regain some sort of unique awareness of his own, it came back slowly, and he tried to hold on to the remains of the addicting telepathic meld - but to no avail.

It felt like he had been lying in on a cozy and warm bed, and somebody was dragging the blankets away and he was exposed to the cool, dry air instead. Or to winter - because that's how dramatic the difference was - going from sweet oblivion to icy water.

Now that Erik had gotten a true taste of melding into one, of becoming seamlessly united with someone on the deepest level of the minds, he felt like he was freezing and it was like his mind was already quietly weeping for the sudden loneliness and quietness.

But as much as he fought back, Erik could feel his own mind withdrawing through the link and slipping back inside his own head.

He started to feel his own limbs and skin more sharply, and could sense the bed sheets under him. Erik had no memory of falling on top of it, or how long he had been there. He blinked his eyes open with effort, and it seemed odd to have normal eyesight again. The real world returned as dull and unviting place, and Erik could feel all of his insecurities and dark emotions taking their usual place in his chest and head. The burning anger towards the Chimera, the confusion, and the disgust of humans, his mixed emotions over Charles - they all flooded back to him. He became incomplete again, cracked and damaged.

Erik's vision swam back into focus lazily, and he had to wait for a moment before he could actually make out any proper lines or shapes.

The first thing he noticed was that the nightstand lamp was still on, even if the world had gone dark everywhere around it. It was still raining, now even harder than before. Erik breathed out and realized that he was in fact, lying on the bed, and Charles was lying right next to him. So very close. Erik could smell the faint scent of his hair; and as always, it was apples. Erik could feel some of it tickling him. He pulled his head further away to be able to focus his eyes properly, and he took a better look on Charles. Charles stayed unmoving, lying with his hair messily on the sheets, and his eyes were closed. His breathing was slow but regular, and Erik could tell he was fast asleep.

It was probably the reason the connection had faded. After all, it had been Charles enabling it.

Somehow, it was quite heart-warming that their connection had faded because of this, of Charles simply falling asleep - and not because of Charles had rejected Erik or thrown him out.

Rain tapped the window - it had to be the darkest hourst of the night.

Erik felt suddenly like this was a very private moment that he had a permission to witness. It felt like a sign of trust that Erik could be here, even if Charles was sleeping. Erik could easily hurt him, or even kill him, if he wanted to. Not that he would do either in a million years. But the realization that he had that kind of power over Charles right now felt almost intoxicating.

People did _not_ trust Erik. It was just as simple as that.

And Erik was no fool to take offense in that. He hadn't been the most trustworthy person in his life. He had broken a lot of promises, and deceived more people he could even remember. Manipulated and lied. Over and over again.

So being here, in the huge mansion, and being the only one that was with Charles made Erik feel like he had earned some trust.

Just the fact that Charles had allowed him to his mind had spoken volumes to Erik, and he couldn't help but to feel proud.

He was the only one that Charles had done it with. Not even Moira, Raven or Hank had experienced it; Erik could tell. This was something that had been only between them, something unique.

And maybe the reason was because they were both broken, and breath-takingly lonely, right at this moment. Maybe that was why it had happened on the first place. They felt isolated and abandoned, and Charles was in such a dark abyss with his grief. He was suffering and mourning, and despite how much he had tried to cover it all up, Erik had seen his pain and sorrow through their link. It was almost unbelievably strong and agonizing.

So maybe their meld had been desperate, and a little needy, but in the end, Erik didn't care.

He was the one Charles had let in, despite everything.

Erik watched Charles for a moment in the dim room. He could feel the last ripples of their connection fading, sliding behind their link. Erik felt raw and incomplete, and he almost mourned for the loss of the connection.

But he didn't wake Charles up. What could Erik even say? Or do? How could he put any of it into words, or express how...how the meld had felt like? How infinite and perfect it had been?

Only then Erik noticed that Charles' hand was lying on his neck, right above his pulse. It must have fallen there when the connection had kicked in. Erik tried to move slowly as he reached for Charles' wrist and curled his own fingers around it, lifting it gently and then set it down carefully to the bed. Charles didn't fortunately wake up, even if his fingers twitched a little.

Erik froze for a moment.

He could barely believe that after all these years, they would end up right here.

Erik remembered all those years of his imprisonment back in that padded cell, how he had feared that Charles had died sometime during the time he had been locked in there. He had felt like it was the only valid reason Charles could have stayed away for.

But to his surprise, Erik couldn't feel his old bitterness towards Charles anymore.

It was just...gone.

And it was hard for Erik to realize that - he didn't know what to do. If he wasn't angry, or bitter, or feel hate towards Charles, what was he left with? How could he continue now, that his old guilt was resolved, now that they had finally made peace with each other - at least they were trying to - and were so different around each other? And not in a destructive, hateful way? How could Erik go on with the memory of the meld, of his changed views about Charles?

Erik hadn't been in a situation like this in a very, very long time.

Could he even function if there wasn't any anger he could fed on? How could he adapt to something that wasn't built on hate?

Erik sighed. His thoughts were swirling, and his mind was still aching for the connection, but he knew now it wasn't the time for this.

So quietly, Erik pushed himself to sit. He could feel a twinge of drowsy awareness from Charles' end, but it quickly faded as Erik stayed still and waited for a while.

Erik felt shaky as he stood up, and he had to take support from the wall.

For one private moment, Erik allowed himself to squeeze his eyes shut, and he played with the idea of escaping the mansion and going as far as he could. It felt tempting, because Erik wasn't sure how he was supposed to live and be from now on. He almost regretted experiencing the meld, because now he would crave it forever. He just simply knew that nothing that the world could offer could match this. Nothing could be as flawless and complete, and divine.

Nothing in Erik's past or in the future years to come could ever match Charles Xavier, Erik just knew it, and it both terrified and fascinated him to realize that.

Erik felt like he had lost a fight of some kind; like he just didn't have any energy to do it. And like he didn't have any chance to win anyway.

And now, Erik finally believed that there might become a day when the two of them could work together, to achieve great things, like their future versions had. Even if that future had been now erased, and Erik was too much aware of the fact that there was no guarantee they would both live long enough to grow old. But if it depended on Erik, neither of them wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Erik wasn't, after all, about to go down quietly, and he pitied the poor humans who tried to harm Charles one more time. Erik would rip them apart and paint floors with their blood without batting an eyelid. Maybe Raven had been right all along, and he _was_ posessive of the things he truly cared about, but Erik had never been a fan of the semantics. He just knew that whoever wanted to get to Charles, had to go through him first.

Not because Charles was so dangerous if he used his powers the wrong way - and not because he could be useful to Erik. That might have been the case in the beginning when Erik had gone and saved him from the Chimera's labs. Not anymore. Not...not really.

Erik headed silently towards the door. He threw one last glance to the room, before the turned off the metallic switch from the nightstand lamp with an absent-minded flick of his power. The room blacked out into darkness, but Erik could still sense their link humming quietly, even in the darkness and with the distance between them.

It made Erik feel less alone.

Slowly, he turned away, brushing the wall gently as he went.

* * *

When the morning came, Erik started pacing on the living room.

He had slept on one of the small siderooms like Charles had suggested, but ever since he had woken up, there had been a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Erik just knew that something was about to happen soon, and he didn't like the fact that he hadn't seen even the faintest trace of Leap - or Frost for that matter - in a long time. Also, Erik felt nervous to face Charles, too. Their meld had been so intense and intimate that Erik didn't really know how that could change things between them. But in the end, he got so distracted in making plans for the Brotherhood that he didn't even notice Charles entering the room. He had been there for a while before Erik spotted him from the corner of his eye.

Erik's steps faltered and he turned around. Charles was quite far away, and had an unreadable look on his face, and Erik wasn't sure what to make of it. To his relief, though, Erik noticed that Charles' eyes weren't as bloodshot and tired as they had been for so many weeks now. Charles had had constant nightmares, and he still got tired so easily. Now it seemed that he had gotten some proper rest, and if it was because of the meld, Erik felt a rush of pride.

For a moment, they just looked at each other across the empty space.

Then Charles came closer, and Erik felt increasingly nervous. He just nodded as a greeting. Charles came right next to him, stopped there, and then placed his hand on his laps, looking up at Erik.

The odd tension crawled back between them, even if the tone and whole feel of it was crucially different than ever before. Erik didn't know what it was made of, or what kinds of shades it had, but it didn't feel uncomfortable or strained at all.

-It has stopped raining." Erik said simply, because he couldnt' come up with anything else.

_It has,_ Charles replied. He tilted his head and studied Erik's face. _Did you sleep well?_

Erik felt his face twitching a little. -Yes," he said simply, because he wasn't sure what else to say. He hesitated, and almost wished Charles would say something else, but he didn't, he just looked up to Erik like he knew Erik was about to speak. Finally, Erik did open his mouth. -You weren't lying."

Charles raised an eyebrow.

-When you said that...that the mind connection can be intense." Erik said, shifting his weight nervously.

Charles let out a faint smile and dropped his gaze. _Indeed._

It was almost he was flustered, and it made him look so much younger. He stared down at his own hands. _Do you...do you regret asking me to do it?_

_No,_ Erik's mind answered passionately before his mouth could. He forced himself to slow down and take a breath. -No, I'm not." He bit the inside of his cheek. -I'm..."  
What could he even say?

What was there to say?

How could something like the meld be put to words?

Erik cleared his voice. -Just...thank you."

He was so bad at this, and he knew it, but just couldn't help it. And Erik had never been good with thanking people, and it felt flat to do it, because there had been something like galaxies exploding in his synapses and the deepest corners of his mind, including Charles' full presence, and it had been too magnificent for any words that were invented by mankind. So even if Erik tried to think of something else to say, there was just nothing.

There was a hint of amusement from Charles' end of the link, as if he sensed Erik's nervousness.

In the end, Charles just nodded as a reply.

He observed Erik for a while, until something almost like guilt darkened his features. _As grateful I am for hearing that from you, Erik, I know I shouldn't have...made the meld so deep. It was unfair to you. I shouldn't have let you pushed yourself so far. I fear my current emotional losses made me act more reckless than I would have normally, and..._

-Stop." Erik said demandingly. He looked sharply at Charles. -Just _stop._ Don't try to make this whole thing into some kind of twisted abuse from your part, or you taking advantage of me, or using me, or anything like that. That's pretentious. I'm not weak. I _asked_ you to do it."

Erik left out the part where both of them seemed to need the meld much more than they could ever admit aloud. It had been far too needy and clingy to be just experiemental or neutral. But for a moment, they had both felt fine and unbroken, and had been able to escape the real world, and that was more than Erik could have asked for. They had been so open and raw and vulnerable, but it hadn't felt wrong. They had never been so close to each other before the meld, especially in such a fundamental and meaningful way - not even in all those years they had been younger.

Something childish in Erik wondered if Charles really had done it just to make himself feel better - if it could have been anyone he had melded with, and Erik just happened to be here. An ugly voice deep inside his mind asked what if Charles didn't really care about him at all, just tolerated his presence in the mansion? What if Charles was just trying to replace Hank, or cling onto Erik because he was the only one left?

_No._ Erik quickly quieted those thoughts.

He was _nothing_ like Hank. And he could never be. And Charles had had years to meld with Hank, but he never had. And Charles had never asked Erik to stay here - in fact, Charles had never asked Erik for anything at all. So Erik muted his insecurities.

Instead, he forced himself to concentrate.

Charles looked up, and his eyes looked too blue in the morning light. He looked like he was about to still argue about the meld, and Erik just put his hand up.

-No, I don't want to hear it. Stop arguing with me about this." he said and slowly resumed pacing, because he felt edgy just staying put.

Charles was quiet for a long while. He clearly didn't bother arguing, then, and Erik was glad.

He just kept watching Erik go back and forth. After a while, he called to Erik through their link.

_Erik_.

-Mmm?" Erik replied, but was deep in his thoughts. Where could have Leap gone? And where was everyone else? What was the Chimera planning?

_Erik,_ Charles called again, but Erik was too busy with his own thoughts, so he didn't pay proper attention to Charles until Charles simply pushed himself further and grabbed Erik's shirt. Erik had to stop and tumble with his balance for a moment, until he came to a halt and he looked down at Charles.

Charles looked somewhat amused and stubborn at the same time. _You weren't listening._

Erik blinked, and Charles let go of his shirt. -I wasn't that badly distracted," Erik said but felt somewhat embarrassed.

Charles lifted a meaningful eyebrow.

Erik felt ridiculous under that gaze.

Charles eyes filled with something that was almost teasy. _Of course you weren't. But somehow it was either this or making you my marionette._

Erik huffed. -You wouldn't." he mumbled. It seemed like Charles was feeling better than he ever had after the Chimera labs, because he actually smiled up at Erik, and there was a lighter shade to it than usually. It might have been an exhausted smile, but it was still vaguely playful._ I think you'd make a good salsa dancer._

Erik breathed air quickly through his nose and could only shake his head for the ridiculous mental image. He was something between frustrated and amused, but he was grateful to notice the small change in Charles, as if something in him was starting to heal. So Erik just went along with it. -You wouldn't dare." Erik said proudly and lifted his chin. _Unless you want me to make your chair turn into a floating aircraft, _he added. _It's made of mostly metal, remember._

Erik felt slightly unsure whether he could joke about it, but Charles didn't seem to mind. He just kept smiling at Erik.

Erik could only stare back, eyes shining. Their jokes might have been bad but at least it was something. And it seemed like Charles was much more present in the room, like he wasn't thousand miles away and absent-minded like most of the time. It was like the mind meld had given him hope of some kind. Whether it was also about proper rest or not feeling so lonely, Erik couldn't tell. But Charles' eyes were just a bit sharper and brighter, and the heavy cloud of sorrow and apathy above him wasn't as dark as before.

They were quiet for a while.

Then Charles turned more serious. _You're worried, Erik. What are you thinking about?_

-You could always just check." Erik said, but Charles didn't - unsurprisingly - find that funny.

_That would be intrusive of me,_ Charles said in a solemn tone.

Erik rolled his eyes. -Of course it would." Erik said, sighing almost affectionaly at Charles - he was always so polite. And Erik wasn't surprised one bit.

But then he turned grim and threw a glance towards the walls of the mansion. -I'm wondering what's happening. Out there." The bad feeling in the pit of his stomach appeared again. -It's been too quiet. And like I told you when we first arrived here, this is not a safe place to be. We need to make our move soon."

_I'm not leaving, Erik._

Erik blinked in surprise and his mouth fell mouth open. -What?"

Charles looked very calm. _I'm not leaving. This is my home._

Erik breathed air in through his nose, eyebrows furrowing. -But...but we can't stay here, Charles! It's just a matter of time before they find us."

His words seemed to have no effect on Charles. He looked at Erik as calmly as before. _I won't allow them to drive me away from my own home. I refuse to become hunted._

Erik spread his arms in the air, incredulous. -So...so you're just going to sit around here and wait until they come and kill us? Is that your plan?!" Erik's tone was raising rapidly now.

Charles sighed tiredly. He rubbed his forehead as if he had known to except this._ Erik, please. Maybe there is a solution where all parties might remain..._

-NO," Erik hissed, interrupting Charles with frustration. -Don't you even...They almost killed you! They tortured you for _months. _They still want to use you or kill you. How can you ever even think that there is a possibility of peaceful solution, Charles? You seriously can't be that naive, not after everything. A bloodbath _is_ inevitable."

_I do not believe that's true,_ Charles simply replied.

Erik was speechless for a moment, unable to comprehend that he was hearing this right. He was almost about to raise his voice into a shout, but then swallowed his anger by the last second. He just knew it was no use, because Charles wouldn't listen to his angry arguments. Erik took a few heavy, calming breaths. He looked at Charles almost desperately, trying to figure out what he could do or say to make Charles _see, _to make him realize the true seriousnesss of the situation.

Uncertainly, Erik stepped closer and lowered himself in front of Charles, almost kneeling, so they were at the same eye-level. He searched Charles' eyes and looked at him, pleadingly. He swallowed, his usually so controlled face painted with all of his emotions.

-You have to understand why we can't stay here." Erik said, pronouncing the every word carefully.

Charles sighed. He looked suddenly sad. _Erik...I'm not going to leave. But __**you**__ have no obligation to stay here._

Erik froze, and he felt hurt slashing his chest. -Do you want me gone?" he asked with a thick and low voice, fearing the answer.

_No. Of course not. But I'm not making you stay either._ _It's your choice, as it should be mine to stay._

Erik had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment for the sheer frustration. -You can't always let people do what they want, Charles. You can't let people make decisions so dangerous that it can cost them their lives."

Now Charles' eyes flashed with passion, and he looked intensely at Erik. _Yes you can. You can always let people have a choice. I did it with you, and with Raven. Even if I knew that Raven's choice wasn't a good one, I let her have it, because she needed to find her own place and learn from her own mistakes. Do things because that's what she wanted, no matter how misguided they were. _

They just stared each other. Then Charles turned to look almost gentle, like he was teaching a small child. Suddenly Charles lifted his hand and reached it towards Erik. Erik startled a little for the sudden movement, but didn't pull away as Charles' fingers brushed the side of his face, and the link buzzed in response to the physical touch. Charles held his hand there, and looked at Erik with almost pained passion.

_Don't you see, Erik? I could reach into your mind right now, and just turn and twist things here and there, persuade an idea or two, change your opinions and your views of the world. I could shape you into whatever I would like. I could make you agree with me, and you would never be able to tell the difference. I could make you do anything I wanted, and you couldn't stop me. It wouldn't even take me long. And I can't say I hadn't been tempted to do that once or twice. But that thought seems wrong and sick to you, doesn't it? That's because it IS wrong, Erik. _

Erik's mouth fell open, and then he closed it again. He knew he should have been frightened of Charles, right at that moment, when he literally held everything Erik was at his hands, but Erik found no reason even for a second to believe that he was in any real danger. Charles let his fingers brush Erik's skin one more time before he drew it back and dropped it on his lap. Finally, Charles opened his mouth and this time he spoke aloud: -But It's not my decision to make. I won't play god, and I won't tell you what to do. And I expect the same respect from you, Erik. Let me do as I wish."

Erik hissed through his teeth. -No. _No!_ Not if it means letting you get yourself killed. I can't allow that."

Silence settled between them, and they just looked at each other, years old desperation between them, wanting the other to agree but at the same time knowing they wouldn't. But this time, there wasn't any of the anger and bitterness between them, and it made it so much harder. Erik was at loss - he could of course see what Charles meant, but there wasn't a scenario where he could endanger Charles' life just because of his beliefs and ideologies. And now, their frustration was made of worry, and affection, more than hatred like all the long years before.

Erik hung his head, cursing quietly in German. -What am I going to do with you?" he asked from himself, and even if his tone was desperate, there was some warmth mixed into it.

And in that moment, Erik missed their meld more than ever. He felt such a rush of protectiveness towards Charles, even despite the frustration and irritation, because he couldn't hate how stubborn and hard-headed Charles was. It made Charles into who he was, and as much as Erik wished they could agree on everything, he would never want to change Charles either in any way. And it was in that moment when Erik truly _understood_ what Charles meant by his earlier words - Charles would never change Erik by altering his mind. No matter how easy it would be for Charles just to snap his fingers and make Erik obedient and solve all of the disagreements between them, Charles would never, ever do it.

And it was so hard, because Erik understood the reason, and he understood Charles and his past and his pain now, and Erik couldn't hide behind his contempt and anger anymore.

It was like he had accidentally driven himself so close to Charles that he couldn't get away and go back to the start, even if he wanted to. Erik just couldn't be Magneto when it came to Charles, and he knew that it was no use trying to deny that.

And like an answer to his thoughts, Charles sent a quiet, vibrating hum through through the link. Erik looked up, and Charles smiled at him sadly.

They both just_ knew_.

This was how they were doomed to be, it seemed.

Like fire and gunpowder - in both good and bad way.

They both breathed almost in synch, like the night before when they had melded.

-You are impossible, you know that," Erik said finally.

_I'm afraid you return the favour, Erik_, Charles replied softly.

Erik huffed out air, and it almost felt like a laugh. He hadn't laughed in what seemed like years. But now, it came naturally, and nothing in it was forced or faked.

Erik pushed himself to stand, his fingers brushing Charles' knee. He glanced towards the windows - the light was increasing slowly, even if the sky was full of grey clouds and it looked like it could start to rain soon again. Erik decided that they really needed to have a new hide-out.

And like the universe had a very bad sense of humour, it was the exact moment when Erik felt a twinge of something bleak from Charles' end.

-Erik," Charles called, and his tone was so different and alarmed that Erik instantly forgot about everything else and whirled around.

Charles was staring blankly towards the direction of the frontyard, but colour was slightly draining from his face. Erik could instantly see something was very wrong, and he instantly stood up straighter, instincts sharpening.

-What is it?" he asked.

Charles' brows furrowed and he lifted his hands against his temple as his trademark, concentrated gesture. He looked serious, and he narrowd his eyes as he focused on listening. Then a startled look filled his face and he turned to Erik, taking in a shuddering breath.

-Someone's here. And...there are a lot of them."

Erik turned towards the direction where Charles had been looking, and sent his power surging forward, trying to find everything metal outside the big fields around the mansion - cars, tanks, belts, guns - anything. Oddly, he couldn't find anything besides what the landscape had.

-Are you sure?" he asked Charles, confused.

Charles nodded hurriedly. -Yes. There's...there's some..." but then Charles gasped and his face twisted in pain and he instinctively shot his hands against the sides of his head.

Erik could feel a vague wave of pain from Charles' end, and he winced involuntarily. Erik rushed forward. -Charles?"

Charles blinked, blurrily, trying to get some air in. He concentrated hard on something, and Erik could feel strong mental walls suddenly emerging somewhere behind their link. Erik realized without saying that Charles was shielding them both from some kind of an attack, a telepathic one, and that his previous walls hadn't been enough to block it.

-They...they have a telepath." Charles whispered, and he sounded so strained that Erik instantly hated whoever was causing it. Erik reached his hands towards Charles, then dropped them again, because he wanted to help but there wasn't anything he could do.

Charles narrowed his eyes and panted like he couldn't breathe properly. -Erik...There are a lot of them...I can barely even..."

Erik just stared, eyes widening. If there were a lot of people coming towards the mansion, it also meant that none of them were wearing _any_ metal. Otherwise Erik would feel it already. Horrible dread started to spread to Erik's insides, adrenaline kicking into his bloodstream. If the Chimera was coming now, Erik wouldn't be able to do anything to them. He was as helpless as... as a simple human. He was powerless against plastic. Erik instantly sent his power around him and searched the room and the mansion - there was fortunately a lot of metal there, and he was quickly trying to think how he could fight with that. Everything from forks to pipes in the walls, paperclips, steel handles, tables...Erik thanked every greater power he knew that there was at least something he could work with.

Then he turned back to Charles, who was clearly struggling. Erik could distantly heard the odd static inside Charles' mind - whoever it was behind the attack, they didn't really even sound like voices, as if someone was trying to muffle them, to hide their existence. It was likely something the telepath the Chimera had was doing.

Erik hovered worriedly next to Charles - he knew they had to get to some kind of cover, but he was too afraid to leave just yet. Erik knew that if Charles lost this fight, they'd be as good as dead anyway. They would be drooling messes on the floor, and they wouldn't be able to fight back, if the other telepath got a hold on them. Erik didn't have his helmet, so he could become a puppet any second now. And something told Erik that if that happened, the telepath Chimera had wouldn't be as gentle as Charles.

For the first time in a while, Erik felt a string of real, paralyzing fear.

He cursed his own stupidity - they should have never stayed here. They should have gone out, and left. Escaped. Disappeared. Anything.

Suddenly Erik head an odd whirring sound, and he instanly turned to the direction of it, ripping the nearest metal pipes from the wall as makeshift spikes and floated them right next to his left hand. Erik stepped carefully between the sound and Charles.

But when Erik was just about to send the metal pieces flying, he could faintly make out a familiar voice. Then Erik saw Leap's shocked face appearing to the middle of the room. For one second, the teleporter stood on his place, in a dazed state, before he fell to the ground.

Erik stared for a moment in surprise, before he rushed forward with caution. Leap was coughing up blood on the floor. -Magneto," he growled, clearly in pain. Erik's eyes slided down his body, and Erik saw a huge knife sticking out of the teleporter's middle. There was blood rapidly spreading everywhere, and Erik knew that the wound could be fatal if not treated quickly.

-What happened?" Erik barked out demandingly.

Leap's eyes were the size of saucers, and he spat more blood. -T-Th...They have Emma," he whispered brokenly.

Erik's heart jumped in surprise and dread. They had caught Frost? She might not have been as powerful as Charles, but she was still a dangerous telepath if it came ot it. If the Chimera truly had her, it couldn't mean anything good - they could use her as horrible weapon. Erik crouched next to Leap.

-How? What happened?"

Leap was very quickly losing all of his colour from his face and skin. His words came out as bloody gasps. -D-don't know. I barely escaped. T-they...have the blue shapeshifter too. M-most of our mutants, I think. They are all...working for th-them now."

Erik didn't even dare to breathe. They had Raven? And Frost? And some other members of his Brotherhood? Erik knew that they would have never had been able to persuade any of them into their ranks willingly, so they must have been captured like Charles had. The Chimera was shameless, and it shouldn't surprise Erik. But the true hopelessness was starting to spread out into his mind, as he gained more details. Erik knew that they could never stand against the Chimera with only a handful of people. No matter how powerful they might be.

Erik looked sharply at Leap.

-You need to teleport me and Charles away right now." he said demandingly, even his voice was shaking just a little. He glanced at the knife sticking out of the telepath. -And we will take you to a hospital, too."

One scared tear escaped from the corner of Leap's eye. -I c-can't, Magneto...I can't...Just...managed to come here. I'm trying even r-right now...Not working..."

Erik's eyes widened as Leap's words sunk in.

Erik took a sharp grip from his arm. -You need to do it! We will all die if you don't!" he yelled at the miserably injured teleporter.

Leap just shook his head in panic. -I can't, I c-can't, I can't!" he stuttered out through the pain, and Erik could see he was telling the truth.

He couldn't teleport. He just _couldn't_.

They were stuck here.

And they had no way of getting out. So they were trapped. Erik turned around and saw Charles still trying to battle the attack that was inflicted on them both. But Erik could only barely feel the needles striking through Charles' telepathy. Charles was fighting back hard and at the same time, protecting Erik from the attack.

But Erik still had no guarantee Charles would win. Charles was after all still recovering, and he was not in the condition to have an attack of his newly built shields.

Erik swallowed anxiously, and he noticed that there was a sudden lump in his throat.

How could have things spiraled into chaos so quickly?

-How many are there?" Erik barked at Leap, but he didn't seem like he had heard. Erik knelt down and shook him, and the teleporter let out a yelp of pain. Erik was too shaken to care any damage he might have been inflicting to him right now. -Leap! How many of them are out there?"

Leap drew ragged breaths. -Outside? J-just...just the blue girl right now. B-but more...more coming..."

Erik almost jumped back to stand. He turned towards Charles, thinking fast. -We need to get out of here. If Raven is here, and she is being controlled somehow, she's dangerous." he spoke, more to himself than anything else. Erik knew what Raven was capable of - he had taught her himself. She was fast, and clever, and could be driven to kill.

-We need to break out the control they have over her. And with others too." Erik said, throwing a look on Charles.

Charles' eyes flickered at him distractedly, clearly hearing some of his words but not being able to really listen to them. Erik quickly went to his side. Erik stood there, breathing hard, thoughts swirling, his power itching to be used.

Then with a final mental push, Charles managed to shut the attacker out, and he almost sagged in relief. He leaned into his hand for a moment. Erik could feel the attack fading through their link, for his own relief, and Charles' shields losing the sensation of strain. It seemed that Charles had won this round, for the time being.

-Charles?" Erik asked, worry slipping to his throne.

Charles just took a few deep breaths. He looked tired already, but then just made a vague gesture with his hand, like it didn't matter how he was feeling. Erik raised his eyebrow, and was about to ask, but he didn't get the chance.

-Raven?" Charles asked, out of breath, looking up to Erik like he wasn't sure if he had heard right.

Erik nodded. -The Chimera has her. They are controlling her somehow. I think they sent her to kill us, if she really is outside right now." Erik threw a predatory glance towards the outer walls. -She needs to be stopped."

Fear flashed in Charles' eyes, and he grabbed Erik's wrist with almost painful strength. -Erik. No! Don't harm her. Whatever you do, Erik, do _not_ harm her. She would never hurt me or you on purpose. She has no choice in this, I'm absolutely sure of it. They caught her probably exactly like they caught me and Hank. And if the Chimera are controlling her mind somehow, I can probably save her from that. I just need to..."

Erik interrupted him carelessly. -No. It's too dangerous - I'm not letting her anywhere near you." Erik hissed passionately. He glanced around the room quickly just to make sure he couldn't see any traces of blue anywhere.

Charles' grip tightened. The memories from the whole Trask incident arose and Charles looked something between angry and panicked. -No, Erik! Don't you dare! I will never forgive you if you harm her! You almost killed her in Paris. She has to survive from this."

Erik had been almost ready to be careless about Charles' pleas, but Charles hit too close to home when he said that he'd never forgive Erik for this if he truly killed Raven. And as much as Erik wanted to be indifferent about it, something deep inside him cowered for hurting Charles so deeply again. He had almost been forgiven once, but if he killed Raven, Erik knew he would lose Charles forever.

Erik looked at Charles with a cold mask on his face, but inside, he was torn.

Charles looked at him with wide eyes, so blue and so demanding. -Damnit, Erik!" he said and smacked Erik on his arm with his free hand. Of course it didn't hurt - it just highlighted how serious Charles was. Erik hadn't seen him so desperate in a long while.

-You have to promise me, Erik. Give me your word you won't harm her!" Charles breathed out, his fingers tight against Erik's quick pulse.

Erik hesitated, heart taking pace. His own instincts told him to go after Raven and kill her if it came to it, because right now she was a real threat. Erik might have had a few good moments with her in the past, but it didn't mean he wouldn't snap her neck without remorse if she threatened something important to him. Erik knew that Charles would have been devastated to know how easily he thought through it. But something deep and demanding in Erik forced him to listen to Charles, because he was somewhat terrified to disappoint him. Charles had shown some signs of accepting Erik after they had freed him from the prison during the whole Trask thing, but that one bullet meant for Raven in Paris had destroyed everything for a long while.

And now, Erik couldn't stand going through it again.

Charles' eyes glistened as he looked up to Erik. -Erik, I'm begging you."

Erik squeezed his eyes shut for a moment - he had been about to say no up until this point. But now, he found himself unable to. How could he, when Charles asked it from him like this?

-Alright," Erik whispered. He snapped his eyes open, almost angry at himself.

-Erik?"

-I said _alright_ - I'm giving you my word that I won't kill her. But I can't promise anything about harming her," Erik said tightly, frustrated.

A relief so authentic and deep spread to Charles' face that it almost made Erik feel better about his decision. Charles radiated greatfulness through their link, but Erik threw a dark look on him. -But I'm doing this only for you, not her."

_Thank you, _Charles said, brushing his thumb across the veins on Erik's wrist and then let gently go. Erik couldn't stop himself shivering a little for the touch.

Then he drew a sharp breath and tried to find his determination from somewhere. Erik tried to morph into Magneto, because through those eyes, it was always easier to fight. He eyed the stairways and doors in the mansion, then at Charles. -We need to get out of this room, we're too exposed." Then Erik glanced at Charles' chair. -Upstairs would be better. I can carry you."

Charles raised an eyebrow. _And leave me completely immobile after that?_

Erik thought about it, and couldn't figure out any quick and effective way to do it. -Alright. Then we'll stay downstairs." he said quietly, once again glancing around suspiciously. At that moment, he hated it more than ever that Charles couldn't walk, because it made things so much more complicated. Erik bit his lip. -Raven will be here first, but it's only a matter of time before the others come. Is there any way we could escape before that?"

Charles thought about it for a while, then shook his head. _I don't think so. There are of course a lot of cars, two helicopters and one private jet, but Hank was the only one who knew how to fly those, and I don't think cars are fast enough."_

At any other situation, Erik would have been surprised about the sheer amount of expensive vehicles Charles had lying around, but right now he didn't have the time to ponder over it.

-Alright. Alright," Erik said quickly and cleared his voice, heart beating fast. -Whatever we do, we need to get somewhere else before that." he said and gestured to the rooms on their left. Charles turned himself towards the corridor until he noticed Leap. Empathy and shock spread to his face. He probably hadn't had time to pay attention to the young teleporter appearing to the big living room while the telepathic attack.

-We need to help him," Charles said demandingly.

Erik just shook his head furiously. -There's no time. We need to get out of here now."

_We are NOT leaving him to die, Erik._

Erik threw a sharp, frustrated look on Charles. -He's as good as dead, Charles. And the Chimera won't harm him anymore, it's waste of bullets. He'll die without a hospital soon anyway."

Charles had the nerve to come to a complete halt, cross his arms and throw Erik a stubborn look, indicating he wasn't going to move anywhere until they helped Leap.

Erik rolled his eyes and threw his arms into the air. -Oh, _come on,_ Charles!"

Charles looked more demanding than Erik had seen him in a long, long while. _Pick him up, Erik, or I will make you._

Erik's eyebrows shut up. Charles rarely ever sounded like that, and he never threatened to take control unless he really meant it - even if Erik wasn't that surprised that Charles wanted to save Leap. Stupid, altruist Charles. -We are losing precious time!" Erik said desperately, once again glancing at the room around him.

_Erik,_ Charles sent._ I'm serious._

Of course Erik _knew_ he was serious. Of course he knew Charles wouldn't let an innocent mutant, a friend of sort, be left behind. In the end, Erik just rushed towards Leap and grabbed him - not too gently - and hoisted the young teleporter up with pained moans accompanying the process. Then Erik returned, and Charles started to move again. Erik just rolled his eyes - he was getting Leap's blood all over himself. Not that Erik thought that Leap deserved any of this - he_ was_ very useful and quite bearable young mutant, but in a situation like this, he wasn't Erik's priority.

When they finally reached one of the rooms that had somewhat safely thick walls, Erik went to the nearest bed and laid Leap down there, and the young teleporter cried out in pain. Erik knew that they shouldn't remove the knife, because it was probably the only thing still keeping most of the blood in and Leap alive.

Charles wheeleed next to the bed, taking a compassionate grip on Leap's shoulder. Erik glanced at him - Charles looked so caring, so gentle, when he reached for a pillow an propped it below Leap's head. Erik could never understand how someone could have so much patience and honest good will for others. But Erik didn't have to think more about it, since his foot slipped just a little. At first he thought it was blood, but when Erik took a better look, he could see traces of muddy rainwater on the floor.

Erik turned around on his heels, glaring the room. -Someone was here. Raven was here," Erik growled, senses suddenly heightened. Charles looked up, and then lifted fingers on his forehead, concentrating hard.

_It's...it's strange. The telepath attacking me just withdrew a moment ago - I think it was Emma Frost but I can't be sure - and I can still sense the Chimera groups approaching the house. But their thoughts don't sound like the one normal people have; they sound...muffled? Distant? Almost mechanic. I can't explain it. There's something wrong with their minds, they don't sound...alive. It might be that they are even more strongly controlled than I thought earlier. _

Charled looked up to Erik. Slowly, shocked sadness spread to his face. He seemed to be uncertain whether or not to say the next words._ And Erik...they are almost all mutants._

Erik looked down at him, and rage started to bubble somewhere deep inside of him. The Chimera had only _mutants_ fighting for them? Disbelief and disgust spread to Erik's face. -They...the Chimera have kidnapped mutants and turned them into their soldiers?"

Charles nodded, looking grim.

So they had more people than just Raven or Frost. They had a small _army_. The Chimera had stopped killing mutants, because they wanted to use them as suicide bombs before that. Erik felt sick. -They are mindcontrolling them and making us turn against one another. Those bastards!" he hissed.

Of course they have done the same before, but not in this scale. Not in such a twisted, devastating way.

Leap moaned in pain, and Charles' attention was drawn to him, as he tried to put something against his wound and apply pressure.

Erik breathed hard through his nostrils. He wanted to kill every single person in the Chimera. He didn't care how long it took, or what he had to do, but he would do it. He would slaughter the whole lot of them. They would have to witness his revenge.

It spoke volumes of the Chimera's cruelty that they had sent Raven to assasinate them.

Erik didnt' know how or why they had captured her, or how they were even controlling her, but Erik did know that she shouldn't be underestimated. Erik opened his palm and drew a metal pipe out of the wall. The wall cracked and broke effortlessly, and a loud noise filled the room for a moment. But then the piece of pipe flew to Erik's hand, and he squeezed it with satisfaction. He felt much better having some kind of a weapon with him.

He tried to guess what the Chimera's plan was. Why had they attacked Charles telepathically and then just gave up? It didn't make any sense. Surely they would attack soon again? Or had Charles strained the other attacking telepath - Frost, if it really was her? It didn't seem likely.

All Erik knew was that Charles would be vulnerable if he got telepathically attacked again, because he would have to concentrate on the attacker and not his surroundings. And Leap was no use right now. Erik couldn't leave them alone for a second, because he was the only one who could offer any match in a physical fight.

-Charles, can you break the control around Raven's mind?" Erik asked, calculating.

Charles was quiet for a while. _I'm not sure. I can barely even sense her. Without knowing she's here already, I wouldn't be able to spot her at all. She's somewhere in the house, but her mind is scrambled, like a radio with interference. It doesn't feel like hers. I can...I can only hear the echo of her mind, not actually go inside her head. It's like something is blocking it._

Erik straightened his shoulders. -You mean something like my old helmet?"

He didn't like mentioning it, but couldn't avoid it either.

_Yes, something similar. I don't know whether the blocking around her mind has been done by a telepath or is it something else_ _entirely._

Erik tried to think coolly and sharply. They didn't have that much options. They could not escape the house before Raven was dealth with. But if they waited, the other mindcontrolled mutants could reach the house. They would be as good as dead outside in the open, and hiding into a cellar, attic or roof would be just plain stupid.

They had no other choice but to fight. Erik had been counting on Leap and teleporting far too much.

Erik swallowed. -They know you are a powerful telepath, Charles. They didn't take any risks with that, so they must have something that keeps it all together. Raven or other mutants wouldn't do any of this without being manipulated," Erik said, thinking aloud.

He considered leaving Leap here and just taking Charles with him, and then running like no tomorrow. But without Charles being unable to run on his own, or walk, or even stand without help would slow them down a lot and Erik knew that it could prove very risky.

It seemed that whatever he tried to come up with, he always hit a wall.

Erik felt his voice straining with anger and desperation.

-What about Cerebro? Or taking over the minds of the actual Chimera bosses - the ones who are organizing this attack and calling the shots?"

Charles just shook his head._ I think their own telepath - the one who was back in the labs with me - is protecting the most inner circle. And they are too clever to come out here into the open._

Erik felt an urge to punch a wall - nothing seemed to work. He had to force himself stay quiet and not blame Charles for this - but he still knew that they could have been miles away from the mansion had they left earlier.

_Erik, sorry for interrupting you, but - the Chimera would have found us sooner or later. It was only a matter of time._

Erik glared at Charles. -But at a hide-out, we could have gathered our forces and planned our strike first." he said, without being able to hide his bitterness.

Charles shook his head. _No, that would have never happened. If they have Raven, and Emma Frost, they must have other mutants too. Like Leap said, members of your Brotherhood are out there too, Erik._

Erik started to realize how right Charles was. He felt a flash of guilt from Charles' end.

_If you want to be angry, Erik, be angry with me. I was the one who gave Chimera your faces and names, back in the labs. That's the reason they managed to hunt them down._

-Shut up, Charles. We've been over this. It wasn't your fault." Erik snapped. He stared out of the door, trying to see or hear anything out of ordinary.

Leap had gone quieter, and Erik clinically noted that the young teleporter might die soon. Another casualty in the war, he thought to himself quietly. Charles' disagreement spiked their link but Erik didn't have time to mourn one dying mutant. They were in danger to lose their own lives, after all.

_Erik, I think Raven is trying to sneak in to this room,_ Charles suddenly said.

-Is she close?" Erik said, quietly, in case she was anywhere in a hearing distance.

Charles had a concentrated look on his face. _Upstairs...I think. She's waiting for something._

Erik smiled darkly, satisfied. -For the others. Of course, she doesn't dare to come alone."

A few quick seconds passed, and Erik's smile fades as he braced himself. The air felt heavy to breathe.

Charles hesitated before he spoke. _Erik, maybe your best chance might be to go and find her. Knock her out if you need to, but just get her out of the way so we can leave. We have to try and escape, at least. That way we might have a chance of surviving - and avoiding a bloodbath. _

Erik was ready to disagree immediately, because he didn't like the idea of leaving Charles alone, not even for a moment. But then again, he also knew that waiting for the small army of other mutants arriving here wasn't a good option either. They were losing precious seconds.

-I'm not leaving you behind," Erik stated with calmness he didn't really feel.

_You know it's the best chance we have._

-Maybe, but I'm not taking the risk."

_I'm sorry, Erik, but I think the risks are somewhat high with everything right now._ _Don't let my presence to impair your normal judgement in these situations._

Erik looked at Charles, and felt doubt crawling to his mind. No matter how he tried to turn the situation in his head, everything Charles said made sense. And they really didn't have too much time to think too much about it. As much as Erik hated it, he couldn't help but to agree with him. He knew that the other mutants would soon be here, and then all hell would break loose. Erik's heart was beating quickly, and his veins were pumping adrenaline. He wanted to get out of here so badly, and he wanted them both to do it safely.

During some long, heavy seconds, Erik realized that if he went after Raven now, he could still get some kind of upper hand. And it _was_ their best chance.

-Alright," Erik said, voice tight. -I'll...I'll try to find her. But if anything happens, I mean _anything_, you call me back here, Charles. It's your turn to give me your word." he said demandingly.

Charles nodded.

Erik glanced at the door, then at Charles.

He needed to go.

But somehow, his feet were glued to the floor.

Erik swallowed thickly, trying to ignore his increasing worry, and the clouds of life-threatening danger looming over them. But he had no time; he had to go. Then they could leave, and they would have a chance to escape.

Erik stepped instinctively closer to Charles, fingers twitching and hands almost reaching to him.

In that very short moment, Erik realized how much he really cared about Charles. It was an odd, fleeting realization that hit him like a tide. His whole body was like on fire, ready to fight, but he wasn't driven by hatred and anger, like all those years before. He had always felt strong because he had been somewhat emotionless, and he had basked in his own cruelty. But now, he was driven by the urge to protect and preserve, and Erik realized that there wasn't much that he wouldn't do for Charles. He had, after all, melded with him, and he could still remember echoes of Charles' brilliant mind and their connection from last night. Erik still ached for that contact, and he ached for the way he felt around Charles. Charles made him feel more alive - proud, important and powerful in all the right ways, not just because of his ability to kill and lie. Charles was the most extraordinary person Erik had ever met, and in those short seconds their eyes locked, Erik felt so priviledged to know him.

And Erik felt so unlike himself thinking that way. Yet at the same time, he also felt more honest that he had been in years, and didn't know what to think of it. Even if there was still a lot of complex and compromised things between them - there was no denying that. Charles could drive Erik to the walls, but Erik didn't really expect anything less.

At any other time, it would have felt odd, but now, Erik reached towards Charles with his hand, not even sure why. Charles flickered his eyes at his hand, and slowly reached towards it, too, hesitantly at first. As if he just sensed that Erik needed this. For a very short moment, they curled their fingers around each other's wrists, and squeezed both tightly and gently. It wasn't a handshake, and it wasn't like they were holding hands. It was reaching for the skin on their wrists; to feel the other's pulse, the other's veins and bloodstream, of their link buzzing to life one more time like a vivid living painting before Erik would go.

Threat of death was hanging above them, but so was a promise of some other kind.

A lot more sensations were shared in those few seconds than they could have ever done with words.

_Be careful, Erik,_ Charles said.

_You're the one that should be careful. If anything comes up, call me immediately, _Erik said, and then their contact broke.

Erik backed towards the door, glancing at it warily already. -I'll be right back," he said. Before he turned, he caught one final glimpse of Charles and the way his blue eyes looked like across the empty space, and the image seemed to have some odd sense of finality, and it burnt on Erik's retinas. It was probably the sense of danger causing it, Erik thought to himself. But then Erik turned out, went out the door, and broke out to a run.


	20. Chapter 20

As soon as Erik stepped to the corridor, he rushed towards the stairway, and ripped everything that was made of metal anywhere near in the mansion and floated it after himself. He didn't even bother being quiet or discreet.

-Mystique!" Erik shouted, because it was no use to play games. He slowed down a little and then walked up the stairs, scanning the dim space around him. -I know you're not choosing to do this. But if you want a fight, I'll give you a fight."

His steps echoed from the walls. -Come on, don't let me wait."

There was no answer. Erik took in his surroundings with care and also spent a moment listening to the link - but nothing had changed with Charles either.

Erik's every sense was heightened to their peak, and his heart was beating fast, spreading adrenaline eveywhere.

Erik and his small army of metal pieces reached the end of the stairs and Erik looked around warily, placing his feet sternly against the wooden floor. He scanned the shadows and furniture. His whole body was anticipating a fight, and he was itching to get into action.

Erik took a few more careful steps forward. He was painfully aware of the fact that Raven knew this mansion better than he did - he had played in there with Charles when they had been children. Erik had seen that from Charles' memories, too. So she could be anywhere, and could look like anyone - or probably like anything, if she wanted to camouflage herself in the scenery. But Erik had one advantage at his side - he knew for certain that if Raven wanted to go downstairs, she had to use the stairs, because the drop was too long to jump down. And Erik assumed that it was where she was headed.

So Erik waited there. The mansion seemed suddenly uninviting and suffocating place to be, like it could be haunted.

Seconds crawled.

Erik's breaths came out fast and superficial.

He sent his power forward a little, trying to sense and find any indications of a gun anywhere. Erik couldn't, for his irritation, trace anything, but then again, Erik knew the Chimera used plastic ones on purpose. Like as a personal nod to the great Magneto who had left their headquarters smashed like a house of cards and had almost destroyed them once before.

They weren't taking any chances. Erik would have felt honoured if the situation wasn't so dangerous, and he wasn't this outnumbered.

And sadly, Erik didn't feel that much like Magneto at all. He didn't have his Brotherhood backing him up, and he was driven into a corner. And he couldn't be careless and emotionless and fight mechanically like he used to, because he had someone he was actually trying to protect aside from himself. Being selfish was easy. Being carelessly cruel came out like an instinct. But trying to protect someone besides himself was something Erik hadn't done in years. Of course he defended his own people if they needed it, but he wouldn't think twice of letting them die if the situation called for it.

But even now when Erik didn't feel as calm and strong as he thought Magneto should, there still lied a wolf in him, and he was ready to rip throats open if it came to it. He dared anyone to try and take him out.

The long seconds ticking away seemed to take forever.

_Tick tock, tick tock._

Erik looked around, frustrated, hands shaking just a little.

-Raven, I know you don't want to really kill me or Charles. The Chimera is only making you to do it." Erik shouted, because he couldn't stand the silence. He got no answer.

Maybe he could lure her out. -It's like Paris all over again, isn't it?" Erik said, dark amusement slipping to his tone. -But now you're trying to assasinate your own brother, and not Trask."

Erik clenched his teeth. -And that's not going to happen. You will never succeed. No matter what thoughts they have put into your head."

The complete silence was becoming ominous, and Erik felt increasingly nervous.

-Don't be stupid, Mystique! If you want to get to Charles, you have to go through me first. Don't postpone the inevitable."

Erik's heart banged against his ribcage, the metal around him humming like in a silent war song.

Then suddenly, he heard one soft clanging sound from behind him, and Erik swirled around like thunder, but only to get his knees kicked hard before he could react quickly enough. Then it all spiraled into violence.

Erik yelped and lost his balance, falling to the floor, and saw a flash of blue whirling above himself. Erik bit his lip, and drew everything metallic close to him with a quick yank. Just in the last second, he remembered his promise to Charles, so he just chose one of the more flat pieces of pipe and threw it at Raven's direction. Erik could, for his own surprise, see a glimpse of an odd-looking helmet on top of her head.

For his horror, Erik quickly realized that it looked like a vague replica of his own helmet that he had gotten from Shaw.

It flashed in Erik's memory now - he had thrown his own helmet away right after he had saved Charles from the labs. It had been right outside the Chimera headquarters, and Erik could remember vividly how he had thrown the helmet against the concrete, and it had been left behind in the hurried chaos.

He had left his helmet to Chimera.

He had _left it for them, _like in a silver platter, to poke and prod, to use it and evolve it into replicas.

Erik cursed himself hotly, because he wasn't stupid: it didn't take much effort to realize that Chimera had somehow managed to make weaponized replicas of Shaw's helmet. Replicas that were used to control innocent mutants to go against each other. Replicas that brainwashed people.

And one of them was on Raven's head.

But Erik had no time to continue that train of thought, since Raven let out a muffled cry of pain after the pipe struck her, and she jumped further away. Her acrobatics were as impressive as always, but Erik couldn't really appreciate them at this very moment. Raven moved away from the pipe, and Erik threw all kinds of other objects at her. Once again, she ducked all of them effectively, and her yellow eyes flashed in the whirl of a movement.

She dealt a strong kick to Erik's shoulder, and had it been a bit more stronger, she might have actually dislocated the whole arm. Erik bit his lip as Raven tried to get a strangling grip on him, but Erik reached for one of the pipes in the air, grabbed it with a steely fist, and then levitated the pipe towards the ceiling, so he rose to the air too after it. Raven lost her grip and dropped to the ground, only to swirl around and grab a white gun from somewhere and point it at Erik. Erik immediately let go of the pipe and let himself fall on top of her - just in time, since the gun fired but the bullet missed greatly, hitting a far wall.

_Erik?,_ came Charles' startled question.

Erik just sent out a vague sense of agreement, not having time to do anything more than to let Charles know he was still alive. Erik landed heavily on Raven and her head collided with the floor with a satisfying crunch. Unfortunately, the helmet took most of the impact, so it didn't knock her out. But Erik had the upper hand now, and he immediately used it. He once again reached for the pipe, pushed it down and locked Raven against the floor with it, strangling her on the process.

Raven gasped for air, and tried to squirm under Erik, but the pipe's magnetism pushed her so strongly that the pain made her go still. Erik had one of his knees digging into her chest, adding pressure as much as he could.

Erik reached for another piece of pipe, and it flew to his hands. He had no regrets, no hesitations - he was going to knock her out quickly, surgically. Erik took some speed with his arm, and was ready to bring the pipe down. But then suddenly, Raven shapeshifted - and took Erik completely off-guard, when she changed herself to look exactly like Charles. For one fatal second, Erik froze completely, having Charles' eyes staring at him from the ground with a hurt look - but before Erik could ignore the illusion and Raven's succesful mindgame and bring down the hit meant to her head, Raven managed to lift her leg and kick him hard in the kidneys and Erik let out a cry, crashing to the floor. Raven shifted back to her own blue, and threw another kick to Erik's ribs.

Erik yelled out, feeling one or two of his ribs cracking hard, and for one moment the pain was so strong that he couldn't move at all. He laid there, stunned, throwing blurrily metal at her.

But Raven ducked everything, and she let out a loud whistle - like making some sort of sign. Erik blinked his eyes and looked up as all of a sudden a group of people in the unmistakable Chimera uniforms and similar helmets like the one Raven had teleported right next to her. Raven pointed Erik to them with her finger, and he could only yell out in pain and frustration. Erik drew all the metal he still could find towards himself - pipes out of the walls, painting frames, screws, nails - everything there was, and let it rain on the group. They tried to duck and had to spread out, but Erik didn't bother to turn and look.

Instead, he forced himself back on his feet, and dove after the white gun lying on the floor. However, Raven stepped on it quickly, and Erik called one more piece of a pipe and aimed it at her leg. Raven didn't have time to remove her leg, so this time, he didn't miss. Erik thrusted the pipe forward, and it went through Raven's ankle, and Erik felt a satisfying sound of flesh tearing and nerves damaging. Erik twisted the pipe, and waited to hear Raven's anguished scream, but it never came. Instead, she just wobbled on her legs, as if she would fall, but her face still remained oddly emotionless, like she was a brainless machine, only trained to kill. Like she couldn't really feel the pain, or didn't care.

Erik was now certain, cold dread filling his insides, that the Chimera were controlling the mutants like Raven through the helmets. There was no other explanation to her complete obedience and robotic-like fighting. It was like they had no sense of self-preservation. Erik didn't need to know more to plan his next move - he instantly tried to reach out for her helmet with his power and get it out of Raven's head, but of course the Chimera had been clever enough to make the helmet completely out of different materials than metal. Erik's powers couldn't cause even the slightest breeze or movement to the helmet. Erik threw an angry look at Raven, drawing the pipe out of her leg, and hit her hard on the stomach, hoping she would fall and he could tear the helmet away with his hands. But Erik had miscalculated the speed of the new group behind them, and suddenly he felt something hard collide to the back of his own head.

Stars exploded in his eyes, and sickening pain filled his nerve endings.

Erik fell bonelessly to the floor, fighting not to black out, as he felt blood mixing to his hair and the metal he was controlling starting to fall to the ground.

Raven pulled herself up and took support from the stairway railing, and reached for a gun. Erik realized that if she wanted to kill him now, she probably could. It would only take seconds from her to raise the gun and pull the trigger. -Mystique. Raven, don't. You will regret it," Erik yelled hoarsely as a last resort, but for his surprise, Raven didn't even raise the gun towards him. As if she had no intention to kill him in the first place. Like he had just gotten to her way, and now she had removed him from there. Raven just nodded to the others, pointing at Erik and turned towards the stairs.

It was then when Erik panicked - she was going after Charles.

Like getting some unknown power from that realization, Erik screamed out in rage, and somehow stumbled back to sit. Erik_ would_ break her neck if she tried to hurt Charles, to hell with any promises. If it came down to choose between Raven and Charles, there was no choice to make. Even if Erik had no doubt about it - Raven wasn't acting like herself, she was completely under someone's control. She didn't probably even know she was. Erik was quite sure she hadn't even recognized who she had been fighting with.

-Raven!" Erik yelled out, even if he knew that it was no use.

Erik concentrated all of his powers to the pieces of metal around him, angrily lifting them to air and then threw everything as hard as he could, even if he felt sick and disoriented for the strain and effort. But every piece of metal Erik guided towards her missed the most crucial body parts, and only few hit her retreating back. She gasped automatically, but it only slowed her down. Even with her ruined ankle, she kept going. It was as if she had no sense self-preservation or pain. As if she didn't care how her ankle was dragging after her, how it could be ruined forever if she kept going. How it let out a sickening crunch every time she put weight on it.

She didn't stop. She was holding the white gun on her left hand, and she kept walking.

Erik tried to regroup the metal from the stairway and repeat his earlier, desperate attack, but then Erik also realized that he had been so determined to stop Raven that he hadn't paid any attention to the group behind him, and like an ironic answer to his thoughts, he felt several hands grabbing him. Erik let out a muffled yell, squirmed and threw kicks and punches, but there were too many people seizing him, and his reflexes were sluggish and slow because of the hit he had received to his head. His neck was sticky with fresh blood pouring down on it.

_Erik?_, Charles' scared voice came through. _Erik, what's wrong?_

Erik almost wanted to cry out in relief for hearing Charles' voice, even if the situation was so dire_. Ch-charles..._, he only managed to mumble.

_You're hurt_, Charles replied in a worried tone, and his sudden protectiveness of Erik felt like a healing power inside Erik's head._ I'm coming there._

_NO. NO!,_ Erik replied as he still fought back as hard as he could. His thoughts were panicked and frantic, and way too loud. _Raven...She's coming. You have to escape. She will kill you, Charles. Go! GO!_

Charles' own thoughts were so mixed and hurried that Erik couldn't make them out, and he had too much distraction because his current struggle to free himself. Erik couldn't throw metal at the people holding him down without risking to hurt himself in the process, so he just lifted the pieces he could and floated them near himself, ready to strike at any moment. Erik tried to bite, to punch, kick - anything - to get free. But he was badly outnumbered, and the mutants holding him were strong and uninjured. Their emotionless, cold faces above him held no sympathy or emotion when one of them suddenly drew a helmet from somewhere and lifted into the air.

It was exactly the same as the one Raven had had.

Erik's struggle died down for a moment when the shock for the realization set in, as he understood what these people were trying to do - to put a helmet on him, too. To make him obey and become a brainless soldier like they were. To serve Chimera. To lose himself.

A cold, calculated move to make him a slave.

Erik knew that no begging or pleading would help him right now, and he_ never_ begged anyway, so he tried to attack them with the remaining metal - but to no avail. One of his attackers clearly had a telekinetic mutation, so she just simply blocked everything Erik was trying to use against them with the flick of her wrist and sent it flying away harmlessly.

Out of pure frustration and horror, Erik screamed out, wanting so desperately to break free, but couldn't.

He hadn't felt so powerless in a very long time.

Somewhere further away, through the link, Erik could faintly feel Charles' mind recognizing Raven. She had reached the room he was in. Charles hadn't escaped - he hadn't left Leap behind. Erik's heart thundered in his own ears as he truly had to understand how bad the situation was - of how it was spiraling into a catastrophy. Erik could feel Charles' emotional pain bleeding through the link, and how he still had so much love for Raven, even after everything. In the very quick seconds, Erik could only mutely hear what Charles was saying to Raven.

_Raven, please. I know you're not yourself. Just...wait a minute. Put the gun down. We can..._

Erik saw a vague mental flash of Raven taking some speed and aiming a kick towards Charles, and then Erik felt Charles' end of the link explode with pain, and Erik could feel Charles' nerve endings registering the damage she had done, firing pain everywhere. She had kicked him with all of her strength. Charles was clearly trying to reach out to her, to find Raven's mind from somewhere, but Raven was a complete machine, locked inside her helmet. Erik could sense Charles falling to the ground, chair lost and uselessly thrown somewhere by Raven, and it made Erik even more horrified. He tasted bile on his mouth. But Charles' mouth was filled with blood; Erik could taste it through their link.

Charles was now trapped on the floor, unable to run or even stand up. Raven had no sense of mercy. And even when she had him trapped to the floor, she attacked him again.

Erik didn't even pay that much attention to the Chimera people holding him down, because he couldn't escape, no matter how hard he tried. He could only squirm and throw metal, and kick around, but their grip held. And even if Erik knew that he should be fighting for himself, he couldn't stop listening to the link.

Erik felt helplessly as Raven punched Charles on the side of his face, and Charles barely fought back. Charles was trying to reach her helmet instead, clearly guessing that was the root of the problem, that she was controlled through it. But from the floor, it was nearly impossible for Charles to reach her, and Erik could feel the way Charles couldn't use his legs to do anything. If he had been able to stand up, then maybe. But not like this. He had no chance to get his hands around the helmet.

Erik felt the sudden crippling fear taking over him - that one bullet in Cuba might have sealed Charles' fate, after all.

But then the idea was so horrible that Erik refused to register it, he just refused, and his whole body screamed for Charles, poignant and afraid.

The Chimera people over him were apparently turning on the power source of the helmet that was meant for Erik, and Erik still thrashed around even if his muscles were already burning from the strain.

Through the link, Erik could distantly feel how Raven grabbed Charles and lifted him to a half-sitting position, pressing him against the wall hard. Raven reached the gun behind her, and clicked the safety off. Charles tried to reach her helmet as one last desperate effort, but she flicked his hands away violently.

_Raven, please listen. You don't want to do this. You can still come home. None of this is what you actually want - it's me, Charles. Your brother, remember? This is where we grew up, and I know you would never hurt me in your right mind. Everything will be alright, I promise._

Erik wished nothing more than that Charles could reach her, that his spoken words could make her hesitate. Buy time. Even for just a moment. Anything would do.

But then the next sensation bleeding through Charles' end of the link sealed Erik's quick spiral into chaos - he could feel the way Raven pressed the gun against Charles' head, the barrel right above his left ear.

Erik's heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't even breathe. He gave every bit of strength he still had to fight back, and his mind screamed _NONONONOCHARLESNO,_ but he couldn't get free.

But then the Chimera mutants forced the helmet on Erik's head, and Erik screamed from the top of his lungs, but there was nothing he could do.

As the helmet slid deeper to his head, Erik felt suddenly the link between him and Charles starting to stretch and quiver. Erik could only stare in shock to the ceiling as the link became strained inside his own head, and it became so far streched, ghost ache filling Erik's mind. But the power of the helmet was unstoppable. Erik tried to hold back to the link with all of his remaining power - not even bothering to fight back to the mutants with metal because it was no use - and clung to the telepathic mental bonds like lifelines. Erik searched each and every one of them, bit back with nails and teeth, concentrated every single brain cell he had to hold on, refusing to let go of Charles. The metal Erik had put around the bonds screeched and bended, streching and weakening. Erik hung on, he screamed, he squirmed, but the helmet went deeper into his head and Erik could feel only panicked thought from Charles' end, _Eri-_

then,

**SNAP.**

**SNAP.**

**SNAP.**

every tendril and tight knot of their link broke in half, was cut and torn mercilessly, and Erik had felt nothing as devastating in his whole life. Suddenly his mind exploded with white noise and fire, and Charles' presence slipped further, and the bleeding ends of the link ached in place like amputated limbs. Erik lost the presence of Charles from his mind, it suddenly just disappeared, like a simple click, and it left a throbbing emptiness behind; like part of Erik's brain was cut in half and carved out in one quick moment. It felt like there were harpoons impaling his brain. And Erik could feel his mind _weeping_ after Charles, howling after the connection.

Erik had never felt such a strong sensation of being alone in his whole life than in the aftermath of losing the link, of losing the connection to Charles.

_CHARLES. CHARLES!_

Erik screamed his name, time after time, but got no answer, no emotions, nothing. There was nothing he could reach for, nothing to grab. Erik even yanked the badly bleeding, torn ends of the link inside his own head and tried to push them to find their counterparts, but there was nothing. It was quiet. There was no Charles.

And as the helmet slid into place, Erik felt the familiar buzz of the helmet, similar to Shaw's - it was blocking all the possible telepathy, but it also transferred something. Erik quickly realized it was reaching for his brain, and that he had a very little time left before he would become one of the zombie soldiers.

Erik could already feel his body relaxing, his mind dulling, his own self fading. The helmet was connecting his brain to something, or someone, and shutting down everything it didn't need.

Erik concentrated furiously on the broken nerve endings of the now lost link, and the pain and ache kept him aware for a short while more. And as he relaxed in the grip of the Chimera mutants, the mutants let him go. Erik knew he only had milliseconds to act before he would be gone forever. But even now, as he felt like he was partly already drowned, Erik knew that the mutants had made a mistake of freeing him too soon. As a last resort, Erik reached out to the veins inside their bodies, and found iron bumping through them. With a strong, desperate yank, Erik pulled every single ounce of blood out of them, and the mutants' faces were frozen in sudden surprise and emotionless reaction. They hovered in the air for one millisecond, as the blood floated out of their skin, and then each and every one of them started falling to the ground, dead. Their blood rained down to the floor too, smelling faintly of iron.

It was Erik's extreme luck that one of the falling mutants landed on top of him, and fell partly on his head. The dead body hit the helmet and removed it just a bit, but it gave Erik a weak burst of energy and own free will. He couldn't push the helmet out with his hands, but he managed to make his tired body obey just a little, and pin his hands against the floor and drag himself away with them, on the surface of the floor, away from the helmet.

And then, suddenly, simply, he was free.

Erik felt his brain immediately returning to him, of his senses and commands becoming his own, but the link remained broken. Bleeding. Quiet.

And it was then when Erik instantly thought of Charles, and despite the exhausting pain and distress, he gasped and forced himself to sit with some unbelievable strength. He was stained in blood and bruises, and he had trouble breathing properly with his ribs, but Erik didn't care.

It had only been a few seconds since his and Charles' link broke, even if it felt like a small forever.

His head felt too quiet, and Erik couldn't think about anything else besides Charles. It was just _CharlesCharlesPleaseBeAlrightGoodGodRaven_.

Erik pushed himself to his shaky feet, taking support from the railing, and took the first two unsteady but rushed steps towards downstairs.

He partly crashed, partly walked downstairs, and no matter how much he felt like blacking out, Erik ran towards the one room he had left Charles in, even if his balance went in and out and he almost fell. Still, he kept going faster than his body allowed him. He tried to run faster than the wind.

Just when he was only two metres away from the door, Erik heard it. It almost locked his ears.

It was the sound of his whole world crashing down.

It was the sound of a deafening and loud gunshot firing - **BANG** .

For a few, sadistic seconds, it echoed everywhere around him.

Erik's heart stopped.

Icy panic took over him as his legs just automatically stumbled the last two metres to the doorway.

For a very short moment, Erik still had hope, he still had everything to hold onto, and he had wished nothing more than it not being true. That he had imagined it, that it was just his panicked mind playing tricks on him. That what he had heard was a lie.

But then the room came into view, and something inside Erik died.

The wall was splattered with red, fresh blood. It was starting to lazily pour down towards the floor, like red rain.

Erik's eyes just caught Raven drawing the gun away from Charles' hair. Some of Charles' hair had gotten stuck under her fingers where she had held the trigger, but now it fell away, back towards Charles' head. Erik felt like the time it took for them to fall back, obeying gravity, took years.

But then Raven drew her arms away and pulled back, and Charles' limp body started falling bonelessly towards the floor. There was an ugly slide of red following his head on the white wall as he went down. The soft _thump_ as Charles hit the floor made Erik feel like vomiting. But then all of the movement was gone, and Charles' body went still, and Erik caught a flash of empty pair of his favorite blue eyes staring into nothingness, unseeing. Blank. Feeling nothing.

Just like that, they were gone.

No answer came to Erik's horrified pleads inside his own head, and his mouth fell open to scream from the bottom of his lungs, but no voice came out.

His lungs forgot how to breathe.

And in that moment, Erik's whole world turned black. His heart quivered, and shook, and cracks spread everywhere in his heart like it was made of glass. Then it shattered into pieces, his whole body and mind screaming for Charles, only meeting silence.

There was only silence.

Complete, absolute silence.

And as the agony started to rush forward, Erik realized that he had been too late. This silence that had settled - it would last forever.


	21. Chapter 21

For a moment, Erik could only stare, and blink, and stare.

It seemed like the gunshot still rang in the hollow air everywhere around him. Like it would paint itself on Erik's memories and haunt him for years to come.

Erik couldn't breathe.

He couldn't register what he was seeing with his own two eyes.

For a moment, Erik convinced himself that this was a dream, or a nightmare of some kind because it couldn't be _real_. There was no way that...that...Charles was...

Erik couldn't even form the word inside his mind. His terribly, terrible quiet mind.

But the spattered blood on the white wall fell carelessly down towards the floor, and it was like a dam broke in Erik.

When the first shock faded, agony started to rush forward and tear everything open and raw and bleeding in him.

It was like a sudden hurricane was released inside him, eating and destroying everything in its way.

Grief struck him so hard that Erik almost fell to his knees, and he swayed on his place, still staring at the unmoving figure on the floor.

Erik's lungs burned for air, because he hadn't drawn a breath in a very long time. He was too afraid to.

How could he breathe when Charles...when Charles would never do it again?

Charles Xavier was dead.

And the thought hit Erik like a bullet that had pierced Charles' brain, and Erik took a shuddering breath. Every cell in his body, every atom and millimetre of him, exploded with sorrow that was almost too much to bear, and Erik's wide eyes blurred with hot tears, and his powers and everything in him wanted to fight, wanted to lash out, but there was nothing to salvage, nothing to fight for, because he was _too late_.

Even the air tasted suddenly sour and poisonous, and his lungs seemed too small. The walls of the small room seemes to cave in, because there was no escape from the reality of what had just happened inside of it.

Erik started to shake.

He turned his burning eyes to Raven, who simply stood up slowly and cleaned the barrel of the white gun from the blood that had stained it.

She looked like she was making afternoon tea, that's how emotionless and casual she looked like.

As if she hadn't just shot her own brother to the head.

As if...

As if she hadn't destroyed everything.

As if Erik's world hadn't just been shoved out of its axis.

And Erik felt fury hotter than the sun gripping him and he growled, rushing forward and attacking Raven before she could even blink. Erik punched her so hard that he felt his own knuckles crack, but he couldn't even register the pain. Raven fell backwards, and Erik kicked her on the way down so she collided with the floor with a hard bang. And then Erik was on top of her, seeing red and shaking from rage, and he searched her neck and put his arms around it.

Then Erik squeezed as hard as he ever could, and Raven's eyes widened from the sudden lack of air. Still, there was no recognition or emotion in her yellow eyes.

Erik's knuckles protested from the movement, but he didn't even notice.

Erik wanted to crack her neck broken - he hadn't been this angry and out of control in a very, very long time.

-YOU KILLED HIM!" Erik roared, so hard that he almost locked his own ears. -YOU KILLED HIM RAVEN! YOU KILLED HIM!" he shouted from the top of his lungs, and kept banging her helmet-covered head to the floor over and over again, hoping that he could break her skull. To hell with promises, Erik would _fucking skin her alive, _he thought with frantic rage. She had taken Charles' life. Erik had nothing holding him back. He had _nothing_, nothing at all.

Erik felt tears pouring down his cheeks, but he barely noticed them. He was shaking with rage and grief, and Raven was struggling to get air. Erik felt his insides burning and churning from the nausea that had suddenly taken over.

-YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME! He's dead, Raven, dead!" Erik shrieked, but no emotion crossed Raven's face.

Erik wanted her to realize what she had done, she wanted to see her horror and guilt. Just before he would kill her, Erik wanted to see her suffering. Erik would drink Raven's agony like the sweetest wine now, because her guilt could be the only thing that could math his own broken heart.

Erik quickly let one hand go from her neck, and Raven squirmed to get a proper breath. Erik took a heavy, hard grip on the helmet around her head, and tried to yank it. To his surprise, he noticed that the helmet was made in the same style like Charles' prison back in the labs - they had needles going into her brain. Erik threw his own power forward and drew the needles away from her skin quickly, carelessly. The needles weren't even that deep, they were just there to ensure the helmet wouldn't be easily taken off.

Erik didn't care if he hurt her in the process - he got the needles out and then yanked the helmet off.

Raven instantly went still and went limp against the floor, and her eyes flashed with sudden emotion and shock.

Chimera had lost her control over her, and she was slowly coming back to herself.

Erik waited, breathing hard through his nostrils, as her disorientation passed and she slowly realized where she was and who she was staring at. Erik waited until her brain caught up. -E-erik?" she stuttered, and now her voice was full of confused hurt - she obviously had no idea why he was acting like this.

Erik felt no mercy. He fet no warmth towards her. He just waited until she recalled everything, as she gathered her head back together. Then slowly, Erik could see how she started to remember. Erik felt tears still flowing on his own cheeks, and horror started to fill Raven's face too. She looked at Erik, her eyes widening, her breaths becoming suddenly too slowly. Then Raven gasped, and Erik could almost see it in her eyes that suddenly she _knew_.

Raven let out a scream of fear, like this was a nightmare she wanted to wake up from, and she squirmed weakly under Erik. Erik watched her, as she turned her head on the floor, trying to get a better glimpse on the room. Erik followed her gaze and saw her spotting the unmoving figure further away, next to the opposite wall.

Raven's eyes went even wider. -Ch-charles?" she whispered, panic and devastation taking over her voice, her yellow eyes filling with tears. -Charles! No, no!" Raven cried, reaching her hand towards him, as if the simple gesture could bring Charles back. Erik devoured her pain, watched it becoming unbearable, watched her slowly realize of the implications, of the _finality_, of what she had done.

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and started sobbing, shaking under Erik. She could barely take in any breaths, but Erik felt no pity. He simply wanted to snap her neck. Erik wanted to hear the crunch of it breaking, her life ending just like she had pulled that trigger. Simply. Quickly. Erik fantasized about it, he took pleasure of imaging her death in the most cruelest way possible. But slowly, Erik realized that killing her like that would be too _merciful._ If he did it, Erik would offer her the easy way out of this - out of the world of guilt, out of consequences - out of the world where Charles Xavier didn't exist anymore. That coudn't happen - he needed her to_ suffer._ She needed to suffer forever for what she had done. Raven had to live to feel it, feel it destroying her from the inside.

Erik wanted her to stay alive and become a walking corpse in the worst possible way.

So in the end, Erik decided not to kill her now. Watching her grief turning into a hysteric crying and chanting '_no' _and_ 'please'_ endlessly, made Erik forget his own pain for one moment. But then her tears made Erik even angrier, and suddenly his fury kicked back in with full force. He could feel his own emotional turmoil bursting into flames.

-How could you?" Erik growled through his teeth. -HOW COULD YOU? Do you even realize what you've done? DO YOU? HE IS YOUR BROTHER!" he yelled, but something inside Erik broke when he realized he was using the tense wrong. Erik swallowed hard, glaring daggers at Raven. -He WAS your brother. You hear me? Because he's _dead_." Erik hissed, and something cracked in him.

Without being able to control himself, Erik lashed out and started hitting Raven as hard as he could. She barely lifted her arms to protect her face, but even then, Erik kept going.

As his broken knuckles ached and protested with every hit, Erik felt better. The physical pain felt like a caress compared to the storm inside of him. Erik hit and hit, and he yelled and yelled, and he kept repeating himself - _how could you?!_ - until his hands and Raven's face was ruined and they were both bleeding.

Then Erik's hits came to a halt, and he froze for a moment, breathing hard.

But when he stopped, even it was for a few seconds, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

The true finalty of the situation sunk in, and Erik felt his rage leaving him. And it was the worst part, because Erik felt his anger and fury draining away, slipping away, and he had no energy to fight. He tried to hold on, he tried so hard; because his rage was the most essential part of him. Erik was familiar with it, it was his safety, his lifeline, and now he was losing it as helplessness started to dawn on him.

No matter how many times he'd hit Raven, it wouldn't bring Charles back. He could strangle her and tear her throat open with his bare teeth, but...Charles was gone.

_Charles._

Erik's mind reached automatically towards the link, only to find the link aching, broken. Quiet. _Mein Gott. Mein Gott._

Then all of Erik's fury was suddenly gone, and the grief took over. He couldn't breathe properly, and his eyes burned, and tears kept falling in an endless stream. Erik pushed himself up a little, and then stumbled away from Raven.

She did not get up. She just covered her broken face with her hands, sobbing miserably.

Erik didn't care about her.

He took a few shaky breaths, struggling to get up.

Erik turned slowly around, and almost wished the image had changed.

But it hadn't.

Charles was still lying on the exact same spot as before, and Erik felt air escaping his own lungs. His vision blurred with tears.

Erik had to cover his mouth for a moment, and his fingers were smeared with blood and tears.

Erik dragged himself across the room, and dropped next to Charles. Erik's body seemed to weigh like lead - like his body barely even functioned. He reached his hand for Charles, almost too afraid to touch, but he also craved for connection. Tears flowing mutely, Erik gathered Charles from the floor and into his arms. Charles was completely limp in his grip, and his head fell heavily against Erik's shoulder. His unseeing eyes stared into nothingness, somewhere to the ceiling above them, and Erik felt sick just looking at them.

Erik lifted his shaking hand into Charles' cheek, gently brushing it with bloodied fingers, barely even touching. Erik's lower lip trembled and his body shook with a grief he was trying to keep in. Erik felt his face twisting in pain. -Charles." he whispered, calling the name like a prayer, but he got no answer.

Maybe it was all a dream.

Maybe it was not true.

Erik bit his lip so hard that he drew blood, and shook Charles just a little.

-Wake up."

He got no answer.

The silence made something final crack in Erik. There was no escape from the truth. There was no way Erik could pretend that this wasn't real.

Erik's face scrunched up in pain and he dropped his head against Charles' forehead. Erik felt like he was going to melt and dissolve into a puddle, because Charles' skin was still warm where their foreheads touched, and his hair felt as messy as always. His hair even smelled faintly like the damn apples, and Erik felt weak convulses of held tears tightening his stomach in knots. Erik let his hand slide deeper into Charles' hair, and brought their heads even closer together.

Erik squeezed his eyes shut, and then he cried.

_Mein Gott. Mein Gott. Come back...Come back to me._

Erik's tears fell on Charles' pale face, and then rolled carelessly away to the floor.

Maybe they would wash away the rivulets of blood from the floor.

Something frighteningly close to sobs escaped from Erik's mouth, as his shaky lungs tried to breathe air in. It felt like a crime to do it, when Charles in his arms stayed unmoving.

Erik's fingers slided to Charles' neck, trying to find a pulse - but there was nothing. Erik squeezed his eyes shut, trying to feel the buzz of their link; the warm hum of it. He tried as hard as he could, pushing his senses to their edge - but there was nothing. The earlier ties and bonds of the link were hanging abandoned and lonely, and no sensation or the normal spike of energy transferred to Erik's skin through their touch. There was just cold isolation, and Erik was alone. He was so _alone_. He would never have a link like that in his head, he would never feel the flashes of Charles' thoughts and emotions projecting through it. He would never feel the faint noise from Charles' telepathy. He would never see the way Charles raised his eyebrows, or how his eyes lit up in passion when he defended the things he believed in. He would never see the way Charles smiled like a warm spring day, or how his laugh sounded like. He would never hear Charles having a heated argument with him, or feel his irritation towards Erik. They would never fight again, about _anything_. The body in Erik's arms would never move again.

Everything was lost.

Everything was gone.

Charles' brilliant mind had been silenced forever, and the supernova it had been had gone black. And Erik missed it more than anything else in the whole world, missed it with such deafening and crushing feeling that it seemed to gnaw his insides and swallow his heart.

Erik trembled with sobs and hot tears, and he felt his own breathing bouncing back at his skin from Charles' face. Erik felt destroyed. Erik felt more lonely than he ever had in his whole life. What he would do to have one more moment with Charles, to see his wonderful mind working. Erik would take even yelling and fighting, he wouldn't have cared what it was. Just something. Anything.

But Charles was gone, and he was never coming back.

Erik was no stranger to death, but this was different. This felt like a personal insult from the universe.

This was far worse.

This tore Erik's insides _open_.

Could sorrow kill you?

Could it?

Erik briefly even wished that was the case.

Erik lifted his face and with a very slow and quiet movement, he looked down through his tears. And then, he instinctively crouched back and before he even thought what he was doing, he pressed his lips at the crown of Charles' head. It was a shaky and desperate move, and he barely even brushed the skin. It wasn't really a kiss, it was just flowing grief and yearning. _Charles._._.Come back. I'm begging you. _

And he had always taken in pride in the fact that the great Magneto never begged.

There was no room for pride in that moment.

In fact, there was no room for anything else at all.

Erik had been scratched raw. He called Charles' name in his head, even if he knew already that there would be no answer.

There was only endless silence. Erik took a shuddering breath and pressed Charles against his own chest, because he couldn't stand to see those empty eyes looking at nothing. Instead, Erik turned his own eyes towards the sky and the ceiling, waiting for a sudden miracle to bring Charles back. Erik was even ready to pray if that had hepled. He could vaguely hear Raven's horrified sobs, but he couldn't spare another thought to the Chimera or Leap.

Let them come. Let them come with their guns and helmets, Erik didn't care.

He didn't care at all.

They had already taken everything from him. He would laugh maniacally to their faces if they thought that there was anything worse than this.

They had wanted a monster, and they had gotten it.

They had sealed their own fates.

Erik would rip them apart. He would tear their insides with his bare hands. Or even better, Erik would destroy them all. He would destroy the Earth's magnetic field and drag the whole planet too close to the sun so they would all burn, burn like the pain in Erik's chest. They could melt and die as they pleased. The humankind could suffer and destroy itself, because they had been wrong to provoke Erik's wrath. They had called a doomsday upon themselves.

They had taken something that belonged to Erik, and they would pay for it with their lives.

Erik could feel his soul growing darker and fractured somewhere deep inside.

He was careful not to touch Charles' head in the place the bulled had entered. Erik also avoided touching the blood. Instead, he let his fingers stroke loose strands of Charles' hair.

Oh how much time he had wasted. How much useless energy and hatred. Years. If only he could get some of them back. He would do so many things differently.

Erik realized, there and then, that he couldn't allow this to happen. He didn't care how, but he was going to bring Charles back. Whether it took a mutant from the other side of the world that had the power to resurrect the dead, or if Erik needed to go back in time like Logan had - he'd do it. Erik didn't even care that going to past might mean that he could lose all of the progress and new shaky peace he had made with Charles. Erik couldn't care less - he'd listen to Charles yelling at him, or being angry, or bitter, _anything_ - rather than this. What would his future years be like - his long life - without Charles Xavier in the world?

He had always counted on the fact that in the future, they had both become old and grey. They'd both be _alive_, despite their indifferences.

Erik couldn't imagine a world where Charles didn't exist anymore.

He just couldn't.

Distantly, Erik heard some movement behind him - likely Raven moving - but he didn't even bother to turn around. His tears made ugly tracks to his face, but his sorrow was turning into a toxic numbness. Erik could feel Magneto creeping in. Frankenstein's monster had been lured out. The one that felt no mercy, no peace.

The humans had, ironically, killed all of the remaining humanity in him.

Erik was only a shell.

He was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode.

If he had had a heart, it was gone now.

It had been blown to bits to the white wall next to him, just like Charles' brain.

Erik could sense people approaching the room, somewhere far away. But he could only stare at the wall in front of him, and the red stains on it.

It wasn't enough that Charles was lying dead on his arms, they wanted to take even this from him.

Something dark started to build inside Erik. Tears still forming in his eyes, Erik felt his power surging out and expanding, expanding more than it ever had before. If he had been on his right mind, he would have felt astonished how far he could reach, how easily he did it. This wasn't something that was given to him by something between rage and serenity, it was coming from the deepest parts of Erik's mind. From that one cold part - the dead desert where Charles had made dark flowers grow from, where he had brought life to - that was the place where Erik's new power grew from.

For a moment, the world waited in terrifed silence.

Then Erik let it go.

Suddenly the whole mansion shook around him - metal, pipes, wood, furniture and walls screeched in movement. Erik made the whole building quiver and shake, and he could hear surprised gasps and distant yelps from the Chimera people from somewhere. Erik let out a hollow, joyless chuckle as he could almost smell the fear of the people who weren't brainwashed. They realized that Erik was going to tear this whole place down - he would turn this mansion into a graveyard.

Some things were already collapsing, and Erik's hands shook with the effort.

His head and body protested - this was too much, even for him. He was applying magnetism to things that he normally wouldn't. Erik realized he might have been killing himself, slowly, with this attempt, but couldn't bring himself to care.

People were screaming orders somewhere away, as Erik's playthings killed them were they stood. Soon, the building would give in and collapse.

_Erik._

His power reached even to the fences far on the fields outside the mansion. To the cars and lamp-posts. Erik took them too.

_Erik._

Erik knew he was very likely dying, because his mind was starting to sound awfully like Charles calling his name. It was rather sweet, he thought mechanically.

Raven moved somewhere behind him, but Erik didn't pay attention.

_Erik!_

Now Erik's mind jumped just a little, because that voice sounded definitely like Charles'. Maybe he was going mad. Maybe his grieving mind was self-destructive.

_Erik!, _now clearer and more demanding. Erik almost felt a slight poke in his mind, but it was impossible, he knew. He flickered his eyes to Charles, and he was as unmoving as ever. Erik tightened his grip on the mansion. Soon he would bring it down. He would need to bend it just a bit more.

_Erik, stop!_

This time, Erik's stomach dropped because the voice was so clear and demanding, and so _Charles_. It couldn't just be the figment of his imagination. It couldn't be his mind being cruel to him. But still, Erik tilted his head and checked - but Charles' unmoving head was leaning against Erik's shoulder, and Erik's own tears were falling to Charles' pale cheek.

_Erik, listen to me. Whatever you do, don't show that you can hear me._

Erik was sure that he was completely out of his mind. He had gone finally mad. But it was sweet, this oblivion, so Erik didn't reject it.

_Erik, please stop. Everything is fine. What you see is not real. But you can't let anyone know._

Erik just stared, tightening his grip a little on Charles. Every word and bits of Charles' voice stung his broken heart even more, tore the raw flesh. He was just mad. He was mad, and this was a dream. Sweet dream, he admitted, but cruel in its sweetness. How ironic, that Magneto would become a true maniac in the end.

_Erik, concentrate. You are not insane. It's really me. I'm...I'm fine. I'm alive. What you see is an illusion._

Suddenly, an ugly spark of hope flickered light in the darkness of Erik's mind. He hesitated just a moment before he continued wrecking the house. No. No no no. Charles couldn't be alive. He was dead, here on Erik's arms, and wasn't moving an inch. He wasn't breathing. He had no pulse. His eyes were empty. He was gone.

_You are not listening, Erik. This is real. I seem dead, but you are watching an illusion I created. Please, you have to stop what you're doing. Just stop. You're killing us all._

Erik froze. Suddenly, his power came to a halt, and the building stopped screeching. He hesitated. Il...illusion? His devastated mind was trying to comprehend what was being said. Charles' voice didn't sound the same as it had when their link had still been intact. It was distant and quiet. It was coming somewhere outside.

_Yes, Erik. I'm not dead. I'm not dead, you hear me? Please stop crying._

Erik gasped, and suddenly he had trouble breathing. He held Charles tighter in his arms, almost too scared to believe it. If the hope was fake, he wouldn't be able to...He couldn't...

_Erik, I made an illusion for Raven. The Chimera must think I'm dead._

Erik took a shuddering breath and he started to shake. His tears flowed even harder, and hope sparked with a such an intense force that it seemed to destroy something from his chest.

-You're...you're..." Erik stuttered with a hoarse voice.

_No, no! Erik, don't let them know!_

Erik snapped his mouth shut instantly, staring down with wide eyes. _But...but you're dead. I saw it happen,_ Erik cried out in confusion inside his mind.

_I'm not dead, Erik. But __**they**__ have to think that I am. So don't say anything aloud. I shouldn't be even talking to you if their telepaths decide to attack your mind._

For a moment, Erik could only stare, and let it sink in. Erik was afraid to believe it, so he had to reason with himself. Charles _could_ create illusions, Erik knew that...but it still seemed too good to be true.

_Erik, I'm _not_ dead._

Erik held his breath for a while. He tried to accept the new information. _You're not dead. You're not dead,_ he chanted in his head. He repeated it like a mantra, because it was hard to believe when he was holding a limp body in his arms.

But then the relief set in, and Erik gasped and dropped his face against Charles' neck, and almost crushed Charles against himself. Charles stayed unmoving, and nothing on the outside changed, but Erik could feel his own soul being revived.

Tears still flowed endlessly, and Erik took a tight grip on Charles' hair, almost a bit violent._ You're alive, you're alive, _Erik repeated to himself. _Gott sei Dank._

He pushed his fingers deep into Charles' hair, now breathing in the scent. _You're alive,_ Erik whispered barely audibly, but it almost turned into a kiss against Charles' neck because his mouth was so close to the skin when he formed the words.

Erik kept stroking Charles' chair almost as a manic gesture to keep himself together. He almost felt that he couldn't get close enough, because he wanted nothing more than to feel Charles' breathing on his skin and see his eyes move again, but of course there was nothing. On the outside, nothing had changed.

Erik kept telling himself that Charles was alive.

Not dead. Not dead.

Erik lost the track of time. He inhaled the scent of apples into his lungs, he filled every crack in his soul and put his broken pieces back together again. He lost all of his boundaries and rules, he just pressed his face against Charles' cheek and neck, squeezing him protectively against himself. Erik didn't even care Charles could probably hear and see him perfectly. Or hear his chaotic thoughts, and feel his bleeding thoughts.

Erik didn't care at all.

_Erik. Erik, please listen. They are coming here. Leap is still alive, even if barely. Our only chance is to try and force him into teleporting, otherwise we will all be dead. For real._

Erik was about to ask aloud, but silenced himself just in time. Instead, he waited.

_Remember how I managed to use your powers to move parts of the stadium back with the Trask thing - even when you were unconscious? I can probably do the same with Leap. But you need to get me to him._

It took a moment to listen what Charles was saying. It seemed like Erik's brain was functioning very slowly after the trauma.

_Erik. Please lift me up and take us both to Leap._ _The Chimera are closing in, and they are going to either enslave you or kill you._

Erik had to struggle to make his body move again and respond to commands. Carefully, he gathered Charles into his arms and rose, even if slowly. Erik still felt sick because Charles was too still, and Erik felt like his mind could slip into grief at any moment. But with determination, Erik walked across the room where Leap was still lying on the bed. The young teleporter was almost as pale as the sheets below him, and he looked like he was already gone. The knife was still sticking out of him, and there was so much blood around him it was almost a miracle that Leap hadn't bled out yet.

Erik coldly stepped over Raven, who had hunched herself against the wall.

_Tell her to run, Erik._

Erik felt cold disagreement taking over him. Maybe Erik wanted Raven to get herself killed. Maybe he wanted Raven to suffer, like she was supposed to. Charles might have been alive, but she had still pulled the trigger. She had murdered Charles, even if she hadn't succeeded.

_Erik! Please tell her to go and save herself._

Erik wanted to argue, but knew there was no time. He looked down at Raven, coldly. She looked completely frozen and wrecked, sobbing there. Erik poked his foot slightly against her thigh. -Get the hell out of here, Raven. Run. You owe Charles that." Erik said with a tight and unsteady voice.

Mentioning Charles' name made Raven look up with mournful eyes. -Go!" Erik shouted so loudly that Raven startled. At first she looked like she was going to wait for her own death there, but then slowly, she shifted herself to look like one of the mutants that Erik had killed before. She even added the helmet on top of her head, to make it seem like she was still their puppet. Erik was almost impressed - she could escape at some point when she had the chance - she wouldn't be able to actually run with her ruined ankle. Making herself look like one of the obedient mutants could save her life. Raven even hid her fresh injuries behind her new appearance.

Erik could hear the steps from the people approaching the room.

It seemed like nothing was happening, but Erik sensed that Charles must have been diving into Leap's head. Erik just stood there. Seconds ticked by, and soon they would be caught. And then dead for real. Or enslaved. Erik felt his heart starting to take pace. Footsteps were almost there now.

_Erik, take Leap's hand! Now!_, Charles hurried voice ordered.

Erik took one quick grip on Leap, and before his fingers even properly landed, Erik spotted Chimera people arriving to the doorway. They all lifed their guns and tranquilizers in the air. Before they had the chance to fire, their targets were already gone.

* * *

The next time Erik breathed in, he appeared into a rushed hospital floor.

The white corridors came into view in a quick burst, and he had to blink several times to make sense of them.

It took him a moment to realize that they had actually been able to escape; that they were safe.

Erik swallowed, and some slight nausea washed over him. His own head wound suddenly reminded of itself, but Erik barely cared about it. Instead, he gasped and looked down at Charles in his arms. For his horror, Charles was still unmoving. Erik shook him carefully, panic starting to take over once again.

-Charles! Charles!" Erik shouted at him.

_Are we safe?, _Charles voice asked inside Erik's head.

Erik nodded furiously. -We're at a hospital. You succeeded. You used Leap to teleport us. We're safe for now." he listed frantically.

For a moment, it seemed that Charles considered his words, like making sure that was the case. But they really were here, and the imminent danger had passed.

And then, Erik could see the illusion unraveling in front of his eyes. Erik drew air in so quickly that he almost choked on it. He watched as the bullet hole in Charles' head slowly shrunk and disappeared, just like that, like a movie playing itself backwards. Then the blood vanished from Charles' hair - like it had never been there at all - and the ashen shade on his face turned into a livelier colour. The curtain in front of Charles' dead, empty eyes dropped slowly, and more awareness slipped into then. As the fatal gunshot wound from his head disappeared, a new, slowly bleeding wound appeared on Charles' cheek - a real one this time.

Finally, Charles' eyes suddenly grew sharper. For a few seconds, he stayed completely still. But then he finally blinked. Erik's breathing got stuck to his throat, and he once again couldn't help tears falling as he saw Charles coming back to life in front of his own eyes. Charles drew air in and then his eyes finally flickered to Erik's.

Erik let out a miserable moan of relief and squeezed Charles against himself._ Gott sei Dank. Gott sei Dank._

Charles' face was already wet with Erik's earlier tears, but now there was more coming. -Erik, please stop crying," Charles whispered.

Erik let out a pained chuckle and lowered Charles a little in his arms, taking in Charles' perfectly too blue eyes looking back at him - in a way Erik thought that they never, ever would again. Relief washed over Erik and almost wrecked him to pieces. It felt like a miracle. But the horrible memory still haunted Erik so badly. He squeezed his own eyes shut, tears still flowing. -I thought...I thought..."

-I know," Charles said quietly, his voice unsteady. He looked at Erik with pained eyes and empathy radiating from him. - I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Erik, but I had to. Otherwise Raven would have killed me for real." Charles said, and curled his fingers around Erik's wrist. His touch seemed to burn Erik.

-You...you..." Erik stuttered, but couldn't even complete his sentence. He felt how Charles breathed air in, how his body now worked again, and it made Erik speechless. Erik could have never guessed that such simple things could make him feel so grateful.

But then they were interrupted by nurses noticing them and starting to rush in. Their teleporting stunt had been too much for Leap's dying body - his heart had stopped because of it. Soon, the nurses were rushing the young teleporter to a surgery, giving him electric shocks to revive him. Erik and Charles were soon questioned, and they were both in need of some bandaging and batching up. Erik refused to leave Charles alone for one more second, but he knew this wasn't over. They needed to talk. There was so much to talk about.

But Erik gave in to the nurses that started treating the injuries, and they fell into silence.

* * *

Five hours later, they were both mostly alright. The doctors wanted to keep Erik there for the night because of the head injury, but Erik refused to stay. Charles had received an ugly hit to his face from Raven's foot that had caused the wound on his cheek. He had also received a hit to his knee when she had knocked him down, but naturally Charles wasn't able to feel the pain from that. A nasty, purple bruise had already formed to Charles' cheek, and they put a small butterfly plaster on top of the wound. With Erik, they stitched the back of his head and told him that his ribs were fractured. Also his knuckles were broken for hitting Raven so hard and they were bandaged heavily. The doctors insisted on keeping Erik in the hospital, but Erik told them that as long as he could walk upright, he wouldn't stay.

Erik just wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as they could. He got a wheelchair for Charles and then they just left.

They found a small bad hotel room near the hospital. They didn't want to go too far away, because they wanted to keep their eye on Leap, after all. The young teleporter, had by pure luck, pulled through and was now in critical state but still alive. Erik and Charles had no money but one trick from Charles and the receptionist seemed to be convinced that they had already paid. The building had no elevator, so Erik ended up carrying Charles upstairs while his chair floated after them. Even if someone had seen, neither of them would have cared.

* * *

When they finally reached the room, they noticed that it had only one bed, but Erik didn't mind.

In fact, he felt utterly glad that he didn't have to have any extra distance between him and Charles right now.

There was a heavy weight on his chest that had settled there earlier, and even despite seeing Charles alive and the first shock fading, the big lump didn't disappear.

Erik set Charles to the bed, and the quietness of the cheap and badly decorated room felt like a blessing.

They were both bruised and a little broken, and the room was far from ideal, but it didn't matter.

Erik collapsed on the bed next to Charles. They were both lying there, too exhausted even to sit up. Outside, it was raining again.

For a very long while, none of them said anything. Erik just laid there, breathing heavily in and out.

The room smelled like dust and old newspapers.

-Erik," Charles started very quietly. Erik swallowed and turned to look at Charles. His eyes were pained. -I'm sorry for today. I truly am. But you must understand that I had no other choice in that situation."

Erik looked at him, desperation and his earlier sorrow bubbling right beneath his skin.

Charles sighed. -When...when our link broke..." Erik drew air so sharply in that Charles had to wait a moment. He absolutely hated the fact that their link had been taken away so violently. Charles quieted his voice. Rain tapped the window, and the small room felt so much safer than the too-bright hospital.

Charles started talking again, now even quieter. -I was left alone with Raven. I thought I'd be able to break the control around her mind. But the helmet blocked me too well. I couldn't enter her mind. I could only manipulate the ingoing impulses, such as her vision and touch. I created the illusion for her. You must understand, Erik, that I needed to make the illusion as strong as I could to be able to project it to her. Because in the end, I couldn't get any contact to her just by speaking to her. So she did pull the trigger, and the bullet was real. But Erik, I was not in danger at all. I wasn't even at the spot she saw me in. The bullet hole and the blood were illusions too. It's unfortunate that she wore the helmet, otherwise, you wouldn't have seen me getting shot. I could have spared you from that. But when you arrived...Erik, I couldn't let you know the truth at first. I had to wait. And I had to control your sensations too - like not actually feeling my pulse and breathing, even if they were there all the time. I had no other choice. Raven's mind was connected to the Chimera, and someone was controlling her and watching the situation through her eyes. They now think I'm dead - because they saw the same as she did. They saw my murder through Raven's eyes, and they saw your reaction."

Erik understood, of course. It had been clever. Incredibly clever. But still, Erik felt angry towards Charles.

Charles sighed. -Erik...For one more time, I'm really sorry for having to put you through that. But I never expected..." he hesitated suddenly, and his voice faded.

Erik looked at him, tired anger flashing in his mind. Erik felt so vulnerable, so tired. -Did you think that I didn't care about you that much? That...your death wouldn't have been a tragedy for me?" he whispered sharply.

Charles blinked, swallowing. He brought his head just a bit closer. -Erik..." he searched for words. -I...I was astonished to witness your reaction. It almost...it almost scared me. You shouldn't be so...You shouldn't have reacted so strongly. It's dangerous. You could have done horrible things if your powers had went out of control."

Erik huffed, but there was hurt in it. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Instead, the fear crippled him again. It felt like that whenever he stopped to concentrate on the current moment just a little, the horrible memories from the mansion flashed in front of his eyes. -I was so afraid." he confessed, voice shaking.

Erik hadn't felt this open and raw since his childhood. -I was so afraid you were gone." he muttered, lump in his throat.

Charles' face softened with empathy. -I'm alright. I'm truly alright." he said and reached his fingers and curled them around Erik's wrist. Once again, the touch seemed to burn Erik's skin and he gasped for the contact. -And I'm glad you are too." Charles said with such warmth that Erik almost wanted to flee the room.

Seconds passed in silence.

Erik flickered his eyes to Charles. He craved for closeness. He craved for touch, and their meld. Erik was so desperately shaken about the experience, of spending few moments in a world where Charles had been gone, that he wanted to forget it forever. Right now he couldn't have cared less about any fight they had ever had. Or any different values and ideologies. Just watching Charles breathing felt like a gift. It felt like it was the only thing Erik needed right now, to have those blue eyes locked with his.

Instinctively, Erik pushed himself a little closer, and reached for Charles' bruised cheek with his good hand. He didn't dare to touch it, because the skin was swollen and lilac.

-This is a small prize to pay for today," Erik mumbled, hovering his fingers right above the skin. He felt a rush of protectiveness, and briefly wished he had the power to heal, so he could make the bruise go away.

Charles huffed. -It is." he said, and smiled a little, but winced involuntarily as the damaged skin streched.

Erik instantly leant closer, worry spiking. Charles caught his wrist before and set it down the bed between them. -It's alright, Erik. We all just need some time to heal." he said quietly. His words seemed to have more meaning than the obvious.

There was a small silence in the room. It was raining even harder than before, and the room was dim.

They hadn't even put on a light.

Erik watched Charles for a moment, his eyes sliding to Charles' lips and the way he was breathing. Erik could have stared for hours, because he still feared that it might stop at any second and Charles would become still and dead again.

-I would have killed Raven where she stood," Erik said slowly, almost dreamily. -I would have killed anyone who dared to lay their finger on you."

Charles let out a long sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. -I know, Erik. I know. As grateful as I am, it still somewhat scares me."

Erik looked at him, confused. -Why? Why would it scare you, if I'd be ready to strike down anyone who threatened you?"

Charles looked at him for a long while. -Because, Erik...I get the feeling I'm the only one you would do that for." Erik bit his lip, and he didn't need to reply to that - they both knew the answer. Charles looked both a little pained and gentle. -And quite honestly, I don't know what to make of it."

Erik looked away. He didn't have an answer. He couldn't explain it either. He didn't know why everything was different when it came to Charles, he had no idea why he always felt like Charles was an antidote to everything inside him that was hurting and dark and animalistic.

Erik wished they would still have their link. Erik missed hearing Charles talk to him telepathically, and getting some emotions and thoughts projecting from him. Now, Erik was completely alone in his own head, and it was quiet. Not even the distant noise of Charles' telepathy was there. Erik felt like that the small distance between them was too long, and at that moment, he craved the meld more than anything. It was like magnetism was playing a bad joke on him.

But of course it would make no sense to rebuild the link again. Charles was alright now. They had meant to break the link at some point, anyway. It had only existed because of Charles' broken mind after the Chimera labs, and Erik tried to remind himself of that. Still, his body almost physically ached for the meld. As if nothing else could convince him that Charles was truly alright.

They spent a long moment in silence, but they weren't tired because too much things had happened that day, and the aftermath of adrenaline was still having a hold on them both.

Erik studied Charles, and drank in his face and even the smallest twists and turns of his face, the exact shade of his blue eyes. Erik distantly realized that Charles was still holding his wrist, feeling his pulse under his fingertips. Erik had the strongest urge to be more closer to Charles again, but didn't dare to move.

The rain made the room feel safer, and small, like they were the only two persons in the whole world.

-Don't ever change," Erik suddenly heard himself saying, for his own surprise as Charles'.

Charles lips curled into a hesitant, small smile. -That wasn't something I ever expected to hear from you."

Erik flickered his eyes to Charles, then dropped his gaze. -I mean it. We...we've had our differences. I know that. But what it felt like today...I couldn't stand the thought of...of you gone." Erik confessed.

-You'd rather take me as I am?" Charles joked with a light tone, but Erik stared him back, dead-serious. -I'd take you exactly as you've always been. Flaws and ridiculous ideologies and everything."

Charles' smile disappeared, as he looked at Erik with more serious tone too. It was like he was seeing Erik through different eyes completely, and couldn't really put his finger on what he was seeing.

Charles studied him for a long while, until he seemed to be filled with several emotions at the same time. Slowly, they changed to something like surprised joy. -I never thought you'd understand," Charles whispered. -That you'd..." he searched for words, smiling a little once again, his blue eyes sparking. -You understand now, Erik, don't you? Why I never changed you. Why I would have never done that to you. Why is it important for us all to have the freedom to choose and learn. Once you've made a decision based on free will and choice, nobody can take it from you, unlike an opinion that was forced on you."

Erik watched as Charles beamed with such ridiculous joy that he almost felt as young as they had been when they had met.

Erik realized he wouldn't have minded to listen Charles ramble on for hours.

Charles looked at Erik so intimately that Erik briefly wondered if his skin could actually lit up in flames for that. -I'm glad that you're here, Erik." he finally said, and was about to tap Erik's palm before Erik caught his hand from the air. Charles raised a curious eyebrow.

Erik couldn't silence the need in his chest, and he dragged Charles' hand against the side of his head.

He wasn't able to say anything, he just placed the hand in there. Charles eyed him for a while, trying to read his expressions, but didn't pull his hand away.

Erik swallowed hard. He hated that the physical touch didn't bring their link alive. It stayed as quiet as ever. It was almost like Charles wasn't there at all, like he was still as unmoving and dead as in Erik's memories. And Erik felt so hungry, so hungry for the meld, for the connection, for the assurance that they were both alive and breathing and here.

Had it been any other moment, Erik might have let it go. But as he laid there, hospital painkillers in his system and rain tapping on the windows and Charles so close and the trauma and loss so fresh in his mind, Erik just pushed himself closer and pressed their foreheads together. He knew that he was a bit too close, but he didn't care. He closed his eyes as he felt Charles' warm skin touching his, and felt Charles' breathing on his face. And for a moment, Erik allowed himself to be weak, because his arms instinctively moved forward and he pulled Charles into an embrace. It was more than a little awkward because they were both lying down on their sides, but Erik didn't mind. Charles stiffened for a moment, clearly not knowing what Erik was doing, but when he got the idea, Charles relaxed and leant into the embrace. He patted Erik's arm distantly - probably sensing Erik's still aching agony and grief.

Erik breathed in the way Charles' hair smelled like, how his skin felt like and how his face was somewhat buried in Erik's shoulder, though Erik was careful not to touch the bruise on his cheek.

Erik squeezed his eyes shut in the dark, just memorizing this moment in the greatest detail, because he knew it might have the only one he could ever have. He wasn't someone who usually sought physical closeness, but now he felt like he was about to drown without it. And Erik once again felt tears threatening to fill his eyes, because he was both so terrified of almost losing Charles and then relieved that Charles was fine. And Erik was terrified that he could be reduced into this state, that someone had a power like this over him without even _trying_.

Erik fought back to the burning behind his eyes.

Charles didn't move; he just stayed there, breathing in an out; as if he sensed Erik's plight.

Erik felt his chest almost exploding with all of the emotions he was currently feeling. As if they were overwhelming him. He had never been so emotionally stirred in his life than at that moment, and Erik took almost a desperately tight grip on the fabric around Charles' arm. Erik breathed quickly in and out, almost panting, and he wanted to say all of the things he was thinking because othewise they would be forever left unsaid.

-Charles Xavier," he breathed out so quickly that it almost got stuck to his throat. -I'm so glad I met you." he whispered, and against all of his usual boundaries, he pressed a kiss on Charles' forehead - second time that day, but now feeling affection instead of fear and pain. It was strong but quick, and Erik withdrew himself, slightly shocked to realize what he had just confessed and done.

The moment Erik pulled a little away, Charles lifted his head from his shoulder and looked at Erik with such a wary and unreadable look, that Erik didn't have the faintest idea of what he was thinking.

After a moment, Charles lowered his head carefully right next to Erik's. Erik breathed hard, and could still feel the touch of Charles' skin on his lips, and it tingled a little. Charles was quiet, and observed Erik for a very long while, as if he was trying to make his mind about something. Erik felt even a little shy, as ridiculous as it felt, so he had to drop his eyes away.

The small space between seemed to pricke with electricity, and Charles was too close and too far at the same time.

Finally, Charles moved after a long silence. He reached for Erik's chin, and lifted it up to find Erik's eyes.

-Erik," he said, his voice thick with emotion. -For the first time in a very long time, I can say this from the bottom of my heart: I am glad I met you, too."

Erik blinked, and another round of tears threatened to appear again, because nobody had been this gentle and accepting and loving towards him in his whole life.

Then Charles even chuckled, and Erik shivered for the sound. Charles reached the side of Erik's head with his hand and pressed it gently there. He pushed himself so close that their foreheads were touching again. There was a moment of silence, when they just breathed together, in synch, as the rain poured down somewhere far outside, and they fitted into the small bed too well.

Erik realized he had curled his fingers around Charles' arm again.

_Correct me if I'm wrong,_ Charles said quietly to Erik's head, even if it was more distant than it ever had through their link, _but you seem to project a lot of memories from our meld._

Erik felt almost ashamed that he had been broadcasting that strongly, and he felt the need to pull away. But Charles interrupted him. _Erik..._

Erik looked up at him, and he was so close that Erik could make out every detail. There was an unspoken question in Charles' face, and Erik's eyes widened a little when he realized what he was asking.

Holding his breath, Erik nodded. Charles nodded, too, and placed his hand better on the side of Erik's head.

Then, Erik felt the familiar feeling of Charles' presence slipping into his head. It was like warm water, as always, and Erik felt his wounds and bruises aching less. He relaxed against the sheets, breathing out as he could feel his mind almost rejoicing for having Charles in there.

_You once told me that you'd let me...that you'd let me into your mind. Not just passing by..._

Erik could remember his own promise on the roof, and nodded. He didnt' hesitate. _Do it._

Charles blinked in surprise, as if he was taken aback by Erik's trust. _Are you su-..._

_Yes_, Erik answered simply.

Charles eyed him, his eyes gleaming in the dim light. Erik only wished Charles could finally see everything he had been thinking ever since the moment he had broken into the Chimera headquarters. How he had learnt so much of Charles and his past, his memories...Just the basic rules how his telepathy worked. And Erik didn't feel driven into a corner - he didn't feel like he missed his old helmet at all. He _wanted_ Charles to see, because it was so frustrating that Charles was too polite to take a proper peek and really know what Erik meant when he said Charles wasn't a mere tool to him.

Charles looked like he was about to ask permission one more time._ Just do it_, Erik said.

Finally, Charles presence sunk deeper into Erik's mind, and they both closed their eyes instinctively.

Erik felt his heartbreak mending and quieting down - his mind recognized Charles, and for a moment, he almost felt alright again.

And he didn't even regret his decision when Charles started seeing his memories and thoughts, Erik just felt deep satisfaction that Charles could finally _understand_. How much Erik had changed in some ways. How much he had learnt. What he had thought during their time together.

Erik felt flashes of Charles' surprise, and his confusion. It was as if he was vaguely impressed, too. But there was sorrow, and guilt too. Erik saw flashes of his own memories from the hospital when Charles hadn't even known his own face, or when they had been hiding from the Chimera in the cabin. How Charles' telepathy had felt when it had almost killed them both, of how horribly in detail Erik could remember Charles' childhood memory of feeling his step-father burning to death. How Erik had watched Charles from the other side of the chessboard, how Charles had looked to Erik's eyes when he smiled, how he had looked like on the soft light when he had fallen asleep after their meld. How Charles had looked right after Raven had pulled the trigger - the image stayed fresh and poignant in Erik's mind, illusion or not.

And Erik could feel faint echoes of his own emotions inside his head as Charles observed his mind, and in the midst of it all, Erik realized how easily he could be crushed after sharing so private and vulnerable information. It was almost embarrassing that Charles caught some of Erik's intense emotions that he had felt earlier. Erik knew Charles could hurt him like no one else after this, but Erik still didn't feel afraid. Charles was too gentle and kind for that. He had his flaws and his dark sarcasm, but he was never intentionally cruel.

And maybe Erik wasn't, for once, so against the idea of being so alone.

Maybe it felt good to have something else to orbit around than his anger. Or _someone_ else.

It both scared and fascinated him.

Finally, Charles pulled away a little, even if he didn't leave Erik's mind. Erik could catch some of Charles' sensations - utter silence and confusion. Charles eyed him like he couldn't really believe what he had just witnessed - like he had expected only cold schemes and calculated moves. Erik almost wished that was true. It would have been more simple than to be torn to so many directions.

Erik drank in the sight of Charles - so alive, so close. Charles clearly was trying to gather his thoughts and say something, but somehow Erik didn't expect him say anything at all.

Right now, Erik was glad to only exist side by side.

Because once again, Erik's earlier fears and agony cripped him so strongly that he was afraid to lose this, as if Charles could drop dead any moment. As simply as Raven had pulled the trigger. That was how quickly it could have been over.

And Erik felt a wave of desperation approaching him like a tide, and he was so certain that he would drown under it.

It was so horrible to care something about so fragile - something only one bullet could take away in the blink of an eye.

Erik felt distantly some regret that he hadn't walked away much earlier. He should have ordered someone else to stay with Charles in the hospital. Or in the cabin. Because Erik didn't want to be afraid for someone else's life. He didn't want to _care_, because this was destructive.

Erik realized he had created himself an Achilles heel - that the great Magneto had a soft spot. A weakness.

And it was horrifying, and wonderful, and horrifying.

Erik let his head sink into the pillow, and he was once again too close and too far to Charles, and his restless thoughts couldn't be silenced.

Erik breathed against the soft material, almost wanting to bury himself to it.

He wanted to have a moment of complete oblivion, but he was too afraid to ask. There was a chance a mind meld couldn't be even done without the link.

In the end, Erik forgot how loudly he must have been projecting the idea. He felt a soft nudge in his mind, and Erik flickered his eyes to Charles'.

_Erik?_

Erik realized that Charles could more or less ask him to do anything, and he would do it. Erik felt too exhausted to ponder over that. _Please,_ he just sent, and Charles understood.

Erik hadn't even believed Charles would actually do it, until he felt warm fingertips on the side of his face. Erik breathed in too quickly, and his fractured ribs protested.

Maybe they both needed this more than they had realized.

A worldless question was sent to Erik's way, and Erik sent approval so strong that he didn't even need to mouth the question to anything verbal.

So, gently, Erik felt as Charles started to pull their minds a bit together, and Erik forward, towards his own head. It wasn't as easy and fluid as it had been with the link, and Erik could tell Charles had to put more effort into it, but Erik could still feel their minds starting to blur into each other. Erik's eyelids fluttered shut, and as the first sparks of nebulas and starlight and supernovas caught his awareness, Erik smiled more widely than he had in a very long time.

All his pain and insecurities were gone.

Just like that.

Their minds tangled to each other, and Erik's panic and loss were only strengthening the meld. It wasn't as seamless and flawsless as with their link before, but it was much more desperate from Erik's side.

Soon Erik started to lose the sensations from the real world. His pains and aches dulled, and the continous hole in his chest started to disappear. Charles was here, and he was alive, and Erik felt safe. And Erik ignored all of the possible boundaries, because he had been holding Charles' dead body just hours before and he wanted to kill that memory with the hottest fire, so he pulled Charles closer and shamelessly held him close, careful not to cause any pain to Charles' bruises. Charles didn't pull away, as if he didn't really mind.

Erik thought briefly that this must have been, ironically, one of the most satisfying moments he had ever experienced. Even if it might have been because of the loss he had experienced.

Slowly, Charles' mind wrapped around Erik's. Erik went deeper into his mind and into the meld, and Erik held onto him as hard as he could. Their minds recognized each other and curled around each other like desperate lovers, mixing and blurring with such speed that it almost felt like an instinct. Charles had gone very still already on the bed, because he was concentrating on the meld so much.

Erik could steal one moment for himself - when he was still somewhat aware but Charles wasn't. They were so close in the dark room. Erik couldn't be sure, but distantly it felt like his own face and lips touched something solid on their own accord before he started to sink into the meld. He might had been doing it on an instinct, but he felt suddenly taste of salt and wetness in his mouth, and breathing that wasn't his own, but Erik didn't know where his skin ended and Charles' started anymore.

Erik's last physical sensation was curling his fingers into Charles' hair, despite how his broken knuckles ached for the simple movement.

The warm sea of galaxies surrounded Erik, and he felt complete again.

He heard Charles' heartbeat through their connected minds. Erik wouldn't let anyone ever silence that.

He stopped existing on his own, and became one with Charles' presence. Here, it felt like death couldn't ever touch them again.

And Erik felt like he had come home.


	22. Chapter 22

At some time during the night, Charles had fallen asleep and the mind meld between him and Erik had faded slowly away - but it had happened so gently that Erik didn't wake up when it happened. With their previous link broken by the Chimera, the meld was somewhat less intense and permanent than it had been before. So Erik couldn't sense it disappearing when he was asleep.

What he did wake up to was his own nightmares.

As soon as Erik's mind was left on its own and Charles' presence slipped away from his head, Erik's conciousness filled his dreams with horrible images, mixing with his memories from the earlier day. Erik saw Charles getting shot, over and over again, and Erik saw Raven's emotionless face as she cleaned the white gun in her hands. Erik was swimming in pools of blood, and Charles' body stayed unmoving and dead on the floor, and there was no illusion to save his life and no pleas brought him back. Erik kept shaking Charles in his dreams, chanting _'wake up, wake up please_' - but Charles never did.

Erik couldn't escape from his nightmares, and they became more violent and more brutal the longer they went on. Erik distantly realized he was sweating, and that his fractured ribs ached as he drew air in too quickly. But he could see Charles' blank eyes with great detail - how dead and empty they looked - and Erik felt Charles' skin under his fingertips without any pulse. At some point, the dreams changed, and Erik was back in the Chimera's headquarters only to arrive too late. Or then he was at the hospital, but both Leap and Charles were lying dead on his feet. Erik saw himself standing on the too-white corridor and trying to wish both of them alive, but both Charles and Leap stayed lifeless. The agonizing images went on and got more intsense. No matter the place or situation, Charles kept dying repeatedly and Erik started panicking, because he didn't know what was real and what was a dream anymore.

As the night crawled on, Erik lost the ability to tell that this was all a dream.

Because all that mattered was that Charles was _dead_, and there was blood everywhere, and Erik screamed inside his own head. Suddenly Erik had no doubt about it - the Chimera had succeeded after all. They had murdered Charles, and Erik had just denied what was true. Erik was filled with grief so strong that it almost knocked the breath away from him, and he squeezed his fingers into fists, uncaring that his broken knuckles let out a painful crack. Even the pain didn't alert him from the nightmare.

Erik was shaking, and he begged Charles to wake up. His miserable pleas echoed inside his own head, but he got no answer. Erik blamed himself for ever leaving Charles alone in the first place. This was his fault, and Charles was gone, and _Mein Gott_ what could he do? What was there to do? Charles would be gone forever, and he would never grow old, and Raven had shot him in the head, and everything was lost. Lost. Gone. Destroyed. Erik's panic deepened and was very quickly getting out of hand.

_Erik!_

Erik was trembling, and he couldn't breathe properly, and his eyes and lungs were burning._ Charles!" _he called in panic, and Erik felt like he was drowning deeper and deeper into the dreams and their insanity.

_Erik! I'm here. I'm right here. You're having a nightmare._

Erik was breathing too quickly, and his ribs felt like they could give in any moment. But Erik could still see Charles' blood pouring down the white mansion walls, and bits of his brain spattered there, and Erik felt sick and he couldn't breathe.

_Erik! Calm down! You're only dreaming. It's not real._

Erik wanted to believe that more than anything, but when he reached for the link instinctively inside his mind, he only found torn ends that were still hanging there, broken and unconnected. Charles was gone, _gone_, and there was no link and no presence and Erik was horribly alone, and it was too quiet except the mute screaming inside his head.

_Erik, wake up! Wake up! I'm fine, and I'm right here with you._

And then Erik felt himself distantly being shaken, and suddenly he felt like he was emerging from deep abyss and he snapped his eyes open. Erik couldn't see anything, and he was breathing so hard and so quickly that he felt dizzy, and the room spun and his eyes didn't adjust. Erik's ribs ached and his knuckles were hurting, and his mouth opened to scream but couldn't produce any sound, because he couldn't catch his breath.

There was a screeching sound in the room, but Erik barely heard it. He was just sinking deeper into panic, and everything felt unreal. He didn't recognize where he was or why, only thing that mattered was that Charles was _gone_.

-Erik! I'm right here. Look at me. Hey. Look at me," Charles' demanding and hasty voice said, but Erik's brain didn't register it.

In the end, Charles just took Erik's face into his hands and yanked it closer to himself, forcing Erik to look at him. But even when Erik's eyes landed on Charles, he couldn't understand who he was actually seeing.

For a few seconds, Erik could only hear his own ragged breaths filling the room.

-Look. I'm right here." Charles said aloud, but his voice was now softer, soothing. He looked at Erik carefully, trying to give a weak smile, even if it came out as worried. -And you need to calm down, Erik. You're breathing too quickly." he said, glancing at the direction of Erik's wounded ribs. Erik blinked, and swallowed, and tried to make sense what was real and what was not.

_You're dead. You're dead_, Erik thought in horror.

A pained look flashed on Charles' face. -No, Erik, I'm _not_. I'm right here with you. You just had a nightmare."

Erik stared back at him, eyes blurring a little. _They shot you. _His chest was crippled with sorrow.

Charles shook his head furiously. -No they didn't. They_ didn't_. I'm fine." He gasped air quickly in, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, like he was trying to concentrate. -Erik, you're projecting. Your...your emotions all over the place. So just...calm down. Everything is alright."

Erik squeezed his eyes shut too, his chest suddenly stabbed with millions knives of grief. The pain in his ribs could not compare to it in any way. He felt disoriented, and like the sorrow was about to crush him. _But...but you are gone._

Charles seemed to grow a bit afraid now too, since his voice was suddenly a lot more desperate and tearful. -Erik. Please listen. Snap out of this."

Erik just kept breathing hard, swallowing several times. He realized distantly that he had been reacting to the fear instinctively with his powers, and he could feel metal humming to him and his agony, screeching somewhere further away. -Erik," Charles hissed, now alerted.

And as a last resort, Charles suddenly gripped Erik's face tighter and just entered into his mind.

_Click._

Just like that, Erik's whole panic lost its sharpness. His mind recognized Charles, and there was no way he could mistake it. Erik felt his own awareness almost caressing Charles' presence, pulling it in posessively and protectively. Erik felt how even the faintest connection numbed his fears and started to bring him back to reality. _I'm here. I'm right here, _Charles whispered to his mind, and sent a rush of comfort towards Erik, soothing his inner turmoil.

Slowly, Erik felt like he could breathe again, and started to calm down. His ribs felt like they were about to give in.

Long minutes passed.

Erik's panic dulled down and he could now make a difference between his dreams and the real world, even if the vivid claws of the nightmare were still haunting him a little. He slowly opened his eyes in the dark room, and found Charles looking at him warily, worry radiating from him. His hands were still on each side of Erik's face, and his presence still stayed right at the edge of Erik's mind, like he was too afraid to leave and risk Erik spiraling back into panic. Erik's eyes slided to the swollen bruise on Charles' cheek, and everything came back to him in great detail. The Chimera, the mansion, Raven, the gunshot - everything.

Erik felt suddenly ridiculous for lashing out so strongly because of a nightmare. He quickly rearranged his face into a more neutral one, even if the gesture was pretty useless when he had a telepath inside his head.

For a moment, Charles just observed him warily, like making sure Erik had truly grasped the real world. Then he spoke quietly: -Erik, can you now please put all the metal back in their places?"

Erik stared at him for a moment, and then glanced around. The air was filled with floating metal objects, and they hung eerily in the air. Some of them had been bended into misformed heaps, as if someone had stomped and bended them in a fit of rage. Erik bit his lip - he had been doing this far too often in the past few months. Erik didn't like his powers channeling his emotions and getting out of control like this.

Carefully, Erik pushed all of the metal objects further away so he wouldn't even risk hurting either Charles or himself, and then slowly lowered them to the floor. Some of them let out a soft_ thump_ as they fell down.

Charles nodded._ Thank you._

Erik found it ridiculous that even now, Charles didn't forget his manners. And that simple thought was enough to wake some of Erik's earlier emotions, and Erik dropped his head against the pillow, exhausted. It would be so much easier to not feel anything.

Charles relaxed visibly now that the imminent situation had clearly passed. There was a short moment when they just laid there, and their breathing was the only sound in the small room. Erik lifted his still shaking hands and grabbed Charles' wrists, pulling them next to his face. Then Erik just held them there in a light grip, feeling Charles' pulse beneath his fingertips. Charles could have easily pulled his arms away, but he didn't. He probably sensed Erik's odd need to have a constant reassurance that they were both really here.

Erik could feel Charles' eyes observing him, but Erik didn't mind. He didn't even bother trying to appear stoic and indifferent. It wasn't like he hadn't already exposed the intensity and vulnerability of his inner self already earlier that day. Not to mention that Charles had been in his head, and still partly was. Erik noted absent-mindedly that he had lost the ability to feel self-aware. He had lowered his defences around Charles, because he managed to get through them anyway, one way or another.

_Thum thum_, went the warm pulse in Charles' veins. Erik drowned himself into the sound and sensation. It was still the middle of the night, and it was dark and rainy, and right now Erik couldn't care less about the rest of the world.

He pushed himself just a bit closer to Charles as an instinct, so he could feel the warmth radiating from both of their bodies.

It was truly peculiar how such a simple thing could make Erik feel satisfied. Maybe it was because he was too familiar with corpses.

_I'm sorry I caused this_, Charles said quietly to Erik. He sighed._ I wish there had been some other way to..._

_Charles_, Erik interrupted, tired. He didn't want to hear Charles blaming himself. _You're alive. That's what matters._

Charles looked like he was about to continue, but then didn't say anything. Instead, he just let his head fall back to the pillow.

They were quiet for a long while. Charles' pulse slowed down a little, as the fright Erik had caused was melting away. Without the link, Erik couldn't hear any of Charles' telepathy, not even the distant white noise of it - even if Charles must have had so much voices inside his head coming from the city outside.

The rain tapped the windows.

_Will you be able to sleep, Erik?_, Charles asked with a distantly worried tone.

Erik felt ridiculous that he needed to be asked that, that he had woken both of them up with his nightmares. He briefly wondered how loudly he must have had been projecting. He took one more calming breath. _Yes._

But then he hesitated, because he knew his answer had conditions. Erik flickered his eyes to Charles. _As long as...as you're here._

Erik didn't even know what he was actually referring to - to Charles being in the same room, on the same bed, or inside his mind, or alive in general. Maybe all of them. The thought of him gone in any of those ways felt wrong to Erik.

_I'm not going anywhere_, Charles said. There was a slight pause. _Besides, the hotel doesn't have an elevator either. So I couldn't leave even if I tried, _he half-joked, even if there wasn't that much joy in his tone. Erik didn't answer, even if he appreciated the effort to lighten the mood.

Erik shifted his head closer to Charles'. But even if he spent a long time in silence, he knew he wouldn't be able to get any sleep for awhile - his thoughts were swirling restlessly. So finally, Erik broke the silence. _How did you do it?_

Charles' confusion brushed Erik's mind._ Do what?_

Erik shrugged weakly, and the sheets rustled under him. _Accepted that Hank was gone._

Erik felt a wave of deep sorrow from Charles, and Erik felt bad for causing it, but he really needed to hear this. Charles was quiet for a long time, until took a careful breath._ I had no other choice, Erik._

Erik could feel his own earlier helplessness and fear bubbling under his weak calmness. He hadn't had to deal with grief as strong as today since...since his mother. Since the camps. Erik had almost forgotten how it felt to care so much about something that it hurt to lose it. _But...but Hank was with you all this time. For years._

_Yes, he was. But there was nothing I could have done, and I've had to accept that. And Hank...Hank protected me until his dying breath. Even in_ _the labs, he..." _  
Charles' telepathic voice broke a little. He had to pause for a moment until he continued:_  
I can never repay him that, or tell him how much his friendship meant to me. How much I owe him for taking care of me during those dark years back in the mansion. I wish I could. I truly wish I could. You don't even...You don't even know what pits he lifted me from, Erik. What he had to witness. What he had to put up with. You wouldn't probably even believe me if I told you to. _

Erik watched as Charles' eyes suddenly glistened in the darkness, and he blinked hard._ I miss him so much, Erik. You can't even imagine how much._

Erik felt suddenly intrusive, and pushy. This sorrow wasn't his to share. It wasn't his right to ask. Erik felt suddenly ashamed for bringing it up. Erik tried to instantly bury his own brutal memories of Hank's tortured body hanging from the ceiling, because Erik didn't want Charles to see it from his mind. Nobody deserved a fate like that. Erik hurried to say something, so he comforted Charles in the only way he knew: -We will revenge his death. We will make sure he didn't die for nothing."

Dull surprise crossed Charles' face and he let out a hollow chuckle. -Oh, Erik..." he mumbled. He looked suddenly tired. _Don't you know any other way to deal with pain than violence? _

Erik opened his mouth to answer, but realized he really didn't know what to say.

Charles observed him, and a shadow of hurt flashed his face. When Erik still didn't say anything, he could feel a spike of Charles' irritation and anger transferring through their telepathic connection_. But this is the problem, isn't it? When it comes down to it. You...you almost killed Raven today._

Charles looked like he almost regretted mentioning this, like as if he was trying to be sensitive about Erik's recent shock and nightmares, but just couldn't hold it back. He looked away and shook his head, like trying to shake himself out of the anger that had been awakened inside of him. Charles took a calming breath:_ I'm sorry, this is not the right time to..._

Erik felt utterly calm when he stared back at Charles and interrupted him. -I'm not sorry." he said honestly. Charles blinked in surprise, and turned to look at Erik. Erik met his gaze steadily. -I feel no guilt of anything that I did to Raven. None."

Shock spread to Charles' face and he drew a shuddering breath. At first, he looked like he was about say something, or to argue, but stopped himself in the last minute. Instead, he studied Erik's face and expression for a long while, as if he was truly trying to understand how Erik could think that. Then slowly, he turned to look vulnerable, and there was a fragile sadness on his face._ I can't make sense of you, Erik._ _I just...don't understand._

Erik raised a tired eyebrow. Charles' skin was bathing in the dim blue light coming from the windows.

Charles' face changed from curious, to pained and then torn. _I'm really trying to understand you, Erik, I really am, but I can't. The way you reacted today...The sheer amount of grief...And protectiveness...I don't know what to think about it._

Erik looked away, now nervousness suddenly spiking in him.

Charles kept staring at him, like as if he could find answers from Erik's face. _You don't act logically. You make it seem like you are indifferent to people dying around you, but today you almost killed everyone in the mansion just because you thought I was gone._

Erik opened his mouth in surprise, then closed it again. There was a stunned moment - it seemed impossible to Erik that Charles still couldn't wrap his head around this. Erik's grip around Charles' wrists tightened. Erik snapped his gaze back at Charles, almost pleading. -You really don't get it, do you?" he asked in frustration.

Charles observed Erik like a puzzle he was trying to solve. _No, Erik, I really don't. What happened today...I was...I was so angry at you for hurting Raven. For a moment I feared that you would really kill her - not that I would have let you, despite the fact that I would have had to reveal the illusion - but I could hear some of your thoughts. There was so much hatred. Even if Raven had no power over her actions. She was controlled by the Chimera, just like I was back in the labs. But you were still ready to kill her for what she did._

-She _shot_ you!" Erik hissed, suddenly anger and his earlier fears sparking into life. -I saw her _murdering_ you!"

Charles looked almost desperate. _But she wasn't in her right mind. And you knew that._

Erik bit his lip hard. He could still remember how good it had felt to hurt her. -I was so angry." he said through his teeth, his rage almost flooding back to him. -You were _gone_." Erik whispered defensively. He wasn't about to back away from this argument. No matter how well Erik knew that Charles wouldn't like what he was about to say, Erik felt like he needed to say it anyway. -You must understand this, Charles. Even now, if Raven as much as laid a finger on you, I _would_ break her neck. Brainwashed or not. And I wouldn't feel guilty. Not at all."

Charles looked somewhat horrified. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. _How could you?"_ he asked, astonished.

Erik felt calm as he looked back at him. -Easily."

Charles shook his head, gasping for air angrily. _But how? How could you? You've known her for_ years, _Erik._

Erik stared back at Charles intensely. -This has nothing to do with Raven. She could have been anyone." Erik answered honestly. It seemed impossible that Charles still didn't understand the basic way Erik's mind worked, even if he had been inside of it several times. And Erik almost felt nervous for admitting the obvious, of realizing where this conversation was going - to address the very thing that had driven them apart all those years ago.

Charles looked disbelieving. _But that doesn't make any sense, Erik. How could you beat her and be ready to end her life without hesitation? You have a heart, despite what they say about you. I know you do._

Erik dropped his gaze, fidgeting his fingers nervously. -Like I said, Raven could have been anyone. I wouldn't have cared if she had just been another mutant, or a human. What matters was the fact that she dared to hurt _you_."

Charles shook his head, not even trying to hide his disbelief and anger. -But she is my sister! And you knew that, even back in Cuba, when you took her away from me. You knew how much I care about her. And I thought you cared about her too, Erik - you spent _ten years_ with her. But you only agreed to spare her life back at the mansion because I asked you to."

Erik nodded. -Yes. And if you hadn't made me promise that, I would have killed her if the situation called for it."

Charles was now radiating pent-up anger, clearly trying to hold himself back. _You shouldn't be able to do that without any remorse._

Erik let out a sad huff. _Yet it seems_ _that is the case. _

Charles was getting really angry now. _How can you choose not to care about her? How can you act so coldly towards her when she is a victim of the Chimera as much as I am?_

Erik shook his head, and almost looked at Charles with pity. -I didn't choose not to care about her. She had become an obstacle, and she tried to hurt you. Those were enough reasons to get her out of the way."

Charles' eyes were burning with endless frustration now. Erik suddenly caught the feeling that they had finally reached something very essential, that this conversation had been lurking right beneat the surface for a very long time betweeen them. But surprisingly, Charles wasn't trying to shut Erik out, or throw any sarcastic and cold comments at him - he clearly was really trying to understand.

Charles' eyes had gotten their familiar passionate shade in them, and despite how many times Erik had wished that look wouldn't have been directed at him, he could now only wait in anticipation what Charles had to say. This conversation was much more honest that they had in years.

-How can you act so cold when I've seen how caring you can be?" Charles finally breathed out. -I have felt your pain, Erik, and your guilt, and they are so strong. You have so much of it. You do care, I know you do. Just the amount of grief I felt during your nightmare a moment ago was stronger than a lot of people can ever even produce."

Erik bit his lip. Charles spread his hands a little, even if his wrists were still in Erik's grip. _So why don't you expand that to Raven, or other people?_ _Why, Erik? You're not a machine - I know that for certain. When I'm with you, you're broadcasting so much strong emotions that are coming somewhere deep inside of you, and I even have problems blocking most of them._

Erik almost wanted to shout out in frustation - Charles was really that blind to the situation. He really didn't understand. Erik groaned. -For a telepath, you truly are surprisingly deaf and blind_, _Charles."

Charles looked like he was trying to calm himself down, like he had to remind himself that he wasn't trying to pick a fight or blame Erik, just really understand his actions. Charles took a long breath. _What do you mean, Erik?_

Erik hesitated. He swallowed slowly, but forced himself to talk. -It's very simple, really. I don't care about people. But I care about you."

Charles' brows furrowed in confusion. _I don't..._

Erik simply interrupted him: -Let me put it this way: I care about the future of the mutantkind. But I don't care about_ invidual_ mutants, because they are only ripples in the sea. It isn't hard for me to use even extreme ways to get what I want, and you know that, Charles. Even if I have known Raven for a while, and even if I had sentiment regarding her, it doesn't mean I wouldn't crush her like an ant if she got in my way, or if she endangered the mutantkind like she did with Trask."

Charles' eyes narrowed, and hurt filled his eyes._ If that's really true, then...if...if back in Paris, if I had been the one trying to kill Trask, what would you have done? _

Erik lifted an eyebrow. -You wouldn't have done that. You wouldn't have tried to murder Trask in the first place."

_Maybe not, but what if I had? Would you have tried to shoot me, too, Erik - like you tried to shoot Raven?_

Erik felt suddenly uncomfortable._ This is irrelevant. That's not what happened._

_Yet it is a very simple question, Erik. Would you have tried to shoot me or not, if I had swapped places with Raven?_

Erik felt increasing irritation. -That scenario would have never come true, because you would never shoot anyone in point blank range like that. Your famous morals and peaceful ways wouldn't have let you do that. So I would have never needed to make that decision." he said with finality. But Charles wasn't about to let it go.

_Yes, Erik, but what __**if.**__ What if I had, against all odds? You just said that you have no trouble hurting or killing people that get in your way. So what if I had been the one attacking Trask? Would you had shot me? _

Erik felt himself lashing out of control_. Of course not! _he hissed angrily.

Charles looked utterly confused. _But...why? Why is that, Erik? Why would you have done the right thing with me, but not with Raven?_ _Shouldn't your good will expand to other people, too? People you care about?_

Erik realized he was panting, and tried to gather himself back to control. -I don't care about other people."

_I do not believe that's true, Erik, _Charles replied sharply.

-But it is!" Erik hissed, his frustration growing every second. He shook his head and looked at Charles, pained. -You are trying to make me into some kind of soft, humane version of my true self. I'm not like that, Charles. I have killed people - manipulated, lied and murdered. And I don't feel ashamed to admit that. It shouldn't come as a surprise to you. I'm not as good as you would like me to be, Charles. I'm not like you. I have no problem with taking justice into my own hands. I only care about our cause, our war, our kind. Not people. People have only disappointed me."

Charles squeezed his eyes shut for a while, like he was barely containing his frustation too. -But you have so much good in you! You are not a monster, Erik. No matter what they say. No matter what you even believe." Charles panted, and old desperation shone from his eyes. Suddenly his voice dropped to an almost whisper.

-I wish I could hate you," he said with an unsteady voice. -I...I I truly wish I could. It would make everything a lot easier." Erik could only blink in surprise for the sudden, raw honesty he was facing.

Charles looked at Erik like he was trapped. -But I can't, because I know better - I have felt your pain, and I have felt something else too. Hope, and empathy, and the need to protect. Good things. Bright things. I can't even name all of the things I've sensed from you, but I can tell for certain that those things are very strong. They might be somewhere deep, but they are there nonetheless. You might choose odd moments to show them, I admit, but you can still reach for them." Charles turned to look more softer, and he looked at Erik almost gently.

-You are not too far gone to change your ways. You are_ not_ a lost cause. I believe you have every chance to be the better man. Even until now, you have been doing all the bad things for right reasons; I saw it in your mind. And that's what matters. That's why I still believe in you."

Erik blinked, and his mouth fell open. Charles looked so passionate, like he was teaching a small child, like he hoped for nothing more than to be proved right. Like Charles expected Erik to say that everything he had just said was correct, that the great Magneto wasn't a cold killing robot after all. But Erik could only stare, and felt a rush of mixed emotions - affection, frustration and hurt. Then Some of Erik's mood turned sour and his face bleak, because he couldn't agree with Charles' hopefulness. Erik sighed and brushed the skin on Charles' wrists as a comforting gesture.

-Oh, Charles..." he mumbled. He felt a sting of bittersweet sadness. -As much as you'd like me to change, I'm not going to. That's not the reason I would have killed Raven, or why I almost tore the mansion down. There's no way I can see how your way of doing things could ever resolve things, either."

Erik tilted his head, furrowing his brows a little. -I truly thought that all these years, after all these tragedies and wrongs the humans have caused in your life, you would see that peace and kindness is not the answer. Even if I now understand you better, and I know why you'd never change people by altering their minds, I still can't lay down my own weapons and turn a blind eye."

Erik tried to ignore all of his old grudges resurfacing. He hesitated and hovered in his place, knowing he should continue. It was the moment of truths, after all. But he suddenly felt increasingly nervous. His voice became quieter and more unstable. -But all this, it has nothing to do with the fact why I would never hurt you like I did with Raven. Can't you see? I won't hurt you, Charles, because even if I needed to, I'm not _able_ to. Even in Cuba, it was a horrible accident that happened. I never wanted to...I never intended to cause you pain. And had it been you that was trying to kill Trask in Paris, I wouldn't have shot you. I wouldn't have even entertained the idea. Because...because..."

Erik felt like his breath was knocked away, and he almost felt a physical pain in his chest when he tried to make Charles understand. And even now, Erik could see Charles was not getting it - he didn't understand what Erik was trying to say.

Erik's heart ached, but in a fully different way than before.

-Charles - you are the_ exception_." Erik finally breathed out. -To everything. Always. None of my normal rules can be applied to you." he confessed, his voice unstable. _Don't you finally see?_

Charles' eyes widened a little, and he just stared Erik. He was quiet for a long while, several emotions crossing his face. _But...but why?_

Erik let out a pained chuckle - it was unbelievable how unperspective Charles was about so many things. Erik just shook his head. -I don't know. I don't even know, Charles." Erik didn't even necessarily want to say the next thing, but his thoughts worked way too fast for him to quiet them down._ But it's almost shocking how far I would be willing to go to keep you out of harm's way._

Erik hurried to get a grip from his own mind before it bled too much information. Instead, he talked aloud. -I...can not _not_ care. And believe me, I did try during those long years in prison. You..." But then, Erik's voice faded, when he tried to find words that could explain what had been building up inside him for such a long time now.

Charles' eyes looked even bluer here in the night light, and Erik felt like he could drown in them. Once again, he felt so glad in a passing thought that Charles was here, that he was alive, and nobody could take him away. Erik searched for words, but all of them seemed to fail them.

_-Ich verstehe das nicht_," Erik mumbled. Because he truly did not understand. He couldn't explain. He looked at Charles, helpless.

-What are you trying to say?" Charles asked carefully, patiently.

Erik sighed. He couldn't name the feeling, he couldn't map out how it even worked. Charles made him feel so different, so unlike himself, and Erik didn't even know how. Charles brought so many sides out of Erik that he didn't even realize he still had. He made Erik raw and open, without trying to. He made Erik almost _addicted_, because Erik couldn't leave - even if he did, he would keep coming back.

In the end, Erik just gave up and shifted himself slightly closer to Charles. Charles looked at him warily, like he wasn't sure what Erik was about to do.

Erik felt a painful, icy needle in his heart - maybe Charles didn't share this odd bond. Maybe that's why he couldn't understand what Erik was trying to say. Maybe Charles wasn't so wrapped around Erik as Erik was to him - maybe Charles still held on to their old anger and grudges, unable to forgive. Erik wondered if he was alone with his confusing, unexplained emotions, and Charles being so kind and open was just the way he was. With everybody. But even then, when Erik thought about that possibility, he didn't spiral into anger and rage like he usually did. He just realized that it wouldn't even matter - it wouldn't change the fact that Erik had become like a moth to a flame. Charles was like a beacon in the darkness, and Erik was drawn to the flames. No matter how much the light would burn him.

Because just having Charles in the world made Erik feel less alone.

Erik wasn't a stranger to selfish decisions, but right at that moment, he couldn't be selfish. Or maybe, in a certain way, he was, for staying here, for craving closeness and intimacy. But the end result was still the same - Erik had lost this fight for good, and he could admit his defeat. And right at that moment, he realized it with more clarity than ever before.

So Erik pushed himself quietly closer and Charles didn't pull away, even if he easily could have - no matter how posessively Erik was still holding his wrists and how his thumbs were pressed against the steady, warm pulse there.

_We will take down Chimera, Charles,_ Erik promised, dropping his gaze. He carefully avoided the earlier subject.

Before Charles could protest, Erik continued. _Together. And...I'm willing to do it your way, if you want me to. Just as long as I can make sure that none of us are in danger._

Charles clearly startled for hearing that. His surprised breaths bounced back from Erik's cheek.

_Erik..._

Erik cherished the way Charles called his name - he could still remember how close it had come that his voice could have been silenced forever. Erik had a sudden epiphany about the situation - it didn't even matter what Charles would say next - if he asked Erik to do something, Erik would probably do it without hesitation. It also didn't matter what would happen afterwards, or how they would go on from here.

Even if Charles would say that he had been with Erik all this time just because he circumstances had demanded it, it wouldn't matter. For some reason, Erik could hear his mother's words from a very old memory: _You always break your toys, my dear,_ she had told him once. Erik had been so young, and had claimed that he rather broke his toys than let anyone else have them. He hadn't had a lot, after all. Erik could suddenly remember with haunting clarity how he had torn the limbs off of them - arms and legs - or then he had twisted them to be useless. It was almost disturbing to realize the parallels - that he was also the one who had broken Charles' spine, as if he was Erik's most dearest toy. Maybe he was, in a way._You destroy everything you touch_, Shaw had whispered to Erik as they had thrown his mother's corpse into a ditch and pointed a blaming finger to Erik. _So learn not to care, _Shaw had said, and walked away.

And despite how much Erik still hated Shaw, he had to admit that Shaw had been right. Nothing or nobody came to Erik willingly, so he had just always taken them without permission. And he had never grown attached - Shaw had taught him well.

And it had been all good. It had been easy. They could do all they wanted to Erik - break his bones, lock him up, torture him - and yet they couldn't really hurt him. Because how do you hurt someone who has nothing to lose? Who doesn't care about anything?

So now, Erik could feel fear lurking at the deepest parts of his mind. Because he could keep telling himself nothing had changed, that he was still untouchable - but couldn't believe his own lies.

Charles' fingers landed softly on Erik's jaw, and pushed his face up. Erik fluttered his eyelids fully open, and Charles was just so close that it made sparks fly in Erik's brain. Erik thought Charles would turn his offer down to take out the Chimera, but instead, Charles looked utterly grateful.

_Thank you, Erik,_ Charles said, his voice filled with almost overwhelming emotions. For a moment, Erik could only observe himself in disbelief - that he was so defenceless, so pitiful when it came to Charles. That out of all people, one kind-hearted telepath had more power over him that nobody else in the whole world. It was pathethic, really. But it was even more pathetic that Erik couldn't bring himself to fight back.

Charles looked so grateful for having Erik's new promise about trying more peaceful methods - his enthusiasm was almost child-like. Erik could distantly sense Charles' mind buzzing with relief and joy.

Then Charles let out a hesitant, small smile, studying Erik. _Maybe there's hope for us, after all._

Erik swallowed hard, hating how his face was so unmasked and open, but at the same time, couldn't help himself. Erik stared back, chest churning with affection, pain and yearning.

And Charles' smile widened a little and felt like it could burn Erik's retinas._ I will help you taking down the Chimera, Erik. We'll do it together._

Normally Erik would have felt the need to specify that he was ready to take any means necessary, but now he felt like he had no right to do it - because it was as if he was given a second chance. A chance, that after ten years of hurt and unresolved anger, guilt and mistrust and countless people dying - it felt like a gift greater than Erik could have ever wished for. He was ready to make amends. He was, in fact, ready to do anything at all. Just because Charles had promised to at least try and forgive Erik, and try to work together and mend the rest of the broken things between them. Maybe Charles was right - maybe there was still true hope for them. And for the first time in years, Erik actually believed it to be true.

In the end, Erik just nodded as a reply, because he didn't trust his voice.

Erik promised himself that he would make sure that not even a branch of the Chimera survived. They would work together, Charles and him - like their older counterparts had in the future. They could start tomorrow, maybe, or the day after that. But not just yet. This night, this dark and rainy night was sacred. It was too late to start making plans, and Erik felt no need to be anywhere else.

The Chimera could wait. Brotherhood too.

Erik felt like he would have needed to explain, or ask for permission for the next thing, but he couldn't find any words. He feared that he would wake up again because of another terrible nightmare, so he refused to lose the reassurance that Charles was truly alive. So slowly, Erik let his arm curl closer to Charles, watching Charles' reaction all the time - but Charles didn't stop him, as Erik narrowd the distance between them, almost to a half-embrace. It didn't matter to Erik that he would probably wake up with Charles' ridiculously long hair on his face, or that he was being so openly needy. All that mattered was the fact they were both here, and alive, and together.

And for the first time in a very, very long time, Erik felt like he wasn't running into a wall over and over again. Like the dead-end that they had faced for years had been slightly crumbled. What it exactly meant or what it would evolve into, Erik didn't know. He just cherished it the idea.

Because right now, in that dusty small room and the heavy rain outside, everything felt alright.

So Erik just let his face fall into the pillow, and partly into Charles' hair.

Whether Charles let him do it because he knew Erik needed this to be able to sleep, or for some reason of his own, he didn't voice it. His pulse seemed just slightly quicker under Erik's fingertips, but it also could have been a figment of Erik's imagination.

The small bed didn't feel that small at all.

For a long time, Erik just listened as Charles' breathing slowed down, how his warm breaths became more regular against Erik's shoulder. His vague presence from Erik's mind disappeared, but this time Erik let it. He was, after all, holding Charles so close that even his traumatized mind knew Charles was right there and alive despite the lack of the telepathic connection. He could feel Charles' heartbeat through the thin skin, so it was alright. He was alive. They both were.

Charles fell asleep after some time, but Erik stayed awake a little longer, listening both the rain and the warm thumming in the wrists he was still holding. The faint and ridiculous scent of apples accompanied him.

Erik glanced at Charles' cheek right next to his own face, and then turned his eyes to stare at the far wall.

_Gott helfe mir_, he thought, before he squeezed his eyes shut.


	23. Chapter 23

When grey morning light stirred Erik from his sleep, he felt reasonably rested. He fortunately hadn't had any other nightmares.

Erik blinked his eyes slowly open - the light stung, but most of all, Erik vaguely realized something important was missing. Like there was something disturbing right at the edge of his awareness, but he couldn't put his finger on it in the fuzzy state he was still in.

When Erik finally remembered where he was, he also saw that the bed and pillow next to him were empty. Only faint morning light hit the sheets, and Erik's hands twitched automatically to find something - or someone - who wasn't there.

_I'm right here, Erik", _came Charles' distant voice to Erik's mind, right at the same time as Erik felt the first rush of fear and pushed himself to sit, all kinds of violent scenarios and possibilities running through his head. Erik turned hastily his head and spotted Charles further away on the room, sitting next to the window, head turned away to look outside.

Erik let out a quiet sigh of relief and sagged his shoulders, his alerted senses already dulling down.

For a few seconds, Erik's body and mind settled into the dusty hotel room, and into the situation itself.

And then he also had time to think about his seemingly automatic reaction to find Charles missing from his side, and felt a little bothered by how quickly he had startled. There was something predatory in the way he had been just about to lash out, to find any threat that might have been there to endanger them. It was...odd.

In the end, Erik forced himself to ignore that train of thought and turned his attention to the situation at hand instead.

Erik looked up and stared at Charles for a while, calming down by every second. Charles looked like he had been up for a while now, but Erik had lost the track of time in the midst of the chaos yesterday.

Dust danced slowly in the air around Charles, and his hair bathed in grey daylight. The scene almost looked hauntingly artistic - frozen, serene, picturesque. Erik sat up straigher, and the room fell into silence.

It had clearly stopped raining, at least for the time being, even if Erik could still spot some heavy clouds hanging from the window Charles was sitting in front of.

Erik ran a hand through his hair - suddenly confused by how natural, how _alright_ the whole moment felt. The hotel room was far from tidy or new, and there were so many old books and yellow newspapers and dust that they made the air smell a bit stuffy. But Erik didn't really mind. He had spent enough time in a too-white padded cell and surgically clean environment with endless amount of plastic and bright lights - so dim and dusty seemed just fine for him. And it wasn't really about the room - Erik didn't care. His attention was drawn next to the window, as if his eyes were glued there.

Charles tilted his head a little, and leant his face against his hand. He seemed to be deep in his thoughts, but with their link broken, Erik had no idea what Charles was thinking about - not even the mood he was in. It was frustrating, because Erik had gotten so used to the link between their minds and getting at least some leakage and information from Charles' end, even if it had been just vague sensations and emotions.

The broken link still felt like an unhealed wound somewhere inside Erik's head - as if the torn tendrils were still aching for their counterparts, refusing to recover and go back to normal. And what was even normal, now? Erik had had a taste of something too good to be completely the same as before. For so many years, he had worn his helmet and had been almost paranoid about being telepathically untouchable and having a complete silence and privacy inside his head. Now he craved the opposite. No matter how much Erik had always denied the claim that he mostly used the helmet because of Charles, somewhere deep down he had always known that there was just a bit too much truth in that.

Erik briefly imagined having their telepathic link back, and had to shove his uncertain excitement for the idea down. He was not going to bring it up. It had been originally just a way to keep Charles alive, to use it as a lifeline of sort. What could Erik even say - that he...missed it? That the absense of the link was constantly hanging at the back of his thoughts?

No.

This was going to be the end of it.

Instead, Erik studied Charles, still trying to guess what he was thinking. But Erik had no clue, because he couldn't even see Charles' face from this angle. In the end, he just had to voice his question.

-What are you thinking about?" Erik asked. His own voice sounded hoarse from the misuse.

Charles hesitated for a moment before he answered. -Raven."

Erik's face twisted into a bleak frown. His anger towards her still hadn't dulled down, no matter how well he knew that she had been brainwashed. Erik was certain that he would carry the image of her shooting Charles into the head for the rest of his life, no matter how much it had been an illusion.

Charles let out a long sigh. -I hate the fact that she is somewhere out there, thinking she truly took my life."

-Serves her right," Erik mumbled, but Charles turned his head and threw him such a sharp look that Erik that had to silence whatever he was going to say next. Charles' eyes flashed in irritation.

-No, Erik, it's not right. She must be feeling absolutely horrible and guilty. Not to mention that she has a lot of painful injuries."

Erik stopped himself from shrugging indifferently. Instead, he sat still and dropped his eyes to the sheets in front of him. -She'll survive. Her mutation makes her heal faster anyway." Erik said, in a poor attempt to comfort Charles.

Charles nodded. -True. But I think that her emotional scars run deeper than the physical ones. She would have never hurt me in her right mind." He turned to look back at the window. -Even if she left me behind once already," Charles said so quietly that Erik barely caught it.

Erik felt an ugly sting in his chest, an he drew an intense gaze at Charles. His voice was stronger than before when he talked aloud: -Don't let that fool you into thinking she stopped caring about you altogether."

The moment Erik had gotten the words out of his mouth, he almost regretted them, because it was obvious that he wasn't really talking about Raven now. Charles turned to look at Erik again, clearly catching some of the undertones of his words. Charles opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. His eyes scanned Erik, and for a moment it felt like he was about to say something he had been holding back for a long time - but then he turned away again and Erik could feel Charles' attention slipping into the distance again.

-I wish I could let her know that I'm alright," Charles muttered. -Letting her grieve and punish herself is cruel, even if there's nothing we can do about it."

Erik didn't miss the way Charles said 'we'. He felt oddly satisfied to hear it.

-She can learn the truth later," Erik stated. -After we've destroyed the Chimera. Right now, letting everyone think that you...you were shot at the mansion..." Erik hated how his voice still faltered a little while mentiong the whole thing. -...it's an advantage. They are not chasing you."

Charles let out a humorless huff. -Maybe I should stay dead longer, then."

Erik sat more comfortably on top of the bed. -Too bad we can't be dead together." he said as he adjusted his legs. -Maybe if you had shot me too yesterday with your tricks." he joked grimly.

-Hilarious, Erik." Charles said dryly, but Erik still couldn't help his own lips tugging a little, and he had to drop his eyes from Charles to arrange his face into neutrality.

There was a small silence, and Erik got more serious. Erik could still sense Charles' sadness over Raven's current fate, and as much as Erik didn't feel like talking about her right now, he couldn't stand Charles blaming himself for her guilt. -We will let her know when the time comes." Erik said, trying to sound both assuring and patient - but he couldn't resist rolling his eyes a little. -Can't wait to have her all over you and weeping for hours to come. You'll love it."

-Don't mock her pain, Erik," Charles said, unamused. -Especially when you almost tore the mansion into bits yesterday yourself."

Erik opened his mouth, but no words came out. There wasn't really anything he could say to that.

They fell into silence again.

Some time passed, and the light increased in the room.

-I would like to go and see Leap," Charles finally said aloud, and surprised Erik with his words. Erik hadn't given that much thought to the young teleporter after the doctors had assured that he would be alright. Then again, of course Charles would be worried about him. Erik felt a rush of mixed frustration and affection - Charles' ability to care really seemed to be endless. It was ridiculous.

-He's fine. And probably sedated." Erik said.

-Very likely, yes. But I would still like to check on him. His abilities saved our lives, after all - and I almost got him killed by using them."

Erik almost wanted to bury his face into his hands. -Don't say you're blaming yourself for that, too," he said in a desperate tone. He shook his head. -It was a last resort, Charles. And you didn't just save our lives, you saved _his_ too."

-His heart stopped, Erik."

-And they restarted it." Erik said, spreading his hands. -No harm done."

Charles turned to look at Erik, tired resistance in his eyes. He was clearly about to argue, but Erik quickly lifted his hand in a halting gesture in the air and spoke: -Don't. The main thing is - he will get better. You can express your...gratitude or whatever it is - later if you truly want to. Right now, showing our faces anywhere in public isn't that much of a good idea. And you know that too."

Obviously Charles knew that, because the fight faded from his face._ You're right," _he sent to Erik, so deeply in his thoughts that he seemed to startle when he noticed he hadn't actually talked aloud. -Sorry, that was..." he looked apologetically to Erik. -Intruding."

Erik lifted an eyebrow. -Intruding?" he said, disbelieving. -I had you in my head for several weeks, Charles. When you woke up in the hospital, you thought we were the _same person, _and took control of my limbs at times." he said meaningfully, but without any accusation in his tone, just trying to make a point.

Erik's expression softened. -So by all means." he said and waved his hand towards his own head.

Vague confusion crossed Charles' face, until a ghost of a smile played on his lips. _Out of all people, Erik, you're telling me that. _

Erik hated how hearing that stung a little. -You shouldn't be so surprised." he said more vulnerably than he had intended, and Charles tilted his head carefully, his eyes already scanning Erik's face. Erik hurried to continue and avoid approaching the subject. -Too bad I have to keep on talking aloud," Erik said hastily, and instantly cursed himself for saying that. He wasn't actually sure how much Charles could hear him at times - with the link, Erik had been able to send thoughts so easily forward, it had felt natural. Now, there was just silence between them. No buzz or hum of the link, no shared sensations. Just distance. And silence.

-You know, I'm trying my hardest to block you and give you privacy, Erik." Charles said in a serious tone.

Erik nodded, and Charles clearly tried to read him without actually reading his mind. _But sometimes you're projecting," _he sent quietly.

Erik felt slightly nervous to hear that, since he couldn't be sure exactly _what_ he was projecting. He fidgeted his fingers and felt the need to clear his throat. The moment suddenly felt a bit too intimate despite their physical distance - Charles' eyes were fixed on Erik's face, and Erik felt squirmy under that gentle but firm gaze. It was odd, since Erik had stared back at the most dangerous and intimidating humans during his interrogations and prison sentence, but none of those supposedly powerful people had been able to make him even twitch. Erik had just stared back at them, right into the eyes, with a cold mask on his face, and it hadn't even taken him any effort. He had never been afraid of them. They had never stared him down. So it absolutely made no sense why one small telepath could make Erik feel like he should run out of the room - and without any telepathy used on him.

Erik bit his lip.

Charles just tilted his head as if some of Eriks' thoughts were written on his face, and suddenly gave a weak smile.

Erik froze for a moment and just stared, because Charles didn't smile too often nowadays, but every time he did, it made Erik's stomach tighten - but not in an uncomfortable way. The daylight hit Charles' face from the side, and for a moment Erik was just lost, taking in the sight, feeling suddenly surreal that after all these years, they could be in the same room without having the air instantly feeling poisoned and heavy. There was something else instead. Whatever it was, it had never lost its intensity, just morphed slowly into something new. Erik still couldn't make out the exact shades of it, but he could feel it, almost prickling like electricity. Almost like the magnetic fields he could control - even if whatever it was here, Erik couldn't control it. He couldn't explain it, or make sense of it, but it was there.

And in a sudden clarity, Erik realized he didn't even care where they physically were. The city, the hotel room...it was meaningless. Or what the time or day it was.

It was all good. It was all...secondary.

Erik felt...he didn't even know what he felt. It wasn't peace, because his mind and body were far too alerted and awake for that. They were just pulsating with too much thoughts and sensations to be described peaceful. And Erik could feel in too much detail how the air rolled in and out of his lungs.

Maybe this is how people felt when they were_ not_ angry or lonely. The two things Erik had always been during his life, as long as he could remember.

But if he wasn't angry or lonely, what else could he be? Could he even feel something else besides them?

Erik didn't know. He wouldn't know what to do. Anger was easy, and logical. It was like an armour.

But he wasn't angry now.

And he felt lost without it.

Erik blinked. The room was warm, and it felt too large and small at the same time. Erik's thoughts just swirled, but not in an angry rush like bees, more like...fireflies, blinking in and out, doing slow circles. Lights going growing strong and then fading. Erik almost felt like drawing Charles closer by the metal of his chair. It wouldn't have required more than just a small twitch of concentration, but Erik also felt reluctant to do it, to even really consider it. In his life, he had always just taken and taken, never asking permission, deciding things for other people, never really considering how they felt about it. But not with Charles. Once again, there was another thing where he couldn't apply his normal rules and logic to.

Oddly, Erik felt calm about it. An ugly small voice somewhere deep inside his mind whispered that maybe he had been tamed, that he had been broken and bent and forced to stay back, because that was the only way anyone could make Magneto to do anything. But then again, it was easy for Erik to silence that thought. Charles had never forced Erik to anything, never asked for a single thing. Not really. He hadn't even asked Erik to stay in Cuba. How ironic that in that way, Charles had somehow just made Erik more bound to him, in the end.

Charles' smile suddenly turned wider, and looked like he was trying to bit back a laugh. -Erik, I'm sorry, but as strange this might sound...Are you wishing to have our link back?"

Erik's stomach dropped a little, because he was so taken aback by the sudden question, and he was instantly filled with nervousness to answer, because Charles had hit a bit too close to home with that. Erik straightened his back and tried to look as neutral as ever.

His sudden change seemed to amuse Charles, as if he saw right through Erik's proud facade, since he smiled even more. It made it harder for Erik to look like he was indifferent about the issue. _Like I said, Erik, you're projecting at times_."

Erik cleared his throat. He tried to come up with a good answer. -Well, are you even able to build the link again? Without the same...conditions as before?"

Charles leant his chin against his hand. -Of course. The link was there for quite a long time, after all. Finding the connections is probably as easy as it is for you to lift a metal pen from the table."

There was a small silence, and Charles' expression turned slightly more worried. Erik felt the weakest nudge inside his head. -Your end of the link hasn't healed, Erik. At all. I can...sense it."

Erik turned his eyes away.

Charles sighed. -Probably because the link was too deep to be broken so suddenly. And naturally you don't have the tools or power to heal telepathic wounds, even if it might fix itself over time. So...if you really wish, Erik, I can make a lighter link between us for a while. Just to let your end heal properly - then I can remove it again. But only if you are alright with it."

Erik just nodded, trying to stop himself doing it too enthusiastically.

Charles looked puzzled for a moment. -Would you...would you like to get it done now? Or later?"

Erik bit the inside of his cheek and tried to shrug his shoulder casually. -Let's just get it done now."

Charles nodded and pushed himself closer, right next to the bed. He stopped his chair and started to arrange himself towards the bed. Erik felt somehow uncomfortable just sitting there and waiting. He lifted his hands to the air automatically, then dropped them again. While his guilt had eased a lot from before, it wasn't wholly gone - it would probably never be. Erik hesitated for a moment but then just gave up. -Just...let me." he mumbled and reached towards Charles, curled his arms around him and hoisted Charles easily up, and put him down on top of the bed in a swift motion.

Charles threw him an odd glance - not like he was really bothered, or surprised. Erik drew his arms away, and ignored how his skin felt tinkly for a moment. Momentarily, he wondered if he was being too pushy, or if he had crossed some boundary, but it wasn't like Erik hadn't carried Charles around a lot before this. There was a slightly tensed silence for a while, and Erik threw Charles a wary glance.

But then the odd look from Charles' face vanished as he clearly relaxed, and the strange moment was gone. Charles just lifted his legs into a better position with his hands and arranged them better on top of the bed. Erik watched him as they sat opposite of each other, wondering if he should move further away, but Charles didn't seem to mind the proximity. When Charles was done, he lifted his hands into the air slowly, questioningly. Erik just nodded several times - it was both infuriating and admirable that Charles asked permission always twice for things he already had a permission for.

Charles reached his hands towards Erik's temples and Erik held his breath for a moment as Charles' hands landed on both sides of his face. Charles leant closer, and in the morning light, Erik could make out every myriad shade of blue there was hiding in his eyes. When Charles' fingertips pressed lightly Erik's skin, he had to close his eyes because he felt like there was a sudden sensory overload.

-Ready?" Charles asked.

Erik just nodded, because he didn't trust his voice.

Then Charles' presence entered into Erik's mind with a gentle slip, and Erik's mind didn't offer even the slightest fight whatsoever. Erik trusted Charles so completely with this that he didn't even stop to wonder any risks or dangers - as if he had lost even the deepest, automatic self-preservation instinct of having someone else inside his head. Instead, Erik just ached to get their link fixed, to have the bleeding and lonely sensation gone from the back of his head.

Erik could feel distantly how Charles' presence reached slowly for the broken and torn nerve endings. They seemed to answer Charles' presence like a siren call, like they recognized their lost counterparts. Erik almost felt embarrassed by it.

But then his attention was drawn elsewhere, since he felt Charles' mind brushing the torn tendrils and bonds of the link, and Erik let out a quiet moan. It _did_ feel like a wound - terribly infected, lonely and painful wound, that hadn't healed one bit. Erik felt a rush of Charles' empathy for discovering that, and catching something so strong from him telepathically after complete isolation felt like balm to Erik's mental wounds.

It was like the last confirmation that Charles was, in fact, alive and alright.

Still, Erik couldn't help but to wince when his head filled with small amounts of white noise as Charles drew the torn bonds a little forward, no matter how gently he was trying to do it. Erik could only wait as Charles started to tie the former bond together. With every knot, the torn ends throbbed less and less, and Erik felt increasingly better. Even if he could feel that the bond Charles was making wasn't nearly as strong as before.

But when the first firm knots where there, Erik felt their link coming back alive again, and heard the familiar hum sparking from Charles' end. Erik felt like he could breathe properly after a long while. Suddenly there was connection between their minds, just like that, no matter how violently it had been broken before, and Erik could get the faintest sensations from Charles' end - vague emotions, unverbalized thoughts. Even the distant noises of Charles' telepathy and the static of alien voices came back, but this time, Erik welcomed them too.

It had been too quiet.

It had been...just him, here. And somehow, it had felt wrong. Incomplete.

Now there was Charles, too, and Erik's head felt whole.

Erik could feel his own eyes watering a little from the relief of having the link back, and he hated it, but at the same time, he couldn't care less.

Erik pushed his own mental awareness clumsily forward, and strengthened the fresh bonds the only way he could - by imagining layers of steel and titaniums on top of them, layers after layers. Charles' surprise for that was obvious, but he didn't comment or stop him. Instead, Charles withdraw a little, letting Erik wrap the newly formed bond with metal, and stabilize his hold on them, as if he understood why Erik needed to do it. Erik quietly promised himself that he wouldn't let go of the link again, no matter how many helmets the Chimera would try to shove down his head.

Even after the knots and bonds felt secure already, Erik added some more layers of metal on them.

But it just...didn't seem quite enough yet.

So hesitantly, Erik reached towards Charles' presence, nudging him closer. Charles' surprise flowed towards Erik, and unspoken question sent forwards. Erik just couldn't form it into words, but he let out a mental concept of strenghtening the bond more, by making it a little deeper.

Charles hesitated a little, but then made a few more connections. Erik sighed in relief and felt the link growing stronger. He coated everything with metal again.

Charles' presence stayed in place for a while, inspecting the now fixed bond, and conjuring some shields in places Erik couldn't understand without telepathy, but he guessed Charles was ensuring Erik some privacy and mental blocking, even with the link between their minds. Bit by bit, Charles' telepathy quieted down a little too, and Erik felt grateful that Charles tried to spare him from that. More walls and shields were placed here and there, and Erik let Charles do it without interruptions, just feeling how Charles' brilliant mind flowed effortlessly around.

Erik was so concentrated on the link that he didn't even notice his hands searching Charles' wrists and wrapping around them lightly. It was almost like an instinct - how his fingers found their place right on top of Charles' pulse again, the warm beating thumming through his fingertips.

Erik felt the strongest urge to dive into Charles' head again, to meld their minds, to find the complete, perfect oblivion that only a meld could provide - but fought back because he knew he shouldn't want it again, that this should be enough.

He let himself to just watch and feel the new but familiar buzz of the link. It was like Erik's mind had stopped being an abandoned graveyard, and now there were colours and sensations he couldn't even name, and his mind just wrapped around Charles' as if it was a warm bonfire in a winter night.

_Alright, Erik. I'm ready_, Charles voice rang clearly to Erik's head - more clearly that it had in a long while. It felt like talking telepathically came now effortlessly and easily from Charles, like sending thoughts through the link was fluid again.

It really felt like Erik had regained a lost limb. As if he had received his hearing back after a long silence.

_Thank you_, Erik whispered, his thought easily reaching Charles. Some more sensations from Charles bled through, and Erik drew them in hungrily. He could even feel Charles' heartbeat, even if very quietly, through their link, and it was perfectly in sync with the pulse beneath his fingertips. It was almost intoxicating.

Then Charles started to pull his presence and hands away, and Erik felt his own fingers tightening their grip around Charles' wrists posessively - before he hurriedly let go when he realized he had taken a grip from them in the first place. Their link instantly quieted down when the physical connection was lost, but the steady hum remained. Erik blinked his eyes properly open, and looked at Charles blurrily.

Charles took a steadying breath and studied Erik, as if he was listening and inspecting to the link. _How do you feel?_

Erik hesitated, before he remembered he could probably talk to Charles again without actually opening his mouth. _Fine,_ he sent experimentally.

Charles clearly heard him, because he nodded. He was quiet for a while, and Erik could feel him poking the link a little. _You're not projecting any pain anymore._

Erik nodded - of course he wasn't projecting pain. He felt...fixed. Whole. His mind had gotten the link back - gotten Charles back.

Charles dropped his hands to his lap.

Erik hovered on his place, not sure what to do next. He stared at Charles, and felt every inch of dusty air between them. Erik drew a deep breath - too deep, because his ribs suddenly protested and Erik couldn't help but to wince.

Charles' face turned instantly worried, and some of his worry pushed through their link.

-I'm fine," Erik mumbled before Charles could ask, and pressed his arm against his side. Somehow, Erik felt satisfied to feel Charles worrying for him, no matter how much Erik hated showing any weakness in general. Erik panted and tried to add gentle pressure on top of his ribs. He was suddenly out of breath.

Charles still didn't look convinced that he was fine, so he glanced between Erik's ribs and his face. Before he could ask anything, Erik hurried to talk again. -Seriously, Charles, I'm fine. Your face looks worse than my ribs feel."

Charles seemed to consider that answer for a moment. Erik wanted to draw the attention away from himself. -How is that, by the way?" he asked, with a vague gesture towards Charles' cheek.

Most of the swelling there had obviously gone down, but the bruise had turned even more violet and blue during the night. _It's healing, thank you,_ Charles replied absent-mindedly.

He furrowed his brows and tilted his head, and Erik could still feel him radiating worry. Erik dropped his arm and tried to take more normal, shallow breaths - at least try and seem like he was alright. Charles locked eyes with him, and Erik could suddenly feel him using their link and sending comfort towards Erik and numbing his mind from feeling the pain from his ribs - even if hesitantly, experiementally, clearly not wanting to make Erik feel like he was stepping over boundaries. The pain faded. Erik's ribs throbbed less - and so did his broken knuckles and the stitched wound at the back of his head.

As soon as Charles was done, he withdrew back. Erik could only stare, and feel the warm, lingering echo of Charles inside his head.

The time seemed to slow down for a moment, and Erik observed every inch of Charles' face, even all of the shades on the bruise on his cheek. Erik suddenly wished he could do the same for Charles, that he could numb down the pain he must have been feeling. That he just dull the pain from the bruise with a flicker of a thought.

Erik felt his fingers curling a little around the edge of the sheet next to him. He blinked and dropped his gaze, and suddenly felt the need to break the moment, because he wasn't sure what was it even about.

-I'll get us some food," Erik hurried to say and got up.

* * *

Few hours later, Erik started getting restless, as he started to think about the ongoing danger with the Chimera. Soon he was pacing around the room, while Charles threw him glances at times from the bed he was sitting on.

Erik felt the need to start thinking ahead again. -I think we need to start planning our move against Chimera," he finally said.

Charles lifted his gaze. -Yes," he said. Erik glanced at him, and walked next to the bed, sitting opposite of Charles.

-We need to figure out their weaknesses."

Charles shrugged. -Well the helmets are obviously the main problem. They can make anyone into their soldiers with them."

Erik nodded. He had a quick surreal moment since he still barely believed that they were planning to do this together. But he quickly shook the thought off, and concentrated on their conversation instead. -True. I think that the helmets shut down all the conscious levels of the brain somehow. Raven didn't even recognize me back in the mansion. And the helmets also have small needles inside of them, so they're not that easy to remove."

Charles raised an eyebrow. -Needles?"

Erik felt a bit sick for remembering all the needles the Chimera had had going into Charles' body back in the labs, and he felt a bit wary to talk about them. -Yes. They are the only thing in the helmets that are made of metal. I could draw them out, but not before I had a grip on the helmet itself. The helmets are made of plastic, or some other material."

Charles looked away and let out a dark huff. -Of course. Seems like you have made a lasting impression on them."

Erik didn't know what to make of that comment, so he just ignored it. Instead, he moved on. -How about the telepathic control?"

Charles was quiet for a moment. -It's strange. There was clearly someone controlling the mutants through the helmets - someone very strong. And I'm pretty sure it was Emma Frost who attacked me back at the mansion, but she didn't seem like she was putting all of her strength into it. As if she was already weakened by something - which might be the case, because the Chimera clearly has a taste for torture."

Erik felt a twinge of anger for remembering the way Hank had looked, hanging from the ceiling, decaying...and Charles, in the horrifying labs. But Erik tried to quickly wash the images away so Charles wouldn't catch them - there was no reason to remind Charles about it and cause him more pain.

-So do you think Frost is the telepath they're using?" Erik asked.

-No. Not really. The Chimera obviously caught her at some point, but it has happened quite recently. They didn't have her when they had me in the headquarters. There was someone in the labs who worked for them, a telepath who..." Charles swallowed and flickered his eyes away. -Who...broke my shields. And...and made me connected to Hank. And made me kill for them." Charles dropped his eyes. -And believe me, Erik, I did fight back."

Erik felt an intense rush of anger and empathy at the same time. -Do you mean that this telepath is working for them willingly?"

Charles clearly tried to shrug the dark memories off. He sighed. -Yes. After all, you have to have a telepath to force another telepath to do something. So I think that the telepath who broke my shields in the labs is the same that is controlling Emma. And that whoever that telepath is, they're really strong and probably protecting the core members of the Chimera right now."

-That bastard," Erik hissed. He shook his head in disbelief. -One of our own is willingly doing this. Unbelievable," he said, feeling sick from anger.

Charles looked sadly up to Erik. -That seems to be the case. But that's not the worst part, Erik. It's the fact that the Chimera have mutants doing their dirty work, and committing crimes and murder for them. They are ruining the reputation of us all, and spreading fear and prejudice." Charles shook his head. -And that's what I'm most afraid of. The public opinion about us has been mostly on our side after Trask," he said, eyes pained.

Erik observed Charles for a moment, catching some sorrow from Charles through their link. Charles was truly feeling torn because of this, and Erik once again realized that Charles probably never had lost his empathy and care for the mutant kind, not even during those long years in the mansion - just dulled it down with alcohol and isolation.

Erik waved the thoughts away distractedly. -The...the public opinion isn't that important right now. The most important thing is..."

-No, Erik," Charles interrupted passionately. -Don't you see? The public opinion is _everything._ The Chimera is an illegal organization, but if they can make mutants act like the criminals and murderers that the media once painted us as, they might get more support and become stronger. They will dehumanize us, bit by bit. And then they might be granted more resources - even get supported by the government. People might start to turn mutants in, or abandon their children who have a mutation, or get the reinforced idea that we are all just freaks who need to be eradicated."

Erik stared at Charles for a moment. He had never given this so much thought. Charles, however, seemed like he wasn't nearly finished yet. -The Chimera has a frightening amount of advantages at their side, Erik. They have a strong telepath working willingly for them, and who knows how much other telepaths like Emma they can gather and start doing mindcontrol on the humans, too? To make the shift in the prejudiced attitudes faster?"

Erik shrugged. -Surely their telepath can't be as strong as you."

Charles looked slightly surprised. -Well, thank you, Erik, but there's no guarantee that my powers are..."

-They locked you into the deepest parts of their secret headquarters to keep you as their prisoner," Erik said, rising an eyebrow. -They put needles into you, and broke your mind so you wouldn't be able to fight back. Out of all the telepaths in the world, the Chimera made_ you_ their greatest weapon, Charles. And after I came to save you, they sent their brainwashed soldiers to murder you. Don't you see, Charles? They were _afraid_ of you. It's very simple strategic thinking."

Charles raised an eyebrow, like he wasn't sure how to react. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again.

Erik tilted his head. -There's no need for modesty, Charles. Because now that they think that you are dead, they are probably planning their next move after seemingly getting you out of the picture."

Charles furrowed his brows, deep in thought.

Erik hated to ask the next thing, but he knew he had to. -Do you happen to remember anything about the telepath in the labs?"

Charles flickered his eyes to Erik, and then away. Slowly, his eyes narrowed, like he was trying to search through his memories. He was quiet for a long time. -No. Not really." He closed his eyes and lifted his hands against his temples, as if the memories were painful, and winced.

Erik lifted a hand towards Charles, but then dropped it again. -You can't remember - that's fine." Erik said quickly, indicating that Charles should stop trying to remember.

But Charles still kept pushing himself. -My memories from the labs are...blurry. Unorganized..." he said with a strained voice, eyes still closed. -If I could at least remember the face...But there's just...flashes. Screaming. Pain." Charles' face screwed up with a ghost ache, and Erik leant closer and grabbed Charles' other arm demandingly.

-Stop. You can't remember," he hissed. Charles fluttered his eyes open and looked at Erik. Erik felt suddenly so strongly protective over Charles, not wanting the Chimera have any kind of hold over him. Erik looked intensely at Charles. -You can't remember the telepath, so that's that. Stop trying to. We can figure out something else."

Charles nodded hesitantly. Erik realized he was so close that he could feel Charles' breathing on his face. Erik quickly leant back and let go of Charles' arm as if it burned.

-Just," Erik said and cleared his throat, trying to gather his swirling thoughts. -The telepath is the key. If the Chimera loses their control over the helmets and the mutants, they have no army to back them up. They might have normal humans and some mutants fighting for them willingly, but I'm sure that there aren't that many of them in the end."

-But they still have so many mutants fighting for them...Telepaths, teleporters, element benders like you...They made me find so many of them in the labs. How can we ever get through their defences and go after the telepath? I'm sure they will protecting their greatest weapon with great care. And there's only two of us, after all."

Erik was about to argue, but Charles just continued: -And don't mention the Brotherhood, Erik, it's clearly corrupted. Contacting your followers is more than risky right now, since you can't know how many of them besides Frost the Chimera has in their ranks."

Erik couldn't argue with that. But he shrugged his shoulder and lifted his chin. -Still, they ought to be afraid." he said proudly.

Charles lifted a sad but amused eyebrow. -I'm not so sure about that, Erik - and arrogance won't solve our problems. They know you're out there, so they have probably mostly everything metal cleared out of their weapons, clothes and hide-outs. And even if they currently think I'm dead, I still can't get through their helmets - I can only manipulate some ingoing impulses like eyesight, smell and touch to certain extent. And I wouldn't risk doing that from a very far range." Charles sighed and lifted his arms in the air. -And look at me, it's not like I'm exactly going to go running after everyone with a helmet on."

Erik felt a twist of guilt, even if he knew that wasn't Charles' intention.

Erik looked at him, trying to come up with something, anything - but the situation did seem more than a little hopeless.

-You're still one of the most powerful telepaths there are," Erik muttered in defence, almost desperately.

Charles' eyes softened, and he flashed Erik a weak smile. -I still can't make miracles happen, Erik," he said. -And like I said, we shouldn't trust in arrogance. Or underestimate them."

Erik wanted to claim that he wasn't being arrogant, but silenced himself after a moment. It wasn't important right now. He tried to think of a reasonable and clever way to solve this mess, but every plan seemed to fall flat instantly. There was just...nothing.

-We don't even know where their new headquarters are," Charles added. -We don't know where to strike, even if we did have a plan."

Erik felt his frustration going stronger. -Then we will find out. We still have Leap, and..."

-Leap barely pulled through yesterday, Erik," Charles said, leaning closer. -He needs time to recover. We are not using him like a tool again. Besides, he is way too young to be fighting in a war like this anyway," Charles said passionately. Erik opened his mouth to argue, but Charles lifted his hand into the air, eyes sparking with determination. -We are not using him, Erik."

Erik pressed his mouth shut, and bit back a frustaret argument. Charles seemed to know him too well to dodge his arguments before he had even voiced them. It was both annoying and admirable.

They were quiet for a while, deeply in their thoughts.

Erik hated not knowing what to do, and he wasn't good dealing with frustation and helplessness. He gritted his teeth, his anger towards Chimera just growing by the minute. -Any other ideas?" he asked.

Charles tilted his head. -There's...there's always...We can always try talking to the government."

-No," Erik hissed. -Absolutely not! Do you really think _humans_ will help us?"

Charles looked sharply at Erik, and opened his mouth to talk, but Erik quickly interrupted him: -Humans, Charles! The same people who aimed missiles onto us? Who were ready to kill innocent people? No. You should have learnt your lesson already. They won't help us. They won't even _listen_ to us. Even if they did, I'm still one of their most wanted public enemy. They want my head on a spike - they think I killed the president. There's no way I will ever crawl back to them and ask them to strike down an organization of their own. They will lock me up again and let me rot in there."

Charles' eyes flashed. -Don't generalize the humans, Erik. It's not like you were exactly a random victim of theirs. You _have_ done bad things. You _have_ murdered people. And the did have proof of you killing the president."

-I can't believe you're defending them," Erik said, gasping, suddenly starting to get angry. -They are..."

-A mixed group of inviduals," Charles said sharply. -The majority of humans would never accept what Chimera is doing to us. Remember that, Erik. Not all humans are blood-thirsty torturers. Most of them are normal people with basic tolerance and good will."

Erik shook his head, ready to raise his voice and start arguing. It was just so _infuriating_ how differently they saw some things.

-But," Charles said before Erik could start. -That's not important now." he said, and searched Erik's eyes. He took a calming breath. - We just need to figure out some way to deal with the situation."

Erik stared at him, inhaling through his nose. He wanted nothing more than to continue the earlier conversation, to disagree and prove Charles wrong about the humans, but the way Charles' eyes pleaded him to calm down made Erik hesitate. He swallowed, and bit his lip, but in the end, he did stay quiet.

Unbelievable, Erik thought to himself, as his anger started to fade slowly. Just like that, a simple look from Charles had made him stop a quarrel before it had even started. And Erik lost all the remaining fight in him when Charles gave him a weak, thankful smile. Erik could only shook his head, defeated. How Charles was even doing it, Erik had no idea. Maybe it was the fact that he has asked Erik not to start a fight, not actually made him to stop.

Erik didn't even know anymore.

He was almost frighteningly defenceless when it came to Charles.

Few moments passed in silence, and they both calmed down.

Erik was trying to go through all kinds of different scenarios, or plans, to figure out at least some way to go against the Chimera. He didn't want to risk Charles' safety, so he didn't want him anywhere near the brainwashed mutants. But then again, Erik knew he couldn't offer much of a fight himself if there was only plastic and other materials around that he had no control over.

-We could always try to..." Erik started saying, but his voice faded when he turned to look at Charles and caught the look on his face.

Charles had all of a sudden turned to look towards the hotel room door with a concentrated and wary look.

Erik's senses instantly jumped to alerted state. -What? What is it?" he said and quickly got up to stand.

-I'm not...I'm not sure," Charles said and tilted his head._ There's somebody in the staircase. More than one person. But they sound...off. There's just static._

Erik turned to look at the door, and sent his power searching for any metal. He could spot only something very, very small, that could have been just buttons or pieces of belt. But he could sense that whoever was wearing the metal, they were coming upstairs, and fast.

Erik quickly scanned the room for anything usable and reached his arm to draw a small metal box from the nearest table. It didn't seem much but it could be deadly when it was aimed at something hard and quickly enough. The box floated next to him, and Erik glanced at Charles, then at his chair further away. But Charles ignored Erik, and instead lifted his fingers to his temple, clearly trying to make sense of the people outside. Then something in his face changed so drastically that Erik's heart skipped a beat.

-Erik..." he mumbled. _They're from Chimera._ _The static comes from the helmets. _

Erik's senses instantly heightened and he gritted his teeth, drawing more metal towards himself. He stepped between the door and Charles. How the hell had they found them, Erik wondered. How could they have spies everywhere? How could they possibly had known where they were? It seemed impossible.

Erik wanted to crush those people because of sheer frustration.

_Erik,_ Charles hurried to say. _They are searching the hotel. But please, let me try to handle this without a fight. I'll make an illusion for them. It's safer if they don't find out we ever were here._

Erik was about to argue, but he could feel the soldiers had reached the right floor now, and were approaching the door. Charles' voice rang out inside his head._ Erik, I'm serious. If they have the helmets on and someone is seeing everything that's happening through their eyes, the Chimera will find out I'm alive. So let me handle this._

Erik had only seconds to think. He knew he had the small element of surprise if he attacked the Chimera people when they came in through the door. But then again, keeping Charles' safe was more important. So reluctantly, he nodded.

_Alright. Stay still,_ Charles hurried to say and placed his other hand more firmly on the side of his head, staring intently at the door.

The door was suddenly kicked in, and Erik startled for the sudden movement. All of his instincts told him to fight, but he forced himself to stand still.

There were only two men coming in, wearing the Chimera outfits and the ugly, unmistakable helmets, and they scanned the room with cold efficiency. They were holding something in their hands - they weren't exactly guns, just something that vaguely looked alike. Erik felt dread spreading to his chest - whatever those were, they couldn't be good.

He stiffened as the other soldier turned to look at the exact spot he was standing, and Erik was ready to send metal to pierce his skull, but the soldier's eyes looked right through him. Erik blinked in surprise as the soldier totally ignored him, and continued to look around the room. The same thing happened with the other soldier, as he stepped in the middle of the room and closer to the bed.

Erik felt the urge to go closer to Charles, but he knew that making any sounds wasn't a good idea. Charles looked extremely focused as he stared at the soldier just a few metres away from him. The two soldiers looked around, clearly not seeing anyone in the room. They once again looked blindly at the spot where Erik was standing in, and same thing with the bed Charles was sitting on top of.

Erik felt distantly impressed for witnessing Charles' tricks once again, especially when it couldn't have been easy to do with the helmets. But Charles' illusion held and the soldiers just walked around a little. The other one stepped closer to the bed, and Erik felt his heart jumping restlessly. The soldier was way too close to Charles now for Erik's liking, even if the soldier clearly couldn't see Charles. Charles leant back a little, avoiding to cause any sounds.

The Chimera soldier reached his hands to the bed, and landed them on the sheets, inspecting them with care. Charles glanced at the spot, then back to the soldier. Erik cursed quietly inside his own head - the soldier probably could see the bed had been slept in recently. And Charles couldn't just change the way the bed looked in the soldier's eyes right now, because it would only make the soldier more suspicious.

Tensed seconds passed.

Then the soldier leant closer and placed both of his hands and the weird weapon on top of the surface of the bed, as if he was trying to take support and reach for something further away on the bed or the nightstands. But unfortunately, the soldier landed his hand right above Charles' ankle.

Erik felt his mind jumping in fear, because he realized quickly that Charles wouldn't be able to feel the touch, but the soldier would - and couldn't explain what he had bumped into. Erik was about lash out and start fighting, before he clearly saw Charles glancing down at the spot the soldier was holding his hand on, and the soldier lifting his hand, confused about the odd sensation.

Then the man placed his hand there again, but this time his hand twisted into a more flat position - as if he was truly holding it on top of the bed sheets. His fingers didn't curl downwards like they normally would have, and Erik realized in surprise that Charles was manipulating the soldier's sense of touch . The soldier went on and leant forward, trying to grab something from the nightstand. Before Erik had the time to look what it was, the other soldier suddenly started walking towards his partner.

Erik didn't move away in time - so the soldier walked right onto him. Their shoulders collided, and Erik took balancing steps, hissing a little, and the soldier instantly raised his weapon to the air.

If only Erik had realized to stay put and let Charles deal with it, but all of his instinct screamed him to fight, so Erik just punched the soldier to the face, kicked him in the middle and then kicked his knees, sending him towards the floor. _Erik, no!, _came Charles' startled reply, and suddenly Erik could sense the illusion dropping.

Erik turned just in time to see the soldier next to the bed turning his head towards Charles, clearly being able to see him now. Charles sent a hard punch to his face, and the soldier staggered a little, but soon he was searching for his weapon again. Erik lost every last bif of self-preservation and basic knowledge about fighting, because he turned his back on soldier he had just sent to the floor, and rushed towards the bed instead. All he could think about was Charles in danger.

They would _not_ get to him. Even if it was the last think Erik did, he wouldn't let these bastards harm Charles.

So Erik grunted angrily and threw all the metal there was as hard as he could, and let it rain down on the soldier next to the bed. No natural sound of pain came out of the brainwashed soldier, only the crunching sound when some of the metal broke his bones.

The soldier fell disturbingly quietly on his knees, and Erik was about to finish him off - when the other Chimera soldier behind him got back to his feet and suddenly attacked Erik.. There was no attempt of a physical fight, and it was the reason Erik didn't react fast enough. He only had time to feel something pressed against his neck, and yelp when he felt a trigger being pushed down and something sharp entered his skin.

Erik screamed out in fear and surprise - it was a metal needle of some kind, and Erik could feel some liquid spreading under his skin from the puncture wound. He reached for the soldier behind him, grapped the helmet with one hand and the soldier's chin with the other and with a quick movement, twisted his head to the side and broke his neck with a swift movement.

Erik felt no satisfaction, no remorse, as he took the soldier's life.

The nameless man fell bonelessly to the floor behind him, and Erik reached for the needle in his neck with disgusted panic and drew it away, throwing it away to the floor and hurried to turn towards Charles. The remaining soldier was pulling himself up, even with his broken lower body, once again appearing like he had no sense of pain or self-preservation. But Charles' eyes weren't looking at the soldier - they were turned to Erik, and the worry shone from his eyes, and he sent thousands of guestions to Erik through the link, sensing the pain in Erik's neck, wanting to know if he was alright.

But Erik could only see the way the remaining soldier was reaching for Charles, so Erik instinctively reached for the metal on the floor, planning to throw it on the soldier.

But when Erik sent his power outwards, there was..._nothing_.

It was as if he hit a wall. Or if he tried to control plastic - there was no response, no familiar surging of his power.

Nothing.

The metal pieces stayed unmoving.

Erik's heart skipped a beat as he tried again, but couldn't reach or feel the metal, as if there was nothing there. He tried as hard as he could, trying to pull and lift the metal box and all the other objects from the floor, but they didn't even twitch. Erik's breath got stuck to his throat and his eyes widened because he _couldn't _do it.

And those few precious seconds he wasted panicking were too much, because the uninterrupted soldier yanked Charles from the arm and Charles fell down on top of the bed with a yelp, moaning in pain as the soldier twisted his arm into an unnatural angle and forcing him to stay down. Charles tried to fight back, but the soldier was too strong and big, and he had Charles locked on place. Erik forgot everything else and rushed forward -

and saw almost in slow-motion as the soldier lifted the weapon in a swift motion and aimed it at Charles' neck.

And then Erik_ screamed_ because memories from the earlier day repeated themselves, and Erik caught the look from Charles' eyes as the soldier pulled the trigger.

But there was no sound of a bullet, no gunfire, just Charles gasping in pain and his eyes squeezing shut, and for a moment Erik thanked every higher power there was that at least there was some more time, no matter how little. No matter what the weapon did, at least it wasn't sending bits of Charles flying in the air. Not like Raven's gun had.

But then Erik's thoughts halted when he reached the soldier and broke his neck too with a quick and violent movement, his grip and strength coming from pure anger and fear. Erik growled in anger as the man's head was snapped to the side. There was a sick crunch, and then the helmet-headed soldier fell to the floor with soft thud.

Erik was holding his breath, dread starting to spread everywhere inside of him as he simply threw himself on the bed, his whole body trembling, breaths coming out as too shallow breaths, and he took Charles' face into his hands.

-Charles? Charles?" he yelled in fear. Charles blinked his eyes open, and glanced distractedly at the fallen soldier on the ground. Erik leant closer, panic growing, his stomach twisting in horrible fear. -Charles, look at me," he said as his hands shook so badly he could barely control them. Erik's eyes burned because _DearLordNoNoNoNotAgainNo, _and he let his hand slide to the place the soldier's weapon had been in just a few seconds ago and found a small needle sticking out of Charles' skin. Erik pulled it out as fast as he could and threw it to the floor so hard it left his arm aching.

_Mein Gott,_ Erik thought. What was this? Why had the Chimera soldiers used these odd weapons? What had they injected into them both? Had it been _poison_?

-Charles! Charles!," Erik shouted, voice unsteady. Charles gasped quietly and blinked his eyes open and looked at Erik, drawing his twisted arm back to a normal position with a wince. _Erik,_ he replied, but somehow his telepathic voice was quieter than before. He looked slightly confused.

Erik stared intently at his eyes, trying to find anything alarming from them. -Are you in pain? Are you hurt?" Erik asked frantically.

Charles swallowed. _Not...not really. No, _he answered, but Erik was alarmed by how the telepathic reply was still too quiet. Erik leant closer, and slided his fingers on Charles' neck, trying to find any other injuries or needles. He scanned Charles' body quickly with his eyes, but couldn't find anything else on it either. He turned to look at Charles' face, lump rising to his throat.

-Are you sure?" Erik asked with a suffocated voice. He looked at Charles in barely contained panic, and he didn't even notice his ribs throbbing again. Without answering, Charles looked up at Erik, blinking slowly. -Yes. I'm...fine. What about you?" Charles asked.

Erik froze for a moment. -Me?" he asked, like it was a stupid question. Charles reached his hand to Erik's neck, brushing the skin next to the spot the needle had gone in from. -You're bleeding," Charles said, worried.

Erik just shook his head carelessly. -Irrelevant. But...how are _you_ feeling?" he asked once again, anxious. Charles was still staring at the wound on Erik's neck. -They injected something into us both," Charles said, clearly thinking fast. -I can feel it."

Charles winced in empathy as he eyed the mark the needle had left behind on Erik's skin. Erik was about to answer him when Charles suddenly raised his eyebrows, as if he had just noticed something new. Charles flickered his eyes to Erik in surprise, then squeezed them shut for a moment. Then he opened them again, as if his eyes had gone out of focus all of a sudden. Erik stared at him intently, worry gnawing his chest. Charles blinked several times, and his hand dropped back to the bed - too limply for Erik's liking.

-I'm..." Charles said, suddenly sounding a bit distant and confused. He gasped a little, and blinked again. -Charles?" Erik called, spiraling deeper into fear. He wondered how quickly he could get them both to the hospital. What if it had been poison? What if they were both dying? It seemed like the only reasonable explanation, since the soldiers hadn't tried to shoot them.

-Charles, look at me," Erik said, his voice alarmed. -Hey. Look at me," he demanded, and Charles blinked slowly, but he clearly had trouble focusing his gaze on Erik. _Mein Gott_, Erik thought again, as his heart leaped to his throat. He had failed after all, they had gotten to Charles. They had gotten to them both. It had all gone down too fast.

But when Erik tried to find any alarming symptoms from himself, there wasn't much anything. He felt mostly fine. He just felt nauseous because of the fear. Had the Chimera truly been so cruel that they had only given Charles the fatal poison - or the fatal dose - and not to him? Made Erik watch, for the second time, except this was real. It was no illusion. It was really happening.

Erik's eyes burned all of a sudden, as his chest was torn open with fear and panic. -Charles, please look at me," he whimpered out. And Charles did try, but then his eyes grew more dull and unfocused. -Erik..." he muttered. He closed his eyes for a moment. _I think I'm..._

-No. NO. NO. Don't you dare," Erik interrupted through his teeth. -I'm taking you to the hospital. They'll fix you," he said. -You'll be fine," he assured, but his voice almost turned into a breathless whisper. -We both will." Just when he was about to move and start getting them both up, Charles' quiet voice rang out demandingly:

_No._._.there's..._

Charles forced his eyes open again, but this time he was getting even more distant, and he slumped against the bed. His movements were sluggish and boneless. He looked at Erik, clearly trying to fight back and get a proper sentence out of himself. _Erik,_ he called, but his telepathic voice was too faint, too quiet - like it was reduced all the time. As if someone was turning the volume down all the time.

-Stay awake. Don't you try to die on me Charles Xavier," Erik growled, and shook Charles a little. -You hear me?" he added, and bit his lip so hard he drew blood. He was shaking, and wanted nothing more than to lift Charles up and get to the hospital, but somewhere deep down he knew that he would never be in time before the injected liquid - whatever it was - would do its damage. And Erik was afraid to move Charles, in case it only sped up the process.

_Erik, I'm not..._Charles tried to say, but his telepathic voice was now so quiet that the last part of his sentence was lost. Erik stared at him in open horror - that couldn't be a good sign. Charles blinked his eyes open with effort. Only now Erik noticed that his pupils were alarmingly large, and that was the last proof that some damned substance was spreading inside Charles' veins. Charles struggled to talk. -Erik..." he said, slurring. -M..mnot...Mnot d-dying." he said, trying to somehow look reassuring.

-What? What?," Erik said frantically. -You're not dying - is that what you said?"

-Mmmm," Charles said. -But...I'm...gnn...pass out...now," he mumbled.

Erik stared at him. -No. No! Stay awake!" He shook Charles again. He barely got any reaction from Charles, so Erik just slapped him to his uninjured cheek. That forced some awareness back to Charles, even if he looked completely limp against the bed. But somehow, he also oddly looked suddenly stubborn. -Stop...st-op panicking," Charles said, as if he was irritated at Erik and not really afraid at all. -J-just..." he mumbled, eyelids drooping shut again. -Gnn...gonna sleep."

-No you're not. You're _not. _You're going to stay awake. _Verdammt!_ Charles!" Erik said, and slapped him again. He only got a faint twitch of an eyebrow as a response. Erik's heart was thundering. Was...was Charles just delirious? Or serious? What if Charles was right, and he was really just...blacking out? Erik tried to throw as much alertness as he could towards their link, but it didn't change anything. The link was quiet, disturbingly quiet. Erik shook Charles again, but Charles had closed his eyes, and didn't respond.

And at the exact same time, Erik felt the room suddenly tilting in his own eyes, and he gritted his teeth together. He blinked hard, but couldn't stop the dizziness suddenly taking over. Maybe the liquid was getting to him, too. Erik knew that there was no way he could stop it from happening now, as much as he'd like to fight until his last breath. The soldiers had put something into their bloodstreams, and it was spreading fast.

Maybe this was it then.

Maybe they were going to die together in this dusty hotel room.

Erik felt distantly grateful that at least he wasn't the one left behind. It was oddly a self-destructive thought, but then again, Erik knew he wouldn't probably be able to handle losing Charles again. Once had been enough. He wouldn't be able to do it again - so better to go down together.

As Erik's world tilted again, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force himself to concentrate. He mouthed profanity in German, trying to stop the room spinning. Fortunately, he could still feel Charles' pulse steady and undisturbed beneath his fingertips. It was as if Charles really was just sleeping, or passed out.

But then without a warning, Erik's supporting arm against the bed gave in, and he fell bonelessly on the bed, partly on top of Charles.

Erik tried to push himself up, but his arms just didn't obey. He was left lying on an awkward position, his chin pressing into Charles' shoulder.

Erik cursed the Chimera from the bottom of his heart, because felt increasingly like paralyzed, unable to move everything besides his eyes. No matter how hard Erik fought back, the cursed substance in his blood was spreading. It was the most disgraceful way to die like this - to get put down like a dog. Poison was a coward's weapon.

Erik waited to pass out, to die, but the room just kept tilting in a sickening way - and the blackness never came. Erik stayed awake, as much as he hated it, and was left lying there, listening to Charles' breathing. Erik listened to it with intently, noting any changes like a hawk, but there was nothing. Erik was certain that at some point, he could feel Charles' leg twitching, but of course that couldn't be true, so Erik concluded he was having hallucinations.

He was too far gone, obviously.

Erik felt so furious that he would have lashed out if he could have. How dare they. How _dare_ they. They should have had the courtesy of shooting them, at least.

At the same time, Erik listened to Charles with an agonizing care, fearing more than anything that Charles would slip away any moment, but fortunately the passing time didn't seem to make Charles' breathing troubled.

Minutes passed, and Erik feared that more soldiers would come in. That there would be people to witness this.

Nobody came.

Then Erik felt even a little insulted that nobody would finish them off.

Erik could only breathe muffled breaths against Charles' unmoving shoulder, feeling his own numb body but not being able to move it. Erik wondered briefly if this was how Charles' legs felt at times.

He tried to speak, but none of his muscles worked.

Why had the Chimera done this? They had clearly come after Erik. Why not kill him, then - or use him? Did they just want to disgrace and incapacitate him? Or had they planned to momentarily make him immobile, and then kill him afterwards? Erik clung onto that hope. Maybe he had just killed the Chimera soldiers before they had a chance to completele whatever they were sent here to do. Maybe this was just temporary.

Maybe it would pass.

But Erik felt just worse and worse, and there were dark spots dancing in his vision.

Erik spent dark moments just lying there, realizing the Chimera's telepath must have seen Charles' face through the soldiers' eyes. Erik cursed again inside his head, because Charles' short-lived satefy from the illusion was already gone. The Chimera now knew Charles was still alive, and they would hunt him again.

_If_ they did survive from this, that is.

Erik felt panic boiling under his skin, but there was nothing he could do about it. He weakly tried to reach anything metal, but there was nothing, no response.

Something in him was broken.

The Chimera had taken away his powers, and they had poisoned them both.

Erik refused to admit he had lost this fight. He just refused.

As long as he was breathing, and Charles was still with him, he wouldn't give up.

Erik just frantically wondered why Charles had seemed so calm right before he had blacked out - as if he had known what has happening to him. It made no sense why he had tried to calm Erik down, too. But maybe there was hope, then. Maybe something only Charles knew about.

At the same time, Erik could have sworn he felt Charles' knee twitching again, but he knew that just couldn't be true.

Their link stayed quiet, and Erik could only wait - wait to die. Or whatever the other option was. He had no other choice.


	24. Chapter 24

Miraculously, after long and agonizing minutes had passed in the too quiet hotel room, Erik realized for his surprise that he started to regain some sense and control into his limbs. It made no sense why, but he could feel them slowly coming back to him. Maybe something in the poison in his veins had backfired - or the Chimera hadn't given him a dose strong enough. Erik didn't really know, but he felt wild hope growing in him.

Mayhe he wasn't going to die a slow, disgraceful death after all.

And for Erik's utter relief, after some while Charles let out a barely audible moan and shifted a little next to Erik. Even if Erik could only lie there limply next to him, he still closed his eyes, thanking every possible higher power there ever was. At least they were alive. Both of them. Useless and paralyzed like broken toys, but alive.

Within the next few minutes, and for Erik's increasing relief, Charles clearly started to come around. It was a slow progress, but unmistakable one.

Erik waited, slightly worried how Charles would be feeling. Surely the poison injected into them wasn't just something to knock them out? It seemed unlikely. Charles seemed to be able to move himself more than Erik, though, and Erik had no idea why. Whatever the substance was, they probably both had gotten it. It made no sense why they would have altered it from syringe to another. Or at least that was Erik wanted to believe.

He absolutely hated just lying there, knowing that if someone came in right now, they could easily kill both him and Charles.

And he wouldn't be able to even lift a finger.

But he had no other choice but to wait. It was agonizing and infuriating, but Erik still couldn't move himself at all.

* * *

Fortunately, after a few more minutes, Charles inhaled air more sharply than before and started to blink his eyes open. It was hard for Erik to see anything from this angle without being able to move his head, and he hated that he couldn't check on Charles himself. But as soon as Charles seemed to be fully awake, he turned towards Erik, confused. -E...erik?" he called, words still a bit slurred.

Erik swallowed in relief.

Charles tried to lift his hand from the bed, but it dropped back limply. Erik wasn't surprised at all - whatever the substance was inside their veins, it was strong. Erik hated to be so helpless, to be locked inside his own body, but couldn't do anything about it.

Some more time passed in fuzzy silence. But when Charles lifted his hand again, he succeeded. He landed it clumsily on Erik's arm that was sprawled on top of him. -Erik?," he called, shaking Erik from the arm. Charles clearly tried to lift his head to get a better look on him, but couldn't move enough. -Erik?," he just called again, sounding worried.

Erik managed to make a meaningless mumbling sound from his throat as an answer.

Charles clearly calmed down a little, and he went still for a while. -Are you alright?" he asked, still not letting go of Erik's arm.

Erik made a groaning voice again, just to signal he was, in fact, alive. He had no idea if he was actually_ alright_ or not. Getting some sensation back to his body wasn't exactly a promise he was getting back to normal. Confusingly enough, the poison had made Erik paralyzed - at least momentarily - but obviously not Charles - or then he had recovered impressively quickly.

The sounds of their breathing sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room.

They spent some minutes just lying there.

-You're kind of heavy," Charles finally said, and in any other circumstances, Erik might have laughed at that - out of everything Charles could have said, that wasn't something Erik would have expected. Erik guessed he might have felt rather heavy, lying there partly on top of Charles with complete dead weight. Charles was, after all, smaller than Erik - had always been. Erik would have moved if he could have. The position wasn't exactly comfortable, and he didn't want to crush Charles.

One more thing drew Erik's attention - it was strange, but Charles seemed to be mostly calm about the situation. It was as if he wasn't half as bothered by getting injected with something unknown as Erik was. It dulled Erik's fears to a reasonable level. Maybe Charles had some idea of what was going on.

Charles tried to shift a little, but Erik's own weight was mostly blocking him. Charles took a breath.

-I think I'm going to push you to the side, yeah?" Charles said, directing his question to Erik. Erik could only let out another grunt in response.

Charles took a careful grip of Erik's shoulder and arm, and clumsily pushed him to his back. Erik flopped there like a rag doll, but feeling relieved for the change of his weight. He glanced at the ceiling, swallowing and adjusting his eyes. His arms were sprawled against the bed exactly where they had landed. Erik felt like there were pins and needles everywhere in his limbs, prickling angrily. Charles pushed himself to lean on his elbow with effort, and after he had quickly checked the room around them and found it empty, he turned to Erik. Finally, Erik could look at him, and their eyes met.

Charles looked mostly fine - just a bit worn out and his pupils were still far too dilated, but still. Charles was, in turn, scanning Erik's face worriedly. -Erik, can you hear me?" he asked. There was a slight slur in his words, but not as bad as before.

Erik let out an incoherent sound again.

Charles seemed to notice that Erik's eyes were at least reasonably sharp and aware, and he looked relieved. -Good...Because I don't think we're in any imminent danger. I don't know how long I was out, but I think there were only those two soldiers sent in here. Surely they will send more, but...We still have a chance to escape before they do. We just...have to wait until the first wave fades."

Erik tried to lift his eyebrow, but couldn't. Fortunately, Charles seemed to realize that Erik had no idea what he was talking about. -Oh right..." he mumbled, and shited to a better position next to Erik, wincing slightly. -I'm pretty sure they injected us with Hank's serum, Erik. But not the real one - not the newest and best version of it that I used to use. This one must be a few years old, one of the first ones Hank made. Remember when I told you that I used to faint a lot before Hank did the alterations to the formula?"

Erik would have nodded if he could have. Charles had told him that back at the mansion.

-Well, this was exactly what I was referring to," Charles explained. -The serum kicks in too quickly, so it causes almost instant unconsciousness. The formula was experimental at that point, because the ingredients weren't at the right balance. So there's some obvious unwanted side effects." Charles suddenly had an odd look on his face. -Some of which I think I will develop soon." he said.

Erik's eyes widened a little for that, and Charles hurried to continue. -Nothing life-threatening." he assured. -Hank would have never given me anything that could have killed me."

Erik stared at him, and suddenly things started to click. Everything made more sense - Charles leg and knee had twitched then, it hadn't just been Erik's own hallucination. He also realized now that's why Charles' telepathy had also quieted down - because of the serum, not because he was dying. If the substance truly was just Hank's serum, Charles shouldn't be in any current danger. But Erik still couldn't calm completely down, because Charles' pupils were still too dilated, and Erik felt worry gnawing inside of him.

Charles seemed to sense what Erik was thinking. He swallowed and looked apologetically at Erik. -I'm sorry I scared you like that. Again. But if the serum is just Hank's, I can assure you it's not anything fatal," he explained quietly. -It just knocked me out for a while. That's what I was trying to tell you."

Charles tilted his head and a pained look spread to his eyes. He glanced at Erik's unnaturally still form. -This is all my fault. If I had destroyed the serums in time, the Chimera would have never gotten their hands on it. They must have found it in the mansion after we left with Leap. I'm afraid they are developing it into a weapon." he whispered fearfully.

Charles' guilt was thick in the air between them.

-I've been such a fool," he said, and his voice broke a little. He looked at Erik, helplessly. -I have just aided the Chimera time after time, no matter what I've done." he mumbled. Erik hated to be unable to talk at the moment, because Charles was now blinking hard, eyes glistening, looking absolutely miserable. -In the end I always end up hurting everyone, or driving them away. Or getting them killed. It's like I'm cursed," Charles said shakily.

He squeezed his eyes shut. -I don't even know what's the point anymore. If I build a school, my students get sent into a war and return in coffins. If I lock myself away from the world, I get blamed for abandoning the mutantkind. And if I ever love anyone, they always end up leaving me or dying. I was a coward when I didn't destroy every last one of those serums."

Erik blinked and stared back at Charles in shock, completely taken aback by his words. Erik wanted nothing more to open his mouth and tell Charles that was being an absolute idiot, that he couldn't possibly think so little of himself, but the muscles in his throat didn't work well enough to argue.

Charles dropped his head to the bed again. -I'm sorry." he whispered. -The serum heightens my emotional state." He swallowed and lifted his hand to his face. -I shouldn't burden you with this."

Erik could only stare at the ceiling, confused thoughts swirling in his head. He loathed the fact how Charles saw the situation and himself - he blamed himself for literally everything, even for getting captured by the Chimera. Erik felt suddenly guilty for blaming Charles for all the time he had hid away in the mansion during all those long years. Charles hadn't seemed to listen his accusations back then, but now it seemed like he very much had. Erik briefly wondered just how much Charles actually listened to him, and it seemed that it was very often - despite their differences.

Erik gritted his teeth. He was certainly not going to let this go - he would talk some sense into Charles when he had the chance and time. Erik guessed that Charles would never had said all those things without the serum, and it bothered him a little. Charles was always so worried about everyone else, and he never really talked about himself. It irritated Erik that everything he knew about Charles had been found out more or less by accident - by seeing his memories back at the cabin, sharing the link with him, and having Charles' usual guard lowered down by the serum.

Charles was just...incredibly sefless. Erik could barely understand it. Charles always saw the good in others, no matter how far gone they seemed - yet Charles didn't seem to hold himself in a high regard in turn at all.

Charles was truly remarkable, and he never ceased to astonish Erik.

Erik felt the urge to move his hands, to reach for Charles, but couldn't. He could only listen as Charles drew shuddering breaths beside him. Even without any telepathy, Erik could sense guilt radiating from him.

And he hated it.

Erik was not used to feel such strong sentiment over someone else's pain. How could Charles even think this? Erik felt the urge to shake him, to yell at him that he could not possibly blame himself for all the bad things that had happened. Charles had been used, and broken, and twisted into a weapon.

But Erik's voice didn't work, so all of his words were left unspoken.

The next time Charles talked, his voice sounded more steady. -Let's wait for a while for you to recover. I'm not sure how the serum will affect you, but the first wave should pass soon."

Erik still had no idea what a 'first wave' really was, but it wasn't like he could ask. Even their link was currently useless without Charles' telepathy. Erik just hoped Charles was right.

Minutes crawled by.

It was encouraging that some more sensation was going back to his legs and arms.

After ten long minutes, Erik could feel his body getting back to normal. He could move himself again, even if he felt stiff. He stretched his limbs experimentally, wincing as they ached.

After five more minutes, Erik had regained the rest of the control, and carefully pushed himself up to sit. The room tilted dangerously, but after a moment it fortunately settled. Erik cleared his voice. -We..." he said and had to cough. Even if he felt a bit unsteady and his speech was slurring a little, it felt so good to be able to move and talk again. -We need to leave." Erik said and struggled to stand up. It took him a moment of disorientation and swaying, but then he was steady. Charles nodded from the bed and pushed himself to sit, too, just a bit slower than normally, and took support from the bedpost to draw him closer to the edge.

Erik glanced at the dead soldiers on the floor, and then the door. The door was still hanging open.

Erik's eyes were drawn to the scattered metal pieces on the floor, no matter how much he tried to avoid it, since was almost too afraid to try to control them. But he needed to know, needed to try...

Erik flicked his fingers just a little. He tried to send his power surging, to draw the metal closer to himself, but he got no answer. Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

The metal didn't answer his call, Erik couldn't even sense it like he normally could.

Erik stared at the floor, his stomach churning.

-I've lost my powers," he stuttered. -They're not working," he said and tried to reach his arm into the air and repeat the previous gesture, but it didn't help. The metal stayed as unmoving as everything else in the room.

Erik swallowed hard and slight panic started building inside of him. He had just hoped that he had had a moment of sudden failure earlier. But now, he had to face the truth. Because in the end, Erik had no idea what the serum had done to him, or whether it was truly temporary. What if he had lost his powers for good? What if they were gone _forever_?

He still did feel a little fuzzy from the serum, but it didn't prove anything.

His powers should work. He had been dosed with so many drugs back in the prison, and his powers had worked nonetheless. That's why they had put Erik so far and deep down to the ground, far from any metal, because nothing else worked.

But here he was, after one small injection, and he couldn't make the metal on the floor even flinch.

Deep down, Erik knew that it was no time for this, that they needed to get out already - that it was too dangerous to stay here. Still, he kept staring, trying to find his powers, but there was nothing to find. It felt like he was trying to get an engine running that had no gasoline in it.

But the sudden sound of Charles falling on the floor made Erik's concentration falter and he swirled around on his heels.

Charles had fallen next to the bed, and he grunted in discomfort as he took support from the floor with his arms and brushed his own knee briefly. -Not yet," he mumbled and looked up to Erik, looking somewhat disappointed and miserable. -Please help me up?" he asked. Erik crouched down, testing his own legs in the progress. They seemed to hold, so he took a firm grip from Charles' waist and pulled them both up, planning to put Charles back to sit on top of the bed, when suddenly Erik felt his own balance swaying a little. He felt like he was being pushed a little backwards, and Erik flickered his confused eyes to Charles. Charles clutched to the front of Erik's shirt, looking strained and concentrated. Erik flickered to look down, and for his surprise, he saw Charles' legs straightened and planted stubbornly on the ground, even if they were trembling just a little, and did not really look steady at all. Erik breathed out in surprise - he had gotten so used to Charles sitting either on the chair or somewhere else that suddenly having him standing on his own and on almost same eye-level felt strange.

Charles sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, and Erik witnessed a moment of deep satisfaction on Charles' face as he stood mostly on his own, as if he had missed the feeling more than anything, and Erik felt a quick stab of never-ending guilt about it. Usually Hank's serum didn't work this fast, though. Erik briefly wondered how different this version of the serum truly was, if it had already knocked Charles out and then made his legs work in record time. Usually that couldn't mean anything good.

Despite the quick development, Erik still didn't dare to let go of Charles. -Charles. We can't stay here."

Charles flickered his eyes open and Erik once again noted that his pupils were blown far too wide to be considered normal. -Just...just a moment," Charles mumbled and bit his lip hard in concentration. Then he slowly tried to lift his leg and step forward, but the second he did, he lost his balance and started falling towards the floor, letting out a muffled yelp. Erik caught him quickly and cursed under his breath as he pulled Charles up to stand again. -Don't get ahead of yourself," Erik muttered. -There's no way you should be even standing right now."

But Charles acted like he hadn't even heard. He forced his legs to give him any support he could find - no matter how much effort it seemed to take - and Erik held him reluctantly up.

-Charles, we need to leave. There will be more people coming after us," Erik said demandingly.

-I know," Charles mumbled, but something about him was off, and Erik didn't know what it was. -But...Erik, not yet," Charles asked with a pleading look, and Erik just couldn't tell him no, even if he knew that staying here any longer than necessary wasn't a good idea. Erik studied Charles' eyes - they were too sluggish, not to mention the pupils. His speech was still slurring a little, and there was something strange in him that Erik couldn't quite put his finger on.

Erik knew that Charles would very likely crash to the floor without his support, and that he wasn't able to walk in a while either. Erik tried to plan quickly - he would need to carry Charles down the stairs, and come back for the chair later, since he couldn't exactly float it after them right now. Or maybe they had no time for that. Erik just wanted out of here as soon as he could, so he abandoned the idea of the chair. He'd get a new one somewhere. Right at the edge of Erik's mind, there was a bubbling panic, barely contained. He had no powers - he had _no_ powers - and it made Erik feel more afraid he wanted to admit. He would be useless in a fight. He had no advantage on his side. He was...basically a human now.

And Erik had a bad feeling that whatever would happen, he had to protect them both. He straightened himself, and tried to put himself into a logical, efficient mode. -How long does the serum's effect last?" he asked from Charles.

Charles blinked blurrily and turned to look at him with an oddly distant gaze. Erik raised an eyebrow.

-W-what?" Charles asked.

Erik felt bothered that Charles' current state was seeming to do downhill again. -I said - how long does the serum last, Charles?"

Charles' eyes looked alarmingly more black than blue now, his pupils blown unnaturally wide. -Time." he stated, as it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Erik scanned Charles' face, getting a bad vibe. -What's wrong with you?" he asked warily.

Charles swayed a little on his place. -Wrong." he repeated, like he didn't realize he had just been asked a question. Erik just stared at him for a while, and felt increasing dread of what the "second wave" contained - probably the other side-effects Charled had mentioned about.

-Alright, we're leaving now," Erik said, and them simply lowered Charles a little in his grip. As he had expected, Charles' knees buckled instantly and Erik quickly lifted him up to his arms. Charles let out a sharp breath and his head fell against Erik's shoulder. -No," he said demandingly. -Erik. Erik," he called urgently.

-What?" Erik asked, as he was about to take a step towards the door.

Charles blinked and turned his head upwards. Erik looked down at him - Charles' eyes didn't react to the light in the right way. Erik had no idea where this was going towards. But for a moment, it looked like the real, coherent Charles was trying to push through. -Erik..." he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut, like trying hard to remember something.

-Syringes," Charles said slowly, like he was about to say something important. There was a look on his face Erik could recognize, it was the one Charles wore when there was something vital he was trying to say.

-What about syringes?" Erik asked quickly, now that he still had some grip on Charles' logical mind.

-Sy-syringes. Need...to..." but then Charles' voice faded. His skin looked clammy all of a sudden. He seemed to forget what he had been saying. -Dizzy, Erik..." he whispered.

Erik lifted an eyebrow. -You're dizzy?" he asked, because Charles' speech was so clipped that he couldn't tell if he was trying to say something or were these unrelated, separate sentences.

Charles let his head drop against Erik's shoulder again. -Dizzy," he stated, and he suddenly felt a bit heavier in Erik's arms. Erik could only trust Charles' earlier words that whatever was happening, it wasn't anything life-threatening. Erik felt sick for thinking that maybe the Chimera had altered the serum somehow, and Charles hadn't been able to predict any of the symptoms beforehand.

-Erik..." Charles called again, but Erik wasn't going to wait any longer - they needed to get out. So without stopping, he hurried towards the door and away from the room, heading to the stairs. Everything else could stay behind.

-Erik, we need to get Hank," Charles said, and Erik lifted an eyebrow, glancing at him worriedly. Charles was clearly slipping deeper and deeper into some kind of odd delirium. -He needs to...fix me." Charles added.

Erik didn't answer, because he didn't know what to say.

-Let me walk." Charles suddenly demanded.

Erik huffed. -No. You can barely stand."

Charles' fingers tightened around Erik's shirt as they passed more stairs. -I...want to. Can walk. Can run," he assured.

-Right. Sure you can," Erik muttered, and hoped Charles' head would clear out from his haze sometime soon, because it was all kinds of confusing, and pretty much the last thing Erik needed right now. Erik's heart was beating fast with adrenaline as he kept scanning his surroundings all the time, expecting to spot danger everywhere. He truly hoped that there were no soldiers in the stairs. He gritted his teeth as he passed another floor.

-Hank. Hank, have you heard about Erik?" Charles suddenly said, as if he expected an answer. Erik stayed quiet as he walked down the stairs, wary of the danger but also increasingly worried about Charles. Not only was Charles seriously delirious, but he also thought that he was with Hank. -I miss him sometimes," Charles whispered, and Erik's steps faltered for a moment before he went on. -B-been too long," Charles mumbled against Erik's shirt.

Erik briefly wondered what Hank and Charles had talked about him during those long years in the mansion - when he had been in the prison. But it was all irrelevant right now.

-Where's Erik?" Charles asked, sounding confused, eyes unfocused.

-I'm right here," Erik replied. -And you're not making any sense. So maybe stop talking now." He was almost at the ground floor now. The receptionist wasn't there, and Erik briefly wondered if the man had had bad luck and had become a casualty for the Chimera soldiers. Erik didn't really care, he was just glad they could leave without being seen.

Charles was quiet for a long while. -Don't drop me," he suddenly said, right when Erik finally stepped out of the hotel and started hastily making his way out of there as fast as he could without drawing too much attention. He knew that carrying Charles around the streets would earn them curious glances, but he couldn't figure out anything else right now.

-There's birds, Hank," Charles added.

Erik ignored him. He felt too exposed here out in the open, and he tried to figure out a quick plan where to go. He quickly considered a hospital, but the Chimera would probably know to look from there. So it wasn't option. There had to be something else.

-I wonder if Erik ever thinks about me," Charles mumbled quietly. He leant heavily against Erik's shoulder. -In that prison? It's been...years."

Erik almost ignored him again, but then changed his mind. -I'm certain he did, Charles," he replied quietly. -And too often if you asked him."

Charles fell into thoughtful silence. But then Erik's face hardened, since he spotted some people were throwing them odd glances, and Charles' incoherent babbling wasn't really helping. Erik swallowed. -But now shhh."

-Don't shush me," Charles said sharply. -I'm..."

-Completely out of it and talking too much," Erik finished the sentence for him. -And I'm trying to get us into safety so please, Charles, do shut up now."

Charles seemed to consider that for a while. -Don't drop me," he said, now almost whispering, sounding tired. Erik looked around in the street. -I won't drop you," he promised distractedly, and prayed that nobody from Chimera would see them leaving.

Like an answer to all of his questions, Erik spotted a taxi. Before anyone else could see them, Erik hurried inside, and got them moving. He slumped against the seats in relief as the cursed hotel disappeared out of sight.

* * *

By pure luck, the taxi driver bought Erik's vague story about drinking too much beer in the pub last night, and didn't ask too much questions.

He just drove away from the hotel, and Erik told him to get them to the other side of the city. He knew that he didn't have any money with him, and he couldn't scare the driver off with his powers, either. Charles' powers weren't working either, even if he had been coherent enough to use them. Instead, Charles had gone mostly quiet, and Erik was left to figure out something by himself. He had no allies, no back-up plan, and the most dangerous organization he had ever faced on their tail. Erik had never felt this helpless in his whole life.

He had no idea how Chimera had found them. There was no way they could have known they were in the hotel. It has been completely random choice. Even the receptionist hadn't been aware of their presence after Charles had altered his memory and made him forget their faces.

For the first time, Erik truly wondered what if they couldn't beat the Chimera.

What if he had found his match? What if the Chimera was too strong, too powerful, too well-organized?

They seemed to be always three steps ahead, as if they could predict every move Erik was about to make.

And as much as Erik would have never admitted it aloud, it was terrifying him.

Erik realized he had been arrogant to think that destroying the Chimera's headquarters had done anything besides slowing them down for a while. And now the organization had almost succeeded in killing both of them, and they also knew Charles was alive. Erik truly feared where this was going to end. He was powerless. He couldn't control metal, and he couldn't control the situation. Brotherhood was corrupted, and Charles' students were gone.

Erik felt nauseous, and squeezing Charles' elbow was the only thing that kept his grip on the reality right now. For a very brief moment, he almost panicked in the taxi.

He felt like someone had cut his arms off, and thrown him to a river.

But then by sheer willpower, Erik forced himself to straighten his back, swallow the lump from his throat, and trick himself into breathing steadily.

He still had Charles, and they were both alive, and uncaptured.

Right now, that seemed like a small victory in itself.

* * *

The driver pulled over to a random street, and Erik told the him that he would get Charles somewhere inside first and then come back to pay.

He never went back.

Instead, he passed through a some office building of some sort, slipped into a side alley and then stopped there.

There, Erik leant briefly against a wall, adrenaline making his still stiff limbs feel heavy, and tried to calm himself down.

Charles seemed to wake up again from his odd semi-catatonic state, and looked up at Erik. -I can walk. Let me down," he said.

Erik threw him a disbelieving look, but Charles looked stubborn. -Erik," he said demaningly. -Put me down."

Erik took it as a good sign that at least Charles now knew who he was with, and wasn't mixing him with Hank. So, carefully, Erik started to lower Charles on his feet. After some wobbling, Charles managed to stand, even if he was still supporting himself heavily by gripping Erik's shirt and arm. He swallowed and stared at his feet thoughtfully.

-Too long since I've used them," he said, shifting his weight experiemntally. Then glanced up at Erik with a hesitating look. -I might need to..."

Erik just nodded and Charles put his arm around Erik's shoulders, swaying a little in place but managing to take a few unsteady steps.

-Are you sure you can walk?" Erik asked warily.

Charles just let out an agreeing sound, and started slowly making his way forward. He was leaning heavily on Erik, unsurprisingly. Erik hesitated and wondered if this was really a good idea.

They walked out of the small alley and into a busier street. Erik had to admit that they looked a bit more normal now, probably just like they were making their way home after an alcohol-filled night, and weren't drawing so much strange looks.

-Any ideas where we should go?" Erik asked as he scanned the street.

Charles shook his head. -I'm..." he lifted his head up in confusion and his too-wide pupils fixed on Erik. He looked suddenly very serious. -I trust you." he said solemnly.

Erik froze for a moment and then nodded. -Um...alright." Charles looked like he expected an answer. Erik swallowed. -Good that...we have that established."

Charles searched Erik's face, like he was trying to remember something, as if his normal coherent self was present there, even for a brief moment. Then it was gone again, and Charles looked almost a bit too laid-back. -Yes. Good. Good is how I feel. Tremendous, actually."

Erik raised an eyebrow, and opened his mouth, then closed it again. -Right..." He once again glanced around. -We need to find a place to stay."

Long seconds passed, but Charles just kept staring at Erik intently, and it was getting distracting. Especially when they were so close to each other.

Erik tilted his head. -Are you sure you're alright?" he asked carefully and lowered his voice.

Charles let out a smile. -Never better." he said, and chuckled. The sound was so alien that Erik could only stand there and stare. Charles leant more heavily on Erik, and his mood was suddenly getting almost cheerful. -You are way too serious, Erik" Charles said, sounding amused. -Sometimes you can be such a grinch."

Now Erik was absolute certain that there was something really wrong with Charles. Erik scanned him warily.

-Are...are you _high_?" he asked incredulously.

Charles lifted his hand and pinched two of his fingers together. -A teensy bit, maybe," he said, and flashed a lazy smile. -Hank really screwed up with this one. I mean, first I black out, then I'm dragged into a pool of angst, then I'm going up again. But at least my legs work again."

Erik flashed him a dark, worried look. -And what then? What happens after this?"

Charles smiled again. -I'll stay like this. Well, mostly. God bless Hank for that! And sadly it'll fade in time, and so will the sensation from my legs."

Erik could barely believe that this was really happening. -So no other symptoms...or 'waves', or whatever you call them?" Erik asked demandingly.

Charles sighed. -No. Just this. For the rest of the time."

Erik sighed in relief - small miracles and all that. Charles kept staring at Erik like he was the most interesting thing in the world with his black-ish eyes, and Erik started to feel squirmy now. -Alright. Alright, let's just get into somewhere safe. We have to wait until the serum wears off." Erik said.

When he tugged Charles forward, Charles started walking. The longer they went on, the steadier his steps became, but Erik still didn't dare to let him go.

Erik found a cheap hotel after some time, and spent some time standing outside. Fortunately, there was only one receptionist. Erik waited for his opportunity, and when the receptionist left his desk for a short moment, Erik pulled Charles with him inside and disappeared to the staircase with him before they were seen.

Charles had some trouble climbing the stairs, and he kept stumbling a little. -I hate stairs." he stated loudly. -Even the bloody mansion has too much of them."

-I'm sorry about your sufferings," Erik said sarcastically, because he really didn't feel like dealing with this right now. Somewhere deep inside, Erik also felt angry that Charles had done this to himself with Hank's aid, that he had so carelessly injected the serum into himself and endangered himself. But also that he had been so desperate to have his telepathy blocked and his legs back. It spoke volumes about Charles' inner motivations. Erik had never been in exactly close terms with Hank either, and as much as he understood what Hank had tried to do, Erik still couldn't understand why he had let Charles go through something like this. Especially when Hank's experiments had a reputation of backfiring.

Erik had to slow down their pace because Charles really had trouble moving his feet now. The problem didn't seem to be his legs, but his drugged state.

-Erik," Charles mumbled, and came to a halt.

-What?"

Charles took support from Erik and turned to look at him. His pupils looked even more dilated than before in the dim staircase. He looked at Erik for a long time, just breathing in and out, like he was trying to say something. Erik was suddenly well aware of the narrow walls around them, and the way the carpet on the floors smelled like. Charles was so near that Erik could feel the warrmth of his body close to his own.

-Thank you for saving my life," Charles said in a serious tone, swaying a little in his place.

Whatever Erik had expected him to say, it wasn't this. Erik was quiet for a while, and swallowed. -You're welcome," he answered quietly.

Charles swallowed too, and studied every inch of Erik's face carefully. Long seconds passed when Charles just blinked slowly and his eyes wandered on Erik's brows and nose and forehead. Then they flickered back to Erik's eyes, and there was an oddly sharp emotion lingering in his gaze. -I...would have died in those labs without you. Without the link. You...you know that, right?"

Erik had to look away. He didn't like to think about it. -I am aware," he said stiffly.

Charles leant even closer, and Erik could feel Charles' breathing on his jaw and cheek, since Charles was shorter than him. Erik didn't suddenly know what to do with the narrow space between them, so he just tightened the grip of his hands on Charles instinctively, making sure he didn't fall. Charles blinked slowly. -I don't...I don't feel anything bad right now. I don't feel the pain. Or the guilt...Or remember the faces of my lost students. Or the people the Chimera made me kill. I can't hear them, Erik - the voices. They're all gone. There's just you."

Erik opened his mouth to answer, and Charles' eyes dropped to his lips, as if he was expecting to hear them forming an answer. But Erik forgot whatever he was about to say, and for a moment, his brain went blank. Charles' eyes wondered back up to Erik, even if a bit sluggishly.

-Why did you come to save me?" Charles said, and looked truly confused. -In...in the first place. From the labs? I thought...I thought you hated me."

Erik took a careful, slow breath. -No. I could never hate you. I was _angry_ at you. There's a difference."

Charles let out an amused huff. -So the great Magneto doesn't hate everyone after all." he said teasily, drawing his lips into a wry smile.

Erik lifted an eyebrow. -I'd say I just exclude some people from it," he answered.

Charles let out a light laugh, and for a few seconds Erik didn't even care it was because of his drugged state - Charles sounded happy, even if it was only for one fleeting moment. Normally, Erik would have probably ended the conversation there, but Charles' slightly delirious state encouraged him to open his mouth again.

-You are hard to hate," Erik added truthfully, and felt his own lips tugging a little.

Charles looked at him, almost challengingly. -Am I? You know that's...that's something not many people would believe you ever said to me."

-Well, most people think I'm evil," Erik said as a half-joke, but Charles' face turned instantly serious.

Charles eyed him carefully, and leant even closer, as if he could see into Erik's soul. -You're not. Not completely, at least." Charles blinked slowly, sadness quickly flashing on his face. -Otherwise you wouldn't be so unhappy."

Erik raised his eyebrows and let out a soft gasp - he felt like he had been hit - that's how deep and accurate those words had sounded, like they were sinking into the most secret and inner parts of him. Erik tried to hide his surprise and force a more neutral look on his face, but Charles seemed to see right through him. As always.

Charles' face was filled with empathy. -And you wouldn't be so lonely." he whispered.

Erik bit his lip so hard it hurt, and almost leant away. -What makes you think I'm lonely?" he said with a dry and denying tone, even if there was a small lump in his throat. He was almost scared to ask, because Charles could be frighteningly perceptive at times.

-Because, Erik...you keep coming back to me." Charles said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He took a better grip around Erik's shoulders, and slumped closer. -If you truly were the villain the media paints you, you wouldn't be standing there. You...you wouldn't have woken up to nightmares last night, your mind screaming louder than I've heard in years."

Erik swallowed, because he felt suddenly pierced by Charles' words, and distracted by his physical closeness, and Erik shifted his weight, having so many thoughts and emotions swirling inside his head that he could only thank his luck Charles couldn't hear them right now. The narrow corridor seemed suddenly too small, and Erik felt like he needed to run and draw his old helmet on and lead the Brotherhood with strict order, because he barely could breathe properly and there was too much everything and he wasn't angry or lonely right at this moment, and he didn't know what options that left for him.

Despite the danger, despite all the hurt they had been through, Erik suddenly felt like this exact moment made something in him heal.

Erik felt breathless all of a sudden.

For some insane reason, the dusty and dim corridor in an unnamed cheap hotel seemed like the most beautiful place he had ever been in in his whole life.

Erik had to swallow hard, because he suddenly had the most absurd thought of being glad to be alive. Right here, his back slightly against the wall behind him, having Charles leaning against him and his breathing flowing to Erik's face, Erik felt...

like he was at home.

Despite never having one.

It was like a nameless emotion that he had no definition for, no measure.

And Erik could sense those few seconds burning into his memories with great detail.

Erik's thoughts were interrupted by Charles, who seemed to fail at keeping his balance, so after some unsuccessful wobbling he fell against Erik all of a sudden, huffing. He seemed to dismiss their earlier conversation completely, and return to his cheery chatting. -Sorry about this. I'd say it's my bad, but it's really yours," he said. He cursed a little and his grip on Erik tightened, and his face fell partly against Erik's shoulder, partly against his neck.

Erik felt goosebumps crawling on his skin as Charles' eyelashes brushed the tender skin right above his pulse.

-I think I just stepped on your toes," Charles commented in vague surprise. Then he smiled against Erik's neck, and huffed a laugh that made Erik shiver. -Serves you right. Oh the irony," he added with a chuckle.

Erik stared at the wall opposite of him, blinking hard. He had barely even noticed that Charles had, in fact, stepped on his toes. Erik tried to gather his thoughts, and cleared his throat. -Right. Let's...lets found ourselves somewhere to stay," he mumbled absently, feeling like his cheeks burned a little.

-Come on," he said and nudged Charles a little. Charles slowly arranged himself towards the stairs again.

Erik silenced his loud thoughts as they went on.

* * *

When they reached the third floor, Charles leant more heavily on him. Fortunately Erik knew how to pick a lock without his powers, and after two doors, he found one room that didn't have random clothes lying around and clearly wasn't vacated at the moment.

Erik knew that they would be spotted sooner or later, but right now he didn't care.

When they finally got in, Erik shut the door and made Charles sit on the bed. Erik moved to secure the door with a chair jammed against the doorhandle. It would at least give them a warning if someone was coming.

Charles looked at his work with vague curiosity. In the better light, Erik could spot that he looked a bit pale, and his eyes didn't look any better either.

-I think you should lay down," Erik said as he inspected the rest of the room.

Charles huffed. -Now that I can use my legs? I feel like going out for a jog. I used to jog for miles with Hank, remember? I loved it. Still would."

Erik sighed. -You're a little out of it, Charles, if you forgot it already. So no, we are not going anywhere."

Charles frowned. -I guess you're right." he said and turned towards the bed. After a moment, he did crawl on top of it and let himself fall onto the pillows. He looked at the ceiling, clearly thinking about something. Erik didn't feel like asking, because he would probably get a bizarre answer.

-You know you'll get a bit high too, right?" Charles said. -It just probably takes you longer."

Erik froze and stared at him for a moment. -What?" he asked sharply.

Charles sighed. -Yes. The serum had an effect on you, didn't it? You lost all of your muscle control for a while. But not as quickly as I blacked out, despite I got the dose a bit later than you," he explained. Erik looked at him, confused. -Oh don't look so shocked, Erik. You'll probably get a bit of a high in a while, and then it will be gone."

Erik shook his head. -No, it _is_ a big deal, Charles. We can't both be up in the clouds if the Chimera managed to follow us here. And might I remind you that my powers don't work."

-Mine don't either. So we're even," Charles commented cheerfully, like they were talking about the weather.

-You really can't understand the seriousness of the situation right now, Charles," Erik said, irritated. -You're drugged, remember?"

Charles looked at him, and looked like he was about to say something, but then got distracted. -Why is it so cold in here?" he asked, and slumped deeper in the sheets.

Erik glanced the room. -It's not," he said. The room was even a bit warmer than their earlier one. -Are you cold?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Charles drew one of the duvets on top of himself clumsily. -Yes." he mumbled as he buried himself to the bed.

Erik wasn't sure if this was something to worry about or not. Charles sighed into the pillow. -I had forgotten the cold part."

-What cold part?"

-The part where I feel cold. Really cold," Charles explained helpfully and closed his eyes. -Just going to get colder." he muttered.

* * *

After a few hours, Erik had to witness just what the 'cold part' meant.

Soon Charles was shivering from cold, despite two duvets and one blanket on top of him. Erik searched the drawers and closets, but couldn't find any more of them to give Charles. So he had to just stand back and wait around, and tried to spend his time trying to figure out some kind of plan. He came up with none, and his powers didn't return either, no matter how anxiously he waited.

Also, Charles had also been right about the serum's effects on him too. Erik started to feel strange after some time, and the room and the shapes tilted in odd ways. His fears and worries dulled somewhat, and Erik realized that he was remotely drugged too. It made it harder to just sit there and be alerted all the time. He knew that he shouldn't let his guard down, but then again he felt a bit sick just to be horizontal. So in the end Erik just gave up and sat on the bed.

Strands of dark hair were sticking from under a blanket, and they were the only current signs of Charles, since he had buried himself below the duvets and stayed there for a long time now.

Erik tried to call his name, but got no answer. So no matter how ridiculous he felt, Erik had to lift the edge of the duvets and look under them, only to find Charles lying there with bleary look on his eyes and pupils as blown as ever.

-Come to join me?" Charles mumbled, but his question fell flat when strong shivers passed through his body.

It didn't look good. Erik could only trust in Charles' word that all the symptoms should pass sooner or later.

-How are you feeling?" Erik asked, noting some faint cold sweat on Charles' forehead. Charles sighed and slumped even deeper to the bed. -Like my telepathy is coming back." he said as another shiver shook his body.

Erik nodded and left the covers a bit on the side so he could still feel Charles' face.

But sitting up made Erik feel a bit nauseous, so in the end, he just gave up and flopped to the bed too. Charles threw some of the covers on top of him, and Erik startled.

-I'm not cold," he said, surprised, about to push the covers away again. Charles reached his hand to Erik's arm, finding some bare skin, and pressed it there for a while. Charles' hand was ice-cold. -You're right," Charles said. -You're warm," he said happily and before Erik had any time to react, he pushed himself next to Erik and curled against his side.

Erik just stared, but Charles just nuzzled his face into his shoulder and pulled the covers closer. He let out a satisfied sigh as he settled there. Erik was about to protest, but then he felt Charles radiating so much coldness that he kept quiet. Another boundary might have been just crossed, but Erik decided just to go along with it.

After some time, Charles' shivers quieted down, bit by bit.

It was too warm for Erik, but he didn't push the covers away. He didn't want Charles to freeze to death, after all.

Erik dozed off after a while, and some time passed in complete silence.

* * *

Erik was alerted by Charles moving next to him, and Erik flickered his eyes open. He turned towards Charles, only to find their faces just inches away from each other.

Charles was looking at him. -Your eyes look odd," Charles said.

-Then it makes two of us," Erik replied, throat hoarse for being quiet so long.

He must have fallen asleep for like an hour or so.

Charles had stopped shivering, and was instead studying Erik. -Can you hear it?" Charles suddenly asked.

-Hear what?" Erik asked, about to jump into all kinds of dangerous scenarios of soldiers trying to find them again.

-The link," Charles replied, and Erik' mind relaxed. Charles let out a small smile. -It's...making a noise."

Erik listened, but couldn't really hear anything. -Shouldn't the link be...switched off? Now that your telepathy is blocked?"

Charles shrugged. -It can't be completely switched off. It's not broken, just...muted. It's not your like fingers stop existing even if you don't move them. It's there. And growing stronger. Interesting."

Erik raised an eyebrow. -But...what about your telepathy?"

-Mostly gone." Then Charles turned to look more serious. -But it might...cause some problems when it'll coming back. At times."

-Problems?"

Charles swallowed. -Remember the cabin?"

Erik's eyes widened as he jumped into the worst conclusion. -You're not going to stop a whole city again on its tracks, are you?"

Charles shook his head quickly. -No. Not likely. I built my shields after that, remember? They should...they should stop me getting that much out of hand. At least in reaching outward."

Erik was once again reminded of the fact that he sometimes forgot how powerful Charles truly were. It was somewhat terrifying if he spent too much thinking about it. So he decided not to.

-But smaller things might occur," Charles said, quietly. -I'm afraid you'll see soon what I mean."

* * *

In the next few hours, Charles' telepathy was partly coming back, and as a result, he was dragged into an almost catatonic state. He had stopped shivering, but he was losing his cheeriness and getting more serious. Erik's powers hadn't - disturbingly - come back. But there was nothing that could be done about that right now, so they were just lying there in silence. Their link had partly come back alive again, and started humming quietly.

Erik turned his head towards Charles, and felt a rush of worry again. Charles looked like he was struggling. -Charles?" he called. -Are you...are you alright?"

Charles flickered his eyes open slowly. He seemed to be too tired to try and assure Erik that he was fine. -My skin is oversensitive. So is my mind," he said. -I feel...a bit dizzy."

Erik didn't like to hear that, but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. Charles let his eyelids fall shut again. Erik was about to open his mouth to talk when his own arm suddenly moved on its own accord. Erik gasped and could only stare at in surprise as his arm reached for the bed covers and pulled them closer. It felt surreal, because he could feel his muscles working, but not by his commands. Erik's surprised gasp Charles open his eyes, and he only then seemed to realize what has happened.

-Oh...I'm sorry," he said, looking as startled as Erik. -I...I didn't mean to..." He licked his lips and looked pained. -It's hard for me to know make our minds or bodies apart without feeling my shields," he said. -I meant to do that myself."

Erik just stared at him, confused. His arm felt like his own again, and Erik clutched his fingers into a fist and opened them again to be sure. He tried to remind himself that it took effort from Charles to stay out of people's minds and bodies, and not the other way around.

-I'm sorry that you had to see me like this, Erik." Charles said, looking away.

Erik turned to his side, and was about to answer when he accidentally brushed Charles' hand with his own. Charles let out a suffocated gasp and threw his head back against the pillow.

-What, what?" Erik asked hurriedly. Charles lifted his hand against his chest as if it was burning, staring Erik almost a feverish look. -It's...like I said," he said with a strained voice. -My skin is oversensitive. It's a flaw in the serum. It's supposed to bring sensation in my legs, but it does so everywhere." he explained. He swallowed hard, trying to relax back against the sheets.

It made a lot of sense. Erik felt a little fascinated that the serum could do that, and he briefly wondered if the same thing occur with himself, too.

-Aren't you...aren't you afraid of this?" Charles asked all of a sudden, looking vulnerable. -Of me, right now?"

Erik was taken aback by the question. -Why would I?"

Charles looked pained. -Because...because I could accidentally wipe your mind. Or make you into a half-wit or...or braindead. Or take over your body. Anything."

Erik sighed. He gave Charles a thoughtful look. -Well, are you afraid of me?"

Charles looked, in turn, confused. Erik shrugged. -I mean, when I have my powers."

Charles shitfted carefully on the bed, and looked serious. -No, Erik. I'm not afraid of you. Not...not when it comes to myself. I know you wouldn't hurt me. Others, maybe - but not me, no."

Erik felt satisfied to hear that. -There you go, then."

Charles seemed to give it a thought. They fell into silence again.

* * *

As much as Erik hated it, as more time passed, his own skin started to feel oversensitive too, and he felt cold. He would have never let Charles know, but Charles noticed him shivering a little, and simply pressed closer to him, sharing some body heat.

It was odd, being so close to Charles when every nerve ending in Erik's skin felt like it was about to burst. He felt restless, and like he was in terrible need of something, but couldn't tell what. Their link grew stronger, and the first few telepathic noises - even if very, very faint - slipped to Erik's head from Charles' end.

Still, Erik could feel Charles moving his legs a little at times, so they weren't lost yet and his telepathy wasn't completely restored.

They were somewhere in the middle of the serum running its course, Erik wondered.

Erik fell into an odd state where he could feel every single one of his heartbeats in his ears, and it seemed to pulsate everywhere. His body was oversensitive, and he could make out every millimetre of the sheets around him - how the fabric and the wrinkles in it pressed into him . and every sensation every touch brought to him. Feeling cold and shivering at times was making it worse, because he got involuntary movements that naturally caused lightning-like spikes of touch into his brain and he couldn't help but to gasp.

It was something between intoxicating and downright horrible, and Erik couldn't decide which. His partly-drugged brain was too confused to decide.

Charles felt warm next to him now, since he wasn't cold anymore, but Erik stopped himself for going closer. He was afraid of what could happen if he actually had some lingering skin contact with Charles because of the current hypersensitivity. Even getting any brief touches to the bed made him writhe from time to time.

He tried to stay as still as possible.

Charles muttered apologies as their link grew stronger and Charles' presence slipped into Erik's brain accidentally. His normal shields weren't blocking their minds from each other. Charles' visits in Erik's head were very quick since Charles forced himself to withdraw repeatedly, but each and every one of those visits left Erik feeling like his mind was layered with gunpowder that could go off anytime and explode. He craved the meld as always, but he was too afraid to to even consider doing it right now, with both of them drugged into their current states.

But as time went on and Charles' telepathy got slightly stronger, Charles kept slipping more often to Erik's head. -I can't control it, I'm sorry," he whispered.

Erik just stared at the ceiling, dazed. He felt surreal, because he could feel Charles' warm presence inside his head, and their link humming. Sometimes Erik felt his own hands moving without his own commands, like pulling the covers into a better position. He knew Charles wasn't doing it on purpose, so he stopped himself from mentiong it.

Despite Erik knew that this was not a good thing happening, he couldn't help himself getting lost to the moment. He was peaceful, in a way. Like Charles had described this earlier, all of his worries and troublesome fears were gone because of the serum. Everything wrong in the world had dulled into a meaningless heap, and Erik felt...good. He knew it was the serum tricking him into it, but he didn't care.

He had spent ten years in prison, without any human contact - proper one, at least. He hadn't been talked to, not really - occasional irrogations didn't count. There had been no visitors allowed. He hadn't even been touched physically by anyone - as if his body had become just air, or insivible at some point. No matter how strong Erik considered himself to be - how indifferent to any needs or urges - he was - ironically - only human in that sense. Having someone close, next to him, without his life being threatened was a luxury he hadn't had in a very, very long time.

He hated to like it.

It was ridiculous, really.

In the longer run, Erik felt stiff for lying on his back for so long. So despite the sensory overload he knew he was going to get from moving himself even the slightest, he turned himself on his side. Charles opened his eyes, and looked at him. Erik spent some time shivering as his nerves and muscles twitched and trembled, and his skin was crawling with electricity all over.

The room had gone dark as the evening had went on, and Erik distantly noted it was raining again. The one, dusty lamp on the nightstand threw long shadows onto the room.

Charles' pupils were still too wide, too dark, but he seemed to be mostly back to himself again. He was looking at Erik with an unreadable look.

Erik felt waves of thousands nerve endings still firing now that he had moved himself, and his whole world seemed so vibrant, so detailed, that he almost felt overwhelmed.

Charles looked like he was concentrating on something, hard.

Erik threw him a questioning look, and his confusion spread through their link.

_The link is trying to meld our minds together,_ Charles' quiet voice explained in Erik's head. Erik was surprised that he could hear Charles' telepathical voice again - clearly some of the serum was already wearing off. But then he realized what Charles had actually said, and swallowed nervously.

-I'm trying my best to stop if from happening. I...I don't know what would happen if that came to pass," Charles said. -But...without my shields, I can't..." he said, voice fading. He looked tired, and pressed his head deeper into the pillow. Few strands of his hair dropped in front of his face, and then several things happened at the same time. Erik guessed instinctively that Charles was going to swipe the few hairs away, and Charles' mind recognized the idea, but without the shields, it was Erik's hand that rose from the bed and reached to move them.

Before either of them realized that their minds were working too much in synch, Erik had brushed the hair away but accidentally swiped Charles' skin and suddenly firy, burning sparks exploded in their brains for the mutual touch, and lit up with blinding power. Erik's eyesight blackened for a moment, and he was left gasping for air, his oversensitive skin pulsating with impulses and his brain mixing them with Charles'.

He was left panting. It was truly something Erik had never before experienced in his life, and it took him a long while before he was coherent enough to even see straight.

_Charles?"_ he sent shakily. _Are you alright?_

Charles only sent an unverbalized thought of agreement, clearly too stunned to do anything else. Erik wondered what would even happen if there was a proper touch between them instead of a simple brief brush, but quickly silenced the train of thought. Erik turned his head back towards Charles, even as much as his oversensitive skin was like on fire because of the simple movement, and he shivered almost violently in the after-waves of their brief contact.

Erik landed his eyes on Charles. Charles' lips were slightly apart, and he was breathing hard, head thrown back to the pillow, his too-black pupils unseeing - like he was hard not to lose control of something.

Erik bit his lip and for a moment it felt like every bit of their time together since the Chimera was muddled together, and every single thought he ever had had since that day passed through him like a stream. Erik was left breathless, because he felt emotions surging forward - protectiveness, affection, irritation, frustation, yearning - and they mixed together and made him tremble in his place.

He vaguely concluded that the drug was affecting his mind, too, quieting down all of his normally suppressed thoughts and urges.

Now they were all there - it was as like his whole brain was awake and chaotic in an ecstatic way.

Never in his life had Erik felt like that like right in that moment, and he could feel the link almost singing between their minds, because their overheightened bodies and minds were too much to bear and Erik felt like he couldn't breathe, and he could hear Charles' heartbeat in his head, and his distant telepathy, and how much Charles was trying to keep it altogether without his shields and with his serum-dulled mind.

Erik stared, stunned, having four eyes and two bodies and only one mind, and feeling like there heated needles stinging him everywhere.

Charles was trying to hold on so badly, Erik could feel it, but it was like they were dragged under strong waves, and Charles had too little amount of shields and his mind was still too sluggish from the serum.

Erik felt stiff as a violin string, too afraid to even breathe.

But then something in Charles' resistance faltered, only for a nanosecond, but it was enough to broke the dam. Charles' weak control slipped and without a warning, Erik felt their minds clashing together with such speed that it almost knocked him out, like two speeding cars. And Erik gasped in pain and squirmed instinctively, only to realize too late that he was leaning on his side and falling forward on the bed towards Charles, and -

then some parts of their skin touched.

Erik's whole body felt like it was thrown into a sea of flames. He didn't know if he was screaming or muted into shocked silence, because suddenly their minds were melding without any of Charles' usual control. There were supernovas and nebulas born in an instant, and Erik was certain that he wouldn't be able to stand this, that his heart would fail and stop and he would die right here. The meld wasn't safe or calm or slow like it had been those two times before, it was instant and hot and burning and restless. Consuming. Erik felt breathless, like he was drowning and being revived at the same time.

He lost the track of time, and all of his normal logic and inhibitions were gone, just swiped away and lost.

Erik didn't know what was real and what was not - his skin was singing as if he was reaching forward with his arms and there were fingers caressing their surface, and his legs were tangled somewhere and Erik's face was buried against something soft, and he tasted something in his mouth and teeth that was wet and warm, and it wasn't air.

He felt like he was embracing an inferno, because there were so many touches and sensations everywhere that he just kept shivering, and the only detail Erik realized that he had curled his fingers around a fistful of Charles' hair and their faces were far closer than they probably should have, and their pupils were blown but blind to the world itself, because they saw each other in a far more intimate way through their minds, like seeing to each other's souls.

There were sounds, their link alive like an alive organism, and Erik lost all of his coherent thoughts and sense of himself. His muscles constrained as if they were about to snap, and he wasn't sure if he was moving or not. He felt like he was falling, and pulling something closer to himself. The smell of dust from the sheets filled his nostrils and took over his mind like it was the most intense smell he had ever felt.

He didn't know which way was up and which was down, there was just sheets and warmth and a map of somethings pressed to his cheek, but Erik didn't have any coherent concept of it right now.

It was like a slow, insane dance in a smoky room, that was too much and too little at the same time.

_Erik_, came Chares' shivering voice, and it echoed everywhere but also sounded like it was whispered straight into his ear. It sounded like Charles was trying to pull them back to the surface, but in the end didn't even try. Like he was as defeated in this fight as much as Erik was, and just taking everything in.

Erik's eyelashes brushed something, and he felt like he was in a trance, his unconscious mind suddenly taking the control and drinking in everything it had ever wanted.

Erik had the oddest, quick flash of sensing Charles' legs moving, and his own hand dragging against the warm skin of a neck and feeling the unhealed small needle wound there. There might have been one last quick flash of Charles trying to regain some control, but Erik just knew that it would never happen.

Erik didn't even know that feeling like this was possible.

His brain felt like it was exploding in a chain reaction.

Erik thought that he would be lost into this abyss, that he could not possibly be an unique person anymore. He had no idea where Charles ended and he started, physically or telepathically, or what part of the meld was what.

He saw and felt too much, and almost felt like he would get knocked out because of it. And there was heat from the flames and the suns hiding in the galaxies of the meld and it was building into too much, into something unbearable, and Erik wondered if this was the way he would die.

He found that he didn't really mind. He was unable to.

Because he felt like someone was bending his body and mind like a twig, bending it forward and forward, waiting to see what was too much and when he would snap.

Erik knew he was going to hit a breaking point soon, that every bit of automatic resistance would fade.

There were echoes from every moment they had ever spent together -_  
"What do you know about me?" - "Everything."  
"You'd rather take me as I am, Erik?" - "I'd take you exactly as you've always been._ _Flaws and ridiculous ideologies and everything,"_  
and whispers and voices and sensations muddled together.

But there was one of them that was overriding everything, that was burning like the brightest beacon - it was the one fragile moment from the hallway just a few hours ago with Charles looking up to Erik with his too blue eyes - _"otherwise you wouldn't be so unhappy_ "- and the way his breaths had felt against Erik's skin -  
-_ "What makes you think I'm lonely?" - "Because Erik, you keep coming back to me_".

Erik's nerve endings made electric shocks go through him - or then they were from Charles, or both of them. There was something rhythmic in it, but then again it made no sense at all.

Or maybe there was no Charles and no Erik anymore, and they had become a just skin and flesh and heat together.

Then, the pressure built itself into its peak and everything just,

_snapped_

and it was the whitest, hottest part of a flame that consumed Erik and swallowed him. For a blinding moment, he stopped existing, and had Erik been able to think any thoughts, he had probably wondered if he had become braindead. Maybe that was what happened when you became one with one of the most powerful telepaths in the world - when you had him in every way there ever was invented in human history, and even in unnamed ways too.

Erik was drowned under waves and vibrating ribbons of iron, starlight and atoms that seemed to meld together so perfectly that they almost resetted themselves into their non-existent state.

For a very brief moment, Erik thought he caught the most vague sensation of a concept he had once known as bed, and his own body wrapped in an odd mess of limbs on top of it, but then it was gone too.

He felt no sorrow, no pain.

He felt perfect. And whole. Beating hearts and blood, flesh and bones. Alive. Heavenly. White, blank warmth.

Then he felt like nothing at all.


	25. Chapter 25

For a very long time, Erik didn't know who he was, where he was or why.

He had no track of time, space or reality.

He was like a tabula rasa, and empty painting, that had to draw its colours and shapes slowly back into itself.

After what felt like a small eternity, he started to regain some sensations. Vague, at first - then stronger. He remembered he had a body. And a mind. And memories. Slowly, they started to crawl back to him. Erik's awareness sharpened and shifted, as if he was shapeable wax that was trying to get back to its orignal form.

Erik's first solid realization and coherent thought was that he was in a bed.

He felt warm, but there was a nagging thought at the back of his mind, as if he should remember something he just couldn't. The sensation of his arms and legs returned, albeit slowly, and Erik started to remember what even had happened. His own life and memories became in as rushes, and soon he was struck with a picture of him and Charles in their drugged haze, and the way their minds had crashed.

Erik fluttered his eyelids open, seeing nothing for a very long time.

He felt like he had been hit an atomic bomb that had gone off inside his head. But his body was filled with some odd sense of euphoria at the same time. It was the most interesting contrast.

When the room slowly started to visualize, Erik realized that it was sometime in the middle of the night. It was dark, and only the one small nightstand lamp was giving light. It was raining again.

He felt completely limp in a safisfied way. It was like all the tension from his muscles had drained, and he was left with a peaceful state.

It was only then when Erik noticed that his arms and legs were tangled with someone else's, and Erik blinked in dull surprise to find himself wrapped around Charles. Charles' head was resting against his shoulder, arms drawn next to his own chest. Erik had no memory of moving into this position - they had even swapped sides at the bed. Erik swallowed as he felt a ghost of a touch in his wrists and arms - as if his skin remembered something his consciousness didn't. Erik's lips were throbbing a little, too, for some unexplainable reason.

Erik briefly wondered if he should pull away, but realized that his limbs felt too heavy to do it. He was almost holding Charles in an embrace, and it felt both extremely strange and oddly...alright. Charles was still asleep - or passed out from whatever had happened after their minds had melded - and Erik didn't dare to try and wake him up. Charles' warm presence was still lingering in the back of Erik's head, but it felt different than before. As if it was more permanent now, somehow.

Erik took a long breath.

He honestly didn't know what to think. He remembered their minds mixing into each other without any of Charles' shields or control, and his own brain's inhibitions just melting away like they hadn't ever been there in the first place. Erik hated to admit it, but he felt satisfied in a very primitive way. The meld had been so complete, so utterly flawless that Erik was surprised they had ever come out of it at all as separate beings. He barely could believe that something like that could even exist - when he tried to recall it, it felt as infinite as trying to imagine the whole outer space with one thought. There were only very vague and brief flashes from here and there - Erik could remember skin and heat and rhytm, and taking a grip from Charles' hair, but that was about it.

It was like his body remembered, but his mind didn't.

Erik decided to trust that he hadn't done anything to hurt Charles - a small voice deep inside his mind was whispering to him that it had been quite the opposite - and stop wondering about it. Erik had never been someone who liked to lose control, but he just couldn't deny the complete satisfaction that echoed in his body right now.

He spent a long while just staring at the ceiling, listening to the rain, and getting more and more of his own brain back into action.

Charles was breathing slowly but regularly, so Erik concluded he was just asleep.

Erik had suddenly time to reflect on the situation.

For a moment, he didn't want to worry about the Chimera. Or Brotherhood. Because somehow, Erik felt like he wanted to push those things away from his mind and life. Even if only for a short while. It was strange, but this simple moment felt more precious to him than many victories he had experienced with his Brotherhood along the way. It made absolutely no sense, but...Erik wasn't defined by anyone right now. He wasn't Magneto. He wasn't a leader. Or a Holocaust survivor. He wasn't the public enemy either. Or even a mutant.

He just...was.

It was liberating to just lay there and breathe in and out and be Erik Lehnshnerr. Without barriers or limitations.

Erik had no judgemental or prying eyes staring at him. Nobody was watching him or his thoughts, and the privacy felt almost intoxicating. He memorized the feeling of the pillow under him, and the dirty ceiling, the exact weight of Charles' left leg partly sprawled on top of his own. The way the dusty air tasted, how it flowed in and out.

How his ribs were still distantly aching, and how his broken knuckles felt.

The way the rain sounded like when it hit the window in a slightly tilted angle.

Erik carefully moved his free arm and pulled the duvet closer on top of himself and Charles. Charles was vaguely alerted by the sudden movement, and he let out a soft sound and shifted a little against Erik. However, Erik noted that Charles' legs didn't even twitch. It seemed they were lost again, even if it was encouraging to know that the serum had clearly almost worn off.

Erik stayed still, waiting Charles to settle. But for some reason, something seemed to draw Charles away from sleep, and he blinked blurrily. Erik's pulse quickened and he held his breath as Charles took a moment to adjust his eyes. Then he turned his head a little, looking at Erik, bleary from sleep, but Erik noted with satisfaction that his pupils had almost gone back to normal. Charles sent an unverbalized question towards Erik, that was asking if he was alright. Erik just nodded, and Charles seemed to be satisfied to hear it.

Then he simply dropped his head back on Erik's shoulder again, like he wasn't the least bothered how close they were, and closed his eyes.

Erik waited Charles to scramble up and realize how intimately they were lying there, or freak out because of the obvious fact that the mind meld had been a lot more profound than ever before, but Charles didn't open his eyes again or move. Of course all kinds of boundaries had been crossed during their time together after the labs, but this - this was something else.

Erik licked his lips. The skin on them felt oddly tender.

It took a long while until his pulse quieted back to normal.

Right before Erik started to drift off to sleep again, he moved his slightly stiff arm, and Charles' fingers curled sleepily against the duvet. He felt warm against Erik, and Erik had the strongest flood of protectiveness washing over him. He just knew with certainty that he would be ready to do anything to keep Charles safe. It was almost scary how easily the thought came to him. Erik hadn't been dealt with many good things in his life, but meeting Charles Xavier had clearly been an exception to that.

Erik glanced at Charles' still healing cheek, and his messy dark hair.

He was just about to turn away when suddenly Charles shifted his head in his sleep, almost as if he was sensing Erik's distracted thoughts - and moved his head a bit upwards, pressing it almost against Erik's face. Erik froze, taken aback by the sudden proximity - his jaw was brushing one of Charle's brows, and he when he took a breath, his lips ghosted over Charles' forehead. He felt his own breathing bouncing back at him, hot and clipped.

Erik had had his fair share of intimate moments in his life, but nobody had ever gotten under his skin. It had been just biology and urges, satisfied. It had been pleasurable, but none of those people have left their imprint on Erik. There wasn't anyone he thought about years after, no one he craved to meet again. Not even Raven - not in that sense.

This kind of trust - like Charles was showing him by just sleeping there where Erik could easily crush him or hurt him or kill him if he wanted to - was unique. And no one before in Erik's life had made such a simple gesture as proximity feel like his breaths could get stuck into his throat.

It made no sense, followed no logic.

Erik had held himself above having a sentiment for anyone.

He had always thought that it was a false concept - a naive human fantasy about being so transfixed to someone else that they could truly capture you completely.

But some of it seemed to make an awful lot of sense now.

Erik had always taken pride in the fact that anyone could break his body or abuse it, but they would never get into his head. Because he was Magneto, and he was untouchable, and nobody could make him do anything. Beat him to shreds, fine - Erik had gotten used to pain in the camps already. But no matter how many interrogators and enemies had tried to get an emotional reaction out of Erik, tried to lure his fears or sentiments out of him so they could use them against him - they had failed. Because there had been nothing. Magneto had always been the best Frankenstein's monster - Shaw had made sure of that. You can't break something that's been already broken.

But now, Erik's stomach tightened into knots. Horrible, nagging dread spread over there, because he couldn't deny that there was something in him that had healed in these past months. Something small, and maybe not that significant, but it was there. Erik realized with reluctance that he now had a soft spot, a breaking point, a crack in his formerly invincible armour.

And in that private moment, Erik could admit he was afraid.

Not because of the Chimera's existence, not because of his currently missing powers. It was far more simpler and destructive than that. Charles had somehow gotten a hold over Erik, stronger than anyone else, without forcing or seeking for it. Charles had treated him with such kindness and respect, as if Erik was truly the better person Charles believed him to be - and even if Erik didn't deserve it. He deserved none of it - not Charles' forgiveness, or his hope, or his empathy. But he had it anyway, and he had Charles right here, and Charles had melted into his mind and body. Erik felt like he had a grenade inside his chest and he had willingly given the pin to Charles. Maybe it was self-destructive and dangerous, and yet Erik had all the trust in the world that Charles wouldn't ever use that against him. That was just the way he was. Kind and altruistic Charles, with his passion for humankind and annoying views.

But so breakable, so easily taken away.

And that was exactly what made Erik's insides go black with fear - the fact that anyone could use this against him now. That they had leverage over him. That his enemies had a pathway to his heart - the heart that he had often claimed he didn't have.

Magneto had driven himself into a trap.

_"I do not think caring is a weakness"_, Charles had once told him.

It was, Erik thought to himself. It _was_. He never had had a problem with that before. Not really. But look at him now. And the problem was that it didn't feel like _caring_. Caring was what Erik felt for Leap - that the young teleporter was a decent mutant, and somewhat bearable, and that Erik would fight for him if required. But if Leap became a casualty in this war, Erik wouldn't grieve for him.

What did they call this then - that Erik would be ready to rip cities out of their hinges for Charles? That he had felt like he was being torn to bits when for that brief moment he had thought Charles had been gone?

It was...insane.

The sheer level of it. The volume it - it seemed almost as stronger as all the hate pent up inside Erik. And nothing, simply _nothing_, in Erik's life had ever matched his hatred. How could there even be anything stronger than that? What could even compete with that?

Erik squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, lost in the way his still oversensitive lips throbbed against the warm skin on Charles' forehead.

In this horrible and blood-thirsty world around them, this was the biggest mistake Erik had ever done - becoming so wrapped with Charles that the mere thought of him losing him made Erik feel like throwing up.

Because no matter how many times Erik promised himself that they wouldn't get to Charles - _over my dead body_ - he couldn't fully believe his own words.

The Chimera was too powerful, too dangerous.

Erik felt like he wanted to find a safe place for both of them and hide there, and he felt like a coward for ever even entering the idea.

He was such a hypocrite.

Erik cursed himself for ever letting this happen, for allowing himself ever to mend all the broken things between him and Charles. For allowing himself to feel good again. Almost...happy. Things had been easier when there had just been hate and bitterness, and guilt so strong that it had made Erik feel ill at times. Magneto wasn't meant to have good things. Magneto was supposed to Erik at his most perfect, beautifully flawless machine - built on disappointments and hurt. Anger had been his fuel, that's when his powers worked the best.

But instead, Erik felt like he had started orbiting around Charles, like he had gotten stuck to a planet's magnetic pull. The irony was so painful that Erik pulled his face into a wince - which resulted in his lips accidentally pressing against Charles' forehead.

Charles's sleeping mind send an unconscious flash of warmth towards Erik, and Erik's eyelids fluttered closed, accompanied by a desperate wheeze.

He was so doomed.

* * *

Many hours later, Erik woke up to the odd sensation in his gut that something wasn't right.

It was plain intuition, but it stirred him from his sleep and Erik hurried to sit, glancing at the room around him. Charles had turned to his other side, and was still asleep against the sheets, mop of hair messily lying on the pillow. Erik could clearly hear their link humming now, and Charles' distant telepathy rattling in the distance- it seemed to have fully returned now. Erik tried to listen to it if he happened to catch something suspicious. But he was no telepath and he couldn't navigate through the incoming noise, so Erik gave up trying.

Instead, he got up and hastily tried whether his powers were working by directing a command towards a metallic clock on the wall.

For his utter relief, the clock answered his call and dropped to the ground with a loud shattering noise, and Charles startled awake instantly.

_It's alright_, Erik sent distractedly as he rushed in front of the windows. He looked down at the street, but he couldn't spot anything off about it.

But there was a restless feeling in the pit of his stomach, and Erik glanced warily at the jammed door.

Charles pushed himself to sit, his mind and alertness sharpening as he sensed Erik's discomfort.

_What is it?,_ he sent to Erik.

Erik turned to him hesitantly. -Please check the corridor." he said in a quiet voice.

Charles just turned to look towards the door, eyes narrowing. He spent a few seconds just staring blankly, tilting his head as if he was listening intently.

-There's...there's nothing." Charles answered finally. -No static, no thoughts or visual memories of anything remotely suspicious that could be about the Chimera."

Erik felt his back stiffening. -Are you certain? Absolutely certain?" he asked, because no a worse feeling was creeping into his gut.

Charles gave him an odd look but turned to check the corridor again. He was quiet a long time, but then he just sagged a little. -No, Erik. There's nothing suspicious in this house, or the streets around it. I can't even detect the faint static of the helmets. We are alone in here."

Erik nodded, but still didn't feel convinced.

_And your powers are working again, aren't they?_, Charles asked.

_Yes._ Erik answered, and would have felt more grateful if there wasn't a poisonous dread welling somewhere inside of him.

-I think we should..." Erik said but then his voice faded when he detected some kind of metal twisting somewhere on the wall. Erik furrowed his brows and turned to stare at the ceiling and looked anything that could have caused it. There had barely been any sound - Erik had only felt it mostly with his powers. He scanned the wall and ceiling with his eyes, but there was nothing unnatural about it.

Charles followed his gaze. _What?_

Erik didn't answer, just kept trying to make some sense into the sound. It could have been nothing, just the plumbing making a noise or something.

Erik only spotted one of the air ventilation filters on the place he had felt something flicking, like a switch. Maybe the hotel had just put their air conditioning on. It was probably that simple, and so normal. Erik's alarmed state relaxed significantly when he concluded that it must be the case.

There was nothing wrong in the room, Erik told himself - just an odd dusty smell that had probably been caused by the fact that there hadn't been too much air going in and out of it in a long time.

Erik took a step towards the door when suddenly his balance faltered just a little. He came to a halt and thought nothing much of it, and just continued walking.

But now the air tasted odd somehow; it caught his attention. Erik lifted his head into the air and inhaled through his nostrils. There was something very vague, but smelled sweet. Sickeningly sweet, like a chemical of some sort.

Erik stood there, raising his eyebrows, and felt how his balance staggered again, and the awful feeling returned with a rush.

Then it suddenly clicked.

Erik turned around and threw an outraged gaze at the wall. -They're...the air ventilation. They're...they're putting something through it." he said and coughed in anger, as his vision swam dangerously. Whatever the thing was, it was working really fast.

-Hold your breath!" Erik shouted and rushed towards Charles. Charles seemed to have noticed the odd smell and the quickly developing symptoms too, and snapped his mouth shut. Erik wished so badly that Charles could walk right now, because it would have made their escape out of the room so much quicker. Erik's best guess and hope was that only their room was attacked, not the whole building. He truly hoped so, otherwise they would never make it to the street.

Erik tried to reach frantically with his power to shut the air ventilation off, but the invisible gas in the air was making his sense of direction blurry. Erik almost crashed against the bed, but kept going nonetheless and reached for Charles, trying to pull him up. But whatever the gas was, if was way too fast. Erik's grip faltered and he ended up crashing to the floor, pulling Charles with him, his sense of direction going haywire, shapes tilting in odd ways and looking smoky.

_Leave me behind, Erik_, Charles' strong voice rang to Erik's head demandingly. _Do it._

_No, _Erik replied, gritting his teeth, trying to scramble back up.

_I'm slowing you down, _Charles said in irritation.

Erik tried to fight back the disorientation as he desperately tried to pull Charles up, only realizing that there was no way they would make it into the door in time. His consciousness was quickly faltering and fading.

_Erik, Ieave!_, Charles' angry voice rang inside his head.

_NO. Shut up. I'm not leaving you_, Erik grunted back and cursed in German inside his head. He managed to start dragging them forward a little, but his feet were more than unsteady. Erik caught the briefest looks on Charles' eyes, and normally he would have ignored it- but Charles looked so breath-takingly gentle all of sudden. Erik forgot everything he was doing. He instantly knew that something was wrong, that there was something final in the way Charles was looking at him.

_Goodbye, Erik,_ Charles whispered to his mind. Erik only had time to widen his eyes in horror before he realized his own limbs were moving on their own accord. Erik could only watch as his own hands let go of Charles, and his feet started to make their way towards the door.

_No. NO. NO. Don't! Charles! No!,_ Erik screamed inside his head, trying to fight back, but Charles had taken over his movements and there was nothing he could do.

Erik felt panic flaring inside of him as he approached the jammed door. He was still holding his breath, his lungs feeling too tight and empty, and Erik felt like an outsider in his own body when his arms tore the chair away and he clumsily got the door open.

_Let go of me! Charles!, _Erik screamed louder than he ever had before. _Don't you do this!_

_There's no reason to let them have us both, _Charles disturbingly calm voice said.

Erik's body pushed itself out of the door, and he fell on the dirty corridor carpet. He drew a shaky breath, air running to his lungs after a too long pause. But Erik received no pleasure for breathing, his whole attention was on Charles who he couldn't even see anymore. _The minute you let me go, I'm going to get you out. You hear me? Don't you dare to sacrifice yourself, for fuck's sake! _

But as much as Erik hated it, his own limbs dragged him closer to safety, farther away from the room. His panic was deepening by the second.

_Let me GO!"_ Erik shouted, trying to fight back as hard as he could. But Charles' hold on him stayed, and Erik couldn't do anything - even if he had been a telepath, he probably would have been no match for Charles.

_Charles!, _Erik almost begged now.

But Erik got no answer, and the silence terrified him the most. Erik had now gotten several metres away from the door, and slided against a wall, dropping to sit. He was drawing hungry breaths and itching to go back to the room and drag Charles out of there. Erik started to cough uncontrollably.

_Charles!,_ Erik howled desperately inside his mind once again, eyes burning.

Charles wasn't gone - not yet - Erik could feel their link at the back of his mind.

But something suddenly caught Erik's attention, and he turned his head towards the stairs just in time to see four men in the dark Chimera outfits approaching him.

Erik's eyes narrowed in fury, and he glared daggers at the emotionless men coming towards him. Erik let out an angry scream, making all the metal plumbing explode from the walls next to the soldiers, shrieking purely out of fear and rage. Water broke out the walls, flooding to the floor and turning the corridor instantly a mess. Erik's power might have been disoriented, but it still was strong.

But the most horrifying part was the fact that Erik could feel Charles' control over him slipping, bit by bit, like it was fading into the blackness.

_Charles?_

Erik drew a shaky breath and took his helplessness out on the soldiers by lifting the broken plumbs and tried to pierce the soldiers with them. But there were too many of them, more of them coming from somewhere, and Erik couldn't mostly even see what he was doing and who he was aiming for.

Erik let out a snarl as he tried to attack the soldiers again and again, or to get up, but his body was useless.

He couldn't stop them, because they kept coming in. How on Earth had they even found them? It seemed impossible. It made no sense.

Erik fought back but the chemical he had breathed in had done its job too well. He was trapped to the floor.

Then finally one of the Chimera soldiers reached him, stopped to stand next to him and took out the similar weapon that they had held the day before. It was white and brutal - holding a syringe and needle inside. Erik tried to instantly twist the small pieces of metal inside them - the needle - but found that there was nothing to bend. The bastards had made the needles into some other material than metal, and Erik stared up to the faceless man in front of him from the floor.

-Have the decency to kill me here and now at least," Erik spat at him, rage gleaming from his eyes. -Do it, you coward!" Erik shouted so loudly that it hurt his throat, but nothing even twitched on the soldier's face that was partly buried under the helmet. Before Erik could do anything else, the soldier had pressed the weapon against his neck and the needle punctured his skin again.

Erik yelped in anger, feeling the serum starting to spread into his skin.

-Why do you bother drugging me? I'm not afraid of you," Erik said in a manic tone. -If you think you can break me, or torture me, you're wrong. It's no use. So kill me now and do yourselves a favor, whoever that is who is controlling this sick game. I now you can hear me, you traitor," Erik hissed and tried to look past the soldier's eyes, reaching deeper, and drill into the telepath who was using these mutants like puppets.

Erik's face twisted in disgust, and he spat to the soldier's legs. -You bastards!" He was taking too deep breaths now, and he already felt numbness spreading to his limbs. He was acting like a wounded and trapped animal, trying to intimidate the emotionless enemies before him, but Erik didn't care. He wasn't going to down quietly. Even if he couldn't use his powers anymore - they were instantly blocked. -I will rip you into pieces," Erik hissed and tried to kick the soldier guarding him, but his limbs were too far gone already.

Few of the soldiers had entered the room with gas masks on, and Erik's defiance faltered as he saw them dragging Charles into the corridor. Charles was unmoving and limp in their grip, and slumped to the floor with closed eyes as they let him go. Erik felt bile rising to his throat as he watched the soldiers pressing another syringe against Charles' neck too. Erik tried to frantically see a sign of life from Charles, to ensure that he was still alive. He had to be, right? He_ had_ to be. Otherwise they wouldn't have drugged him.

Erik tried to reach his hand to Charles, but managed to move his trembling hand only a few inches on the surface of the floor.

Erik swallowed hard, listening to their link in increasing panic.

He had to wait, and heighten his hearing, but fortunately he caught an echo of their link. Charles was alive. Charles was still _alive_. Erik felt a mad spark of hope taking over him. Charles wasnt't gone. Erik quickly threw all of his remaining strength to clung onto their link, forcing Charles to stay.

Erik's eyesight became grainy and all of the voices became too low and slow. He blinked blurrily to the soldiers. He stared at them, knowing that somewhere, that one telepath was holding all the strings. That whoever that was, they were waiting, watching. And since these soldiers hadn't killed them, Erik guessed they were getting captured.

The thought made him want to lash out, to scream, because he pictured that they would push needles into Charles' brain again and make him into Reach and they would torture them both.

And...and the idea was almost too sick to even think about, but Erik knew that they would use Charles against him, that the Chimera could get anything they wanted out of him if Charles' life was at stake.

Erik's worst nightmade had gone true.

The Chimera had gotten to them.

They were captured, and there was no way out.

Erik could feel blackness starting to take over, and distantly felt the soldiers starting to drag them away.

_Charles_, Erik called like a breathless prayer.

Then he succumbed into the darkness.


	26. Chapter 26

Erik woke up to extreme wave of nausea, and opened his eyes only to have them pierced by too white light.

For a moment he was sure he was back in his padded prison hell, that metal-free hellhole he had been locked in for ten years.

But then he realized that it wasn't true - that this was _worse_. It hit him like a lightning - that this was Chimera, and these people didn't even try to appear civil.

Erik lurched weakly forward, fighting the strong urge to vomit, and heaved air hungrily in as he tried to get himself back into control.

He could feel his face was covered in cold sweat, and his limbs felt stiff and heavy.

Erik had to hold his breath, and swallow several times as the nausea came in waves.

He opened his eyes, watering from the bright lights.

_Charles._

That was Erik's first coherent and urgent thought, and he snapped his eyes open despite how much it stung, and looked around the room in growing fear. He was lying against a wall in a white, simple room that had two windows on two walls. Erik could immediately see that one of them was a two-way window that they used in interrogation rooms - where the people outside could see in, but the person inside couldn't see through.

The room was surgically clean, simple and small. It smelled like bleach and the scent made Erik feel even more sick. He gagged and had to breathe through his mouth to keep himself together. He could feel the after effects of the drugs that had been put into his system pulsating in his veins, making him feel abused ang angry. Erik tried to find his powers somewhere, and noted with dull anxiety that they were gone.

Of course they were.

The Chimera wasn't stupid. Far from it - they were frighteningly smart.

Erik felt increasingly terrified about the fact that he wasn't dead. He _wasn't_ dead, and he wasn't reduced to a brainless shell by the helmets either. The Chimera had captured him_ alive_, clearly sparing him for something, and it made Erik's stomach twist into knots from fear. They surely hadn't spared his life because of mercy. These people were cruel beyond reason. Erik had been called many things in his life - a monster, murderer, sadist, psychopath - but he was sure that even he couldn't match with this organization and its brutality.

If Erik killed people, he did it fast. He spared no time for dramatics usually. It was quick and efficient. Erik got them out of the way. Even Shaw's death had been quick, no matter how many times Erik had fantasized about making him suffer and scream like a pig.

But this?

Chimera hunting him for months, taking his Brotherhood, and almost killing Charles - only to drug them both through the air ventilation and then bring them into their hideout? It made Erik's skin crawl. The Chimera clearly wanted something, and Erik didn't know what or why. Getting killed or brainwashed would have been the easy way out of this - but no. They had Erik, and they had Charles.

_Charles._

Erik's chest heaved with a wheeze when he remembered Charles again, frantically eyeing the two windows and trying to dig out the link at the back of his drugged brain. The other window that didn't lead to the corridor could be - surprisingly - seen through, and by the looks of it, the window was placed against another cell like this.

Erik's heart jumped in wild hope - maybe they had Charles in there. Erik pushed himself up, only to fall back down. But he ignored all of his aches and nausea, and started to drag himself towards the window. The window was so low in the wall that Erik could see through it from sitting on the floor, too, which he was utterly grateful because there was no way he could stand up right now.

There were no chains or cuffs on him - which might have been a good sign - except it wasn't. If these people hadn't chained Erik down, it meant that they didn't n_eed_ to. And the implications made Erik's imagination come up with horrible scenarios.

Erik more or less crawled next to the window. When he finally reached it, he sank against the wall again, taking shaky breaths - the short trip had almost drained him. But he forced himself to reach his hand to the small frame of the window and pull himself up just a little - just a few centimetres - to see through the window and into the other cell.

The moment Erik's eyes landed on the familiar figure on the other side of the window, he felt both relief and fear rushing into him.

Charles was on the other side, on a locked room of of his own, leaning his head against the wall close to the window between them, legs sprawled uselessly on the floor. He wasn't moving.

_Charles?_ , Erik called through their link, wishing more than anything that he would get an answer.

There was nothing.

But Erik could feel the link, even if very very weakly, so it had to mean Charles was still alive too. He had to. Otherwise it made no sense that the Chimera had dragged him all the way here. Whatever this place was.

-Charles?" Erik called with a raspy voice, but instantly could tell that the walls and glass were way too thick to be heard through. It didn't Erik stop from trying. He called Charles' name again, trying to tug their link at the same time, but got no answer.

Erik felt a small lump forming to his throat. He couldn't see Charles' face, just his still form and hair from this angle.

Erik swallowed the new wave of nausea and lifted his hand to the window, pounding it shakily. -Charles!" he once again called, getting a bit desperate. He managed to make a distant and frustratingly quiet sound with his fist. Nonetheheless, Erik pounded the window even harder, ignoring the way the impact send ache to his broken knuckles.

Suddenly, Charles moved and Erik's eyes widened, hand freezing to mid-air. Charles turned his face towards the noise slowly, and then his bleary eyes fixed on Erik. Erik felt a weight drop off his chest as their eyes met through the glass, and for a moment he was breathless. At least they were both still alive. At least for now.

Erik drank in Charles' face, allowing himself a moment of gratefulness.

Then he swallowed and studied Charles - no new visible injuries. But his pupils were extremely dilated, black swallowing most of the blue - Charles had obviously been injected with Hank's serum again.

-Charles? Can you hear me?" Erik asked aloud.

His own voice sounded too loud in the small room, the fluorescent lights humming in the background. Charles lifted an eyebrow, glancing at Erik's lips, then back at Erik.

_"Erik," _Charles' lips mouthed, but Erik couldn't hear any of it. The window between them muted them both, and Erik glared at it angrily. He wanted to smash it into pieces, but he knew he had no strength to do that now. Or that he probably wasn't even able to. So he dragged his eyes back to Charles. Charles looked exhausted, like it took effort from him to stay awake.

Erik drank in every detail, breathing shakily. -Are you alright?" Erik asked, only to make Charles raise an eyebrow. Erik bit his lip and Charles flickered his eyes to Erik's lips. Erik repeated this question, and this time Charles managed to read it from his lips. He looked back at Erik, giving a tired nod. Then he looked at Erik questioningly, and Erik nodded too.

_Gott sei Dank_, Erik thought to himself. This moment wouldn't probably last forever, but at least for one short moment, they were still both there and mostly in one piece.

Charles let his forehead fall against the window frame, looking at Erik with a sad shade in his eyes.

That look spoke more than thousand words.

They both knew.

They both knew that they were trapped, outnumbered, and in terrible danger.

Erik could only swallow, hating himself for being too weak to defend them both, to keep them out of trouble. They had ended up here, no matter how much they had tried to run, and no matter how well they had done it - the Chimera had always found them like hell hounds. It even made no sense how they did it.

They spent a long moment just looking at each other.

Erik had never hated a wall so much in his life. It felt like they were millions of miles away from each other. Instinctively, he lifted a hand to the air, not even realizing what he was doing with it before he pressed his fingertips to the glass. Erik wanted them to melt through it, to reach Charles. His hand would leave stains on the glass, but Erik didn't care.

Charles glanced at his hand through the glass, then to Erik. He flashed a weak, tired smile, as if he understood what Erik was trying to signal. Even if Erik wasn't even sure himself what it was - protectiveness, hope, fear or yearning. Or all of them.

Erik bit the inside of his cheek anxiously. He wasn't afraid for himself. He could take all the pain and torture they could come up with, but if they landed their fingers on Charles...

Erik couldn't think of anything worse. The Chimera had already chained Charles into a machine and needles for months, leaving him with emotional traumas and guilt that would probably haunt Charles for the rest of his life. And now they had him again, one of the most powerful telepaths in the world - at their mercy. And Erik knew the scary truth - if the Chimera had Erik here and it came down to choosing Charles' life and something else, there was no choice to make. Erik had for a brief moment held Charles in his arms at the mansion, thinking that Charles was gone forever. And that feeling had been more sickening that any scalpel or needle they could slice Erik with.

And Erik was certain that these people knew that.

They knew.

And that terrified Erik to no end, because he felt like the red heavy theater curtains were still hanging closed, and someone was about to enter the stage. This would all spiral into chaos and pain soon, and all Erik had was these precious moments of his eyes locking with Charles'. He had the strongest urge to touch, to feel Charles' physical presence, and it made no sense because that had never been the case all those years back. But now Erik craved to feel a warm pulse under his fingertips, or brush a shoulder - anything. He distantly realized that touching had become so normal and usual between them that the lack of it made Erik feel hollow.

And there was an odd finality in the air now. Erik knew that all this could end any second now.

Erik felt suddenly like he had wasted so much time, that there was so many things he had left unsaid. So many things he wanted Charles to hear and understand. They were supposed to have more time. So much more. Days. Years. Decades - like in the future that Logan had been sent from. But once again Erik grimly reminded himself that Logan's future had been erased - there was no guarantee that Charles and him would grow old - either of them. It could all end tonight.

They were supposed to have more - more time, more...everything.

Erik felt the sudden weight of all the the years they had been apart, of all the days they had spent in hatred and bitterness. These past months and weeks with Charles and things healing between them had felt like a fleeting moment compared to them. Erik had felt happy again after a very, very long time, and now he didn't even try to deny it. He had been left breathless and euphoric afteir mind melds, craving for more, inhaling the smell of Charles' hair, listening to his heartbeat, frighteningly alright with having their limbs and minds tangled into each other time after time.

As if he could get used to it. Needed it.

But it could be all gone.

And lost.

Erik urgently promised himself that if they by some miracle got out of this alive, he wouldn't waste one more second. Life felt too fragile and short for that.

Erik would have traded anything to have one more moment of looking at Charles across a chess board and feel the empty space rattling with something like electricity, or see Charles smile, or sink his own face into Charles' ridiculous hair and to the smell of apples.

He might not even see Charles again after this, Erik realized, and his heart skipped a beat in terrible yearning.

He let his hand fall away from the glass, and slumped heavily against the wall.

The heat mark from his fingertips lingered on the glass for a very short time.

Then it was gone too.

* * *

Long time passed, and Erik was grateful for all the time he body had to recover from the drugs. He started to feel remotely better, even if his powers were still gone.

Charles kept mostly still, closing his eyes after a while.

Erik just watched him breath in and out, as if it was the most important thing in the world.

Maybe it was.

Every breath felt precious, because otherwise being here felt like they were living on a borrowed time, and were about to get thrown to the lions. Lions that would eat them raw.

Erik wanted nothing more than come up with a plan, but it was hard without any proper knowledge about this place. It clearly was a new headquarters of some kind - that much Erik could conclude. But how big was it? How many people were there? Where was it located? How many soldiers did they have guarding it? How many of them were mutants with active powers? Was the telepath who was holding this all together here too?

Too many questions and no answers.

Erik had no other option but to wait.

His thoughts were interrupted by an odd sound at the back of his head, and Erik raised an eyebrow. He turned to look at Charles through the glass, and saw that Charles wasn't looking at him. Charle was resting his head against the wall.

_rk..._

Erik gasped quietly, staring intently at Charles._ Erik, _a very faint voice called through their link.

Erik's lips tugged into a relieved smile and he closed his eyes for hearing Charles' telepathic voice - even if it clearly sounded like Charles was struggling to send it to him.

_Erik. Look away._

It took a moment before Erik caught up. Then he drew his face into a carefully neutral mask and turned his head away, turning to stare at the opposite wall instead.

But inside, he rejoiced because of their link coming back to life.

_Erik. Don't let them see you can hear me_. _My...telepathy isn't working but it seems I can access the link a little and.." _Charles voice faded for a moment, as it was taking a lot of energy to keep the connection running both ways.

_They...they probably don't know I can use my legs now. I've kept them still. Can probably use them to walk. Maybe...maybe even run._

Clever, Erik admitted - the Chimera wouldn't probably bother guarding someone they thought was a cripple with a full volume, after all. The Chimera had obviously stolen Hank's serum, or some versions of it, from the mansion, but they might have not known for certain what it had been used for. They had probably just experimented it on some poor mutant, only to notice it blocked the mutant powers. The Chimera probably didn't know that with Charles, the serum brought his legs back too. It was a small advantage, but advantage nonetheless.

_My tolerance has already started to grow towards the serum so it might be..."_ Charles explained, but his voice was so distant that Erik couldn't make out the rest of his sentence. And with Charles' telepathy being so blocked, Erik couldn't answer or ask anything from him, just receive whatever Charles was putting through.

_...with your powers,"_ Charles voice swam back again._ Their telepath is the key._"

Erik was careful not to show he was listening, for whoever that was likely watching.

Instead, Erik turned his thoughts on the leading telepath. That one traitor was holding this all together. Every system had a flaw. Erik knew that. Maybe Chimera's flaw was their trust on this one person holding it all together - their telepath mastermind. The kidnapped and brainwashed mutants were all controlled by their helmets, and they surely wouldn't develop a Stockholm syndrome to the Chimera if they got freed from them. A lot of them would escape or turn against the Chimera if given the chance. But Erik also knew too well that the helmets were all too hard to remove - they had been pinned into place with small needles and only Erik could get them out with his powers - powers he currently didn't have - and even then, he needed to get close enough to grab the helmet with his hands. His little clash with Raven had taught him that much.

Still, Erik felt satisfaction that he had a target, that he knew who to go after. The Chimera was arrogant to think Erik wouldn't kill that traitor the first chance he got.

Erik's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the door of his cell opening. He instantly stiffened and glared at the three soldiers coming in. Erik heigtened all of his senses, braced himself to fight if needed.

A lab-coated woman stepped into the room. She had flaming red hair and a cold look on her face. Erik instantly guessed that she was a human, serving this horrible organization out of free will, because she wasn't wearing a helmet of any kind.

Erik's face turned into a disgusted one, and he glared her with open hostility.

She stepped forward. -Subject 287. We haven't officially met before," the woman said with fake politeness. She was, in turn, looking at Erik like he was an insect she wanted to crush.

There was a small silence where they just locked eyes across the room.

Erik could feel his features hardening, adrenaline and hatred pumping inside of him. He hadn't felt like this in the months he had spent with Charles, not even once, and he had almost forgotten how it was like. Sure, Erik had been irritated with Charles countless times, but there was always strong fondness mixed into that, even when they were fighting. Because the way Erik felt now towards the Chimera, the lab-coated woman and the soldiers had nothing to do with that. This was dark and murderous hatred - venomous, consuming rage that made Erik want to rip the woman's pretty head out of her shoulders.

Erik raised a mocking eyebrow. -Aren't you going to tell me your name?"

-It is irrelevant, mutant," she answered with barely hidden contempt.

Erik huffed. -A mutant? Really? Is that supposed to be an insult?"

She straightened her back and her nostrils flared a little. She almost looked like she was about to stay quiet, but continued nonetheless. -It is an insult to human evolution, unfortunately."

Erik leant his head forward with a predatory look, revealing his teeth in a wolfish grin. Magneto had now entered the room, and while Erik might be terrified of this somewhere deep inside, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of showing it.

-We _are_ human evolution," Erik hissed. The soldiers didn't even flinch, of course, but the woman noticed Erik's transformation - that something beast-like had been just lured out of him. Erik lifted his chin proudly. -Mutans are the next step to perfection. We _are_ better, stronger. The mutants are the universe's way of correcting the previous flawed form of life."

The woman's lip twitched, and something close to awe-inspired surprise crossed her face. Then she turned to look arrogant again. -You sure have a big mouth for someone who has been captured and locked away. Some would say it wouldn't be wise to start making threats."

Erik burst out to a loud, cold laugh. It made the woman startle, and her eyes widened just a little as the dark sound of it chimed in the room.

-Threatening?" Erik spat with disbelief. He shook his head, eyeing the woman from head to toe, joyless amusement in his face. Erik raised an eyebrow, and now there was something steely in his eyes. -I'm a Holocaust survivor," he said slowly with a meaningful glare. -There's nothing, absolutely _nothing_, you or your people can do to me that would be worse than those camps."

Erik let that sink into her head. He could almost see her imagining all the things that had been done to him, and Erik felt dark satisfaction from it. -So you know what wouldn't be 'wise'? Assuming otherwise."

She was quiet for a moment, clearly taken aback the sudden chilly hostility that Erik was radiating.

Erik almost wanted to laugh out loud again. After such a long time, he felt like Magneto had clicked into place seamlessly, and he could almost smell the way she feared him a little, how she made the hairs from the back of her stand up. It gave Erik a weak sense of power, and he fed on it like a starving animal. She definitely knew who he was, had heard of him. Had probably seen how Erik had wrecked the original headquarters with the flick of his wrists, painting the walls with blood and bodies. In the end, Erik's reputation was even more vulgar than he was in reality, but Erik had no problems with that. He almost embraced it, since people fearing his name or face had come in handy. This was no exception to that.

Erik knew that this whole showdown probably wouldn't help him that much, but this one moment of having the upper hand in the room felt good.

The woman straightened her back and tried to reach her earlier calmness. -Again, irrelevant. You are quick to assume we are planning to hurt you, subject 287."

Erik felt icy sting in his chest, his worry for Charles instantly spiking, but he refused to show any of his inner fears. He knew that lashing out now would only make an attack on Charles more probable. So he stayed quiet.

Erik quickly forced himself to play along. But he couldn't help wanting to rip her in two for calling him by a number - the tattoo on Erik's arms seemed to burn and bring back memories from the camps. It only highlighted the similarities between his past and this organization right here. Erik let out a breath, faking self-confidence. -Alright. So if hurting and torture is out of the table, what does it leave me with? Brainwashing? You like that alot in here, don't you?"

The woman swung her red hair to her other shoulder. -You misunderstand. We have great plans for you. Otherwise your life would have ended already. We do not waste good resources, after all." The edge of her lips turned into a small grin.

Erik gritted his teeth together, dread starting to spread into his guts but he refused to show any of it. He wanted nothing more than to find out what she meant by that, but Erik knew that it would do him no good to ask.

-But we have a tight schedule here, so we should get going," the woman said and the helmet-wearing soldiers instantly started to walk towards Erik. Erik backed away, hands clenching to fists.

-There's no use to fight," the woman's sharp voice reminded him. -Either you go willingly with us or then we make you,"

Erik hesitated, but decided that he needed all of his remaining strength. -Where are we going?" he asked as the soldiers came to his sides and grabbed his arms. Erik calculated their strength and heights, already planning ahead how he could get quickly rid of them.

-You'll see," the woman said ominously as she stepped out of the room and the soldiers started to lead Erik after her, towards the door.

Erik wanted nothing more than to turn and look at Charles, to throw him one last glance, but he couldn't risk it.

Any act of affection could only make things worse, so Erik forced himself to stand up taller, appear stronger, and hold on to Magneto as hard as he could.

He swallowed his growing fears as the soldiers pushed him to the corridor, and the cell disappeared from view.

He wished from the bottom of his heart that this hadn't been the last time he had seen Charles Xavier.

* * *

The woman's steps echoed in the corridors as the emotionless soldiers lead Erik after her.

Erik's legs felt still too stiff and weak to walk, but he gritted his teeth and refused to be dragged or carried forward. He held on the every remain of dignity there was, because there wasn't that much to begin with.

He tried to glance around.

Wherever the place was, it was most likely underground. Erik couldn't spot any daylight anywhere. There were only long, identic corridors with white doors and harsh lights and digital locks. Erik could spot rows and rows of similar labs and rooms that he had woken up from - and a sudden sting of nausea hit him again when he realized that this place must have been swarming with captured mutants. It was like a sick prison, almost resembling a hospital.

There were a lot of helmet-wearing soldiers dressed in the Chimera uniforms and doing patrols on the corridors, and Erik saw countless men and women - even teenagers - that had the same blank, brainless look on their face. Some of them had a visible mutation, but most of them didn't. They were all wearing a number tag on their chests. Erik bit his lip in anger as he realized that they were all just 'subjects' to the Chimera, just like he had been all those years back. Instead of tattooing the numbers, the Chimera had put these people into uniforms, stripped them off their personalities and minds and made them guard their own capturers.

It was slavery in its most horrible form - the victims didn't even realize they were slaves. They had no free will.

Erik's anger bubbled now even harder under his skin, and he had to suffocate an animalistic growl. He was almost shaking out of rage. He didn't care if it was the last thing he ever did, he would destroy this organization and burn this place to the ground.

But even in the middle of hot anger, Erik forced himself to plan ahead and note everything he saw. It might become useful later. He tried to estimate where Charles and he had been kept in, so he would know where to go and get Charles if he broke free. _When_ he broke free.

-Nice little horror factory you have here," Erik hissed to the woman walking few metres in front of her.

-Research-based laboratory center," she corrected him.

Erik could only gasp in disbelief. -Reserarch-based labora..." He shook his head, trying to remain his self-control. -This is _hell._ This is hell on Earth right here."

-I didn't take you for a religious man, subject 287," the woman said without even bothering to turn around.

Erik glared holes to the back of her head. -Oh but I can make you _pray_ for your life, on your knees while I rip your intestines with my bare hands," he whispered to her.

That made her steps falter, if only for a nanosecond. -You only prove our beliefs to be true. Mutants are an aggressive, dangerous race that needs to be erased from the face of this Earth. You are nothing but a genetic mistake, a plague that needs to stopped."

Erik could only stare her red hair in anger, barely believing what he was hearing. He had obviously spent too much time in Charles' kind and understanding presence, and forgotten how cruel the outside world could be. How violent and untolerable.

Erik was about to throw another insult at her, but he was interrupted by the way they reached some kind of big metal door. She clicked codes on to the panel before it opened. The door was massive and thick, similar to the ones they had in bank vaults. Erik threw her a manic look. -If only I had my powers..." he teased her and breathed through his teeth.

She glanced at him but stayed quiet.

Erik's hopes started to die down as they entered even more doors, all locked with digital codes, even if they resembled normal doors more. It wouldn't be easy to escape from here.

Finally they entered a big, white room that had a simple chair in the middle of it, facing a big office-like desk.

The soldiers pushed Erik to sit on the chair, and clicked both metal and plastic cuffs around his wrists, locking them to chair. The chair was bolted to the floor, Erik noted with disappointment, and the soldiers tightened his wrists so much that it hurt a little. The woman observed their work. When they were finished, the soldiers left the room. Erik stared in quick confusion, and then turned to look at the woman.

She gave Erik a long, studying look. Erik glared back. -What now, then? Is this the part where you try to intimidate me? Or threaten me? Beat me?"

She ignored him. -I can't say it was a pleasure, subject 287. You should be grateful of this moment, of what's about to happen." and without another word, she swung around and left the room.

Erik was left there alone, sitting in the chair, already testing the bonds both with his arms and his missing powers.

He let out a grunt as the cuffs held. Erik swallowed and quickly scanned the room. It looked like any office, but with too much white and the never-ending smell of bleach. It was so big that it seemed like it belonged to an important person. Erik tried to find any security cameras or anything out of ordinary, but there wasn't anything. The room appeared falsely normal to him.

Now that Erik didn't need to hold onto any appearances, he crumbled a little in the chair, fear filling him. He wanted to make sure Charles was safe and unharmed, that these people weren't chaining him into another machine and make him into a mass-murderer against his will. Erik feared that if that happened, he wouldn't be able to put Charles back together again.

All kinds of scenarios and plans crossed Erik's mind, but he had no choice but to wait. He was certain that they would question him, interrogate him or then maybe put a helmet into his head. Maybe they wanted to use his powers to their own gain. Or maybe they would make him watch as they tortured Charles, making their link stay and making Erik feel Charles' pain, feel his agony and resistance. That was one of Erik's most horrifying fears - to be reduced into a powerless lump of limbs and bones, a _human_ - and then made to watch as they destroyed Charles, bit by bit.

He wouldn't let that happen.

He wouldn't.

Even dying in a reckless attempt of escaping would be better.

* * *

The more time passed, the more anxious Erik became.

Long seconds turned into agonizing minutes, and Erik wondered if this was one form of torture too - to make him wait his fate. He shifted around, trying to come up with a plan or get free from the chair - but couldn't. So instead, Erik was left to build his fears into rage and explosive hostility, and he waited restlessly what would happen next.

He didn't dare to try and contact Charles through the link - Erik only cherished the fact that he could still feel the link there, lingering at the back of his head. As long as it was there, Charles was alive. And that was the priority.

Erik tapped his fingers to the chair, trying to make his powers work with no success. It would probably take hours before they would work again.

The longer he sat there, the more Erik came to realize that this was clearly some kind of meeting. This room wasn't equipped to torture him, so he clearly was about to interrogated or questioned.

Then the thought hit Erik - what if this was him meeting the telepath behind all this? Was the Chimera so stupid that they would reveal their greatest weapon to him?

Then again, Erik realized that there was no risk in it - Erik was powerless, imprisoned and had no back-up. They probably had no intention of letting him ever walk out of this prison alive, so what was the point of keeping their telepath hidden? And if the Chimera had put so much effort into keeping Erik alive and dragging him here, they clearly wanted something out of him.

After what felt like a small eternity, Erik suddenly heard a door opening. Erik drew his face into an angry stare, jaw clenching, and he glared at the direction of the sound. He straightened as much as he could in the chair, stiff as a violin string. All of his instincts were instantly stretched to their peaks; and Erik embraced whatever was about to happen.

He heard someone opening a door, and entering the room from the far side. Erik was ready to open his mouth and throw a first threat, when he saw a disturbingly familiar figure enter the room. For a moment, Erik could only see the man's back from here, as he drew the door closed.

Erik froze completely. All of his anger faded within seconds, as confusion took over.

Seconds seemed to slow down.

It...

It couldn't be...

Time went on extremely slowly when Erik watched the man close the door behind him and turn towards Erik.

Erik's heart skipped a beat when his eyes landed on the familiar face.

Erik felt like he had been hit, and as if time had stopped for a moment altogether. The whole situation felt surreal. Suddenly Erik questioned if he was awake at all, and his breathing came to a halt. He widened his eyes as they kept seeing the same thing despite how many times he blinked them in disbelief. But the sight in front of him stayed the same, and Erik's mouth fell open.

-Ch...charles?" Erik stuttered, and watched as Charles Xavier walked confidently towards him. There was no hurry in his steps.

Charles was smiling politely, and he was wearing a white shirt. He looked disturbingly peaceful and well-kept - and Erik's whole brain stopped for a moment. He couldn't get a word out of his mouth. He could only stare.

But it was Charles. Definitely.

It made absolutely no sense, because Erik had just seen him in the locked cells, and had looked at him through the glass. Had _listened_ to his voice.

So it _couldn't_ be Charles. It couldn't be. Could it?

Erik drew a shuddering breath as Charles leant to sit on the desk behind him, eyeing Erik from the empty space between them.

Erik didn't understand, it made _no _sense. It had to be mindgames - someone was clearly making an illusion for him. Or then this person was a shapeshifter like Raven, only taking Charles' form to fool Erik into a trap. That must have been it.

-Hello, Erik," Charles said.

Erik had to swallow, because whoever that was, he definitely _sounded_ like Charles. Frighteningly so. Even the polite but emotionless diplomatic smile was the exact one Erik remembered from their encounters with politicians from all those years back.

Erik scanned Charles hurriedly, frantically trying to make sense into the situation. It was only then Erik realized that Charles looked too well, too clean, too healthy - and there was no bruise on his cheek where Raven had kicked him in the mansion. With that realization, Erik's face turned into a cold mask. This was definitely a deception to fool him. Fairly poor, even. This wasn't _his_ Charles, definitely not.

-You can drop the fake appearance, whoever you are," Erik snapped angrily. -If you really want me to mistake you as Charles, you have to try a little harder than that."

Charles let out sigh, as if he had been expected to hear that. -Oh, Erik. I knew that this wouldn't be easy," he said, sounding like Erik was too slow to catch up. His every gesture and small movement matched Charles', and it bothered Erik more than he would have wanted to admit. But he was not going to show it.

Erik gritted his teeth and cocked his head to the side. -Really? Why bother with the roleplay? You have some mannerisms right on the spot, I give you that, but fooling me? That would take a lot more effort." he said coldly.

Charles only stared at him for a while. -No, Erik. This is me."

Erik rolled his eyes. He wasn't impressed at all. Had they really dragged him here only for this?

Charles sighed again, looking at the floor. -I know it will take you time, but soon you will see the truth. I am..:"

-Are you done?" Erik said and threw him a sharp look. -Look, there is no way in hell you're going to convince me. I thought that an organization like this would have at least a half-decent imposter, if that's what you wanted to use on me."

There was a disturbingly intense look on Charles' gaze, and Erik felt uncomfortable because this person looked so much like Charles - had his eyes and his body, but wasn't really him.

-Imposter?" he repeated quietly.

Then Charles dropped his head and shook his head, almost sadly, and Erik observed his every move in great detail. -Erik, Erik, Erik..." he mumbled, as if Erik was a small child that was about to be learnt a lesson. -I thought you would be quicker than that. Smarter. That's what I told them too. That you must have realized it by now."

Now Erik felt a spike of dread inside his chest. He looked at Charles warily, thoughts swirling. -Realize what?" Erik barked, trying not to reveal how baffled he felt.

Charles lifted his head up and lifted his arms into the air, as if it should prove his point. -This. Me."

Erik raised an eyebrow. -Oh, the fact that you're mad?." he said, shaking his head. -I got that already. And this must be some kind of way to try and bore me to death, because..."

-You really don't get it, do you?" Charles interrupted him, and for the first time, he seemed truly was a short silence, as Erik stared at him through the empty space between them, only sound coming from the too-bright ligts from the ceiling. Erik hated how much like Charles this imposter sounded and looked like. But Erik quickly pushed those thoughts away, and drew his face into a neutral mask.

Charles only shook his head and then rubbed his forehead, as if he was tired to even explain this. Then he stood up properly and looked down at Erik, drawing his full attention.

-Welcome to the Chimera, Erik. You are exactly where you wanted to be - to meet the very person who is holding this all together."

Erik stared, and opened his mouth. -You're...you're the telepath?" he said with both surprise and disgust.

Charles nodded. -Yes. Who did you except?"

Erik recovered from the shock quickly enough, and then shrugged with contempt. -Maybe someone with more style. Someone who wasn't an illusionist with cheap tricks. At least show me your real face, instead of hiding behind stolen one. Your illusion isn't that great in the first place."

There was an odd flicker in Charles' eyes, and he leant a bit closer. -But I am not wearing a stolen face. It's mine. Don't you see, Erik? I _am_ Charles Xavier. I am the telepath that is holding this organization together."

-Sure you are," Erik spat back. -But somehow I'm pretty sure that Charles Xavier is right in his own nice locked room where you put him in when you kidnapped us."

Something akin to pity flashed in Charles' face. He sighed again.

-So maybe you should stop with the bad lie," Erik growled.

Erik wondered where this was going towards - what point did it even serve? Why would they make him sit here and listen to this madman, who was clearly situated in the safest parts of the building? Every fact seemed to indicate that whoever this person was, was a core member of the organization. It made no sense.

There was a heavy silence, and Erik observed the man in front of him. He tried to find some proper flaw in the illusion, but couldn't. It disturbed him, but then again, this was the Chimera. If Erik wasn't absolutely sure about the real Charles was locked in further away, he might have thought that this was real. But Erik knew that it wasn't.

This Charles seemed to sense his disbelief too. He eyed Erik for a long time, until their eyes locked. -Why are you so sure that this is a lie, Erik? What makes you think that I'm not who I say I am? Do I need to list everything I know about you into a long list before you believe it's really me?"

_Nice try,_ Erik thought to himself. It wasn't like the madman could just make something up with this - Erik could tell the difference. But then Erik was interrupted by Charles continuing without a fraction of doubt.

-Like the fact that you pierced Shaw's brain with a coin? Or that you're allergic to peanuts? Or that you once broke your knee in one of our recruiting trips some months before we found Angel?"

Now Erik froze on his place. These things...these were the only things only Charles would know. He felt slight doubt creeping into his head, but he crushed it immediately. Erik hardened his face again.

-You had Charles in your labs for months," he answered calmly. -You broke his shields and his mind. You could have just gotten all of this information from his memories and now feed them to me." Erik said, feeling assured once again that this was all a trick.

Charles stepped closer, tilting his head. -Oh, but they never got to my memories, remember? I held onto them the longest, and they never succeeded to erase them. I cling onto them like a lifeline, spent all of my remaining energy on preserving them. So the Chimera never got to them. You know this, Erik."

Erik bit the inside of his cheek, because now the doubt was creeping back in. He _did_ remember that. Charles had held onto his memories, even during all that time, and that was the reason they came back to him in the cabin, the very reason Charles had been able to recover from his near death-experience. The memories had been Charles', and Charles' alone. The Chimera hadn't gotten their hands on them at all, not at any point - Erik knew that because Charles had told him that himself. So how did this person know about all that? It made no sense.

-They only used me as a weapon, Erik," Charles said. -At some point, they didn't care about my memories. They left them be."

Erik looked at him now, hating how he started to think it through. He quickly tried to stop himself for considering these lies, and forced himself into angry resistance again. He took a deep breath.-Still, I got you - _him_, out. I rescued Charles from the headquarters, and have been with him ever since." Erik argued hotly.

-Have you, now?" Charles asked, raising an eyebrow. -Now, tell me Erik, what makes you so _sure_? You know that this organization got never properly destroyed. So the inner circle and the leading telepath survived, even if you wrecked our headquarters and killed most of our staff. But you still came inside our labs. We knew who you are. What makes you certain that anything you saw in the labs was real? Hank's body? Charles in those needles? Tell me Erik, can you absolutely certain that the Charles you think you saved was ever real?"

Erik's eyes narrowed, because he refused to be played mindgames with. He didn't even want to entertain this idea. -Maybe because I've spent the last few months with him." Erik said, trying to sound as calm as ever. -That was a pretty big clue."

But there was something in the way this Charles didn't back down, didn't show any signs of doubting his own story, that made Erik swallow uncomfortably. Despite his resistance, Erik felt his stomach churning uncomfortably. Charles eyed him intensely. -So, if we went to check that locked cell next to yours, we would find Charles there, right?"

Erik didn't answer. He hated how fear started to crawl into his mind, no matter how hard the tried to keep it out.

Charles observed Erik's face. -We wouldn't find an empty room?"

-Not unless you have hurt him!," Erik said, losing his temper momentarily. He had to bit his lip to calm down again.

Charles let out a chilling, cold smile. The cruelty behind it made Erik tremble involuntarily, because an icy feeling was starting to settle into his own chest. -What if we never had to? What if he wasn't there in the first place?" Charles whispered.

Erik shook his head in anger. -Don't try to tell me that I've been living with an illusion all this time. I won't believe you. You can't make an illusion like that."

Charles looked almost pitying again. -Oh, Erik...You should know by now that telepaths can make you see, feel and hear everything."

Erik's eyes gleamed in rage as he stared at him, suddenly feeling so much hatred. -That's not _true._ I was with him. I was with Charles all this time."

-What if that was what we wanted you to think?" Charles asked, making Erik feel a little sick.

Erik shook his head once again, anger and nausea rising in him. It couldn't be true. No. It _couldn't_. He had...he had rescued Charles. He had taken Charles into a hospital...and then into the cabin. Forged a link with him. Fetched him from the roof. Melded with him. He had watched Charles breathe, smile, sleep, eat...He had been real. Erik hadn't spent months and weeks with a ghost, or an illusion of the cruelest kind. He _had_ been with Charles. This was a lie. Erik refused to be manipulated.

-You are trying to mess with my head," Erik snarled.

-You know I would never do that, Erik. I always give you a choice to choose for yourself," Charles said, and in that moment he looked and sounded so utterly like Charles that Erik hesitated one moment, and his trust faltered a little.

-But you are not him! You are not Charles!," Erik shouted back at him, now a hint of desperation creeping into his tone. -The real Charles is out there in this prison."

-Fine. You're right, Erik. I'm not Charles," the telepath suddenly said, and Erik froze once again, completely stunned by the sudden change. The telepath spread his arms.

-I'm Reach." he claimed. -I'm the leader of this organization."

Erik cound only stare, and blink, and stare. His brain worked way too fast, as Erik tried to make sense out of this. It was like trying to fit the pieces of a puzzle together. Erik tried to make quick conclusions about the situation - maybe this madman was really the telepath in charge, who was just insane. And just tried to break Erik's defiance by feeding him lies and making him confused.

The telepath waited Erik to react, but Erik didn't say anything. He could only look at the familiar face in front of him, torn emotions in his chest. 'Reach' had been the name they had called Charles back in the labs, Erik knew that - that's how they had tried to make Charles forget who he really was. But Charles had hold onto his own name until the end. It had been the last thing he had known, the_ only_ thing he had known when Erik had brought him into the hospital. Charles hadn't remembered his own voice, body or previous life - but he had remembered his own name. Erik could still recall with great detail how he had taught Charles that _Charles is not Erik _in the long days spent in the hospital. Charles had pulled his own name with him through the deepest pits of the Chimera's torture. His memories and his own name - that was what had been left. They were the only things the Chimera hadn't managed to take away from him.

Charles - no,_ Reach, _Erik corrected himself - looked at Erik like he expected an answer. Erik wouldn't give him one.

-I think you deserve to know the truth," the telepath said. -I will stop playing games with you. Now listen closely, Erik, because what I'm about to tell you is the honest truth."

He paused for a moment, as if to make sure Erik was truly listening.

Then Reach started to talk. -This is my real face," he said, gesturing to himself. -And body. I'm not making an illusion for you, Erik. I used to be a man they called Charles Xavier. I was captured by the Chimera earlier this year, and my powers were put into their use, for purposes I did not understand at that point. Soon they broke my shields and rearranged my mind to a more open one. The Chimera had great plans for me, but at first, I needed to see the truth. So I started collecting mutants, killing the ones that were likely to prove dangerous or disagree to our ways. And the Chimera started capturing the rest. We started to build this army you see in this facility so we could proceed with our plan."

Erik tried to look neutral, as if he wasn't the least touched by this story. But something in him started to feel more and more scared of what he was hearing.

-It took a few months," Reach continued. -But then I learnt a new name for myself - Reach. And that was about the time we found a mutant that could travel in time - we called him Clock. The time traveling mutation is somewhat rare, but very powerful. So we had to use the one time traveler we could find, and I admit that Clock needed some persuasion. But in the end he agreed to do what the Chimera wanted him to."

Erik threw a dirty look at Reach. -And what was that?" he asked mockingly.

-Isn't it obvious?" the telepath asked. -To travel in time and get me - Reach - back from the past, of course - since you had come and rescued me from the Chimera labs. Because they needed me, Erik, because I was stronger than any other telepath they had gotten their hands on. They wanted to replace the original one that had agreed to work for them."

Erik huffed. -That makes no sense. If someone had really gone back in time and gotten Charles out of the labs before me and the Brotherhood arrived, I would have never even found him from there in the first place."

-That is, sadly, the only problem here," Reach said with a sigh. -You see, Clock had a limitation to his power that he didn't tell us about. Every time he goes back or forth in time, he creates an alternate reality. That alternate reality lasts only for a very short while - only the time it takes him to go back to the past and return - usually only a few seconds. So in other words, Clock created a short alternate reality when he came to fetch me from the labs. And he did find me. But when we got back to the present, you, Erik, just had happened to arrive in the labs and rescue Charles in the meantime. So instead of the time coming into a closure and Clock getting back in time with me on his side, he had brought me into the present without erasing your Charles' presence."

Erik shook his head. It took him a moment to process the complex details. He stared at Reach. -So are you telling me that there are two of you? That's just plain ridiculous."

Reach frowned with Charles' face. -No, it's not ridiculous, Erik. It is an unfortunate mistake. Something like this should never happen. There should never exist two versions of a same person, in any timeline."

Erik blinked, thinking fast. -Well, your mutant 'Clock' could have just gone a bit further back in time and stop me from rescuing Charles, then," Erik said.

-Obviously, yes - he should have. That's what we were about to do next. But...unfortunately Clock decided to kill himself before we could make him do that," Reach explained.

Erik could only stare darkly at the telepath in front of him. -Well, I raise my hat for him."

-No, Erik. That wasn't a good thing," Reach said passionately with Charles' voice. -Because now the Chimera was stuck with two versions of me. One was with you, and I was with the Chimera. We wanted to correct the timeline mistake by erasing your Charles from the world. Unfortunately, Mystique failed in her task. So did the others."

Now Erik felt an ugly stirring in his chest. This started to make too much sense. Everything odd that had been happening seemed to click on its place with ominous finality.

Reach tilted is head. -Think about it, Erik. Didn't you ever wonder how we always found you so fast? That no matter how well you hid, we always could track you? Of course we could. I know you too well, and I know myself. I could recognize our minds from half a world away, even if you and the other Charles' telepathical link protected me for accessing your minds from the outside. I couldn't attack you from afar, unfortunately. We made Emma Frost try to do that when you were in the mansion, but Charles had grown too powerful in our absence. The telepathical link protected your mind Erik - your Charles had wired it in such a way that whoever wanted to get to you, needed to get through him first."

Erik felt a distant rush of warmth towards Charles - it seemed that the protectiveness he felt for Charles went both ways. But he quickly waved the thought away, and concentrated on the alarming story at hand. Erik thought about it, and the more he looked back to the past months, the more reasonable it sounded. The Chimera had always found them in record time. Ever since Charles had gotten his memories and telepathy back, the Chimera had been constantly on their tail - after Reach had been able to recognize Charles' rebuilt mind.

But suddenly Erik came to a horrible conclusion.

-So...in the labs...you tortured _yourself_? You broke your own shields?" Erik asked in horror. Was this the reason why Charles hadn't been able to remember the telepath from the labs? The fact that he had woken up, screaming in his nightmares for so many nights - because his torturer had had his_ own_ face?

Reach didn't answer. He stared back at Erik with an unreadable face.

Erik swallowed in disgust. He started to slowly realize where this was heading towards. -So you can't have two versions of Charles in this world," Erik said slowly. -And you think _you_ are the one that should stay."

Reach nodded. -Naturally. After all, I'm the one who can finally find peace. I'm the one with the power to end this war between humans and mutants, to bring an end to the sufferings of the our kind. Unlike your Charles. Your Charles is broken, Erik. This is natural selection - casting the weaker aside. Because unlike your Charles, I'm leading one of the most powerful organizations in the world. The Chimera even made me a version of the serum I can use and get my legs back without losing my powers. But most importantly, I finally see the truth, Erik. What you always tried to tell me. That the mutants and humans can't co-exist at the same time."

Erik raised his eyebrows. That was the last thing he had expected to hear.

Reach looked at him with passion in his too-blue and sickeningly familiar eyes. He stepped closer to Erik. There was odd warmth in his posture, as if he truly wanted Erik to believe him. -We can put an end to this, Erik. We don't need to fight anymore. None of us do. It all ends in a few hours; all the bloodshed and prejudice. The endless violence. We will be free."

Erik felt a bad feeling rising to his guts. -What are you talking about?"

-The reason you're here!" Reach breathed out. -The reason you're sitting there. Two hours from now, the Chimera will hold a big event for the members of the press. The whole world will be watching us from the their tv's and reading about us in their newspapers. The Chimera will show the mankind why this organization was built for - to bring peace between mutants and humans. We will reveal the greatest achievement of the century: the MVP, Mutant Vaccination Program. Hank's serum can finally be announced as the genius formula it is. Don't you see, Erik? The Chimera has developed the serum into a vaccination that will block the mutation genes. Just like that, they will be suppressed and gone. Right now, the effect of the vaccin will last only for five years, but the Chimera scientists will come up with a permanent formula soon, it is guaranteed. And only in a few years, they will start vaccinating newborns, Erik! Nobody will have to bear the mutant gene anymore. Mutants won't exist. Peace achieved, at last!"

Erik stared at him, eyes widening in slow, numb horror. -You're...you're mad." he whispered with an unsteady voice, taste of bile rising to his throat. He wanted to lash out, to scrub the whole concept out of his head. He felt sick. The whole brutality of the plan was only starting to unlock to him. -That's not the answer! That's...that's wrong!"

-Why is it wrong, Erik?" Reach hissed with a hungry look on his face. -Why? That's how we can all be normal."

-We _are_ normal!" Erik shouted, anger building up inside of him. -There's nothing_ abnormal_ about us! Just because we are different, doesn't mean that we need to be fixed. There's _nothing_ to fix! Just listen to yourself, for God's sake!"

Reach looked at him with surprise, wide eyes. -No. No - can't you see, Erik? This is the _perfect_ solution! The peaceful way I've always wanted to find! That's why your Charles needs to be deleted. This is why _I'm_ the better choice. Because I have the actual power to bring an end to this. I am the _perfect_ version of myself, Erik."

-No, you're not!," Erik squeaked shakily. -You're what the Chimera brainwashed you into. They broke you and made you into..into this twisted version of yourself, Charles! This is...this is genocide," Erik spat. -This is against _everything_ you ever believed in. You wanted the humans to accept us."

Now Reach came so close to Erik that Erik startled. His eyes - Charles' eyes - glimmered with so much hope and passion that the resemblance made Erik feel disoriented.  
-But it was you who always told me that it will never happen, Erik. Time after time after time. And I finally see it now. There will be always something - the Sentinels, the Chimera, prejudice and murder, parents abandoning their mutant children...the humans will never stop oppressing us. So why not become them? If you can't beat them, join them, as the saying goes."

Erik breathed heavily in and out, unable to believe what he was hearing. His insides were torn with fear, disgust and desperation as he stared at Charles - a version of Charles he couldn't recognize, didn't want to know. This was Reach - Chimera's toy that had been first broken, then built back again in the way the Chimera wanted. This wasn't the Charles Erik had known for years, or who he kept coming back for. This wasn't the kind and altruistic telepath who Erik was ready to rip cities to pieces for - the too-empathic Charles who had almost flung himself over a roof of a mansion for not being able to deal with the guilt and pain of hurting others. The Charles that had somehow made his way into Erik's heart, and claimed a permanent place there.

Erik gritted his teeth.

Reach studied his face, clearly trying to find his approval. -The plan is flawless, Erik. I will persuade the minds of the journalists that attend and make them accept that this is a good idea. They will write about it, and give speed to the political decisions that will set it into stone. This will become a nation-wide - no, global-wide - movement. Hank will go down in history as he always deserved to - the scientist who beat the gene mutation. And there will be no more violence. Don't you see, Erik? This is the best thing that ever happened to us."

Erik swallowed. -No, it's not. It's _not_." he whispered.

Suddenly, something dark filled Reach's face. And odd glint entered his eyes, something manic that Erik had never seen in Charles' face before. Reach leant backward and spread his arms.

-Still not good enough for you, Erik? Why? Why not? I am exactly what you always wanted of me. I am _perfect_. I'm your desired version of Charles Xavier. Someone who doesn't fear to take justice into his own hands. Someone who isn't locking himself away and trying to change the world with pathetic altruism and good will, or one small school. I'm the exact thing you always tried to carve me into, Erik. I am your masterpiece, as well as the Chimera's. I'm using my power to make a difference - to change people's minds, to persuade their thoughts, to take action. And we can finally work together, Erik! We can finally agree on everything and stop fighting. "

Erik's mouth dropped open. He couldn't believe it. But he was speechless, too shocked to talk.

-Yes -that's why you're here, Erik," Reach said. -To become my partner. To become the team we were always supposed to. To finish what the Chimera has started, and then live the rest of our lives in peace."

Erik felt the urge to destroy something with his fists, because this was far worse and sicker than he could have ever imagined. -You are _insane_! You are completely delirious to even think that I would ever work for the Chimera!"

-But you would work with _me_, wouldn't you? I _am_ the Chimera, Erik. I pull all the strings in here. I control the helmets, I control the mutants. I even control the humans that were originally behind this organization - they still exist because I let them have a part in this. So Erik - all we need to do is to get through that press event, and get rid of my unfortunate shadow version."

Erik's eyes bulged. -NO! No! Don't you touch him! You will not hurt Charles!"

There was an odd, sick finality in Reach as he tilted his head next to Erik's ear. There was almost something sadistic in the way he let out a warm breath against Erik's ear. -But I _am_ Charles, Erik. Better you could have ever wished for. I am your fantasy, your dream come true. I am your never-ending God complex - your way to get appreciated and worshipped and feared - to feed your lust for power. Just like you always thought Shaw made you stronger, the Chimera made me take action. We are so alike, Erik, you and I - we want the same thing now, with same methods. Even better - I am _you_. And I am playing god - just like you always wanted me to. The humans, the mutants - they are only playthings for me. I can change their minds with the flick of my thought, I can crush resistance like cockroaches. I won't even _have_ any resistance. Don't you see it, Erik - I am only doing everything you would, Erik, if you had the ability to do so."

True madness had entered the telepath's eyes now, and Erik almost cowered in the sight. This version of Charles was truly terrifying, and the way he believed every word that came out of his mouth made Erik clench his hands into fists. And the most horrifying fact was that Erik realized that this Charles - Reach - was_ right_. This was everything he had prompted Charles to believe in. To use his powers, to take action. But what stood in front of Erik right now was the darkest nightmare, the blackest shade of Charles, the most powerful telepath in the world turned into a tyrant, a dictator. A power-hungry megalomanic that would face no resistance. He could do whatever he wanted. The world could be his playground, and people's minds could be like toys to him.

Erik's stomach dropped as he realized the true extent of this plan, how terrifying and dangerous it was. How inevitable, how destructive. That all this time, Erik had been trying to fight against an organization that had been ruled by a broken version of Charles Xavier. That even now, Reach wanted Erik to join him, to have unlimited power together. That they could swipe the mutant kind from the face off the Earth, and make the Chimera dominate the rest of the world. Slowly, Reach leant his hands against the chair handles, and brought his face right in front of Erik's.

-Tell me, my dear Erik..." Charles said, his eyes gleaming. -How does it look to finally look in the mirror?"

Erik forgot to breathe for a moment, and could only stare back, eyes burning. But he felt only fear and disgust, because this wasn't how Charles was like. This wasn't him. Erik felt terrible yearning for_ his_ Charles, the one he had always respected despite their differences. The one that he had always accused of being soft and ignorant, of being a coward and not using his powers.

In a horrible moment of epiphany, Erik suddenly realized he never wanted this after all.

Now that he had the truth literally staring him in the eyes.

He had been so _wrong_.

He would never want Charles to change, to be like _this_. Erik would prefer bickering to the ends of the Earth with his Charles than living with this version of him, of mad and cold Reach that was manipulated into thinking that this was the peaceful panacea solution he had always wanted to find. In a few fleeting seconds, Erik realized that that his Charles was perfect just the way he was - with his flaws and underlying pride and pacifist, passionate ideologies - and Erik could have never been more sure of it than at this exact moment. Erik didn't care about this dark, fetisized version of Charles - broken and bent and having all hope and life sucked out of him.

Reach was only a shell of Charles Xavier.

A tool.

A_ weapon_ of the most wrecking design.

He was the very things Charles had always blamed Erik from seeking him out for - for using him, abusing his power - and weaponizing it.

Erik felt his heart sink in shame when he realized that he had spent too much time wishing Charles to be like this even at the smallest extent.

He should have never wished Charles to change.

Maybe the old him would have, but Erik now came to terms with the fact that these few months he had spent with Charles had changed him for good. Erik had seen Charles' memories, had finally understood the way his powers worked, had mended most of the broken things between them. Erik no longer felt burning guilt, anger and bitterness towards Charles - those haunting emotions were gone. Instead, they had been replaced with something else, something much stronger. Something good.

Erik had been changed, he had been partly healed...and he had been irreversibly become wrapped around Charles. There was no denying it. He kept coming back to Charles. Charles had a hold on him like no one else did. The rest of the world appeared to Erik as grey and indifferent. Of dark and uninviting. The battleground where Magneto roamed. But the Erik that had been lying next to Charles and listening to rain during countless nights - that was where he had found his peace, the small place where he didn't feel lonely, or angry, bitter - or out of place.

He had felt whole.

And Erik felt a rush of protectiveness towards his Charles - more over-whelming than ever before. He would not let these people take him away. Erik refused the accept the mere idea of having Charles replaced by Reach.

Erik hated to admit it, but this whole moment felt like staring into a mirror for the first time in his life. Seeing his reflection in sickening clarity.

And he did not like what he saw.

-Chimera is a Greek word, you know," Reach said. -It means a mythological creature that was made from several animal parts - a lion united with a dragon's body and a goat's head, and having snake as a tail. Monster of the most elegant kind," he said, as he leant back a little.

-Sounds like what they did to you here," Erik managed to mumble with a raspy voice.

A hollow chuckle escaped Reach's mouth, and it made Erik shiver. It sounded so unlike Charles. -You are one to talk, Erik."

Erik looked up, meeting Reach's eyes. He felt pity towards the telepath. Erik knew that if he hadn't come to rescue Charles from the labs, this would be the only thing left of him. This would be the only version of him that existed. Erik swore to himself that they would not take away his Charles, the real Charles. He wouldn't allow it.

Reach crossed his arms, stepping back a little. -Why are you so reluctant to join me, Erik? This should be the best thing that's ever happened to you."

Erik let out a bitter huff, his eyes suddenly burning. -I realize I have been wrong to ever give you that impression. Or letting myself think that way."

Reach almost looked hurt for hearing that. -Are you really going to do this, Erik? Turn your back on me?"

He hesitated, studying Erik. -You seriously can't consider going back to that other version of me. After years and years of despising him," he said, shaking his head. Then something violent flashed in Reach's eyes, and he raised his voice. -That Charles there is crippled, powerless...and pathethic. We only kept him alive this long so I could talk to you and make you understand why we need to do this. Why he needs to go. Why we need to correct the timelines for good."

Erik just saw red and lashed out, trying to break free from the chair, making Reach startle and take a few steps back. Erik pulled his wrists so hard it hurt, and he gave Reach a murderous glare. -Don't you _dare_ hurt him," he hissed. -I will never work with you! You hear me? I will never accept erasing the mutant kind as if we are a disease. And I certainly will not ever want to be by your side!" Erik shrieked, fury rising in him so fast that it made him shake feverishly.

Reach stared at him with wide eyes, and he looked deceptively like Charles for a moment. Then cold anger took over his face, and Erik felt almost satisfied that all the resemblances were gone for good.

-I feared you might say that," Reach said, sighing. -I guess you leave me no other choice, then."

Erik felt colour draining from his face and his heart skipped a beat. He stared at Reach in open fear now. -What? What do you mean by that?"

Reach gave him intense look. The short silence in the room felt suffocating, and Erik felt like it was hard to breathe. -I'm going to change your mind, of course." Reach said, like it was obvious. He leant forward and walked the small distance to Erik. Erik leant back, disgusted, but couldn't get any further as Reach placed his fingers on Erik's forehead almost teasingly. He smiled and cocked his head. The touch made Erik's skin crawl.

-Just a little persuasion, old friend. You won't even feel a thing. You won't even remember that another version of me ever existed."

-NO! No! Don't!" Erik shrieked, yanking his head away and trying to get as far as he could from Reach, wave of nausea washing over him from the mere thought of it. His anger was morphing into helpless fear now. -You would never do that! You always let people have a choice. You told me that yourself - that you wouldn't ever change anything inside my mind," Erik stuttered frantically, voice breaking. -That's your own core rule."

He looked up at Reach, eyes wide, almost too afraid to breath. He couldn't think of anything worse than his mind getting erased and manipulated like everyone else's. Of losing everything he had built with his Charles during these few past months. Erik didn't even try to hide his open horror. He shook his head, pleading. -Don't do it." he breathed brokenly.

Reach looked untouched by Erik's pleas, just stared down at him with unreadable face.

Erik felt his eyes watering, as desperate tears forced their way in. Erik had never been this scared in his whole life. He was trembling all over, his skin partly torn by the cuffs. -Do you want me to beg?" Erik whispered. He would do it. He would beg if it helped. He had always thought that he would never beg for anything in his life, but Erik was ready to go down on his knees if that was what it took.

-Oh, Erik," Reach said and placed his hand to Erik's cheek, brushing it lightly. -I'm afraid that's not going to happen."

-Please," Erik wheezed, with one tear escaping from his left eye. -Please don't."

Reach was silent for a while, as if he was considering Erik's request. But deep down, Erik knew that it wasn't the case, that he was clinging onto false hope. -I'm afraid I will, Erik." Reach said.

Erik trembled - this was really happening. This was not a nightmare.

Reach dropped his hand, and Erik held his breath, his whole body screaming in barely contained agony. -But unfortunately, I can't do it quite yet," Reach finally said.

Erik felt like passing out from relief, no matter how feeble. But somehow he got the feeling that whatever was about to happen would be even worse. Reach tilted his head. -I can't access your mind and alter it as long as you have that telepathic link in place. The other Charles is protecting you too well through it. So I need that link broken before I can make you forget."

Panic flared up inside Erik again.

Reach shrugged. -The most civil way would have been making you forget the other Charles before we got rid of him. But it seems we have a problem because of this link. So I'm sorry, Erik, truly am - but we need to break the link by killing him, even if you will be able to feel him go. Unfortunate down side of this, I'm afraid. But after that, I will make it all better. Soon you won't even remember he ever existed. Or that the link existed. Then it's just me and you."

Erik was knocked breathless, speechless. He barely noticed the two soldiers entering the room and Reach giving them a telepathical order and a quick nod.

-They will get my shadow - the other Charles - in here now. I wouldn't have made you watch it happening, Erik, but I need to make sure the link is properly broken. But on the bright side, you'll get to say farewell to him - as needless as it is, since you will have me. Because in two hours time, you will be feeling a lot better and stepping with me on that press podium - and we can start making history together."

Erik felt like his whole life was falling apart in front of him, all of his battles going down the drain, and the only thing he could do was watch. And draw ragged breaths, feeling like heart or lungs could give in any second.

He knew that only after some minutes, those brainless soldiers would drag Charles in here and they would...they would make Erik watch as they murdered hims. And Erik would have to feel Charles go, how their link would be forever torn in two. How Erik would be so terribly alone, and left behind. Incomplete. How the scene from the mansion would play itself out again, but this time it wouldn't be any illusion. Charles would be permanently gone, somewhere Erik couldn't follow or drag him back from.

Just in a few minutes, Charles would be_ gone. _

And Erik couldn't do anything to stop it. He could only sit here, and wait to become Reach's personal puppet.

Erik's ears rang and he was breathing too quickly now, real panic taking over him.

Reach gave a polite smile.

-Don't you worry, old friend. Soon you'll feel a lot better. Soon we will have the whole world at our feet."

Erik gagged, barely holding the nausea in, shaking so badly that it was like his body was already giving in.

Reach gave him a solemn nod, wearing a comforting and almost gentle look on his face. -Soon you'll forget."

Erik looked at him with desperate horror.

-Soon, there will be only you and me left."


	27. Chapter 27

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Hey everyone! I felt like I needed to say something at this point of the story. First of all - thanks so much for the support and reviews, you have given me such a boost of energy to go on with this story!

Secondly, just to point out: Clock and Leap are both my own additions, so they're not from the comics or movies.

Thirdly, some German translations:  
Mein Gott - Oh my God  
Dank sei Gott - Thank God  
Ich verstehe das nicht - I don't understand  
Nein - No  
Leb wohl - Goodbye  
Gott helfe mir - God help me

Alright. This story is soon coming to an end. So here we have chapter 27 - one of the most important and defining (though not the last!) chapter of the story. Please let me know what you think! :)

**CHAPTER WARNINGS:** Very gory and violent themes (seriously, you have been warned, read at your own risk), character death, chapter content.

* * *

Erik's chaotic brain tried to come up with any solution that could stop from his whole life spiraling into a complete destruction.

He was shaking from panic, feeling the weight of every passing second like a clock of doomsday - ticking, ticking, reaching the end slowly but surely.

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

Time had never felt so merciless than before, as Erik sat there in the middle of a too-white Chimera office, heaving heavy and too shallow breaths, staring at the leader of this horrible organization that wore Charles' face. Erik could have never imagined that he could lay his eyes upon Charles and hate him from the very bottom of his soul. And be absolutely, completely terrified of him. Because Reach was more sickening than Shaw - Shaw had been insane and cruel by nature, but Reach - Reach was sewn from the remains of Charles Xavier.

Erik could barely breathe as he stared at him- unable to recognize the hopeful and kind telepath he once had been. The one telepath who had dived into the water after Erik and stopped him from killing himself just to take down Shaw; the Charled that had taught Erik to unlock his true potential, who had shown Erik that there was still good in him despite how deeply Shaw had corrupted him.

Reach was ruthless and brutal in a very twisted and gut-wrenching way - he still had fractions of Charles' way of thinking in him. But his methods had turned careless, disguised in the concept of 'greater good' and 'peace'. Erik hated this shadow, this gruesome painting of Charles that stood in front of him. Erik wondered how he could have ever wished Charles to be more like this. Erik couldn't deny how arrogant and ignorant he had been, all these years, for ever wanting this.

Erik's whole life was being torn apart, shattered like fragile glass. Everything he had ever done with the Brotherhood, all the things they had achieved - would be all for nothing.

If Reach got his wish, the world would be on its knees before him. Without the people even knowing it, without even having a clue. Everyone on this Earth would become the same kind of brainwashed soldiers like the Chimera soldiers in a poisonously oblivious way.

And Erik was most terrified of the fact that after a small fleeting while from now on, Reach would win and would enter his mind and claim it for himself forever.

Erik would be a marionette, and Reach would be holding the strings.

It was Erik's worst nightmare - he would be on Reach's side, smiling and nodding if forced to, bending metal like a manservant to a king. Like the right hand of a god. Forced to think that this was what Erik had wanted all along. As if his views had never been challenged in the first place. That _his_ Charles, his wonderful and flawed and kind Charles that would soon be dragged in here violently - had never even existed. Erik wouldn't remember him, or these past few months that had been the most intimate and precious time they had ever spent together, in all the time they had known each other. Or how close they had become...how comfortable and seamless. How Erik had started to understand, slowly but deeply, Charles more and more.

All of it would be wiped away - as if Erik hadn't had his emotions turned from hatred and anger to affection and protectiveness. Like Erik wouldn't have lost the fight with himself, like he hadn't finally admitted that Charles was the exception to everything in his life, the most important person he had ever met. Erik would lose it all, these memories. The dizzyingly strong burn he had in his chest every time he was with Charles, a fire that burnt harder than all of his rage ever could.

All gone, soon.

_Tick tock._

Erik felt like gagging again for the mere idea of it.

He was ready to fight to the last moment. He was ready to do anything, only to realize there was_ nothing_ he could do. His powers were still blocked by the serum, and he was chained to this chair without a hope of getting free. And Charles - _his_ Charles - might be able to stand and walk, but there was no way his telepathy was fully back already - even if his tolerance to the serum had grown. The most disturbing fact was that Erik couldn't fool the enemy standing in front of him - he couldn't fool Reach when it came to Charles.

They were, after all, basically the same person.

As wrong as it sounded.

Erik wondered if he could talk Reach around, to try and get him to see reason, but something deep within Erik understood that Reach was too far gone. It wasn't the Charles he knew, not really. The Chimera had put him together again from broken pieces and left all the core parts of him out - just like the mythological creature the organization had been named after. All the darkest and beast-like parts of Charles there ever was had been collected and stuffed together, like a grotesque doll. Like a soulless Charles. An empty shell.

Erik felt so disgusted by Reach that he had never hated anything more in his life. Shaw was _nothing_ compared to this.

It was almost like a torture in itself.

Charles had always been the most brightest spot of Erik's life, the constant light somewhere at the back of his head, despite the years they had been apart.

Erik's thoughts were whirling and bouncing back and forth with no order. Erik tried to pull his wrists free, biting his lip so hard he drew blood. The skin on his wrists was already partly torn and bruised, but Erik didn't care. He struggled to pull and twist, until he winced from the pain. He would break his knuckles again willingly if that meant he could get his hands free.

-Come now, Erik," Reach commented, sounding bored. He glanced at Erik and his helpless attempts of freeing himself. -That's somewhat childish, isn't it."

Erik's face hardened as glared back. Without bothering to answer, Erik didn't even try to hide the fact that he was trying to get away. He kept pulling, wanting to yell for the pain it caused, but refused to give that satisfaction to Reach.

Reach leant to sit on his desk again, eyeing Erik sadly. -Don't hurt yourself. I know you're stubborn, but trying to fight back is useless. And it makes no sense for you to fight in the first place. You're getting everything you ever wanted: endless power, the closure to the mutant war - and me. And you don't need to anything except to wait just a little while."

Erik couldn't help but to let out a desperate moan, eyes starting to burn with helpless, unshed tears.

This was _sick._

This was utterly, completely sick.

Erik stopped for a moment, staring at Reach and breathing heavily.

Erik tried to listen to the link at the back of his mind, now careless if Reach noticed it or not. Erik could detect only the familiar faint hum of the link, and this time the vague but warm and safe presence of Charles at the end of it made Erik want to howl out from fear of losing him. The Chimera had broken the link between them once already - and once had been enough. The telepathical pain had been beyond anything Erik's physical body could have ever endured. Getting Charles torn away from him had left his mind bleeding and screaming, missing its counterpart madly.

Erik wondered in slight panic that if the link really got broken, if they really killed Charles - could Erik still feel the remains of the link in his head - even after Reach made him forget the real Charles had ever existed? Reach wouldn't able to fill the holes and broken bonds, Erik was sure of it. Nobody could fit there more seamlessly and perfectly as Charles. Their minds had melded after all, more completely and profoundly than ever before during their night with the serum pumping in their veins. They had been one for a moment, all lines blurring and mixing to each other. Surely Erik could feel that kind of black hole inside his head, even years after this, if Reach succeeded with his plan?

Erik was sure it would drive him mad - losing Charles one more time. For real. No matter how well they'd made him forget it.

He would become as insane as Reach.

His mind would be constantly trying to find something that just wasn't there anymore - Charles' presence, _his_ Charles' presence.

Erik swallowed hard as he imagined being left alone inside his head, and loathing the idea. He could remember too vividly Charles getting shot in the mansion, the way their link had hung cold and dead between their minds, unconnected.

It made the panic inside of him grow, leaving Erik under no illusion how final this would be.

Erik tried to bring himself to talk, to convince Reach that this wasn't the right way to go. Erik would have been ready to lay down all his cards, bargain for more time, bargain for anything that could change anything, but there was simply nothing he could say or do to stop the inevitable. It was almost like the short moment of seeing a vase falling from a table - knowing it would shatter into millions of pieces soon, but still seeing it whole for a few, precious seconds.

That was where Erik was now.

Unable to make a difference. Unable to stop from his life turning into a living hell.

Whatever Erik could have said were lost as he heard sounds coming out from the corridor. Erik turned to look towards the sound with wide eyes, breaths getting stuck to his throat.

-Ah, here you are. Finally," Reach said with a hollow smile, clearly sensing who were coming.

Erik stiffened as the door was opened. The red-haired woman he had seen before stepped inside, and behind him there were two soldiers dragging Charles - _his_ Charles - inside. Erik felt a lump starting to form into his throat as his eyes landed on him. Charles' hair was as messy as before. The bruise on his cheek looked more ghastly in the bright, white lighting. He was slumped between the soldiers, looking fragile and small, but his eyes were sharp as the soldiers dragged him further.

At first, Charles didn't spot Reach - instead, his eyes instantly turned to Erik. Erik felt like the whole world stopped for a moment when their eyes met through the empty space - there were so many unasked questions, but all of them disappeared when Charles saw the few tear-tracks and horror on Erik's face, how absolutely wrecked he already looked like.

Charles inhaled sharply, and his face turned eerily determined as he saw what they had done to Erik, and he looked like he wasn't going to go down without a fight. But his seemingly confident facade was crumbled the second he took a breath and turned to look at the center of the room - and saw the leader of the Chimera for the first time.

For a few seconds, Erik could see the shock spreading to Charles' face as he saw the spitting image of himself standing just a few metres away. Charles took a shuddering breath, and it sounded extremely loud on the otherwise quiet room.

-Hello, Charles," Reach greeted.

Charles could only stare, opening his mouth and then closing it again. He eyed Reach from head to toe, clearly not understanding how this could be possible.

Reach turned to look at the soldiers. -Let go of him," he said emotionlessly. The soldiers instantly obeyed, and Charles let out a yelp as he sunk to the floor.

Reach sighed and stepped forward. -I know you can stand already. It's no use to lie to me - to yourself, after all."

Charles didn't look up - he just stared at the white floor for a moment, breathing heavily, as if he was doubting his sanity. Then he slowly turned his head up, meeting Reach's gaze. Erik could only look at the scene before him with angry helplessness. It was disturbing to see two versions of Charles there, almost identical, right next to each other, and staring at each other. The last doubts Erik could have ever had about two versions of him existing were permanently washed away.

This was too real, too terrifying to ignore.

Charles was still unable to talk, clearly trying to make sense of who the person in front of him was. Erik could have sensed his shock even without the link.

Reach waited for a moment, then sighed in frustration. -I said get up. I know you can do it." he said.

Charles looked like he had no intention of obeying, but then he threw Erik a hasty glance. Erik bit his lip, but nodded. There was no use for trying to trick Reach about this.

So slowly, Charles took support from the floor and shakily pushed himself up. It took him a moment to stand up, and he barely remained upright. He wobbled and looked like he could crash any moment, and Reach only gave a wordless command to one of the soldiers. The helmet-wearing soldier stepped forward and supported Charles, just enough to keep him standing. Despite his clear distaste over this, Charles leant heavily on the soldier, already looking tired from the effort if had taken to rise.

Then the confusion in his face deepened. Charles stared at Reach for a few, heavy seconds until a dark realization washed over his features. Charles slowly realized that Reach had just given _orders_ to the soldiers.

-Who are you?" Charles whispered.

Reach stepped in front of him. -You." he answered with calmly.

Charles shook his head, like wishing the image in front of him disappear. -No...That's not..." he started protesting, but Reach just interrupted him. -I don't have time for this. I think I'll just send you my memory of me and Erik's little chat before. Like two proper telepaths would," Reach said. Then he turned to look concentrated. There were few seconds of silence, and Erik guessed Reach was sharing his memory with Charles, throwing it to Charles' mind and replaying it for him.

Charles' face suddenly twisted into astonished horror.

-No," Charles breathed out, dragging his eyes away from Reach, like he couldn't stand to look at him, as if wished that this wasn't really happening. Charles was now breathing hard, looking unseeingly at the floor, as if he was feeling nauseous.

Reach crossed his arms. -Ask Erik if you don't believe me." He turned to look at Erik with a deceivingly warm smile on his face. -Erik, isn't it true that I'm Reach and the leader of this organization?" The way he said it made Erik think of some twisted children's game.

But Erik could only give a defeated nod, as Charles' fearful eyes met his. Erik felt a spike of empathy towards Charles. For him, this must have been even more painful than it was for Erik - realizing that despite everything Charles had pulled himself through and how hard he had been ready to fight to strike down Chimera, it had all been in vain. That he _was_ the Chimera, in a very disturbing way.

Erik's eyes burned and he had to grit his teeth so hard it hurt. The never-ending smell of bleach flowed in from his nostrils.

Charles looked at Erik, face twisted into agony. _Is it really true, Erik?_ he sent vaguely through the link.

Erik nodded again, unable to send anything verbalized towards Charles. He just looked sadly at him.

Defeat took over Charles' face, and his eyes suddenly watered as he turned to Reach. He blinked back tears as he was searching for words. -This is not...this is not who we are. Who I am," Charles said, eyeing Reach with fear-mixed pity. -Please, you have to see that. You know I'm right. You know they changed you in here," he said with an unsteady voice. -They did horrible things to you. Unimaginable."

Reach's face didn't even twitch. -You're wrong, Charles. They just took my flaws away."

Charles let out a desperate, anxious huff. -Do you mean our_ humanity_? Our sense of right and wrong?" he hissed passionately. There was a small silence as Charles searched for words, eyeing Reach. His face softened a little. -You can still turn back. You still have a choice," Charles said almost gently.

It made Erik's gust twist into bittersweet knots of fondness and yearning - that was such a Charles thing to say. That even when it came to himself, Charles still refused to give up hope. That he still tried to save everything with kindness and understanding.

But Reach remained as untouched and distant as before. -We never had a choice, Charles. Look at our life. There is no sense in fighting, trying to change world bit by bit. Look what humanity did to us. Look how much pain and heartbreak they have caused us. Count the people you have had to bury or let go."

Charles' face twisted into sorrow, and Erik felt the urge to punch Reach. Charles still struggled to answer, to convince Reach otherwise. -They took Hank from us," Charles whispered. -Doesn't it mean anything to you?"

Now there was a twitch in Reach's face, a break in his emotionless facade. -Of course it does. I honour Hank with the work I'm doing with the Chimera. Don't you see, Charles? Hank is partly the reason I_ am_ doing this. He deserves to be celebrated for the genius he was, to have his work used for good."

Charles looked at him, astonished. -For...for _good_?" he stammered out. Then he frowned, jaw clenching, barely being able to hide his disgust. -You told Erik that you are going to use the serum as a vaccination."

Reach nodded. -True. It's brilliant. But you are too broken and weak to see why. And I won't even try to change your mind. You are just an unfortunate mistake in the perfecting progress the Chimera did to me. An unfortunate timeline mistake that needs to be corrected." Erik's heart leaped in fear, sensing the way the atmosphere in the room was starting to change.

Reach stepped backwards. -So I think we should stop with the pleasantries and get it done." he said in a disturbingly neutral tone. Erik's eyes widened and he shook his head. -No!" he managed to breath out, even if knew it would probably change nothing. This unstable balance was coming to an end.

The air in the too-white office seemed suddenly heavier.

Promise of violence creeped into the room, and Erik's hands started to tremble uncontrollably.

Charles looked at Reach with a crushed look on his face, radiating misery and sorrow - and even pity. And Charles' never-ending ability to feel empathy for even the worst monsters was exactly what made Erik's fear-mixed affection strengthen. It also highlighted the fact that his heart was about to get broken. It ached already, ready to crack. Erik panted, drinking the sight of Charles in, alarmingly aware that it would be all gone soon.

That this was the _end_.

Growing panic flared up in him, and Erik yelped and tried to break himself free once more. He would have been ready to give anything, _anything_, to stop this from happening.

The red-haired woman who Erik had talked before with stepped closer to Erik, giving him a mocking, cruel smile. She glanced at Charles, then Erik. -Is this love, subject 287?" she teased with a voice that was dripping honey.

Erik turned to look at her, murderous glint in her eyes. -Love doesn't exist," Erik spat automatically. He was not even thinking - the answer was coming from somewhere deep, from the things he had long ago thought to be his principle rules of life. The statememnt came out instinctively, from his dark years spent in solitude and anger.

The woman looked surprised, and chuckled. She was quiet for a short while, and then shook her head. -Liar." She turned away. -Liars, all of you." Then she stepped further away again, and for a few frozen seconds, Erik stared at the spot she had been standing in, odd epiphany rising from the back of his mind. She had somehow hit a nerve somewhere in him, and Erik was just starting to realize what it was.

But before Erik was able to come into a conclusion, he turned hurriedly back towards Reach and Charles, his senses and mind completely drawn to them again. In the same instant, Erik's fears magnified and the last remains of self-control disappeared. He hadn't even noticed that his wrists had finally started bleeding from his desperate attempts to get them free. Erik's vision seemed to blur from the edges, his eyes only seeing Charles. Like he was the only thing in the world.

In that moment, Charles felt like _he_ was Erik's whole world.

-Charles," Erik breathed out with a pained voice.

Reach turned to look at him, surprised. He suddenly looked at Erik with deceivingly authentic-looking warmth that made Erik feel sick. -Save your sentiment for later, Erik. You will have all the time in the world with me, after all."

The telepath's words made Erik want to throw up. He wouldn't want a spend a second in Reach's company. Erik swallowed hard, tears blurring his vision. -Please don't. Please don't do it," he once again pleaded miserably from Reach, even if he knew deep down that it wouldn't make any difference.

-I'll...I'll do whatever you want," Erik hastily promised.

Reach gave him a stunned look. He was quiet for a moment, eyeing Erik as if he had just seen him through new eyes. -Truly...I would have never expected to hear something like that from you, Erik. You surely wouldn't have done anything like this for me after Trask." Then his distantly hurt look vanished, and he flashed Erik a light smile. -I can't wait to see into your mind and know what has happened between you and my shadow version during these months. Well, before I wipe it away, that is."

Then he turned to Charles. -But first, let's get rid of you."

Erik was almost drowned by fear, by agony, and his ears rang. Some tears escaped his eyes, and Erik didn't even care if anybody saw him like this. He didn't care at all. He wouldn't probably have recognized himself at this moment if the scene had been shown to him at any other moment in his life, but Erik wasn't able to hold on to the remains of fearless facade and self-control. There was none of that left. There was just bare, pure fear that stabbed itself through to the deepest parts of him.

-NO. Don't! Please," Erik breathed out, but his voice broke and the lump in his throat made it hard to breath. Erik once again pulled himself angrily further away from the cuffs, only causing himself pain - but the cuffs held. He was so madly infuriated by the fact that he had been stripped powerless, reduced to a pathetic prisoner, only able to watch. Erik wished his own bones would be weaker, so they could snap and let him go.

Reach ignored his desperate thrashing, and turned to look at Charles. He gave him a polite nod. -Don't worry, I'll be civil about it," he said to Charles.

Charles just shook his head with endless sorrow in his face. -We are not like this," he whispered to himself, barely audible.

But Reach paid no attention to him, just straightened himself instead, clearly getting ready. Erik just shook his head so hard it hurt, tears flowing freely to his cheeks now. His whole world seemed to stop and slow down. -DONT!" Erik shouted.

But Reach locked his eyes to Charles' and said simply: -Stop breathing."

Erik blinked and stared in horror, his brain only then realizing that Reach was going to kill Charles with telepathy, now that Charles didn't have his own to back him up. Charles had no way to fight back or resist Reach. All this time, Erik had expected the Chimera to use guns or poison to kill Charles - not this. Never this. Erik let out a panicked wheeze as Charles' blinked in surprise too, and opened his mouth. But then Charles' eyes widened as he realized what Reach had done, and he swallowed hard. But he didn't breathe in - wasn't _able_ to breathe in anymore.

Charles was left opening and closing his mouth, trying to disobey, but couldn't.

Nausea hit Erik, stronger than ever before, as he realized he would have to witness Charles suffocating to death. Choking. Slowly suffering.

-STOP IT," Erik shrieked, his wrists openly bleeding now.

Charles was frozen in the middle of the room, completely soundless as he weakly shook from failed attempts to breathe. But Reach's grip on his mind held, and Reach stepped backwards as colour started to slowly drain out of Charles' face. Erik felt a rush of Charles' panic bleeding through their link. Erik tried to tighten his own grip from the link, to force Charles to stay and not give in, but he knew he couldn't defy the laws of physics or anatomy.

Erik couldn't breathe for Charles, couldn't help him break Reach's simple but destructive command.

He could only watch, tears flowing numbly to his cheeks.

Agonizing seconds passed.

Charles' legs trembled and he slumped deeper into the soldier's grip, eyelids fluttering just a little, as if he was starting to lose consciousness.

Time crawled forward, no matter how much Erik tried to stop it - and soon his panic boiled over and he just screamed, screamed as he started to sense Charles' presence at the end of their link fading, turning weaker, getting more distant. Erik couldn't even hear his own screaming voice or feel any pain, all that mattered was _Charles_, and Erik begged and prayed for Charles to stay, to fight, clinging onto the link like a lifeline.

Erik's tear-filled eyes were glued to Charles as he started to slowly slip towards the floor.

_Mein Gott. Mein Gott. Nein, nein, nein..._

An animalistic howl escaped Erik's mouth, and his mind weeped after the light at the back of his head he could feel dulling. Charles' presence was disappearing slowly, like a candle that a strong wind was trying to blow and put out. Erik whimpered. -Charles..." he stuttered frantically, as if it would help.

The more horrible thing was the silence of it happening, of everyone just standing quietly as Charles was denied of oxygen.

Like a solemn funeral in itself.

It was like from a nightmare. Absurd, surreal nightmare.

Charles' legs gave in now, and the soldier lowered him to sit on the floor. Charles blinked hard as he looked up to Reach with wide eyes, clearly trying to remain awake and fight back to the telepathical command, but couldn't - the serum was still blocking too much of his powers. Charles' lips started to have a blue tint in them, and Erik feared his own heart might stop any second now for pounding so hard. Charles' eyelids fluttered as his head fell against the soldier's thigh, his already too pale face losing more colour.

_Erik, _came Charles' only coherent thought through the link, and Erik screamed out loud again, because he realized with horrible finality that this was the last time he would ever hear Charles' voice, that their link was stretching to snap already, that Charles was dying, _dying_, and he could do nothing to stop it. That soon Erik would be left with only Reach, and Charles would be forever gone.

The bonds in their link started to stretch and screech, like strong hands were trying to tear their minds apart.

Erik bit back and tried to hold on to his end with every bit of strength he had left.

He _refused_ to let Charles go.

Charles was now held up by the emotionless soldier, and despite his best efforts, Erik felt the link starting to shake and weaken alarmingly. Erik's panic deepened and the only thing he could think about _Dear God no...NoNoNoNo. CharlesNoDon'tMeinGottMeinGott. _Their bonds in their link started to reach their breaking points, and Erik stared at Charles' body growing lip. Erik was unable to hear his own screams. He had panicked flashes of himself being alone, for losing Charles forever, for feeling like he had felt in those short moments in the mansion - _alone, alone alone, broken, alone_. His tears kept flowing like an endless river, and Erik was glued to the sight of Charles and -

and then, Reach stepped right in front of him and blocked Erik's view from Charles.

Seconds seemed to slow down.

_Click._

It was like a switch going off.

Suddenly, there was a terrifying silence in the room as Erik stopped screaming.

Like in slow motion, Erik turned his tear-tracked face to Reach who was standing in front of him. All of Erik's fear, panic, hatred, fury and despair poured into that one gaze, his venomous and murderous rage directed at that horrible, merciless man in front of him. Reach looked at him with twisted gentleness, as if he was truly trying to make Erik feel better by blocking his view and stop him from witnessing Charles' last seconds on this Earth.

Something, something in Reach's small smile broke something in Erik.

He suddenly felt insanity taking over him.

True madness.

Like someone had been bending a twig so long that it finally snapped in two.

Something black and animalistic entered Erik's brain as he stared at Reach, unblinking.

Feral rage.

Reach opened his mouth. -It's over soon," he said in a comforting tone but Erik barely heard - it was like he was millions of miles aways. Erik's eyes slowly dropped to Reach's neck and spotted his pulse there, weakly jumping up and down. Pulse. Pulse. Reach's heart beating. The very same sound Erik had sought countless times before from _his_ Charles, holding Charles' wrists inside his own hands during countless nights. _Thum, thum._ Erik could spot the artery in Reach's throat. Erik could detect the faint movement it caused in Reach's skin.

Erik's thoughts weren't even verbalized or coherent anymore. Only thing he realized what was that _Charles' heartbeat_ would be soon quiet forever, and Reach's wouldn't.

Heartbeat.

Erik wanted to silence Reach's forever, wanted to rip him to pieces.

Erik could feel the link was about to snap. The first bonds were breaking already. Soon, Charles would be gone forever.

Slowly, Erik turned to look at Reach again, but now his tears had stopped flowing and there was no sound coming out from his mouth. An eerie, manic glint had entered Erik's eyes now. Erik didn't even feel human - he felt predatory, primitive. He stared at Reach for a few seconds and slowly Erik's lips started to curl into a cruel, terrifying smile as his mind suddenly knew what to do. And Reach was too late to realize what it was, even with his telepathy, because the impulse came from the very deepest parts of Erik's brain, and the shock and horror only started to take over Reach's face as Erik lashed out and threw his head towards his middle, and kicked his leg out as fast as he could. It was crazy luck that Reach was standing so close, _too_ close, that Erik managed to hit him. It was also partly because of his damaged spine that caused Reach's balance sway, even just for a moment. But it was enough for Erik, who just managed to grab his white shirt with his cuffed hand.

Erik kicked Reach's knee so hard with his own that Reach instantly lost his balance and crashed to the the floor, partly on top of Erik.

But the beast awakened in Erik took his chance, and grabbed Reach's shirt with his other hand, and his shoulder with another, pulling him swiftly closer. Then Erik brought his face forward as fast as lightning, placed himself right on top of that pulse point on Reach's throat, and he sunk his teeth into warm flesh.

Anyone who would have seen Erik do it would have fled out of the room. Reach let out a surprised, horrified scream as Erik's sharp teeth bit into his muscles and neck. At the back of his mind, Erik was distantly scared of himself, scared of what he was doing, but the primitive animal that had been driven to a corner without his powers or a weapon was using the only thing he had available - his teeth. Taste of blood entered Erik's mouth and there was a sick crunching sound that echoed into his skull. Before Reach had the chance to take over Erik's mind and stop him, Erik had done too much damage and the sheer pain made Reach collapse against Erik.

Blood started to bubble to Erik's mouth and clothes.

Suddenly the soldiers in the room just lost their rigid pose and fell bonelessly to the floor. Just like that - Reach's hold on them was suddenly gone. The red-haired woman turned to look at Erik with her eyes as wide as saucers, looking suddenly absolutely terrified, and fled the room as fast as she could. The whole underground Chimera facility seemed to sigh in synch, like a pressure wave was going through it. Power and control was withdrawing from it with terrible speed, because now it was lost. Reach's grip from it just vanished.

Just like that, it was gone.

Reach's control over the Chimera was gone.

Erik pulled himself back and let go, and Reach slumped to the floor instantly, blood starting spurt from his neck like a stream. Reach brought his hands against the wound in increasing panic and realization of what Erik had just done, and Erik spat blood to the floor. Blood that wasn't his, that was warm and fresh.

When Erik's eyes landed on Reach for the second time, it was only then when Erik realized what he had actually _done_.

His eyes widened in numb horror as he saw Reach looking up at him, his body shaking violently, as the broken skin on his throat was giving way to the warm, red blood quickly forming a puddle to the floor.

Erik couldn't help but to turn his head to the side and the nausea finally took over, forcing its way up. Erik heaved horribly and retched mainly saliva, but the tremors wrecked him more strongly, and everything was painted in red.

He didn't want to look at Reach, didn't want to hear how his ragged, wet breaths filled the room.

Erik was slowly coming back to himself, recovering from his animalistic burst.

He threw up again, feeling sick of himself. Erik felt no joy over the fact that he had fatally wounded Reach, because Reach still looked almost exactly like Charles, and the sight was so disturbing, and Erik was scared of how brutally he had just murdered the leader of Chimera, dying slowly on the too-white floor.

The only thing that kept Erik sane was the fact that he heard a soft gasp further away from the room, felt the pressure on the link easen, and Erik looked half-blindly to see Charles lying on the floor next to the fallen soldiers, drawing hungry breaths, his presence increasing at the back of Erik's head again.

Their extremely streched telepathical bonds were already going back to normal, getting steadier.

But Erik squeezed his eyes shut, traumatized for life, and mute tears broke out free again. He could still feel how the muscles and nerves had crunched between his teeth.

He barely heard how Charles struggled to sit and took the keys from a now-fallen soldier, and stumbled towards Erik. He fell two times on his way to the chair Erik was still cuffed to, but finally made it. Charles' breaths still sounded too deep and raspy, but Erik only concentrated on the fact that they were there in the first place. Charles was breathing - Erik allowed that to be the only thought in his head.

Otherwise he might have started falling apart.

Erik held his own breath as Charles' shaking hands opened the locks from the cuffs. Erik was careful not to look at Reach, or at anything else.

Then when finally the last cuff fell to the floor, Erik jumped up from the chair, pulling Charles to a safer distance from Reach and the red puddle growing next to him. When they had gotten a few metres away, Erik slumped to sit on the floor and pulling Charles with him; Charles' weak legs giving in because of all the moving and Erik's from the shock and disgust.

For a few few seconds, Erik tried to put himself together again.

It was only then when Erik managed to feel again, to breathe again, and he turned to look at Charles properly for the first time, face more vulnerable and open as ever before.

Erik took Charles' face into his hands, still crying silently, pulling him close. Erik tried to stutter out whether Charles was alright, but felt too sick to talk, so he just looked at Charles, scanning his face and the bruise on his cheek with his emotions written into his eyes, making sure he was really there, really alive. Capable of breathing again.

Charles just nodded to the unasked question, barely contained shock and horror-mixed worry in his eyes. Then Erik pulled Charles into a hungry embrace, almost crushing him against himself.

Erik drew short, clipped breaths as he held Charles close, tears still falling uncontrollably, his eyes fixated on the white wall behind him, seeing nothing. He drew in the scent of Charles, telling himself_ you're alive, you're alive, you're alive, Dank sei Gott, Dank sei Gott_.

Charles put his hands around Erik, too, trembling. Outside the room, distant screams and crashes could be heard.

The Chimera was falling apart.

Their leader had lost the control over the helmets, over the inner circle - and chaos ensued.

Erik felt like he was going to be sick again, because he could still taste blood in his mouth and remember in horrifying detail how the tearing flesh had felt between his teeth, but then he concentrated on the fact that Charles was there, right here, and he was warm and breathing and alive and alright. Erik breathed heavily in and out, not even able to form coherent thoughts or words.

They stayed like that for long seconds that felt like forever - the time it took until Reach's croaked breaths further away in the room were silenced for good.

Until he stopped moving.

Erik squeezed his eyes shut.

-H-he's gone, Erik," Charles whispered with a broken voice. -I-i-it's...over." he said, his voice shaking almost as badly as his body.

They had won. They had beat the Chimera - because without its leader, without their telepath, they were nothing. They had no control over the brainwashed mutants, they had no ways to assure the public about the vaccination. There were just a handful of hostile humans left.

But Erik didn't feel triumphant. He felt no joy.

He would be haunted by this moment for the rest of his life. No matter what they said about Magneto, Erik wasn't like_ this_. This kind of brutal, animalistic murder was too much even for him. It shook him to the core. Even if deep down, Erik knew he would do it again if absolutely necessary, if only to have Charles right here, only feel the way he breathed in and out.

Erik never wanted to let him go.

Never, ever, _ever._

But after short seconds, the noises outside started to grow stronger and Charles turned to look at the door. -Erik, I...I t-think we need to leave."

Erik just squeezed him harder against himself as a panicked reaction. Charles' fingers brushed his shoulder. -It's okay..." Charles whispered. -It's alright...I'm here. We both are. It's over now...He...He can't harm you...or me anymore."

Erik let out a breathless gasp and inhaled the scent of Charles. For a moment, Erik let himself bury his face into Charles' hair, trying to quiet down the mute sobs that made him tremble. He had never felt this wrecked in his whole life. Dirty with blood and trauma. Primitive and bare, almost skinned alive. Driven to the point of tearing an artery open with his bare teeth.

Slowly, Charles started to pull back, and Erik had to conciously stop himself from clinging onto him like a scared child.

-Come on, Erik," Charles whispered, trying to sound calmer than he was. Erik devoured the way he recognized the look on Charles' face, with authentic gentleness and his blue eyes fixed on Erik's. For a moment, they shared a glance, even if it was obvious they needed to leave. Then Charles flashed a weak, shaky smile. -Help me up, would you."

And as soon as Erik had something to do, he felt like he could function again. He scrambled to his feet, simultaneously pulling Charles to stand. Erik avoided not to look at unmoving Reach further away. They started to move towards to the door, and Erik glanced at the unmoving soldiers on the floor.

-I think they will be fine," Charles mumbled. -They just...just need a moment to...remember. To heal."

Erik nodded. But before he reached the door handle, Erik suddenly turned quickly and rushed to the small sink nearby, almost tearing the tap open and hastily filled his mouth with fresh and cold water, washing the horrible taste from his mouth, swiping his lips, feeling sick the way the water turned red. He wanted to scrub the taste from his teeth, to wipe the images from his head.

Erik spent a few seconds there and then closed the tap hurriedly.

Erik gave no further thought to it so he could hold onto his sanity. He rushed to Charles again and yanked the door open.

Without sparing another look to the unconscious soldiers or the fallen Chimera leader, Erik dragged Charles away from the room.

* * *

Outside, it was full-blown chaos.

People were screaming, fighting, running around and breaking windows. A lot of mutants were pounding on doors, trying to get out of their cells. Countless helmet-wearing Chimera soldiers were frozen in their places or sitting on the floors, confusion and fear in their faces - now freed from their control. Some of the remaining humans loyal to Chimera were trying to keep order, but there were too little of them to make a difference.

It was spiraling out of hand.

Everyone was acting like a caged animal, and as if this was a sinking ship. The corridors looked like scenes from a nightmare.

As the leader of the Chimera had fallen, so had the organization.

There was no control or order left here.

But Erik had no time or energy to ponder on that. He just kept dragging Charles forward. Fortunately the nameless red-haired woman had left the big metal door hanging open in her hurry to get away, and Erik felt distantly grateful for that.

Charles had some trouble to keep his steps steady, so Erik half-carried him most of the way.

Erik had no idea where they could go to get outside, so he kept going to the direction their original cells had been in.

-Erik?" Charles said, but Erik kept going frantically.

-Erik, are you sure we should go outside? I mean, the other me told you that they had a press event coming soon. They probably have the arrangements going on out there. There might a lot of journalists, hundreds of innocent people..."

But Erik was still too shaken from what had happened to spare a thought to that. -We need to get out," Erik managed to mumble. -We need to get out now." That was his only thought.

Charles followed him, even if somewhat reluctantly. -But...but there will be panic if this chaos spreads outside. This could end into a bloodbath. The humans won't probably know what's going on in here, don't know how to react if everyone just breaks out free at the same time."

Erik cherished the way he could recognize Charles' never-ending worry and empathy, but he was too deeply bothered to be able to think clearly. He just kept dragging Charles forward. Erik forced himself to answer: -They will...they will handle it. The humans. But we need to get out. To safety." Erik felt like he couldn't breathe as long as they were inside. He needed to get _out_.

Out of this horrible place.

Out of the Chimera.

He couldn't feel safe before that happened.

So they just kept going. Erik just kept following his instincts. After some few dead-ends, Erik finally spotted a door that looked a lot like an emergency exit. But when he tried to open it, it was locked. Erik hit the door handle in frustration. He wanted_ out_. He wanted out, he didn't want to hear these people screaming anymore. He wanted to scrub his head with a bleach to forget Reach, to forget that this horror factory was ever real. But most importantly, he wanted to take Charles into safety.

Erik glared at the handle. If he had his powers, it would be a child's play to him. Stubbornly, Erik took a firm grip from the handle and yanked it hard - but the door held. Desperately, Erik searched out for his powers. There was barely anything yet, the serum still running inside his veins. But in barely contained aftershock of what had just happened, Erik yelled out and tore the handle, forcing forward every fraction of his powers he could.

With a screeching sound, the handle gave in. Erik almost fell backwards as he was left holding the now broken handle, staring at it dumbfoundedly. Then he quickly recovered and dropped it to the floor, kicking the door open.

Heavenly brush of outside air and dim light greeted Erik, and it felt like it was the first time he could breathe in a very, very long while. He spotted some kinds of docks in front of him, and water to his right. But his relief was short-lived.

-Erik!" Charles suddenly shouted in alarmed tone, and Erik turned his face just in time to see a white blinding light directed at them. It was so bright that Erik had to shut his eyes, temporarily unable to see anything. But before that he had caught a look of two armed men standing in front of them. Erik didn't stop to think, he just acted. -Erik, WAIT!" Charles yelled, but Erik worked out in instinct.

He let go of Charles and lashed out, targeting the man closest to him, blinking back his vision angrily. It was too late when Erik saw the uniform and realized that the man in front of him was a police officer - an officer who looked surprised to be attacked. But before Erik could stop himself, he had already jumped against the man and made them both fall, knocking the man unconscious in the progress.

-Man down, man down!" someone shouted.

Erik glanced at the officer he had just taken down - the man would very likely wake up with a headache but he should be otherwise fine. Erik cursed himself a little - this man clearly wasn't here to help the Chimera, probably quite the opposite. It had been an unnecessary fight, then. But years and years living in danger had made Erik's reactions too automatic, so his brain had just gone to auto-pilot. Erik scrambled up and stepped carelessly over the fallen officer, back towards where he had came from.

They could probably explain the situation to the police, no matter how much Erik disliked working the human authorities. Maybe the police would even help clearing out the labs...

But Erik's thoughts were interrupted as another police ran towards Charles. Charles tried to lift his hands up in a peaceful gesture but it came too late, and the police officer had already violently shoved him backwards, clearly not taking another risk of a fight like Erik had provided.

-Raise your hands into the air and get down on the ground," someone further away shouted to Erik. -I repeat - get down on the ground."

But Erik didn't even listen. Only thing he see was Charles staggering backwards, losing his balance and falling to the dark water behind him. There was a splashing sound - the water Erik had spotted briefly after coming out the door turned out to be a deep river next to the huge Chimera facility. The police officer clearly hadn't expected Charles to fall in, but Erik knew Charles' legs had already been fading. Charles had barely been able to stand on his own, so he had no chance of regaining his balance after a shove like that.

Charles had instantly disappeared under the surface.

It took a moment before Erik registered what he saw.

_NO. NoNoNo. _Erik slowly realized the true danger of the situation. Charles had already been losing his legs again - he wouldn't be able to swim. He would sink. He would_ drown_. All of Erik's previous panicked thoughts resurfaced, as he vividly saw Charles gasping mutely for a breath he couldn't inhale. Charles would suffocate, just like before.

_Erik!_, came Charles' startled voice through the link. Erik caught some muddled fear from Charles, and the sensation of water surrounding Charles.

And that was the only thing that fitted into Erik's head now, all peaceful or co-operative thoughts gone, and he snarled at the baffled police officer in front of him, grabbed him from behind and hurled him against the Chimera's lab wall so hard that the man surely broke a bone. The man slumped to the ground and didn't get up. Erik stepped hastily to the edge of the dock and threw himself to the dark water.

The water was cold - that was Erik's first thought.

There was barely any light, it was too dark, and bubbles surrounded Erik. The pressure of the water increased as Erik swam deeper.

_Erik_, Charles' distressed voice rang to his head. _I can't get up. I can't get up..._

Erik only sent an unverbalized promise of getting to him as an answer. Erik could barely see anything, and he was just going forward based on an instinct.

_Where are you?!_

Erik was trying to force his eyes to see anything, to turn his head, but it was too dark.

He could feel Charles' growing helplessness, how his legs didn't respond the way they should. How he kept sinking, despite how hard he was trying to swim back up. _Erik!_

Old guilt flared up in Erik for what had happened in Cuba. He cursed inside his head as he turned his head in the black water, trying to see something, anything. He was slowly starting to feel the burn of his lungs, of the need for oxygen. But Erik wouldn't get up without Charles. He had to find him first. _Charles! _

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the water was filled with a light that made every floating piece of dirt and weed visible in perfect clarity, and Erik only vaguely realized it was a spotlight from a police helicopter aimed down at them. But he didn't care because now he could_ see,_ and he spotted Charles further away, sinking slowly, struggling to swim.

Erik dived after him. The few seconds it took to reach Charles seemed to last forever. But finally, Erik took a firm grip on him._ I'm here. I'm here, _he sent frantically. Erik started pulling them both up as fast as he could.

Erik's still healing ribs ached distantly as he was holding his breath, but he didn't care.

For some reason, Erik realized in a fleeting moment that this was almost the exact way they had first met. Underwater, black masses and bubbles surrounding them. But now, their roles were reversed - it was Erik who was pulling Charles up. But Erik waved the thought off as they broke the surface.

It was then when there was finally time for Erik to feel the actual fright and fear for what had happened. Erik took a deep breath, pulling Charles closer to himself. As soon as Charles got his head properly above the surface, he started immediately coughing. They were both dripping water, and the wind was causing small waves all around them. Erik knew they had to get up.

He started pulling them back to the docks, ignoring everything that the police officers were shouting at them. They needed to get into safety - Erik's already exhausted body was functioning on fuels. He wouldn't be able to hold them both up for a very long time.

Erik took a grip from the edge of the wooden dock. He could hear sirens somewhere in the distance.

When Erik had finally gotten them both away from the water, he looked around, but there were nobody else close by. There were sounds of fighting and radio static somewhere far away. Increasing screams, too. Erik guessed that the press event and escaping mutants from the Chimera were causing a havoc and mayhem somewhere. Like Charles had predicted, the humans had probably got the wrong idea of what was going on, and the mutants were just too scared to think clearly - they just wanted escape.

Erik swallowed hard as he realized that the misunderstandings from boths sides could very well turn into bloodbath.

But right now, there was nothing he could do about it.

The police helicopter's spotlight was searching for them in the water, and Erik suddenly realized that at any moment now, they would spot him and Charles.

And Erik knew how this went down if his guess was right. The police had a chaos situation at hand, and Erik had attacked two of their officers - from the air it must've looked like he had killed them instead of just knocking them out. Erik knew that the people in that helicopter had every license and order to open fire at him and Charles, since from their point-of-view, they might have been posing a threat. So now Erik held onto the hope that they wouldn't fire as long as Erik wouldn't lash out again - which he had no intention of doing.

Erik slumped bonelessly against the docks and took a breath. He was soaking wet. Charles was too, and still coughing weakly next to him, dripping water everywhere.

Some of Erik's powers had started coming back - maybe it was the adrenaline causing it - because he could very vaguely feel the guns that the knocked out police officer's had had with them lying further away, and he sensed more guns aimed at them from the helicopter in the air.

But they should be safe now. Erik was almost too relieved to believe it. If they stayed here, unmoving, the police would leave them unharmed. They still had some order and civil code of conduct, after all. And maybe, just _maybe_ the police forces would start freeing the mutants from the labs.

Erik turned to look at Charles, who was still coughing some water out.

This should be finally over.

They should be finally safe.

It was that thought that unlocked Erik's suppressed emotions - relief, exhaustion, disbelief, shock. It was like an aftershock of what they had just gone through. Erik felt utterly grateful that they were both here, that they had made it out from the labs. They were both _here._ And Reach was dead. Without him, the Chimera had been destroyed beyond repair. The remaining branches should be naturally taken out, but still - their leader was gone. They had no real power.

Erik looked at Charles, soaking wet but alive and breathing. Erik could feel their link humming in the background, and his eyes softened.

He had never felt like this before in his life.

Erik felt like he had gotten a second chance - second chance to finally say and do all the things he hadn't before. To make up for the lost time. Make Charles see into Erik's mind and soul - to realize the true extent of how much more Erik now knew, of how differently he saw certain things. How much he appreciated and cherished Charles just the way he was, how Erik would never let anything bad happen to him again.

They had been granted more time - the time Erik had desperately yearned and wished for back in the cells.

Time.

Erik let a weak smile take over his lips, because despite the horrors and violence, he felt better than he had felt in a very, very long time. He had finally understood something very basic, something important about his life, about himself and Charles. He had been so angry and lonely for so long. So out of place. But he didn't feel like that now. Because Erik knew that there was that quiet, small safe place of peace Erik could find only by Charles' side that almost made all the cracks inside him heal. Made him complete and unafraid, in a way that being Magneto never could. Made him feel _right_.

Erik had been forced to look at his own desires in the eye - he had had to see Reach, to witness the metamorphosis that Charles could be driven to. Erik had faced the personification of his own ideals, of his own accusations and angry arguments that he had ever thrown at Charles. It suddenly clicked to Erik - Reach had been frighteningly right when he had told Erik that he had been Erik's mirror image. The person Erik had always wanted to make Charles into was just, in the end; Erik himself with telepathy attached. An endlessly powerful, determined and not afraid to take action. Erik could recall Reach's works with disturbing clarity: _"I am your fantasy, your dream come true. I am your never-ending God complex - your way to get appreciated and worshipped and feared - to feed your lust for power." _Erik bit his lip. He couldn't deny the almost ugly truth in those words._"Even better - I am _you_. And I am playing god - just like you always wanted me to."_

But Reach was now gone. Erik had killed him - along with the _idea_ of Reach. The idea of Charles that he had always been searching out for. Erik felt almost grateful that he had no doubts about it anymore - he didn't want Charles to change. Charles was perfect just the way he was, just the way Erik had learnt to know him. Even with his countless flaws that still drove Erik to the walls. And that quiet realization seemed final and irreversible. The case was closed.

Maybe this was how Erik finally made his peace with Charles, the way Charles had made his peace with Erik in the mansion. For Charles, it had been about forgiveness, for Erik - understanding.

The simple but strong epiphany dawned on Erik, there and then, and Erik lost all of the remaining fight he still might have had when it came to Charles Xavier. He kept coming back to Charles - Charles had been right about that. It was like Erik had been addicted to him from the moment they've met, trying to get some kind of a fix, but never really getting what he wanted. It had never felt right of fulfilling before - not until now, not until this exact moment.

Erik had been proved wrong, because he had been wrong about so many things - about Charles' telepathy, about his past and the way Charles' powers should be used. It was like Erik had finally been able to return the trust Charles had always tried to give to him about making his own choices.

It was almost scary how easily that thought now came to him, as natural as breathing.

Erik didn't want to change a thing about Charles, not anymore. Not probably ever.

And quite frankly, Erik was sure he could never properly leave Charles behind.

And the most peculiar thing was - he didn't even _want_ to.

Erik let out a long breath, just watching as Charles' breaths were getting back to normal.

Erik was just about to open his mouth to talk when the moment was suddenly broken by a loud, banging sound. Erik startled as he heard the Chimera door they had escaped from opening, and few panicked mutants rushed out from it.

Seconds seemed to slow down.

Erik realized in few nanoseconds that these mutants would cause the police officers in the air to fire, because they wouldn't know what was happening.

Before Erik had time to do anything beside gasp in surprise, warning shots rang for the few mutants that had escaped through the door. Erik was ready to shout out after the mutants, to make them stand down, but some of the mutants had probably been Chimera prisoners for months - they were disoriented and afraid, easily triggered. It was almost inevitable that they were provoked by anything vaguely threatening. Erik didn't even have time to turn to look and see what active powers some of the mutants had, but could hear that some of them was clearly using theirs by aiming it towards the police - causing a chain reaction.

Erik could sense through his weak powers that safety clicks were switched off somewhere in the distance, and that metal was aimed at them.

Erik yelped in angry fear as he quickly pushed himself to his side and threw himself over Charles, just before bullets started to rain down everywhere.

Charles gasped out in surprise, glancing up to the sky and blinking hard, clearly shocked of what was happening. Erik stiffened, cursing under his breath, desperate frustration taking over. He pushed himself a bit futher and quickly made sure that he was covering Charles' body with his own, bringing his hands to protect Charles' head.

Cloud of splinters exploded into the air as some of the bullets hit the wood of the docks.

Charles flickered his wide eyes to Erik as he only then realized what Erik was doing. But Erik was too busy concentrating on the metal coming down at them - he realized in disturbing helplessness that he could only barely have any impact on the bullets. He managed to push them just a little to the side, but not redirecting them fully. And there were too many of them coming down.

It was then when it clicked to Erik with full clarity.

The whole seriousness, the inevitability.

Erik just knew how this was going to end.

He knew it - it was only a matter of time before the police officers would start hitting their targets. Rules of probability.

Erik hurried to look at Charles.

He could sense Charles' confusion and frustration towards the police, how Charles concluded that the humans had no idea what was really going on down here, that they were just carrying down orders and firing to possibly violent people. Erik could see the helpless anger in Charles' face as he realized that the police didn't know that the building next to them was the Chimera's horrible torture prison that just been brought down, and the freshly freed mutants were scared and alone and ready to use their powers or mutations against anyone who tried to stop them from escaping from it. But without his telepathy, Charles couldn't stop the humans from firing, and Erik had no chance of controlling the metal of their bullets either.

It was like a bleak chain of misunderstandings.

Erik swallowed, sad finality settling over his chest.

-Charles," Erik called with a surprisingly calm voice. Charles' flickered his eyes to Erik, coughing one last time from the water. -Erik, we need to get into cover," he whispered and flinched as a bullet hit the water close to them.

But Erik was increasingly filled with peaceful stillness as he looked down at Charles, careless about the mutants somewhere further away.

Erik knew it was only a matter of time now.

He had maybe seconds.

Ten, twenty seconds if he was lucky.

So he needed to use them well.

-Charles," he called again, drawing Charles' startled attention as he turned to look at Erik, panic growing in his eyes. -Erik, we need to..." Charles was about to say again with urgent tone, but his voice faded as he saw the look on Erik's face.

Suddenly Charles realized what Erik was thinking, and shock spread to his face.

-No. No, Erik - no..." Charles suddenly whispered with a raspy voice, eyes widening. -No."

Erik gave a sad smile as Charles caught up with Erik's train of thought, what he _knew_ that was coming. Charles took an unsteady breath and blinked hard as tears started to glisten in his eyes.

Erik looked at him gently. -There is no way to go," he said quietly.

Charles shook his head stubbornly, and tried to push Erik away weakly, but Erik was heavier and bigger. And without having his telepathy, Charles couldn't make Erik move. He was trapped there. Charles gave Erik's shoulder one weak push before he let out a desperate moan, and looked anxiously up at Erik.-There always is something," he said hurriedly with a strained, torn voice. Bullets whirled everywhere on the docks. -Don't give up now, Erik." Charles whispered.

More splinters flew up to air nearby, and Charles winced from the sound, and looked at Erik with his too-blue, pleading eyes. -Not after everything."

Erik was about to answer when the first bullet hit him, causing a whirring sound in the air and then sank into his leg, somewhere between his left knee and ankle. He couldn't help but to yelp out in pain, and Charles' face lit up with worry. -Erik!" he shouted with growing panic in his voice.

Erik grimaced and breathed through his nose. He tried to ignore the pain because had no time, he had _no time_ to waste, and he knew it. -Charles..." he once again called.

He needed to say it.

Something, anything.

He felt like he had million things to say, but had only time for a few words.

Erik could feel blood starting to pour out of him. Flowing slowly - red and iron-filled blood from the first bullet hole that would be soon joined by others - there was no doubt or question about it.

Soon there would be more.

But Erik wasn't ready to leave this world without finally voicing something that had been building up inside of him for all these months. All the warmth, the caring, protectiveness...Everything that had bloomed into life in the darkest and most abandoned corners of his mind, the places nobody had been able to touch or heal before. Or to leave their imprint on them. The very places Erik had for so long believed that would remain dead and gone forever - a graveyard of everything good and bright still left in him.

The desert that was now growing dark flowers, pushing through the cracks on the concrete.

He needed Charles to _know_.

More bullets broke the surface of the river next to them, or hit the wooden docks with a rattle.

Time seemed to slow down.

Charles looked up at Erik, their eyes locking. Charles was falling into a panic, but Erik felt calm, and brushed Charles' healthy cheek with his fingers gently. He opened his mouth, almost stopping himself to talk before the last minute. But then he forced his voice to work:

-I have never believed in the existence of love," Erik whispered.

Charles froze completely.

The river splashed as more bullets hit the surface.

And then Erik felt another bullet sinking into his back, into the skin between his spine and side, and he grunted in pain, gritting his teeth. -Erik!" Charles cried, trying to reach out to him, to move, but couldn't.

It was better this way, Erik thought as pain exloded into to his nerves, as it washed over him. Clock was ticking. Blood spurted out of him, Erik could feel it.

Soon, soon. He needed to be quicker.

But he was already too much in pain to talk out loud, no matter how stubborn he was. So Erik just looked down at Charles, pain starting to cloud his vision. _I've never believed that love exists, because the concept of it always seemed surreal to me. And naive. Just human...human nonsense._

Tears filled Charles' eyes. He was taking shallow breaths, barely holding himself together.

Erik gave a small smile through the pain his every muscle and nerve end was signalling. _I never...believed in things like that. In this world full of hatred and prejudice._

-Erik, please... you need to..." Charles begged, but the loud sound of another bullet barely missing Erik's head made Charles jump a little, wincing in fear.

Erik could feel the sand in the hourglass slipping into nothing. He ignored the approaching death, ignored the Russian roulette of bullets around him, the gambling with time. He refused to go before he had said this. Erik's stroked Charles' cheek again, almost absent-mindedly, then sinking his fingertips into Charles' wet hair. Erik locked his eyes with Charles', radiating all the warmth into his gaze that his body couldn't feel anymore, speaking through their link: _But if I ever had felt love...any form of it..._

More bullets, barely missing Erik's arm. Erik curled his fingers protectively around Charles' face.

_...then certainly, Charles...it would have been for you._

Erik had barely time to see tears starting to leak miserably out of Charles' eyes and breath-taking amount of emotions filling them, when a third bullet hit his shoulder, and Erik lost the ability to hold himself up. He slumped down, forehead bumping into Charles'.

Erik drew shaky breaths, white noise increasing at the back of his mind. The edge of his vision was slowly taken over by black dots, and he couldn't feel his body properly anymore. Coldness and numbness and white fire was spreading to it in waves. The pain was clouding his brain, pulling him under. He was losing too much blood. His ears rang, and he could barely hear the rest of the world.

But he still felt calm.

His time had almost ran out.

-Erik..." came Charles' broken and panicked, teary voice, accompanied by a sob. He started crying quietly, hands trembling uncontrollably.

Erik let out a shuddering, ragged breath, more bullets whirling around him. But Charles' body was safely tucked under him. Charles would survive, he would live through this - Erik was sure of it. And that was all that mattered to him. If this was Erik's last deed upon this Earth, it surely was the best one he could have ever wished for.

Erik's face was almost pressed completely against Charles' now, and Erik felt his world blackening and tilting in a dizzying way.

Charles was shivering with tears, reaching towards Erik through their link, surrounding Erik's pained mind with so much empathy, worry, affection and fear that it was almost overwhelming. Like he was sheltering Erik's mind from pain as Erik's body was sheltering him from the bullets. Charles tried to hold onto him, to wrap their minds more strongly together.

But there was nothing Charles could do.

Erik was slipping away.

_Leb wohl,_ Erik whispered. And without giving it a thought, he blindly pressed his lips against Charles' - wet, soft and tasting like salt water. Their lips met and their link sparked to life for one more time, humming in harmony. Erik forgave himself for stealing this one parting gift, no matter surprising it was to himself that he had even done it. It wasn't even a kiss - it was a thank you, it was affection, protectiveness, apology - one last goodbye, because Erik's head was becoming quiet and he couldn't see anything anymore.

The warm air Charles gasped out into Erik's mouth became Erik's last, shuddering breath, as his world blackened and he felt himself falling.

Then it was quiet.


	28. Chapter 28

**HOSPITAL REPORT**

Incoming patient: **Lehnsnerr**,** Erik.**  
Code: 7765  
Source of injuries:** Firealarm bullets**  
Description: **Severe blood loss, tissue damage**

Time of death: **7.27 AM**

* * *

**HOSPITAL REPORT** - **CORRECTION**

Incoming patient: **Lehnsnerr**,** Erik.**  
Code: 7765  
Source of injuries:** Firealarm bullets**  
Description: **Severe blood loss, tissue damage**

_Time of death: _**_7.27 AM - INCORRECT_****  
****CORRECTION:** Vital signs returned after continued treatment. Was declared dead at 7.27 AM, but the medical director continued the treatment of the patient against the hospital conduct § 899. Further inspection of conduct violation and errors required. Error reference: 74C.

* * *

**HOSPITAL REPORT**

Incoming patient: **Xavier, Charles F.**  
Code: 7768  
Source of injuries:** Firealarm bullet**  
Description: **Minor injuries**

**FURTHER NOTES: **Was brought in with the patient 7765. Only minor injuries were detected, but the patient fell into a deep coma at 7.27 AM**. **Consciousness returned 78 hours later. No lasting cognitive damage reported.

**ADMINISTRATION NOTE:** Further inspection of the first-aid procedures and possible injury evaluation mistakes required. Deep coma (stage 3A) should not have occurred without serious head trauma in the patient, but none was found. Error reference: 005D.


	29. Chapter 29

There was only darkness.

It wasn't that kind of black and endless darkness that was in the bottom of a sea.

No.

It was soft and complete.

Somewhere, right at the edge of it, there was light though.

Warm and safe, inviting light.

Without shapes or limits - it was endless.

* * *

Erik had never died before.

And despite everything he has ever claimed, he is aware that not all the things he has done in his life could be considered exactly good - even if they were done for the right reasons. Erik had never really spent time thinking about the afterlife - he had never truly believed in heaven or hell. But despite of that, he had always had this bleak certainty that if there in fact was a heaven somewhere, it wasn't meant for him. And Erik was fine with that. After all, there was too much blood, gore and crimes on his hands. Too much dirt and murder and pain included in his life.

Yes - they could keep their heaven.

What could there even possibly be that it could offer Erik?

All the good things Erik had ever gotten a taste of during his life had been brief. Lukewarm. Meaningless.

They never had really mattered.

Well...at least until the very last months of his life. During them, Erik had been granted one miracle - of finding himself capable of feeling things beside rage and bitterness.  
Things he would have never imagined himself feeling after he had watched his mother getting murdered in front of his eyes and he had been taught not to get attached to anyone. Ever. But then...for the shortest of times...there had been good things - bright things. Things that made Erik feel strong and alive in the right kind of way - unlike being Magneto. Magneto was all about power, fear and revenge.

Erik had, for a very long time, made no difference between himself and Magneto. Because how could there be a difference - they were, after all, the same person?

That had been until Reach.

But Erik didn't want to think about Reach.

He couldn't even properly remember what that was all about, because he couldn't really grasp any solid things in here - whatever this place was.

His mind searched for someone else entirely. Someone familiar, warm and kind. _Charles._

His ridiculous telepath with his too-long hair and distractingly blue eyes. That was Erik's only coherent memory, only thought and light in this pitch black darkness. It was like a candle that drew him like a moth to a flame, stopping him to slip away and get swallowed by the darkness. Erik's whole existence sparked with affection for the thought. But there was also yearning, a constant ache, because somewhere right at the edge of his mind, Erik craved to reach for that bright flame - no matter how much it might burn him. Maybe he _wanted_ to burn. Because he wasn't ready to go, not yet. He had been interrupted. Cut off. Cast aside, denied of the chance to see what would happen if he actually reached for the flame. It was too early - there should have been more _time_.

Death seemed awfully final.

* * *

Falling.

Sensation of falling.

Endlessly.

At one point, Erik was almost certain he saw his mother's face. She was smiling.

But then he was falling again, and didn't see her again.

* * *

Erik wondered if this was the end, if these were his last moments before he would disappear.

He didn't know how much time had passed, or what had happened.

Even his last memories and coherent thoughts were gone.

There was no pain, no discomfort.

He just was.

* * *

_...rk. _

_Erik..._

_Erik! _

_Stay with me! Can you hear me?_

_Stay with me, please..._

* * *

Erik was certain that he wasn't supposed to be here anymore. He just somehow _knew_. He should have been gone already.

But it felt like an insivible rope was keeping him in place, forcing him not to go.

It held, and held, even if Erik had the vaguest understanding that it shouldn't, that there was something wrong with this.

_Hold on._

_I'm right here, Erik._ _I'm right here...I'm not letting you go._

Gentle, comforting whispers reached Erik in the darkeness, echoing oddly.

_Erik_..._I'm with you. You're not alone._

Erik almost felt like the darkness was about win, to pull him down_, _but the odd rope was still clinging into him.

_Erik..._

_It's your choice. It's your choice, but I won't leave you._

Erik hesitated.

_I will be with you wherever you will go._

Erik hovered, and lingered.

But there was something almost like a magnetic pull towards the light he could still faintly feel, and Erik suddenly felt like there was something he could grab a hold of, to pull himself back with.

For a moment that simultaneously felt like a blink of an eye and an eternity, Erik hesitated between the two sides, between the direction he knew he should have gone already, and the one that was trying to hold on to him. But as he lingered there, fractions of light and warmth poured from the rope that was stopping from slipping away.

There should have been more time, Erik thought. He had always thought that if he ended up here, he would just go. That he had no reason to go back, that the life he had spent upon Earth had already showed him everything there was. And there had been nothing good in it - just pain and misery. Until..._until_...

Erik's awareness shifted just a little towards the light. It was like floating in the sea, seeing the sunlight through the masses of water above. The dark bottom and the bright surface were equally far away from him; he was in the middle.

The sunlight seemed like it could burn his eyes, that it could consume him and swallow him whole. Erik's irrational mind wondered if that light was a _soul_, someone else's soul - if those things existed in the first place. Real or not, Erik felt a pull towards it. His messy memories suddenly conjured up the concept of soulmates, but he instantly thought that it was just plain ridiculous and childish, and Erik waved the thought off like an annoying feather. You could not be drawn to a soul, right? Magnetism shouldn't be applied to such abstract concepts. Surely magnetism couldn't be applied to people.

Yet, the deepest parts of Erik's awareness seemed to suddenly find the knowledge of how to get up. He realized he could pull himself up above the surface, that he had a way to go back.

It was his choice, just like the whispers had said.

Erik hadn't gotten to choose that many things in his life. Nobody had offered him the chance to do so. Well, until..._until._

Erik's existence hovered for a moment - this was his decision. He could let himself sink, it would be easy like falling asleep.

Or he could pull himself towards the light. He could get another chance.

Time passed, even if the concept of it in here was alien.

Finally, Erik made up his mind.

His awareness reached up, up, up - to the sunlight. With the aid of the invisible rope. Soon, the light started to get brighter, and the surface started to approach him with dizzying speed.

Just before Erik broke the surface, he was suddenly certain that he had made the right choice.

* * *

Dull pain followed soon.

Erik was surprised to feel it, to have bodily sensations again.

But slowly, disorienting sparks of pain and feeling and noise entered into his awareness, only to slip and morph and disappear again.

Erik remembered suddenly that he had a body, because it made itself known. Still and stiff, full of pulsating pain and substances inside his veins that pulled him under, time after time.

At some point, he was certain that he opened his eyes, but didn't see anything. There were noises, and anxious sensations bleeding from somewhere outside of himself, and Erik's eyelids drooped closed again.

He felt like swinging back and forth - into the noises and back into darkness again, in an endless dance.

But he never slipped back into the deafening abyss again.

Not even once.

Erik felt someone keeping him wrapped safely above it, making sure he wouldn't drown again. His hazy mind almost recognized that kind stubborness, almost - before he fell into dreamless sleep again.

* * *

Time passed, even if Erik wasn't sure how much.

* * *

Smell of a hospital.

That was the first thing Erik recognized after a long, long time spent in a blurry state - he would have known that smell everywhere. It took awful a lot of time, but Erik slowly managed to get his eyes open - properly, unlike before - and the reality suddenly came crashing in.

The smell of the hospital sharpened. Clean, white and too bright lights, that stung Erik's eyes and drilled into his conciousness. The sound of rain somewhere further away. Touch of sheets. His whole body numb, drugs flowing inside his veins.

Erik's sluggish mind halted in confusion - he wasn't dead. He was...definitely very much alive.

Erik had to blink slowly - his eyelids weighed like lead. It felt like there were heavy curtains drawn between him and the real world, making it hard to understand anything, to remember anything solid. Everything was vague and blurry.

_Erik_, came the sudden whisper into his awareness. It was breathed out with overflowing emotions - a relief so strong that it felt almost crushing. There was also joy and worry, and they all mixed into each other and slowly leaked into Erik's consciousness.

It took a moment before Erik realized that it had been his _name _that had been called. And that it hadn't been a thought of his own - it had come somewhere outside. The voice sounded familiar, and Erik felt like he should recognize it.

Erik tried to fix his eyes into something, his vision jittery and shaky. He sensed that someone was near, someone important and familiar, and Erik tried to turn his face towards that direction. It took horrible effort, like one small simple movement could completely drain him.

But then he succeeded, and Erik's eyes spotted someone next to him. As his vision swam into focus, he landed his eyes on Charles.

_Charles._

Erik's mind recognized him faster than his conscious thoughts did. But the automatic rush of warmth inside his head followed Charles' name, and Erik's tired eyes locked onto him, gaze slowly sharpening.

Charles was there, with dark rings under his eyes, pale skin and exhausted look on his face. His blue eyes were filled with so many emotions, so much _feel_ that Erik could sense some of it transferring it through to him - but the strongest one of them relief. It was washing over Erik in waves. He took a breath - it felt odd to breathe - and searched Charles' gaze.

When their eyes finally met, Charles squeezed his shut almost instantly, like it was too much for him, like he couldn't hold himself together any second longer.

Like he had been waiting for ages to see Erik's eyes again, but the moment he did, it still knocked him breathless.

Long seconds passed.

Erik vaguely realized Charles was shaking a little. He looked like he was about shatter into pieces. And then one tear escaped from the corner of Charles' right eye, and Erik's hazy mind felt a spike of worry. Why was Charles crying? What was wrong? Erik had no idea. Had no memory right now.

Charles swallowed hard and opened his eyes, blinking to keep the tears from falling. He looked at Erik again, biting his lip and tilting his head with a pained and relieved look on his face, like he couldn't believe that this was real.

As if Erik had just perfomed some kind of miracle.

Erik felt the urge to brush that tear away from Charles' face, because he didn't like seeing it there.

But Erik had no strength to do anything, to move. And he was too disoriented to remember how to talk, so he just stayed there, watching.

The hospital room felt distant, only Charles seemed to be real.

Everything else seemed unimportant. Meaningless. So Erik just kept his attention in him.

Charles took a shaky, shuddering breath and lifted a hand from the bed. It took Erik a few seconds to realize it was his _own_ hand - wrapped up with tubes and needles going in, barely any proper feeling in it. At any other time, Erik might have felt disgusted by seeing so much tubes going into his own skin, but right now his brain didn't have the capacity to ponder over it. Instead, he looked as Charles slowly wrapped his own hands carefully around Erik's.

For a moment, Charles hovered there, looking so fragile. Like he couldn't express what he was feeling, like there was no words for this reunion or this hope and relief that radiated from him. So wordlessly, Charles pressed Erik's hand against his face gently, as if it could break apart from the touch. His breaths were unsteady but warm on Erik's skin. Charles swallowed and then pressed a soft kiss on Erik's hand - there was a shade of desperation in the gesture, and Erik could vaguely remember Charles doing that same thing to someone else long time ago...but couldn't put his finger on the memory.

Charles lowered their joint hands quietly back on top of the bed, careful not to cause any pain, his movements light as a feather. Then Charles flashed a broken, sad smile to Erik - as if he tried to look braver than he actually felt.

_Get some sleep,_ Charles said quietly him without using any actual words, still smiling and barely holding back tears. Without months and months spent with the link between their minds, Erik's slowly working mind and logic would have claimed that it wasn't possible that he could hear Charles without him opening his mouth, but his sub-conscious just accepted it. Erik felt an incoming stream of comfort arriving to his mind, and mix of _safeSleepSafeErikRest_, and Erik trusted Charles automatically.

He let his eyelids slid closed again.

* * *

After that, he started waking up more frequently.

Every time he did, Erik felt increasingly more alerted, but also more in pain. He only woke up for a minute or two, just opening his eyes and and looking around the room.

Charles was always there.

Always.

Sitting on the left side of Erik's bed, no matter at what time Erik woke up. Night, day, afternoon - didn't matter.

Despite how exhausted and worn-out Charles looked, he was always there, smiling gently and encouragingly despite the hidden pain in his eyes, hovering next to him worriedly.

Despite he looked like he could shatter into pieces, Charles just always smiled and squeezed Erik's hand, radiating comfort and safety and warm thoughts into Erik's mind.

Erik had no energy to talk, so he just always listened to the link - now that he remembered its existence. He listened to Charles' presence, the small echoes of his emotions. It felt more healing than any drug they gave to him.

Sometimes, when Erik was already drifting asleep, he felt gentle caress at his arm, like a promise he was never alone.

* * *

After countless times of waking up and falling asleep, Erik was increasingly certain that he wasn't dead, or going to die anytime soon. As disorientating it all was, his slow mind had come to the conlusion that he was alive. And that this fact would not likely change.

But time still passed in a blur.

* * *

After what felt like a small eternity, Erik once slowly woke up and immediately noticed that something was different. His senses felt sharper, and the whole world seemed to be closer than ever before. Like he wasn't on the brink of dark oblivion all the time. His brain seemed to function - slowly - but enough to start verbalizing thoughts and making conclusions. Of making sense of where he was, and why.

It was a very early morning when it happened. It wasn't even bright outside yet.

When Erik blinked his eyes open, it didn't feel like he was surfacing from the depths. This time, the process was lighter, easier. His thoughts weren't so muddled.

Erik instinctively searched for Charles, and he was there on the left side of the hospital bed, like he always was.

Erik swallowed as he set his eyes upon Charles' face. He looked as tired as ever, but clearly paid no mind to himself.

For a moment, only the sound of a hospital clock ticking on the wall was the only sound in the room.

The blinds on the window had been closed.

Erik took a long breath and studied Charles for a while. He felt peaceful, and like there was no hurry with anything. He let his eyes wander for a while, just taking in Charles' face, every inch of it.

Charles seemed to notice that Erik was much more alert than usually. He studied Erik with a gentle look on his face.

-Hey," he said, voice raspy.

Erik tried to answer, but his throat felt too thick from the misuse. At first, he only managed to make a wheezing sound. Then he swallowed and coughed once, and tried again. -Hey," he replied quietly.

That earned him a warm smile from Charles.

There was a pause, and Charles tilted his head, as if calculating if Erik was ready to talk more.

-How are you feeling?" he asked carefully, his fingers curling around Erik's wrist. Erik's glanced at his own arm lying on the bed, and the way Charles' fingers looked wrapped around it. His lips tugged into a faint smile, despite his body felt like he had been hit by a truck - repeatedly. Erik drew his eyes slowly back up to Charles.

-Been better," he mumbled tiredly.

Charles breathed out and nodded, giving a small smile for Erik's light tone, but it also looked too controlled, as if Charles' emotions were all over the place under the calm facade. -Certainly you have," Charles whispered, and something almost like guilt darkened his face. He dropped his eyes, swallowing hard. Erik could sense a spike of self-loathing bleeding through the link from Charles' end. Erik felt frustrated to catch it, even if it took Erik a moment to realize _why_, as things started to slowly come back to him: the Chimera, Reach, the police officers...His memories were blurry and lacked details_, _but he couldn't stand seeing that guilt painted all over Charles' slumped shoulders and face._  
Don't...don't blame yourself, _he sent to Charles.

Charles looked up, surprised, as if he hadn't guessed Erik could catch some things from his end. Then he turned to look apologetic. -I'm...I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to...My shields and blocks aren't at their best now."

Erik huffed tiredly. Of course they weren't - Charles looked like he hadn't slept properly in ages. Erik eyed the bruise on Charles' cheek - now almost completely faded, the remaining bits turning greenish as they were healing. Soon it would be gone completely. Erik realized that he had no idea how much time had passed since..._since_.  
-How...how long?" Erik asked.

Charles swallowed, as if he hated to say it. -Three...almost four weeks now." he said, barely audible. They didn't need to say what they meant, they both knew. Erik was surprised by the sheer amount of time he had spent in oblivion, without having proper memories of anything. Without knowing if he was dead or alive.

Charles suddenly blinked hard, as if he was holding back tears again. He tried to look at Erik, but then had to turn his gaze to the far wall. -It was...it was a very close-call." he breathed out. -You...you almost..." but Charles' voice broke and he dropped his gaze into his lap again, fingers tightening around Erik's wrist.

Erik took a long breath.

There was a green plant in front of the window, he suddenly noticed.

Otherwise, the room was big and undisturbed. The air smelled too clean, but still felt too heavy.

It felt like Charles' sorrow was lingering everywhere, barely contained. Like it was eating away all the oxygen.

As if the whole room could sense the broken things inside Charles, the way his aching mind felt raw, torn and bleeding - even through all the careful and strong shields he was trying to block it with.

Erik sighed. There was so much he wanted to say, but talking felt tiring so he had to keep it simple. And Erik felt worried for seeing Charles like this, so obviously hurting and exhausted. -How...how about you?" Erik asked, trying to catch a proper look at him.

Charles looked up, surprised. -Me?" he asked in disbelief. Then he shook his head and let out a huff. But Erik looked at him, worried. -Yes. You." he said, because didn't feel like forming a longer sentence.

Charles looked like it was a ridiculous question, that there was no way Erik could have been worried about _him_ at that moment. But then Charles shrugged. -I'm fine." he said and glanced at Erik - but for a few seconds he hesitated, and Erik instantly knew there was something Charles was leaving out. He startled, and looked at Charles more demandingly, his heart monitor beeping more frequently further away. _What is it?_, Erik sent.

He couldn't stand the mere thought of Charles being hurt.

Charles glanced worriedly at the beeping machines further away, then Erik. -Nothing. Nothing. Calm down. It was just..." his voice faded, and he hesitated again. Then he lowered his voice and sighed. -I just got scratched by a bullet. It barely even did any damage," he started explaining with a casual tone, but Erik shifted instantly forward in a rush of worry, which made all of his bandages and stitches and tubes remind him of themselves and he couldn't help but to wince for the sudden pain.

-Erik!" Charles cried and put his hand on Erik's arm, adding demanding pressure to signal he shouldn't move. -Stay still," Charles hissed, glancing worriedly at him and the bed.

_You were hurt, _Erik's loud thoughts rang through their link. His mind was instantly reminded of Raven and her gun against Charles' head, but Charles hurried to continue: -Barely a scratch, Erik, like I said. I'm fine, I really am." He took a breath, flickering his eyes to Erik and back.

Erik slowly calmed down, and sank back into the bed.

Charles also slumped a little backwards. There was a short silence.

-You took all the bullets after all." Charles whispered, and there was something dark in his tone, almost like a pained accusation.

But Erik felt calm. There was no way in the world he would ever regret it. He blinked slowly. -Would...would do it again." he said.

Charles stared at him for a while, and then slowly turned to look torn. -That's...that's what worries me," he said so quietly that Erik barely caught it. But then Charles quickly shook his head, like trying to wave off his thoughts. -But this is not the time for this. You need to rest."

Erik gave a sluggish huff. -That's all I do," he mumbled. He knew Charles was trying to avoid the previous subject, and Erik wasn't about to let it go. -Where were you hurt?"

-Erik..."

-Charles, tell me."

-It's not impor-..."

-_Charles_," Erik interrupted, giving him a meaninful look and taking a raspy breath. Charles looked like he was about to argue, but then seemed to guess Erik wasn't going to back down. So slowly, he sighed and placed his hand on his side, above his ribs. -Here."

Erik felt angry for knowing that, and he shot a worried glance. Charles just shook his head again. -But it's healing already. I was never in any danger." He paused. Once again, the familiar shadow crossed his face. -Unlike...unlike you."

Erik just ignored the comment and concentrated on Charles' face. Suddenly Erik got lost studying it - now that he had the basic information about what had happened, he felt more peaceful. They fell into silence as Erik observed Charles inch by inch, rush of emotions suddenly surfacing into his chest. He felt so grateful that they were both there. That...that Charles was alive and alright. That was the only thing that mattered. That they had gotten away. Erik felt an incredibly strong rush of affection filling him, and he had to drop his eyes, biting the inside of his lip.

Erik felt the oddest urge to reach out to Charles with his hand, but knew that it probably wasn't a good idea with the wrecked state his body was in. He flickered his eyes back to Charles, trying to suffocate the overwhelming emotions and yearning aching in his chest. But most of all, he felt worried to see how worn-out Charles clearly was.

-You look like hell," Erik said quietly.

Charles huffed and almost looked sheepish, and he dropped his gaze to his lap. Erik felt already tired of talking aloud, so he just used the link. _What was the last time you've gotten a proper rest? _

Charles didn't answer. Erik frowned - Charles was always so careless about himself. So selfless. The answer was obvious, though - Charles hadn't probably left the room unless absolutely necessary. Erik wanted to remind Charles of how carelessly he was acting, how ridiculous this was, but had no energy. And Erik could vividly remember how he had done the same after he had gotten Charles out from the headquarters, how he had spent endless nights in uncomfortable hospital chairs and slept there, waking up with all kinds of aches in the mornings.

Erik let his mind wander.

There was just so much things left unsaid.

Starting from the very moment Erik had carried Charles out of the original Chimera headquarters, to their mind melds, to the point where Erik had sunk his teeth into Reach's neck and crushed his artery to keep Charles alive.

Everything that had happened these past months - every thought, touch, sensation, conclusion - they demanded to be said.

Erik could sense all of those things hanging in the air.

And then suddenly Erik remembered the very last moment back at the docks - of what he had done. And what he had said to Charles - what had been his last words to him. Erik felt suddenly heat creeping into his cheeks, and the vague memory of Charles' lips against his. Erik felt suddenly self-aware - he hadn't remembered that moment until now. Erik probably would have never said any of it without the absolute certainty that those would remain as his last moments. It wasn't like he regretted it - not at all, but...just didn't know what it could mean in the future. He didn't know what things this could change.

But Erik was also certain that Charles would never comment on it before he was feeling better, before he had recovered enough. This would have to wait, no matter how much Erik craved the opposite. So he tried to push the thoughts away and concentrate on the situation at hand.

He took a careful, long breath.

It suddenly struck him how damaged they were by the Chimera. Not just physically, but mentally. There was so many things to resolve, so many things to heal. But that would have to come later. One thing at a time. But right now, Erik wanted to know what had happened after he had...blacked out. What had happened between the docks and the hospital. But Charles seemed to catch his thought, because he looked at Erik and shook his head. -Later," he said quietly, and gave Erik a faint smile. -You need to rest," he added and gave Erik's wrist a gentle squeeze.

Erik would have wanted to argue, would have wanted to ask, but the small amount of time he had been awake had already drained him. So reluctantly, Erik shut his eyes and let himself drift off again.

* * *

Nurses and doctors came and went.

The next few days passed in tired haze, as Eriks' awareness was slowly getting back to normal.

* * *

When he woke up properly next time, Erik almost felt like himself again. Well, mentally at least - his thoughts were sharp and focused again after a very long time, despite he could detect the vague presence of drugs in his system.

The room was dark.

Erik blinked his eyes slowly open, only to realize it was sometime the middle of the night. Blue light filled the hospital room from the windows. It was raining again, and long rivulets of water were pouring down the hospital windows further away.

Erik turned his head - only to spot Charles next to him again, but this time he had placed his elbows on the bed, slumped himself on top of them and buried his face between his arms, messy hair sprawled on top of the white sheets. Erik could instantly tell Charles was asleep, and Erik looked at him with both frustration and warmth. Stubborn Charles - he had refused to leave Erik's side, but the exhaustion had gotten the better of him. There was no way the position could have been comfortable, but Erik didn't want to wake Charles up, if he was finally getting at least some kind of rest.

Erik took a deep breath, and for a moment he just listened to the rain and his heart monitor beeping quietly. He stared at the ceiling for a while.

It was oddly calming, this.

Seconds passed.

Erik had always hated hospitals, but right now it felt like a safe haven. Chimera had been destroyed, and the never-ending danger from the back of his head and instincts was gone. Charles was right there next to him, and they were both mostly in one piece. Or at least, they would be.

That was all Erik needed.

That was enough for him, right now.

He almost couldn't believe that the nightmare was over, that things could get remotely back to normal. Except normal wasn't really normal anymore - that needed to redefined.

Erik glanced once again Charles' sleeping form. Charles had been careful not to place any of his limbs on top of Erik, so he wouldn't cause any pain or damage to his healing body. Erik didn't even know how much physical damage there actually was - he would have to ask soon. But not right now. Not tonight.

The rain sounded calming.

Erik bit his lip and lifted his hand slightly from the bed, slowly because his reactions were still so sluggish - and also so he wouldn't wake Charles up. Erik brushed lightly Charles' armpit, and placed his hand there, mixing into strands of Charles' hair.

The link at the back of his mind hummed in response, magnified by the physical touch. Erik sighed in satisfaction to feel it. It was comforting and intimate as always. and he was so glad it was still intact, still in its place as it should be. Erik could spot some of Charles' drowsy echoes, and Erik briefly wondered what Charles was dreaming of.

Time went by.

Erik felt a rush of protectiveness for Charles. It had almost become like a second nature to him, it seemed.

Erik curled his fingers gently against Charles' arm, and their link sparked just a bit for that. Erik heard how his heart monitor picked up speed. For a moment, he listened to it, an odd feeling at the pit of his stomach, and something almost like shy confusion taking over him. In the end, Erik decided to ignore the whole thing.

Erik stole the moment to himself. The rest of his body might have been immobile and under heavy drugs, but his hands worked mostly fine and he had proper feeling in his fingertips. Charles' skin felt warm, and Erik had the oddest yearning to feel it against his own. He must have gotten just a bit too used to their shared beds and mind melds, he distantly thought to himself.

Charles didn't stir, and through a physical touch, Erik could hear his heartbeat faintly through the link. It was peaceful and slow, as it should be during the sleep. Erik's own was still too fast, but he paid no attention to it. He let himself get lost in the steady _thum thum_ at the back of his head. For a moment, Erik squeezed his eyes shut for just being so _thankful_. He would have gladly died for this, for still having them both in the world. He had no regrets of what he had done. He would throw himself in front of bullets hundred times more if it meant that he would get to hear Charles' heartbeat, feel their link...and feel like this.

Erik didn't have the slightest worry for the outside world.

It was all good, because his world was this small hospital room - he had everything he needed in it.

For a moment, this was everything Erik could have ever asked for, because it had been almost taken away.

Erik refused to picture Reach, to feel remorse or disgust of what he had done to him. Reach had still been Charles, a victim of the Chimera as everyone else, but...Erik had irreversibly been bound to this version of Charles, of _his_ Charles - the right one that he had been there to put back together again after the headquarters. There was no way he could ever break this hold that Charles had on him now. Not even if the link got broken, not _even_ then. Erik had had every chance to turn his back, to leave this behind and go. But he hadn't. Not at any point. He had stayed. It had been his choice, just like Charles had always wanted it to be. And Erik realized in a quiet moment that if someone ever tried to force him to stay, to care, to become involved - he wouldn't. But...Charles had never asked him to be there, to stay or do anything. But Erik had stayed.

He had no desire to leave.

Because the calmness that set into his chest felt too good to be wrong.

Erik brushed Charles' skin gently, absent-mindedly. But even then, the contact seemed to burn his fingertips a little, pulsing in his nerve endings.

Erik's attention was suddenly drawn to the pillars of light from the corridor that were reflected on the floor - now moving. Erik froze and glanced at the doorway. Before his senses had time to heighten or become alarmed, he already recognized the figure behind the door. Erik just stared for a moment in surprise, then sighed and rolled his eyes. He relaxed back to the bed.

Erik just nudged his head backwards as a gesture. With a slight breeze of air, Leap puffed into the room. He was about to burst into a loud greeting, but Erik gave him a meaningful, silencing look and gestured at Charles. Leap caught up and grimaced with a smile, throwing one arm to the air as a conforming gesture - his other arm was wrapped in an arm sling.

Erik gave the teleporter quick look from head to toe - he was dressed in a hospital gown, and clearly had a lot of healing stitches and bandages around his middle, but mostly he seemed fine.

-Hey Magneto, man!" Leap whispered quietly but over-exitedly. He looked at Erik with such an enthusiasm.

The young teleporter almost started a new sentence, but then he spotted Charles and looked confused. -Why is the angry cripple guy sleeping there? Isn't that kind of uncomfortable?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Erik froze for a moment for the choice Leap's words, only to remember that when Leap had met Charles for the first time, Charles hadn't exactly been at his best. It had been briefly after Charles had learnt of Hanks' death.

Erik opened his mouth, but Leap didn't seem to expect an answer, he just stepped closer and glanced at the monitors and machines surrounding Erik's bed. -Wow you got yourself pretty messed up. I mean, four bullets - that's so crazy!"

Erik lifted an eyebrow. -Four?" He could only recall three hitting him.

Leap nodded. -Yeah, yeah. Two to your leg, one into your back and then one into your shoulder. Not many people can live to tell the story!"

Erik glanced at Charles, checking if the sudden quiet talking had woken him up, but Charles didn't seem to stir at all. He was probably too tired to. So Erik turned back to Leap, thinking about what the teleporter had said. He lifted an eyebrow. -How...how do you know about the bullets?" Erik asked suspiciously.

Leap shrugged with his healthy shoulder. -Well who wouldn't? You've been the front side story for a month now."

Erik's eyes widened a little. -What?" he hissed, almost forgetting to be quiet.

Leap looked confused. He looked at Erik, then Charles. -He didn't tell you then?" he asked, pointing at Charles. Erik didn't answer, just looked at Leap expectantly. Leap seemed to get excited for the fact that he got to explain it. He took a deep breath.

-They made you into this tragic hero, Magneto. I mean the press and the humans found out about the Chimera - big time - and that's all they've been talking about for like a month now. People have lit up candles for the lost mutants, given protests against mutant discrimination, claimed that the remaining Chimera people should face proper justice...You should see the newspapers. They're awesome! And they made you into a symbol of the whole thing! How cool is that, man?"

Erik blinked, surprised. -What do you mean?"

Leap chuckled. -Well everyone knows the River Savior story. Like come on, the police force fired on you - so on innocent mutants, right? I mean yeah, the police didn't know that then but still. Anyway, when the media found out about this whole Chimera thing, they wanted a scandal made ouf it - to you know, sell papers - and they wrote a story about you. I mean a Holocaust survivor who dives after his crippled friend that has been pushed into the river by a police guy? That's as heartbreaking as it can get! So soon this stuff just appeared on every cover. It was like a love story, you know - people felt bad for you and it kinda fueled the whole anti-Chimera movement."

Erik could only stare back in astonishment. He tried to think it through - it seemed almost too good to be true that the humans were actually on _their_ side about this. Erik guessed that most of the things that Chimera had done had been kept a secret, and wouldn't see daylight anytime soon or probably ever. But what had happened on the _outside_ of the building must have been pretty hard to miss, even for the humans, since there had been so many journalists and other people present there, and lots of police officers, gunshots and bodies.

Erik was quiet for a while, thinking it through.

The Chimera truly hadn't gone down quietly, it seemed.

Leap shifted his weight. -You know, there were like a lot of people that died and stuff. I mean outside the Chimera prison...thing. They humans have held memorials and all that kind of traditional fancy events," Leap added.

Erik swallowed. He felt a bit torn about the whole thing - partly grateful for the sudden empathy shown towards the mutants, partly angry for knowing that without the human casualties, the Chimera wouldn't likely be such big news. But with countless mutants tortured to death and the violent fall of the whole organization and the deaths that had followed...the whole mutant issue had seemed to become a big political and media debate according to Leap. Erik glanced at Charles - Charles would probably say that despite the tragedic aspects of this, it was all swaying the public opinion even more to aid the mutant cause. Because Charles had already once said that the public opinion was everything.

Erik suddenly realized that something good could have gone out from this whole Chimera nightmare, in the end.

But then he froze for a moment when his mind caught up with all the details. Erik turned back to Leap. -Do they know that...that the River Savior - or whatever ridiculous thing they call me - and Magneto are the same person? That they're both me?"

Leap looked puzzled for a moment. -Nah. I don't think so. They just thought you were a random mutant guy who saved a cripple from the river. But still, I think you will go down history. I mean you pulled a paralyzed guy from the river and then also took four bullets for him. That's a tear-jerker story at its best!"

Erik turned to stare at the far wall, thoughts swirling. He wasn't sure how he felt about this, about being made into a hero of a kind. He had usually been the opposite - the exact opposite. And it wasn't like Erik felt exactly heroic about what he had done - it hadn't even been a conscious choice, because there had been nothing to decide. There was no way Erik would have _not_ jumped into that river after Charles. Or gotten in front of the bullets. But then again, if this aided the mutant cause, Erik thought he was alright with it. And it wasn't like he could do anything about it, either.

There was a small silence, before Leap talked again.

-By the way, I'm totally okay with the way your crippled frie-..."

-His name is Charles," Erik interrupted with small irritation, and gave a meaningful look. Erik felt a slight stirring from the link as he had called Charles' name - as if Charles' sleeping mind recognized his name being called - but then the small awareness disappeared again.

Leap lifted his arm in the air defensively. -Okay yeah, whatever. But...I just wanted to let you know that I'm totally cool with your...friend...for, uh, using my powers with that mojo of his and got us all into the hospital from that big ass mansion. I mean, my heart stopped and all that shit but still - I'm alive. And I have the coolest scar! You know - how many people have been stabbed and all? Chicks dig that kind of stuff!"

Erik almost wanted to groan aloud, because Leap was just so ridiculously young and innocent, still, despite what he had experienced.

The young teleporter threw a wary glance at Charles. -He's kind of scary, you know. He can do so much creepy stuff. I mean the thing he pulled with you and the coma..."

Erik's face fell and his eyes sharpened. -What coma? What are you talking about?" he instantly asked, tone demanding.

Leap looked baffled. -Oh, he didn't tell you?" he asked in surprise. Then he frowned. -That guy just doesn't tell you anything!" he joked and grinned, but Erik threw him such a warning look that he quieted and got serious again.

Leap shifted his weight again and searched for words. He looked at Charles with something like respect. -Yeah, you know..." he started. -When they brought you into the hospital...you had lost too much blood, Magneto. You looked horrible - sorry man, but you really did, I saw you - and they were almost giving up on you, you know, stopping to operate. I actually think that they _did_, but I think that your friend there did that mind magic and the doctors kept going nonetheless. You still kept...dying, you know...And then your friend kind of crashed too, and you were both in a coma or some shit for like three days. Then he woke up, and after some time they got some brain activity into you too. And then you started to recover."

Erik was almost speechless, and took such a sharp breath that the wound on his shoulder protested with an angry sting, despite the painkillers.

Charles had...Charles had refused to let him go? Had made the doctors continue even if he was supposed to be a lost cause? The thought seemed to bring some very vague memories into his head - about darkness and voices and being reached towards - and a constant, faint light. But there was nothing coherent. Erik just slowly realized that Charles had probably forced the link not to break - as dangerous as it sounded.

Erik's brain tried to process the new information for awhile.

Having Charles to go that far for him...was truly something. It shocked Erik that Charles had willingly controlled people's minds for him. Even if it had been a life and death situation - still. Charles must had been truly desperate to intervene.

But Erik could barely believe or accept the mere idea that Charles had hold on to their link so madly that he had gone under with Erik - into a _coma_ - to keep Erik alive and pull him back into his body. Erik didn't even know what to think about that. That Charles would...would risk his life so carelessly just to keep him alive. That Charles had risked both of them both ending up braindead, or worse - rather than just letting Erik die.

Erik gritted his teeth and glanced at Charles - that stubborn idiot. That hard-headed, selfless _idiot_.

But even if Erik thought it, he realized that Charles must have thought the same of him back in the docks. That Erik had been reckless and mad for shielding him from the bullets with his own body. The realization and parallels made Erik freeze, and stare at Charles' sleeping form with such strong affection that it felt like it could burst out of his chest, despite the irritation mixed into it.

They were really doomed when it came to each other, it seemed.

Erik spent some time there, just filled with the astonishment.

Leap cleared his voice. Erik startled a little, and turned to look at Leap like he only then remembered he was still in the room. Leap let out a low whistle and looked awkward. -Yeah, don't let me be a third wheel, man, but..."

Erik swallowed, almost feeling embarrassed, but hardened his face again. -Have you heard about the other members of the Brotherhood?" he asked more efficiently.

Leap pushed his healthy hand into his pocket. -I heard Emma escaped. But I don't know where. Don't know about others either."

Erik nodded slightly, spending a moment thinking about it. He felt oddly reluctant to gather his team back together again, but he knew that the existing branches of the Chimera had to be taken out. He gave Leap a critical gaze. -As soon as you're well enough, and if you still wish to be part of the Brotherhood, I want you to go and search out for the other members, Leap. Find them and gather them together. I want you to go after the Chimera people that are still out there, and take them down."

Leap's eyes widened a little, and he looked suddenly uncomfortable. -You mean like...kill them?"

Erik opened his mouth to answer, but then he hesitated. He glanced at Charles, suddenly knowing that Charles would never approve of this. That he would claim that killing and violence wasn't the right way to solve things, that it was wrong. Erik almost turned to say yes anyway, just out of old habit and his still strong hatred towards the Chimera, but at the last moment, Erik stopped himself. Instead, he let out a small sigh. -No, Leap. Kill them only if there's no choice. Because if its' true what you said, you can just turn those traitors in to the police and they will be taken care of that way. Media frenzy, public humiliation and a prison sentence should serve them right."

Leap looked relieved. -Yeah, man! Serves them right!" he rejoiced, bumping his fist into the air.

Erik let out a wry smile, shaking his head a little both to the young teleporter and both to himself. Charles had just changed his mind without saying a word, without actually even taking part into the conversation. It was truly remarkable. Almost...scary. But Erik finally realized that Charles was right - public opinion _did_ matter. If it could truly be used so strongly to aid their cause, then surely it should be considered with more care in the future, too. And it certainly made no sense to have the Brotherhood in the headlines for murder. If the still-existing Chimera people would cause any harm ever again, just as much as breathe the wrong way, then Erik or Brotherhood would surely take them out with no regrets - that was for sure. But Erik could agree that despite any differences in ideologies, all of them wanted the mutants to be shown in a good light. This current pro-mutant situation might not last forever, but right now it sounded better than it had ever been before.

Maybe there was hope for them, after all.

Maybe there was at least some sense in Charles' way of thinking - Erik could admit that, even if he still couldn't nearly agree with him about everything.

-I will go and find our team members as soon as I get rid of this arm sling," Leap promised. -I've been stuck here for too long already anyway. I think I'll start with searching Emma," he said and blushed a little. Erik just stared at him, unimpressed - of course Leap would go to Frost at first.

Leap noticed his gaze and flashed a shy smile. -There's just something about telepaths, you know..." he said and winked his eye to Erik, chuckling.

Erik glared him across the room, silencing him and fortunately made Leap's grin fall a little. -Just report back to me about the progress you've made," Erik said.

Leap got more serious and scratched his head. -Like...in here? Are you gonna stay here for all this time?"

Erik hesitated. He glanced once again at Charles, then Leap. Then he let out a knowing sigh. -No, I don't think so. As soon as I can, I will leave the hospital. Remember that big mansion you brought us in and out?"

Leap nodded.

-That's where you'll find me." Erik said with certainty, almost feeling ridiculous how certain he was about this. After all, he needed time to recover from his injuries - it would take a long, long time, probably several months. The mansion was a natural choice. Erik didn't even consider being anywhere else than with Charles.

-Okay, Magneto. That's a deal!" Leap said quietly. He hovered there for a while, glancing at the door than Erik. -I think I'll just..." he said, gesturing vaguely.

Erik just nodded, and before he barely had finished the movement, Leap was gone in a puff. Only a small breeze of air was left, and it moved some strands of Charles' hair and tickled Erik's hand.

Erik stared at the spot Leap had just stood in.

The rain was still tapping to the window.

Erik leant back to the pillow, staring at the ceiling, but not pulling his arm away from Charles. He promised himself that he would make Charles leave and get some proper rest soon. Tomorrow. Then they could start recovering - both of them. Properly. Maybe they would never recover fully, because the Chimera would surely leave their marks on them both for good - but...they would manage. There was still so many things to look forward to now. So many things to say - even if those things would have to wait until they were both better and properly alone.

Erik's heart monitor beeped in the silence.

Charles shifted his head a little in his sleep, turning his head so his warm breaths hit Erik's palm.

Suddenly Erik could recall in perfect clarity how it had felt to have those breaths sighed into his own mouth, and he shivered a little.

His heart monitor took pace again, and Erik bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut.

The rain continued long after he slowly started to drifted off.

That night, Erik slept peacefully for the first time in a very, very long time.


	30. Chapter 30

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Here we are - at the epilogue of this story. Sorry for the long author's note, but I felt like there are some things that needed to be said.

So, after almost three months and precisely 30 chapters, we have reached the end of this story. As sad as it is to wrap up a story that I've enjoyed so much writing, I will also miss you guys after this. I started typing this down in a whim and your reviews and comments made me continue, to take the time and countless hours to write this whole thing down and publish it - and most importantly, finish it. I can't thank you enough for your support and heart-warming comments. They mean the world to me. You made me feel like I should keep writing, that I might actually be half-decent in it.

Quick note - apologies for any typos or possible grammar/tense errors there might be. I'm not a native English speaker, sorry.

But I truly hope that you like this last chapter and epilogue of Dark flowers. There was so many things I wanted to include, and for me, this always felt like one of the most important chapters in the whole story. Lastly, I truly truly hope you have all enjoyed this story and that now that we have reached the end, the epilogue won't disappoint.

Now, here is the final piece of Dark flowers. Please drop me a review one last time and tell me what you think.

**END OF AUTHOR'S NOTE**

* * *

Two months after the Chimera had fallen, Erik finally got to leave the hospital.

Charles refused to persuade the doctors with telepathy and make them release Erik earlier - no matter how many times Erik suggested it half-seriously. It of course didn't surprise Erik at all that Charles didn't agree on it - Charles had been overly worried about him even when all of his critical injuries had healed. And not to mention that Charles was as stubborn as always when it came to using his powers on people. Erik just accepted this with fond irritation.

But Erik just hated hospitals so much, and felt restless just to sit around and do nothing all day.

Erik was also worried about Charles - hospitals weren't exactly the best place for a telepath. So much death, pain and suffering inside one building made Charles constantly tired and also melancholic at times.

So when they finally got to leave, Erik just sighed in deep satisfaction.

He couldn't wait to get out and go the silence and privacy of the Xavier mansion.

It had been too long since they had been alone.

They had never mentioned or brought up the unsaid things between them - Charles refused to talk about that before Erik was well enough. And as much as Erik waited for that moment, he also felt increasingly nervous about it. There was something critically changed between him and Charles now - he would have had to be deaf and blind not to notice it. Their silences were oddly comfortable now, the tension between them profoundly different than before the Chimera. The looks that they shared were longer, and more gentler. Their touches lingered just a bit longer than before, and there was something in the way Charles smiled at Erik that made Erik drop his eyes away almost every time.

Erik was still recovering, though - his shoulder and back were still stiff around the muscles the bullets had damaged, but the doctors had predicted that they should heal properly with some time. The only thing causing Erik some true irritation and trouble was his left leg - there had been two bullets in it, one in his thigh and one between his knee and ankle. The bullet that had pierced his thigh had been the one that almost killed him - it had slashed an artery open. But Erik considered it all a small price for the fact that they had both survived.

But even then, his left leg was barely functioning and recovering in incredibly slow pace. As much as Erik hated it, he had to walk with an armpit cane under his left arm. After just a few hours of using it, Erik already hated the thing with passion.

But after eight weeks and four days after the Chimera had fallen, the doctors finally signed the papers to let Erik leave.

* * *

The moment they arrived to the edge of the mansion, Erik glared at his cane ominously. They had to cross the yard to make it to the door. So slowly, he and Charles both started to make their way inside, small bits of gravel crunching under the wheels of Charles' chair and his own cane. Erik was having trouble with his balance and speed, and he probably looked like an idiot, trying to keep up with Charles' already slowed down pace.

Erik just shook his head.

-Aren't we a pair," he muttered.

Charles turned to look at him and let out an amused huff as they kept going. His eyes sparkled brightly - he looked so much healthier and better now that the shadow of the Chimera had passed, and they had both more or less gotten proper rest.

Erik stared at the door in the distance, almost glaring holes into it.

-I could just float us in there," he mumbled with frustration.

-They said you should give your leg some exercise. Otherwise it might not restore the flexibility, remember?" Charles reminded him, unaffected by Erik's irritation. Erik frowned. He almost felt bad for complaining about his leg because he was very much aware of Charles' wheelchair, but couldn't help it.

And Charles didn't seem to be the least bothered by it. He just flashed a small smile. -But by all means, Erik, if you truly want to wheel around with me in the mansion for the rest of your life..."

-Hilarious, Charles," Erik shot back.

Charles let out an amused huff and shrugged. -That would be a way to pass the time."

Erik lifted an eyebrow, his lips tugging into a wry smile. -Are you already bored with me?"

Charles turned to look at Erik, surprised, until he realized under all that crumpiness, Erik was actually_ teasing_ him. There was a moment where Charles just stared and scanned Erik's face, as if he had already forgotten that Erik did, after all, had a sense of humor, because these light moments had been too rare before. They hadn't been this easy around each other in years, and it still astonished Erik how radical the change was - but also that it now felt natural. Charles' face was slowly filled with warm amusement and he flashed Erik a smile that made Erik's breath hitch for a second.

-I never said that," Charles said as they started to reach the door. Erik winced as he started to climb the few stairs, since his leg protested with every movement. Charles went around from the small ramp. Even with the chair, Charles was faster than Erik to reach the door.

-Damn this all to hell," Erik muttered and felt ridiculously slow and clumsy.

But he could only sense Charles' amusement through the link. _We could also play tag._ _How does that sound?_

Erik gave him a glare, because Charles looked almost smug as he sat there, arms crossed and waiting him to walk the remaining few metres to the door. Charles was enjoying it far too much, Erik thought to himself. Then again, he might have deserved this, so it wasn't like he could actually call Charles out on it.

Charles smiled again, and Erik almost stopped to stare, because Charles hadn't smiled this much in a long, long time. Erik had feared that coming back to the mansion could bring Charles into a sour mood, since Hank's absence still hung all over the building like a sad cloud. But for now, all of Charles' attention seemed to be at Erik.

Charles glanced at the door. He gestured at the lock. -Would you mind to..."

Erik didn't even bother to look at the lock when he turned the metal inside it with a simple flicker of his power, and the door fell slightly open. Then Erik sighed and looked at Charles.

-After you," he said and gestured at the doorway, grim irritation on his face - even if it didn't quite reach his actual mood.

Charles' quiet telepathic laughter echoed through their link as he went in. Erik lips tugged into a reluctant smile before he followed.

* * *

When the first night started to close in, Erik had used his powers and cleaned some of the wreckage that the Chimera and his own violent burst of power had caused in the mansion the last time they had been there. Erik mainly just put things back to their places and ensured that all the core metallic structres in the building were not critically damaged and that they would hold.

It felt so good to have the silence and privacy of the mansion around them. To escape from the endless row of doctors and nurses, blood samples and physiotherapy, bright lights and dull rooms.

Erik stopped just to listen to the silence at times. Even Charles' distant telepathy and the noise from it through the link was so much quieter in here, since the nearest people were quite far away. Erik had fortunately gotten so used to Charles' telepathy rattling at the back of his awareness that he usually learnt to filter and ignore it.

The mansion almost felt like a home, oddly enough.

Erik enjoyed the quietness and coziness of it.

But when the sunlight decreased outside and they were both getting tired, it was obvious they should find a place to sleep. Erik hesitated, because there were more bedrooms and places to sleep in this mansion than he could probably count, but yet he had no urge to go and find himself one. Instead, he hovered close to Charles.

In the end, Charles went to the small room he had used before the Chimera's attack - the one room they had had their first meld in. Erik followed him there and watched as Charles arranged himself to bed easily. Erik told himself that he needed to be here for the extra walk for his leg, and that he needed to see that Charles got into bed alright - but Charles was way too fluid with the chair to ever truly need Erik's help. And Erik's leg was already sore and tired from all the walking before.

In the end, Erik just sat on the edge of the bed, sending an unverbalized comment of resting himself there for a moment to Charles.

Charles just started pulling the duvet on top of his legs and sank against the pillow. Erik couldn't see his face from this angle, and he hesitated whether this was his cue to leave. Charles stayed unmoving, but the nightstand lamp was still on.

Erik glanced at the door, then at Charles. The small box of Erik's own ancient practising metal chunks were still on the nightstand table - right where he had put them on the night Charles had given them back to him.

It felt almost felt personal, this room. Erik couldn't explain it. He had never had a feeling like that before; sense of familiary, of belonging.

Of almost having a home.

_Please put the light out, Erik_, Charles asked quietly through the link. He already sounded drowsy.

Erik wondered if Charles was asking him to leave or stay, and he had no idea which seemed most likely. After a moment, Erik decided to test it, and shifted a little on the bed. Charles instantly moved a little closer to the edge of his own side, leaving more space to the other side of the bed. Erik guessed he had gotten his answer.

Then he set the cane aside, yanked the metal switch on the lamp absently and found his way to the other side of the bed in the dark evening light.

It felt oddly familiar to find himself there, lying next to Charles, even if it had been months since they had shared a bed.

But also, Erik felt so disturbingly relieved and _right_, that he didn't know what to make of it. He didn't feel out of place at all.

Charles' end of the link started to feel muddled, and Erik could tell he was already starting to fall asleep. Erik pulled a duvet on top of himself, his eyes never leaving Charles.

-_Gute nacht,_" he mumbled quietly, but unsurprisingly got no answer.

Erik shifted his aching, injured leg on the bed, but somehow didn't register the pain as well as before.

He listened to the link for a while, quiet echoes starting to rise from Charles' dreams, but too vague for Erik to properly catch.

Erik sank his head into the pillow, listening to Charles breathing for some time. It was peaceful and relaxed.

Erik closed his eyes.

They were alright.

They were both here.

Their heartbeats mixed into each other through the link.

And it was all Erik needed to lull him into sleep.

* * *

The first days passed in comfortable simplicity.

Erik spent a lot of time walking around and flexing his leg, trying to give it exercise.

Charles sometimes disappeared into Hank's study and spent hours there. During those times, Erik could feel sorrow bleeding through their link from Charles, but it wasn't raw, destructive and breath-taking as it had been before. Now there was a mournful acceptance in it, despite how painful it still was.

Erik pretended not to notice the occasional tear-tracks on Charles' face though, or the way he was awfully quiet after the time spent in solitude.

Once Erik passed Hank's old study and glanced inside. Charles was in there, moving Hank's work neatly to organized piles, sometimes freezing and stopping to look at something in there. Sometimes caressing Hanks' messy handwriting on the papers, his hands shaking just a little.

The sadness Erik could sense all the way into his own mind was poignant.

But Erik knew that this wasn't his grief to participate in, that it didn't belong to him.

So Erik gave Charles the privacy to sort the things out and deal with his too long neglected mourning progress. If cleaning things up helped Charles, then Erik would gladly grant it for him.

He would give Charles silence and space if that was what he needed.

The oddest part was Erik just knew this, that Charles never even had to ask.

And they both also had time to think.

* * *

Sometimes either of them woke up screaming in the middle of a night, experiencing horrible nightmares.

Charles often dreamt of the labs, of killing innocent mutants.

Or Hank. Hank getting tortured and killed while Charles was forced to stay inside his head.

Erik's nightmares had only two scenarios in them. First one was Charles getting shot. Second one was Reach.

The image of Reach haunted Erik more than Shaw ever had. Erik relived the moment of ripping Reach's throat out, time and time again, sometimes his mind twisting the image so it was Charles he was killing instead of Reach. And sometimes Erik dreamt that all this - the fall of the Chimera, Charles sleeping beside him, them surviving, all of it - it was all Reach's illusion to tame him, that in reality he had never gotten away from that horrible Chimera prison and his own Charles was killed long time ago. Those were the sickest nightmares, because Erik could see Reach grin with Charles' face so vividly in his dreams, and it made it more terrifying.

Erik woke up screaming more than once, wrecking some pieces of metal in the nearby corridors.

They never talked about their nightmares.

They just woke the other up, and waited until their breathing got back to normal. Sometimes Erik pulled Charles close and listened him to breathe, if he had had a particularly strong nightmare about him dying. Charles stayed there as long as Erik held him, sometimes even fell asleep into Erik's arms.

But they never said a word.

They both just knew.

The link carried enough details and agony through anyway.

Sharing a bed made it easier, the physical closeness comforting.

That was another thing none of them ever mentioned anymore - they never talked about Erik sleeping anywhere else. Soon it became so natural that they didn't even think twice about it.

* * *

Mutants had never been this empathized before in their whole existence.

The lawsuits against the inner circle of the humans behind Chimera were widely public, and almost the whole world followed the screaming headlines of their court cases and the scandalous, tragic backstories that the media wrote about mutant sufferings.

People held protests to give support for the Chimera survivors, and there were loud claims to find and destroy any existing violent organizations like this.

A lot of attention was also given to the journalists and humans that had died outside the Chimera prison, but the River Savior story and few other symbolic stories became the most popular ones.

Naturally, there were anti-mutant and pro-Chimera protests too, but they were mostly drowned under the sympathy-seeking headlines and news.

Erik followed the media frenzy only partly - he didn't have the energy for it right now. Knowing that Reach was dead gave him more assurance than anything else ever could have.

But he felt an odd, weak hope fluttering in his chest as he witnessed the humans passionately defending the mutants in the tv broadcasts - mutants they didn't even know or had ever met before. Mutants that so many of the humans had previously hated or whose oppression they had turned a blind eye on.

Erik was astonished.

He had lost this kind of hope and belief in the humans long ago.

Erik knew that it might not last forever, that all this would probably neutralize as soon as the dust would start to fall, but still.

Mutants had never been this hotly debated before - and the public opinion had never been this much at their side.

Erik could appreciate that, no matter how many mixed feelings he had about this.

* * *

One time Erik stirred from his sleep in the middle of the night, only to blink his eyes blurrily open and notice Charles watching him tiredly. His hair was a puffy mess, and he had pulled the blanket all the way up to his shoulders. It was like he had just woken up too a moment ago.

_...what?_, Erik sent tiredly, because his voice was too croaked to use.

Charles gave him a light smile. _You...you were dreaming about me._

Erik blinked again, this time more alerted. He could only stare, grateful that he was too fuzzy from sleep to be able to feel or look flushed. He couldn't remember his dreams - they were already too vague, slipping away. He just swallowed, trying to guess what they had been about. Erik was glad that the faint night light came from behind him, and shadowed his face.

Charles huffed quietly. _I'm sorry. I always try to block you, but...Your dreams are loud. So loud that they woke me up._

Erik swallowed, at loss what he should stay. _Wasn't...Wasn't my intention,_ he mumbled through the link.

Charles buried his face deeper into the pillow. _I know._

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, obviously going back to sleep. _It's alright, Erik._ _You dream about me often._

Erik froze in his place, and just stared at Charles and the way he was just lying there peacefully - how casually he had just told Erik that. Erik briefly wondered how well and clearly Charles could see his dreams, and felt suddenly nervous. After all, he couldn't _control_ his dreams; he had no idea what happened in them. And of course Charles was trying to probably to stay out of them, to leave them at their privacy, but Charles' shields and control were always naturally lowered when he was sleeping.

Erik decided that he shouldn't spend too much time thinking about this.

He threw one last glance at Charles before he closed his own eyes, and went back to sleep.

* * *

Raven visited once.

It was a month after they had returned to the mansion. It was in the middle of a chess game when Charles suddenly froze and looked up to Erik, his face turning serious.

-Raven will be soon here, Erik. She has just found out that...that I'm not dead. That she didn't kill me. She is...she wishes to see it for herself."

Erik nodded. He still felt old sting of anger towards her, despite how brainwashed she had been when she had pulled that trigger, or that it hadn't even been real. Erik had no desire to see her or talk to her, so he got stiffly up, and looked at Charles.

He knew that Charles had thought about her often, feeling guilty about letting her live under the false assumption that he was dead. Charles had clearly been worried about Raven for a long time now, just hadn't said anything aloud. Erik started to leave from the room.

He didn't need to explain anything to Charles. Charles guessed how Erik felt about this, so he gave Erik a weak, thankful smile before Erik disappeared upstairs - despite how haunted Charles looked when Erik threw one last glance at him.

Erik stayed away as Charles wheeled himself into the living room.

Erik tried to ignore the way he could hear Raven's relieved cry of joy, how she broke out to tears and hugged Charles so hard that she almost crushed him. Erik swallowed his anger and - confusingly enough, some jealousy - as Charles' end of the link sparked with relief and affection for her, no matter how much hurt and frustration was mixed into it.

Raven, unsurprisingly, didn't want to stay any longer than it was necessary. She was just about to leave when Erik walked down the stairs with his cane - the same stairs she had attacked him on all those months before, where she had left Erik and gone after Charles. Erik stopped there, not coming all the way down. Raven threw a glance at him across the empty space. There was a flash of accusation in her golden eyes - accusation that he hadn't let her know that Charles had been alive all along. But Erik felt only satisfaction that she had suffered, that she had paid for her mistake with horrible guilt gnawing her insides for months. Erik knew Charles would never approve of this dark satisfaction he felt watching the shadow of guilt on her face, but Erik couldn't bring himself to care.

All the warmth he might have felt for her once was gone now.

Raven finally looked away, embracing Charles one more time before turning towards the door. Erik could sense a spark of hurt from Charles because she was leaving again - abandoning him again. Heavy, unsaid things and frustration between Raven and Charles hung in the air - even if she had clearly been shaken to the core by the possibility of losing him; even so, nothing between them had really been fixed. Erik gritted his teeth - Raven's visit here had been selfish. She had only wanted to get rid of her own guilt. She had no intention to stay.

There was something seriously reflective in that moment, but Erik thought it was wise not to ponder over it or open this can of worms.

Before Raven let the door fall closed, she threw a sudden curious look between Erik and Charles, like wondering what Erik was doing here in the first place.

Erik felt disturbingly triumphant that she didn't know, and that she had no part in this. She couldn't possibly imagine how much had changed between him and Charles these past months. And quite frankly, Erik didn't want her to. This didn't belong to her.

She left quietly, without looking back.

Charles didn't say a word that day, radiating dull sorrow.

Erik knew better not to interfere.

Fortunately, the shadow of her visit passed soon enough.

* * *

It had been six weeks now.

Six weeks after they had arrived in the mansion, and Erik didn't mostly need the cane anymore. He was walking around, even if he was limping heavily and his leg was awfully stiff all the time. But it was healing. So was the rest of his injuries.

Both the physical and emotional exhaustion started to slowly dissolve as time had passed, and they both had had time to adjust. Charles had finally had proper time to mourn Hank, and Erik had had proper time to think back to all that had happened. They had both had time to draw conclusions and gather their thoughts.

And as the time went on, the unsaid things became heavier and more demanding in the air between them - even if the atmosphere never turned sour or haunted like it had been before the Chimera. There was tension lingering between them, but it was different. Not even slightly uncomfortable, but strong.

And Erik could very well remember what he had said and done in those radical seconds back at the docks. He wanted to ask, wanted to finally address the important things, but didn't know how.

* * *

They played a lot of chess.

But Erik spent much more time staring at Charles than the board, so he ended up losing a lot of the games. He could have blamed it on playing chess with a telepath, but Charles was far too polite to cheat. And Erik knew that.

_I'm afraid it's a checkmate, Erik,_ Charles finally said and leant back, placing his elbow on the chair handle and leaning his chin on his arm. His knuckles almost hid his smile.

And as Erik looked down at the board and saw that his king had in fact been checkmated, he felt an oddly striking similarity with it - Charles' chess pieces were surrounding the king everywhere.

Erik's eyes flickered at Charles - Charles' eyes were sparkling way too much for his hand to cover the triumph he obviously felt.

For a moment, Erik held his gaze, the fireplace rattling quietly further away in the room.

Then Erik sighed and bit his lip. He slowly lifted his hand delicately over his king, and knocked the piece over as the classic sign of defeat.

As the piece slightly rolled on its place before becoming still, Erik let himself slump deeper back into his own chair.

The way Charles' face lit up with a bright smile made Erik swallow and shake his head.

Truly - he had lost this game once and for all.

* * *

It was one of the nights they had gotten into bed early.

It was already dark inside, and it was late, but Erik wasn't feeling tired, and Charles didn't seem to be either.

They were just lying there in comfortable silence, and Erik's fingers were lightly touching Charles' arm on top of the bed. The bed was soft and comfortable - it was as if it had alreary learnt the way their bodies belonged there, the exact amount of pressure there was against the sheets.

It was odd, really - Erik had always been restless and impatient person, and even with the Brotherhood, he had hated just lying around and doing nothing. But the months spent under Chimera's shadow had exhausted him down to the core, and now he found he absorbed every peaceful and easy second he had in the mansion. He didn't have the constant urge to move, to do something like he used to. It was just..._good_, this. He fit too well into this bed, he felt way too peaceful to crave anywhere else.

As long as Charles was there, Erik was fine.

His anger and every other negative emotions had faded into a meaningless heap into the background - it was truly ground-breaking. Erik felt right just to...stay. Be. Breathe.

The only sound in the room was the distant wind outside.

But maybe it was all that easy time that made Erik suddenly feel the pressure of all the things he wanted to say, gathering in his chest like restless flutters. He was now so vividly aware of the time that had passed, the time that they had waited until they were both recovered enough, rested enough - and before they were alone. That even if they had been so easy and natural around each other, they had never once addressed the most important things. They had never talked about what had happened during the past few months. Not what had happened on the docks. Or the hospital.

And right now, Erik felt like he couldn't wait any longer. Everything that had been building up in him for so long demanded him to say something.

Erik turned to look at Charles in the dim light. He felt suddenly his throat tighten, and then it was just too much. Erik couldn't stay quiet anymore, no matter how lost he was what to say. Memories suddenly hit him - the most serious and disturbing one first, his troubled thoughts from the hospital and everything Leap had said.

-You never told me about the coma," Erik suddenly burst out.

Charles' flickered his eyes open in surprise, and he turned his head to Erik's direction. Erik felt a sting in his heart all of a sudden, the buried old worry suddenly surfacing. All of a sudden his peaceful state vanished and suffocated things made their way into his chest. Charles was staring at him with wide eyes.

-How did you..."

-You fell into coma right after they took us in the hospital," Erik hissed, insides twisting uncomfortably. -I was...I was never supposed to survive, I know that. There was no way it should had been possible. I was as good as dead - they stopped operating on me. They _declared_ me dead."

Something like restlessness crossed Charles' face, and he turned towards Erik properly, sheets rustling. He sighed. -Erik..."

But Erik just stared back, worried irritation bubbling under his skin. -You used the link, didn't you? You didn't let me go. You didn't allow me to die."

The way Charles quickly dropped his eyes gave Erik all the confirmation he needed. Erik squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, drawing air through his nostrils. -You used your powers to make the doctors continue, to keep operating on me. Isn't that right, Charles?"

-Erik, it wasn't..."

Erik shook his head almost angrily. -But they couldn't save me. Not really. So you held on the link, even if I was dying, and the link pulled you under - into a damn _coma._ Because instead of breaking the link, or letting it break with me dying, you held on. Isn't that right, Charles? _Isn't _it?" Erik asked demandingly. But even so, his anger was already turning into a startled agony and vulnerability. -You gambled with your own life! You could have died!"

-You _did_ die!" Charles breathed out brokenly. -Or would have, if...What was I supposed to do? Sit there and watch? Let it happen? Don't you dare to blame me for this, Erik. You were the one that got in front of us those bullets. You were the one to let me just lie there on the docks and feel you bleeding out on me."

Charles' eyes were suddenly glistening, and it seemed like a dam was breaking between them - unsaid things, unvoiced emotions, all of it. Rising from the dark corner they had been shoved before. This was it - this was finally it. Erik wasn't about to back down. They needed to have this talk.

-Do you really think I could have just let you go?" Charles breathed out with such a shaky voice that it made a rush of empathy awaken in Erik's chest. Charles blinked hard, biting his lip. -After...after everything?"

Erik swallowed, and was about to open his mouth, but Charles interrupted him. -Because you are wrong if you do. What...what do you want me to say? Yes, I _did_ hold onto the link. Yes, it did pull me into a coma." Charles gave him a meaningful look. -And yes, Erik, we both survived."

There was a pause, because Erik felt his own eyes burning now. His fears made their way up into his chest. -What if _not_? What if I had died anyway? What then?"

Charles looked calm. -I had to make the link unbreakable, Erik. I had to make it deeper, more permanent - otherwise you would have never made it into the hospital." Charles hesitated just a little, glancing at Erik. -So even if you had...even if you...even _then_ - it wouldn't have broken."

Erik stared, and blinked, and stared - the implications suddenly sinking in. -So if I had died - I would have pulled you _with me_?" he hissed.

Charles' face didn't even flicker. -Yes," he said with calm certainty. Erik shook his head angrily, ready to tell Charles how_ insane_ and ridiculous and dangerous that was, but Charles just tilted his head and turned to look more gentler. -But you did come back. You...you found your way back through the link."

Erik felt his hands shaking a little now, for realizing how close it had been that they had both died in the hospital. That even if Charles was not severely injured, he had willingly put his fate into Erik's hands and held on to the link, refusing to let go even if Erik's body was shutting itself down. Erik flashed his eyes at Charles with angry passion. -You shouldn't have risked it. You shouldn't have risked it for me."

There was a moment when they just stared at each other. But then Charles' face changed and he let out a small, hesitant smile. _Come now, Erik...Wouldn't you have done the same for me?_

Erik opened his mouth instinctively, ready to argue, but no sound came out. He just stared at Charles. Seconds passed, until Erik snapped his mouth shut and let out an irritated groan.

Of course Charles was right. He always was; it was ridiculous. Erik let out a long, loud sigh and looked back at him. Charles was returning his gaze, blue light on his skin, a warm and knowing smile on his lips. All of Erik's irritation suddenly escaped him, and he realized he was staring. Charles hadn't smiled like this for him in _years_, not ever since...since Cuba and everything. Charles' smile still held all the tragedy and sorrow behind it, all the things he had had to go through - but it was still bright and genuine. And Erik hadn't seen him smiling like this at anyone else. Not in the hospital, not anywhere else. Not even to Hank, the short amount of time Erik had had to observe them during the Trask mission. There was something critically different about it, Erik could feel it sending sparks to their link. And the way the blue night light from the window just deepened Charles' own blue eyes made them look mesmerizing. Distractingly clear and deep.

Suddenly Erik had to bite his lip and drop his eyes, because he didn't know where to fix his gaze or what to do with his hands.

-You're impossible," Erik muttered, slumping more into the bed.

-You're one to talk," Charles said, amused, and even if the stayed quiet, his quiet laughter echoed through their link.

Erik found his lips tugging into a smile, irritated fondness filling him.

They fell into a small silence. Erik's eyes dropped to Chales' cheek, finding it satisfyingly healed. Then he glanced at Charles' side where the bullet had scratched him.

-How is that?" Erik asked quietly. Charles looked up, confused what he meant. So without thinking, Erik reached his hand and dropped his fingers on the place he knew the scar was. The moment he did, Charles inhaled sharply and Erik gave him an instant, worried look. -Is it hurting?"

Charles glanced at Erik's hand on his side, then back at Erik. Erik suddenly realized how intimate the gesture was, and froze a little. He also guessed that Charles hadn't actually felt any pain, Erik had just clearly taken him off guard, and it took him a few seconds to recover from the surprise. But then Charles just nodded. -It's fine. Almost gone anyway," Charles replied, and Erik could feel the way he took a long breath from the way his side moved under his hand. But he still wasn't completely convinced, because Charles had a bad habit of waving his injuries off.

Charles just huffed and placed his own hand on top of Erik's. Erik's breath got stuck to his throat a little as their link sparked and Charles just lifted their hands away and put them back on top of the blanket. -You're...you're projecting. I'm not trying to undermine it, Erik, it's really fine," he said and let go, their hands falling next to each other. Erik could still feel the echo of the warmth, though, making his skin prickle with electricity.

Erik almost expected Charles to ask how his leg was feeling, but then he remembered that Charles was probably keeping a constant track on it anyway. It wasn't Erik could exactly lie about the amount of pain of stiffness in his healing body when he had a telepath constantly inside his head. Charles always tried to block Erik's thoughts as well as he could, but this privacy didn't seem to extend to the way Charles made sure Erik was physically alright. Erik almost wished he could do the same for Charles, because Charles was frustratingly careless about himself.

Erik dropped his gaze to their hands, so close but not touching. He knew that if he as much as brushed Charles' fingers, their link would come alive. At some level, Erik had noticed it had felt different since he had woken up in the hospital, but he had thought that Charles' heightened emotions from having to hear the thoughts of dying and suffering patients in the hospital had affected it. He probably should have freaked out that the link was now almost permanent, probably stronger than ever before. But Erik didnt' mind. He didn't mind at all. And that scared him as much as it fascinated him.

-I've...I've been thinking about getting the school started again," Charles said after a pause. Erik blinked, and their eyes met.

Charles sighed, hesitation and mixed emotions crossing his face. -I mean... not now. But in the future sometime, maybe. And I know that it would take time. And effort. And of course there should be more teaching staff and so on, but..." Charles hesitated, and looked like he was trying to search for words. -I just...want to help. To do something."

Guilt suddenly flashed in his face. _To make up for all the damage I've done for the mutants. Even if I know it wasn't my choice._

Erik sighed, but Charles hurried to continue. -And maybe...maybe I could name the school after Hank this time." The familiar sadness crossed Charles' face, but he gave a weak, brave smile. -That's the least I could do to...to remember him. To honor him and everything he did for the me and the mutantkind."

Erik didn't know what to say. Or what to think. It was good that Charles seemed to have regained at least some hope and energy for the future, but...Erik still couldn't see how this could let Charles unlock his true potential. But then again Erik felt disgusted as he suddenly thought of Reach, and decided that he had no authority to decide for Charles. Erik knew for certain that this wasn't his call to make. And that thought something he would have never been able to accept before. But now it came naturally to him - it was Charles' choice.

But despite of it, there was now the unspoken question lingering in the air - what then? What would happen now, after Erik would recover? How would they go on from here? Erik felt suddenly an ugly thought emerging - what if this meant that they should go to their separate ways again? _No._ Erik instantly turned down the idea - he wouldn't be able to leave Charles behind like before, not really. Even if he did, Erik knew with certainty that his mind and heart would still be here in the mansion, like he would be constantly absent-minded, even with the Brotherhood. It wasn't even about the link - it just was the way that Erik had grown used to their closeness. Craved it. Grown attached to it, and living without it would feel like losing a limb - incomplete.

So no. Leaving Charles behind like after Cuba or Trask wasn't an option here. There had to be something else.

But then again, Erik felt the harsh reality starting to dawn on him. He wouldn't be able to stay here forever, just him and Charles alone in the mansion. They couldn't just shut their eyes from the outside world in the longer run, couldn't let the mutants survive on their own. Maybe it was arrogant and pretentious to think that they were both needed, but Erik had no trouble agreeing with that thought.

Erik had told Charles about the Brotherhood back in the hospital - that Leap was gathering the scattered members and that they had gone after the remaining Chimera members. It would take probably several months - even over a year - before they were all tracked down and turned in to the police. And Erik was in no condition to lead anyone right now, or not properly at least - he could give orders and get reports, but not go out there himself. And he didn't even feel the motivation to leave, not really. It bothered him - how comfortable he felt right here. How he almost wanted to be selfish and have this for himself. To just...forget the rest of the world and take back some of the time that he had wasted when it came to Charles. To play chess with him, watch him drink tea, have telepathic conversations with him from the other side of the house, hear Charles' quiet laughter through the link. Sit. Eat. Breathe. Erik wanted to curl himself next to Charles every night, to see the exact shade of his eyes and the way they lit up when Charles smiled, to hear him breathing, his heart beating through the link...

Erik had gotten a taste of something too good, even if it was simple in itself.

He had never wanted anything this badly before. It was almost terrifying, because it wasn't destructive as the need for revenge was. It wasn't consuming like anger. This was something else entirely.

Charles stirred something in his heart, a heart he wasn't supposed to have. And Erik just realized with even more certainty that he couldn't have been more right about the last thing he had said to Charles in the docks. He couldn't deny or hide from it - Charles was the exception to everything. He was the only thing in the world that mattered to Erik, _truly_ mattered. Because while he had aimed all of his passion and energy to the mutant cause, it felt like an endless war. Abstract and slow. But Charles was real and solid and warm and Erik didn't know what to do.

-I'm...I'm so glad you're here," Erik stuttered out. He still had trouble admitting these kinds of things aloud, but he wanted to say it. Forced himself to say it. Erik felt nervousness making his chest tighten, but the smile that spread to Charles' face made him almost forget it.

_So am I, Erik_, he sent quietly. Charles eyed him, and then slowly the smile faded. Then something sad creeped into his face, and Erik felt a rush of anxiety coming from Charles' end of the link. _It came too close. You were almost gone. _Charles's face fell, and looked like he was struggling to keep himself neutral.

-I always thought that if that would happen, that if you'd be lost...then I...I wouldn't be so affected," Charles said quietly. He took a quick breath, like trying to hold on to the stubborn spirit. -And I want you to know, Erik, that still don't accept the bad deeds you've done. You have done terrible things that I will never change my mind about. And as much easier as it would make this all, I still don't agree to your ways, or tolerate your violence."

But then Charles seemed to lose his stern mood, as if he was losing a fight with himself after he had gotten that all said. His eyes softened, and he glanced at their hands on the bed. Erik felt sudden restless fear and endless sorrow gripping him - if this was all Charles had to say, if this was rejection and abandonment after everything...Erik would be sucked into a maelstorm again, of hurt and frustration. He bit his lip, insecure fear rising gnawing him. He was about to open his mouth before Charles sighed.

-But..." he suddenly continued, and Erik felt his whole world halting. He stared at Charles expectantly, that one word making mad hope ignite in his chest.

Charles waited for a moment, like gathering his thoughts. There was almost helpless softness in his face now. -But I can't go back to...to hating you, Erik," he said, voice suddenly breathless and vulnerable. He flickered his eyes to Erik, unhidden emotions on his face. -I can't. I owe you my life more times I can ever repay you. You saved me time after time, even if I never understood _why_. At first I truly thought you wanted to use me, to become your tool, but...I was wrong, Erik. I know that now. Have known it for a long time. And I _hated_ to be wrong about this. Because...what can I do now? I found myself using my powers to manipulate the doctors. I found myself deepening our link to the point of making it permanent, just so I wouldn't have to lose you. I watched as they operated on you, and I felt like..."

Charles suddenly squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. There was a small silence, and Erik had to bit his lip. He realized he had forgotten to breathe.

Charles blinked his eyes open, something glistening in them now. -I tried to make excuses, to hold on to my old bitterness. Because you have hurt me more than anyone else before, Erik. You robbed me of my legs, of my sister, and the most happiest time of my life, and I was so _angry_. So blindly angry. And so even in the cabin and after that, I tried to come up with excuses and explanations to keep hating you. But I was too tired to feel so empty, so bitter. I was sick of feeling your guilt poisoning the parts of you that are still good. I sensed some of your emotions throught the link, and I found no hostility in you when it came to me. And I just didn't have any strength to be mad at you after Hank..."

Charles' voice broke but he took a sharp breath and forced himself to continue. -It was eating me alive, Erik. The agony. The grief. The hate - all of it. So I decided to try and forgive you. Even if I honestly thought I never could."

Erik could still remember that day vividly, when they had been in the mansion after the time spent in the cabin and they had made a truce - Charles had promised to try and forgive him. But Erik was too transfixed in every syllable Charles was producing right now to pay any attention to the memory. Erik stared at him, heart pounding with hope.

Charles swallowed. -Because how could I ever forgive you after everything you've done? But...But when I stared at those doctors operating you in the hospital and declaring the time of your death...I realized I already had. I had forgiven long before that. I just...couldn't let you go. Maybe it was selfish of me, I admit. Maybe it was because I felt terribly lonely. Hank always said that you are not good to me, that you wouldn't deserve my forgiveness, and that it was a good thing that you stayed away. Maybe he was even right, but...then again - here we are. Fate seems to brings us together. And...I don't even know if my forgiveness makes any difference, if you would even care abou-"

-It means everything to me," Erik interrupted so passionately that he surprised himself. He blinked, and swallowed, but knew that despite the sudden burst of honesty, he had meant what he said. He couldn't stand the idea of Charles always being unreachable, of always blaming him and hating him on some level, no matter how well they would get along on the outside. So Erik nodded solemnly. _I mean it._

Charles was taken aback, and studied Erik closely for a while. Erik felt flashes of surprise from Charles. It astonished Erik that Charles still didn't get it, still didn't understand the extent of how wrapped around him Erik was. How completely he was orbiting Charles like a planet going around the sun. Gravity and endless magnetism at work.

Charles shifted just a little closer to Erik, moving his head right next to Erik's. He once again turned to stare at their hands, so close but not touching.

-In the end, it doesn't really matter," Charles said quietly. There was a strained pause. -Because...I have forgiven you, Erik."

Erik wheezed in a shaky breath, and felt like a huge pressure had just fallen off his chest, like a weight that had been there and suffocating him for years had suddenly been lifted off. Erik felt a lump forming to his throat, as he struggled to get his airways back in control. It was ridiculous how his eyes started to burn, how raw and open this seemed to make him. -T-thank you," Erik managed to say, emotions thick in his voice.

Then something new sparked in his chest - so strong and different than it almost made Erik disoriented. For a few seconds, he stopped to listen, to observe it - and he realized it was _joy_. As pathetic it seemed, Erik had forgotten what joy felt like, how pure and wild and healing - one that wasn't mixed into sadistic pleasure or revenge. This was just pure joy. And Erik let it flow into him, drinking it in. He couldn't even remember when he had felt like this before - or if he ever had at all.

Erik's thoughts were interrupted by Charles pulling the pillow under his head and moving a little closer. Erik turned to look at him, and almost forgot everything instantly when his eyes locked with Charles'. Charles' eyes were so breath-takingly blue and sharp, and there was something final and solemn in them now. Erik understood that Charles was about to say something important, and Erik turned all of his attention to him. Charles fingers suddenly brushed Erik's, and he slowly reached for Erik's wrist, curling his fingers around it.

The jolt that the link gave made Erik startle a little - it seemed that Charles' emotions were heightening it.

Charles' gaze seemed to see beyond Erik's walls, beyond the surface of this thoughts. His grip tightened around Erik's wrist, his eyes filled with passion. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet but clear. -I have seen the bright parts of you. Hopeful and good, capable of empathy and...caring. And I want to guard those parts, Erik, because it's never too late for you to act them on them, to embrace them. It seems I'm hopelessly hopeful when it comes to you, and this fact doesn't seem to change despite the years that pass."

Erik felt an age-old bittersweet sadness sting him. As much as he hated it, he couldn't silence the unpleasant truth.

_I can never be like you, Charles,_ he sent with grim tone. But Charles didn't seem to be surprised. Instead, he let out a weak smile.

-I know. I don't expect you to. But maybe you could come half-way. Maybe you could choose to make different decisions, to make compromises."

Erik bit his lip, surprised - his mind swirling with thoughts. That...that sounded almost agreeable. The more Erik thought about it, the more sure he was that he could at least promise to listen, just as long as he wasn't forced to agree with anything. But still, Erik felt uncertain. He suddenly knew that they were now talking about the future, of possibly working together. It dawned on Erik in a rush, that Charles was suggesting some kind of cooperation. That Charles was ready to try and make it work, despite how differently they saw things. And Erik cherished the idea, even the concept of it. He just wasn't sure if it could truly ever work.

Erik looked at him warily, in two minds. -I wouldn't always agree. Maybe not even often. Or ever. And I would take action if I saw it fit and if the situation called for it."

Charles looked serious now. -Contrary to your beliefs, Erik, I'm not naive enough to think that there will be no more victims on either side in the years to come."  
Charles gave him a calculating look. -But having said that, I will never accept murder and pointless violence. This will not change no matter what happens. And you know this. But...but Erik, if you can respect that, then I can respect your judgement and listen to what you have to say."

Erik looked at him, and tried to picture it. Tried to picture them debating over what to do. Erik knew it would lead to fights. It would lead to heated discussions. Frustration, disagreements. Angry bickering. But then again - the only other option would be that they would go to their different ways. That Erik would have to stay away, and keep his Brotherhood elsewhere. That Charles and his possible new school would be here on its own. And Erik just couldn't stand the idea, couldn't imagine himself spending months or even years away - he just wouldn't be able to do it, not anymore.

He sighed, feeling both defeated and oddly accepting. He looked at Charles. -Alright."

-Alright?", Charles asked, surprised, like he had never imagined Erik to really agree. He stared Erik with confusion, like trying to make sense if Erik was serious or not.

Erik huffed. -Yes, I said _alright_, Charles. Even if I'm not sure if it'll ever even work bec-"

-I know," Charles said, interrupting him, like he knew everything Erik was about to say. Like all of their ideologies and differences in views were so obvious that they didn't need to be voiced. Instead, Charles looked at him with intensive gaze. -I know it might not work. I think it's even likely that it won't, but...But Erik, are you sure you're willing to _try_?"

Erik stared back, and felt an odd sting in the pit of his stomach. It felt like irritated affection. In that moment, Erik realized that no matter what his answer would had originally been, he had no choice. Not really - he had lost this fight. There was nothing else to do - he couldn't leave, and he couldn't just hide from the world either. He wouldn't stand down and step into the shadows, but he also refused to part ways with Charles again. So it had to be this. They just had to try. Had to make it work, as hard and frustrating it would definitely be.

-Yes," Erik finally said. Charles' underlying excitement was so obvious that there was no way Erik couldn't have missed it. Erik nodded. -I'm willing to try."

Charles gave him such a wide smile that it made something flutter in Erik's chest, and he had to shake his head, mumbling profanity to himself in German. He really was a lost cause. Charles was to only person in the whole world that could drive him both ends to his emotional scale - from unbelievable frustration to limitless affection. Erik didn't even know how it happened, it just did.

They would fight about their views, they surely would - probably until the end of the world. But now it also felt like that they had finally found some level playing field, of mutual respect and understanding in such large extent that there was a small chance that they could actually get along when it came something else besides just surviving and running from the Chimera.

-Thank you," Charles whispered, and his relief and joy bled through the link to Erik too. Then he suddenly flashed Erik an image of the mansion full of new students, of the school being active again - and Erik also saw himself, and some members of his Brotherhood in the brief vision. Then the image faded as quickly as it had appeared, and Erik blinked in surprise. He eyed Charles carefully.

-You'd...you'd let my team stay in here?" Erik asked, voice strained, because he had never even dared to imagine it.

Charles looked serious again. -I will never turn down mutants from my door. As long as they are willing to respect my rules, and to obey them to keep everyone safe. Although I'm pretty sure your team members wouldn't want to stay here anyway."

Erik stared, and stared, and closed his mouth. He knew that the Brotherhood members would probably just drop by, but that wasn't what he had paid attention to. It was himself in the image, of being in the mansion.

-Would you..." Erik said, rising his eyebrows. -Would you let me to stay?" he asked so quietly that his voice was barely audible.

Charles huffed, and dropped his gaze. -I had no intention to kick you out. It's your choice, it always is - whether you'd like to stay or not."

Erik suddenly felt air escaping him. He suddenly felt so many emotions flowing to him and becoming overwhelming that he couldn't trust his voice. _I...I would like to stay. If that's alright to you._

Charles huffed and flashed such a warm smile that it made Erik feel defenceless._ It is alright with me_, he said, and there was almost something teasing in his tone. _It's not like we're out of space._

Erik didn't miss the way Charles said 'we', and it felt odd and natural at the same time. Erik almost wanted to remind Charles that even now, despite the enormous mansion at their disposal, they had still crammed themselves both in the one simple bedroom and small bed. But Erik suddenly felt like he couldn't since he felt heat creeping into his cheeks, and he hated it, and tried to stop it from happening.

He had never imagined that this could ever be real, that he was...he was going to stay with Charles. That they would stay here, that Erik would have a home of a kind...That they would try to work together, because staying apart wasn't really an option either.

And in that moment, Erik felt something disturbingly like happiness emerging from the depths of himself - feeling like he belonged somewhere, like there was a hope for him after all. That he could lie down here every night, that he could share his days with Charles. That in addition the purpose he had always served, he felt more than just a pawn, a faceless soldier in a war. Like he was actually trying to live instead of just existing and marching on.

Erik hadn't felt like this ever before. Even before Cuba, he had been shadowed by Shaw's existence and his own need to revenge. He had never really considered staying, not truthfully, because he had considered himself superior to Charles. He had been too wrapped in his own anger and tragedies, glorifying them and wearing his cruelty like a crown. He had seen Charles merely just as an arrogant, spoiled academic that didn't know anything about the world. That Charles didn't know anything about grief or misery. But Erik now understood with so much clarity that Charles' kindness wasn't naivety - that it was a choice he had made, that it was a strength and a struggle to maintain. Erik almost felt humble, because he knew now that being angry was easy. Forgiving and understanding were not. There was a whole new level of respect Erik had for Charles, in every sense he hadn't had before.

Maybe they could really start again. Maybe they had a second chance now, for everything. Whatever it would be.

But there was still something Erik wanted to say. One more thing that was hanging between them ever since the hospital. Erik swallowed, feeling slightly nervous. But he had to know. He had wasted enough time and chances to open his mouth and say the things he had stayed quiet about for so long.

-Charles..." Erik started, and Charles looked at him, curious.

Erik almost forgot what he was about to stay. He had to drop his eyes and look at the spot where Charles' hands were still wrapped around his wrist. Erik felt the urge to do something with his other free hand, and instinctively reached it to the spot where Charles' veins were slightly visible. Erik brushed them almost absent-mindedly, their hands tangled together, link pulsing quietly in the background.

_You never said if_.._.if __**you**__ want me to stay. You just said I can stay if I want to, _Erik sent.

He glanced up nervously. Charles looked at him with an unreadable look on his face. He studied Erik for a while, and Erik hated he couldn't hear Charles' thoughts - for a very short moment, Erik wished he shared Charles' abilities. He cleared his throat. -If you want me to leave...all you need to do is ask," Erik said, meaning every word.

Charles huffed incredulously, several emotions flashing in his face. Charles seemed to consider his reply, until he just sighed and drew his hand free and brought it to the side of Erik's face, hovering there.

Erik froze for a moment, and stared at Charles. Charles seemed to wait for a wordless permission. Erik just nodded.

Charles placed his hand against Erik's cheek and forehead, and the touch made goosebumps crawl on Erik's skin. The link also gave another jolt. But before Erik had the time to think anything else, Charles was suddenly sending him memories. Images, vivid flashes. Suddenly Erik was sucked into them, seeing everything through Charles' eyes.

* * *

_The Chimera headquarters. Hank, scalpels, lab coats, torture..._

Erik watched as the memories unraveled before his eyes.

_Charles' pain, the needles being pushed into his skin, piercing muscles. _

_Charles screaming Hank's name, Hank whispering soothing things to Charles through the torture sessions._

Erik almost wished he didn't have to see any of it. He couldn't stand the mere thought of anyone ever hurting Charles again.

_Hank's last moments. Hank dying as Charles felt every second of it. Charles screaming inside his own head, tamed by machines and drugs._

_Then darkness._

_Charles trying to keep himself sane, chanting same things over and over again:_ "_My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant. I am a telepath._"

_Slowly, that slipping away. Like all the other things about himself, bit by bit . His face, his body, his sense of time. "My name is Charles" - that is the only coherent thing there is left, only thing Charles fights to keep to himself, no matter how much they try to take it away. "Your name is Reach!" they keep telling him. Charles refuses to believe it. Everything goes blacker, more numb._

Erik recognized the moment Charles' memories stopped and faded for a while, when there was a blank hole in the middle of them.

_Then the hospital. Charles' amensia, the blank emptiness. "Charles is __**not**__ Erik._ "

_Sensations._ _Cabin. _

Erik saw his own face suddenly emerging from the memories, through Charles' eyes. The moment when Charles' memory and telepathy had returned at the same time with a sudden rush back in the cabin, and the way Charles had felt himself falling on the bed. The pain was so horrible, ripping through his head, so breath-taking, that Erik still shivered for remembering it, for feeling the faint echo of it in the memory.

_Cabin. Charles remembering Hanks' death, how it devastated him and broke his heart. Fighting angrily with Erik, feeling so much frustration and hurt and anger. Leap. The mansion._

Erik dreaded the moment he knew that would soon come - he had to witness helplessly as Charles climbed to the roof, as he sat down on the edge.

_"Hank. Hank, please. Don't be dead...I'm sorry. It was all my fault." Charles' endless and miserable pleas falling to deaf ears. _

_Erik's there all of a sudden, talking quietly. Then pounding the roof, angry and scared, and Charles understands the first time that Erik really isn't going to leave, that he truly cares. _

Erik froze for a moment, as he realized that it had been the turning point for Charles, that the way Erik had lashed out and had a break-down on the roof had been the catalyst of Charles' forgiveness and understanding for him.

_Sadness. Grief. Memories of Hank. Charles' back aching, the old wound knocking the air out of him as the serum started fading. Erik, Erik's constant presence. Erik's touches, Erik's eyes, Erik's stubborness. _

Erik could feel Charles' confusion and irritation in the old memories, how hard and muddled everything was for Charles, how wrecked he had been after the headquarters.

_Their meld. Charles' buried emotions, his yearning for someone, for anyone. His slowly changing views, his anger fading. Erik's hands. Erik's wry smile._

Then there were quick and blurry flashes of Raven's mind, and Leap getting stabbed. Erik felt odd to see himself through Charles' mind, to hear his own name tangled with the memories, to feel Charles' emotions surrounding them.

_Erik gasping for air, screaming Charles' name in panic. Charles staying still under his illusion_,_ feeling horribly guilty for making both Raven and Erik think that he is dead. That there is a bullet wound on his head, that he is gone. Erik's arms and hands feel too desperate, too warm, and Charles' heart quivers with empathy - Erik's tears that fall on Charles' unmoving face feel like they are burning Charles to the core._

Suddenly the memories picked up speed,and Erik was lost in the way they swirled forward, how Charles' emotions magnified and how his anger was starting to fade in them, how it was morphing into breath-taking amount of new realizations, thoughts, and perceptions. Suddenly Erik was the center of Charles' world and memories, and Erik could see them both lying on the small dusty hotel bed, could feel Charles' guilt over letting Erik think he had died. Erik could sense the way he felt warm against Charles, how safe Charles had felt with him despite the Chimera on their trail.

_Soldiers. Needles. Syringes getting emptied into their necks. Attacks. Hypersensitive skin, Charles' scattered shields._

The memories obviously came in chronological order, because the next thing that followed was their capture and then the Chimera, and Charles feeling through the link how Erik's mouth let out a snarl as he bit down and tore open Reach's artery. Erik could see in the memory how Charles' world had already gone black from the lack of oxygen at that point, how he was so close to slip away.

_Corridors._ _Black river water. Bubbles. Erik's arms around Charles, pulling him up to the surface of the river._

And then suddenly they were in the docks, and Erik could feel the agony and fear that had been ripping Charles open, how his own body weight had felt against Charles, how the bullets had rocked his body as they had sunk into his flesh. And Erik could feel tears leaking out of Charles' eyes, how Erik's own lips had pressed against Charles', how Charles whole world seemed to ignite at that moment as Erik bid him farewell.

_"Leb wohl."_

_Charles' breaths getting stuck to his throat._

_Sirens. Police. Lights of ambulance. Pain. Fear._ _Smell of a hospital. Tears. ErikErikPleaseNo. Running people, screaming._

It all spiraled into the exact moment when Charles was staring at Erik in the hospital corridor that was already full of other wounded or dead mutants and bleeding humans. How the doctors had lost the faint pulse and the green line in the machines stayed flat and letting out an endless beep, and Erik could feel Charles' heart-break through the memory, how Charles had hated himself and yet did not hesitate as he reached for the medical director's mind, how it took everything out of him because he was still partly under the serum's influence to control anyone - but he did it anyway.

_"Erik! Stay with me. Stay with me please."_

Erik relived Charles' panic as he realized Erik was not going to survive, that his body wouldn't be able to pull it through. There was Charles' hasty and frantic panic as he reached for the link, gave it everything he got, and forced the link to go deeper.

And suddenly Charles was falling too, sinking into the abyss, getting dragged after Erik, dying _dying_, in case Erik didn't pull back.

* * *

**CLICK.**

Erik was knocked breathless as Charles withdrew his hand, and Erik slumped to the bed bonelessly. The room came back to him too quickly, and he drew a shuddering breath, his whole body on fire and his mind shaking from the influx of new information, of finally seeing what Charles had seen, of finally getting something solid from him. Of seeing the true colours and shades of Charles' memories, all of the feelings reinforced and relived.

Erik was shaking, and he felt like he couldn't breathe, because his own emotions were suddenly carved raw and fresh, echoes of Charles' memories mixing into his own, his nerve endings and synapses madly sensible. His whole mind was suddenly blown wide open and alive, and Erik's earlier barriers were snapped open, his own hopes and fears and emotions breaking down and roaring forwards like a river. He was suddenly defenceless, torn open and honest, Charles' memories still fresh and strong in his mind.

There had been affection and yearning and endless_ ErikErikErik_ in Charles' memories, and Erik felt almost enchanted and drugged at the same time, their link making a twinge of euphoria sparking in his head, even if it was laced with pain and memory of agony.

And suddenly Erik couldn't stand it any longer, and without even seeing properly yet, he reached for Charles and pulled him close, sheets rustling and their breaths mixing into each other and link rattling like a bonfire that had been just fueled with new firewood and reached for the sky hungrily.

Erik didn't even know what he was doing, the impulse just had risen from the deepest and most suppressed part of his brain. He almost wanted to melt through Charles' skin, because he was so warm and familiar and kind and safe, and Erik felt his heart fluttering for the thought of them both being right here, alive and breathing, safe and alone. And every inch of Charles' was just perfect the way it was, the exact shade of his eyes, the way his hair felt under Erik's fingertips, the way his kind stubborness bled through the link. He felt so soft and there was too much space between them, and Erik wanted closer, closer. Because Erik just couldn't get _enough, _he felt like the magnets he toyed so easily with - strongly pulled forward, speeding up the closer he got.

He felt like he could go insane when he tried to apply logic to it, to feel neutral and indifferent, because there was no escape and Erik felt helpless and yet he couldn't bring himself to feel scared.

He buried his face against Charles' neck, skin and head on fire because the link seemed to widen and intensify, thinning the line between their minds.

Charles gasped in surprise, and Erik shivered for the air that escaped Charles' lips and hit his cheek, and Erik's hands were shaking and he was too afraid to move because he didn't know what he would do.

Everything was too much, and yet not nearly enough.

Erik had always thought that feeling like this would only happen in the fairytales and stories that humans had come up with, that there was _no way_ that it was physically or mentally possible to feel like being mad and completely sane at the same time. Of this, whatever it was - driving him crazy, in an euphoric way.

Their link transferred emotions from both of them, mixing into each other.

Erik felt suddenly breathless, like his whole world was pinpointed this exact moment._ I meant what I said,_ he suddenly said - almost shouted shakily through the link. He had to let Charles know. _At the docks. You...you should know that. _

Erik felt like he could break apart from the nervousness and the thousands of emotions that were gripping him. He was almost too afraid to go on and see what Charles would say, what he thought, because Erik had been so afraid that he was alone in this madness, that Charles didn't share this at all.

Gentle warmth sparked from Charles' end, and Erik could both sense and feel him smiling. Erik squeezed his eyes shut. He was shaking, and his eyes burned underneath his closed eyelids. He felt so much affection for Charles that it almost felt like it could tear him in two, because he could barely contain it. Erik slided his fingers into Charles' chair, holding him gently closer. Then he whispered: _You are the first, last and only exception to everything in my life, Charles Xavier. _

Erik held his breath, biting his lip so hard it almost started to bleed. He could feel how Charles' heartbeat quickened, how his pulse was so close and warm, right there. Erik swallowed. _That's the only thing I know for sure, _he sent.

A wave of incredible light and heat struck Erik through the link. Charles hands suddenly curled around Erik's neck, sunk into his hair, and Erik felt like he was suddenly thrown in to hot flames, like he was about to catch fire too.

Charles pressed their foreheads together, their faces suddenly just inches apart. Erik just lingered there, letting Charles to decide what to do. Erik could feel every single inch of their skin contact, of the exact way Charles' breaths hit his own lips, how their faces mirrored each other. For a moment, they just stayed there, breathing, trembling.

Charles suddenly reached for the memory from the docks, pulling it on the conscious level, and their minds were so close now that Erik saw the image of it too. Erik could hear his own raspy breaths in the memory, the smell of gunfire and salt water, their bodies pressed together. Himself saying his last words to Charles:

_"If I ever had felt love...any form of it..._ _...then certainly, Charles...it would have been for you."_

Then the memory swam slowly away, starting to fade, and Erik realized he was holding his breath, shivering, sparks flying everywhere inside his mind.

_I never had the chance to answer you,_ Charles whispered solemnly, so quiet and vulnerable that Erik heightened his every sense to their absolute peaks. It seemed the world stopped for a moment.

_Because Erik..." _Charles breathed out_. I think that makes two us._

The way Erik let out the breath he was holding sagged the tension from his body and made his emotions rush themselves forward, like all air escaped him. The movement also pushed him even closer than he already was, made the link start to turn into a meld, reaching for Erik's whole mind, bringing it alive. It made the flames lit up and consume him, burn him, and Erik felt so alive, and knew how right he had been, that this was the only exception, that he might be many things - Magneto, villain, Holocaust survivor, fighter, murderer, megalomaniac... - but this was his secret place, his weak spot, his Achilles heel, his _everything_. Right here. Exactly this. _Charles._

And no matter how many bad things Erik's numerious names held, this was just _good_ and right, this moment.

There might be a new threat or Chimera tomorrow, there might be new fights and maybe this wouldn't last forever, but Erik would have traded it all for this moment. Everything. For this exact moment.

Of remembering - no, _learning_ how it felt to be happy and complete.

That there still was light in him.

That_ hope_, the alien concept that he had never felt, could be offered to someone like him too.

And Erik didn't even exactly know what this was, between him and Charles, but he was perfectly fine with everything. With being like this together, with their existences just tangling together - or even being something more, of this evolving into something even more profound. It didn't matter. It was all good. It was like he was drinking from a never-ending fountain, never stopping - and he would keep drinking it no matter what the water held in it. He was thirsty nonetheless.

Erik's mind and body was trembling, all of his worries melting and disappearing as the fire kept burning.

And as Erik felt his mind already melding into Charles', he also felt the space from between their bodies disappear. Erik pulled Charles carefully closer, all of the broken parts of their bodies forgotten. Charles let out a breath and then suddenly they shared the same air, their lungs and minds and everything becoming one. Everything was echoing the moment on the docks, almost every detail - only difference that now they were both alive and warm. Growing stronger instead of fading away. Picking up where they had left off, uninterrupted now. And Erik cherished _everything_.

He lost himself into warmth, let himself float in it.

If he died right now, right here, it wouldn't even matter. Erik felt like he was holding liquid fire in his arms, and as if it was spreading through the link into him, burning in all the right ways. Outside there was skin and air and hands buried into strands of hair; inside there was two souls and existences uniting. Charles' familiar warm presence was increasing in Erik's head - the one presence his mind instantly recognized and pulled in like a missing counterpart, like a long-lost lover, wrapping and tangling into it, bodies echoing the movements.

Somewhere, far away, in the dim valleys of Erik's mind, dark flowers wrapped their roots deeper and deeper - until they were irreversibly permanent and infinite in the ground. For a moment, they settled, and waited - waited until Charles' mind tangled into Erik's completely. Until the last line was blurred.

And then - then they bloomed.


End file.
